1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: My fiance wants to try and open marriage just before 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 1: we get married. I'm suspicious, but should I let him 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: do it? 4 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: You know? I think that's the foundation of any strong, 5 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 2: beautiful relationship, sam Is I want to uh, right before 6 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 2: I commit to you, I just want to run around 7 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 2: and boink a bunch of other people. 8 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to drizzle my glaze on a bunch 9 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: of other women. 10 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 3: Exactly. 11 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,600 Speaker 2: There's a bunch of beautifully unglazed donuts out there that 12 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 2: need to be glazed. 13 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 3: That this person he's just trying to do them a favor. 14 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: Are you going to stop my baking dream? 15 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 2: Wow? 16 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 3: God, the gaslighting. 17 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: Hi, I'm at a loss of what to do. Me 18 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: female twenty five and my fiance, male twenty four have 19 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,160 Speaker 1: been in a relationship for three years. Four years coming 20 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,639 Speaker 1: up in March. Okay, so a good amount of time. 21 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 3: There we go. 22 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: He popped the question a few months ago, and I 23 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: was so excited, Oh so cute, so naive, don't even 24 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: know what's coming, opie, until something else popped out of him, Chlamydia, 25 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: all that open relationship stuff. Okay. I really feel like 26 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: he is quote unquote the one oh my night and 27 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: shining on a farm boy, as you were, Princess Prince, 28 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: Princess Bride. 29 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 3: I have seen that one yea far boy, I forget 30 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 3: that part, but I did see. 31 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: It happens in there. He's the one for me. He's 32 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,039 Speaker 1: amazing in so many ways, and I genuinely feel like 33 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: he feels the same way, or at least I did. 34 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 1: Oh last night, we ordered takeout for dinner and we 35 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: were going to watch the newest Ring of Power episode. 36 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: He was acting incredibly weird, not very talkative, and very fidgety. 37 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: He usually sits pretty still, a relaxed, but he kept 38 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers. Eventually, about halfway 39 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: through the episode, he pauses it and says he wants 40 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: to talk about something extremely important. Taxes, Why on the 41 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: road to more? Or they just couldn't have taken the eagles? 42 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: That is that? That's important, that's the born, That's a 43 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: good question, urgent. He sounded so nervous, and I immediately 44 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: got this sinking feeling, but I told him everything was okay. 45 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: Just tell me what's going on. He said it has 46 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: been on his mind for a while, and he didn't 47 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 1: know if it was just the nerves of realizing he's 48 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: about to be married, but he realized that I am 49 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: his first quote unquote real relationship ooh. Before me, he'd 50 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: only dated a couple people in high school and it 51 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 1: was never long lasting, just like him. 52 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 3: I yopump. 53 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: I asked him where he was going with this, and 54 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:43,399 Speaker 1: he started crying like a little bit. Yeah. He said 55 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: he was scared since he didn't have a lot of 56 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 1: quote unquote experience. There's a lot of quotes in this 57 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 1: one with other people, and he was worried if he 58 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: was making the right decision. Obviously, that effing hurt to hear, 59 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: but I didn't say anything. After dancing around the subject 60 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 1: for a bit, he finally just said what he was thinking, 61 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: that an open relationship would be good for us, at 62 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: least for a little bit. Babe, Babe, I just really 63 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: think that would be sick if I could hook up 64 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: with other babes. 65 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like think about think about how much. 66 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 2: Fun we have together and how much more fun I 67 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 2: could have, Like I would like triple my fun, Babe, 68 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 2: I'd be so happy old time. 69 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like think about one like you having one Lego set, yeah, 70 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: and then think about if you had two lego sets. 71 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,840 Speaker 1: Whoa and then you could build those lego sets together. 72 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that would be so sick. That's so hot. 73 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: These legos aren't the only bricks I'm working with. Oh yeah, 74 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: I want to be bricked up and put one little 75 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: Lego piece inside the other little Lego piece. Oh, connect them, 76 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: connect them, baby. Honestly, the second half of this conversation 77 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: is a blur because my anxiety was so bad I 78 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: was hardly listening. Oh oh pee sorry. He said he 79 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: loved me, and he knows he wants to marry me 80 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: no matter what, but he wants to see what other 81 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: people were like before getting into a lifelong marriage with me. 82 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: He cried throughout the whole conversation, and he kept reassuring 83 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: me that I wasn't the problem. He just wanted to 84 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: quote unquote experience other people since he was never really 85 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: able to. He said, if I agree to an open relationship, 86 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: there would be a lot of rules in place and 87 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 1: it would all be very safe. I actually have a 88 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 1: story about this. Ooh, but I'll leave it to the end. Okay, 89 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: I feel like our relationship is ruined. I'm obviously not okay. 90 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: With an open relationship, he said, I could see other 91 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: people too, but I don't want to. I only have 92 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 1: eyes for him, I only want him, I only love him. 93 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: Oh oh pe. He kept saying, I have every right 94 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: to say no, and he would understand that. He would 95 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: never make me do something I didn't want to. But 96 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: the thing is, since he brought this up, if I 97 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: say no, then I'm constantly going to think he's seeing 98 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: people anyway. Mmm. Wow, yeah, it's already happening. I used 99 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: to have complete trust in him, but now I can't 100 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,839 Speaker 1: stop thinking if he's already seeing other people. 101 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 3: Or at a minimum, like, uh, is he satisfied? 102 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: Is he satisfied? Just yeah, it sounds like he isn't. Well, 103 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: that's kind of what he's saying. Maybe he's bringing this 104 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: up because he cheated on me and needs an excuse. 105 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: Now I don't know. My mind is everywhere. I don't 106 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: know what to do. I told him I would think 107 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: about it, and he hugged me. He didn't let go 108 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: for a long time. I slept on the couch last 109 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 1: night and I told him I needed to be alone. 110 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,799 Speaker 1: Any advice is so appreciated, and I do have an update. 111 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 1: But first, what would you guys do in this situation 112 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: if your significant other said, hey, I want to open 113 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 1: a relationship right before you guys are about to get married. Joe, 114 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: what would you do? 115 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's that's a bit of a ball 116 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 2: to drop, especially like he was the one that proposed. 117 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. 118 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 2: So I find it very strange that, like preparing to propose, 119 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 2: you're going over all these things in your mind, right, 120 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 2: you don't at that point stop and say, yeah, maybe 121 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 2: I am like not ready for this next level of 122 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,719 Speaker 2: commitment because it feels like such. 123 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: A it feels like a huge backtrack. 124 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 2: I feel a huge bait and switch to be like, hey, 125 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 2: I want to get married, like that is saying I 126 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 2: want to be married to you, and I'd be like, oh, 127 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,280 Speaker 2: just kidding, I want like. 128 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: I Yeah, I mean I I had a friend that 129 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: wasn't about to get married, which I think is maybe 130 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: the key, but was dating pretty seriously and then they 131 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: he wanted to see other people and just like experience 132 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 1: what you know, other fish there was in the sea, 133 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 1: and so they broke up for like a summer, and 134 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: then they got back together after it both had experiences 135 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: and now are like probably the strongest relationship I now. Interesting. 136 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, It's it's very hard to say because it's so situational, 137 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 2: but it almost seems like that where it's like that's 138 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 2: way more clear and defined at least. 139 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like if anything, like maybe you 140 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: it's tricky because you propose, But like I would have said, 141 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: before you propose, if you have these feelings, take a break. Yeah, 142 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: see how you feel apart and then come back together. 143 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 3: Also, crap, I just had I just had a great thought. 144 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 1: It was about John had a great thought. 145 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 3: Here we go. 146 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 2: If you because people, you know, there are people that 147 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 2: practice like polyamorous relationships. If you were both not polyamorous 148 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 2: entering the relationship, that is probably a recipe for something 149 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 2: to go awy. 150 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: It's hard to switch it up. It's definitely hard to 151 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: people do it. Though people do it. 152 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 2: And you know again like if you both are polyamorous 153 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 2: going into it, that's like a completely different story. 154 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 3: Right. 155 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: But I actually, you know, I don't see a ton 156 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: of issue with at like say like, hey, is this 157 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: something you'd be open to? 158 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 3: I don't think so either. 159 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 1: But an issue if you're lying, Like if it's true 160 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: that he's looking for an out and has already cheated, yes, 161 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: massive move. Yeah, But to say like, hey, this is 162 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 1: something I've been feeling. What do you think, like, I 163 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: don't actually see that as bad. 164 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 2: I think I think it's it's it's I don't think 165 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 2: it's objectively bad, but it's like how the other just 166 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 2: how that? 167 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? Definitely, it definitely could weakend the relationship. 168 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and hurt the other person potentially their temperament. 169 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, but I don't think it's necessarily bad to 170 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 1: take a break and and you know, sow your wild 171 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,559 Speaker 1: outs and then realize the oats you wanted to sew 172 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 1: all the time that the whole time. We're back at home. 173 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: Uh oh wow, but there is an update. Oh boy, 174 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: the update isn't great. Oh god. We called off the 175 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: engagement and broke up. He swears up and down he 176 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: didn't do anything, but he confessed he brought it up 177 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 1: because he had a crush on someone and wanted to 178 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: try it out. Yikes, So a little bit of emotional 179 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: cheating going. I'd been staying at a friend's house for 180 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: a few days, trying to figure out what I wanted 181 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: to do. A lot of the people in the commons 182 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: were a huge help to me and helped me mentally prepare. 183 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: I appreciate a lot of you so much. I probably 184 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: wouldn't have gone through with it, but you guys pushed 185 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: me to ask more questions. I asked him what made 186 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: him start thinking about it, and at first he went 187 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: back to his experience bullshit. I told him, if he 188 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: wanted to experiment sexually, I would be more than happy 189 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: to try some things out, and I wasn't going to 190 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 1: be accepting that as an answer. After a while, he 191 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: caved in and admitted that a girl who works at 192 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: a coffee shopp he visits often asked him for his number, 193 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: and that's when he started to think about it. I 194 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 1: was heartbroken and angry, to say the least. He said 195 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 1: that if we had gotten into an open relationship, people 196 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: we knew would be off limits. He said she didn't 197 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 1: count as somebody knew because he wasn't friends with her 198 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: and she was still technically a stranger. Of course, I 199 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: told him he did know her, he goes there almost 200 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 1: every day and she's very friendly with us. But either way, 201 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: it didn't matter because he had already told me there 202 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: was no one he had in mind. He lied to me. MM, yeah, yeah, 203 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,959 Speaker 1: it is. It's a lie. 204 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 3: Smart line of questioning. 205 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 1: It's a lie. Yeah, it's a lie. Yeah. After some 206 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: more arguing, crying from both of us, he told me, 207 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: if I didn't want the open relationship, then just say 208 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,679 Speaker 1: no and we could move on from this. He was 209 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: basically begging me not to talk about it anymore. He 210 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,679 Speaker 1: just wanted to move on. I told him it wasn't 211 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: easy because I straight up do not trust him anymore. 212 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: As far as I know, he could have already experimented 213 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 1: with her, which I feel like that's a little bit 214 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: of a leap. 215 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 2: She's probably very like this whole thing, it seems has 216 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 2: made her very insecure. 217 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, he's speak out of security. 218 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: But I don't think it's like like, I just I don't, 219 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: you know, I don't think it's a bad thing to 220 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: I I just don't think it's a necessarily a bad 221 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: thing to ask for an open relationship. I wonder what 222 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,079 Speaker 1: the Reddit comments are. Yeah, I don't think it's I 223 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: don't think it. I don't feel like you're crossing any boundaries. 224 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: I feel like you're being respectful. Has to be brought 225 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: up in the right way of. 226 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 2: Yes, objectively, I agree with you. I don't think there's 227 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 2: anything necessarily wrong. It is all about the temperament of 228 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,560 Speaker 2: the other person. 229 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. He said he would never go to that coffee 230 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: place again, and if he saw her, he would ignore her. 231 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 1: I told him he could see other people. I just 232 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't be in the picture. He got frantic and asked 233 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 1: me if I was breaking up with him. I said yes, wow. 234 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: I told him a year from now, or even a 235 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: couple of years from now, after he gets all his 236 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 1: quote unquote experience out of his system, and if I'm 237 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: still single and interested, we can try again. From the beginning, 238 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 1: no engagement. I personally don't see us getting back together, 239 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,559 Speaker 1: but he was crying and clinging on to me. Honestly, 240 00:11:55,640 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 1: I'm disgusted. I'm mostly sad, though heartbroken, pissed off, lost, confused, anxious. 241 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: We had our whole life planned out and ready for us, 242 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: and it got ruined by a stupid, effing crush He 243 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 1: had the nerve to ask to try out because of 244 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,679 Speaker 1: lack of experience. I'm heading out in a bit to 245 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: get drunk with some girlfriends. I know a few people 246 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: wanted an update. Sorry, it wasn't very happy. Thank you 247 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: for all the advice. Dang, it's over. 248 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 3: It's over. 249 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 1: But I don't know like I think that brings up 250 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 1: a good question like what would you and we kind 251 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: of answered a little bit before, but what would you 252 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,480 Speaker 1: do if you if your significant other asked for an 253 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: open relationship? Because I know, I know some people it's 254 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,319 Speaker 1: hard to take it a good way honestly, the person, 255 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 1: like the person receiving it. I think it would be 256 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,560 Speaker 1: pretty hard not to have your relationship falter. But I 257 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: don't necessarily see it as like a moral failing. Yeah, 258 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: I just see it as like in terms of preserving 259 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: the strength of relationship. Yeah, probably not a good move. 260 00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, again, I think if like if someone hasn't, uh, 261 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 2: it just makes so much more sense if you're polyamorous 262 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 2: going into the relationship mid relationship. That's where it's I 263 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 2: I'm sure, I'm sure people have done it, of course, 264 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 2: but like we'll think about all a swinger couple of things. 265 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 2: You were married for forty years and then you're like, hey, 266 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 2: like Jill and Joel looking like a snack. Uh oh, 267 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that Yeah, No, I agree with that. 268 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 2: I don't objectively think there's anything wrong with that per se. 269 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's just it's just one of those things 270 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 2: that it's just so hard not to take personally because 271 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 2: what do you instantly do You're like, what do I 272 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 2: have that's not yeah? 273 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? 274 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 3: Why am I yeah? Yeah? 275 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 2: So it's like it's it's maybe there's a way, but 276 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 2: I can't think of a way to like propose that 277 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 2: without that kind of being in the in the air. 278 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like I mean a way you could 279 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 1: maybe do it, And it's it's tricky, but it's like 280 00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: you could you like, like a threesome is closer right 281 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: where it's like, hey, I want to like, would you 282 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 1: be interested in you know, doing doing this together as 283 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: an experience, But yeah. 284 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 2: It doesn't feel less uh less of an impact maybe 285 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 2: maybe because it's like more. 286 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: Like this person together. 287 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what it's like, not really logical 288 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,080 Speaker 2: per se, but like it's some It's one of those 289 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 2: things that just like feels like it's. 290 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 1: Still it would still be tough. It's a big it's 291 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 1: a big ask, but especially because the default for a 292 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: lot of these relationship is monogamy exactly right, And so 293 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 1: if you're asking for something that isn't monogamy, and for 294 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 1: someone who has like pretty I think a lot of 295 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 1: people with their relationship me included, Like I would say, 296 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: I have pretty uh standard feelings about what a monogamous 297 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 1: relationshipship like, based on my upbringing, my parents, whatever, So 298 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 1: I think it would be pretty hard for me to 299 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 1: get on board. You disgust me. Yeah, I have seven 300 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 1: partners right now, just kidding, But I would be very 301 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: curious what everyone else thinks. Yes, because this is get 302 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 1: I don't know if there's necessarily a right answer. 303 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 3: I don't think so. 304 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: But there are multiple answers. All we want to know 305 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: because we love hearing answers from you guys. 306 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 2: Oh we do. Speaking of hearing answers from all of 307 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 2: you beautiful people, we have been reading comments from our 308 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 2: beautiful public subscribers. 309 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: They're so beautiful. They're so beautiful. 310 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 3: I'm much as read one right now, let's do it. 311 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 2: This is the story where OPI accidentally insults her future 312 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:37,239 Speaker 2: dodder in law's infertility. This comment comes from public subscriber 313 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 2: Piccolo Johnson. The daughter in law is pining for sympathy. 314 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 2: She knows dang well, her mother in law didn't know, 315 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 2: and her initial reaction was on called for and the 316 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 2: aftermath of it being blown out of proportion. I wouldn't 317 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 2: be surprised if the dodder in law didn't twist it 318 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 2: to gain more sympathy, Kane Lovick says, unless she's lying, 319 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 2: OPI didn't know about her daughter in law's infertility at 320 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 2: the time, there was no shaming. There was sympathy plus understanding. 321 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 2: I think in law might be trying to be controlling 322 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 2: and cut off sun from OPI. 323 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:04,080 Speaker 3: You know, we always we. 324 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 2: Always get strong opinions from our beloved fans, and we 325 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 2: love them and we love them, so drop someone this one. 326 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 3: We might just read them. We'll see in the next one. 327 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 1: Can't quit my job if I'm taking my uniform, well, 328 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: I guess I'm leaving naked. I mean, that's the ultimate protest, 329 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 1: ultimate protest. That's a naked protest. Baby. 330 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 2: I've heard of a big bear at all. I've heard 331 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 2: of a picket sign, but a picket dick. 332 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: Big a dick. Pick you a dick. 333 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 3: We got all. 334 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 2: Kinds shapsis step right up, pick a dick. 335 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 1: Just so. Back when I was a teenager, around fourteen 336 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: years old, I worked for the shop down the road 337 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 1: as their weekend baker quote unquote, which mainly was just 338 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 1: defrosting pre cooked items or browning pre cooked bread in 339 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: the oven. Yeah. My boss's daughter also worked there as 340 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 1: a checkout staff. However, she would just call in six 341 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 1: slash hungover every weekend. So of course her dad would 342 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: let her off the hook and make me cover her shift. 343 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: So I would work five am to seven pm most weekends. 344 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 1: That's seven hours. That's crazy, geez. Bro. After a couple 345 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,679 Speaker 1: of years, I decided I was quitting and gave them 346 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 1: two weeks notice. All right, respect yourself, over you go. 347 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: My boss asked me to stay an extra week to 348 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 1: train the new weekend baker, which I agreed to. At 349 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 1: the end of the third week, I went into my 350 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: boss's office and did the usual, well, it's been so 351 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: great working with you, to which he replies, so OPI 352 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,199 Speaker 1: the extra week you work to train the new baker 353 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: means you have been here two years, which means, according 354 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,880 Speaker 1: to policy, you need to work four week's notice instead. 355 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 1: So I'll see you next week. 356 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 2: What kind of rule is that that? That sounds like 357 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 2: complete bs to me, completely. 358 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 1: Be made up. 359 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 2: Also, bro, he's like he's fourteen. This is the most 360 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 2: like adult, you know. He's like, yeah, you know, I'm 361 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 2: going and giving the old the handshake, and you know 362 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 2: sign off and I'm like, bru at fourteen, I was like, 363 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 2: I don't know what I was doing, but I was 364 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 2: doing that. 365 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,119 Speaker 1: I was quitting on the spot. Also, you need to 366 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 1: give us back your uniform on your last shift, and 367 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: it needs to be freshly cleaned. Wow, rude. No. Being 368 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,280 Speaker 1: a petulant teenager who was tired of waking up at 369 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,199 Speaker 1: four am, I stared at him in disbelief for a 370 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 1: couple of seconds, waiting for the shit eating grin on 371 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,439 Speaker 1: his face to laugh and say, just kidding, I have 372 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 1: a good one, and the moment didn't come. What an 373 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: asshole do, dude? It's like, this is like a kid, 374 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: This is a kid. 375 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 3: God. 376 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: So I walked out of the office, stripped down to 377 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 1: my boxers, folded up my Baker's whites, my trousers and 378 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 1: even my little mesh fedora on top, walked into his 379 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: office again and dropped the uniform on his desk and 380 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: walked home. He followed me, dude, what a saturbude? So 381 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 1: to you, that is like the most ballsy move of 382 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:02,399 Speaker 1: all time. Big dude, respect, big respect. He followed me 383 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,119 Speaker 1: down the stairs and through the shop, shouting about how 384 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:10,120 Speaker 1: I would never work anywhere again. Yeah, does this guy 385 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 1: have like a street cred or something? 386 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know you're you're you're gonna go to 387 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 2: like Merrill Lynch as I'm like becoming an investment baker, 388 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 2: Like no, no, stop. 389 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 1: It now, thinking back, that must have been a strange 390 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: thing for customers to see. It was a ten minute 391 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: home walk in the summer sun. Nothing arduous, apparently, according 392 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,119 Speaker 1: to his daughter, who got back in touch with me 393 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 1: a couple of years later, I'm now one of the 394 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 1: stories my old boss tells people when he's had a 395 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 1: few drinks. Not in a nice funny story way, though. 396 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 2: Do this it? Like, first of all, this kid is like, bro, 397 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 2: he must have been had like so much money relatively, 398 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 2: Like he's working like crazy shifts every single weekend. 399 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 1: Fourteen in san An's balling out. What can you even 400 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: buy at fourteen? Can't buy a car? 401 00:19:59,000 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 3: No? 402 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 2: Well, like uh ps, five games? 403 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 3: I don't know, maggat shoes, clothes, there's. 404 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can find a way. I never spent money 405 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: when I was a kid. I guess tell you. I 406 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,880 Speaker 1: did get like software for editing, but that's like about it. 407 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 2: Wow, respect, I did not. I was like Windows movie 408 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 2: maker here we go. 409 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think I bought computer stuff because 410 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 1: I was freaking nerd. 411 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 3: That's hey, honestly, look nerd, Nerds win. 412 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: Hey, nerds walk at us now, look at us now thrones. 413 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,239 Speaker 1: But I'm thinking about I'm already thinking about, like how 414 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: to redecorate the new room that I'm moving in. I'm 415 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: planning on moving rooms, getting my own room, that's right. 416 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: I want to get the bust of Beethoven, the bust 417 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 1: of beethoveah somewhere in there. Yeah, I think that would 418 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: be cool. 419 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 3: Go for it, very very classical. 420 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,159 Speaker 1: I also want to get rid of the popcorn ceiling. 421 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:55,159 Speaker 3: Really. 422 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate it. 423 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I literally could not care less. I I hate 424 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 2: looking at it. 425 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: It sucks. 426 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 3: I actually kind of like looking at it. 427 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: No, it's the worst. It's so bad. I want to 428 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,160 Speaker 1: scrape it all off. You want to scrape it off? 429 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: Why is it insulation? I think it actually helps with 430 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 1: fire and it also is noise reducing, I. 431 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 2: Believe, knowing actually, no, like I was gonna say, like, 432 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 2: you're gonna like scrape it off and then there's gonna 433 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 2: be like a fire in the apartment. But knowing you, guys, 434 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 2: it'll like you a fire will start and then it'll 435 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 2: literally like almost get to the roof and then some 436 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,679 Speaker 2: like a ukulele full of water will spill. Yes, and 437 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 2: that is exactly the whole the whole fire, hopefully, hopefully. 438 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 2: I've watched I've watched this, this crew of scoundrels, literally 439 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,959 Speaker 2: five grown men jumping up and down at like two 440 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 2: thirty in the morning, and I'm like, how the guys 441 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 2: get away with it? It's the popcorn ceiling. I guess 442 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 2: it's the popcorn ceilings. That's the way I have to 443 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 2: keep it. 444 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: Now. Yeah, well, maybe I'll keep it in the living room, 445 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,120 Speaker 1: but just not like a few like because my room 446 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 1: currently doesn't have a popcorn ceiling. Interesting, but Brandon's room does, 447 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 1: well or power to you with my friend now