Speaker 1: Wind down with Janna Kramer and I have heard radio
Speaker 1: podcast so excited to wind down today. I got a
Speaker 1: lot to talk about so much, especially you. Okay there
Speaker 1: with the mike bed just making a little I'm taller
Speaker 1: than most. It's get it up higher, That's what she said.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't like something like I was like,
Speaker 1: something was there. Um, let me just tell you. The
Speaker 1: virgins came out for blood. They banded together and came
Speaker 1: after you. The band of virgins just came like for
Speaker 1: major blood, protesting the streets in front of our house signs.
Speaker 1: We know. I think that. Um, I didn't think that
Speaker 1: you were attacking them in any way. Well, I just
Speaker 1: feel like I need to say this because you know,
Speaker 1: I just want to reiterate again, I am not shaming virgins.
Speaker 1: I am not saying that you shouldn't wait and gets
Speaker 1: a beautiful I even talked to one of my virgin
Speaker 1: friends and was like, did I did I disrespect you? No?
Speaker 1: She's like no, She's like, You've always been so supportive.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, good. I was because I'm
Speaker 1: starting to feel bad because these people are like, you know,
Speaker 1: You've made me feel really bad about my choices, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I was not trying to do that. I'm
Speaker 1: literally just saying that's just not for me. And sometimes
Speaker 1: I forget like being on you know, on air and
Speaker 1: doing this like I'm also trying to be funny, I'm
Speaker 1: also trying to be like, well that you know, you
Speaker 1: gotta test you know, personally, Yeah, I do feel like
Speaker 1: you got a test drive. But that's just my opinion.
Speaker 1: But I have no I have no hate for the
Speaker 1: other side. I think that's great. If you're waiting. I
Speaker 1: think it's great that you you know you and you know,
Speaker 1: if you guys were the only people that that's awesome.
Speaker 1: Just for me personally, it's just not what I wanted
Speaker 1: to do. That wasn't your path, Yeah, the path, but
Speaker 1: I think that people were just like you just seemed
Speaker 1: very like your attitude store and so, you know, I
Speaker 1: texted Michael was like, man, I'm feeling really bad because
Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt people's feelings. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: you can't, Like, no, you can't. That's just that just
Speaker 1: goes to show the oversensitive year of society as a whole. Right,
Speaker 1: It's like people can't even speak their opinions other than
Speaker 1: somebody get mad when it's okay. It's just like political parties.
Speaker 1: You want to be a Republican, I'll listen to what
Speaker 1: you have to say. Cool, that's fine, that's your opinion,
Speaker 1: that's how you look at things. I want to be
Speaker 1: a democrat, not saying a Republican. I'm not saying demot
Speaker 1: even stopping that. But no, I mean again, like sometimes
Speaker 1: like I did respond to a few of the dams,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, sometimes I do like I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to be funny too write, and so I
Speaker 1: forget that someone's feelings are hurt. Like someone had said.
Speaker 1: I had made a comment about you know, why I
Speaker 1: did a C section versus you know, a vaginal and like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't think my husband would ever go
Speaker 1: down there. She's like, well, now I'm afraid that my
Speaker 1: husband doesn't want to look at my vagina. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I wasn't saying that your husband thinks you're vagina is ugly.
Speaker 1: Like I'm just you know, well, it's your own personal
Speaker 1: life experience that you're talking about, which it's not everyone's experience.
Speaker 1: Everyone is opinion and feelings and just leave my wife alone. No, no,
Speaker 1: but no, no, no, no, but I I don't. I like,
Speaker 1: you know, my heart, like you know, I never want
Speaker 1: to hurt people. I never ever, ever. That's your opinion,
Speaker 1: and that's okay. And again, I just again, I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm also trying to be you know, lighthearted about the situation.
Speaker 1: And I test drove a lot. You know you did.
Speaker 1: That's just what we did. And that's okay too, that's okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But if I was a virgin, that's okay. I just
Speaker 1: like personally know like if you were, like that had
Speaker 1: been really hard if you were a virgin, because I
Speaker 1: would have wanted to, you know, but I would have
Speaker 1: had to respect. If I really loved you, I would have,
Speaker 1: like I thought, to stay in it. But you definitely
Speaker 1: weren't a virgin, so there wasn't to worry about that,
Speaker 1: no problems there. But so just to all my virgins,
Speaker 1: I support you, I love you. I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: knock you right now. I'm just saying that's awesome and
Speaker 1: honestly good for them, for you in such a sexualized
Speaker 1: society as well. Not to be on this whole society talk,
Speaker 1: but the fact that you're still able to hold your
Speaker 1: values for whatever reason that that that might be is phenomenal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: someone did say, like, why isn't why wasn't Mike more
Speaker 1: on their eyed about the fact that like Colton was
Speaker 1: just like he wasn't waiting till marriage. She's just waiting
Speaker 1: for the right person, So why wasn't he more on
Speaker 1: his side about the fact that he didn't play into
Speaker 1: like the football like stuff and society. It doesn't has
Speaker 1: nothing to with football. I just has to do with
Speaker 1: a person doing what they want to do. And that's okay.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so that happened, But um, there are some
Speaker 1: uh I think I believe we have some really good
Speaker 1: emails that we're going to answer later for sure. But
Speaker 1: you know what I did learn is that a friend
Speaker 1: she texted me and she goes, by the way, I
Speaker 1: lied to my husband about my number because because it
Speaker 1: was so high, No, because she they were telling numbers
Speaker 1: and his was lower, so then she felt like she
Speaker 1: had to then like lower hers. And to this day,
Speaker 1: like they've been married for like twenty plus years and
Speaker 1: they are no, not that long, but like they like
Speaker 1: she's like and then somebody else emailed me too, and
Speaker 1: there's a question should I tell my husband like, I'm
Speaker 1: starting to feel guilty that I lied to him about
Speaker 1: my number. Well, why do you have to tell the number? Well,
Speaker 1: because here's the thing. If you guys talk about it
Speaker 1: and then you lie, that's technically a lie. So technically
Speaker 1: she lied to her husband, and her husband I say,
Speaker 1: take it to the grave, take it to the grave.
Speaker 1: But it's a lie. So why started why I start
Speaker 1: a relationship with a lie? Then they have they've been
Speaker 1: in the marriage for fifteen something, because that's a deal breaker.
Speaker 1: He won't leave after that. But I get that's why.
Speaker 1: That's why it's really hard to even have that conversation.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't even think it's necessary because whoever
Speaker 1: says at first, the second person is going to probably
Speaker 1: feel obligated to match that pretty close. Well, but here,
Speaker 1: you know what, I think this is how people should
Speaker 1: reveal it. They should set a little timer on the
Speaker 1: cell phone. They should write it on a piece of paper,
Speaker 1: and when the alarm goes off, they shoot it over
Speaker 1: to the other person. That way, you can't go back,
Speaker 1: there's no changing it. Nothing. Well, then what happens because
Speaker 1: I will say that I agreed with my friend because
Speaker 1: I too have lied about my number when the other
Speaker 1: person's number was is lower than mine, right, because you
Speaker 1: feel like they're they're gonna be how many people? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then they're gonna be like, wait, do I have
Speaker 1: to go have sex with more people? But it's a
Speaker 1: good question though, because this girl, you know, my friend,
Speaker 1: she's over it. She's like whatever, Like she's like, take
Speaker 1: it to your grave. But my the girl that had
Speaker 1: reached out to me, she's like, I'm really torn with
Speaker 1: like the fact that I'm lying to my husband about it.
Speaker 1: If that, if that is the only lie that she's
Speaker 1: holding on too, and that's what she's worried about, then yes,
Speaker 1: go to him and be like, look, honey, I know
Speaker 1: this is silly, but this is fifteen years ago. Okay,
Speaker 1: what if it's not fifteen. I'm not talking about that
Speaker 1: tuition more. I'm talking now about the girl that DMed
Speaker 1: men Instagram said what do I do? How recent? I
Speaker 1: mean they've been married for like, let's say to two years.
Speaker 1: I think she should get a really funny card I
Speaker 1: do and write it in the card. By the way,
Speaker 1: just left with eight instead of six. That wouldn't be
Speaker 1: a big deal. But if you're like, if you told
Speaker 1: an eight. But it's like, then that's something to consider.
Speaker 1: What is the discrepancy of your lie? But why does
Speaker 1: that matter? A lie is a lie. A lie is
Speaker 1: a lie when it's eight or nine. I'm not minimizing
Speaker 1: the lie, but the aftermath of that lie is going
Speaker 1: to be a little bit bigger if it's the difference
Speaker 1: is I mean, would you want me to like if
Speaker 1: I lied to you about my number and then came
Speaker 1: back to it was like, it's actually this, like, would
Speaker 1: you want me to tell you the truth? You don't
Speaker 1: want it, you don't care. Yeah, we got this anonymous
Speaker 1: email that you might have been referring to, but she
Speaker 1: lied about her number just to give you some Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the one that fiance thinks it's for what did
Speaker 1: she say what her fiances is to? I don't that's
Speaker 1: the email. That's totally the email. Yeah, not a person
Speaker 1: a lie. But I got trapped in this web? Did
Speaker 1: I come clean? That's her? I say, take it to
Speaker 1: the grave, Take it to the grave. But here's the thing,
Speaker 1: it's a lie. It's a lie to the grave. It's better,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. It's still alive. It's obviously eating her
Speaker 1: up to the fact that she emailed us. Yes, that's
Speaker 1: not actually actually, But I'm also saying though, like with
Speaker 1: a lie, like with you, it's like I didn't tell you,
Speaker 1: like so it's like I don't care, Like I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I'm holding the name back. But if I
Speaker 1: told you a certain number and it was not that,
Speaker 1: I would feel like I'm holding something. And she's clearly
Speaker 1: struggling with it because she wrote us and she doesn't
Speaker 1: know what to do. But yes, that is a big
Speaker 1: number discrepancy, and he's probably not going to be happy
Speaker 1: with it, especially since his number is super sorry not super.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be whatever because erically lower than
Speaker 1: the other, than his than his wife. So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know you guys are saying zip it,
Speaker 1: but like I see, take it to the grave, anonymous,
Speaker 1: write it on a piece of paper and burn it.
Speaker 1: Tor okay, I always do the thing. Where would you
Speaker 1: hate it if he kept a secret from you? So
Speaker 1: if the role was reversed, would you hate not knowing
Speaker 1: that he had actually lied to you about his number?
Speaker 1: If if you can move past it, then I say
Speaker 1: move past it. If that's his secret and you couldn't
Speaker 1: you want to see him any differently. That's a really
Speaker 1: good point. So think about whether you know you wanted
Speaker 1: to know, if unless unless you want unless you're the
Speaker 1: kind of person that wants to know all details. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So whoever the anonymous is, just ask yourself, if the
Speaker 1: roles were reversed, what would you want? Yeah, and that honestly,
Speaker 1: whatever that answer is, you do what that is. If
Speaker 1: it was you'd want him to tell you, then go
Speaker 1: tell him. If you'd rather not know, don't tell him.
Speaker 1: Hey babe, what's for dinner tonight? It's a great question, Janna.
Speaker 1: What do we do? What do we usually do? And
Speaker 1: what are you cooking tonight? Janna, winning doubt. We just
Speaker 1: resort to Hello Fresh. You're obsessed with hell a Fresh?
Speaker 1: Tell us why? Yeah? And I always thought it was
Speaker 1: a good cook until now I think I actually I'm
Speaker 1: a better cook because of Hello Fresh. Well, No, because
Speaker 1: you like repeat some of the meals that they've actually
Speaker 1: like brought to us. Yeah, because they've been fantastic there,
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Speaker 1: our whole family, and there's a lot of uh, you know,
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Speaker 1: the fact that, you know, sometimes it's like we don't
Speaker 1: want to decide what we want for dinner. It's really
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Speaker 1: That's Hello Fresh dot com slash Cramer sixty and enter
Speaker 1: Cramer sixty. Okay, so you're gonna have to bleet me
Speaker 1: for this Eastern, but we've got We've got Aaron Falconer
Speaker 1: in studio. Her book is called Ready How to Get
Speaker 1: Done It? Um, what inspired you to write this book? Uh?
Speaker 1: You know, I I moved down to Los Angeles, from
Speaker 1: Canada about fifteen years ago, and I had big dreams
Speaker 1: and no real plan and found myself a couple of
Speaker 1: years later in the fetal position, crying on my bathroom
Speaker 1: floor when nothing had worked out. And over the course
Speaker 1: of figuring my life out, um, I kind of you know,
Speaker 1: I struggled along a long time and then I finally
Speaker 1: got myself on the path to success. And uh, five
Speaker 1: years later, when I was asked to write this book,
Speaker 1: I realized that I had not enjoyed or appreciated or
Speaker 1: acknowledged any of any of my success. I was just going, going, going, going, going,
Speaker 1: And I had this kind of epiphany where it was like,
Speaker 1: it's not just about getting more stuff done, it's about
Speaker 1: getting the right stuff done. And so I that was
Speaker 1: kind of the idea behind this book. It's real defining
Speaker 1: the word productivity and specifically for women. Why, um, what
Speaker 1: do you think women like fail at the worst with
Speaker 1: with that? Yeah? Well, I think, first of all, um,
Speaker 1: we're still kind of new to the workplace in relative terms,
Speaker 1: and so there's so much fear of you know, being
Speaker 1: replaced if we're not doing enough. Um, we're never good enough.
Speaker 1: We're being judged on a whole different set of criteria.
Speaker 1: So there's all of that going on, and then we've
Speaker 1: got all of the um family and lifestyle stuff to
Speaker 1: contend with two. So, I mean, we talk about it's
Speaker 1: no secret that women are making less money and they're
Speaker 1: also doing oftentimes double the workload if you take into
Speaker 1: consideration the life aspects. So yeah, we're doing work and
Speaker 1: then also kids stuff, so we're like double everything. What
Speaker 1: is the best way to prioritize? Well, I think the
Speaker 1: very first thing is is to stop and throw out
Speaker 1: everything that you all the ships in your life of
Speaker 1: you know, how you got here UM and ask yourself
Speaker 1: what do I want to be doing? Who am I,
Speaker 1: what are my goals? What are my values? And then,
Speaker 1: very in a very calculated way, spa end three, four
Speaker 1: or five days and write down every single thing you're
Speaker 1: doing in a day from the time you get up
Speaker 1: to the time you go to sleep, and put the
Speaker 1: first list about what you want to be doing and
Speaker 1: the second list of how you're actually spending your time,
Speaker 1: and look at how very different those two things are
Speaker 1: and start to say, I need to be doing more
Speaker 1: things in my day that move the needle about in
Speaker 1: a very concentrated way and where I want to go,
Speaker 1: And without doing that very rudimentary analysis, you're just kind
Speaker 1: of spinning your wheels trying to get again more stuff
Speaker 1: checked off lists, which don't really move the needle for you.
Speaker 1: They're moving the needle for somebody else, somebody else's agendia.
Speaker 1: But if you're not being conscientious and conscious about um,
Speaker 1: where you're going and the moves you're making, you're helping
Speaker 1: somebody else get some their stuff done, not you. And
Speaker 1: that's why often at the end of the week you
Speaker 1: feel so exhausted and you go, oh, where did the
Speaker 1: week go? You never want to be saying that, right,
Speaker 1: you want to go exactly where you spent your time.
Speaker 1: Then you can be tired, but you don't want to
Speaker 1: be exhausted, you know, like emotionally and from an energy
Speaker 1: point to view here and you said something in there
Speaker 1: when you talked about having goals, and that's something I
Speaker 1: know earlier in my life I struggled with, because you know,
Speaker 1: how detail do you make your goals? How short term,
Speaker 1: how long term? What kind of advice can you give
Speaker 1: for people, especially young professionals, to really set goals, what
Speaker 1: kind and how to get to them totally. Um, this
Speaker 1: is such a great question because I get it all
Speaker 1: the time through my blog as well. You want to
Speaker 1: really find a balance, So you've got to you've got
Speaker 1: to find the dreamer. And you like, what are those
Speaker 1: big goals that you want to achieve in life? But
Speaker 1: if you just have those, it's so hard to get
Speaker 1: to them that often if you're not getting there quick,
Speaker 1: you face a real lack of motivation and you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm not getting there, I'm not getting I'm failing. So
Speaker 1: you want to have the big goals, but then you
Speaker 1: need to have the small micro goals kind of like
Speaker 1: your monthly and your weekly goals set out that are
Speaker 1: so in a very concentrated way, you've got small victories
Speaker 1: in a way to measure how you're going. You know
Speaker 1: which way the winds are sailing and what track you're on.
Speaker 1: That are ultimate cumulatively moving towards those big benchmark, bucket
Speaker 1: list dreams that you want to go to. So you
Speaker 1: you want to think big. In other words, you can't
Speaker 1: just have small goals that are very achievable. That's boring
Speaker 1: and not inspirational. But you can't just have the big,
Speaker 1: lofty goals without the smaller kind of tactical goals to
Speaker 1: make to get there. But I mean, like, how because
Speaker 1: that that sounds great? But then I'm like, but like
Speaker 1: I feel like the jump start, It's like, how do
Speaker 1: you jump start that? Well, the very first thing, in
Speaker 1: my opinion, that you have to do, and I say
Speaker 1: this for many things, but specifically for goals, and it
Speaker 1: sounds really simple, but it is to me the core
Speaker 1: of everything. You have to sit with yourself and literally
Speaker 1: write things down pen to paper or clickwords onto your screen.
Speaker 1: I'm a pen to paper girl. Uh, start literally mapping
Speaker 1: it out. What are the things that make me tick?
Speaker 1: Write a list, what are the jobs or what are
Speaker 1: the creative endeavors that I can do to get there?
Speaker 1: Write that down? Now, how do I take this? And this?
Speaker 1: It's literally basic equations and you start to you start
Speaker 1: to get a map together, you start to get a
Speaker 1: plan together. Also, once you have things written down, you
Speaker 1: become accountable. When you live in your head or I
Speaker 1: want to do this, I want to do that, da
Speaker 1: da da da, but so many other things come into
Speaker 1: your brain and you kind of get off truck. When
Speaker 1: you have something written down in black and white. It's
Speaker 1: the same thing also with having mentors, finding one or
Speaker 1: two really great mentors. They hold you accountable. So when
Speaker 1: you're talking to them, it's the same thing as writing
Speaker 1: it down. You can't kind of escape into the ether
Speaker 1: of like a busy day. At the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you still have that did I get did I move
Speaker 1: towards these goals or didn't die? So, um, how can
Speaker 1: my husband help with because does that? Do you ever
Speaker 1: find that coming in where they can? It's husbands either
Speaker 1: hurt that or help that with your goals or in
Speaker 1: like productivity for women in general, like do we just
Speaker 1: not ask for help doing out? Like that's that's the
Speaker 1: big thing, Like I I find there in my experience,
Speaker 1: the men in my in my life have been really
Speaker 1: willing to help. It's just that women in general, I
Speaker 1: think that they've always got the best way to do things.
Speaker 1: And so like specifically, if you're talking about the home,
Speaker 1: it's like he folded the laundry and it's like, Dad,
Speaker 1: I've got to do that. Well, you know what, he
Speaker 1: doesn't fold the towels right, and he's saying he folds
Speaker 1: them wide ways. I'm like, fuld that skinny, Like you're
Speaker 1: not folding them right, don't do it right right? But
Speaker 1: so that but that's a good example. There's the desire
Speaker 1: that a help and really in how much mental energy
Speaker 1: are you eating up over these towels? I do the
Speaker 1: exact same thing, but it's like ask for help, don't
Speaker 1: don't go in and say your dictate. First of all,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a it's a shared experience. So what
Speaker 1: can you help with? What that's good? What? What am
Speaker 1: I What are my strengths in the house? Okay, let's
Speaker 1: do that as opposed to dictating. Number one, you want
Speaker 1: to have kind of a democratic conversation about you know,
Speaker 1: because maybe he likes doing dishes more and so that's
Speaker 1: what you should do, you know. But that's only going
Speaker 1: to come out from a conversation. Then. The second of
Speaker 1: all is there's no one right way to do things,
Speaker 1: and sometimes women you need to let it go, let
Speaker 1: those control things go so you can keep that energy
Speaker 1: um for for stuff that moves your life forward in
Speaker 1: a meaning mooid like towel folding, doesn't you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? I think we can agree on that. Again,
Speaker 1: I do the exact same thing where I'm like, don't
Speaker 1: say anything, don't say anything. And it's you just have
Speaker 1: to practice doing that. And I like what you said
Speaker 1: about ask for help or you know, ask for what
Speaker 1: you need. Going back for a second, when you're talking
Speaker 1: about you know, you're kind of hitting the bottom out
Speaker 1: here in l A. You're in a fetal position. You
Speaker 1: had all those feelings, nothing was working. Who did you
Speaker 1: reach out to how did you get yourself, you know,
Speaker 1: into that line of goals and kind of climbing your
Speaker 1: way back out of that well. I mean, because I
Speaker 1: was kind of out here flying solo, which was like
Speaker 1: one of the big problems. Um. I I really relied
Speaker 1: on myself in that moment, right in that actual moment.
Speaker 1: And one of the scariest things in that moment was
Speaker 1: not that I didn't have money, I had no car,
Speaker 1: my house was being foreclosed up. All those things were terrifying,
Speaker 1: But the thing that was the most scary to me
Speaker 1: is that I moved down to Los Angeles because I
Speaker 1: heard a voice in myself. I listened to a voice
Speaker 1: in myself that said, I'm you have this creative side
Speaker 1: of you. I was on a fast track to law school.
Speaker 1: I was a professional academic, a plus student, and I
Speaker 1: chose to throw all that away and listened to myself.
Speaker 1: And so when I was in those that moment, I
Speaker 1: was like, I listened to myself and I was wrong
Speaker 1: and and that was the scariest thing ever. And so
Speaker 1: once I had that realization and I was, you know,
Speaker 1: shaking in my boots like I didn't I don't know
Speaker 1: who I am anymore because I trusted myself and I
Speaker 1: that obviously didn't work. Then I was able to talk
Speaker 1: to UM two people in particular, and say, I'm having
Speaker 1: this feeling and and and it was through those conversations
Speaker 1: that said, then you have to double down on that feeling,
Speaker 1: even though it feels like you have completely gone off
Speaker 1: off track. That's the only thing anybody ever has in life,
Speaker 1: is that feeling. And so it was it's a two
Speaker 1: part to answer question number one. I had to rely myself.
Speaker 1: But it was through conversations with two people I respect
Speaker 1: dearly and are still very prominent in my life that
Speaker 1: that allowed me to still believe in that voice. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would have believed in it
Speaker 1: still given my situation, if I hadn't have had UM
Speaker 1: the voice of two people I really respected saying it's
Speaker 1: scary as hell. But you that's the only thing you have.
Speaker 1: That's amazing, especially because I feel like people have the
Speaker 1: misconception when they ask for help, they're expecting hand outs,
Speaker 1: and that's not where these people gave you. They just
Speaker 1: give you the encouragement and the confidence to believe that
Speaker 1: your initial feelings. So that's empowering. I like that my
Speaker 1: whole opinion. My opinion is that asking for help is
Speaker 1: one of the strongest moves you can make. UM and people,
Speaker 1: you know, people a lot of times there are two
Speaker 1: reasons people don't ask for help. Number one because they think, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not I don't want to show that I can't
Speaker 1: do this. And number two, I don't want to bother
Speaker 1: that person. You know, I don't think they're very busy.
Speaker 1: And the fact of the matter is, Um, anytime I've
Speaker 1: ever asked for help, people have been so receptive. People
Speaker 1: want to help you. That is in you, that's human nature.
Speaker 1: And for me, when I get asked for help, I
Speaker 1: considered an honor and a privilege. Really it's like if
Speaker 1: somebody trusts me to help them, especially with the really
Speaker 1: important stuff, So ask for help. UM, But don't ask
Speaker 1: for help if you haven't already done the work. Nothing
Speaker 1: irritates me more than someone that wants me to do
Speaker 1: the work for them, you know. So there we have
Speaker 1: to draw when someone says, like I want help losing weight, well,
Speaker 1: then put down the eminem exactly. I can't help you
Speaker 1: if you're not going to like do your exactly. So, So,
Speaker 1: once you've done the work in your intention to to
Speaker 1: do well or get better whatever is is there, ask
Speaker 1: for help work can listeners find you and like obviously
Speaker 1: your book and everything. Yeah, so my book is available
Speaker 1: on Amazon. But I have a blog called Picked the Brain,
Speaker 1: and I'm at Pick the Brain, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: Pick the Brain has been named over a hundred Best
Speaker 1: of the Web lists, and Forbes named it one of
Speaker 1: the top most congratulations. Do you have worksheets or work? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: in the book there's at every chapter there's a there's
Speaker 1: a work section. It's a you know, the first time
Speaker 1: in ten years to write a productivity book. It's fantastic.
Speaker 1: Let me ask one more question. I'm sorry, honey, I
Speaker 1: know this is you know you kind of said it's
Speaker 1: it's you know, a little bit more women woman driven. Um,
Speaker 1: but I do say and I struggle with this at
Speaker 1: times where even if I've had a productive day or
Speaker 1: what I feel like it has been a productive day,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I'm still just like
Speaker 1: I feel like I could could have done more. Right,
Speaker 1: it's a whole like I don't feel good enough feeling.
Speaker 1: How do you like give yourself the confidence be like, no,
Speaker 1: I did enough? Is that is that checklist? What is it? Well?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the thing is that when you're
Speaker 1: doing something you really really love. So I think you've
Speaker 1: got to make a distinction. If you're doing some things
Speaker 1: that you really really love and you're like, I feel
Speaker 1: like I could do more. I think that's just a
Speaker 1: natural passion. If you're if you're doing something that you
Speaker 1: don't love and you're like in general you're and you're like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'd be doing more. I feel like
Speaker 1: I do more, that's just that's filling up a hole
Speaker 1: that needs to be filled by something else. Right. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, even when you're doing something that you really love,
Speaker 1: you have to know that you are still central to
Speaker 1: that and you need to take time out for yourself.
Speaker 1: You need to find balance for yourself. These things are
Speaker 1: important for the longevity of your project. Right. If you don't.
Speaker 1: So you need to make a choice. Am I going
Speaker 1: to sit here and guilt thinking that I could be
Speaker 1: still getting more done because I'm so excited about this,
Speaker 1: Or you're gonna say, I'm gonna play the long game
Speaker 1: on this and make the tough choice to train myself
Speaker 1: to relax, to do to find other to find balance
Speaker 1: in my life, right, Because it's all about finding balance
Speaker 1: if you want to again, play the long game. So
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, making the choice to
Speaker 1: relax or go out for dinner or as long as
Speaker 1: it's a choice, you're doing well. But those are just
Speaker 1: as important as choosing to get one more thing done
Speaker 1: off off the list. So um, as long as you're
Speaker 1: making it a choice and you make that habit to
Speaker 1: make these choices, you become you feel less and less
Speaker 1: guilty because you've got control. When you're making choices, you've
Speaker 1: got control. I feel like it's so great for like
Speaker 1: guys too. So it's like, why, why why is it
Speaker 1: just focus on women? I wanted Yeah, I wanted to
Speaker 1: say so the first half there's two parts of the book,
Speaker 1: and the first half of the book is really talking
Speaker 1: about female and the female psyche and how we got
Speaker 1: the you know, the history of women in the workplace.
Speaker 1: The second part of the book is completely tactical and
Speaker 1: is completely gender neutral, and I highly recommend reading it
Speaker 1: their exercises at the end. So it's about time tracking,
Speaker 1: really understanding how you're spending your time, who you're spending
Speaker 1: your time with. It's just as important as how you're
Speaker 1: spending your time, because we all know they're the people
Speaker 1: that bring us down and the people that bring us up.
Speaker 1: And I always say the test is when your phone
Speaker 1: rings and you see a name on the call displayed,
Speaker 1: you go or you go, oh yes, and you jumped
Speaker 1: to ticket and you started started analyzing that and you
Speaker 1: know what. So so anyway, so those are just some
Speaker 1: examples of of of and then how to use the
Speaker 1: internet in the most productive way, what apps to use
Speaker 1: and so you can start freeing up your time, um
Speaker 1: with less menial tasks that don't really matter to you
Speaker 1: and drain your energy. So how do we get rid
Speaker 1: of the Yeah, yeah, well those are relationships. You're responsible
Speaker 1: for how people treat you, and you're responsible for the
Speaker 1: people in your life, right, and so if you're constantly
Speaker 1: picking up the phone call up of a phone call
Speaker 1: where you've got the h Well, then you're training that
Speaker 1: person to keep calling you and dropping those problems on
Speaker 1: your lap. Um. It's just that simple. Um. With responsibility
Speaker 1: comes a percent freedom. You want to be free, take responsibility.
Speaker 1: Those those people need to be marginalized or at least controlled. Um.
Speaker 1: Where it's like, if if you're fine to hang with
Speaker 1: that person on Saturday afternoon or take a phone call,
Speaker 1: if you're fine with that, then you need to train
Speaker 1: them to be only calling you at that time. And
Speaker 1: how do you train them, Well, you don't answer the
Speaker 1: call when they call in the middle of the work day,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But I've told my dad
Speaker 1: not to leave voicemails about fifty million times. It still
Speaker 1: leaves me a damn. I don't listen to it. Never
Speaker 1: listen to voicemail. Why are you leaving me a three
Speaker 1: minute voicemail? And then they keep getting longer. I'm not
Speaker 1: listening to your voicemail. It's full. So it's like, how
Speaker 1: do you train someone that's not trainable? Right? Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I think in that scenario you can just
Speaker 1: kind of see the humor in it because you're not
Speaker 1: It's not like you're taking the time to then listen
Speaker 1: to those messages and get back to him. So I
Speaker 1: think that bothers me, though it's still annoys me. It's
Speaker 1: very as I told you, that's the same problem with
Speaker 1: my mom has leaving me these long voicemails. I just
Speaker 1: don't listen to them. So the idea is, if you
Speaker 1: want me to respond to something, don't leave me a voicemail,
Speaker 1: don't don't leave me voice message. If text is better
Speaker 1: for you, then those are the things I'm going to
Speaker 1: respond to in a meaningful way. Otherwise you're so out,
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to listen to this because you left,
Speaker 1: So you kind of just don't let it be, yeah,
Speaker 1: because that's what's the point, that's then ruining your activity.
Speaker 1: But I know three minutes out of my day that
Speaker 1: I don't want to listen to your message. No, it's exactly.
Speaker 1: It's like you've already read my book, I know. But
Speaker 1: there I know people that will listen to those messages
Speaker 1: and be irritated for three minutes listening to you yourself
Speaker 1: to respond. But that's on you. So you're, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: you're doing the right thing, and you don't want get
Speaker 1: aggressive with your dad and starts you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: I have but not healthy, and it's like it's I mean,
Speaker 1: but but then again, it's like it makes me want
Speaker 1: to be angry because I've told him, don't leave me
Speaker 1: long messages, don't don't leave me message might be a
Speaker 1: generational is absolutely my mom doesn't illustrating. It's so annoying.
Speaker 1: And then I'll color right back and she'll say, no,
Speaker 1: I didn't because I didn't want you to leave me
Speaker 1: a message. We've gone over this. Yeah, well, I feel
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of insightful stuff that we can
Speaker 1: all take, you know, very to heart. So thank you appreciated, Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. So I'm really excited because I launched my
Speaker 1: business today, the Mom's in Babies Box. And what really
Speaker 1: makes me happy is the fact that if I need
Speaker 1: to mail letters or packages with my small business, it's
Speaker 1: so great because I use stamps dot com. Um you
Speaker 1: can get postage on demand, and it's so great because
Speaker 1: in the very beginning'm like, I don't know how much
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Speaker 1: access all the amazing services of the post office right
Speaker 1: from your desk. Twenty four seven, so on your time
Speaker 1: when you want to get your work done, which is
Speaker 1: great because I do a lot of my work when
Speaker 1: Jolie goes to bed at eight o'clock. So right now,
Speaker 1: use Janna for this special offer. It includes up to
Speaker 1: fifty five dollars of free postage, a digital scale, and
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Speaker 1: like like I feel like mom life is just automatically
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Speaker 1: I'm really excited because as I have, I never thought
Speaker 1: I would say this. By the way, my business partner
Speaker 1: in studio today, um miss Sarah Boyd Sarah for everyone
Speaker 1: here can and my listeners obviously, can you just tell
Speaker 1: everyone what you do because we not only work together
Speaker 1: on our new business, but we also work together on
Speaker 1: Instagram and socials so boom. Yeah. So my background is MPR.
Speaker 1: I did that for about ten years, starting my own
Speaker 1: company seven years ago, where we do events where we
Speaker 1: connect people in the influencer space and then we also
Speaker 1: represent manage celebrities in the digital space, so we help
Speaker 1: them advised, monetized do all the things in terms of
Speaker 1: social and digital which is amazing. So name some of
Speaker 1: your clients Janna Kramer, Um, Olivia Culpo, Jamie Chung, Cat
Speaker 1: Sadler Um. We've got about nineteen of them, so yeah.
Speaker 1: And then the Bachelor people you've got been Ben Higgins
Speaker 1: Lauren Bush. Now does that ever get weird because they like,
Speaker 1: we're no, Well I actually met him when they were dating,
Speaker 1: so no. But he's like the nicest human ever. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've met him, but he I have well,
Speaker 1: and he doesn't eheart podcast too, so he's definitely like
Speaker 1: in the FAMI and you know Lauren also, I love Lauren,
Speaker 1: but that's every time now, I mean met Like when
Speaker 1: I met that, I almost wanted to be like by
Speaker 1: the way I rent with Lauren, is that okay? Like
Speaker 1: do you do like, well you still like me? I
Speaker 1: don't know, No, he doesn't care. He's the nicest human
Speaker 1: I think I've ever met in my life. And Lauren's
Speaker 1: the same. So they're they're super cool. Yeah yeah, well yeah,
Speaker 1: and Sarah like what's so great too, is you know
Speaker 1: she's introduced me to I feel like you're kind of
Speaker 1: the reason why Michael and I got pregnant because you're
Speaker 1: the one that introduced me. Will not be Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you introduced me to the Ava bracelets. So I mean
Speaker 1: there's so many things that are really cool that kind
Speaker 1: of coming through social media. And yeah, you know, of course,
Speaker 1: like we put add on our Instagram stuff, but it's
Speaker 1: not it works. Everything's very authentic, like you make sure
Speaker 1: that like everything fits with you know, what I do
Speaker 1: and everything. So I think it's really cool. No, Ava
Speaker 1: was great. But then I also love just connecting you
Speaker 1: with other people in social like that whole trip we
Speaker 1: did to NAPA and you met all of these girls
Speaker 1: that now you work with, Like that's also part of
Speaker 1: what I do too, is connecting well, speaking of the
Speaker 1: Napa trip, that's when I came up with this idea. So, um,
Speaker 1: you know we've had there's there's a ton of box subscriptions.
Speaker 1: There's you know, there's a lot of them. But for
Speaker 1: me personally as a mom, I have a really hard
Speaker 1: time just buying something for myself. Usually I buy something
Speaker 1: just for like Jolie, and Michael's always like I will
Speaker 1: go shopping right babe, and then I'll be like, I
Speaker 1: gotta get something, but I end up just leaving with
Speaker 1: stuffer Joliet stuff for me because you get super guilty
Speaker 1: for whatever reason. Dana is like, I want to go
Speaker 1: buy a bat and suit. Then we get to the store,
Speaker 1: She's like, no, I'm okay, and then I don't and
Speaker 1: then I and I still what I do I want
Speaker 1: to Target? So I was like, I'd love to go
Speaker 1: to North Stroom to get a bathing suit for a
Speaker 1: baby moon. And then I was like, no, it's it's okay.
Speaker 1: But like Jolie got something and I got something, but
Speaker 1: I've heard some reason like have a really hard time
Speaker 1: with like getting stuff from my elf. So then I
Speaker 1: was like, man, like, I've never known of a box
Speaker 1: subscription where it could be like moms and kids. So
Speaker 1: obviously Sarah's in this world and she's you know, amazing
Speaker 1: relationships with like brand people. She's got a daughter the
Speaker 1: exact same age as Jolie, and so I came to
Speaker 1: her with this idea and it was called something before
Speaker 1: and then we were kind of brainstorming and we came
Speaker 1: up with the Moms and Babes box and she was like,
Speaker 1: I want to be a part of it. And now
Speaker 1: she's just been so instrumental and making sure like you know,
Speaker 1: getting brands and just like you mean you were like
Speaker 1: the brand genius behind this box, so like, just thank you,
Speaker 1: but I'm so excited, so we want to this is
Speaker 1: today's official launch day, is yeah, so we kind of
Speaker 1: want to run down the products of what's in the box.
Speaker 1: So it's really cool. Um yeah, today is official launch
Speaker 1: of the box. So you can go, I'm Sarah'll let
Speaker 1: you because you're like the business, the business side of it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I'm just like, this is the
Speaker 1: boxing was my idea and none of that's like, now
Speaker 1: come on, give us, give us the deets. No, like today,
Speaker 1: We've been planning this for how many months now? It
Speaker 1: has been a labor of love. Yeah, and um, we're
Speaker 1: so excited that it's happening. Um. So yeah, it's Moms
Speaker 1: and Babes box dot com. And you can get one
Speaker 1: of three boxes or you can go all three if
Speaker 1: you want. Um there's an infant box, a toddler box,
Speaker 1: in a mom box, so depending on how old your
Speaker 1: kid is or if you just want to be completely selfish,
Speaker 1: which is okay. And by the way, the Mom Box,
Speaker 1: let's just talk about that. The Mom Box is actually
Speaker 1: the most expensive box. Um. It's retailed for two forty
Speaker 1: eight but you can get it for They've got the
Speaker 1: amazing concealer. There's a restorative mass that's actually fifty six dollars,
Speaker 1: but again the box is only fifty nine. And then
Speaker 1: there's the there's a bronzer, there's a um, a watermelon
Speaker 1: face mask. There's a uh pretty hair growth growth serum.
Speaker 1: There's a skin inc serum for your face, which is
Speaker 1: again insane. Um. So the mom Box is like loaded
Speaker 1: with my favorite So even if you're not a mom,
Speaker 1: this mom Box is like bang in with like the
Speaker 1: best like face products. Yeah, it's amazing, and you know,
Speaker 1: we wanted to create something that was good for moms
Speaker 1: that are busy and they're tired and they don't be
Speaker 1: like walking out and shopping and they need something to
Speaker 1: like kind of pick them up. So a face mask,
Speaker 1: your hair is falling out, hair growth scerum, you know,
Speaker 1: like I know, so that one, that one definitely has
Speaker 1: the best best value. But again for me, why I
Speaker 1: started this is because I wanted to have something where
Speaker 1: it was I got something, but also my kids. So
Speaker 1: there's an infant in a toddler box where um, some
Speaker 1: stuff is for the infant and then some stuff for
Speaker 1: the mom. So in the infant there's the we you
Speaker 1: want to talk about the infant box. Yeah, so, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys know about Aiden in a nase.
Speaker 1: They are like the very best. My son lived in
Speaker 1: the saddle. I had like fifteen of them and use
Speaker 1: them for everything. So they put a swaddle blanket in UM.
Speaker 1: There's also also this brand called Beblove and it's whenever
Speaker 1: I give my daughter a bath, she's screaming because water
Speaker 1: gets in her eyes. So this is a little hat
Speaker 1: they wear in the bathtub so the water doesn't get there.
Speaker 1: I saw that instagram um Sprout a pouch from Sprout,
Speaker 1: and then Well Elements put two products in, which is
Speaker 1: the vitamin D drops and gripewater. So gripewater just side note,
Speaker 1: I give every new mom grapewater. It's it's a secret.
Speaker 1: I discovered it three months in and I was like,
Speaker 1: wait what, Yeah, it gets sort of hiccups. It's it's
Speaker 1: like savior absolutely um. So that's in there. And then
Speaker 1: the Borders butt paste, the best, the best but paste
Speaker 1: on the market. But then we don't want to forget
Speaker 1: the mom because we also have the Bronzer to make
Speaker 1: you feel like looking pretty and then a really nice
Speaker 1: face mask too, um to go in with that, and
Speaker 1: then the toddler box. Um again like all my daughter
Speaker 1: really cares about right now is just like coloring. So
Speaker 1: there's cryans and chalk, and then the m a great bathset,
Speaker 1: and then of course you know, um, the skin inc
Speaker 1: which is heaven on Earth for this baby magic. That's that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my son six and I still use this. Let's good
Speaker 1: stuff for your skin. It's it's really good and you
Speaker 1: want to keep that baby smell as long as you can,
Speaker 1: I know. So we're just really excited about it again.
Speaker 1: It launches today. You can go to www. Dot Mom's
Speaker 1: and babes box dot com and boxes are but go ahead,
Speaker 1: my business lady. We've got a code for you. It's
Speaker 1: for ten dollars off your first box. You can use
Speaker 1: Moms and Babes so use that. You get ten dollars
Speaker 1: off your first box. If you want just one box,
Speaker 1: you can do that, or you could subscribe for you know,
Speaker 1: to get it every quarter so every three months. If
Speaker 1: you do that, you get another ten percent off, so
Speaker 1: double the savings. People. If people sign up for the subscription,
Speaker 1: can they change what box they want to get or
Speaker 1: if they sign up for mom just the Mom's boxing
Speaker 1: question answer. You can log in and you can change
Speaker 1: it anytime because you know obviously your baby is going
Speaker 1: to get older, um, so you can change. You know,
Speaker 1: we have a lot of questions to like I have
Speaker 1: a toddler and an infant? Can I switch back and forth? Yes,
Speaker 1: you can log in whenever you want and change your
Speaker 1: next box? Is it monthly? Is it quarterly? Quarterly? Quarterly?
Speaker 1: And Mike, are you going to add a add box?
Speaker 1: Dad's and Dudes? You want to do a d I
Speaker 1: just don't think guys would buy the subscription, but the
Speaker 1: wives would buy Easton would Yeah, maybe if you did,
Speaker 1: if we did something where you did you know you
Speaker 1: guys do quarterly, right, but then you do a fifth
Speaker 1: bonus box or something. Yeah, that's that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: We should do a Dad's and Dude is just for
Speaker 1: like one run, just like, oh my god, guys are
Speaker 1: not getting a percentage, goes to me. We should throw
Speaker 1: some beer in there, like make it like do friendly
Speaker 1: some beef, jerky dude supers. It's a really good idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks babe, Well, Sarah, thank you, like seriously so much.
Speaker 1: I'm really excited for our launch today and to all
Speaker 1: the moms out there again like this is this is
Speaker 1: great for you. You can share and the whole thing
Speaker 1: it's about just like having a box that comes for
Speaker 1: both of you, guys. And again, don't feel don't feel
Speaker 1: bad about being selfish if you just want your own
Speaker 1: box for yourself, for if your kids are outgrown the toddler,
Speaker 1: because the mom boxes banging and it's a great gift
Speaker 1: for new moms right Like I remember when I had
Speaker 1: a baby, I had a hundred flower bouquets and they
Speaker 1: died in a week. Like this is such a great
Speaker 1: gift that keeps giving for a new mom that needs it.
Speaker 1: Www dot Moms and Babies box dot com. So for
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Speaker 1: Umy just tell you really fast about my hair because
Speaker 1: it's really nice right now, and it's because I'm taking
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Speaker 1: slash Janna sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Jana. Al Right, guys,
Speaker 1: we have an incredible guest in our studio today, Malika
Speaker 1: Chopra for the studio. Um, no relation to actual the father. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Deep Deep Okay, let's we're talking about someone else, would
Speaker 1: you like? Okay? And I just love deepop Every time
Speaker 1: his name is brought up, I just get goose bumps.
Speaker 1: Like I brought everything and I worked with of it Oprah.
Speaker 1: So you know, it's like he was the most incredible
Speaker 1: person I was never like in front of talent wise
Speaker 1: because he's so smart and so present away. And is
Speaker 1: that how you kind of now followed his path in
Speaker 1: a way somewhat? You know, I found my own path
Speaker 1: actually when I became a mom. So we grew up
Speaker 1: with my dad, you know, doing his thing, but we
Speaker 1: never really engaged in it that much until it became
Speaker 1: more relevant to our own lives. So I mean, and
Speaker 1: now you're an author, which is incredible. You have a
Speaker 1: new book out called Just Breathe, Meditation, Mindfulness, a movement
Speaker 1: and more so, what is what is one thing that
Speaker 1: like more Americans can be doing that is just breathing
Speaker 1: and being more mindful of what they're doing in their
Speaker 1: daily life? Or yes, So I wrote this book when
Speaker 1: um my kids were about six to ten years old,
Speaker 1: and it's a look an illustrated guide on meditation, Mindful,
Speaker 1: the Miss Yoga Motivation four Kids, written for eight to
Speaker 1: twelve year olds. And I really took inspiration from my
Speaker 1: own life. I learned how to meditate when I was nine,
Speaker 1: and um really have had like a career of seeing
Speaker 1: how these practices affect families and children, and so I
Speaker 1: wanted to write something that was four kids, Can you
Speaker 1: share with us a mindfulness activity that moms can do
Speaker 1: with their kids when they first wake up in the
Speaker 1: morning or right before they go to sleep or are
Speaker 1: there are two different ones that we can do in
Speaker 1: the morning and at night. Yes. So there's so many
Speaker 1: simple techniques and that's why in this book I really
Speaker 1: focused on one to two minute techniques. So the first
Speaker 1: one is literally just breathing, so um, just taking a
Speaker 1: deep breath, breathing in, say to the count of three,
Speaker 1: pausing and then breathing out. And what that does is
Speaker 1: often take us from like an automatic fight flight anxiety
Speaker 1: onst situations to being more grounded. Um. But what I
Speaker 1: do suggest to do with kids is at the end
Speaker 1: of the day to think about something that you're grateful for, uh.
Speaker 1: And that's a really nice way to just kind of
Speaker 1: anchor the day. And then in the beginning of the day,
Speaker 1: what I try to do is set an intention for
Speaker 1: the day, So think of something you want to experience today,
Speaker 1: whether it's like connecting with a friend or feeling inspired
Speaker 1: or having energy. So those are simple things to do
Speaker 1: with kids. Those are great. Those are great activities. What
Speaker 1: do you suggest in the middle of a meltdown? What
Speaker 1: they toddler to bring them back into the moment. So
Speaker 1: I think I suggest first a parent stop and take
Speaker 1: a deep breath. So actually, um, literally stop as is
Speaker 1: for stop, tias for take a breath, oh is, just
Speaker 1: observe what's happening in your body and then react because um,
Speaker 1: when kids have tantrums, they also are reflecting, often with
Speaker 1: the parents and how they're reacting. So um. And then
Speaker 1: I actually, you know, we used to do things like
Speaker 1: take a time in instead of a time out. Um,
Speaker 1: So again just focusing on breathing. Um. And sometimes you
Speaker 1: just got to let the kid have the tantrum and
Speaker 1: just be present and let them do it, and then
Speaker 1: they'll get over it and you move on. How about teens,
Speaker 1: tweens and teens. Can we use the same techniques with
Speaker 1: them or is there something else that works better with say,
Speaker 1: teen girls who are a little over emotional and um,
Speaker 1: having trouble you know, staying grounded and all of that.
Speaker 1: So I have two girls, Um, there's sixteen and fourteens
Speaker 1: who are in the midst of the teenage thing. Um,
Speaker 1: and teens definitely, and especially girls. There are so many
Speaker 1: issues boys and girls, but from social media to body image,
Speaker 1: to bullying to all the cattiness. And so that's actually
Speaker 1: why I wrote this book UM, is to start giving
Speaker 1: kids empowering tools to think about how they want to
Speaker 1: control their own life. So UM, I do recommend again
Speaker 1: short exercises where kids can just find some quiet UM
Speaker 1: because then they get more connected with themselves and can
Speaker 1: approach every day UM feeling more empowered in knowing who
Speaker 1: they are and that they actually control situations and how
Speaker 1: they react to things. So the book is actually filled
Speaker 1: with many many exercises really focused on that age group.
Speaker 1: What's the worst habit that we can do? UM, when
Speaker 1: like our daughters having a temper tantrum, Like, what's the
Speaker 1: worst thing that we can either Is it starting on
Speaker 1: the TV? Is it giving them food? Like, what's the
Speaker 1: worst thing to like stop them from their temper tantrum?
Speaker 1: So I think it's different ages. You said you had
Speaker 1: two and a half two and a half. I think
Speaker 1: with a two and a half year old, it's very
Speaker 1: different than a fourteen year old. So the two and
Speaker 1: a half year old, you know, sometimes they that's how
Speaker 1: they're starting to express themselves. So UM, I think not
Speaker 1: reacting to them. In fact, I think often up parents
Speaker 1: get really angry or frustrated. Let them kind of acted out,
Speaker 1: but also let them know that that's not not don't
Speaker 1: give in to what they're having the tant temper tantrum
Speaker 1: for because I think once you start doing that, you
Speaker 1: actually create a pattern for their whole life that they
Speaker 1: know that if they throw a tantrum, they may get
Speaker 1: the benefit of it. So UM for that age, I
Speaker 1: would recommend it. As kids grow older, especially in the
Speaker 1: teenage years, what I've learned from my daughters is, um,
Speaker 1: if you engage too much in the drama, for example,
Speaker 1: like they've had some fight with their friend and suddenly
Speaker 1: you know you're involved in all the melodrama of it.
Speaker 1: Often um, their stories are really um exaggerated versions of
Speaker 1: what happened. So don't kind of just immediately jump on
Speaker 1: the bandwagon with their emotional drama. Look at and all
Speaker 1: the work that you've done with children. Is there a
Speaker 1: big you know, change or discrepancy between what you would
Speaker 1: advise adults to practice in mindfulness meditation as opposed to
Speaker 1: it's like, is it just more simplistic for children or
Speaker 1: is it kind of the same. Honestly, it's the same thing.
Speaker 1: So one of the feedbacks I'm getting from my book,
Speaker 1: which was written for eight to twelve year olds, is
Speaker 1: that a lot of adults I think it's the easiest
Speaker 1: meditation book they've read. Um. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: especially for adults, there is a lot of intellectualization of
Speaker 1: this stuff, when honestly, it's really simple. It's just simple
Speaker 1: techniques of breathing, being quiet, observing your body, being mindful,
Speaker 1: so mindful, walking, mindful eating things like that. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be complicated. UM. What I would recommend, and
Speaker 1: this is a strong parenting advice to parents who are
Speaker 1: listening out there, is don't force your kids to meditate. UM.
Speaker 1: And I know that from my own experience with my dad,
Speaker 1: which is UM, rather as parents, do your practice and
Speaker 1: your kids will follow you, and UM. Kids also, let
Speaker 1: them try it for a minute, thirty seconds, five minutes,
Speaker 1: you know, let them figure it out. And that's why
Speaker 1: I wrote this book to empower kids directly rather than
Speaker 1: kind of going through parents. That's amazing. Now, the last
Speaker 1: couple of years I've tried to get into some kind
Speaker 1: of meditation practice and I have a d D and
Speaker 1: I have a hard time. I've tried my UM like
Speaker 1: guided meditation. That's where I found when I can do it,
Speaker 1: that's kind of the route to goo. Do you have
Speaker 1: any suggestions for with you know, children with short attention
Speaker 1: spans or adults like myself that kind of have that
Speaker 1: same issue. Yes. So the main thing is don't get
Speaker 1: stressed about not meditating, because that's beside the point. And so,
Speaker 1: you know, it's so true. I'm saying with a guy
Speaker 1: and I'm like, they're like, think about a stream, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I doing tomorrow? I'm like, oh God,
Speaker 1: I sing? And then it's like student is not working
Speaker 1: in the It's like your mind is always going to wander.
Speaker 1: We cannot technically empty our minds. That's like that's a misperception, um.
Speaker 1: And so you know, and meditation is not about like
Speaker 1: sitting in lotus position and just being still. So the
Speaker 1: goal of this book is to present many different techniques
Speaker 1: and figure out what works for you. So for some people, UM,
Speaker 1: they need to move and that's a big part of kids. UM.
Speaker 1: So that's why maybe it's movement, meditation, walking, meditation, yoga
Speaker 1: poses for many people even in their runs and things
Speaker 1: like that. Um, So you know, there are many different techniques.
Speaker 1: Um So, like when he's working out in the garage,
Speaker 1: like lifting weights, like he can do a guided meditation
Speaker 1: during that. Not even that, I would say, even be
Speaker 1: just observe what your body is going through. But try
Speaker 1: to do it without music, you know, so you know
Speaker 1: that you're really more aware of your body. So that's
Speaker 1: just a really simple way to be more mindful of
Speaker 1: your body and what you're going through. I think so
Speaker 1: many of us distract ourselves constantly with either podcasts or
Speaker 1: news or music. Consider exactly, Yeah, just the one. But
Speaker 1: you know, try to spend two minutes just being quiet
Speaker 1: and actually observing your body, and you will see that
Speaker 1: you start, um feeling more connected. I like what you
Speaker 1: said about don't feel stressed about not meditating, and so said,
Speaker 1: is that still beneficial meditation? If you're sitting there and
Speaker 1: you're thinking about maybe the rest of your day, you're
Speaker 1: thinking about what you have coming up this week, but
Speaker 1: you're still just sitting there and being present, that is
Speaker 1: that still beneficial? Yes? So it is. And then again,
Speaker 1: there are some techniques that help you, um kind of
Speaker 1: deal with wandering thoughts. So one meditation I recommend is
Speaker 1: just repeating the words I am, I am. And now
Speaker 1: what happens is your attention will drift away. That's totally normal,
Speaker 1: natural and exactly what your minds supposed to do. And actually, um,
Speaker 1: one can learn from the fact that if you can't
Speaker 1: slow your mind down, it actually probably means you need
Speaker 1: it more. Um. And so actually just even having that
Speaker 1: racing mind is a form of releasing stress. Um. And
Speaker 1: so you know it actually has many benefits even just
Speaker 1: sitting interesting. Wow, Well, I think that's really amazing. So
Speaker 1: we're Um, your book now is out I mean everywhere, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: people for you there will be out everywhere. Amazon is
Speaker 1: amazone and then where else can our listens find you?
Speaker 1: So I have a website Molica Chopra dot com. It's
Speaker 1: m A L L I K A choke run dot
Speaker 1: com and um, I have several books and blog and
Speaker 1: all over so you can find everything there. Well, thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm excited because I need to just I think a
Speaker 1: good tip is just to start, even if it's two
Speaker 1: minutes to even listen to the radio, absolutely and just
Speaker 1: to you can do it. Yeah, I love fascinating I'm incredible.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: So we got a lot of emails, and I really
Speaker 1: enjoyed the genre of email. We got busted doing it.
Speaker 1: What do you mean because last week you talked about
Speaker 1: how that's fun you're with your boyfriend best your mom
Speaker 1: put the letter out of the door. That was hilarious.
Speaker 1: We have a bunch of these. So this is from
Speaker 1: an anonymous email learned. Big fan, by the way, been
Speaker 1: following you since the Onetrey Hill days as a country
Speaker 1: music artist. I saw you playing Utah once your podcast
Speaker 1: at the first podcast I've ever listened to, and I
Speaker 1: can't thank you enough for It's not It's very sweet.
Speaker 1: She was She was sixteen, just short of her seventeenth birthday.
Speaker 1: Her boyfriend was eighteen. We were at my house and
Speaker 1: my parents were at a party. We were just about
Speaker 1: to do the thing when we heard my parents come home.
Speaker 1: I've never seen a person get dressed so fast. He
Speaker 1: hid and I just laid in my bed, completely covered up,
Speaker 1: and when my parents came in, I pretended it didn't
Speaker 1: feel good and said it must have been something we
Speaker 1: ate on our date. My parents left and we continued
Speaker 1: to have sex upstairs, I guess, and they just continued
Speaker 1: and then but then the little plot twist. I guess.
Speaker 1: She says, my number is one. That was my boyfriend Kyle.
Speaker 1: He is now my husband. See that been together since
Speaker 1: I was fourteen. I'm thirty two now, and I was
Speaker 1: pregnant with our first baby. Stories. I think that's amazing.
Speaker 1: Do you think they ever told to please? I mean,
Speaker 1: you're married with a kid, you have to tell your parents.
Speaker 1: So if you haven't, tell it, because I think that's
Speaker 1: a really funny story. And Christmas Eve a few wine. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If not, you need to find her and have her
Speaker 1: on and then have her call her parents. That's so fun.
Speaker 1: I would love I know, that's really really really cute.
Speaker 1: All right, the next email, we actually have the caller
Speaker 1: on the lines. Let me directly with her. She's going
Speaker 1: to made anonymous for this. This is a tough situation.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend of three years and the father of two
Speaker 1: of my children kids cheated on me when I was
Speaker 1: seven months pregnant. Before cheating, we'd fight about commitment. I
Speaker 1: want to be married. I'm twenty five. We have kids,
Speaker 1: a house, who run a business together. We have a
Speaker 1: golden retriever. I mean, perfect picture family. Yeah, but he refused,
Speaker 1: which made me always feel like there was something wrong
Speaker 1: with me. He talked to his ex all the time.
Speaker 1: I'd catch him. He texted her on Mother's Day of
Speaker 1: seventeen if she ever wanted to have sex. She put
Speaker 1: a screenshot of that on Facebook. Thank you, Wait, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Repeat that. So on Mother Day of seventeen, her boyfriend
Speaker 1: texted his ex saying one to have sex, and the
Speaker 1: ex put that up on Facebook and everyone knows. Oh no, my,
Speaker 1: so he cheated, she says. I came back after the cheating.
Speaker 1: He cheated again with a different girl. I actually showed
Speaker 1: up at her house. Here we are still together now.
Speaker 1: Our battle because I'm constantly accusing me of cheating, which
Speaker 1: I've never But the biggest slap in the face was
Speaker 1: him saying he will not touch another woman and he
Speaker 1: will marry me if I agree to have three sims
Speaker 1: occasionally throughout Oh my god, I have cried for hours.
Speaker 1: I love him, he makes me laugh, he supports me
Speaker 1: and the kids. But I do not think I can
Speaker 1: accept these terms, and I cannot accept him seeing someone else.
Speaker 1: By the way, you're oh my god, John was very
Speaker 1: judgmental and shaming. I'm sorry. I just that was the
Speaker 1: seen the and she's anonymous, so we don't know her anonymous,
Speaker 1: and she's online eleven and here she is. It would
Speaker 1: I just want to say, he hi, him my anonymous girl.
Speaker 1: We're all just like okay, So you have me, Jen,
Speaker 1: my husband, and then the rest of the studio East
Speaker 1: and Mark Tory. Um, we just read your email, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: First of all, do not feel like a moron. Everyone
Speaker 1: just needs to take a big deep breath right now. Ready, Okay,
Speaker 1: who wants to go first? Um? Honey, do you want
Speaker 1: to go first on this one? Oh? Anonymous? Um, My
Speaker 1: heart honestly breaks here. We we have a lot of
Speaker 1: empathy in the studio right now for you and unfortunately
Speaker 1: at least for me. Um. Kind of with the final
Speaker 1: his terms of occasional threesomes, that is not something that
Speaker 1: you should not be in a position to have to
Speaker 1: agree to for someone to marry you. First of all.
Speaker 1: Second of all, even if you did, okay, then you're
Speaker 1: just opening the door for him to to cheat even
Speaker 1: more or do anymore. Because if he tries to throw
Speaker 1: that at your face, well, I technically slept with another
Speaker 1: woman with you and it was a three sum, so
Speaker 1: why can't I it's just gonna it's alecurities about yourself
Speaker 1: and like are only going to get worse too with
Speaker 1: the fact that you know it's I mean that's that's
Speaker 1: could you live? Like? Is that something? I do love
Speaker 1: him enough to be able to live with that? So
Speaker 1: um to be honest, I have already given him one
Speaker 1: okay before our daughter came this is this world. Afterwards,
Speaker 1: I just felt ashamed for one, because like I had
Speaker 1: to get drug to do it, and for two, like
Speaker 1: I just felt like I felt dirty, Like I was
Speaker 1: like I shared something that I would like I hold
Speaker 1: like between him and I, like are our bedroom life
Speaker 1: is very intimate to me and like it's just between
Speaker 1: two people, and I'm just I'm a firm believer of that.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, I disregarded my own
Speaker 1: morals for him and I struggled with it really bad afterwards,
Speaker 1: and he just had like no compassion. He's like, I
Speaker 1: don't understand lesly fun and I'm like it wasn't fun,
Speaker 1: Like it broke my heart to see you with another
Speaker 1: woman like it just like and so like when the
Speaker 1: cheating did happen? All I can think of is like
Speaker 1: how that that scenario went. And I just like and
Speaker 1: like I tormented myself, was like, oh, this is what happened,
Speaker 1: Like it was these new girls, and I was just
Speaker 1: you know, I just don't think I like I told
Speaker 1: must like, I just don't think it'd be fair. Like
Speaker 1: I was like, how would you feel if we flip
Speaker 1: the tables, you know, and you had to see me
Speaker 1: with another man? Like, and he's like, well, I kill him.
Speaker 1: How do you expect me to not build these things?
Speaker 1: Like I'm human? And he just he's like it's totally different.
Speaker 1: Girls changed down there whenever they or with another man.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, A, yeah, that is complete delusional. I mean.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing, Like, A sure this could work
Speaker 1: for some couples, you know where they this. You know,
Speaker 1: I have known couples yeah that do that, and it's
Speaker 1: fine for them. It's fine for the woman, it's fine
Speaker 1: for them, everything's great. But you like your I like,
Speaker 1: I feel your heart hurt. You know. It's like I
Speaker 1: feel you're like pain like I And that's like you
Speaker 1: don't I understand. You guys have three kids together, and
Speaker 1: I know that's got to be so hard because you
Speaker 1: want to, like and you want to be married, you
Speaker 1: want to just be with him, and you know he
Speaker 1: does sound like he does support you on other things
Speaker 1: and he's good to you in other places. But that's
Speaker 1: just that's just so unhealthy. It sounds like to me
Speaker 1: for you, you know, have you guys gone to couples therapy? No,
Speaker 1: he is um. He's like completely gives any emotional like
Speaker 1: anyone really, like even with our kids, Like he has
Speaker 1: a hard time how old is he? It's any five
Speaker 1: as well? And I know he's young because we started
Speaker 1: having baby. He had his first year, but young or
Speaker 1: not I know, year olds and put in the situation,
Speaker 1: you know, like so I just it's it's I don't
Speaker 1: think it's about being young. And I mean, sure you
Speaker 1: could use that excuse, but I don't think that's His
Speaker 1: parents are so different, like this upbringing was so different
Speaker 1: than mine. Like we kind of have we like we've
Speaker 1: argued in the past, like my family is more you know,
Speaker 1: we we celebrate birthdays and we talked about feelings and
Speaker 1: his family's like business business business, like don't much in
Speaker 1: love his weakness, like he's just been raised that way.
Speaker 1: He's his mother's that way, and I like I struggle
Speaker 1: with them, like I don't understand how you have like
Speaker 1: no softness, Like where's there's the soft part of the
Speaker 1: human being. Like it's yeah, business is great and all,
Speaker 1: but like at the end of the day, who you
Speaker 1: share it with? You know, you're closed off so so
Speaker 1: much like I don't want my children to be closed
Speaker 1: off and have emotional problems. No, I don't know. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I hear you. And and also like too with it.
Speaker 1: It's like you, you know, can you live your life?
Speaker 1: Because again, if you guys, if you agree to this,
Speaker 1: you like, like everyone said, here he's going to cheat again,
Speaker 1: Like are you okay with that? Him cheating again? Like
Speaker 1: is that the is that? What would you be okay
Speaker 1: with that? No? I mean like it drives me insane,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I taught it, Like I mean I lost
Speaker 1: it the last time life packed all my kids in
Speaker 1: the car and well that's the thing. You don't want
Speaker 1: your kids around that, you know. I mean, that's just
Speaker 1: I mean time to grow up thinking that's what a
Speaker 1: relationship is. Yeah, And that was aeater. So I think
Speaker 1: like I'm like, oh my gosh, it's karma. Getting back
Speaker 1: at First of all, don't ever say that it's not karma. Bay. Sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, we we see the good people and unfortunately
Speaker 1: things happen and it's but it's nothing that you did.
Speaker 1: There's no karma in that situation at all. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: might have picked people like our our father, but you
Speaker 1: have a chance not to change that. You have a
Speaker 1: chance to be able to you know, they can still
Speaker 1: have a great relationship with him, and you guys can
Speaker 1: comparent amazing. But you should find someone that wants the
Speaker 1: same things as you, which is passion and intimacy and
Speaker 1: just you and in that relationship and relationship commitment that's
Speaker 1: for both of you, you know, not not bringing in
Speaker 1: other people. I think a good plan. I think you
Speaker 1: should start going to individual therapy because I think if
Speaker 1: you start spending time talking to a therapist for forty
Speaker 1: five minutes a week and unloading you, you need to
Speaker 1: release a lot of this and you also need to
Speaker 1: build up your self esteem, um so that you can
Speaker 1: make the decision. Because I mean, girlfriend, put your put
Speaker 1: your walk and shoes on. That deserve so much more.
Speaker 1: You are so young, you have just how much time
Speaker 1: to restart, you know, And then years on the line,
Speaker 1: you can think, thank god I got out of that
Speaker 1: page that I was trapped in because especially now, and
Speaker 1: I can understand where therapy might seem scary, but also
Speaker 1: financially it can be a struggle sometimes because I understand
Speaker 1: that stuff gets pricey, but it would be worth the investment,
Speaker 1: would be worth looking into. And like Mark just said,
Speaker 1: unless you're okay to cut ties now, because if you
Speaker 1: can do it now, yes, but even so, I still
Speaker 1: think you should unload this stuff to somebody. But you're
Speaker 1: going to look back, like Mark just said, you know
Speaker 1: when you're like thirty, and thank god that you did
Speaker 1: this now because your kids are going to be in
Speaker 1: a better place. You're going to be in a better place.
Speaker 1: And like you said earlier that you know your kids,
Speaker 1: you don't want your kids to be exposed to this.
Speaker 1: Well now is you're trying to make the decision to
Speaker 1: make sure that they're not. And it doesn't sound like
Speaker 1: to me like he's gonna wake up and change his
Speaker 1: mind and all of a sudden be like you know
Speaker 1: what I want, like just you and I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna work on myself. And he doesn't sound like a
Speaker 1: lifestyle he's going to continue to live. I guess my
Speaker 1: biggest fear is like he's for like the past three years,
Speaker 1: he's told me like, you should appreciate ate the fact
Speaker 1: that I'm being honest, that the most men won't be
Speaker 1: Like that's great that he's honest, but that's not the
Speaker 1: kind of person you want, like Lady Knew, Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's total manipulation. And I mean, Mike, you could be like, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I I told you I cheated, but you know I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I want to keep doing it. Well, okay, thank
Speaker 1: you for telling me. But I don't want to mean
Speaker 1: but I don't want to be I don't want to
Speaker 1: be with something that's not going to be faithful in
Speaker 1: our marriage and or that wants to do these things
Speaker 1: like no, that's not what I that's not what I want.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean, again, kudos for him for telling
Speaker 1: you the truth at the same time, like that's not
Speaker 1: what you want at the end of the day, with
Speaker 1: what he's now asking you to do exactly like I
Speaker 1: just and I don't like, I like, listen to your podcast, right,
Speaker 1: and you guys like said things like how you guys
Speaker 1: like would approach each other with it and how to
Speaker 1: deal with it, and like I finally broke down and
Speaker 1: I was like, I just made you to tell me,
Speaker 1: like what I didn't get? Like what was I not giving?
Speaker 1: Like tell me where I was acting in this relationship
Speaker 1: because I've given you my everything, Like I've given you
Speaker 1: more than I have anyone. You used to put him
Speaker 1: before my kids? And what do you say? And I
Speaker 1: think it's just that I just if I can line
Speaker 1: up a girl, a role of girls, I would just
Speaker 1: want to try them all. You know, it sounds like
Speaker 1: he is a serious issue. Yes, And let me just
Speaker 1: say this too, I'm sorry that you even had to
Speaker 1: ask him that question. And I understand why you'd make
Speaker 1: it personal And when Jane and Jane and I have
Speaker 1: gone through our stuff, you know she still has issues
Speaker 1: with personalizing it. But just no, honestly, it has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with you, by the way, he says that now,
Speaker 1: And I still I'm like, no, it does. I don't
Speaker 1: look like this and I don't look like this, but
Speaker 1: it But when you're in your healthy brain, you can
Speaker 1: you can be like, Okay, it really doesn't. So Janna
Speaker 1: still struggles with that, and that's something that I still
Speaker 1: try to articulate and explain to her, but it's very,
Speaker 1: very difficult. So I'm not saying it's easy that all
Speaker 1: of a sudden you can just flip a switch, but
Speaker 1: just know, try to remind yourself this honestly has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with you. And we are not just saying
Speaker 1: that because Jenna and I lived that every day, okay,
Speaker 1: and I still struggle with it. So it but it
Speaker 1: really truly it's it hasn't It really doesn't have anything
Speaker 1: to do with you. You did not do anything wrong,
Speaker 1: and you're going to be okay, but you need to
Speaker 1: You need to get you need to talk to someone
Speaker 1: and and and get in a better place for you
Speaker 1: and those kids. Lean on the people that love you
Speaker 1: and support you, Okay, get help with the kids where
Speaker 1: you can take care of yourself, because you can't do
Speaker 1: anything for those kids until you take care of yourself.
Speaker 1: We're rooting for your girl. Thank you, guys, Okay, thanks
Speaker 1: for you, honestly, thank you for Sharon the problem. Have
Speaker 1: a good day alright. Bye. Wow. I hope she leaves.
Speaker 1: I hate saying that because it's like I always want
Speaker 1: to give someone the like, but he does not sound
Speaker 1: like he is willing to try to be a potter.
Speaker 1: But even again, again, it's not even just about being
Speaker 1: twenty five or being a child. It's like he just
Speaker 1: he's not willing to like I don't mean he's child
Speaker 1: and maybe his brain he's a child. He's like that.
Speaker 1: He's like a fifteen year old kid looking at duty magazines.
Speaker 1: He's a socio life style. I wonder I was gonna ask.
Speaker 1: I didn't want her to feel obligated to answer and
Speaker 1: give up any information, but I wanted, you know, geographically
Speaker 1: and demographically where geographically where they live and if it's
Speaker 1: I was thinking the same thing, and I didn't thought
Speaker 1: she would be afraid that it would give something, especially
Speaker 1: having kids young and she really needs to work on
Speaker 1: herself because she needs to build up her It just
Speaker 1: breaks my self confident because she leaves because if not,
Speaker 1: she's going to have a miserable, freaking life with him.
Speaker 1: So she hasn't been able to do anything for herself
Speaker 1: when she was seventeen because she's just been having kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not living. Let's lighten things up a bit. Almost
Speaker 1: got caught story. She was fifteen. It was New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1: The guys at the time was eighteen and about to
Speaker 1: leave for boot camp. We went to his church for
Speaker 1: a New Year's Eve party and I was sick and
Speaker 1: drugged up on niqul. He wanted to lose his virginity
Speaker 1: and convinced me to lose mind to him. We sneaked
Speaker 1: into the church weight room and it happened. I lost
Speaker 1: my virginity into the church. I was mortified. I'm probably
Speaker 1: going to help for this. No, you're not. And then
Speaker 1: we did hear from some other virgins. This is a
Speaker 1: male virgin who's thirty three. Oh, by the way, he
Speaker 1: got mad at me. I read that one. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: shortened it down when he was mad at He was
Speaker 1: mad at me, but he says sex isn't important to him.
Speaker 1: But he also said that it was me that I said,
Speaker 1: you know when I was like, you were twenty two,
Speaker 1: like like that was so late for it to have sex.
Speaker 1: And you know, maybe he's a Sexually people just have
Speaker 1: no interest in it, right, and you're a sexual and
Speaker 1: they have no interest in having sucks. It's fine. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but we're not. Thanks for listening. That's awesome,
Speaker 1: and this is scholar. This is interesting. She's been with
Speaker 1: her husband she was nineteen. They've been together thirty three years.
Speaker 1: They've been at thirty three years, and now her husband
Speaker 1: is thinking, you know, I never dated much. Would it
Speaker 1: be cheating if I started dating some other people? What? What? Uh?
Speaker 1: That's what she says. She says, after thirty or three
Speaker 1: years of marriage, we don't necessarily want to have sex
Speaker 1: with anybody else. But he decided that he's never dated
Speaker 1: much and things would be interesting to be with someone
Speaker 1: of a different personality. Is that still cheating? Yes? Really
Speaker 1: such a thing as an emotional affair or is it
Speaker 1: just curiosity emotional affair? So do you guys think call
Speaker 1: passes are cheating? Yes, if you're putting your whatever in
Speaker 1: another whatever, you're cheating. Or if you're talking or texting
Speaker 1: or you're cheating that. But that goes back to the whole.
Speaker 1: If people like to watch porn together, have or have
Speaker 1: three sims or whatever it is, Yeah, one of those things.
Speaker 1: If you know, it's just And then she says, if
Speaker 1: you have sex with someone else, I feel like you
Speaker 1: have to ask him to be tested before I do
Speaker 1: it with him, because I don't know where that girl
Speaker 1: is bad? Oh my god. I mean everybody has their
Speaker 1: own life. Whatever works for you, girlfriend would do it.
Speaker 1: I just know it would not work for me, and
Speaker 1: I would send my man for I mean think they're
Speaker 1: probably in their fifties. Yeah, three years. I mean I
Speaker 1: always joke about like, oh if Shampain shows up, I'm
Speaker 1: off se uh but it would still Bill his personality
Speaker 1: so weird? Do you just wanted to tell you jokes
Speaker 1: while you guys like sleep together? Is the show over?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even talk about Halloween. Customers, go ahead, you
Speaker 1: can do off a couple. So, um, been waiting a
Speaker 1: week for this. I can order my freaking costumes. Well
Speaker 1: here's here's the few that I got from Instagram. Um.
Speaker 1: They asked some mo wanna so you would be what's
Speaker 1: his favor? Yes, Mally you would have hair and tattoo
Speaker 1: that's nice al right, next your shirt off, just like
Speaker 1: all tattoos, Mallie with big freaking hair. They need to
Speaker 1: be the grandma. Well, I don't know, it was my favorite,
Speaker 1: but then Jolie could be Moanna. That'd be so cute,
Speaker 1: and I could be even like I could be like
Speaker 1: maybe the Chicken or something, but I love that one.
Speaker 1: And then um, someone said the Incredibles but um and
Speaker 1: then okay, this is really funny originality, e. This is
Speaker 1: a funny one. Mommy Daddy, baby shark do do do do? Oh?
Speaker 1: My mom shark? Who would be like that was funny?
Speaker 1: We get on the sharks, so it's like it'd be
Speaker 1: daddy and you know, like I just I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think. I mean we didn't know everybody because we're
Speaker 1: walking down to the tom and all the kids would
Speaker 1: hear us and start chiming in. Yeah, I know, So
Speaker 1: those are this I like my favorites are the Mowana
Speaker 1: you being him, and then m the baby shark to
Speaker 1: do to do? Okay, that's zinc Yeah, monsters inc. Where
Speaker 1: my Mike would be Sally, not Mike, and then you
Speaker 1: would be Mike Whowski and then Jolie would be there's
Speaker 1: a picture of a monster here. I'm not sure that
Speaker 1: monster has a name, but it's one of the monsters
Speaker 1: from Oh no, it's the Little Girls the monster. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's cute. Well, Jolie was Jolie was a monster two
Speaker 1: years ago. So I don't want to do that one right.
Speaker 1: But if Mike was really Wonka, you were Bruk, the
Speaker 1: one that blows up into a big would be Jolie.
Speaker 1: Jolie is the lompa. I'd be the because I'm pregnant,
Speaker 1: and then Jolie would be because she's like, I want that.
Speaker 1: How about Julia's Captain hat? And you guys are thinking
Speaker 1: one thing too. I feel like that's been done. Anything
Speaker 1: one thing to have. But if Jolie's cat in the hat,
Speaker 1: it's pretty good. Janny Janet is Winnie the Pooh, Julie
Speaker 1: is Piglet, and Mike is Christopher Robin don't tigger, But
Speaker 1: all right, that's cute. Despicable me. Julie's a minion, Mike
Speaker 1: is grew and your Mrs Grow one was my favorite.
Speaker 1: I love that. That one's cute. That one could be cute. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna think about those. If you guys have any
Speaker 1: more though, yeah, that could be cool. It's cool. Jannah Craman,
Speaker 1: I heart media dot com. If you have any more
Speaker 1: interesting one so far, I so like them. Wanna and
Speaker 1: Baby Shark to today was fun, guys, it was It
Speaker 1: was deep hi all the way around. Um, but thank
Speaker 1: you so much to Hella Fresh for a total of
Speaker 1: six dollars off visit how Love Fresh dot com. Slash
Speaker 1: Cramer sixty stamps dot com, free postage, a digital scale,
Speaker 1: and a four week trial at stamps dot com and
Speaker 1: entered Janna. Outdoor Voices for off your first order of
Speaker 1: a hundred dollars or more, Visit outdoor Voices dot com
Speaker 1: slash Janna, and entered Jannah The New Yorker Go to
Speaker 1: New Yorker dot com slash Janna. Listeners of podcasts say
Speaker 1: fifty when they enter code Janna. And of course, thank
Speaker 1: you to sugar Bear Hair. Go to sugar Bear Hair
Speaker 1: dot com slash Janna for a beautiful hair and healthier
Speaker 1: you guys. I'm pumped to wind out next week. It's
Speaker 1: going to be a good one. I love you. I