1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: is How Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hi everybody, 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: I'm David Lasher. I'm very excited to be hosting How 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: Men Think. Um, I'm honored to be here. Uh. You 5 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: may know me as a longtime actor from shows like 6 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: Sabrina the Teenage which Blossom, Beverly Hills nine O two 7 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: and oh, and if you were between the ages of 8 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 1: eight and twelve, in might know the Nickelodeon show Hey Dude, 9 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: which has a surprisingly loyal fan base. Um, and also 10 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: feature films like Ridley Scott's White Squall Um. But more recently, 11 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: I'm a writer, producer, director, and I'm really happy to 12 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: be here. I'm gonna be answering all your questions and 13 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: I will try and help you understand how Men Think? 14 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 1: Uh if I even understand it myself. But first, here's 15 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: a list of eleven questions. Let's get into it. What 16 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: are you known for? Tell us about yourself? Uh, I 17 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 1: guess you know. Uh. Not to repeat myself, but I 18 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: was an actor for many, many years. I started when 19 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: I was in high school. My first show was the 20 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: Nickelodeon series Hey Dude, where I played Ted and it 21 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: was a lot of like physical comedy. Um, My first 22 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: real networks had come aside from pilots and stuff like that. 23 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 1: That that was a hit show was called Blossom, where 24 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: I played uh Blossom's boyfriend Vinny for three seasons. UM. 25 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: I had a nice little run on Beverly Hills nine 26 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: O two one oh the original playing Kyle um and uh, 27 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 1: like I said, many TV movies, films like White Squall 28 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: for Ridley Scott and uh. More recently, I'm a writer, producer, director. 29 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: I I co wrote and directed a film that's very 30 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 1: personal to personal to me called Sister, starring Grace Kaufman 31 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 1: and Read Scott and Barbara Hershey. Um that we premiered 32 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: at Tribeca Film Festival and we sold to the Showtime 33 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: Networks for two years and is currently on Apple TV. 34 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: UM and uh, I like to also be known for being, uh, 35 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,799 Speaker 1: you know, a husband and a dad. I have three 36 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: kids and I've been married since uh, so that those 37 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: roles to me are uh most important. Mm hmm. Who 38 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: are you in your personal life? My personal life? Like 39 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: I said, I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a 40 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: tennis player, I'm a hiker. I'm a skier. I'm a 41 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: very active person. Um, but in my personal life, there's 42 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: nothing I would rather be doing than hanging with my 43 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: kids and my wife. Um. Three shows you are binge watching? Uh, 44 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: my wife and I just finished inventing Anna, and wow, 45 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: I can't believe that's a true story. And the girl 46 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: who plays Anna, who's also in Ozark, is off the 47 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: charts amazing. What is your favorite food? By far? It's 48 00:03:54,960 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: sushi and specifically sugarfish here in l A where chef 49 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: nos Aware where O g s from his original Um, 50 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: and the fish and the rice and the seaweed and 51 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: there was sabi are not to be matched anywhere. Tell 52 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: us about your career. So yeah, like I said, acting 53 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:27,599 Speaker 1: went very smoothly for like twenty years, and then I 54 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: found myself coming up kind of young to play my 55 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: own age, you know, the lawyer, the dad, the cop um. 56 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: So at some point, uh, you know, a number of 57 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 1: years ago, I started writing and directing, and uh wrote 58 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: a feature film based on ideas and characters from my 59 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:57,239 Speaker 1: life called Sister, Uh, like I said, which we were 60 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: lucky enough to get into Tribeca, and people like Jane 61 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: Rosenthal and Robert de ni are really championed it UM 62 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: and more recently, I've been doing UM work for Group 63 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: nine Media, a company that lets me tell stories with 64 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: brands attached that are organically integrated into the stories. UM 65 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: also have a feature film script that I finished the 66 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 1: rewrite yesterday that I'm very excited about. What's your biggest 67 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: fear in life? My children's safety. UM. I have a 68 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: daughter that's in college in New Orleans at two Lane. 69 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: I have a junior in high school, my son, who 70 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: they both drive, and UH, I gotta tell you, when 71 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: your kids start driving, it's like always on your mind, 72 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: and it never leaves my mind when he is on 73 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: his way to Magic Mountain and he's driving his friends 74 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: until I get a text from him that he got 75 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 1: there safely. I it's it's it's my biggest worry, my 76 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: biggest pet peeve. Okay. One thing I really dislike, for 77 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: some strange reason is when someone calls you and you 78 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 1: don't pick up and they call you right back immediately. 79 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,599 Speaker 1: I just don't get that, did they think you didn't 80 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: see the first call? Is it an emergency because it 81 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: usually isn't. It's usually a friend that just needs UH 82 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 1: to talk to you. And it bugs the hell out 83 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: of me. Um, what makes you the most happy? Honestly, 84 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. I despite sounding cliche, there are moments 85 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: where my kids and I are on the beach or 86 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: we're all skiing together, which we just got back from 87 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: all five of us, and I'm just so grateful for 88 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 1: the moment of peace together, safety together. And I it's 89 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: never lost on me two to be with my kids 90 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: and my wife, uh, somewhere that we love, whether it's 91 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: the beach or skiing or you know, doing something um 92 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: that makes us all happy together. H is really is 93 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: what makes me the most happy. What is your ideal 94 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: Saturday morning? Well, that depends if it's football season or not. 95 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: Because my son, Casey and I have our own fantasy 96 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: football teams. We share a fantasy football team. Um, and 97 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: I'll go get bagels. I actually go to one place 98 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: for bagels, uh, separate place for the locks and the 99 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: tuna salad um, and another place for coffee. And then 100 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: we come back and we watch you know, the direct 101 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: TV uh package and just scrolled from game to game. Um. Otherwise, 102 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: I love to hike by my house this this high 103 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 1: called Framing Canyon. I love going to my kids uh 104 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: uh athletic games. My my daughter Chelsea is a soccer player, 105 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: My son Casey is uh captain of his varsity basketball team, 106 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: and I, I mean, I really I look forward to 107 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: their games because they're at an asia now where they're 108 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: really exciting. Tan. Are you more of the athlete or 109 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: the armshare quarterback? Well, I played with my kids all 110 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: different sports from tennis, football, soccer when they were younger, 111 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: But now I think I'm more of an armchair quarterback 112 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: because they've outgrown me and they have real coaches. So 113 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: I'm in my you know, my little foldable armchair watching 114 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: them and trying to think, you know, how any notes 115 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,839 Speaker 1: I could give them, while also being encouraging and telling 116 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: them how much fun it was just to watch them. 117 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: But I'm definitely now more of an armchair quarterback. But 118 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,679 Speaker 1: I do play tennis twice a week. What keeps you motivated? 119 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 1: What keeps you more? You know? What I think keeps 120 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: me motivated, Aside from my wife and my family and 121 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: I want them to be proud of me and always 122 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: moving forward and trying new things and taking risks, is 123 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 1: also my friends and my community and surrounding myself with 124 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: people that are doing interesting things. And inspire me and 125 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: bring out the best in me. UM. So I think 126 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: the people you surround yourself in your life or can 127 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: be a great motivating factor. Okay, so those were the 128 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 1: eleven questions, and We're gonna take a quick break and 129 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: I'll come back and answer some of your q and 130 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: a s. Hi Jennifer, Hi, how's it going good? How 131 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: are you good? I have a question about my husband. UM. 132 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: We've been together for four years now and UM, we 133 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: have two kids, two young babies three months and six months, 134 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: so you can imagine how tired where we are. UM, 135 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: and I just feel like we're both were we are 136 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 1: like a great team together and everything and everything is 137 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: seems like it's going well except for you know, our 138 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: intimate life. Do you know what I mean? Uh, we're 139 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: both just very tired. And every time we do go 140 00:10:55,440 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: to bed, he just rolls over, which I understand. UM. 141 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 1: And you know, I've asked him about a date night 142 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:09,200 Speaker 1: and we don't really have the time, and I feel 143 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: like he doesn't make the time, but I would really 144 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,959 Speaker 1: like to explore that. And I just I need help 145 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: finding the spark again with him, and I'm not really 146 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: sure what to do. Well, first, of all, give yourselves 147 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: a break because you're in you're in the weeds right 148 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 1: now as far as the ages of your kids, so 149 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 1: that everything you're looking for, I promise you will come back. 150 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: So the first thing I would say is give yourself 151 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: a break and accept that there's gonna be a lull. 152 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: But as far as a date night or intimacy, you know, 153 00:11:55,320 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 1: maybe you take the initiative and say we're doing this. 154 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: We're gonna go, you know, like I got tickets to 155 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 1: go see Eddie Vetter or the other you know a 156 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: few months a month ago or two months ago, you know, 157 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 1: because of COVID, we hadn't gone, we hadn't seen music 158 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 1: in years, and I just said, we're going to do this. Well, 159 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: you know, the kids will be fine. We're gonna go 160 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,600 Speaker 1: see Eddie Vetter at YouTube Theater and uh, we're gonna 161 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 1: have dinner first. And UM, I think at least if 162 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: if one of you makes it a priority, Um, the 163 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:40,720 Speaker 1: other person should you know, be grateful. I think, um, 164 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: but it takes an effort, and then you know, maybe 165 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: you could push him next time to you know what, 166 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 1: come come up with something for me. Doesn't have to 167 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,440 Speaker 1: be tomorrow, doesn't have to be next week, but just 168 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: surprised me with something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like I said, 169 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 1: enjoy these times because the kids grow up so fast 170 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:07,720 Speaker 1: and it takes away from your from your relationship and 171 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: your intimacy. But there there are really special times about 172 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,559 Speaker 1: what you're going through. And just know that you guys 173 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: will have each other in the coming years. It will 174 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: all come back, I promise. Oh I hope. So thank 175 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: you so much. I um, I'm just worried about him 176 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: saying he's too tired to go, but I guess in 177 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 1: that case, I just say, nope, we're doing this for us. 178 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,719 Speaker 1: I insist. Yeah, if you make a gesture, he's got 179 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:38,559 Speaker 1: to go. Yeah, all right, well I will do that, 180 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: all right. Good luck, Emily, thanks for calling. Thank you 181 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: so much. Bye, Hi Sarah. Hi. Um. So recently a 182 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: co worker of mine has been super flirty and giving 183 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 1: me a lot of attention at work, and he even 184 00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:02,320 Speaker 1: sometimes sends me flirty texts after work hour. And you know, 185 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: I've been married for fifteen years and I have to 186 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 1: admit that this new attention feels good. And I just 187 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: wonder am I in the wrong to flirt back? As 188 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: long as nothing happens physically. Oh, I don't like this 189 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: guy already. I'll tell you that right now. Why Because 190 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 1: he's flirting and he knows I'm married. Yeah. Yeah, it 191 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: takes a certain kind of guy to do that. That's 192 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: to me, that's a red flag about him. But I 193 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: get it. I get it. I've been married for some 194 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: twenty two years. M h. And I think one thing 195 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: that's been a pillar of our marriage, uh is the 196 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: trust issue. M hm. You know my wife goes on 197 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: girls trips. I go. We you know, we separate and 198 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: we have separate lives because we know there's no no 199 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: cause for jealousy or any of that type of stuff. 200 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: And when you start playing with that fire, you know, 201 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:22,600 Speaker 1: you could say nothing's happening. But if he found out, 202 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: would it upset him? Maybe that's the question. I don't know. 203 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 1: I think it probably would. I think you're right. I mean, 204 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 1: I wouldn't like it if somebody was doing that with 205 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:39,359 Speaker 1: him exactly exactly. I know it feels good and maybe 206 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 1: it's flattering. I mean I have to admit it. Yeah, alright, 207 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: so now you you know you're still got it, you 208 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: know you're still attractive. Now, yeah, let your let your 209 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: husband enjoy that. Yeah. I think that's that's good advice. 210 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, thanks for calling. I'll try. Thank you. Hi, Alex, Hi, 211 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: what's on your mind? Okay? Um, So the thing is 212 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: my husband and his sister are really close, but there's 213 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: this thing that like keeps happening. So I'll suggest a 214 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: show to him, like a show to watch or a 215 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 1: restaurant to try, and he'll always be like, oh, that's 216 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: not for me, or I won't like it, and then 217 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 1: his sister will like tell him about the show or 218 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: like name the same restaurant that I already told him about, 219 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 1: and then he'll like, oh, I've never heard of that. 220 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 1: That sounds great. I'll try it right away. And it 221 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: just kind of drives me crazy that like he'll value his, 222 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: like her opinion more than mine. And I just don't 223 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 1: know if I'm overreacting or if I'm not. How do 224 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: I approach this, because like he'll get protective of his 225 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 1: sister and I just don't know what to do. That's 226 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 1: so funny because I I, my wife and I have 227 00:16:55,320 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: the same sort of conversations about my sister, who you know, 228 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: it's like my best friend and she's two years younger 229 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 1: than me, and My wife always say, why, how come 230 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 1: when Lauren suggests this, you take it to heart and 231 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,880 Speaker 1: you overlook it when I when I suggest it, Um, 232 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: I think it's you know, it's pretty normal, you know, 233 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 1: the the sibling bond is like something that's unique, and 234 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: his sister probably you know, you know, knows his taste 235 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: and they have like a short form communication. But I, yeah, 236 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be jealous of of a sibling relationship because 237 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: I know just how how rare the that is. You know, 238 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 1: to to really have a strong relationship with a with 239 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: a sibling, it can only it only be a positive. Um. Well, 240 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna only child, so I don't really know 241 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 1: what that's like. But I just think when you're married, 242 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,440 Speaker 1: that's like when you choose your family as so shouldn't 243 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:19,680 Speaker 1: my opinion matter more? Now if your opinions being completely overlooked, Yes, absolutely, Um, 244 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: But I I would just I would steer clear of 245 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:30,200 Speaker 1: being trying not to be jealous of your husband's relationship 246 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 1: with his sister because it's no threat to you. Um, 247 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:41,160 Speaker 1: but if he's disregarding you, know, your opinions and your thoughts, 248 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 1: that's a separate issue. Yeah, it's hard to tell whether 249 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 1: I'm like just taking it personally or or if it's 250 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:55,880 Speaker 1: like valid. I don't know, but you're you're saying it's 251 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: something to worry about. Yeah, I think there's there are 252 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 1: two separate issues. I think you need to uh allow 253 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: him his relationship with his sister, which is no threat 254 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: to you, and maybe you know he they have similar 255 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: tastes and TV or whatever whatever it is. But if 256 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: he's if he's disregarding you know, your thoughts and your 257 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,440 Speaker 1: opinions on things, that's a separate issue that I would 258 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 1: not attach to any jealousy to his relationship with his sister, 259 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 1: because you're not gonna look good and there's really no 260 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 1: leg to stand on for that, you know, you know 261 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, let him have a close relationship 262 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 1: with his sister and then deal with you know, if 263 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,920 Speaker 1: he happens to be pushing you aside and your thoughts 264 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 1: and your opinions aside, deal with that on its own. Okay, Yeah, 265 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,679 Speaker 1: I guess I'll try. I'll try to separate the two things. 266 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 1: You got a good luck with it, thank you. I 267 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 1: shall be Hi. What's up? Uh? So my fiance and 268 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: I are getting married in December and he won't set 269 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:11,400 Speaker 1: up and help with the planning. Um, my friends think 270 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: that this is like a dream scenario, But I really 271 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 1: need his help and I'm super busy with traveling for work. 272 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: And uh we already lost our favorite photographer because he 273 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: never sent our deposit, which is really frustrating. So I 274 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 1: guess how do I get him to set up, like 275 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 1: to step up and help. Oh boy, if you do 276 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:44,719 Speaker 1: start to delegate uh decisions to him, I'm warning you 277 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 1: now it might not be the wedding that you're expecting. 278 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:54,440 Speaker 1: But I understand you need some help with your Your 279 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: time is valuable. Do you have family members, mom's, mother 280 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: in law's, anyone else that could Yeah? I do, and 281 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: they've been helping too. But I mean, I would like 282 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: the person I'm marrying to have a say and to 283 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,399 Speaker 1: be part of the you know, the experience, and and 284 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 1: give me some anything, I guess, you know, um, and 285 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 1: not do things like uh, lose the photographer because he 286 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 1: didn't send the deposit, like the one thing that he did. Um, 287 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,120 Speaker 1: and just be a little bit more interested, I guess, 288 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: and proactive and in the journey. Yeah, I mean, honestly, 289 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 1: I I've been married for over twenty years. And that 290 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 1: sounds like something I might have done back when I 291 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 1: was engaged. And it has nothing to do with my 292 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: love for my wife or the commitment we're making, or 293 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:57,520 Speaker 1: the profoundness of what you know of what our marriage means. 294 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: It's I just didn't really care what the flowers look 295 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 1: like or who was taking the pictures. The guest list 296 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: I was very involved with, but like all the details, 297 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 1: I I was just like, whatever you want, and like 298 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 1: I said, we're still married. And my uh not disinterest, 299 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:23,920 Speaker 1: but my my, my, my lack of concern for all 300 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 1: the details of the actual party had nothing to do 301 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:34,680 Speaker 1: with my love for my wife longevity of our marriage. 302 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: It was really as long as our family and friends 303 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: are there with us, I don't care where we are, 304 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 1: Like I'll, you know, we'll we'll say our vows in 305 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 1: front of the people that mean the most to us. 306 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 1: And uh, I'm sorry if I don't care about who's 307 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 1: the photographer, who what flowers or what meal is being served, 308 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,639 Speaker 1: I just, you know, I would leave that up to 309 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:03,200 Speaker 1: my wife. But if I'm just saying it, I wouldn't 310 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: make more of it than that, because I'm you know, 311 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 1: married for twenty years and I was pretty disinterested in 312 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,399 Speaker 1: the details of our wedding. Well, I guess that is 313 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:20,679 Speaker 1: inadvertently sweet if you think about it. Yeah, you know, 314 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,639 Speaker 1: it's to me, it's like the marriage. You're making a 315 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:29,600 Speaker 1: lifelong commitment, and so much stress and decision making and 316 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 1: time goes into these details of a three hour party. It. 317 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just I get it. And I've 318 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,120 Speaker 1: been to a lot of what beautiful weddings, and our 319 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 1: wedding was amazing, but and I appreciated all the work 320 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: that my wife did, but the important thing to me 321 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 1: was the guest list who was there to witness us 322 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:58,720 Speaker 1: making our vows and then to party and celebrate with us. Uh, 323 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,160 Speaker 1: and what the tables of Like, I just didn't care. 324 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:09,040 Speaker 1: And yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I get it. 325 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: So the solution, um, I guess would be too kind 326 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: of just allow my my family and I to plan 327 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,880 Speaker 1: a little bit more. And and I guess I could 328 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,399 Speaker 1: ask him as well what parts he does care about 329 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: and uh, and kind of go from there. I guess 330 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: would be it would be a good way to approach it. Yeah, 331 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: I mean, if you present him Okay, here's the table settings, 332 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 1: here's the menu here's here's the band setlist, and then 333 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,919 Speaker 1: he perks up on what music is going to be played. 334 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,200 Speaker 1: Maybe he'll jump in and start, you know, jotting down 335 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 1: songs for the band or the DJ. You know, like 336 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:55,239 Speaker 1: there's got to be something that perks his interest. But uh, 337 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: I'm sure he's most focused on, you know, the step 338 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,359 Speaker 1: that you guys are taking together and that you're surrounded 339 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 1: by people that love you, and that's really to me, 340 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: that's that's what the night is about. Yeah for sure. Okay, Yeah, 341 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 1: so it seems more like a like a more of 342 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: a i don't know, like a negotiation, trying to feel 343 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 1: out what he is interested in doing and not kind 344 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,160 Speaker 1: of making him do what I think needs to be done. Yeah. 345 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 1: Like I said, if he's a guy that you love 346 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 1: and you want to commit your life too, don't fight 347 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 1: over play settings or his disinterest in that. It's just 348 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: it doesn't make sense, you know, like think of the 349 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 1: bigger picture and is this you know, this is the 350 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 1: man you want to marry. You know, throw things in 351 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 1: his way and give ask his opinion, and if he does, 352 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 1: if he says it's up to you, don't do not 353 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: get in a fight over that, before your wedding. Okay, 354 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 1: well that's great advice. Alright, cool, good luck and congratulations, 355 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: thank you so much. I the other how are you 356 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: over good? How are you? I am very good, having 357 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: a nice hour with this podcast. Awesome. Well, UM, I 358 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: would love your advice on something. Um. I it's just 359 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: a little bit of background and started three years old. 360 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 1: And UM, my boyfriend he wants to buy this new 361 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 1: set of golf clubs, which I did not realize how 362 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,880 Speaker 1: expensive golf clubs were. Um, this set is costing. Yeah, 363 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,439 Speaker 1: I had no idea the set costs around six thousand 364 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: dollars and UM, you know, you know it's his money 365 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 1: until I find Um. But we've been together for eight 366 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: years now and I'm just dying for him to propose. 367 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,439 Speaker 1: And I just it's been a long time, and I 368 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: worry that if he spends you know, that money on 369 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,920 Speaker 1: golf clubs, that means that a proposal in the rain 370 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 1: or just even further away for me. Um. And you know, 371 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 1: it's hard because I can't really tell him what to do. 372 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,800 Speaker 1: But at the same time, like it's been eight years, um, 373 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: and I don't want him to feel pressured. But I 374 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 1: also don't know how much longer I can wait. Um, 375 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,679 Speaker 1: And my my question is how do I how do 376 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,000 Speaker 1: I bring this up to him? How do I tell 377 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 1: him that he should put that money towards the ring instead? Wow, 378 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 1: that's a tricky situation. First of all six thousand dollar 379 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: golf clubs. Is he a very good golfer? He is 380 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 1: really really good? Okay, that's kind of things that really 381 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 1: turns me out about him. I just don't know. I 382 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: just don't. I didn't. I guess I don't realize how 383 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,640 Speaker 1: expensive the sport was. Um, And normally I wouldn't care, 384 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 1: but I would love to have that ring on my finger. Yeah. Okay. 385 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:41,760 Speaker 1: So the first thing is if golf is an outlet 386 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 1: for him and makes him happy, he's going to be 387 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 1: a better partner for you. So you do get something 388 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:53,120 Speaker 1: out of it, you know. Um? But man, I remember 389 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 1: my wife. I met her in New York and I 390 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,840 Speaker 1: lived in l A. We were a long distance for 391 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: a year. She moved to l A after a year, 392 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 1: and then I think after two years of living here, 393 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 1: she asked me when we were getting get engaged, and 394 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: I said, well, not anytime soon, and she burst into tears. 395 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:22,680 Speaker 1: And I remember when she kind of let go of 396 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:28,440 Speaker 1: that issue. Within six months, I became ready and proposed, 397 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 1: but I didn't want her. I didn't want her to 398 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: make me buy a ring, you know what I mean? Yeah, 399 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,960 Speaker 1: And that's what I worry about because I don't want 400 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: to be you know that that girl that's like, you know, 401 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 1: breathing down his neck of you know, when of your proposed. 402 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 1: I want to get married, like he knows I want 403 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 1: to get married. We talk about it. Obviously, we've begn 404 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 1: for you know, eight years now, um, but you know, 405 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: it's been a long time, and I don't know when 406 00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 1: it's going to happen. And you know, I just I 407 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 1: worry that if he's putting his money towards that, that 408 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 1: it's just going to be maybe it's just not even 409 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 1: top of mind for him. It might be you might 410 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 1: be miss misinterpreting it, but I wouldn't. I would separate 411 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 1: the golf clubs from the issue of eight year relationship 412 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: and where it's going. Don't don't don't say it's the 413 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: golf clubs or me, you know, um, because that, yeah, 414 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: that that's gonna convolute everything. But yeah, after eight years together, 415 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: you have every right to tell him what you know, 416 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 1: what you want out of life. And I don't know 417 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: if you want to have kids or not or um 418 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 1: start a family, but yeah, those are things that should 419 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 1: be talked about at this point after eight years, and 420 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: you have every right to bring it up and just 421 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 1: ask him what he wants, what he wants out of life, 422 00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 1: what he wants out of this relationship and uh, and 423 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 1: you know, it's it's getting to the point where you 424 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 1: should start making decisions. And I'll tell you, men put 425 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 1: off decisions like this for as long as they can um, 426 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 1: and they like, they like when it's their decision. So 427 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,760 Speaker 1: if there's any way you can softly talk to him 428 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:26,480 Speaker 1: about what you want and what you're ready for, and 429 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: you know, say it. Let's I hope it aligns with 430 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 1: what you want and what you're ready for, and may 431 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: maybe even make him think that you're not gonna wait 432 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 1: much longer. But but I wouldn't give ultimatums. I wouldn't. 433 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 1: I wouldn't tie it to his golf clubs and say, 434 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 1: if you buy these golf clubs, it means you're not 435 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 1: committed to me. I wouldn't. I wouldn't do any of that, Okay, 436 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: so yes, and I would just have an honest conversation 437 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 1: with him. I mean, he's you know, he's your friend too, Like, 438 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,440 Speaker 1: just talk to him about what you're feeling and say, I, 439 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,400 Speaker 1: I don't want to force you into anything. I want 440 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: this to be your decision as much as mine. Just 441 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: let me know honestly what you're thinking. Because it's been 442 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:18,560 Speaker 1: eight years. Yeah, yeah, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna try. How. 443 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 1: I'm really anxious about it because you know, like you said, 444 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,480 Speaker 1: it is, it has been a long time, and I 445 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 1: get fearful of what that how that conversation is going 446 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 1: to go. But I know I have to have it. Yeah, 447 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: if you're honest and you're gentle with it, you know, 448 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:39,560 Speaker 1: not like accusatory with ultimatums, it can't go wrong. Okay, Well, 449 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 1: thank you so much, David. I appreciate it. All right, Taylor, 450 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 1: good luck. All right. I want to thank everybody who 451 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:50,960 Speaker 1: called in. There were some really thoughtful questions and discussions. 452 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,720 Speaker 1: Um and uh, We're gonna go to a quick break 453 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: and then I'll come back and answer some of the 454 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: written questions. M h okay, So let's get into some 455 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 1: of these written questions. Wow, uh, really interesting stuff here 456 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 1: when talking about love there is the saying when you know, 457 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,160 Speaker 1: you know, do you believe this? What if there is 458 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 1: no specific moment you feel this. That's a really great question. 459 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 1: You know. People talk about love at first sight and 460 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,880 Speaker 1: when when I you know, I when I first met 461 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: him I knew, or when I first met her, I 462 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 1: just knew that was the woman I was gonna marry. 463 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,720 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't believe in that. And I think 464 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: that's a lot of pressure to put on young couples 465 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 1: that they're supposed to be blown away by the person 466 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 1: the first time they see them. That's not the start 467 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 1: of any anything lasting or real. To me, Um, I look, 468 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 1: there has to be um an attraction. There has to 469 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 1: be uh things in common conversation. I mean, I remember 470 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: speaking to my wife on the phone for hours that 471 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 1: to me, you know, said everything. Um. But my love 472 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: for her has grown and grown and grown into you know, 473 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not only still attracted to her. She's 474 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 1: the coolest girl I know still to this day. But 475 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: she's the mother of my kids and she's still parties 476 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 1: the right amount, loves live music and traveling, and like, 477 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 1: we have grown into a much more meaningful love than 478 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:56,560 Speaker 1: anything somebody in like a fairy tale could say was 479 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,960 Speaker 1: the first time I saw her? This is what it was? 480 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: Is so I I do not believe in that. I 481 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:08,480 Speaker 1: believe that you have starting points that are important, Like 482 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:13,000 Speaker 1: I said, a physical attraction, things in common. If you 483 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 1: can speak long conversations together and laugh together, there's your 484 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 1: building blocks, and then that can grow into something. Uh 485 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:26,560 Speaker 1: that this this uh person with the question is talking 486 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,840 Speaker 1: about when you know you know? No, I think it 487 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:37,879 Speaker 1: grows and grows. So recognize those building blocks, those things 488 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:43,640 Speaker 1: in common, the attraction um and uh, and don't hold 489 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 1: yourself to some you know princess movie where you're supposed 490 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: to be like, you know, shop with a cupid arrow 491 00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,919 Speaker 1: the second you see someone that doesn't exist in my mind? 492 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: What advice do you give your daughter about guys? Oh? Boy? 493 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 1: Do you warn her about anything in today's dating world? 494 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:11,760 Speaker 1: You learn for yourself when you were younger. Who Um, 495 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 1: my oldest daughter, Hannah is she's now a freshman in college. 496 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:20,600 Speaker 1: But she her first boyfriend, uh was I guess the 497 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:25,719 Speaker 1: end of her junior year in high school. And the 498 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 1: boy was kind, respectful, very smart, hard working. Um. I 499 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:43,560 Speaker 1: I respect my daughter's judgment and if there comes a 500 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:48,800 Speaker 1: time where it strays or I don't I no longer 501 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 1: trust it. I will have to think about this question 502 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: more carefully. But I feel like you know, when you 503 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 1: raise a child, you raise them to know a good 504 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 1: person when they see a good person, to have good 505 00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 1: judgment when it comes to relationships and friendships. And if 506 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:16,560 Speaker 1: they're going astray, UM, I would have to, you know, 507 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 1: jump in and give my opinion. But uh, I really 508 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:26,640 Speaker 1: trust the woman that she is, and if she likes 509 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 1: a guy, I'm most likely going to like him as well. 510 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 1: To this point, this may change at a later date. 511 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,400 Speaker 1: When men are quieter than usual, is this a sign 512 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 1: something is wrong and they are just not telling us? 513 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 1: M Quiet? Quiet can mean many different things. UM. I 514 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 1: tend to get quiet in in a passive aggressive way 515 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,720 Speaker 1: to show my wife that I'm a set and it's terrible. 516 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: It's a terrible sort of gaslighting of someone. It's so 517 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:14,400 Speaker 1: much healthier to just get your issues out there, deal 518 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:19,479 Speaker 1: with them, and move on. Um. But there are also 519 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,399 Speaker 1: guys that are just shy. So I don't know if 520 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:26,640 Speaker 1: you're in a if this is a longer term relationship 521 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:32,920 Speaker 1: and a guy who's usually outgoing and friendly suddenly becomes 522 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:39,879 Speaker 1: quieter than usual. It probably is something he's not telling you. Um, 523 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: if it's someone you just started dating and he's just 524 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,080 Speaker 1: kind of quiet and shy, I wouldn't read into it 525 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:49,400 Speaker 1: as much. David, what was the hardest part of shooting 526 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 1: into stardom at a young age? How did this affect 527 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:59,600 Speaker 1: your dating life? So? I think being an actor in 528 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 1: my teens kind of sped up my dating life, if 529 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,920 Speaker 1: that makes sense. Because I met my wife when I 530 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,400 Speaker 1: was twenty three, and I had been living in l 531 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:20,160 Speaker 1: A since I graduated high school since seventeen, and I 532 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 1: was by at at age twenty three, I was so 533 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:29,560 Speaker 1: ready to meet like the right kind of girl for me, 534 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:38,880 Speaker 1: you know. Not. I was over flings and whatever comes 535 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 1: with being on a hit show at the time. I 536 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:46,040 Speaker 1: was over all of it after five or six years 537 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 1: living in l A on my own. So I met 538 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 1: my wife at twenty three, not because I was looking 539 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,279 Speaker 1: for marriage or any of that stuff. And I and 540 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 1: I feel grateful that I met my wife at a 541 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,759 Speaker 1: time where I wasn't looking for it. I wasn't like 542 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,400 Speaker 1: desperate for it. I met her and just didn't want 543 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,360 Speaker 1: to be without her, and I was ready for something 544 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:18,400 Speaker 1: real and I feel like, you know, uh, having success 545 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,080 Speaker 1: as an actor at an early age got me to 546 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,440 Speaker 1: that point at an early age, which you know has 547 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,760 Speaker 1: led to you know, my beautiful family. And I'm I'm 548 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:33,120 Speaker 1: still somewhat of a young dad with kids that uh 549 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 1: that are like my my buddies now. UM, So I 550 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:40,239 Speaker 1: think whatever it's called, shooting into stardom whatever at a 551 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 1: young age kind of spread everything up for me. And 552 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,240 Speaker 1: at twenty three, I was ready to really find something, 553 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:51,560 Speaker 1: something meaningful, um, which I'm I'm really grateful for. I 554 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,200 Speaker 1: got like all that stuff out of my system between 555 00:39:55,640 --> 00:40:00,520 Speaker 1: seventeen and twenty three. UM, and I've had a really 556 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:05,080 Speaker 1: beautiful relationship with my wife ever since. All Right, you 557 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,840 Speaker 1: you beautiful listeners, Thank you so much for for having 558 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:12,440 Speaker 1: me as your guest host on How Men Think. Um. 559 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 1: The questions were incredibly thoughtful, uh and the conversations were 560 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,640 Speaker 1: really interesting to me. UM. You can follow me on 561 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:25,800 Speaker 1: Instagram or Twitter at at David Lasher. Um. You could 562 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:33,359 Speaker 1: follow our family at the Lasher family on TikTok, which 563 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 1: is a family account, but my youngest daughter, Chelsea is 564 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:44,240 Speaker 1: the creative mastermind behind our TikTok account. At the Lasher family. UM, 565 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:48,240 Speaker 1: I have a comedy series on a new streaming service 566 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:54,080 Speaker 1: called the Fiicto app. It's called Cruisers and Shakers. And 567 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:58,160 Speaker 1: I have a film that has recently been launched on 568 00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 1: Apple TV called Sister, starring Grace Kaufman, who's also in 569 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 1: Apple TV's new movie The Sky Is Everywhere. She's amazing, 570 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,879 Speaker 1: So check that out and check Sister out on Apple tv, 571 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,359 Speaker 1: and thank you again for having me. This is how 572 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,720 Speaker 1: men think. An I Heart Radio London audio production. Listen 573 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:22,360 Speaker 1: each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast 574 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,160 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.