Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
Speaker 1: is How Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hi everybody,
Speaker 1: I'm David Lasher. I'm very excited to be hosting How
Speaker 1: Men Think. Um, I'm honored to be here. Uh. You
Speaker 1: may know me as a longtime actor from shows like
Speaker 1: Sabrina the Teenage which Blossom, Beverly Hills nine O two
Speaker 1: and oh, and if you were between the ages of
Speaker 1: eight and twelve, in might know the Nickelodeon show Hey Dude,
Speaker 1: which has a surprisingly loyal fan base. Um, and also
Speaker 1: feature films like Ridley Scott's White Squall Um. But more recently,
Speaker 1: I'm a writer, producer, director, and I'm really happy to
Speaker 1: be here. I'm gonna be answering all your questions and
Speaker 1: I will try and help you understand how Men Think?
Speaker 1: Uh if I even understand it myself. But first, here's
Speaker 1: a list of eleven questions. Let's get into it. What
Speaker 1: are you known for? Tell us about yourself? Uh, I
Speaker 1: guess you know. Uh. Not to repeat myself, but I
Speaker 1: was an actor for many, many years. I started when
Speaker 1: I was in high school. My first show was the
Speaker 1: Nickelodeon series Hey Dude, where I played Ted and it
Speaker 1: was a lot of like physical comedy. Um, My first
Speaker 1: real networks had come aside from pilots and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: That that was a hit show was called Blossom, where
Speaker 1: I played uh Blossom's boyfriend Vinny for three seasons. UM.
Speaker 1: I had a nice little run on Beverly Hills nine
Speaker 1: O two one oh the original playing Kyle um and uh,
Speaker 1: like I said, many TV movies, films like White Squall
Speaker 1: for Ridley Scott and uh. More recently, I'm a writer, producer, director.
Speaker 1: I I co wrote and directed a film that's very
Speaker 1: personal to personal to me called Sister, starring Grace Kaufman
Speaker 1: and Read Scott and Barbara Hershey. Um that we premiered
Speaker 1: at Tribeca Film Festival and we sold to the Showtime
Speaker 1: Networks for two years and is currently on Apple TV.
Speaker 1: UM and uh, I like to also be known for being, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, a husband and a dad. I have three
Speaker 1: kids and I've been married since uh, so that those
Speaker 1: roles to me are uh most important. Mm hmm. Who
Speaker 1: are you in your personal life? My personal life? Like
Speaker 1: I said, I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a
Speaker 1: tennis player, I'm a hiker. I'm a skier. I'm a
Speaker 1: very active person. Um, but in my personal life, there's
Speaker 1: nothing I would rather be doing than hanging with my
Speaker 1: kids and my wife. Um. Three shows you are binge watching? Uh,
Speaker 1: my wife and I just finished inventing Anna, and wow,
Speaker 1: I can't believe that's a true story. And the girl
Speaker 1: who plays Anna, who's also in Ozark, is off the
Speaker 1: charts amazing. What is your favorite food? By far? It's
Speaker 1: sushi and specifically sugarfish here in l A where chef
Speaker 1: nos Aware where O g s from his original Um,
Speaker 1: and the fish and the rice and the seaweed and
Speaker 1: there was sabi are not to be matched anywhere. Tell
Speaker 1: us about your career. So yeah, like I said, acting
Speaker 1: went very smoothly for like twenty years, and then I
Speaker 1: found myself coming up kind of young to play my
Speaker 1: own age, you know, the lawyer, the dad, the cop um.
Speaker 1: So at some point, uh, you know, a number of
Speaker 1: years ago, I started writing and directing, and uh wrote
Speaker 1: a feature film based on ideas and characters from my
Speaker 1: life called Sister, Uh, like I said, which we were
Speaker 1: lucky enough to get into Tribeca, and people like Jane
Speaker 1: Rosenthal and Robert de ni are really championed it UM
Speaker 1: and more recently, I've been doing UM work for Group
Speaker 1: nine Media, a company that lets me tell stories with
Speaker 1: brands attached that are organically integrated into the stories. UM
Speaker 1: also have a feature film script that I finished the
Speaker 1: rewrite yesterday that I'm very excited about. What's your biggest
Speaker 1: fear in life? My children's safety. UM. I have a
Speaker 1: daughter that's in college in New Orleans at two Lane.
Speaker 1: I have a junior in high school, my son, who
Speaker 1: they both drive, and UH, I gotta tell you, when
Speaker 1: your kids start driving, it's like always on your mind,
Speaker 1: and it never leaves my mind when he is on
Speaker 1: his way to Magic Mountain and he's driving his friends
Speaker 1: until I get a text from him that he got
Speaker 1: there safely. I it's it's it's my biggest worry, my
Speaker 1: biggest pet peeve. Okay. One thing I really dislike, for
Speaker 1: some strange reason is when someone calls you and you
Speaker 1: don't pick up and they call you right back immediately.
Speaker 1: I just don't get that, did they think you didn't
Speaker 1: see the first call? Is it an emergency because it
Speaker 1: usually isn't. It's usually a friend that just needs UH
Speaker 1: to talk to you. And it bugs the hell out
Speaker 1: of me. Um, what makes you the most happy? Honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I despite sounding cliche, there are moments
Speaker 1: where my kids and I are on the beach or
Speaker 1: we're all skiing together, which we just got back from
Speaker 1: all five of us, and I'm just so grateful for
Speaker 1: the moment of peace together, safety together. And I it's
Speaker 1: never lost on me two to be with my kids
Speaker 1: and my wife, uh, somewhere that we love, whether it's
Speaker 1: the beach or skiing or you know, doing something um
Speaker 1: that makes us all happy together. H is really is
Speaker 1: what makes me the most happy. What is your ideal
Speaker 1: Saturday morning? Well, that depends if it's football season or not.
Speaker 1: Because my son, Casey and I have our own fantasy
Speaker 1: football teams. We share a fantasy football team. Um, and
Speaker 1: I'll go get bagels. I actually go to one place
Speaker 1: for bagels, uh, separate place for the locks and the
Speaker 1: tuna salad um, and another place for coffee. And then
Speaker 1: we come back and we watch you know, the direct
Speaker 1: TV uh package and just scrolled from game to game. Um. Otherwise,
Speaker 1: I love to hike by my house this this high
Speaker 1: called Framing Canyon. I love going to my kids uh
Speaker 1: uh athletic games. My my daughter Chelsea is a soccer player,
Speaker 1: My son Casey is uh captain of his varsity basketball team,
Speaker 1: and I, I mean, I really I look forward to
Speaker 1: their games because they're at an asia now where they're
Speaker 1: really exciting. Tan. Are you more of the athlete or
Speaker 1: the armshare quarterback? Well, I played with my kids all
Speaker 1: different sports from tennis, football, soccer when they were younger,
Speaker 1: But now I think I'm more of an armchair quarterback
Speaker 1: because they've outgrown me and they have real coaches. So
Speaker 1: I'm in my you know, my little foldable armchair watching
Speaker 1: them and trying to think, you know, how any notes
Speaker 1: I could give them, while also being encouraging and telling
Speaker 1: them how much fun it was just to watch them.
Speaker 1: But I'm definitely now more of an armchair quarterback. But
Speaker 1: I do play tennis twice a week. What keeps you motivated?
Speaker 1: What keeps you more? You know? What I think keeps
Speaker 1: me motivated, Aside from my wife and my family and
Speaker 1: I want them to be proud of me and always
Speaker 1: moving forward and trying new things and taking risks, is
Speaker 1: also my friends and my community and surrounding myself with
Speaker 1: people that are doing interesting things. And inspire me and
Speaker 1: bring out the best in me. UM. So I think
Speaker 1: the people you surround yourself in your life or can
Speaker 1: be a great motivating factor. Okay, so those were the
Speaker 1: eleven questions, and We're gonna take a quick break and
Speaker 1: I'll come back and answer some of your q and
Speaker 1: a s. Hi Jennifer, Hi, how's it going good? How
Speaker 1: are you good? I have a question about my husband. UM.
Speaker 1: We've been together for four years now and UM, we
Speaker 1: have two kids, two young babies three months and six months,
Speaker 1: so you can imagine how tired where we are. UM,
Speaker 1: and I just feel like we're both were we are
Speaker 1: like a great team together and everything and everything is
Speaker 1: seems like it's going well except for you know, our
Speaker 1: intimate life. Do you know what I mean? Uh, we're
Speaker 1: both just very tired. And every time we do go
Speaker 1: to bed, he just rolls over, which I understand. UM.
Speaker 1: And you know, I've asked him about a date night
Speaker 1: and we don't really have the time, and I feel
Speaker 1: like he doesn't make the time, but I would really
Speaker 1: like to explore that. And I just I need help
Speaker 1: finding the spark again with him, and I'm not really
Speaker 1: sure what to do. Well, first, of all, give yourselves
Speaker 1: a break because you're in you're in the weeds right
Speaker 1: now as far as the ages of your kids, so
Speaker 1: that everything you're looking for, I promise you will come back.
Speaker 1: So the first thing I would say is give yourself
Speaker 1: a break and accept that there's gonna be a lull.
Speaker 1: But as far as a date night or intimacy, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe you take the initiative and say we're doing this.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go, you know, like I got tickets to
Speaker 1: go see Eddie Vetter or the other you know a
Speaker 1: few months a month ago or two months ago, you know,
Speaker 1: because of COVID, we hadn't gone, we hadn't seen music
Speaker 1: in years, and I just said, we're going to do this. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, the kids will be fine. We're gonna go
Speaker 1: see Eddie Vetter at YouTube Theater and uh, we're gonna
Speaker 1: have dinner first. And UM, I think at least if
Speaker 1: if one of you makes it a priority, Um, the
Speaker 1: other person should you know, be grateful. I think, um,
Speaker 1: but it takes an effort, and then you know, maybe
Speaker 1: you could push him next time to you know what,
Speaker 1: come come up with something for me. Doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be tomorrow, doesn't have to be next week, but just
Speaker 1: surprised me with something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like I said,
Speaker 1: enjoy these times because the kids grow up so fast
Speaker 1: and it takes away from your from your relationship and
Speaker 1: your intimacy. But there there are really special times about
Speaker 1: what you're going through. And just know that you guys
Speaker 1: will have each other in the coming years. It will
Speaker 1: all come back, I promise. Oh I hope. So thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I um, I'm just worried about him
Speaker 1: saying he's too tired to go, but I guess in
Speaker 1: that case, I just say, nope, we're doing this for us.
Speaker 1: I insist. Yeah, if you make a gesture, he's got
Speaker 1: to go. Yeah, all right, well I will do that,
Speaker 1: all right. Good luck, Emily, thanks for calling. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Bye, Hi Sarah. Hi. Um. So recently a
Speaker 1: co worker of mine has been super flirty and giving
Speaker 1: me a lot of attention at work, and he even
Speaker 1: sometimes sends me flirty texts after work hour. And you know,
Speaker 1: I've been married for fifteen years and I have to
Speaker 1: admit that this new attention feels good. And I just
Speaker 1: wonder am I in the wrong to flirt back? As
Speaker 1: long as nothing happens physically. Oh, I don't like this
Speaker 1: guy already. I'll tell you that right now. Why Because
Speaker 1: he's flirting and he knows I'm married. Yeah. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: takes a certain kind of guy to do that. That's
Speaker 1: to me, that's a red flag about him. But I
Speaker 1: get it. I get it. I've been married for some
Speaker 1: twenty two years. M h. And I think one thing
Speaker 1: that's been a pillar of our marriage, uh is the
Speaker 1: trust issue. M hm. You know my wife goes on
Speaker 1: girls trips. I go. We you know, we separate and
Speaker 1: we have separate lives because we know there's no no
Speaker 1: cause for jealousy or any of that type of stuff.
Speaker 1: And when you start playing with that fire, you know,
Speaker 1: you could say nothing's happening. But if he found out,
Speaker 1: would it upset him? Maybe that's the question. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it probably would. I think you're right. I mean,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't like it if somebody was doing that with
Speaker 1: him exactly exactly. I know it feels good and maybe
Speaker 1: it's flattering. I mean I have to admit it. Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: so now you you know you're still got it, you
Speaker 1: know you're still attractive. Now, yeah, let your let your
Speaker 1: husband enjoy that. Yeah. I think that's that's good advice.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, thanks for calling. I'll try. Thank you. Hi, Alex, Hi,
Speaker 1: what's on your mind? Okay? Um, So the thing is
Speaker 1: my husband and his sister are really close, but there's
Speaker 1: this thing that like keeps happening. So I'll suggest a
Speaker 1: show to him, like a show to watch or a
Speaker 1: restaurant to try, and he'll always be like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: not for me, or I won't like it, and then
Speaker 1: his sister will like tell him about the show or
Speaker 1: like name the same restaurant that I already told him about,
Speaker 1: and then he'll like, oh, I've never heard of that.
Speaker 1: That sounds great. I'll try it right away. And it
Speaker 1: just kind of drives me crazy that like he'll value his,
Speaker 1: like her opinion more than mine. And I just don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm overreacting or if I'm not. How do
Speaker 1: I approach this, because like he'll get protective of his
Speaker 1: sister and I just don't know what to do. That's
Speaker 1: so funny because I I, my wife and I have
Speaker 1: the same sort of conversations about my sister, who you know,
Speaker 1: it's like my best friend and she's two years younger
Speaker 1: than me, and My wife always say, why, how come
Speaker 1: when Lauren suggests this, you take it to heart and
Speaker 1: you overlook it when I when I suggest it, Um,
Speaker 1: I think it's you know, it's pretty normal, you know,
Speaker 1: the the sibling bond is like something that's unique, and
Speaker 1: his sister probably you know, you know, knows his taste
Speaker 1: and they have like a short form communication. But I, yeah,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be jealous of of a sibling relationship because
Speaker 1: I know just how how rare the that is. You know,
Speaker 1: to to really have a strong relationship with a with
Speaker 1: a sibling, it can only it only be a positive. Um. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna only child, so I don't really know
Speaker 1: what that's like. But I just think when you're married,
Speaker 1: that's like when you choose your family as so shouldn't
Speaker 1: my opinion matter more? Now if your opinions being completely overlooked, Yes, absolutely, Um,
Speaker 1: But I I would just I would steer clear of
Speaker 1: being trying not to be jealous of your husband's relationship
Speaker 1: with his sister because it's no threat to you. Um,
Speaker 1: but if he's disregarding you, know, your opinions and your thoughts,
Speaker 1: that's a separate issue. Yeah, it's hard to tell whether
Speaker 1: I'm like just taking it personally or or if it's
Speaker 1: like valid. I don't know, but you're you're saying it's
Speaker 1: something to worry about. Yeah, I think there's there are
Speaker 1: two separate issues. I think you need to uh allow
Speaker 1: him his relationship with his sister, which is no threat
Speaker 1: to you, and maybe you know he they have similar
Speaker 1: tastes and TV or whatever whatever it is. But if
Speaker 1: he's if he's disregarding you know, your thoughts and your
Speaker 1: opinions on things, that's a separate issue that I would
Speaker 1: not attach to any jealousy to his relationship with his sister,
Speaker 1: because you're not gonna look good and there's really no
Speaker 1: leg to stand on for that, you know, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, let him have a close relationship
Speaker 1: with his sister and then deal with you know, if
Speaker 1: he happens to be pushing you aside and your thoughts
Speaker 1: and your opinions aside, deal with that on its own. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll try. I'll try to separate the two things.
Speaker 1: You got a good luck with it, thank you. I
Speaker 1: shall be Hi. What's up? Uh? So my fiance and
Speaker 1: I are getting married in December and he won't set
Speaker 1: up and help with the planning. Um, my friends think
Speaker 1: that this is like a dream scenario, But I really
Speaker 1: need his help and I'm super busy with traveling for work.
Speaker 1: And uh we already lost our favorite photographer because he
Speaker 1: never sent our deposit, which is really frustrating. So I
Speaker 1: guess how do I get him to set up, like
Speaker 1: to step up and help. Oh boy, if you do
Speaker 1: start to delegate uh decisions to him, I'm warning you
Speaker 1: now it might not be the wedding that you're expecting.
Speaker 1: But I understand you need some help with your Your
Speaker 1: time is valuable. Do you have family members, mom's, mother
Speaker 1: in law's, anyone else that could Yeah? I do, and
Speaker 1: they've been helping too. But I mean, I would like
Speaker 1: the person I'm marrying to have a say and to
Speaker 1: be part of the you know, the experience, and and
Speaker 1: give me some anything, I guess, you know, um, and
Speaker 1: not do things like uh, lose the photographer because he
Speaker 1: didn't send the deposit, like the one thing that he did. Um,
Speaker 1: and just be a little bit more interested, I guess,
Speaker 1: and proactive and in the journey. Yeah, I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: I I've been married for over twenty years. And that
Speaker 1: sounds like something I might have done back when I
Speaker 1: was engaged. And it has nothing to do with my
Speaker 1: love for my wife or the commitment we're making, or
Speaker 1: the profoundness of what you know of what our marriage means.
Speaker 1: It's I just didn't really care what the flowers look
Speaker 1: like or who was taking the pictures. The guest list
Speaker 1: I was very involved with, but like all the details,
Speaker 1: I I was just like, whatever you want, and like
Speaker 1: I said, we're still married. And my uh not disinterest,
Speaker 1: but my my, my, my lack of concern for all
Speaker 1: the details of the actual party had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with my love for my wife longevity of our marriage.
Speaker 1: It was really as long as our family and friends
Speaker 1: are there with us, I don't care where we are,
Speaker 1: Like I'll, you know, we'll we'll say our vows in
Speaker 1: front of the people that mean the most to us.
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm sorry if I don't care about who's
Speaker 1: the photographer, who what flowers or what meal is being served,
Speaker 1: I just, you know, I would leave that up to
Speaker 1: my wife. But if I'm just saying it, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: make more of it than that, because I'm you know,
Speaker 1: married for twenty years and I was pretty disinterested in
Speaker 1: the details of our wedding. Well, I guess that is
Speaker 1: inadvertently sweet if you think about it. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: it's to me, it's like the marriage. You're making a
Speaker 1: lifelong commitment, and so much stress and decision making and
Speaker 1: time goes into these details of a three hour party. It.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just I get it. And I've
Speaker 1: been to a lot of what beautiful weddings, and our
Speaker 1: wedding was amazing, but and I appreciated all the work
Speaker 1: that my wife did, but the important thing to me
Speaker 1: was the guest list who was there to witness us
Speaker 1: making our vows and then to party and celebrate with us. Uh,
Speaker 1: and what the tables of Like, I just didn't care.
Speaker 1: And yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1: So the solution, um, I guess would be too kind
Speaker 1: of just allow my my family and I to plan
Speaker 1: a little bit more. And and I guess I could
Speaker 1: ask him as well what parts he does care about
Speaker 1: and uh, and kind of go from there. I guess
Speaker 1: would be it would be a good way to approach it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, if you present him Okay, here's the table settings,
Speaker 1: here's the menu here's here's the band setlist, and then
Speaker 1: he perks up on what music is going to be played.
Speaker 1: Maybe he'll jump in and start, you know, jotting down
Speaker 1: songs for the band or the DJ. You know, like
Speaker 1: there's got to be something that perks his interest. But uh,
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's most focused on, you know, the step
Speaker 1: that you guys are taking together and that you're surrounded
Speaker 1: by people that love you, and that's really to me,
Speaker 1: that's that's what the night is about. Yeah for sure. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it seems more like a like a more of
Speaker 1: a i don't know, like a negotiation, trying to feel
Speaker 1: out what he is interested in doing and not kind
Speaker 1: of making him do what I think needs to be done. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like I said, if he's a guy that you love
Speaker 1: and you want to commit your life too, don't fight
Speaker 1: over play settings or his disinterest in that. It's just
Speaker 1: it doesn't make sense, you know, like think of the
Speaker 1: bigger picture and is this you know, this is the
Speaker 1: man you want to marry. You know, throw things in
Speaker 1: his way and give ask his opinion, and if he does,
Speaker 1: if he says it's up to you, don't do not
Speaker 1: get in a fight over that, before your wedding. Okay,
Speaker 1: well that's great advice. Alright, cool, good luck and congratulations,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I the other how are you
Speaker 1: over good? How are you? I am very good, having
Speaker 1: a nice hour with this podcast. Awesome. Well, UM, I
Speaker 1: would love your advice on something. Um. I it's just
Speaker 1: a little bit of background and started three years old.
Speaker 1: And UM, my boyfriend he wants to buy this new
Speaker 1: set of golf clubs, which I did not realize how
Speaker 1: expensive golf clubs were. Um, this set is costing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I had no idea the set costs around six thousand
Speaker 1: dollars and UM, you know, you know it's his money
Speaker 1: until I find Um. But we've been together for eight
Speaker 1: years now and I'm just dying for him to propose.
Speaker 1: And I just it's been a long time, and I
Speaker 1: worry that if he spends you know, that money on
Speaker 1: golf clubs, that means that a proposal in the rain
Speaker 1: or just even further away for me. Um. And you know,
Speaker 1: it's hard because I can't really tell him what to do.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, like it's been eight years, um,
Speaker 1: and I don't want him to feel pressured. But I
Speaker 1: also don't know how much longer I can wait. Um,
Speaker 1: And my my question is how do I how do
Speaker 1: I bring this up to him? How do I tell
Speaker 1: him that he should put that money towards the ring instead? Wow,
Speaker 1: that's a tricky situation. First of all six thousand dollar
Speaker 1: golf clubs. Is he a very good golfer? He is
Speaker 1: really really good? Okay, that's kind of things that really
Speaker 1: turns me out about him. I just don't know. I
Speaker 1: just don't. I didn't. I guess I don't realize how
Speaker 1: expensive the sport was. Um, And normally I wouldn't care,
Speaker 1: but I would love to have that ring on my finger. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1: So the first thing is if golf is an outlet
Speaker 1: for him and makes him happy, he's going to be
Speaker 1: a better partner for you. So you do get something
Speaker 1: out of it, you know. Um? But man, I remember
Speaker 1: my wife. I met her in New York and I
Speaker 1: lived in l A. We were a long distance for
Speaker 1: a year. She moved to l A after a year,
Speaker 1: and then I think after two years of living here,
Speaker 1: she asked me when we were getting get engaged, and
Speaker 1: I said, well, not anytime soon, and she burst into tears.
Speaker 1: And I remember when she kind of let go of
Speaker 1: that issue. Within six months, I became ready and proposed,
Speaker 1: but I didn't want her. I didn't want her to
Speaker 1: make me buy a ring, you know what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's what I worry about because I don't want
Speaker 1: to be you know that that girl that's like, you know,
Speaker 1: breathing down his neck of you know, when of your proposed.
Speaker 1: I want to get married, like he knows I want
Speaker 1: to get married. We talk about it. Obviously, we've begn
Speaker 1: for you know, eight years now, um, but you know,
Speaker 1: it's been a long time, and I don't know when
Speaker 1: it's going to happen. And you know, I just I
Speaker 1: worry that if he's putting his money towards that, that
Speaker 1: it's just going to be maybe it's just not even
Speaker 1: top of mind for him. It might be you might
Speaker 1: be miss misinterpreting it, but I wouldn't. I would separate
Speaker 1: the golf clubs from the issue of eight year relationship
Speaker 1: and where it's going. Don't don't don't say it's the
Speaker 1: golf clubs or me, you know, um, because that, yeah,
Speaker 1: that that's gonna convolute everything. But yeah, after eight years together,
Speaker 1: you have every right to tell him what you know,
Speaker 1: what you want out of life. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if you want to have kids or not or um
Speaker 1: start a family, but yeah, those are things that should
Speaker 1: be talked about at this point after eight years, and
Speaker 1: you have every right to bring it up and just
Speaker 1: ask him what he wants, what he wants out of life,
Speaker 1: what he wants out of this relationship and uh, and
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's getting to the point where you
Speaker 1: should start making decisions. And I'll tell you, men put
Speaker 1: off decisions like this for as long as they can um,
Speaker 1: and they like, they like when it's their decision. So
Speaker 1: if there's any way you can softly talk to him
Speaker 1: about what you want and what you're ready for, and
Speaker 1: you know, say it. Let's I hope it aligns with
Speaker 1: what you want and what you're ready for, and may
Speaker 1: maybe even make him think that you're not gonna wait
Speaker 1: much longer. But but I wouldn't give ultimatums. I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't tie it to his golf clubs and say,
Speaker 1: if you buy these golf clubs, it means you're not
Speaker 1: committed to me. I wouldn't. I wouldn't do any of that, Okay,
Speaker 1: so yes, and I would just have an honest conversation
Speaker 1: with him. I mean, he's you know, he's your friend too, Like,
Speaker 1: just talk to him about what you're feeling and say, I,
Speaker 1: I don't want to force you into anything. I want
Speaker 1: this to be your decision as much as mine. Just
Speaker 1: let me know honestly what you're thinking. Because it's been
Speaker 1: eight years. Yeah, yeah, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna try. How.
Speaker 1: I'm really anxious about it because you know, like you said,
Speaker 1: it is, it has been a long time, and I
Speaker 1: get fearful of what that how that conversation is going
Speaker 1: to go. But I know I have to have it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're honest and you're gentle with it, you know,
Speaker 1: not like accusatory with ultimatums, it can't go wrong. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, David. I appreciate it. All right, Taylor,
Speaker 1: good luck. All right. I want to thank everybody who
Speaker 1: called in. There were some really thoughtful questions and discussions.
Speaker 1: Um and uh, We're gonna go to a quick break
Speaker 1: and then I'll come back and answer some of the
Speaker 1: written questions. M h okay, So let's get into some
Speaker 1: of these written questions. Wow, uh, really interesting stuff here
Speaker 1: when talking about love there is the saying when you know,
Speaker 1: you know, do you believe this? What if there is
Speaker 1: no specific moment you feel this. That's a really great question.
Speaker 1: You know. People talk about love at first sight and
Speaker 1: when when I you know, I when I first met
Speaker 1: him I knew, or when I first met her, I
Speaker 1: just knew that was the woman I was gonna marry.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't believe in that. And I think
Speaker 1: that's a lot of pressure to put on young couples
Speaker 1: that they're supposed to be blown away by the person
Speaker 1: the first time they see them. That's not the start
Speaker 1: of any anything lasting or real. To me, Um, I look,
Speaker 1: there has to be um an attraction. There has to
Speaker 1: be uh things in common conversation. I mean, I remember
Speaker 1: speaking to my wife on the phone for hours that
Speaker 1: to me, you know, said everything. Um. But my love
Speaker 1: for her has grown and grown and grown into you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not only still attracted to her. She's
Speaker 1: the coolest girl I know still to this day. But
Speaker 1: she's the mother of my kids and she's still parties
Speaker 1: the right amount, loves live music and traveling, and like,
Speaker 1: we have grown into a much more meaningful love than
Speaker 1: anything somebody in like a fairy tale could say was
Speaker 1: the first time I saw her? This is what it was?
Speaker 1: Is so I I do not believe in that. I
Speaker 1: believe that you have starting points that are important, Like
Speaker 1: I said, a physical attraction, things in common. If you
Speaker 1: can speak long conversations together and laugh together, there's your
Speaker 1: building blocks, and then that can grow into something. Uh
Speaker 1: that this this uh person with the question is talking
Speaker 1: about when you know you know? No, I think it
Speaker 1: grows and grows. So recognize those building blocks, those things
Speaker 1: in common, the attraction um and uh, and don't hold
Speaker 1: yourself to some you know princess movie where you're supposed
Speaker 1: to be like, you know, shop with a cupid arrow
Speaker 1: the second you see someone that doesn't exist in my mind?
Speaker 1: What advice do you give your daughter about guys? Oh? Boy?
Speaker 1: Do you warn her about anything in today's dating world?
Speaker 1: You learn for yourself when you were younger. Who Um,
Speaker 1: my oldest daughter, Hannah is she's now a freshman in college.
Speaker 1: But she her first boyfriend, uh was I guess the
Speaker 1: end of her junior year in high school. And the
Speaker 1: boy was kind, respectful, very smart, hard working. Um. I
Speaker 1: I respect my daughter's judgment and if there comes a
Speaker 1: time where it strays or I don't I no longer
Speaker 1: trust it. I will have to think about this question
Speaker 1: more carefully. But I feel like you know, when you
Speaker 1: raise a child, you raise them to know a good
Speaker 1: person when they see a good person, to have good
Speaker 1: judgment when it comes to relationships and friendships. And if
Speaker 1: they're going astray, UM, I would have to, you know,
Speaker 1: jump in and give my opinion. But uh, I really
Speaker 1: trust the woman that she is, and if she likes
Speaker 1: a guy, I'm most likely going to like him as well.
Speaker 1: To this point, this may change at a later date.
Speaker 1: When men are quieter than usual, is this a sign
Speaker 1: something is wrong and they are just not telling us?
Speaker 1: M Quiet? Quiet can mean many different things. UM. I
Speaker 1: tend to get quiet in in a passive aggressive way
Speaker 1: to show my wife that I'm a set and it's terrible.
Speaker 1: It's a terrible sort of gaslighting of someone. It's so
Speaker 1: much healthier to just get your issues out there, deal
Speaker 1: with them, and move on. Um. But there are also
Speaker 1: guys that are just shy. So I don't know if
Speaker 1: you're in a if this is a longer term relationship
Speaker 1: and a guy who's usually outgoing and friendly suddenly becomes
Speaker 1: quieter than usual. It probably is something he's not telling you. Um,
Speaker 1: if it's someone you just started dating and he's just
Speaker 1: kind of quiet and shy, I wouldn't read into it
Speaker 1: as much. David, what was the hardest part of shooting
Speaker 1: into stardom at a young age? How did this affect
Speaker 1: your dating life? So? I think being an actor in
Speaker 1: my teens kind of sped up my dating life, if
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Because I met my wife when I
Speaker 1: was twenty three, and I had been living in l
Speaker 1: A since I graduated high school since seventeen, and I
Speaker 1: was by at at age twenty three, I was so
Speaker 1: ready to meet like the right kind of girl for me,
Speaker 1: you know. Not. I was over flings and whatever comes
Speaker 1: with being on a hit show at the time. I
Speaker 1: was over all of it after five or six years
Speaker 1: living in l A on my own. So I met
Speaker 1: my wife at twenty three, not because I was looking
Speaker 1: for marriage or any of that stuff. And I and
Speaker 1: I feel grateful that I met my wife at a
Speaker 1: time where I wasn't looking for it. I wasn't like
Speaker 1: desperate for it. I met her and just didn't want
Speaker 1: to be without her, and I was ready for something
Speaker 1: real and I feel like, you know, uh, having success
Speaker 1: as an actor at an early age got me to
Speaker 1: that point at an early age, which you know has
Speaker 1: led to you know, my beautiful family. And I'm I'm
Speaker 1: still somewhat of a young dad with kids that uh
Speaker 1: that are like my my buddies now. UM, So I
Speaker 1: think whatever it's called, shooting into stardom whatever at a
Speaker 1: young age kind of spread everything up for me. And
Speaker 1: at twenty three, I was ready to really find something,
Speaker 1: something meaningful, um, which I'm I'm really grateful for. I
Speaker 1: got like all that stuff out of my system between
Speaker 1: seventeen and twenty three. UM, and I've had a really
Speaker 1: beautiful relationship with my wife ever since. All Right, you
Speaker 1: you beautiful listeners, Thank you so much for for having
Speaker 1: me as your guest host on How Men Think. Um.
Speaker 1: The questions were incredibly thoughtful, uh and the conversations were
Speaker 1: really interesting to me. UM. You can follow me on
Speaker 1: Instagram or Twitter at at David Lasher. Um. You could
Speaker 1: follow our family at the Lasher family on TikTok, which
Speaker 1: is a family account, but my youngest daughter, Chelsea is
Speaker 1: the creative mastermind behind our TikTok account. At the Lasher family. UM,
Speaker 1: I have a comedy series on a new streaming service
Speaker 1: called the Fiicto app. It's called Cruisers and Shakers. And
Speaker 1: I have a film that has recently been launched on
Speaker 1: Apple TV called Sister, starring Grace Kaufman, who's also in
Speaker 1: Apple TV's new movie The Sky Is Everywhere. She's amazing,
Speaker 1: So check that out and check Sister out on Apple tv,
Speaker 1: and thank you again for having me. This is how
Speaker 1: men think. An I Heart Radio London audio production. Listen
Speaker 1: each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.