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Speaker 1: Wind down with Janna Kramer and I have heard radio

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Speaker 1: podcast so excited to wind down today. I got a

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Speaker 1: lot to talk about so much, especially you. Okay there

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Speaker 1: with the mike bed just making a little I'm taller

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Speaker 1: than most. It's get it up higher, That's what she said.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't like something like I was like,

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Speaker 1: something was there. Um, let me just tell you. The

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Speaker 1: virgins came out for blood. They banded together and came

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Speaker 1: after you. The band of virgins just came like for

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Speaker 1: major blood, protesting the streets in front of our house signs.

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Speaker 1: We know. I think that. Um, I didn't think that

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Speaker 1: you were attacking them in any way. Well, I just

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Speaker 1: feel like I need to say this because you know,

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Speaker 1: I just want to reiterate again, I am not shaming virgins.

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Speaker 1: I am not saying that you shouldn't wait and gets

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Speaker 1: a beautiful I even talked to one of my virgin

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Speaker 1: friends and was like, did I did I disrespect you? No?

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Speaker 1: She's like no, She's like, You've always been so supportive.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, good. I was because I'm

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Speaker 1: starting to feel bad because these people are like, you know,

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Speaker 1: You've made me feel really bad about my choices, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I was not trying to do that. I'm

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Speaker 1: literally just saying that's just not for me. And sometimes

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Speaker 1: I forget like being on you know, on air and

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Speaker 1: doing this like I'm also trying to be funny, I'm

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Speaker 1: also trying to be like, well that you know, you

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Speaker 1: gotta test you know, personally, Yeah, I do feel like

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Speaker 1: you got a test drive. But that's just my opinion.

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Speaker 1: But I have no I have no hate for the

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Speaker 1: other side. I think that's great. If you're waiting. I

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Speaker 1: think it's great that you you know you and you know,

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Speaker 1: if you guys were the only people that that's awesome.

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Speaker 1: Just for me personally, it's just not what I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do. That wasn't your path, Yeah, the path, but

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Speaker 1: I think that people were just like you just seemed

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Speaker 1: very like your attitude store and so, you know, I

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Speaker 1: texted Michael was like, man, I'm feeling really bad because

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Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt people's feelings. He's like, well,

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Speaker 1: you can't, Like, no, you can't. That's just that just

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Speaker 1: goes to show the oversensitive year of society as a whole. Right,

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Speaker 1: It's like people can't even speak their opinions other than

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Speaker 1: somebody get mad when it's okay. It's just like political parties.

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Speaker 1: You want to be a Republican, I'll listen to what

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Speaker 1: you have to say. Cool, that's fine, that's your opinion,

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Speaker 1: that's how you look at things. I want to be

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Speaker 1: a democrat, not saying a Republican. I'm not saying demot

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Speaker 1: even stopping that. But no, I mean again, like sometimes

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Speaker 1: like I did respond to a few of the dams,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, sometimes I do like I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to be funny too write, and so I

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Speaker 1: forget that someone's feelings are hurt. Like someone had said.

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Speaker 1: I had made a comment about you know, why I

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Speaker 1: did a C section versus you know, a vaginal and like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't think my husband would ever go

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Speaker 1: down there. She's like, well, now I'm afraid that my

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Speaker 1: husband doesn't want to look at my vagina. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't saying that your husband thinks you're vagina is ugly.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm just you know, well, it's your own personal

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Speaker 1: life experience that you're talking about, which it's not everyone's experience.

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Speaker 1: Everyone is opinion and feelings and just leave my wife alone. No, no,

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Speaker 1: but no, no, no, no, but I I don't. I like,

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Speaker 1: you know, my heart, like you know, I never want

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Speaker 1: to hurt people. I never ever, ever. That's your opinion,

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Speaker 1: and that's okay. And again, I just again, I'm just

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Speaker 1: I'm also trying to be you know, lighthearted about the situation.

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Speaker 1: And I test drove a lot. You know you did.

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Speaker 1: That's just what we did. And that's okay too, that's okay. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But if I was a virgin, that's okay. I just

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Speaker 1: like personally know like if you were, like that had

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Speaker 1: been really hard if you were a virgin, because I

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Speaker 1: would have wanted to, you know, but I would have

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Speaker 1: had to respect. If I really loved you, I would have,

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Speaker 1: like I thought, to stay in it. But you definitely

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Speaker 1: weren't a virgin, so there wasn't to worry about that,

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Speaker 1: no problems there. But so just to all my virgins,

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Speaker 1: I support you, I love you. I'm not trying to

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Speaker 1: knock you right now. I'm just saying that's awesome and

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Speaker 1: honestly good for them, for you in such a sexualized

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Speaker 1: society as well. Not to be on this whole society talk,

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Speaker 1: but the fact that you're still able to hold your

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Speaker 1: values for whatever reason that that that might be is phenomenal. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: someone did say, like, why isn't why wasn't Mike more

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Speaker 1: on their eyed about the fact that like Colton was

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Speaker 1: just like he wasn't waiting till marriage. She's just waiting

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Speaker 1: for the right person, So why wasn't he more on

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Speaker 1: his side about the fact that he didn't play into

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Speaker 1: like the football like stuff and society. It doesn't has

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Speaker 1: nothing to with football. I just has to do with

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Speaker 1: a person doing what they want to do. And that's okay.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, so that happened, But um, there are some

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Speaker 1: uh I think I believe we have some really good

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Speaker 1: emails that we're going to answer later for sure. But

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Speaker 1: you know what I did learn is that a friend

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Speaker 1: she texted me and she goes, by the way, I

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Speaker 1: lied to my husband about my number because because it

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Speaker 1: was so high, No, because she they were telling numbers

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Speaker 1: and his was lower, so then she felt like she

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Speaker 1: had to then like lower hers. And to this day,

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Speaker 1: like they've been married for like twenty plus years and

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Speaker 1: they are no, not that long, but like they like

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Speaker 1: she's like and then somebody else emailed me too, and

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Speaker 1: there's a question should I tell my husband like, I'm

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Speaker 1: starting to feel guilty that I lied to him about

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Speaker 1: my number. Well, why do you have to tell the number? Well,

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Speaker 1: because here's the thing. If you guys talk about it

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Speaker 1: and then you lie, that's technically a lie. So technically

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Speaker 1: she lied to her husband, and her husband I say,

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Speaker 1: take it to the grave, take it to the grave.

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Speaker 1: But it's a lie. So why started why I start

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Speaker 1: a relationship with a lie? Then they have they've been

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Speaker 1: in the marriage for fifteen something, because that's a deal breaker.

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Speaker 1: He won't leave after that. But I get that's why.

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Speaker 1: That's why it's really hard to even have that conversation.

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Speaker 1: That's why I don't even think it's necessary because whoever

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Speaker 1: says at first, the second person is going to probably

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Speaker 1: feel obligated to match that pretty close. Well, but here,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I think this is how people should

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Speaker 1: reveal it. They should set a little timer on the

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Speaker 1: cell phone. They should write it on a piece of paper,

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Speaker 1: and when the alarm goes off, they shoot it over

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Speaker 1: to the other person. That way, you can't go back,

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Speaker 1: there's no changing it. Nothing. Well, then what happens because

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Speaker 1: I will say that I agreed with my friend because

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Speaker 1: I too have lied about my number when the other

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Speaker 1: person's number was is lower than mine, right, because you

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Speaker 1: feel like they're they're gonna be how many people? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then they're gonna be like, wait, do I have

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Speaker 1: to go have sex with more people? But it's a

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Speaker 1: good question though, because this girl, you know, my friend,

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Speaker 1: she's over it. She's like whatever, Like she's like, take

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Speaker 1: it to your grave. But my the girl that had

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Speaker 1: reached out to me, she's like, I'm really torn with

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Speaker 1: like the fact that I'm lying to my husband about it.

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Speaker 1: If that, if that is the only lie that she's

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Speaker 1: holding on too, and that's what she's worried about, then yes,

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Speaker 1: go to him and be like, look, honey, I know

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Speaker 1: this is silly, but this is fifteen years ago. Okay,

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Speaker 1: what if it's not fifteen. I'm not talking about that

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Speaker 1: tuition more. I'm talking now about the girl that DMed

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Speaker 1: men Instagram said what do I do? How recent? I

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Speaker 1: mean they've been married for like, let's say to two years.

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Speaker 1: I think she should get a really funny card I

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Speaker 1: do and write it in the card. By the way,

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Speaker 1: just left with eight instead of six. That wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: a big deal. But if you're like, if you told

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Speaker 1: an eight. But it's like, then that's something to consider.

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Speaker 1: What is the discrepancy of your lie? But why does

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Speaker 1: that matter? A lie is a lie. A lie is

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Speaker 1: a lie when it's eight or nine. I'm not minimizing

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Speaker 1: the lie, but the aftermath of that lie is going

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Speaker 1: to be a little bit bigger if it's the difference

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Speaker 1: is I mean, would you want me to like if

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Speaker 1: I lied to you about my number and then came

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Speaker 1: back to it was like, it's actually this, like, would

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Speaker 1: you want me to tell you the truth? You don't

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Speaker 1: want it, you don't care. Yeah, we got this anonymous

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Speaker 1: email that you might have been referring to, but she

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Speaker 1: lied about her number just to give you some Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's the one that fiance thinks it's for what did

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Speaker 1: she say what her fiances is to? I don't that's

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Speaker 1: the email. That's totally the email. Yeah, not a person

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Speaker 1: a lie. But I got trapped in this web? Did

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Speaker 1: I come clean? That's her? I say, take it to

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Speaker 1: the grave, Take it to the grave. But here's the thing,

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Speaker 1: it's a lie. It's a lie to the grave. It's better,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. It's still alive. It's obviously eating her

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Speaker 1: up to the fact that she emailed us. Yes, that's

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Speaker 1: not actually actually, But I'm also saying though, like with

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Speaker 1: a lie, like with you, it's like I didn't tell you,

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Speaker 1: like so it's like I don't care, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm holding the name back. But if I

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Speaker 1: told you a certain number and it was not that,

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Speaker 1: I would feel like I'm holding something. And she's clearly

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Speaker 1: struggling with it because she wrote us and she doesn't

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Speaker 1: know what to do. But yes, that is a big

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Speaker 1: number discrepancy, and he's probably not going to be happy

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Speaker 1: with it, especially since his number is super sorry not super.

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be whatever because erically lower than

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Speaker 1: the other, than his than his wife. So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know you guys are saying zip it,

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Speaker 1: but like I see, take it to the grave, anonymous,

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Speaker 1: write it on a piece of paper and burn it.

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Speaker 1: Tor okay, I always do the thing. Where would you

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Speaker 1: hate it if he kept a secret from you? So

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Speaker 1: if the role was reversed, would you hate not knowing

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Speaker 1: that he had actually lied to you about his number?

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Speaker 1: If if you can move past it, then I say

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Speaker 1: move past it. If that's his secret and you couldn't

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Speaker 1: you want to see him any differently. That's a really

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Speaker 1: good point. So think about whether you know you wanted

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Speaker 1: to know, if unless unless you want unless you're the

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Speaker 1: kind of person that wants to know all details. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So whoever the anonymous is, just ask yourself, if the

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Speaker 1: roles were reversed, what would you want? Yeah, and that honestly,

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Speaker 1: whatever that answer is, you do what that is. If

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Speaker 1: it was you'd want him to tell you, then go

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Speaker 1: tell him. If you'd rather not know, don't tell him.

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Speaker 1: Hey babe, what's for dinner tonight? It's a great question, Janna.

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Speaker 1: What do we do? What do we usually do? And

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Speaker 1: what are you cooking tonight? Janna, winning doubt. We just

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Speaker 1: resort to Hello Fresh. You're obsessed with hell a Fresh?

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Speaker 1: Tell us why? Yeah? And I always thought it was

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Speaker 1: a good cook until now I think I actually I'm

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Speaker 1: a better cook because of Hello Fresh. Well, No, because

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Speaker 1: you like repeat some of the meals that they've actually

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Speaker 1: like brought to us. Yeah, because they've been fantastic there,

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Speaker 1: you know, they're time efficient, they're it's just the feed

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Speaker 1: our whole family, and there's a lot of uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: different options, so we're not cooking the same thing. Over

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Speaker 1: and over again. Yeah. No, I think it's great because

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Speaker 1: the fact that, you know, sometimes it's like we don't

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Speaker 1: want to decide what we want for dinner. It's really

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Speaker 1: nice to just be able to be like, hey, this

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Speaker 1: is showing up at our door and that's what's for

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Speaker 1: dinner tonight. Yeah, it's fantastic. And each box is made

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Speaker 1: of a fresh and responsibly obtained ingredients from carefully selected

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Speaker 1: don't get super lost in, but then we taste it like,

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Speaker 1: holy crap, this is stuff is amazing. So for a

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Speaker 1: first three boxes, visit Hello Fresh dot com slash cramer

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Speaker 1: That's Hello Fresh dot com slash Cramer sixty and enter

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Speaker 1: Cramer sixty. Okay, so you're gonna have to bleet me

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Speaker 1: for this Eastern, but we've got We've got Aaron Falconer

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Speaker 1: in studio. Her book is called Ready How to Get

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Speaker 1: Done It? Um, what inspired you to write this book? Uh?

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Speaker 1: You know, I I moved down to Los Angeles, from

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Speaker 1: Canada about fifteen years ago, and I had big dreams

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Speaker 1: years later in the fetal position, crying on my bathroom

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Speaker 1: floor when nothing had worked out. And over the course

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Speaker 1: of figuring my life out, um, I kind of you know,

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Speaker 1: I struggled along a long time and then I finally

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Speaker 1: got myself on the path to success. And uh, five

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Speaker 1: years later, when I was asked to write this book,

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Speaker 1: I realized that I had not enjoyed or appreciated or

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Speaker 1: acknowledged any of any of my success. I was just going, going, going, going, going,

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Speaker 1: And I had this kind of epiphany where it was like,

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Speaker 1: it's not just about getting more stuff done, it's about

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Speaker 1: getting the right stuff done. And so I that was

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Speaker 1: kind of the idea behind this book. It's real defining

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Speaker 1: the word productivity and specifically for women. Why, um, what

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Speaker 1: do you think women like fail at the worst with

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Speaker 1: with that? Yeah? Well, I think, first of all, um,

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Speaker 1: we're still kind of new to the workplace in relative terms,

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Speaker 1: and so there's so much fear of you know, being

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Speaker 1: replaced if we're not doing enough. Um, we're never good enough.

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Speaker 1: We're being judged on a whole different set of criteria.

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Speaker 1: So there's all of that going on, and then we've

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Speaker 1: got all of the um family and lifestyle stuff to

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Speaker 1: contend with two. So, I mean, we talk about it's

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Speaker 1: no secret that women are making less money and they're

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Speaker 1: also doing oftentimes double the workload if you take into

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Speaker 1: consideration the life aspects. So yeah, we're doing work and

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Speaker 1: then also kids stuff, so we're like double everything. What

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Speaker 1: is the best way to prioritize? Well, I think the

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Speaker 1: very first thing is is to stop and throw out

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Speaker 1: everything that you all the ships in your life of

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Speaker 1: you know, how you got here UM and ask yourself

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Speaker 1: what do I want to be doing? Who am I,

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Speaker 1: what are my goals? What are my values? And then,

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Speaker 1: very in a very calculated way, spa end three, four

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Speaker 1: or five days and write down every single thing you're

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Speaker 1: doing in a day from the time you get up

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Speaker 1: to the time you go to sleep, and put the

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Speaker 1: first list about what you want to be doing and

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Speaker 1: the second list of how you're actually spending your time,

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Speaker 1: and look at how very different those two things are

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Speaker 1: and start to say, I need to be doing more

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Speaker 1: things in my day that move the needle about in

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Speaker 1: a very concentrated way and where I want to go,

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Speaker 1: And without doing that very rudimentary analysis, you're just kind

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Speaker 1: of spinning your wheels trying to get again more stuff

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Speaker 1: checked off lists, which don't really move the needle for you.

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Speaker 1: They're moving the needle for somebody else, somebody else's agendia.

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Speaker 1: But if you're not being conscientious and conscious about um,

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Speaker 1: where you're going and the moves you're making, you're helping

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Speaker 1: somebody else get some their stuff done, not you. And

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Speaker 1: that's why often at the end of the week you

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Speaker 1: feel so exhausted and you go, oh, where did the

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Speaker 1: week go? You never want to be saying that, right,

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Speaker 1: you want to go exactly where you spent your time.

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Speaker 1: Then you can be tired, but you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be exhausted, you know, like emotionally and from an energy

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Speaker 1: point to view here and you said something in there

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Speaker 1: when you talked about having goals, and that's something I

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Speaker 1: know earlier in my life I struggled with, because you know,

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Speaker 1: how detail do you make your goals? How short term,

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Speaker 1: how long term? What kind of advice can you give

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Speaker 1: for people, especially young professionals, to really set goals, what

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Speaker 1: kind and how to get to them totally. Um, this

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Speaker 1: is such a great question because I get it all

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Speaker 1: the time through my blog as well. You want to

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Speaker 1: really find a balance, So you've got to you've got

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Speaker 1: to find the dreamer. And you like, what are those

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Speaker 1: big goals that you want to achieve in life? But

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Speaker 1: if you just have those, it's so hard to get

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Speaker 1: to them that often if you're not getting there quick,

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Speaker 1: you face a real lack of motivation and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not getting there, I'm not getting I'm failing. So

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Speaker 1: you want to have the big goals, but then you

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Speaker 1: need to have the small micro goals kind of like

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Speaker 1: your monthly and your weekly goals set out that are

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Speaker 1: so in a very concentrated way, you've got small victories

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Speaker 1: in a way to measure how you're going. You know

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Speaker 1: which way the winds are sailing and what track you're on.

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Speaker 1: That are ultimate cumulatively moving towards those big benchmark, bucket

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Speaker 1: list dreams that you want to go to. So you

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Speaker 1: you want to think big. In other words, you can't

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Speaker 1: just have small goals that are very achievable. That's boring

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Speaker 1: and not inspirational. But you can't just have the big,

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Speaker 1: lofty goals without the smaller kind of tactical goals to

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Speaker 1: make to get there. But I mean, like, how because

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Speaker 1: that that sounds great? But then I'm like, but like

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Speaker 1: I feel like the jump start, It's like, how do

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Speaker 1: you jump start that? Well, the very first thing, in

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Speaker 1: my opinion, that you have to do, and I say

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Speaker 1: this for many things, but specifically for goals, and it

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Speaker 1: sounds really simple, but it is to me the core

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Speaker 1: of everything. You have to sit with yourself and literally

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Speaker 1: write things down pen to paper or clickwords onto your screen.

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Speaker 1: I'm a pen to paper girl. Uh, start literally mapping

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Speaker 1: it out. What are the things that make me tick?

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Speaker 1: Write a list, what are the jobs or what are

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Speaker 1: the creative endeavors that I can do to get there?

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Speaker 1: Write that down? Now, how do I take this? And this?

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Speaker 1: It's literally basic equations and you start to you start

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Speaker 1: to get a map together, you start to get a

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Speaker 1: plan together. Also, once you have things written down, you

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Speaker 1: become accountable. When you live in your head or I

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Speaker 1: want to do this, I want to do that, da

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Speaker 1: da da da, but so many other things come into

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Speaker 1: your brain and you kind of get off truck. When

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Speaker 1: you have something written down in black and white. It's

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Speaker 1: the same thing also with having mentors, finding one or

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Speaker 1: two really great mentors. They hold you accountable. So when

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Speaker 1: you're talking to them, it's the same thing as writing

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Speaker 1: it down. You can't kind of escape into the ether

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Speaker 1: of like a busy day. At the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: you still have that did I get did I move

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Speaker 1: towards these goals or didn't die? So, um, how can

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Speaker 1: my husband help with because does that? Do you ever

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Speaker 1: find that coming in where they can? It's husbands either

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Speaker 1: hurt that or help that with your goals or in

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Speaker 1: like productivity for women in general, like do we just

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Speaker 1: not ask for help doing out? Like that's that's the

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Speaker 1: big thing, Like I I find there in my experience,

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Speaker 1: the men in my in my life have been really

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Speaker 1: willing to help. It's just that women in general, I

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Speaker 1: think that they've always got the best way to do things.

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Speaker 1: And so like specifically, if you're talking about the home,

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Speaker 1: it's like he folded the laundry and it's like, Dad,

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Speaker 1: I've got to do that. Well, you know what, he

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Speaker 1: doesn't fold the towels right, and he's saying he folds

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Speaker 1: them wide ways. I'm like, fuld that skinny, Like you're

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Speaker 1: not folding them right, don't do it right right? But

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Speaker 1: so that but that's a good example. There's the desire

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Speaker 1: that a help and really in how much mental energy

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Speaker 1: are you eating up over these towels? I do the

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Speaker 1: exact same thing, but it's like ask for help, don't

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Speaker 1: don't go in and say your dictate. First of all,

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a it's a shared experience. So what

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Speaker 1: can you help with? What that's good? What? What am

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Speaker 1: I What are my strengths in the house? Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: do that as opposed to dictating. Number one, you want

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Speaker 1: to have kind of a democratic conversation about you know,

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Speaker 1: because maybe he likes doing dishes more and so that's

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Speaker 1: what you should do, you know. But that's only going

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Speaker 1: to come out from a conversation. Then. The second of

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Speaker 1: all is there's no one right way to do things,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes women you need to let it go, let

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Speaker 1: those control things go so you can keep that energy

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Speaker 1: um for for stuff that moves your life forward in

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Speaker 1: a meaning mooid like towel folding, doesn't you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? I think we can agree on that. Again,

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Speaker 1: I do the exact same thing where I'm like, don't

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Speaker 1: say anything, don't say anything. And it's you just have

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Speaker 1: to practice doing that. And I like what you said

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Speaker 1: about ask for help or you know, ask for what

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Speaker 1: you need. Going back for a second, when you're talking

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Speaker 1: about you know, you're kind of hitting the bottom out

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Speaker 1: here in l A. You're in a fetal position. You

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Speaker 1: had all those feelings, nothing was working. Who did you

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Speaker 1: reach out to how did you get yourself, you know,

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Speaker 1: into that line of goals and kind of climbing your

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Speaker 1: way back out of that well. I mean, because I

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Speaker 1: was kind of out here flying solo, which was like

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Speaker 1: one of the big problems. Um. I I really relied

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Speaker 1: on myself in that moment, right in that actual moment.

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Speaker 1: And one of the scariest things in that moment was

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Speaker 1: not that I didn't have money, I had no car,

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Speaker 1: my house was being foreclosed up. All those things were terrifying,

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Speaker 1: But the thing that was the most scary to me

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Speaker 1: is that I moved down to Los Angeles because I

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Speaker 1: heard a voice in myself. I listened to a voice

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Speaker 1: in myself that said, I'm you have this creative side

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Speaker 1: of you. I was on a fast track to law school.

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Speaker 1: I was a professional academic, a plus student, and I

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Speaker 1: chose to throw all that away and listened to myself.

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Speaker 1: And so when I was in those that moment, I

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Speaker 1: was like, I listened to myself and I was wrong

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Speaker 1: and and that was the scariest thing ever. And so

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Speaker 1: once I had that realization and I was, you know,

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Speaker 1: shaking in my boots like I didn't I don't know

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Speaker 1: who I am anymore because I trusted myself and I

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Speaker 1: that obviously didn't work. Then I was able to talk

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Speaker 1: to UM two people in particular, and say, I'm having

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Speaker 1: this feeling and and and it was through those conversations

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Speaker 1: that said, then you have to double down on that feeling,

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Speaker 1: even though it feels like you have completely gone off

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Speaker 1: off track. That's the only thing anybody ever has in life,

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Speaker 1: is that feeling. And so it was it's a two

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Speaker 1: part to answer question number one. I had to rely myself.

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Speaker 1: But it was through conversations with two people I respect

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Speaker 1: dearly and are still very prominent in my life that

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Speaker 1: that allowed me to still believe in that voice. And

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I would have believed in it

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Speaker 1: still given my situation, if I hadn't have had UM

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Speaker 1: the voice of two people I really respected saying it's

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Speaker 1: scary as hell. But you that's the only thing you have.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing, especially because I feel like people have the

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Speaker 1: misconception when they ask for help, they're expecting hand outs,

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Speaker 1: and that's not where these people gave you. They just

425
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 1: give you the encouragement and the confidence to believe that

426
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 1: your initial feelings. So that's empowering. I like that my

427
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 1: whole opinion. My opinion is that asking for help is

428
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 1: one of the strongest moves you can make. UM and people,

429
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: you know, people a lot of times there are two

430
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,400
Speaker 1: reasons people don't ask for help. Number one because they think, oh,

431
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 1: I'm not I don't want to show that I can't

432
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 1: do this. And number two, I don't want to bother

433
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,200
Speaker 1: that person. You know, I don't think they're very busy.

434
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 1: And the fact of the matter is, Um, anytime I've

435
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 1: ever asked for help, people have been so receptive. People

436
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 1: want to help you. That is in you, that's human nature.

437
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: And for me, when I get asked for help, I

438
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,120
Speaker 1: considered an honor and a privilege. Really it's like if

439
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: somebody trusts me to help them, especially with the really

440
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: important stuff, So ask for help. UM, But don't ask

441
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 1: for help if you haven't already done the work. Nothing

442
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,479
Speaker 1: irritates me more than someone that wants me to do

443
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,199
Speaker 1: the work for them, you know. So there we have

444
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,959
Speaker 1: to draw when someone says, like I want help losing weight, well,

445
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 1: then put down the eminem exactly. I can't help you

446
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: if you're not going to like do your exactly. So, So,

447
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: once you've done the work in your intention to to

448
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: do well or get better whatever is is there, ask

449
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 1: for help work can listeners find you and like obviously

450
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 1: your book and everything. Yeah, so my book is available

451
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 1: on Amazon. But I have a blog called Picked the Brain,

452
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 1: and I'm at Pick the Brain, which, by the way,

453
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 1: Pick the Brain has been named over a hundred Best

454
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 1: of the Web lists, and Forbes named it one of

455
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 1: the top most congratulations. Do you have worksheets or work? Yeah? Well,

456
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: in the book there's at every chapter there's a there's

457
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: a work section. It's a you know, the first time

458
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: in ten years to write a productivity book. It's fantastic.

459
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,679
Speaker 1: Let me ask one more question. I'm sorry, honey, I

460
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 1: know this is you know you kind of said it's

461
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 1: it's you know, a little bit more women woman driven. Um,

462
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: but I do say and I struggle with this at

463
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 1: times where even if I've had a productive day or

464
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: what I feel like it has been a productive day,

465
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I'm still just like

466
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,920
Speaker 1: I feel like I could could have done more. Right,

467
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: it's a whole like I don't feel good enough feeling.

468
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: How do you like give yourself the confidence be like, no,

469
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 1: I did enough? Is that is that checklist? What is it? Well?

470
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the thing is that when you're

471
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 1: doing something you really really love. So I think you've

472
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 1: got to make a distinction. If you're doing some things

473
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: that you really really love and you're like, I feel

474
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 1: like I could do more. I think that's just a

475
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: natural passion. If you're if you're doing something that you

476
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: don't love and you're like in general you're and you're like,

477
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 1: I feel like I'd be doing more. I feel like

478
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 1: I do more, that's just that's filling up a hole

479
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 1: that needs to be filled by something else. Right. So,

480
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: I mean, even when you're doing something that you really love,

481
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 1: you have to know that you are still central to

482
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 1: that and you need to take time out for yourself.

483
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,959
Speaker 1: You need to find balance for yourself. These things are

484
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 1: important for the longevity of your project. Right. If you don't.

485
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: So you need to make a choice. Am I going

486
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,919
Speaker 1: to sit here and guilt thinking that I could be

487
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,199
Speaker 1: still getting more done because I'm so excited about this,

488
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: Or you're gonna say, I'm gonna play the long game

489
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: on this and make the tough choice to train myself

490
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,400
Speaker 1: to relax, to do to find other to find balance

491
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,959
Speaker 1: in my life, right, Because it's all about finding balance

492
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: if you want to again, play the long game. So

493
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, making the choice to

494
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: relax or go out for dinner or as long as

495
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 1: it's a choice, you're doing well. But those are just

496
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 1: as important as choosing to get one more thing done

497
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 1: off off the list. So um, as long as you're

498
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 1: making it a choice and you make that habit to

499
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: make these choices, you become you feel less and less

500
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: guilty because you've got control. When you're making choices, you've

501
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,679
Speaker 1: got control. I feel like it's so great for like

502
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: guys too. So it's like, why, why why is it

503
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 1: just focus on women? I wanted Yeah, I wanted to

504
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 1: say so the first half there's two parts of the book,

505
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: and the first half of the book is really talking

506
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 1: about female and the female psyche and how we got

507
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 1: the you know, the history of women in the workplace.

508
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: The second part of the book is completely tactical and

509
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 1: is completely gender neutral, and I highly recommend reading it

510
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: their exercises at the end. So it's about time tracking,

511
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 1: really understanding how you're spending your time, who you're spending

512
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: your time with. It's just as important as how you're

513
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: spending your time, because we all know they're the people

514
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: that bring us down and the people that bring us up.

515
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 1: And I always say the test is when your phone

516
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 1: rings and you see a name on the call displayed,

517
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: you go or you go, oh yes, and you jumped

518
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: to ticket and you started started analyzing that and you

519
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: know what. So so anyway, so those are just some

520
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 1: examples of of of and then how to use the

521
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: internet in the most productive way, what apps to use

522
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: and so you can start freeing up your time, um

523
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: with less menial tasks that don't really matter to you

524
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,479
Speaker 1: and drain your energy. So how do we get rid

525
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: of the Yeah, yeah, well those are relationships. You're responsible

526
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 1: for how people treat you, and you're responsible for the

527
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: people in your life, right, and so if you're constantly

528
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: picking up the phone call up of a phone call

529
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: where you've got the h Well, then you're training that

530
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: person to keep calling you and dropping those problems on

531
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: your lap. Um. It's just that simple. Um. With responsibility

532
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 1: comes a percent freedom. You want to be free, take responsibility.

533
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:45,160
Speaker 1: Those those people need to be marginalized or at least controlled. Um.

534
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: Where it's like, if if you're fine to hang with

535
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 1: that person on Saturday afternoon or take a phone call,

536
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: if you're fine with that, then you need to train

537
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: them to be only calling you at that time. And

538
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 1: how do you train them, Well, you don't answer the

539
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: call when they call in the middle of the work day,

540
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But I've told my dad

541
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: not to leave voicemails about fifty million times. It still

542
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: leaves me a damn. I don't listen to it. Never

543
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 1: listen to voicemail. Why are you leaving me a three

544
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: minute voicemail? And then they keep getting longer. I'm not

545
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: listening to your voicemail. It's full. So it's like, how

546
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: do you train someone that's not trainable? Right? Well, I mean,

547
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: I think I think in that scenario you can just

548
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 1: kind of see the humor in it because you're not

549
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 1: It's not like you're taking the time to then listen

550
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 1: to those messages and get back to him. So I

551
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: think that bothers me, though it's still annoys me. It's

552
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 1: very as I told you, that's the same problem with

553
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 1: my mom has leaving me these long voicemails. I just

554
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 1: don't listen to them. So the idea is, if you

555
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: want me to respond to something, don't leave me a voicemail,

556
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: don't don't leave me voice message. If text is better

557
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 1: for you, then those are the things I'm going to

558
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: respond to in a meaningful way. Otherwise you're so out,

559
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to listen to this because you left,

560
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: So you kind of just don't let it be, yeah,

561
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: because that's what's the point, that's then ruining your activity.

562
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 1: But I know three minutes out of my day that

563
00:26:55,480 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to listen to your message. No, it's exactly.

564
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:06,199
Speaker 1: It's like you've already read my book, I know. But

565
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: there I know people that will listen to those messages

566
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: and be irritated for three minutes listening to you yourself

567
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: to respond. But that's on you. So you're, in my opinion,

568
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: you're doing the right thing, and you don't want get

569
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,959
Speaker 1: aggressive with your dad and starts you know, I mean,

570
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: I have but not healthy, and it's like it's I mean,

571
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: but but then again, it's like it makes me want

572
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: to be angry because I've told him, don't leave me

573
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 1: long messages, don't don't leave me message might be a

574
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: generational is absolutely my mom doesn't illustrating. It's so annoying.

575
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 1: And then I'll color right back and she'll say, no,

576
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: I didn't because I didn't want you to leave me

577
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: a message. We've gone over this. Yeah, well, I feel

578
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of insightful stuff that we can

579
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: all take, you know, very to heart. So thank you appreciated, Yeah,

580
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: thank you. So I'm really excited because I launched my

581
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 1: business today, the Mom's in Babies Box. And what really

582
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 1: makes me happy is the fact that if I need

583
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 1: to mail letters or packages with my small business, it's

584
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 1: so great because I use stamps dot com. Um you

585
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: can get postage on demand, and it's so great because

586
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: in the very beginning'm like, I don't know how much

587
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: these boxes way, Well, no problem because they actually send

588
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: you a scale. So with stamps dot Com you can

589
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 1: access all the amazing services of the post office right

590
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: from your desk. Twenty four seven, so on your time

591
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: when you want to get your work done, which is

592
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 1: great because I do a lot of my work when

593
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 1: Jolie goes to bed at eight o'clock. So right now,

594
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: use Janna for this special offer. It includes up to

595
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: fifty five dollars of free postage, a digital scale, and

596
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: a four week trial. So do not wait. Go to

597
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: stamps dot com before you do anything else. Click on

598
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and

599
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: type in Janna that Stamps dot com Enter Janna. You know.

600
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: And also I have to tell you I've been having

601
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: some voices, okay, outdoor of voices. They make high quality

602
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: active apparel to take you from the gym life to

603
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: everyday life seamlessly and fashionable, and which is I think

604
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: is great because you know, when I work out, but

605
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: I also like to just live in nice workout clothes,

606
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: like like I feel like mom life is just automatically

607
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: like yeah, easy comfortable clothes that you can, um, just

608
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: you can. They're they're made to sweat in. They're available

609
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: for both men and women. So my men listeners, and

610
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 1: this for you too. Um, everything's great. I mean, you've

611
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: got running shorts you've got the leggings. I mean, it's

612
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: not for just working out, it's for everyday lifestyle. So

613
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: it's working out, it's hiking, it's mom life, it's spit up,

614
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: it's all of it. And with Outdoor Voices for off

615
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: your first order of a hundred dollars or more, visit

616
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: outdoor Voices dot com, slash Janna and enter Janna. That's

617
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:58,719
Speaker 1: outdoor Voices dot com, slash Janna and enter Janna. So

618
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: I'm really excited because as I have, I never thought

619
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 1: I would say this. By the way, my business partner

620
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 1: in studio today, um miss Sarah Boyd Sarah for everyone

621
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: here can and my listeners obviously, can you just tell

622
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: everyone what you do because we not only work together

623
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: on our new business, but we also work together on

624
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: Instagram and socials so boom. Yeah. So my background is MPR.

625
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 1: I did that for about ten years, starting my own

626
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: company seven years ago, where we do events where we

627
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: connect people in the influencer space and then we also

628
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 1: represent manage celebrities in the digital space, so we help

629
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 1: them advised, monetized do all the things in terms of

630
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: social and digital which is amazing. So name some of

631
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: your clients Janna Kramer, Um, Olivia Culpo, Jamie Chung, Cat

632
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: Sadler Um. We've got about nineteen of them, so yeah.

633
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 1: And then the Bachelor people you've got been Ben Higgins

634
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: Lauren Bush. Now does that ever get weird because they like,

635
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: we're no, Well I actually met him when they were dating,

636
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: so no. But he's like the nicest human ever. I

637
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: don't know if you've met him, but he I have well,

638
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: and he doesn't eheart podcast too, so he's definitely like

639
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: in the FAMI and you know Lauren also, I love Lauren,

640
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 1: but that's every time now, I mean met Like when

641
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: I met that, I almost wanted to be like by

642
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: the way I rent with Lauren, is that okay? Like

643
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: do you do like, well you still like me? I

644
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 1: don't know, No, he doesn't care. He's the nicest human

645
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: I think I've ever met in my life. And Lauren's

646
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 1: the same. So they're they're super cool. Yeah yeah, well yeah,

647
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 1: and Sarah like what's so great too, is you know

648
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: she's introduced me to I feel like you're kind of

649
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 1: the reason why Michael and I got pregnant because you're

650
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 1: the one that introduced me. Will not be Yeah, because

651
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: you introduced me to the Ava bracelets. So I mean

652
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: there's so many things that are really cool that kind

653
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: of coming through social media. And yeah, you know, of course,

654
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: like we put add on our Instagram stuff, but it's

655
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: not it works. Everything's very authentic, like you make sure

656
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: that like everything fits with you know, what I do

657
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: and everything. So I think it's really cool. No, Ava

658
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 1: was great. But then I also love just connecting you

659
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: with other people in social like that whole trip we

660
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: did to NAPA and you met all of these girls

661
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: that now you work with, Like that's also part of

662
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: what I do too, is connecting well, speaking of the

663
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: Napa trip, that's when I came up with this idea. So, um,

664
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: you know we've had there's there's a ton of box subscriptions.

665
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 1: There's you know, there's a lot of them. But for

666
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: me personally as a mom, I have a really hard

667
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 1: time just buying something for myself. Usually I buy something

668
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: just for like Jolie, and Michael's always like I will

669
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: go shopping right babe, and then I'll be like, I

670
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: gotta get something, but I end up just leaving with

671
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 1: stuffer Joliet stuff for me because you get super guilty

672
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 1: for whatever reason. Dana is like, I want to go

673
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: buy a bat and suit. Then we get to the store,

674
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: She's like, no, I'm okay, and then I don't and

675
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 1: then I and I still what I do I want

676
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: to Target? So I was like, I'd love to go

677
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: to North Stroom to get a bathing suit for a

678
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: baby moon. And then I was like, no, it's it's okay.

679
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: But like Jolie got something and I got something, but

680
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: I've heard some reason like have a really hard time

681
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 1: with like getting stuff from my elf. So then I

682
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: was like, man, like, I've never known of a box

683
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: subscription where it could be like moms and kids. So

684
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: obviously Sarah's in this world and she's you know, amazing

685
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: relationships with like brand people. She's got a daughter the

686
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: exact same age as Jolie, and so I came to

687
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 1: her with this idea and it was called something before

688
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: and then we were kind of brainstorming and we came

689
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 1: up with the Moms and Babes box and she was like,

690
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: I want to be a part of it. And now

691
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: she's just been so instrumental and making sure like you know,

692
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,479
Speaker 1: getting brands and just like you mean you were like

693
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: the brand genius behind this box, so like, just thank you,

694
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: but I'm so excited, so we want to this is

695
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: today's official launch day, is yeah, so we kind of

696
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 1: want to run down the products of what's in the box.

697
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 1: So it's really cool. Um yeah, today is official launch

698
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,719
Speaker 1: of the box. So you can go, I'm Sarah'll let

699
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: you because you're like the business, the business side of it.

700
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I'm just like, this is the

701
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 1: boxing was my idea and none of that's like, now

702
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 1: come on, give us, give us the deets. No, like today,

703
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: We've been planning this for how many months now? It

704
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: has been a labor of love. Yeah, and um, we're

705
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: so excited that it's happening. Um. So yeah, it's Moms

706
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: and Babes box dot com. And you can get one

707
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 1: of three boxes or you can go all three if

708
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: you want. Um there's an infant box, a toddler box,

709
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 1: in a mom box, so depending on how old your

710
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: kid is or if you just want to be completely selfish,

711
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: which is okay. And by the way, the Mom Box,

712
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: let's just talk about that. The Mom Box is actually

713
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 1: the most expensive box. Um. It's retailed for two forty

714
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: eight but you can get it for They've got the

715
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: amazing concealer. There's a restorative mass that's actually fifty six dollars,

716
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: but again the box is only fifty nine. And then

717
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: there's the there's a bronzer, there's a um, a watermelon

718
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 1: face mask. There's a uh pretty hair growth growth serum.

719
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 1: There's a skin inc serum for your face, which is

720
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:56,760
Speaker 1: again insane. Um. So the mom Box is like loaded

721
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: with my favorite So even if you're not a mom,

722
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 1: this mom Box is like bang in with like the

723
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: best like face products. Yeah, it's amazing, and you know,

724
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: we wanted to create something that was good for moms

725
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: that are busy and they're tired and they don't be

726
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 1: like walking out and shopping and they need something to

727
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: like kind of pick them up. So a face mask,

728
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: your hair is falling out, hair growth scerum, you know,

729
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: like I know, so that one, that one definitely has

730
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: the best best value. But again for me, why I

731
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 1: started this is because I wanted to have something where

732
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 1: it was I got something, but also my kids. So

733
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: there's an infant in a toddler box where um, some

734
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 1: stuff is for the infant and then some stuff for

735
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: the mom. So in the infant there's the we you

736
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 1: want to talk about the infant box. Yeah, so, I

737
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys know about Aiden in a nase.

738
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 1: They are like the very best. My son lived in

739
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 1: the saddle. I had like fifteen of them and use

740
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: them for everything. So they put a swaddle blanket in UM.

741
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 1: There's also also this brand called Beblove and it's whenever

742
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: I give my daughter a bath, she's screaming because water

743
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 1: gets in her eyes. So this is a little hat

744
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: they wear in the bathtub so the water doesn't get there.

745
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:03,800
Speaker 1: I saw that instagram um Sprout a pouch from Sprout,

746
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 1: and then Well Elements put two products in, which is

747
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 1: the vitamin D drops and gripewater. So gripewater just side note,

748
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,280
Speaker 1: I give every new mom grapewater. It's it's a secret.

749
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: I discovered it three months in and I was like,

750
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: wait what, Yeah, it gets sort of hiccups. It's it's

751
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 1: like savior absolutely um. So that's in there. And then

752
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,720
Speaker 1: the Borders butt paste, the best, the best but paste

753
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 1: on the market. But then we don't want to forget

754
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 1: the mom because we also have the Bronzer to make

755
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: you feel like looking pretty and then a really nice

756
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: face mask too, um to go in with that, and

757
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 1: then the toddler box. Um again like all my daughter

758
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: really cares about right now is just like coloring. So

759
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: there's cryans and chalk, and then the m a great bathset,

760
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: and then of course you know, um, the skin inc

761
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 1: which is heaven on Earth for this baby magic. That's that. Yeah,

762
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: my son six and I still use this. Let's good

763
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: stuff for your skin. It's it's really good and you

764
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: want to keep that baby smell as long as you can,

765
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,919
Speaker 1: I know. So we're just really excited about it again.

766
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 1: It launches today. You can go to www. Dot Mom's

767
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: and babes box dot com and boxes are but go ahead,

768
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: my business lady. We've got a code for you. It's

769
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: for ten dollars off your first box. You can use

770
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 1: Moms and Babes so use that. You get ten dollars

771
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 1: off your first box. If you want just one box,

772
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 1: you can do that, or you could subscribe for you know,

773
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 1: to get it every quarter so every three months. If

774
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: you do that, you get another ten percent off, so

775
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: double the savings. People. If people sign up for the subscription,

776
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: can they change what box they want to get or

777
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: if they sign up for mom just the Mom's boxing

778
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 1: question answer. You can log in and you can change

779
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 1: it anytime because you know obviously your baby is going

780
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 1: to get older, um, so you can change. You know,

781
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 1: we have a lot of questions to like I have

782
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 1: a toddler and an infant? Can I switch back and forth? Yes,

783
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 1: you can log in whenever you want and change your

784
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 1: next box? Is it monthly? Is it quarterly? Quarterly? Quarterly?

785
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: And Mike, are you going to add a add box?

786
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: Dad's and Dudes? You want to do a d I

787
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 1: just don't think guys would buy the subscription, but the

788
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 1: wives would buy Easton would Yeah, maybe if you did,

789
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: if we did something where you did you know you

790
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: guys do quarterly, right, but then you do a fifth

791
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: bonus box or something. Yeah, that's that's a great idea.

792
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 1: We should do a Dad's and Dude is just for

793
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: like one run, just like, oh my god, guys are

794
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: not getting a percentage, goes to me. We should throw

795
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 1: some beer in there, like make it like do friendly

796
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: some beef, jerky dude supers. It's a really good idea. Yeah,

797
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,839
Speaker 1: thanks babe, Well, Sarah, thank you, like seriously so much.

798
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 1: I'm really excited for our launch today and to all

799
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: the moms out there again like this is this is

800
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: great for you. You can share and the whole thing

801
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 1: it's about just like having a box that comes for

802
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: both of you, guys. And again, don't feel don't feel

803
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 1: bad about being selfish if you just want your own

804
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,240
Speaker 1: box for yourself, for if your kids are outgrown the toddler,

805
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,399
Speaker 1: because the mom boxes banging and it's a great gift

806
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 1: for new moms right Like I remember when I had

807
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: a baby, I had a hundred flower bouquets and they

808
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: died in a week. Like this is such a great

809
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 1: gift that keeps giving for a new mom that needs it.

810
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 1: Www dot Moms and Babies box dot com. So for

811
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: my readers out there, the New Yorker is an iconic

812
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 1: magazine that represents the best writing in America today. Do

813
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: you guys read the New Yorker? I love the New Yorker,

814
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 1: I really do. And I'm the kind of person who

815
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: loves to have paper in my hands. I love to

816
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 1: read the actual newspaper. I always buy the paper magazines.

817
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 1: But the New Yorker is it's just lasted forever because

818
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: it's iconic and the writing, the articles, the journalism is

819
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 1: you know, it surpasses everyone else. I feel like you

820
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Speaker 1: can get kind of everything you want to out of.

821
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: It's like you can get fashion, you can get politics everything.

822
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 1: It's reliable digital age because I mean it's The New Yorker.

823
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: The thing is they can write about anything and make

824
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 1: it fascinating. Right, that's what you really like? Right? Do

825
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: what my interest in that? By a paragraph and you're like, yes,

826
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: I am interested in this because you can you can

827
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: actually choose between between print, digital or compos So, I

828
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: mean you'd like to hold something in your hands, This

829
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,839
Speaker 1: is actually you can. You can print it out. Um

830
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: with that subscription. So you subscribe to The New Yorker

831
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,399
Speaker 1: and read something that means something. So do not wait.

832
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 1: Goo to New Yorker dot com slash Janna. Listeners of

833
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:38,280
Speaker 1: the podcast say that's huge when they enter code Janna.

834
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: With the special offer, you'll receive twelve issues for just

835
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Speaker 1: six dollars, plus get the exclusive New Yorker to bag.

836
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Speaker 1: That's twelve issues for six dollars in a free toe bag.

837
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 1: When you go to New Yorker dot com slash Janna.

838
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 1: Umy just tell you really fast about my hair because

839
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: it's really nice right now, and it's because I'm taking

840
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 1: sugar Bear hair. Um. I actually had a friend to

841
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 1: Missy texted me and she said, hey, to sugar Bear

842
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 1: hair really work and I was like, yeah, girl, like

843
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 1: it really does. Um. I don't even know if I'm

844
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: gonna put my extensions back in because that's how well

845
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 1: they're working. It's as much vitamin A as four cups

846
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: of broccoli, as much vitamin C as one cup of cranberries,

847
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: and as much vitamin B twelve as four organtic eggs. Um.

848
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,919
Speaker 1: It's also great for your nails and your skin too.

849
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: So go to sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Jana

850
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 1: for beautiful hair and healthier you. Sugar bear Hair dot com,

851
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:29,800
Speaker 1: slash Janna sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Jana. Al Right, guys,

852
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: we have an incredible guest in our studio today, Malika

853
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: Chopra for the studio. Um, no relation to actual the father. Yeah,

854
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: Deep Deep Okay, let's we're talking about someone else, would

855
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:54,879
Speaker 1: you like? Okay? And I just love deepop Every time

856
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: his name is brought up, I just get goose bumps.

857
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: Like I brought everything and I worked with of it Oprah.

858
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: So you know, it's like he was the most incredible

859
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: person I was never like in front of talent wise

860
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 1: because he's so smart and so present away. And is

861
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: that how you kind of now followed his path in

862
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,839
Speaker 1: a way somewhat? You know, I found my own path

863
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: actually when I became a mom. So we grew up

864
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 1: with my dad, you know, doing his thing, but we

865
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 1: never really engaged in it that much until it became

866
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 1: more relevant to our own lives. So I mean, and

867
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,840
Speaker 1: now you're an author, which is incredible. You have a

868
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 1: new book out called Just Breathe, Meditation, Mindfulness, a movement

869
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: and more so, what is what is one thing that

870
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: like more Americans can be doing that is just breathing

871
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: and being more mindful of what they're doing in their

872
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: daily life? Or yes, So I wrote this book when

873
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 1: um my kids were about six to ten years old,

874
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: and it's a look an illustrated guide on meditation, Mindful,

875
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 1: the Miss Yoga Motivation four Kids, written for eight to

876
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: twelve year olds. And I really took inspiration from my

877
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,760
Speaker 1: own life. I learned how to meditate when I was nine,

878
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,720
Speaker 1: and um really have had like a career of seeing

879
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: how these practices affect families and children, and so I

880
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: wanted to write something that was four kids, Can you

881
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 1: share with us a mindfulness activity that moms can do

882
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 1: with their kids when they first wake up in the

883
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: morning or right before they go to sleep or are

884
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 1: there are two different ones that we can do in

885
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: the morning and at night. Yes. So there's so many

886
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 1: simple techniques and that's why in this book I really

887
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 1: focused on one to two minute techniques. So the first

888
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 1: one is literally just breathing, so um, just taking a

889
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: deep breath, breathing in, say to the count of three,

890
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: pausing and then breathing out. And what that does is

891
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: often take us from like an automatic fight flight anxiety

892
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: onst situations to being more grounded. Um. But what I

893
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,839
Speaker 1: do suggest to do with kids is at the end

894
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: of the day to think about something that you're grateful for, uh.

895
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: And that's a really nice way to just kind of

896
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 1: anchor the day. And then in the beginning of the day,

897
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: what I try to do is set an intention for

898
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: the day, So think of something you want to experience today,

899
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: whether it's like connecting with a friend or feeling inspired

900
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 1: or having energy. So those are simple things to do

901
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: with kids. Those are great. Those are great activities. What

902
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: do you suggest in the middle of a meltdown? What

903
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: they toddler to bring them back into the moment. So

904
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 1: I think I suggest first a parent stop and take

905
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: a deep breath. So actually, um, literally stop as is

906
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 1: for stop, tias for take a breath, oh is, just

907
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 1: observe what's happening in your body and then react because um,

908
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 1: when kids have tantrums, they also are reflecting, often with

909
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 1: the parents and how they're reacting. So um. And then

910
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: I actually, you know, we used to do things like

911
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 1: take a time in instead of a time out. Um,

912
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 1: So again just focusing on breathing. Um. And sometimes you

913
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 1: just got to let the kid have the tantrum and

914
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: just be present and let them do it, and then

915
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: they'll get over it and you move on. How about teens,

916
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: tweens and teens. Can we use the same techniques with

917
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 1: them or is there something else that works better with say,

918
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: teen girls who are a little over emotional and um,

919
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 1: having trouble you know, staying grounded and all of that.

920
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: So I have two girls, Um, there's sixteen and fourteens

921
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,439
Speaker 1: who are in the midst of the teenage thing. Um,

922
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: and teens definitely, and especially girls. There are so many

923
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: issues boys and girls, but from social media to body image,

924
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 1: to bullying to all the cattiness. And so that's actually

925
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 1: why I wrote this book UM, is to start giving

926
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 1: kids empowering tools to think about how they want to

927
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: control their own life. So UM, I do recommend again

928
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: short exercises where kids can just find some quiet UM

929
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 1: because then they get more connected with themselves and can

930
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 1: approach every day UM feeling more empowered in knowing who

931
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 1: they are and that they actually control situations and how

932
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 1: they react to things. So the book is actually filled

933
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 1: with many many exercises really focused on that age group.

934
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 1: What's the worst habit that we can do? UM, when

935
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 1: like our daughters having a temper tantrum, Like, what's the

936
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,800
Speaker 1: worst thing that we can either Is it starting on

937
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 1: the TV? Is it giving them food? Like, what's the

938
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 1: worst thing to like stop them from their temper tantrum?

939
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 1: So I think it's different ages. You said you had

940
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 1: two and a half two and a half. I think

941
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 1: with a two and a half year old, it's very

942
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 1: different than a fourteen year old. So the two and

943
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 1: a half year old, you know, sometimes they that's how

944
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: they're starting to express themselves. So UM, I think not

945
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 1: reacting to them. In fact, I think often up parents

946
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: get really angry or frustrated. Let them kind of acted out,

947
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 1: but also let them know that that's not not don't

948
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 1: give in to what they're having the tant temper tantrum

949
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 1: for because I think once you start doing that, you

950
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: actually create a pattern for their whole life that they

951
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 1: know that if they throw a tantrum, they may get

952
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: the benefit of it. So UM for that age, I

953
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 1: would recommend it. As kids grow older, especially in the

954
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: teenage years, what I've learned from my daughters is, um,

955
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: if you engage too much in the drama, for example,

956
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: like they've had some fight with their friend and suddenly

957
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,319
Speaker 1: you know you're involved in all the melodrama of it.

958
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 1: Often um, their stories are really um exaggerated versions of

959
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: what happened. So don't kind of just immediately jump on

960
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: the bandwagon with their emotional drama. Look at and all

961
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 1: the work that you've done with children. Is there a

962
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:56,399
Speaker 1: big you know, change or discrepancy between what you would

963
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 1: advise adults to practice in mindfulness meditation as opposed to

964
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: it's like, is it just more simplistic for children or

965
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,879
Speaker 1: is it kind of the same. Honestly, it's the same thing.

966
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 1: So one of the feedbacks I'm getting from my book,

967
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 1: which was written for eight to twelve year olds, is

968
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 1: that a lot of adults I think it's the easiest

969
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 1: meditation book they've read. Um. I think a lot of

970
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 1: especially for adults, there is a lot of intellectualization of

971
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 1: this stuff, when honestly, it's really simple. It's just simple

972
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 1: techniques of breathing, being quiet, observing your body, being mindful,

973
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 1: so mindful, walking, mindful eating things like that. It doesn't

974
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 1: have to be complicated. UM. What I would recommend, and

975
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,880
Speaker 1: this is a strong parenting advice to parents who are

976
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 1: listening out there, is don't force your kids to meditate. UM.

977
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 1: And I know that from my own experience with my dad,

978
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: which is UM, rather as parents, do your practice and

979
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,439
Speaker 1: your kids will follow you, and UM. Kids also, let

980
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: them try it for a minute, thirty seconds, five minutes,

981
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,239
Speaker 1: you know, let them figure it out. And that's why

982
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:58,879
Speaker 1: I wrote this book to empower kids directly rather than

983
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 1: kind of going through parents. That's amazing. Now, the last

984
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: couple of years I've tried to get into some kind

985
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: of meditation practice and I have a d D and

986
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 1: I have a hard time. I've tried my UM like

987
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 1: guided meditation. That's where I found when I can do it,

988
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: that's kind of the route to goo. Do you have

989
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: any suggestions for with you know, children with short attention

990
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 1: spans or adults like myself that kind of have that

991
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 1: same issue. Yes. So the main thing is don't get

992
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 1: stressed about not meditating, because that's beside the point. And so,

993
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:30,399
Speaker 1: you know, it's so true. I'm saying with a guy

994
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 1: and I'm like, they're like, think about a stream, and

995
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I doing tomorrow? I'm like, oh God,

996
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 1: I sing? And then it's like student is not working

997
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,280
Speaker 1: in the It's like your mind is always going to wander.

998
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: We cannot technically empty our minds. That's like that's a misperception, um.

999
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 1: And so you know, and meditation is not about like

1000
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 1: sitting in lotus position and just being still. So the

1001
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: goal of this book is to present many different techniques

1002
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 1: and figure out what works for you. So for some people, UM,

1003
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 1: they need to move and that's a big part of kids. UM.

1004
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 1: So that's why maybe it's movement, meditation, walking, meditation, yoga

1005
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,799
Speaker 1: poses for many people even in their runs and things

1006
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 1: like that. Um, So you know, there are many different techniques.

1007
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: Um So, like when he's working out in the garage,

1008
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 1: like lifting weights, like he can do a guided meditation

1009
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 1: during that. Not even that, I would say, even be

1010
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,879
Speaker 1: just observe what your body is going through. But try

1011
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 1: to do it without music, you know, so you know

1012
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 1: that you're really more aware of your body. So that's

1013
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 1: just a really simple way to be more mindful of

1014
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: your body and what you're going through. I think so

1015
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 1: many of us distract ourselves constantly with either podcasts or

1016
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 1: news or music. Consider exactly, Yeah, just the one. But

1017
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: you know, try to spend two minutes just being quiet

1018
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 1: and actually observing your body, and you will see that

1019
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: you start, um feeling more connected. I like what you

1020
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:57,760
Speaker 1: said about don't feel stressed about not meditating, and so said,

1021
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:01,799
Speaker 1: is that still beneficial meditation? If you're sitting there and

1022
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 1: you're thinking about maybe the rest of your day, you're

1023
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 1: thinking about what you have coming up this week, but

1024
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 1: you're still just sitting there and being present, that is

1025
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 1: that still beneficial? Yes? So it is. And then again,

1026
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 1: there are some techniques that help you, um kind of

1027
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 1: deal with wandering thoughts. So one meditation I recommend is

1028
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 1: just repeating the words I am, I am. And now

1029
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 1: what happens is your attention will drift away. That's totally normal,

1030
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:30,760
Speaker 1: natural and exactly what your minds supposed to do. And actually, um,

1031
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 1: one can learn from the fact that if you can't

1032
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 1: slow your mind down, it actually probably means you need

1033
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: it more. Um. And so actually just even having that

1034
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 1: racing mind is a form of releasing stress. Um. And

1035
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 1: so you know it actually has many benefits even just

1036
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 1: sitting interesting. Wow, Well, I think that's really amazing. So

1037
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: we're Um, your book now is out I mean everywhere, right, yeah,

1038
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 1: people for you there will be out everywhere. Amazon is

1039
00:51:57,080 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 1: amazone and then where else can our listens find you?

1040
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 1: So I have a website Molica Chopra dot com. It's

1041
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: m A L L I K A choke run dot

1042
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: com and um, I have several books and blog and

1043
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: all over so you can find everything there. Well, thank you.

1044
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 1: I'm excited because I need to just I think a

1045
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: good tip is just to start, even if it's two

1046
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: minutes to even listen to the radio, absolutely and just

1047
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 1: to you can do it. Yeah, I love fascinating I'm incredible.

1048
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you, thank you for having me.

1049
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: So we got a lot of emails, and I really

1050
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 1: enjoyed the genre of email. We got busted doing it.

1051
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,720
Speaker 1: What do you mean because last week you talked about

1052
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 1: how that's fun you're with your boyfriend best your mom

1053
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 1: put the letter out of the door. That was hilarious.

1054
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 1: We have a bunch of these. So this is from

1055
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 1: an anonymous email learned. Big fan, by the way, been

1056
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 1: following you since the Onetrey Hill days as a country

1057
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 1: music artist. I saw you playing Utah once your podcast

1058
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: at the first podcast I've ever listened to, and I

1059
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 1: can't thank you enough for It's not It's very sweet.

1060
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:03,360
Speaker 1: She was She was sixteen, just short of her seventeenth birthday.

1061
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 1: Her boyfriend was eighteen. We were at my house and

1062
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 1: my parents were at a party. We were just about

1063
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 1: to do the thing when we heard my parents come home.

1064
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: I've never seen a person get dressed so fast. He

1065
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 1: hid and I just laid in my bed, completely covered up,

1066
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: and when my parents came in, I pretended it didn't

1067
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 1: feel good and said it must have been something we

1068
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: ate on our date. My parents left and we continued

1069
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 1: to have sex upstairs, I guess, and they just continued

1070
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,439
Speaker 1: and then but then the little plot twist. I guess.

1071
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 1: She says, my number is one. That was my boyfriend Kyle.

1072
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 1: He is now my husband. See that been together since

1073
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 1: I was fourteen. I'm thirty two now, and I was

1074
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:49,320
Speaker 1: pregnant with our first baby. Stories. I think that's amazing.

1075
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 1: Do you think they ever told to please? I mean,

1076
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,919
Speaker 1: you're married with a kid, you have to tell your parents.

1077
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 1: So if you haven't, tell it, because I think that's

1078
00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 1: a really funny story. And Christmas Eve a few wine. Yeah.

1079
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 1: If not, you need to find her and have her

1080
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 1: on and then have her call her parents. That's so fun.

1081
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,320
Speaker 1: I would love I know, that's really really really cute.

1082
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 1: All right, the next email, we actually have the caller

1083
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 1: on the lines. Let me directly with her. She's going

1084
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:19,320
Speaker 1: to made anonymous for this. This is a tough situation.

1085
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 1: My boyfriend of three years and the father of two

1086
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:26,320
Speaker 1: of my children kids cheated on me when I was

1087
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 1: seven months pregnant. Before cheating, we'd fight about commitment. I

1088
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,399
Speaker 1: want to be married. I'm twenty five. We have kids,

1089
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 1: a house, who run a business together. We have a

1090
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:37,080
Speaker 1: golden retriever. I mean, perfect picture family. Yeah, but he refused,

1091
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:38,719
Speaker 1: which made me always feel like there was something wrong

1092
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 1: with me. He talked to his ex all the time.

1093
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,040
Speaker 1: I'd catch him. He texted her on Mother's Day of

1094
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 1: seventeen if she ever wanted to have sex. She put

1095
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 1: a screenshot of that on Facebook. Thank you, Wait, I'm sorry.

1096
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 1: Repeat that. So on Mother Day of seventeen, her boyfriend

1097
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 1: texted his ex saying one to have sex, and the

1098
00:54:56,680 --> 00:55:01,319
Speaker 1: ex put that up on Facebook and everyone knows. Oh no, my,

1099
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 1: so he cheated, she says. I came back after the cheating.

1100
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 1: He cheated again with a different girl. I actually showed

1101
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 1: up at her house. Here we are still together now.

1102
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,919
Speaker 1: Our battle because I'm constantly accusing me of cheating, which

1103
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 1: I've never But the biggest slap in the face was

1104
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:22,080
Speaker 1: him saying he will not touch another woman and he

1105
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,880
Speaker 1: will marry me if I agree to have three sims

1106
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:29,840
Speaker 1: occasionally throughout Oh my god, I have cried for hours.

1107
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 1: I love him, he makes me laugh, he supports me

1108
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: and the kids. But I do not think I can

1109
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,640
Speaker 1: accept these terms, and I cannot accept him seeing someone else.

1110
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 1: By the way, you're oh my god, John was very

1111
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 1: judgmental and shaming. I'm sorry. I just that was the

1112
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 1: seen the and she's anonymous, so we don't know her anonymous,

1113
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,800
Speaker 1: and she's online eleven and here she is. It would

1114
00:55:55,120 --> 00:56:02,760
Speaker 1: I just want to say, he hi, him my anonymous girl.

1115
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,959
Speaker 1: We're all just like okay, So you have me, Jen,

1116
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 1: my husband, and then the rest of the studio East

1117
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 1: and Mark Tory. Um, we just read your email, okay, okay,

1118
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 1: First of all, do not feel like a moron. Everyone

1119
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,760
Speaker 1: just needs to take a big deep breath right now. Ready, Okay,

1120
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: who wants to go first? Um? Honey, do you want

1121
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 1: to go first on this one? Oh? Anonymous? Um, My

1122
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 1: heart honestly breaks here. We we have a lot of

1123
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:41,240
Speaker 1: empathy in the studio right now for you and unfortunately

1124
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:44,680
Speaker 1: at least for me. Um. Kind of with the final

1125
00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: his terms of occasional threesomes, that is not something that

1126
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: you should not be in a position to have to

1127
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 1: agree to for someone to marry you. First of all.

1128
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: Second of all, even if you did, okay, then you're

1129
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 1: just opening the door for him to to cheat even

1130
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 1: more or do anymore. Because if he tries to throw

1131
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 1: that at your face, well, I technically slept with another

1132
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 1: woman with you and it was a three sum, so

1133
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: why can't I it's just gonna it's alecurities about yourself

1134
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 1: and like are only going to get worse too with

1135
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 1: the fact that you know it's I mean that's that's

1136
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 1: could you live? Like? Is that something? I do love

1137
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: him enough to be able to live with that? So

1138
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 1: um to be honest, I have already given him one

1139
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 1: okay before our daughter came this is this world. Afterwards,

1140
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 1: I just felt ashamed for one, because like I had

1141
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 1: to get drug to do it, and for two, like

1142
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 1: I just felt like I felt dirty, Like I was

1143
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 1: like I shared something that I would like I hold

1144
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 1: like between him and I, like are our bedroom life

1145
00:57:56,920 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 1: is very intimate to me and like it's just between

1146
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 1: two people, and I'm just I'm a firm believer of that.

1147
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, I disregarded my own

1148
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 1: morals for him and I struggled with it really bad afterwards,

1149
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 1: and he just had like no compassion. He's like, I

1150
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 1: don't understand lesly fun and I'm like it wasn't fun,

1151
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: Like it broke my heart to see you with another

1152
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 1: woman like it just like and so like when the

1153
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 1: cheating did happen? All I can think of is like

1154
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 1: how that that scenario went. And I just like and

1155
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: like I tormented myself, was like, oh, this is what happened,

1156
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 1: Like it was these new girls, and I was just

1157
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:37,439
Speaker 1: you know, I just don't think I like I told

1158
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 1: must like, I just don't think it'd be fair. Like

1159
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,880
Speaker 1: I was like, how would you feel if we flip

1160
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: the tables, you know, and you had to see me

1161
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:46,920
Speaker 1: with another man? Like, and he's like, well, I kill him.

1162
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 1: How do you expect me to not build these things?

1163
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 1: Like I'm human? And he just he's like it's totally different.

1164
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 1: Girls changed down there whenever they or with another man.

1165
00:58:56,560 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 1: I'm just like, A, yeah, that is complete delusional. I mean.

1166
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:06,919
Speaker 1: And here's the thing, Like, A sure this could work

1167
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 1: for some couples, you know where they this. You know,

1168
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:13,080
Speaker 1: I have known couples yeah that do that, and it's

1169
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 1: fine for them. It's fine for the woman, it's fine

1170
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: for them, everything's great. But you like your I like,

1171
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 1: I feel your heart hurt. You know. It's like I

1172
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 1: feel you're like pain like I And that's like you

1173
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 1: don't I understand. You guys have three kids together, and

1174
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:28,800
Speaker 1: I know that's got to be so hard because you

1175
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 1: want to, like and you want to be married, you

1176
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 1: want to just be with him, and you know he

1177
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 1: does sound like he does support you on other things

1178
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 1: and he's good to you in other places. But that's

1179
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 1: just that's just so unhealthy. It sounds like to me

1180
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 1: for you, you know, have you guys gone to couples therapy? No,

1181
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: he is um. He's like completely gives any emotional like

1182
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 1: anyone really, like even with our kids, Like he has

1183
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,439
Speaker 1: a hard time how old is he? It's any five

1184
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: as well? And I know he's young because we started

1185
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 1: having baby. He had his first year, but young or

1186
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,760
Speaker 1: not I know, year olds and put in the situation,

1187
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 1: you know, like so I just it's it's I don't

1188
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 1: think it's about being young. And I mean, sure you

1189
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 1: could use that excuse, but I don't think that's His

1190
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 1: parents are so different, like this upbringing was so different

1191
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 1: than mine. Like we kind of have we like we've

1192
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 1: argued in the past, like my family is more you know,

1193
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 1: we we celebrate birthdays and we talked about feelings and

1194
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 1: his family's like business business business, like don't much in

1195
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,360
Speaker 1: love his weakness, like he's just been raised that way.

1196
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 1: He's his mother's that way, and I like I struggle

1197
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 1: with them, like I don't understand how you have like

1198
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:46,480
Speaker 1: no softness, Like where's there's the soft part of the

1199
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 1: human being. Like it's yeah, business is great and all,

1200
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 1: but like at the end of the day, who you

1201
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: share it with? You know, you're closed off so so

1202
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 1: much like I don't want my children to be closed

1203
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 1: off and have emotional problems. No, I don't know. Yeah, no,

1204
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 1: I hear you. And and also like too with it.

1205
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 1: It's like you, you know, can you live your life?

1206
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 1: Because again, if you guys, if you agree to this,

1207
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:13,479
Speaker 1: you like, like everyone said, here he's going to cheat again,

1208
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 1: Like are you okay with that? Him cheating again? Like

1209
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,000
Speaker 1: is that the is that? What would you be okay

1210
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 1: with that? No? I mean like it drives me insane,

1211
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I taught it, Like I mean I lost

1212
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:28,240
Speaker 1: it the last time life packed all my kids in

1213
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: the car and well that's the thing. You don't want

1214
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,280
Speaker 1: your kids around that, you know. I mean, that's just

1215
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 1: I mean time to grow up thinking that's what a

1216
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,919
Speaker 1: relationship is. Yeah, And that was aeater. So I think

1217
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 1: like I'm like, oh my gosh, it's karma. Getting back

1218
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: at First of all, don't ever say that it's not karma. Bay. Sometimes,

1219
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 1: you know, we we see the good people and unfortunately

1220
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:53,560
Speaker 1: things happen and it's but it's nothing that you did.

1221
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 1: There's no karma in that situation at all. Yeah, we

1222
01:01:56,280 --> 01:02:00,040
Speaker 1: might have picked people like our our father, but you

1223
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 1: have a chance not to change that. You have a

1224
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 1: chance to be able to you know, they can still

1225
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:08,840
Speaker 1: have a great relationship with him, and you guys can

1226
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:12,240
Speaker 1: comparent amazing. But you should find someone that wants the

1227
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: same things as you, which is passion and intimacy and

1228
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 1: just you and in that relationship and relationship commitment that's

1229
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 1: for both of you, you know, not not bringing in

1230
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 1: other people. I think a good plan. I think you

1231
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 1: should start going to individual therapy because I think if

1232
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 1: you start spending time talking to a therapist for forty

1233
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 1: five minutes a week and unloading you, you need to

1234
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:41,920
Speaker 1: release a lot of this and you also need to

1235
01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: build up your self esteem, um so that you can

1236
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:48,160
Speaker 1: make the decision. Because I mean, girlfriend, put your put

1237
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 1: your walk and shoes on. That deserve so much more.

1238
01:02:51,600 --> 01:02:54,880
Speaker 1: You are so young, you have just how much time

1239
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 1: to restart, you know, And then years on the line,

1240
01:02:58,160 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 1: you can think, thank god I got out of that

1241
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:04,919
Speaker 1: page that I was trapped in because especially now, and

1242
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:08,120
Speaker 1: I can understand where therapy might seem scary, but also

1243
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 1: financially it can be a struggle sometimes because I understand

1244
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 1: that stuff gets pricey, but it would be worth the investment,

1245
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:16,920
Speaker 1: would be worth looking into. And like Mark just said,

1246
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 1: unless you're okay to cut ties now, because if you

1247
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,240
Speaker 1: can do it now, yes, but even so, I still

1248
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:24,520
Speaker 1: think you should unload this stuff to somebody. But you're

1249
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,200
Speaker 1: going to look back, like Mark just said, you know

1250
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 1: when you're like thirty, and thank god that you did

1251
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 1: this now because your kids are going to be in

1252
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 1: a better place. You're going to be in a better place.

1253
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:35,720
Speaker 1: And like you said earlier that you know your kids,

1254
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:37,440
Speaker 1: you don't want your kids to be exposed to this.

1255
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:39,360
Speaker 1: Well now is you're trying to make the decision to

1256
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:41,640
Speaker 1: make sure that they're not. And it doesn't sound like

1257
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 1: to me like he's gonna wake up and change his

1258
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 1: mind and all of a sudden be like you know

1259
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 1: what I want, like just you and I'm gonna I'm

1260
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 1: gonna work on myself. And he doesn't sound like a

1261
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:54,360
Speaker 1: lifestyle he's going to continue to live. I guess my

1262
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 1: biggest fear is like he's for like the past three years,

1263
01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 1: he's told me like, you should appreciate ate the fact

1264
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 1: that I'm being honest, that the most men won't be

1265
01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 1: Like that's great that he's honest, but that's not the

1266
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 1: kind of person you want, like Lady Knew, Yeah, I mean,

1267
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 1: that's total manipulation. And I mean, Mike, you could be like, yeah, well,

1268
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 1: I I told you I cheated, but you know I'm

1269
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 1: gonna I want to keep doing it. Well, okay, thank

1270
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,480
Speaker 1: you for telling me. But I don't want to mean

1271
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:24,480
Speaker 1: but I don't want to be I don't want to

1272
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,200
Speaker 1: be with something that's not going to be faithful in

1273
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 1: our marriage and or that wants to do these things

1274
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,120
Speaker 1: like no, that's not what I that's not what I want.

1275
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean, again, kudos for him for telling

1276
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,680
Speaker 1: you the truth at the same time, like that's not

1277
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: what you want at the end of the day, with

1278
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:44,400
Speaker 1: what he's now asking you to do exactly like I

1279
01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:47,440
Speaker 1: just and I don't like, I like, listen to your podcast, right,

1280
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:49,439
Speaker 1: and you guys like said things like how you guys

1281
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 1: like would approach each other with it and how to

1282
01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 1: deal with it, and like I finally broke down and

1283
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 1: I was like, I just made you to tell me,

1284
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 1: like what I didn't get? Like what was I not giving?

1285
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,120
Speaker 1: Like tell me where I was acting in this relationship

1286
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 1: because I've given you my everything, Like I've given you

1287
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 1: more than I have anyone. You used to put him

1288
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 1: before my kids? And what do you say? And I

1289
01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:18,800
Speaker 1: think it's just that I just if I can line

1290
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:20,920
Speaker 1: up a girl, a role of girls, I would just

1291
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 1: want to try them all. You know, it sounds like

1292
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 1: he is a serious issue. Yes, And let me just

1293
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:29,400
Speaker 1: say this too, I'm sorry that you even had to

1294
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:32,320
Speaker 1: ask him that question. And I understand why you'd make

1295
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:35,040
Speaker 1: it personal And when Jane and Jane and I have

1296
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:37,560
Speaker 1: gone through our stuff, you know she still has issues

1297
01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:41,480
Speaker 1: with personalizing it. But just no, honestly, it has nothing

1298
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 1: to do with you, by the way, he says that now,

1299
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 1: And I still I'm like, no, it does. I don't

1300
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 1: look like this and I don't look like this, but

1301
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:51,959
Speaker 1: it But when you're in your healthy brain, you can

1302
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 1: you can be like, Okay, it really doesn't. So Janna

1303
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:57,200
Speaker 1: still struggles with that, and that's something that I still

1304
01:05:57,240 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 1: try to articulate and explain to her, but it's very,

1305
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:01,720
Speaker 1: very difficult. So I'm not saying it's easy that all

1306
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:03,200
Speaker 1: of a sudden you can just flip a switch, but

1307
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:07,640
Speaker 1: just know, try to remind yourself this honestly has nothing

1308
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:09,160
Speaker 1: to do with you. And we are not just saying

1309
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:12,880
Speaker 1: that because Jenna and I lived that every day, okay,

1310
01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:16,040
Speaker 1: and I still struggle with it. So it but it

1311
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:19,480
Speaker 1: really truly it's it hasn't It really doesn't have anything

1312
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 1: to do with you. You did not do anything wrong,

1313
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 1: and you're going to be okay, but you need to

1314
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,840
Speaker 1: You need to get you need to talk to someone

1315
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:30,640
Speaker 1: and and and get in a better place for you

1316
01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:32,920
Speaker 1: and those kids. Lean on the people that love you

1317
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 1: and support you, Okay, get help with the kids where

1318
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:39,200
Speaker 1: you can take care of yourself, because you can't do

1319
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 1: anything for those kids until you take care of yourself.

1320
01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 1: We're rooting for your girl. Thank you, guys, Okay, thanks

1321
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:48,280
Speaker 1: for you, honestly, thank you for Sharon the problem. Have

1322
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:56,480
Speaker 1: a good day alright. Bye. Wow. I hope she leaves.

1323
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 1: I hate saying that because it's like I always want

1324
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 1: to give someone the like, but he does not sound

1325
01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:05,360
Speaker 1: like he is willing to try to be a potter.

1326
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 1: But even again, again, it's not even just about being

1327
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 1: twenty five or being a child. It's like he just

1328
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 1: he's not willing to like I don't mean he's child

1329
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:15,200
Speaker 1: and maybe his brain he's a child. He's like that.

1330
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:17,520
Speaker 1: He's like a fifteen year old kid looking at duty magazines.

1331
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 1: He's a socio life style. I wonder I was gonna ask.

1332
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 1: I didn't want her to feel obligated to answer and

1333
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:27,280
Speaker 1: give up any information, but I wanted, you know, geographically

1334
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 1: and demographically where geographically where they live and if it's

1335
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:34,040
Speaker 1: I was thinking the same thing, and I didn't thought

1336
01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:38,560
Speaker 1: she would be afraid that it would give something, especially

1337
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:43,280
Speaker 1: having kids young and she really needs to work on

1338
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:46,320
Speaker 1: herself because she needs to build up her It just

1339
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:49,560
Speaker 1: breaks my self confident because she leaves because if not,

1340
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:51,640
Speaker 1: she's going to have a miserable, freaking life with him.

1341
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:53,600
Speaker 1: So she hasn't been able to do anything for herself

1342
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 1: when she was seventeen because she's just been having kids. Yeah,

1343
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:03,120
Speaker 1: it's not living. Let's lighten things up a bit. Almost

1344
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:06,480
Speaker 1: got caught story. She was fifteen. It was New Year's Eve.

1345
01:08:07,240 --> 01:08:08,840
Speaker 1: The guys at the time was eighteen and about to

1346
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:10,800
Speaker 1: leave for boot camp. We went to his church for

1347
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:13,240
Speaker 1: a New Year's Eve party and I was sick and

1348
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:16,799
Speaker 1: drugged up on niqul. He wanted to lose his virginity

1349
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:19,120
Speaker 1: and convinced me to lose mind to him. We sneaked

1350
01:08:19,120 --> 01:08:22,080
Speaker 1: into the church weight room and it happened. I lost

1351
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:29,400
Speaker 1: my virginity into the church. I was mortified. I'm probably

1352
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:32,400
Speaker 1: going to help for this. No, you're not. And then

1353
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:34,400
Speaker 1: we did hear from some other virgins. This is a

1354
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:37,240
Speaker 1: male virgin who's thirty three. Oh, by the way, he

1355
01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 1: got mad at me. I read that one. Yeah, I

1356
01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:40,400
Speaker 1: shortened it down when he was mad at He was

1357
01:08:40,439 --> 01:08:43,320
Speaker 1: mad at me, but he says sex isn't important to him.

1358
01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 1: But he also said that it was me that I said,

1359
01:08:47,479 --> 01:08:49,719
Speaker 1: you know when I was like, you were twenty two,

1360
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:52,799
Speaker 1: like like that was so late for it to have sex.

1361
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:58,040
Speaker 1: And you know, maybe he's a Sexually people just have

1362
01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:00,080
Speaker 1: no interest in it, right, and you're a sexual and

1363
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:02,920
Speaker 1: they have no interest in having sucks. It's fine. I

1364
01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:09,479
Speaker 1: don't know, but we're not. Thanks for listening. That's awesome,

1365
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 1: and this is scholar. This is interesting. She's been with

1366
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:17,400
Speaker 1: her husband she was nineteen. They've been together thirty three years.

1367
01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:20,679
Speaker 1: They've been at thirty three years, and now her husband

1368
01:09:20,760 --> 01:09:23,240
Speaker 1: is thinking, you know, I never dated much. Would it

1369
01:09:23,240 --> 01:09:29,960
Speaker 1: be cheating if I started dating some other people? What? What? Uh?

1370
01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:33,200
Speaker 1: That's what she says. She says, after thirty or three

1371
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:35,479
Speaker 1: years of marriage, we don't necessarily want to have sex

1372
01:09:35,520 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 1: with anybody else. But he decided that he's never dated

1373
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:39,800
Speaker 1: much and things would be interesting to be with someone

1374
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:44,639
Speaker 1: of a different personality. Is that still cheating? Yes? Really

1375
01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:46,880
Speaker 1: such a thing as an emotional affair or is it

1376
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 1: just curiosity emotional affair? So do you guys think call

1377
01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:55,280
Speaker 1: passes are cheating? Yes, if you're putting your whatever in

1378
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:59,559
Speaker 1: another whatever, you're cheating. Or if you're talking or texting

1379
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:02,080
Speaker 1: or you're cheating that. But that goes back to the whole.

1380
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,000
Speaker 1: If people like to watch porn together, have or have

1381
01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:07,000
Speaker 1: three sims or whatever it is, Yeah, one of those things.

1382
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:09,720
Speaker 1: If you know, it's just And then she says, if

1383
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:12,160
Speaker 1: you have sex with someone else, I feel like you

1384
01:10:12,280 --> 01:10:13,960
Speaker 1: have to ask him to be tested before I do

1385
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 1: it with him, because I don't know where that girl

1386
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:19,240
Speaker 1: is bad? Oh my god. I mean everybody has their

1387
01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:22,360
Speaker 1: own life. Whatever works for you, girlfriend would do it.

1388
01:10:22,439 --> 01:10:23,920
Speaker 1: I just know it would not work for me, and

1389
01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:26,800
Speaker 1: I would send my man for I mean think they're

1390
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:31,160
Speaker 1: probably in their fifties. Yeah, three years. I mean I

1391
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:34,240
Speaker 1: always joke about like, oh if Shampain shows up, I'm

1392
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:46,240
Speaker 1: off se uh but it would still Bill his personality

1393
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:49,120
Speaker 1: so weird? Do you just wanted to tell you jokes

1394
01:10:49,160 --> 01:10:52,840
Speaker 1: while you guys like sleep together? Is the show over?

1395
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:57,280
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even talk about Halloween. Customers, go ahead, you

1396
01:10:57,280 --> 01:11:00,519
Speaker 1: can do off a couple. So, um, been waiting a

1397
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 1: week for this. I can order my freaking costumes. Well

1398
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:05,120
Speaker 1: here's here's the few that I got from Instagram. Um.

1399
01:11:05,479 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 1: They asked some mo wanna so you would be what's

1400
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:12,840
Speaker 1: his favor? Yes, Mally you would have hair and tattoo

1401
01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:18,080
Speaker 1: that's nice al right, next your shirt off, just like

1402
01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:21,080
Speaker 1: all tattoos, Mallie with big freaking hair. They need to

1403
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:24,160
Speaker 1: be the grandma. Well, I don't know, it was my favorite,

1404
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:27,799
Speaker 1: but then Jolie could be Moanna. That'd be so cute,

1405
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:30,439
Speaker 1: and I could be even like I could be like

1406
01:11:30,479 --> 01:11:36,679
Speaker 1: maybe the Chicken or something, but I love that one.

1407
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:41,439
Speaker 1: And then um, someone said the Incredibles but um and

1408
01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:44,840
Speaker 1: then okay, this is really funny originality, e. This is

1409
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:49,320
Speaker 1: a funny one. Mommy Daddy, baby shark do do do do? Oh?

1410
01:11:49,640 --> 01:12:00,519
Speaker 1: My mom shark? Who would be like that was funny?

1411
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:02,960
Speaker 1: We get on the sharks, so it's like it'd be

1412
01:12:03,040 --> 01:12:09,680
Speaker 1: daddy and you know, like I just I don't know, Yeah,

1413
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:11,479
Speaker 1: I think. I mean we didn't know everybody because we're

1414
01:12:11,479 --> 01:12:16,800
Speaker 1: walking down to the tom and all the kids would

1415
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:19,479
Speaker 1: hear us and start chiming in. Yeah, I know, So

1416
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:21,879
Speaker 1: those are this I like my favorites are the Mowana

1417
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:24,640
Speaker 1: you being him, and then m the baby shark to

1418
01:12:24,680 --> 01:12:28,880
Speaker 1: do to do? Okay, that's zinc Yeah, monsters inc. Where

1419
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:33,400
Speaker 1: my Mike would be Sally, not Mike, and then you

1420
01:12:33,439 --> 01:12:37,400
Speaker 1: would be Mike Whowski and then Jolie would be there's

1421
01:12:37,439 --> 01:12:39,040
Speaker 1: a picture of a monster here. I'm not sure that

1422
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:40,639
Speaker 1: monster has a name, but it's one of the monsters

1423
01:12:40,680 --> 01:12:43,720
Speaker 1: from Oh no, it's the Little Girls the monster. Yeah

1424
01:12:43,880 --> 01:12:46,200
Speaker 1: that's cute. Well, Jolie was Jolie was a monster two

1425
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:47,800
Speaker 1: years ago. So I don't want to do that one right.

1426
01:12:48,080 --> 01:12:51,280
Speaker 1: But if Mike was really Wonka, you were Bruk, the

1427
01:12:51,280 --> 01:12:56,479
Speaker 1: one that blows up into a big would be Jolie.

1428
01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:00,360
Speaker 1: Jolie is the lompa. I'd be the because I'm pregnant,

1429
01:13:00,479 --> 01:13:02,840
Speaker 1: and then Jolie would be because she's like, I want that.

1430
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:07,280
Speaker 1: How about Julia's Captain hat? And you guys are thinking

1431
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:11,759
Speaker 1: one thing too. I feel like that's been done. Anything

1432
01:13:11,760 --> 01:13:13,680
Speaker 1: one thing to have. But if Jolie's cat in the hat,

1433
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:17,000
Speaker 1: it's pretty good. Janny Janet is Winnie the Pooh, Julie

1434
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:21,519
Speaker 1: is Piglet, and Mike is Christopher Robin don't tigger, But

1435
01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:27,479
Speaker 1: all right, that's cute. Despicable me. Julie's a minion, Mike

1436
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:31,160
Speaker 1: is grew and your Mrs Grow one was my favorite.

1437
01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:36,320
Speaker 1: I love that. That one's cute. That one could be cute. Okay,

1438
01:13:36,320 --> 01:13:37,920
Speaker 1: we're gonna think about those. If you guys have any

1439
01:13:37,920 --> 01:13:42,400
Speaker 1: more though, yeah, that could be cool. It's cool. Jannah Craman,

1440
01:13:42,439 --> 01:13:44,040
Speaker 1: I heart media dot com. If you have any more

1441
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:45,920
Speaker 1: interesting one so far, I so like them. Wanna and

1442
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:50,120
Speaker 1: Baby Shark to today was fun, guys, it was It

1443
01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:57,479
Speaker 1: was deep hi all the way around. Um, but thank

1444
01:13:57,479 --> 01:13:58,920
Speaker 1: you so much to Hella Fresh for a total of

1445
01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:01,000
Speaker 1: six dollars off visit how Love Fresh dot com. Slash

1446
01:14:01,040 --> 01:14:05,200
Speaker 1: Cramer sixty stamps dot com, free postage, a digital scale,

1447
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:07,000
Speaker 1: and a four week trial at stamps dot com and

1448
01:14:07,160 --> 01:14:10,519
Speaker 1: entered Janna. Outdoor Voices for off your first order of

1449
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:13,240
Speaker 1: a hundred dollars or more, Visit outdoor Voices dot com

1450
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:16,519
Speaker 1: slash Janna, and entered Jannah The New Yorker Go to

1451
01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:20,040
Speaker 1: New Yorker dot com slash Janna. Listeners of podcasts say

1452
01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:23,040
Speaker 1: fifty when they enter code Janna. And of course, thank

1453
01:14:23,080 --> 01:14:24,559
Speaker 1: you to sugar Bear Hair. Go to sugar Bear Hair

1454
01:14:24,680 --> 01:14:27,599
Speaker 1: dot com slash Janna for a beautiful hair and healthier

1455
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:30,639
Speaker 1: you guys. I'm pumped to wind out next week. It's

1456
01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:33,280
Speaker 1: going to be a good one. I love you. I