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Speaker 1: First Date of follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury

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Speaker 1: Attorneys online at AUSLA dot com.

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Speaker 2: Jessica is on the phone today for a first date

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Speaker 2: follow up and she's getting ghosted by a dude named Chris. Jessica,

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Speaker 2: thank you for coming on the show. Before you tell

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Speaker 2: us about your date, how long has it been since

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Speaker 2: you heard from Chris.

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Speaker 3: It's been a few days with no response.

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Speaker 2: Whatsoever, nothing at all.

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Speaker 4: Okay, have you tried to reach out to him?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been texting him because I think it's super

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Speaker 1: weird that we had a date and then he just

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Speaker 1: stopped texting after weeks of texting all the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, did you guys meet on an app and

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Speaker 2: we're talking a bunch before you went out?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we met on an app and then we only

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Speaker 1: had one date, which was, you know, kind of basic

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Speaker 1: like happy hour, just some drinks and we shared an appetizer,

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Speaker 1: but then nothing since that date ended.

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Speaker 4: Did the date go well?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 1: I mean I can't say that I was like super

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Speaker 1: into him, but nothing went wrong in the date. Like,

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Speaker 1: it's not that big of a deal that he goes

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Speaker 1: to me. Except I hate when people don't respond to text.

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Speaker 5: She's like, I don't really like him, but the principle

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Speaker 5: at this point, so it's more just getting ghosted than

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Speaker 5: anything I get that I need.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to have to keep thinking about him

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Speaker 3: if like there's no reason to.

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Speaker 1: But there's something psychologically about being ghosted that makes me

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Speaker 1: like obsessed over something that I barely even care about.

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Speaker 4: Could that have come up into date? Kind of a

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Speaker 4: red flag? I'm not sure you could tell you.

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Speaker 5: I understand you, and I know I'm a walking red

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Speaker 5: flag at times, and so that's why I'm just asking.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just think it's really rude, Like

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Speaker 1: if we're old enough to go on a date, then

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Speaker 1: we should be old enough to say if we're not interested.

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Speaker 1: And I'm curious, is it me or did he just

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Speaker 1: not feel a connection or did he go on a

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Speaker 1: date with someone else? And like the more like all

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Speaker 1: of that's fine, I would just like to know what

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Speaker 1: the answer.

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Speaker 2: Is if he was still talking to you, would you

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Speaker 2: want to go out with him again? Or is it

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Speaker 2: just that you're getting ghosted and you can't you can't

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Speaker 2: stand not knowing why.

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Speaker 3: It's sort of.

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Speaker 1: More of the latter, But like I'm open, I didn't

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Speaker 1: have a strong feeling one way or the other on

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Speaker 1: whether we should go out again, So I'm open. I

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Speaker 1: would just kind of like to know why he stopped

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Speaker 1: responding to text messages.

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Speaker 5: So if you think back to the date though, to

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Speaker 5: your like okay date, was there anything that was like

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Speaker 5: less okay then normal?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Normally people are like I really liked him, and

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Speaker 2: I don't know why they're ghosting me. You're just like,

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Speaker 2: I don't WIT's whatever with him? I just don't want

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Speaker 2: to be ghosted.

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Speaker 5: And because if you're feeling like it was with whatever,

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Speaker 5: maybe he thought it was just whatever too, and so

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Speaker 5: he's like why bother?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess, but it takes two seconds to be like,

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Speaker 1: oh I just don't feel a connection.

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Speaker 3: Er, I'm not interested, you know, like why would you

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Speaker 3: not act.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm actually kind of worried because he was so

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Speaker 1: responsive before in the date, and he was all initially

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Speaker 1: on the date.

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Speaker 3: So I'm worried he might like be really sick.

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Speaker 4: Actually, are you feeling sick at all? I mean maybe

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Speaker 4: you know, if you feel good.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel totally fine.

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Speaker 1: So if you did have something, I didn't catch it,

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Speaker 1: But I mean he was really smith fully, like totally

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Speaker 1: nose blacks and everything.

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Speaker 2: Do you think that he knew you weren't that into it?

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Speaker 3: Maybe? I mean, like I said, it's the first date.

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Speaker 1: So it's not like I'm going to be like gushing

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Speaker 1: over someone right away or like completely uninterested.

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Speaker 3: I kind of feel like you should give people a chance,

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Speaker 3: So I don't know. I don't think I gave off

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Speaker 3: weird signals.

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Speaker 2: Did anything happen on your date that you think could

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Speaker 2: be a reason that he ghosted you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like we hugged when we first got there, and

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Speaker 1: it was a nice hug, like he came full on,

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Speaker 1: in full body contact. He had, you know, no problem

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Speaker 1: sharing food, which I like because I think that's like

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Speaker 1: a way to connect if you're sharing a plate as

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Speaker 1: opposed to getting your own things. You know, like your

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Speaker 1: average date, I.

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Speaker 5: Feel like, I don't know, do well, how do you

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Speaker 5: feel about going on an average date? Would you want

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Speaker 5: another date after an average date?

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Speaker 3: Not?

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Speaker 2: Usually No, And I would be fine getting ghosted because

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Speaker 2: I'm like cool, I don't have to talk to him again,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, clearly you're healthier I am.

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Speaker 5: I wouldn't say that he's been working on it while yeah, well, Okay,

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Speaker 5: we'll try to figure out for you.

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Speaker 2: What's the last thing that he said to you.

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Speaker 1: Oh, he said this was great and I'll talk to

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Speaker 1: you soon, like it ended in a positive way that

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Speaker 1: would make you think that there's going to be communication afterwards.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, well we'll see if we can figure

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Speaker 2: it out for you. Well, play a song, come back,

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Speaker 2: and then call him and find out where you're getting

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Speaker 2: ghosted next. Okay, all right, think all right, so will

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Speaker 2: show friends the middle of today's first day follow up

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Speaker 2: and if you're just joining us, Jessica is on the

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Speaker 2: phone and she's getting ghosted by a guy named Chris.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't really care that much about Chris, but she

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Speaker 2: wants to know why he's coasting or real quick, Jessica,

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Speaker 2: for anybody just joining us, give us a recap of

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Speaker 2: your situation.

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Speaker 3: So I went on a date with Chris. Things went fine.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I even want a second date,

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Speaker 1: but he stopped responding to text and it's driving me crazy.

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Speaker 3: So I have to find out why.

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Speaker 5: Okay, you know what she's doing it for all the

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Speaker 5: people that just are like, well why not, I'm bomb?

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Speaker 1: Yeah you know, yeah, I mean if I'm going on

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Speaker 1: a date and there's ghosting involved, it better be from me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, we're about to call him and try to

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Speaker 2: figure out why he's ghosting here, all right, Jessica, are

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Speaker 2: you ready?

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Speaker 3: I'm so ready.

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Speaker 2: Okay, here we go, one Dallas phone number.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, this is Chris.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Chris, how are you? This is Jewble from the

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Speaker 2: Jewbel Show. It's a radio show.

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Speaker 4: Hi, Chris, I'm Nina also on that show.

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Speaker 2: That's Nina, and then Victoria's over there. There's three people

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Speaker 2: on the phone with you right now.

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Speaker 4: What's up, Chris?

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Speaker 6: I'm so sorry?

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Speaker 3: What is going on?

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Speaker 2: We do a segment on our show and it's called

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Speaker 2: the first Date follow Up. It's where you go out

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Speaker 2: on a date with somebody and then you end up

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Speaker 2: ghosting them. They asked if we can get you on

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Speaker 2: the phone to figure out what happened, and we got

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Speaker 2: an email about you from somebody that you went on

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Speaker 2: a date with recently.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, now I know what this is about. Brilliant hie.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so you do know who we're talking about. So

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Speaker 5: is there somebody you're ghosting in particular?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: No, Recently I have been receiving a lot of texts

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Speaker 6: and I haven't been replying to them just honestly because

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Speaker 6: I haven't known how to let me guess is jess

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Speaker 6: go on the line.

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Speaker 2: That is a good guess.

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Speaker 6: I Hi, Jessica, how how are you doing today?

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Speaker 3: Can I talk? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Did you have no choice?

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Speaker 6: Now?

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Speaker 2: Chris knows that you're on the phone.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 6: You know, it's really awkward to bring a whole radio

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Speaker 6: show into this, but I guess you know, I have

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Speaker 6: been dodging the text and everything. So the actual reason

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Speaker 6: that I haven't responded anything, and the reason I haven't

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Speaker 6: really like, I really haven't known how tactually to do this.

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Speaker 6: I couldn't breathe throughout the entire date. And that's not

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Speaker 6: actually like a feelings thing, that's like a medical thing.

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Speaker 6: When I went in for the hug, there was all

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Speaker 6: the cat hair on your sweater and I'm destly just

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Speaker 6: completely allergic to cats, and so my entire breathing system

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Speaker 6: was locking up.

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Speaker 3: Oh well, why don't you.

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Speaker 4: Tell me that fair question.

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Speaker 6: I was trying to do the you know, gentlemanly thing

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Speaker 6: and trying to you know, keep my wits about me,

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Speaker 6: to keep the date going, trying to be lively trying

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Speaker 6: to not you know, especially because I didn't want to

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Speaker 6: put it on you and be like, you know, you're

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Speaker 6: the cause of this or whatever. I really tried to

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Speaker 6: bottle all that up. At the same time, it would

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Speaker 6: have been very difficult for me to articulate any of

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Speaker 6: this just because I couldn't breathe. So I was really smiling,

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Speaker 6: nodding in anything else.

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Speaker 4: But an awkward day. I wonder average.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Jessica told to say your date seemed kind

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Speaker 2: of average, and from what Nina said right there, it

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Speaker 2: would make sense, right because you really talking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we went out.

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Speaker 6: For drinks and for advertisers. It was a happy hour,

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Speaker 6: and I was trying to be as happy as possible

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Speaker 6: while also trying to you know, not faint.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So that's why you weren't really talkative like you

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Speaker 1: are in text, because you could have breathed like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I almost filled you.

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Speaker 6: No, I mean so right and honestly, And that's why

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Speaker 6: I was sharing the plates and everything is because I

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Speaker 6: kind of wanted to keep our mouths full, so I

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Speaker 6: had an excuse not to talk. Yeah, you know, when

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Speaker 6: we were texting, it never came up that you had

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Speaker 6: a cat. Otherwise I would have given you the heads

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Speaker 6: up that I am allergic.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I actually don't have a cat.

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Speaker 1: My roommate has a cat, And if you had just

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Speaker 1: told me about your allergy, I would have made sure

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Speaker 1: I used one of those like hair removal things so

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Speaker 1: that I didn't show up with cat.

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Speaker 3: Here on my shirt.

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Speaker 6: Okay, so I can blame your roommate, then that's totally fun.

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Speaker 6: I'm fine with it.

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Speaker 3: You can.

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Speaker 1: I'll blame yourself because you could have taken an answer

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Speaker 1: hits to me and if you were experiencing such severe.

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Speaker 6: Allergies, I just wasn't expecting to come face to face

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Speaker 6: with like a cat. That that's not really something that

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Speaker 6: I schedule on my daily routine, and therefore an antihistamine

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Speaker 6: is not quite something that is just routine for me.

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Speaker 5: Jessica, was there at any point during the date, like,

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Speaker 5: did you notice that he could have talked?

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Speaker 4: Did he look itchy or like he couldn't breathe?

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Speaker 1: He didn't look itchy, but he definitely sounded like he

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Speaker 1: had a stuff. He knows, like I thought he might

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Speaker 1: have a cold or was getting sick, that he just

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Speaker 1: didn't tell me about. But apparently he's been suffering from

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Speaker 1: this cat allergy all week, which is why he can't

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Speaker 1: respond to my text messages. Is that when I'm hearing Chris.

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Speaker 6: Again, it's difficult because I don't want to throw anybody

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Speaker 6: out of the bus here, except I guess a cat

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Speaker 6: or two. I just didn't want to text and say, hey,

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Speaker 6: we should get together again and kind of lead anybody on,

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Speaker 6: especially if I was, you know, saying that I had

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Speaker 6: to continually contend with like, oh man, I'm gonna have

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Speaker 6: to put my face in other cats, but every time

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Speaker 6: I fear, I will say.

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Speaker 5: It's a teachable moment though, for everybody listening at this point,

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Speaker 5: and especially like as a woman, for a man to

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Speaker 5: be direct and honest about what he's experiencing, that's attractive,

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Speaker 5: Like that's hot. So maybe in the future, Chris, like

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Speaker 5: if you start being able not to breathe, you just

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Speaker 5: straight up say, I got.

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Speaker 6: That's that's nothing more attractive, nothing more attractive than to

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Speaker 6: die gasping for air.

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Speaker 1: All right, Chris, Well, I'm glad you're finally sharing now.

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like I can like close this chapter

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Speaker 1: a bit, but like, honestly I feel like you handle

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Speaker 1: it completely wrong, and maybe you'll take this as a

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Speaker 1: lesson going forward and not ghost people when you're having

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Speaker 1: some kind of issue.

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Speaker 6: I will take that to heart. And I'm so sorry,

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Speaker 6: and I guess listeners of this radio show, I'm so

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Speaker 6: sorry and what I did was not the correct thing

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Speaker 6: to do. Again, You're gonna be more direct from mon

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Speaker 6: from now on.

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Speaker 4: I love that you're being direct and apologizing to Jessica,

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Speaker 4: but it's also hot when you don't apologize to people

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Speaker 4: you don't need to apologize to you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and nobody's really that mad. I'm not mad at you,

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Speaker 2: at you, Chris, like it's understandable.

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Speaker 6: Again, it's that martyrdom. I'm just trying to make sure

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Speaker 6: that everybody in this situation feels great, except for me,

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Speaker 6: who is blushing and just totally read in his office.

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Speaker 6: But you know it's okay.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I guess I have to ask, no matter what, totally, Chris,

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Speaker 2: would you like to go on another date with Jessica.

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Speaker 2: We'll pay for it, you know that I would.

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Speaker 6: I have a lot to make up for here, and

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Speaker 6: Jessica is very very sweet and I enjoy talking to

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Speaker 6: her when I can talk so.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not interested. I really just wanted to know

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Speaker 3: why you go. So I'm gonna say.

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Speaker 4: Now, okay, And that was direct. Yeah, Jubile's first date

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Speaker 4: follow up