Speaker 1: On Theme is a production of iHeartRadio and fair Weather
Speaker 1: Friends Media. You Are a Starless. Death is an inevitable
Speaker 1: part of the human experience, but the way we mark
Speaker 1: and memorialize people who have passed away can take many forms.
Speaker 1: One of the most enduring traditions is the obituary, that
Speaker 1: short form biography chronicling someone's life and death.
Speaker 2: And the best obituaries are more than just a dry
Speaker 2: recitation of facts and dates. They use the craft of
Speaker 2: storytelling to breathe life into the person behind the obituary.
Speaker 2: They allow us to celebrate people's triumphs, limit their struggles,
Speaker 2: and find meaning in the legacy they left behind.
Speaker 3: I'm Katie and I'm Eves.
Speaker 2: On today, episode Dearly Departed looks for the art of
Speaker 2: the obituary and share some of the narrative techniques that
Speaker 2: transform de sombers and offs into compelling and emotionally resident tales.
Speaker 2: You know, I recently had to write an obituary, and
Speaker 2: it's a task Like you're already grieving, so you're not
Speaker 2: in the greatest headspace to write, but you know this
Speaker 2: is the last story. You got to get it right,
Speaker 2: or at least you feel the weight of that you know,
Speaker 2: getting the facts right of course their birthdate and death
Speaker 2: aid and familiar relationships and everything in between, but also
Speaker 2: the pressure to write something like really, I don't know,
Speaker 2: pulling on the heartstrings of something that honors the loved
Speaker 2: one or you know, the person that died. I know
Speaker 2: you have experienced writing obituaries.
Speaker 1: It's an interesting experience. All of the emotions that come
Speaker 1: with writing an obituary, especially for a close loved one,
Speaker 1: They're all over the place because, for one, it's like,
Speaker 1: how do I fit a life into what three hundred words?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a short amount of space. How do
Speaker 1: I fit an entire life, one that I know so well,
Speaker 1: one that I could talk about for years and years
Speaker 1: and years unendingly. And also like I want to write
Speaker 1: this well because I'm a writer, so I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: the storytelling techniques. I'm thinking about that. But also it's
Speaker 1: like weird because it's like, who's your audience. It seems
Speaker 1: like your audience for an obituary is all the people
Speaker 1: who will be reading it, who may want to reflect
Speaker 1: on the person's life if they knew them well or
Speaker 1: if they didn't know them well, so they might be
Speaker 1: learning and things they might not, they can just remember
Speaker 1: it fondly. But if it's a loved one, you know,
Speaker 1: in my case, it was a loved one that I knew. Well,
Speaker 1: it's like, I'm writing this for myself, really, how do
Speaker 1: I best represent a person in a short space of time,
Speaker 1: in a short amount of words. And it's therapeutic in
Speaker 1: a way because you know how when you write, even
Speaker 1: if it's something that and not an obituary and you're
Speaker 1: trying to condense it into a poem or either something
Speaker 1: that is short, like a short piece, you have to
Speaker 1: be really precise. It's hyper real. It's the way I
Speaker 1: think about it when I'm writing short So it's honestly
Speaker 1: kind of therapeutic and kind of nice to be confined
Speaker 1: to certain rules to write the obituary when it's about
Speaker 1: a loved one, because it's like, what are the things
Speaker 1: that are visually and feelings wise, what are the things
Speaker 1: that I feel the most right now? What feels like
Speaker 1: it makes the most sense for me to include what
Speaker 1: do I want to bring to the forefront right now?
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's a bunch of different feelings for me
Speaker 1: in different ways.
Speaker 2: What were some of the best practices as far as
Speaker 2: writing that you found like worked when crafting the narrative
Speaker 2: of the obituary.
Speaker 1: Taking your time and writing from the heart, And that
Speaker 1: sounds so like kind of like.
Speaker 2: A I feel like you don't have time though, because
Speaker 2: if you're writing about a life and it's like the
Speaker 2: funeral coming.
Speaker 1: Well, well, let me explain that because it is specific
Speaker 1: to my experience. Like for me, I was like, I
Speaker 1: need to write this O bit, I need to write
Speaker 1: this open, I need to write this O bit. But
Speaker 1: I was also involved in the planning of the memorial service,
Speaker 1: and I'm also trying to grieve, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: need to write this over. I got to get to it,
Speaker 1: like I was writing the eulogy on the way to
Speaker 1: the memorial service. So I know that the obituary is
Speaker 1: a little different because you have to turn that in early.
Speaker 1: But I think that the same principles can be applied
Speaker 1: and just moving a little bit more slowly and taking
Speaker 1: your time to feel into it, just like you would
Speaker 1: do with any other writing where you're constrained by time
Speaker 1: and by space and then write from the heart. Comes
Speaker 1: from the same way. There are a lot of best
Speaker 1: standards and practices that I guess you would see if
Speaker 1: you're looking back on obituaries over the years, this is
Speaker 1: how you name the people. This is where you start
Speaker 1: from the beginning, you end at the end. You know,
Speaker 1: you don't have to do that either. Just write from
Speaker 1: the heart, because you know, if your audience is other people,
Speaker 1: then they going to be locked in with you if
Speaker 1: you're reading it to them, or if they're reading it,
Speaker 1: you know it's an emotional experience for them too, and
Speaker 1: you can write that as an emotional experience. But if
Speaker 1: it's for yourself, then what you need to follow the
Speaker 1: rules for anyway.
Speaker 2: You know, have you experienced any family drama around obituaries.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's like, I don't know if it's
Speaker 2: a particular black thing, but I only talk to black people,
Speaker 2: so in my head it's a black thid.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel like everybody gets messy when it comes
Speaker 1: to death a lot of the time. I don't think
Speaker 1: that's confined to race. But I haven't had fortunately too
Speaker 1: much drama around obituaries. Now. My family is big, and
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of children, a lot of cousins,
Speaker 1: nieces and nephews, aunties, uncles, all that in my family,
Speaker 1: and so for me, But there was a potential for
Speaker 1: drama because of what was going to be included family wise,
Speaker 1: because of the secrets and things people didn't know on
Speaker 1: all of that that was going to happen in the obituary.
Speaker 1: That fortunately didn't turn up. When I organized the recent
Speaker 1: memorial service and wrote the obituary, that didn't happen for me,
Speaker 1: people were just like, hey, you know, loved it. It
Speaker 1: was beautiful. Somebody read it for me and that all
Speaker 1: went fine. So I haven't seen that for anyone else.
Speaker 1: And I also have never experienced that. What about you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I would peep it as
Speaker 2: a kid but not really know the depths of it.
Speaker 2: But I wouldn't say like complete drama. But you get
Speaker 2: a little side comments like O, well, you know I
Speaker 2: did a lot for them too.
Speaker 3: It's like, girl, no you didn't, you didn't, And that's
Speaker 3: just what it is.
Speaker 2: But you know, everybody wants a little shout out, so
Speaker 2: I think that's like kind of funny. Or if there's
Speaker 2: like an outside kid, like, oh, how are you going
Speaker 2: to mention the outside kid? But you know from this
Speaker 2: union came these kids, and then there's this other kid,
Speaker 2: like who's that you know, so trying to do some
Speaker 2: wordsmithing so that the family secret that's not even a secret,
Speaker 2: but it's just kind of like a little you know,
Speaker 2: not as wholesome as you would like for the person
Speaker 2: like how to do that. But I think it's interesting
Speaker 2: because I feel like, you know, family secrets are something
Speaker 2: that you know, inches its way into obituaries, and when
Speaker 2: you're looking back at the obituary, you know, years down
Speaker 2: the road, decades down the road, the person reading it
Speaker 2: might not be privy to all the nuances that these
Speaker 2: little slights of hand are pointing to. And with black people,
Speaker 2: I think in particular, the obituary is really important for
Speaker 2: family research because there was a time when you know,
Speaker 2: we was just names on the inventory list, and you know,
Speaker 2: you might not have the family researcher who has gone
Speaker 2: back to Africa, but somebody grandma got the drawer of
Speaker 2: obituaries and you can kind of piece it together. But
Speaker 2: when there's these like half truths in there, then it
Speaker 2: gets a little messy. Have you used obituaries for any
Speaker 2: family research?
Speaker 1: I haven't. I've gone back and looked at old obituaries
Speaker 1: and learned things, but I actually haven't used any for
Speaker 1: family research. It's been more of just speaking to my
Speaker 1: family members lately. But I think that's a good idea
Speaker 1: and I should do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think like people put information in bibles, but I
Speaker 2: think the obituary is it.
Speaker 3: It'll give you the rundown, it'll tell you who to
Speaker 3: mama the daddy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and those are the hardest things to put together sometimes,
Speaker 1: like the actual family tree, at least for me. You know,
Speaker 1: my grandmother had eighteen kids on one side. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I got other grandparents, so yeah, that is very helpful.
Speaker 1: It's hard to keep up now. It just makes me
Speaker 1: think too that I mean, none of us know when
Speaker 1: we're going to die, but a part of me does
Speaker 1: wish that when I was writing that obituaryly I would
Speaker 1: have been had it done, so when it was time
Speaker 1: to go, then it's good to go. Like I don't
Speaker 1: have to think about it, and I know it's ready,
Speaker 1: although some things might be missing, so it would have
Speaker 1: to be a I guess put not intended living document
Speaker 1: because it's something that you have to update as people
Speaker 1: at more on to their lives. But I don't know,
Speaker 1: thinking about it, it feels like it would be something
Speaker 1: that would be feel right to me. And I know
Speaker 1: people do that for newspapers and magazines, like they pre
Speaker 1: write obituaries for people of note, but I think that
Speaker 1: in some cases it could be a worthwhile exercise for
Speaker 1: US normies as well.
Speaker 2: Interesting one thing I've noticed with obituaries, like if you
Speaker 2: look at a bunch of them over the decades, is
Speaker 2: that they've evolved to include more storytelling. Like back in
Speaker 2: the day, all facts births, church, education, marriage, children, occupation, death,
Speaker 2: and no antidotes, no favorite color, nothing. It might not
Speaker 2: even be a picture, and if there was one, it
Speaker 2: was just one.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Now people are putting some flair on it when
Speaker 1: talking about folks who have passed. When done well, obituaries
Speaker 1: have the power to make readers feel as though they
Speaker 1: intimately knew the person being memorialized, despite having never met them.
Speaker 1: Through finally render details and emotional storytelling, a connection is
Speaker 1: forged between the writer, the subject, and the reader.
Speaker 2: After the break, we'll look at obituaries that do just
Speaker 2: that from the Auburn Avenue Research Library Atlanta Funeral Programs Collection.
Speaker 1: Stay with us, so tell me more about this Atlanta
Speaker 1: Funeral Programs collection.
Speaker 2: Sure, so, Auburn Avenue Research Library partnered with the Atlanta
Speaker 2: chapter of the Afro American Historical and Genealogical Society. They
Speaker 2: got a name one him to spearhead a joint project
Speaker 2: with Georgia Public Library Service to digitize.
Speaker 3: Over eleven thousand.
Speaker 2: Pages of funeral programs. And they go from eighteen eighty
Speaker 2: six to twenty nineteen. I think they're updating it soon,
Speaker 2: like they've had more people give obituaries, but twenty nineteen
Speaker 2: is the last publicly available ones.
Speaker 1: Does the collection include mostly famous people or public figures.
Speaker 3: Nah, just regular degular folks.
Speaker 2: I mean, I did see Shoddy Lowe and Julian Bond's
Speaker 2: obituary in there, but you know, the majority is just
Speaker 2: regular folks from the South. The thing about obituaries is
Speaker 2: after the funeral, they're usually put up somewhere and not
Speaker 2: really examined unless for a very specific reason. So I
Speaker 2: thought it'd be nice to look through the funeral program's
Speaker 2: collections and pick a couple that stood out to us.
Speaker 1: You don't, yes, I am, so what obituary did you
Speaker 1: pick and why did it stand out to you? So?
Speaker 2: I picked Keana Shields Bentley's obituary and her unborn child's
Speaker 2: She was killed while she was pregnant, and that's just
Speaker 2: like a really sad thing to think about. She was
Speaker 2: pretty young when she died. She was in school and
Speaker 2: had just gotten married and just kind of like had
Speaker 2: her life in front of her.
Speaker 3: It seemed.
Speaker 2: But what stood out to me about Keana's obituary is
Speaker 2: that it's like written in the first person. I was
Speaker 2: very confused when I first encountered it.
Speaker 3: It says, hey, three wives, Hey everybody.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you all have heard a little about me before,
Speaker 2: but let me formally introduce myself. On September twelfth, nineteen
Speaker 2: ninety four, I was introduced to my beautiful mother Angela
Speaker 2: and Shields as her fourth Shining Star of six. So
Speaker 2: she's like speaking directly to you as you're reading this obituary,
Speaker 2: and just the tone of it is kind of upbeat,
Speaker 2: like happy, like you're talking directly to me. I can
Speaker 2: imagine being a member of her family and feeling very
Speaker 2: comforted by this obituary.
Speaker 3: I think the.
Speaker 2: Person who wrote it probably really knew her well to
Speaker 2: be able to like step into her shoes and you know,
Speaker 2: speak about you know, her life, her cheerleading, you know,
Speaker 2: meeting her husband, deciding the name of her child. I
Speaker 2: just thought it was like really sweet. And she died
Speaker 2: in Atlanta, you know, living here, you hear certain things
Speaker 2: on the news and it's kind of like a passing thing,
Speaker 2: like oh, this person died this way and it was horrible,
Speaker 2: but you kind of like don't hear about it anymore.
Speaker 2: And so I found a lot of those in the collection.
Speaker 2: I'm like, dang, it's really sad. But hers, it was
Speaker 2: definitely a sad situation, and you know, young mother and
Speaker 2: the baby dying, but it's like you could feel her,
Speaker 2: you know, faith in God through her obituary, her love
Speaker 2: for her family, just like her personality really really shined.
Speaker 3: And I like that about this one.
Speaker 1: When you started reading it, you said you were thrown
Speaker 1: off by being in first person. So when you started
Speaker 1: reading it and you were thrown off, were you like,
Speaker 1: m let me go into a different or were you like, oh,
Speaker 1: I really need to keep reading this. What was your feeling?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I was confused, so I was like, let me keep
Speaker 2: reading to make sure I'm understanding what's going on here. So,
Speaker 2: you know, she does that introduction, she talks about her childhood,
Speaker 2: where she went to school. She even like talks about
Speaker 2: her like perfect high pitched voice, like I just felt
Speaker 2: like I really got to know her, and it had
Speaker 2: to me as a stranger reading it, kind of less
Speaker 2: of a barrier. It wasn't as formal, It wasn't somber
Speaker 2: at all, which is the vibe you get from a
Speaker 2: lot of obituaries. Rightfully so because the person reading it
Speaker 2: is sad, and you know, a lot of times funerals
Speaker 2: are formal occasions. So it's just like really different for me.
Speaker 2: And you know, it's like a lot of the times
Speaker 2: when you think about death, you think about like an
Speaker 2: older person who lived their life, and you know it's
Speaker 2: still sad, but you're like, okay, this makes sense. But
Speaker 2: for her, you know, in her twenties, pregnant, about to graduate,
Speaker 2: it just just doesn't make sense. And so I think
Speaker 2: doing something a little you know different, you know, fit
Speaker 2: the spirit of Keana.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing that her death, since she got young, it
Speaker 1: was unexpected, yeah something. So do you think it's possible
Speaker 1: that she could have written this on her own, like
Speaker 1: just as an exercise at some point? You don't think so.
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: I think just even to like her personality from the obituary.
Speaker 2: I don't think she was even thinking like that. I
Speaker 2: think she was thinking about, you know, having her baby,
Speaker 2: and thinks she was thinking about graduating, starting her career.
Speaker 2: I don't think she wrote this. It would be really interesting,
Speaker 2: as like such a young person for her to have
Speaker 2: done that, but I don't think.
Speaker 1: So, what do you think? I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think somebody else wrote this for her, who know her
Speaker 1: pretty well. When I saw the three wives and the
Speaker 1: hey everybody at the beginning out it's black. This is
Speaker 1: a black obituary, Okay, but I've never seen anything like
Speaker 1: this before in real life and you know, not reading
Speaker 1: it online. So I'm trying to think how respond if
Speaker 1: it was somebody I knew that I was reading, and
Speaker 1: I think it would be pretty emotional for me, especially
Speaker 1: if they were passing out the obituaries and I was
Speaker 1: in the memorial service at the time and I'm reading
Speaker 1: this as I'm waiting. I imagine there would be those
Speaker 1: conflicting feelings like this is very sorrowful because this person
Speaker 1: is gone, and you know, there's a child that's not
Speaker 1: here now she's gone. I loved her, But at the
Speaker 1: same time, it's like it's going to brighten me up.
Speaker 1: You know, it's gonna put a smile on my face
Speaker 1: because I get to feel a little bit of her
Speaker 1: personality and her essence when I'm reading it. So I
Speaker 1: imagine that's pretty comforting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know I said it was Keana's obituary,
Speaker 2: it was also her unborn child's obituary too, Zariah Keela Bentley,
Speaker 2: so it was a joint obituary for both of them.
Speaker 2: And the person wrote that Keana was preceded in death
Speaker 2: by her beautiful daughter, Zarah Quela Bentley, and they have
Speaker 2: pictures of the sonogram and a picture of Keana with
Speaker 2: her pregnant belly.
Speaker 3: I know you can tell she was truly that girl.
Speaker 2: And I don't know, just really really fun, god fearing
Speaker 2: family woman.
Speaker 1: I'd say, yeah. And I think that one of the
Speaker 1: last sentences in the obituary is our work and purpose
Speaker 1: has been fulfilled. Don't mourn for us. And I think
Speaker 1: that's really indicative of how God was in their lives. Yes,
Speaker 1: but also in terms of it being an element of storytelling,
Speaker 1: it's like you're ending in a place that you've given
Speaker 1: us the set up for that payoff. So the payoff
Speaker 1: is telling us, don't mourn for us. And you've showed
Speaker 1: us that through the other paragraphs that come before, because
Speaker 1: they're celebratory, they're not sad. So you have showed us
Speaker 1: that we shouldn't mourn for them because they've lived well,
Speaker 1: because they were love. And now I've read this, I'm
Speaker 1: at the memorial service. I cherished this person, and I
Speaker 1: am sad that they are gone, but I see how
Speaker 1: full their lives were and the time that they did
Speaker 1: have here. And now you're telling me not to mourn
Speaker 1: for them. So I'm gonna hold on to that. And
Speaker 1: now I have this obituary on paper to hold on
Speaker 1: to that sentiment. Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: And one of the paragraphs, she says, the time of
Speaker 2: my transition, I was working toward my medical assistant degree.
Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, my graduation was set for
Speaker 2: June eleventh, twenty sixteen, which was just I believe, five
Speaker 2: days before she died. And later she says, I would
Speaker 2: have loved to celebrate each and every milestone with you guys,
Speaker 2: but baby girl and I couldn't ignore God's call. But
Speaker 2: don't worry that angels in heaven presented me with my
Speaker 2: cap and gown at the Pearly Gates.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm getting excited.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is not the point of the obituary because she wants.
Speaker 3: You to be happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, don't worry for.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: I think when you're seeing an obituary full of somebody's life,
Speaker 1: you want to think, oh, their life was so full,
Speaker 1: But ironically it often works in the opposite way because
Speaker 1: you see how full their life was and it makes
Speaker 1: you imagine, like, what could they have done yea had
Speaker 1: they been able to stay on this earth for a
Speaker 1: longer time. And when you see that about the cap
Speaker 1: and gown, you're like, she had plans. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: she had plans, she had ambitions, she had goals, and
Speaker 1: she had a child who would have had those same
Speaker 1: things had they lived as well. So yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's what happens with obituary, is too like your intent
Speaker 1: may be one way, or you may have wanted to
Speaker 1: express yourself one way, but as it goes in storytelling,
Speaker 1: the way we project isn't the way that people always
Speaker 1: receive something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the person who wrote it wanted to
Speaker 2: be comforting, which I do think they accomplished, but it's
Speaker 2: definitely like a sad situation, but I think they did
Speaker 2: a good like telling her life story, showing her personality,
Speaker 2: just like showing the woman that she was, and kind
Speaker 2: of all that you know will be missed.
Speaker 1: Yes, miss Keana. I hope that wherever you are, you
Speaker 1: are peaceful and all your lights able to shine wherever
Speaker 1: you are in prayers and peace to their family as well.
Speaker 1: So the obituary that I came across is for Joseph
Speaker 1: Seum Lewis. I hope that I'm pronouncing that right, that
Speaker 1: maybe Joseph Sayum Lewis. But he was born in nineteen
Speaker 1: fifty one and he died in two thousand and eight,
Speaker 1: and he had his memorial service at the Shrine of
Speaker 1: the Black Madonna in Atlanta. And I enjoyed his reading
Speaker 1: his obituary and learning more about his life because I
Speaker 1: felt like I just got a sense of who he was.
Speaker 1: He did have an impact on people in his community.
Speaker 1: He seemed to be a pretty well respected community member.
Speaker 1: I like that. In the beginning of the obituary, it
Speaker 1: says that he was legally named Joseph Derrek Lewis, but
Speaker 1: he later changed his name and rejected this slave name
Speaker 1: and mentality and there's a lot to a name, you know,
Speaker 1: especially to black people, and I think leading with that
Speaker 1: is pretty impactful, just because we see, even just within
Speaker 1: something as small as his name, of how much he
Speaker 1: changed over the course of his life, and we get
Speaker 1: to see a little bit of his perspective, We get
Speaker 1: to learn about his political ideology. You know, what matters
Speaker 1: to a person if the first thing they're talking about
Speaker 1: in the obituary is that they were listed as Negro
Speaker 1: and their birth certificate. So just get to the point
Speaker 1: we know what he was about, and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: In the obituary, it talks about how he was wrapped
Speaker 1: up in gangs a little bit in his earlier life,
Speaker 1: and he went through the juvenile justice system, and then
Speaker 1: we get this character introduced. I liked this part of
Speaker 1: it because it feels like when you know you have
Speaker 1: that person who's the one who incites your moment of
Speaker 1: epiphany or your moment of where you really shift something
Speaker 1: dramatically and importantly in your life. And that person was
Speaker 1: his mother. They say, after he went through the juvenile
Speaker 1: justice system, his mother came in and sat him down
Speaker 1: and drew a small dot on a piece of paper.
Speaker 1: So they're getting heavy into the imagery here. It's like,
Speaker 1: you know when you pause for a moment when you're
Speaker 1: in a narrative, but now we have a scene. So
Speaker 1: now when you do something like that in storytelling, you're
Speaker 1: stopping to create to tell somebody to be in this
Speaker 1: moment with you. Because they could have just said, you know,
Speaker 1: she told him this. Instead they said she set him
Speaker 1: down and drew a small dot on a paper, and
Speaker 1: she explained what he knew was just to die, and
Speaker 1: what he didn't know was all the remaining space on
Speaker 1: the page, which you know, I'm wu and I love
Speaker 1: things like this anyway, so I really appreciated that. But
Speaker 1: it shows just how much that moment meant to him.
Speaker 1: And I'm not sure who wrote this obituary if it
Speaker 1: probably wasn't his mother. I mean, I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: she was still alive or not at the time, but
Speaker 1: whoever it was had to have been close to him
Speaker 1: to know that that moment even happened. And I wonder
Speaker 1: if it's something that they knew because they were there,
Speaker 1: or if it's something that they knew because Joseph C.
Speaker 1: M Lewis told everybody. He's just like, oh, this happened
Speaker 1: when my mother told me this, because it was such
Speaker 1: an impactful moment in his life, right, Yeah, you think
Speaker 1: it was that one? Yeah, which is beautiful because this
Speaker 1: person is able to be in on a moment and
Speaker 1: understand a moment that was important to the person who
Speaker 1: was deceased. They really are able to step into that
Speaker 1: with them and now translate that into abituary that everybody
Speaker 1: else can receive. So I liked that part. And then
Speaker 1: that's when the reversal happens. That's when the switch happens.
Speaker 1: In the story of his life, they talk about how
Speaker 1: he enrolled in college and graduated with a degree in
Speaker 1: African history, and how he continued to rely on his
Speaker 1: mother's guidance throughout the rest of his life. So they
Speaker 1: narrowed in on this point in time of when we
Speaker 1: saw a specific example of guidance that he got from
Speaker 1: his mother, and then they leave us to imagine all
Speaker 1: the other ways that his mother was involved in his life.
Speaker 1: But we know that she was. We know that she
Speaker 1: was a big part of it. So I really love
Speaker 1: that part of it that really stood out to me.
Speaker 1: He seemed to have a full life. He became known
Speaker 1: apparently as the mayor of Atlanta's West End and was
Speaker 1: pretty heavily involved in the community and cared a lot
Speaker 1: about uplifting African people. Say so, Yeah, I think this
Speaker 1: is a good example of maybe not you know, maybe
Speaker 1: not first person. Like that's pretty different. That's pretty unique
Speaker 1: in terms of obituator in first person. But it if
Speaker 1: you know, you ain't got those kind of storytelling and
Speaker 1: writing chops to be able to have that imagination to
Speaker 1: write something like first person, then I think this is
Speaker 1: a different example on the opposite side of the spectrum
Speaker 1: where you can just insert tiny things into an obituary
Speaker 1: to you know, make them feel more alive.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I think the fact that he was a member
Speaker 2: of the Shrine of the Black Madonna, it's nice to
Speaker 2: see as far as like something being very Atlanta. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you know, I've gone to church services at the
Speaker 2: shrine and that's just like how they are, like all
Speaker 2: of them got different names. Yeah, a lot of them
Speaker 2: wear you know, they're African clothes, and but they are
Speaker 2: very like helpful people, like they're gonna, you know, see
Speaker 2: that you're visiting and say, oh, sister Mitchell, stand up, We're.
Speaker 3: All going to pray for you.
Speaker 2: And are really about uplifting African people, you know. So
Speaker 2: it's cool to see, like, you know, that was his
Speaker 2: path and also cool to see like the change in
Speaker 2: people because a lot of times we're told like this
Speaker 2: is who you are and.
Speaker 3: That's just how you have to be. But as his
Speaker 3: story showed, like.
Speaker 2: Oh he was doing a little bit gang banking, So
Speaker 2: what you can you know, build homes for people and
Speaker 2: be a you know, member in the choir and you know,
Speaker 2: be someone that a lot of people are really.
Speaker 3: Gonna like miss and cherish for a long time.
Speaker 1: Because they didn't have to mention his early time that
Speaker 1: he spend in gangs or in the justice system at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like my family wouldn't have mentioned that.
Speaker 2: They wouldn't have he was an angel from day one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, some revisionist history.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they wouldn't have said that truly, But I think
Speaker 2: probably because he wasn't ashamed of it. And I think
Speaker 2: that's how you reach people, to like, if you've always
Speaker 2: been an angel, ain't nobody reached you know, But you know,
Speaker 2: if you had your vices and you overcame them, it's
Speaker 2: easier for people to hear what you saying.
Speaker 3: So I do like that they included that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they didn't linger on it too long. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Another thing about obituaries I think is interesting her like
Speaker 2: the poems or the Bible verses or quotes that people include.
Speaker 2: I think just like the biography of the person, it
Speaker 2: shows their personality. A lot of what quotes that other
Speaker 2: people think really embody them. So his quotes, he has
Speaker 2: some quotes on him. Okay, you know he started off
Speaker 2: with an oldie, but goodie, the hunter will always be
Speaker 2: the hero until the lion has an historian, which is
Speaker 2: very shard of the black Madonna down. Yes, he also
Speaker 2: quotes Malcolm X the Black Man's creed, which I'm assuming
Speaker 2: he was not Muslim since he was at the Christian church.
Speaker 2: But you know, the black radicalism, it's jumping out, it's
Speaker 2: jumping out, and he's jumping out. I think the one
Speaker 2: that gets me is to tap into peace because that
Speaker 2: generation loves an initialism. Okay, where peace, each letter stands
Speaker 2: for something, break it down. He personal commitments. These are
Speaker 2: all more than one word, but we gonna rock with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He eliminate negative influences, a a wake up call
Speaker 1: to all see conquer fear and ignorance. And E each
Speaker 1: of us take a responsibility period. Okay, all good sentiments
Speaker 1: to live by. I think I think I would like
Speaker 1: a little bit more information about a wake up call
Speaker 1: to all, but you know, the other ones are pretty
Speaker 1: good guidance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's just like a little anecdote about him
Speaker 2: parking in a handicap spy. He was with his brother
Speaker 2: who was in a wheelchair, and the security card told
Speaker 2: him to move because he doesn't have a disabled parking decal,
Speaker 2: and he replied, a black man in America is handicap
Speaker 2: And he stayed right where he was and she went
Speaker 2: back in the store. And just like little things like that.
Speaker 2: It's like someone who you know, it's his like great
Speaker 2: great great grandchild.
Speaker 3: That little story might get lost otherwise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that story is very funny to me. I don't
Speaker 1: know the man. That story is pretty funny, but it's
Speaker 1: definitely one of those things where it's like the people
Speaker 1: who are deep into community, they're like thinking about this
Speaker 1: kind of thing all the time. It's like always on
Speaker 1: their mind.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: He's always worried about like black community, black togetherness, and
Speaker 1: black liberation. Like that's what's forefront to me, Like none
Speaker 1: of the things. Nothing else matters, even when you are
Speaker 1: parking near Greenbrier Mall. You know, I think that would
Speaker 1: affect another potentially another black person who might actually need
Speaker 1: the handicap spot.
Speaker 3: He was in a wheelchair. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he
Speaker 3: just didn't have the white man's paperwork.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, fair, fair, fair, So yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1: And also another quote that he has in his obituary
Speaker 1: is salvation is a group experience. I wonder if that's
Speaker 1: something that he said a lot, based on what his
Speaker 1: personality seems like it was that he would have said that.
Speaker 1: But it's interesting to think of that in the light
Speaker 1: of someone's death, because you're talking about salvation and normally,
Speaker 1: if we were thinking about that, and in terms of
Speaker 1: the living, we're thinking about like how we attain liberation
Speaker 1: in this realm, and that there is an implication of
Speaker 1: solidarity and you know, community work. But in this case,
Speaker 1: it's like, my people come with me when I go,
Speaker 1: and my presence is still here. So I think that's
Speaker 1: a nice sentiment to show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can tell that he's really popular by his obituary,
Speaker 2: like everyone wants a little little piece of it, give
Speaker 2: their memories of him, pictures all good time. And I'm
Speaker 2: sure this tryan sentiment on home. Yes, yes, yeah, I
Speaker 2: think both of these obituaries were really nice examples of
Speaker 2: storytelling in you know, different ways, but storytelling for the dead.
Speaker 2: And it's one of those things that I think you
Speaker 2: don't really think about until you have to do it.
Speaker 2: So I think it's nice to think about it, to
Speaker 2: look at some folks that you don't know, but now
Speaker 2: you feel like, you know, I'm a little bit better
Speaker 2: now that you looked at their obituaries.
Speaker 3: And girl, I used to do this a lot, read obituaries. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was my coping mechanism after my grandpa died. Oh,
Speaker 2: because I like the way they did his obituary and
Speaker 2: I was like, this what cho should have did, And
Speaker 2: I would go look at obituaries. I thought some really
Speaker 2: good ones. Some people really put their foot in them.
Speaker 1: H I think the thing that I like about both
Speaker 1: of these too is that you can close to us
Speaker 1: and have somebody read these to you, and you gon know,
Speaker 1: they for black people in different ways. One because of
Speaker 1: the way it was written and in this one because
Speaker 1: of all the things that he did in his lifetime
Speaker 1: were centered.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I like that about both of these obituaries.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those are that's always nice. And now it's time
Speaker 2: for word credits, the segment where we give credit to
Speaker 2: a person, place, or thing we've encountered during the week eves.
Speaker 3: Who are what would you like to give credit to?
Speaker 1: I like to shout out to estheticians, people who are
Speaker 1: willing to get up close and personal with you and
Speaker 1: do the kinds of you know, body work. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, work with your body work, close to people,
Speaker 1: be in these intimate situations to help you care for yourselves,
Speaker 1: and then return there being very caring to you in
Speaker 1: whatever way it is, even if it's something that's like cosmetic,
Speaker 1: like painting your nails. You know, I'm used to working
Speaker 1: with people as a yoga teacher, but I just appreciate
Speaker 1: all the estheticians that make my life like a little
Speaker 1: bit better in the ways that they do, and I
Speaker 1: like to give them credit today. Nice.
Speaker 2: I'd like to give credit to the prayer warriors. Okay,
Speaker 2: I want to give credit to those who have Jesus
Speaker 2: on the main line, those who will make you late
Speaker 2: for a reservation because they're praying loud, but they feat
Speaker 2: stomping and hands clapping, you know. I think we all
Speaker 2: need some prayer sometimes, and the Prayer Warriors they're never
Speaker 2: late for prayer, So I appreciate it, and we'll see
Speaker 2: y'all next week.
Speaker 1: By y'all. Hi. On Theme is a production of iHeartRadio
Speaker 1: and Fairweather Friends Media. This episode was written by Eves
Speaker 1: Jeffco and Katie Mitchell. It was edited and produced by
Speaker 1: Tari Harrison. Follow us on Instagram at on Theme Show.
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