Speaker 1: How old are you getting thrown from a horse every day? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How's your body handling that? Because no, you're not. How
Speaker 1: old are you now? Are you forty? Close to forty?
Speaker 1: Close to forty or you're not forty? Yeah? All right,
Speaker 1: you can't keep flying off horses.
Speaker 2: No coshha Cosh Shows Show Show.
Speaker 1: Good morning. I'm Daniel Tosh, the host of Tosh Show. Eddie.
Speaker 1: I hear you have got a video that you are
Speaker 1: dying to show me so excited about this one. All right,
Speaker 1: let's watch.
Speaker 2: What did you do?
Speaker 1: What happens? Oh? Now you just the fuck out of
Speaker 1: your trou Did you do well?
Speaker 2: I know you felt Jack.
Speaker 1: Even the dog can barely walk. Thank god that truck
Speaker 1: was there. Jeff would still be stumbling all the way
Speaker 1: to the ocean. The most interesting thing about this video
Speaker 1: is that they're probably thirty eight years old. Yeah. People
Speaker 1: always say, oh, you look so young. No, no, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't look that young. I look forty nine. You
Speaker 1: look old as shit. Maybe eat better, sleep more, do
Speaker 1: some exercise. Gotta you gotta take care of yourself. Jeff
Speaker 1: doesn't deserve to have that pickup truck. You know, you
Speaker 1: need to be a man drive a pickup truck like that.
Speaker 1: I don't pretend to be a man. That's the end
Speaker 1: of that statement. When I'm in southern California, I'm barely
Speaker 1: a man. When I head up north, when I get
Speaker 1: to the mountains, oh got my hatchet, my splitting mall.
Speaker 1: That's when I become a man. Although I've never had
Speaker 1: a chop wood yet. I you know, I had a cord.
Speaker 1: It's been like five years. I haven't gone gone through
Speaker 1: it yet. It's like, how much how much wood are
Speaker 1: you supposed to burn? Me? And a man's tough. People
Speaker 1: depend on you when you're a man. That's why I
Speaker 1: always try to announce I'm barely a man. Let's get
Speaker 1: the expectations back. Don't ask me to do things. I'll
Speaker 1: call a man. I'll pay for a man to do
Speaker 1: something me. No, I'm not the guy. You know. Sometimes
Speaker 1: when I'm up in the cabin, the power will go
Speaker 1: out and my generator won't turn on, and I go
Speaker 1: out there with my little portable jumper and I hook
Speaker 1: it up and I jump it and I get the
Speaker 1: generator going and there's power in the house. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: look at that. And then when the when the power
Speaker 1: comes back, the generator turns off. Everything gets tripped in
Speaker 1: the house. That's a pain. Then I gotta go to
Speaker 1: the garage and I gotta undo this panel, and I
Speaker 1: gotta flip this big this big switch. And every time
Speaker 1: I flip it, it shocks this shit out of me. Oh,
Speaker 1: but things I can't do. I mean that that list
Speaker 1: is too long to go over. Protect my family, Nah,
Speaker 1: can't do that. I can outrun them, you know, so
Speaker 1: I can tell the story of what happened, Honor them
Speaker 1: with a story, a tale to tell you. I could
Speaker 1: learn a thing or two from today's guests. Enjoy. Pasha,
Speaker 1: my guest today, has quite a life story. I'm going
Speaker 1: to attempt to relate while he talks about some real
Speaker 1: man shit like hunting for food and breaking wild horses.
Speaker 1: At least we both love animals.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: He's one of the best looking fells west of the Mississippi.
Speaker 1: Please welcome Chris, Thank you, thank you for having me
Speaker 1: touch Okay, this interviews can be all over the place.
Speaker 1: Your life story is a fascinating Let's start that you
Speaker 1: grew up on a reservation in Colorado.
Speaker 2: Outside of Durrango, the Ute Reservation. Okay, my mom and
Speaker 2: my dad kind of had a lot of turmoil, and
Speaker 2: she went to the reservation and stayed there for help,
Speaker 2: and so I ended up being born there.
Speaker 1: We ended up growing up there.
Speaker 2: We stayed there for probably maybe six years, and then
Speaker 2: we moved to our own spot in Colorado off of
Speaker 2: like Ute Trail, So we're in the sticks aspen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's a lot of aspen trees there, but oh that
Speaker 2: this wasn't aspen. I got you.
Speaker 1: No on veil. You grew up in vil.
Speaker 2: Outside of there too, No, I got you. You grew
Speaker 2: up without electricity, No electricity?
Speaker 1: How long?
Speaker 2: No running water till we were about fourteen? We hunted
Speaker 2: for our food. We got our water off the side
Speaker 2: of a mountain, so it kind of to down into
Speaker 2: this drainage pipe and we would collect it at the pipe.
Speaker 1: How did you take hot showers? No? Hot showers? You
Speaker 1: never had a hot shower. We had hot baths. How
Speaker 1: did you Okay, we.
Speaker 2: Put the water over it like a fire and warmed
Speaker 2: it up and then put it in you know those.
Speaker 1: They were cooking you. Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you know those kettles? It's like a almost like
Speaker 2: a stew kettle. You just basically boil some hot water
Speaker 2: in there and throw it in the tub. I mean
Speaker 2: we washed our clothes with a washboard. We had an outhouse,
Speaker 2: had a fruit cellar. Basically grew up off the land,
Speaker 2: like eating cactail, roots and dandelions and just weird stuff, you.
Speaker 1: Know, everything that you can eat. When quite a bit.
Speaker 2: My mom was really like savvy when it came to
Speaker 2: picking fruit and just different stuff like roots and berries.
Speaker 1: It was pretty interesting. What about school?
Speaker 2: Homeschooled all the way up until about sixth grade.
Speaker 1: Legally homeschooled. My sister was the teacher. Okay, so not
Speaker 1: legally homeschooled. No, anybody pop in and he visits it
Speaker 1: from like.
Speaker 2: No interestingly enough. I mean we were so far out.
Speaker 2: I don't even think they knew we were out there.
Speaker 2: So I don't even know he existed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they didn't even know. How many siblings? Did you have?
Speaker 1: Eight of us? Eighty seven? Yeah, five sisters and two brothers.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of people. I mean it's like a
Speaker 1: school it was. Did you guys get Comedy Central? No,
Speaker 1: it's a shame. Are are you part of Native American? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So my mother, my mother is African American, Native American.
Speaker 2: Her mother's Cherokee and her father's African American. My father
Speaker 2: is German and Native American. So his father's German and
Speaker 2: his mother's Hopey. So maybe like fifty close to fifty percent.
Speaker 1: Are Are you getting a government check or no? No?
Speaker 1: By choice?
Speaker 2: I never applied, never got oney. It takes too much paperwork.
Speaker 2: I don't care that you're owed. Yeah, no, what's the
Speaker 2: amount that they do? You even know the amount that
Speaker 2: they give?
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I'm gonna ask you to talk
Speaker 1: about your stepfather. Now. I'm gonna turn the microphone off
Speaker 1: and just listen to the next hour because I think
Speaker 1: it's fascinating. Yeah. What an interesting guy. Right.
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen Davy Crockett, like the movie? I
Speaker 2: just know of Davy Crockett, like the movie, like the No.
Speaker 2: I never watched The King of the Final Frontier.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Dave was like Davy Crockett. I mean he
Speaker 2: was super ingenuitive is the best word I could give it.
Speaker 2: He he never told us what he did, but where
Speaker 2: we lived, he had us like sifting for gold, you
Speaker 2: know how when you get into the river and you
Speaker 2: can kind of sift. We always found like these little
Speaker 2: tiny specks of gold, and we were kids, so we
Speaker 2: had no idea what fools gold was. But he'd like
Speaker 2: come up with these big fools gold nuggets and be like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going to town to turn in the gold. But
Speaker 2: he was actually a meth cooker, oh and.
Speaker 1: So much different than a prospector.
Speaker 2: So he would disappear for like weeks and then come
Speaker 2: back and bring groceries and we would get cool stuff
Speaker 2: from town because most of the time we were eating rabbit.
Speaker 2: Was he making the meth on your Honestly, I really
Speaker 2: don't know, but he didn't have I'm pretty sure he
Speaker 2: was because he didn't have any teeth. He always had
Speaker 2: ether and mercury, just weird stuff. I mean, we played
Speaker 2: with that kind of stuff as a kid. I remember
Speaker 2: the mercury thought was cool because you could like spread
Speaker 2: it out and it would come together. And then Terminator
Speaker 2: came out and we saw that they were using mercury
Speaker 2: to make that terminator guy.
Speaker 1: You know, as kids do when you're playing with mercury.
Speaker 2: He had a lot of ether too. Our dogs would
Speaker 2: always get like into it with porcupines.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 2: He would just have a bodily ether on hand. Pour
Speaker 2: some in a washcloth and stick it over the dog's
Speaker 2: face and knock them out. And then take his little
Speaker 2: needle nosed pliers and just pull quills out.
Speaker 1: And did he know the amount that you were supposed to?
Speaker 2: He must have been like some kind of chemist. Did
Speaker 2: you lose any dogs?
Speaker 1: Okay? I even saw this man pick up a horse
Speaker 1: one time. He like that seems like childish revisionist history.
Speaker 2: Well, he put the horses like front of a body
Speaker 2: on his chevy, and then he went to the back
Speaker 2: and lifted up the back and threw his back out
Speaker 2: because he was hurt for a while, and then pushed
Speaker 2: the back end of the horse onto the because they
Speaker 2: had died. I'm thinking old age, but he like he
Speaker 2: picked the horse up and put I watched him do it.
Speaker 2: I was just like this guy is. I thought it
Speaker 2: was the coolest do it on the planet. I mean,
Speaker 2: Davy Crockett. He taught me how to fish, taught me
Speaker 2: how to hunt, taught me how to track. He was very,
Speaker 2: uh outdoor savvy.
Speaker 1: I'll say he knew how to get around.
Speaker 2: Do you hunt for sport or no? I don't hunt
Speaker 2: for sport. We did do it for food, though, Do
Speaker 2: you eat a lot. Do you like food?
Speaker 1: I do. I'll eat anything.
Speaker 2: I think any food allergies As a kid that grew
Speaker 2: up eating ants, Is there anything you're like, Oh, I
Speaker 2: don't enjoy eating this. Grasshoppers, ants, crickets at no food allergies.
Speaker 2: Craw dads I used to think craw dads and grasshoppers
Speaker 2: were the best thing.
Speaker 1: What's the fanciest food that you can't and that you
Speaker 1: can't get your head around? Why people eat it? S cargo? Yeah,
Speaker 1: me too. That doesn't seem like it serves a purpose.
Speaker 2: I never ate snails when I was growing up. I
Speaker 2: just didn't see a purpose. We put salt on him
Speaker 2: and let him just kind of like shrivel up and die.
Speaker 2: I had a friend, this guy was he would pick
Speaker 2: birds up and like bite their heads off. You were
Speaker 2: friends with Ozzy Osbourne. I won't say his name, but yeah,
Speaker 2: he was strange. Sure, I mean we were eating crowdads
Speaker 2: and ants.
Speaker 1: Right, but he wasn't. He wasn't biting heads off, bit
Speaker 1: that was off of them.
Speaker 2: He wasn't even eating catching birds just out of curiosity,
Speaker 2: just climbing up the tree and grabbing a bird out
Speaker 2: of the nest.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's a baby bird. No, this story just gets horrible.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you a story about cigarette Remember back when
Speaker 2: they used to sell the cartons in the store.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as kids, we were bad. We used to steal
Speaker 1: the whole cartons.
Speaker 2: And one of my buddies got caught smoking by his
Speaker 2: mom and she was like, all right, you're gonna smoke
Speaker 2: this whole carton then, and they made us smoke the
Speaker 2: whole carton and I quit smoking cigarettes after that.
Speaker 1: He still smokes to this day. But yeah, I had enough.
Speaker 1: They've they've I think I think they've proven that that's
Speaker 1: not the right way to parent. You know, he's got
Speaker 1: a great joke about that, as Norm MacDonald. Oh, he
Speaker 1: talked about getting caught and then his dad injected heroin
Speaker 1: into the eye of his cock, and so it's a
Speaker 1: good joke. He should look it up, all right. How
Speaker 1: that how that father in law story end? You know?
Speaker 2: Actually he he got killed by bounty hunters.
Speaker 1: Okay, it was.
Speaker 2: Pretty it was pretty weird. Like that's about what I thought.
Speaker 2: Arkansas Dave, he was from Arkansas, you know, the bounty
Speaker 2: hunter that killed your stepdad. No, no, no, my stepdad's name
Speaker 2: was Dave.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: Sorry, and he was from Arkansas, so I wonder, like,
Speaker 2: was that Arkansas Dave they were talking? No, I don't know,
Speaker 2: though apparently he pulled a knife out at a gunfight
Speaker 2: and got shot.
Speaker 1: Oh well, that's horrible. I mean, you're definitely the arguably
Speaker 1: the realist man I've ever had on the show. How
Speaker 1: long do you think you would survive if there was
Speaker 1: a zombie apocalypse? I think I could make it.
Speaker 2: I mean as long as I was pretty far out
Speaker 2: and they weren't even interested in coming out there, kind
Speaker 2: of like protect the.
Speaker 1: Services, all right, Now you are a cowboy, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would say, so. Now the term cowboy with with you know,
Speaker 1: indigenous people, Native American, those don't necessarily go hand in hand.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: That's the second time I've had that question. Okay, And
Speaker 2: when was the first time you kill that person?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, we were in Santa Fe. We were shooting this
Speaker 2: thing for Filson, and there was myself and a couple
Speaker 2: of the cowboys there and they were like, well, do
Speaker 2: natives call themselves cowboys? And I was like, you know,
Speaker 2: everybody that works horses or cattle calls himself a cowboy.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I think that the word came from this is just
Speaker 2: what I've heard. So back in the day cowboys black
Speaker 2: and white. The white cowboys were called cow hands, the
Speaker 2: black cow hands were called cowboys, and the natives kind
Speaker 2: of just got thrown in there whatever, you know. So,
Speaker 2: if you were working on a ranch and you were
Speaker 2: working horses or cattle, you were.
Speaker 1: Just a cowboy. How'd you get your land out in
Speaker 1: a Joshua tree?
Speaker 2: I basically wrote the contract for a least to own
Speaker 2: for the first two years with the first ride of refusal.
Speaker 2: And I wrote that contract during the pandemic. I had
Speaker 2: pandemic prices.
Speaker 1: Telling people exactly what you did. You were buying a
Speaker 1: large amount of acreage to open a horse sanctuary, yes,
Speaker 1: for wild horses, for mustangs.
Speaker 2: I got the guy to sign the contract and then
Speaker 2: I ran with it. So I had the first ride
Speaker 2: of refusal after two years, and I was renting the
Speaker 2: land first for eight hundred dollars a month.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, that's a good deal.
Speaker 2: So during the pandemic, people were trying to get out
Speaker 2: of the city and they wanted to go and be outside. Right,
Speaker 2: And if you remember, we couldn't celebrate Christmas, we couldn't
Speaker 2: celebrate Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that people.
Speaker 2: Couldn't celebrate their birthdays, so they were all coming to
Speaker 2: the ranch and renting campsites and celebrating there. So we
Speaker 2: had like thirty people every weekend. There were like a
Speaker 2: super spreader.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: Maybe all right, but it was really nice. And so
Speaker 2: we first started renting the dirt and I was building fences.
Speaker 2: So then I built the fences, and then September of
Speaker 2: twenty one, I got my first two horses. You know,
Speaker 2: they say what you think about you attract, right, So
Speaker 2: I the first two horses I got were very special horses.
Speaker 2: They're called Nez Pierce, Blanket Applelousas. So I took these
Speaker 2: two reservation ponies, and the guy who sold me the
Speaker 2: reservation ponies gave me two horses. So September of twenty one,
Speaker 2: I had four horses. And then my estranged uncle, I
Speaker 2: hadn't talked to him in forever, and he called me.
Speaker 2: He's in Palm Springs and he's like, hey, I heard
Speaker 2: you're out in Joshua Tree. Are you killing mustangs? And
Speaker 2: I was like, what, I'm saving mustangs. He was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: because I've heard a lot about mustangs and like people
Speaker 2: are shooting them, and I just wasn't sure what you
Speaker 2: were doing with them, and I was like, why don't
Speaker 2: you come up and see what I'm doing? So he
Speaker 2: and his wife came up and they saw and they
Speaker 2: were like mind blown. I'll say this also a lot
Speaker 2: of people come and lose their shit, like they get
Speaker 2: there and they cry, or they just like go into
Speaker 2: this like meditative, like start having I don't know, downloads
Speaker 2: if you will, like just feeling like the the universe
Speaker 2: is talking to him. So I think that happened to
Speaker 2: my uncle. And he was like, how can I help?
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, why don't you save this
Speaker 2: mustang from Colorado? And he was like okay, So he
Speaker 2: bought the Mustang out of the kill pen and shipped
Speaker 2: it to us. So I went from four horses to
Speaker 2: five horses. And then another lady called and was like, hey,
Speaker 2: I got a Mustang I can't train. Can I give
Speaker 2: it to you? And I was like sure, six mustangs? Then,
Speaker 2: now do you break that mustang? Yeah, we don't even
Speaker 2: call it breaking.
Speaker 1: Okay, I didn't know that's the many word. I knew.
Speaker 1: We call it starting, uh huh.
Speaker 2: So we start them, build a solid foundation and then
Speaker 2: let them go from there.
Speaker 1: Well, why don't you just let them keep running wild?
Speaker 1: Or why do you have to.
Speaker 2: So in America we have a high respect for horses
Speaker 2: unless you're at Santa Anita. Even there they really respect
Speaker 2: them and they love them. But it's just that the
Speaker 2: thoroughbred is so selectively bred and inbread that its hooves
Speaker 2: are really small and its bodies really big. So that
Speaker 2: big body on those really small hooves is hard on
Speaker 2: the legs and they break a lot of legs. And
Speaker 2: that Santa Anita track isn't really giving, so it hurts
Speaker 2: those thoroughbreds. But on top of that, Thoroughbreds are raced
Speaker 2: at two years old, and they're racing career is over
Speaker 2: by five or six, and that's a long career. But
Speaker 2: a horse can live twenty five years past that. The
Speaker 2: life expectancy for a Thorowbread is actually nineteen, so they
Speaker 2: don't live much longer because they really run them hard
Speaker 2: and into the ground.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: But while they're running at Santa Anita, they're very loved.
Speaker 2: Everybody takes care of them, they appreciate them, they baby them.
Speaker 2: But then when they're done running, they go to a
Speaker 2: thoroughbred farm where they're thrown out with thirty or forty
Speaker 2: other thoroughbreds that are retired, and they're fighting for their
Speaker 2: food and they just don't have such a great life anymore.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like a supermodel who when she's sixteen
Speaker 2: to nineteen, everybody loves her right, and then when she's
Speaker 2: when she's twenty four.
Speaker 1: You're just like, oh, oh, look this old hag. See
Speaker 1: if she can fight for some food. So you open
Speaker 1: this sanctuary and just right away started just rescuing horses
Speaker 1: or having people bring them to you or what was
Speaker 1: how was this working?
Speaker 2: So I opened the sanctuary in October of twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: What's the name of it, Cascade Trails Mustang Sanctuary.
Speaker 1: Do people ride your horses? Yes, all of them.
Speaker 2: We have five that are not rideable right now because
Speaker 2: they're under the age of three.
Speaker 1: I can ride it. I've ridden one horse a lot. Yes,
Speaker 1: my whole life. I love horses. I love all animals.
Speaker 1: I love horses, but I don't need to be on them,
Speaker 1: like to look at them.
Speaker 2: There's an energy that exudes from horses that's so calming.
Speaker 2: Like I said, when people come there, they lose their
Speaker 2: shit and it's just I think it's just the energy
Speaker 2: that's there.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to adopt a couple Clydesdale's just to
Speaker 1: look at those things.
Speaker 2: Those are called drafts, drafts. I want one of those
Speaker 2: drafts on your lot. I have two drafts.
Speaker 1: You do. They're called I'm sorry, not pertrons. We have
Speaker 1: two Belgians. How many hands high? Is that good question?
Speaker 1: What do you know about hands? I don't know.
Speaker 2: So hands are measured like this, Yeah, it's four inches
Speaker 2: and you go one the mits.
Speaker 1: You gotta do three fingers with yours.
Speaker 2: So we have two Belgians. One is nineteen hands and
Speaker 2: one is seventeen to one. The other the biggest horse
Speaker 2: that we had prior to that was the thoroughbred. She's
Speaker 2: sixteen hands. Okay, so yeah, two Belgian drafts. They look
Speaker 2: a lot like Clydesdale's.
Speaker 1: I just like those commercials when the bud like or
Speaker 1: beer commercial. Yeah at Christmas time to make you cry.
Speaker 1: Yeah awesome, Oh they are awesome. How many sayings in
Speaker 1: the language that we have are horse related? Let's talk
Speaker 1: about that for a second. Okay, do you say champing
Speaker 1: at the bit or chomping at the bit? Chomping at
Speaker 1: the bit. It's champing. Wait really, yeah, the term is champing,
Speaker 1: but everyone says chomping at the bit. That's right, but
Speaker 1: the actual term is champion at the bit. That's interesting.
Speaker 1: I mean, it kind of is, except for the people
Speaker 1: that fight me on it like it's zones because you
Speaker 1: think of just chomping at a bit. But it still
Speaker 1: comes from the same thing I believe, Well, I doesn't.
Speaker 1: Thoroughbreds kind of they do that champ at the bit.
Speaker 1: So thoroughbreds are trained to run into the bit. Most horses,
Speaker 1: when you pull back, they think stop. But a thoroughbred,
Speaker 1: when you pull back, they run harder because the jockeys
Speaker 1: standing up on them and using the reins as leverage,
Speaker 1: and he's pulling and he wants the thoroughbred to run
Speaker 1: through that. What do you weigh about two forty?
Speaker 3: Nah?
Speaker 1: Do you a dream about being a jockey?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Never, when I was a kid, but no, never. They're tiny,
Speaker 1: little fellows. They are little fellows. Holy cat, that's not normal. No, well,
Speaker 1: why don't they just wait and tell me why they
Speaker 1: don't just use girls. That's a good question.
Speaker 2: I mean, nowadays with sports incorporating women into everything.
Speaker 1: Seems like easy to get one hundred and five pound girl.
Speaker 1: That's a that's strong enough to do it. What's your
Speaker 1: love life like? Are you married? No, I'm not married.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been married? Yes? Yeah? How long it lasted?
Speaker 1: Two years? Two years? Divorce took longer? Uh huh it
Speaker 1: was Did she get half of a Mustang? No?
Speaker 2: I didn't have anything at that point, so she was
Speaker 2: just happy to get rid of me. I think, huh, okay, kids, Yeah,
Speaker 2: we do. We have two kids. Are you done having children?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: If I met the right woman and she was interested
Speaker 2: in that, then I would be open to it.
Speaker 1: Are you in a relationship right now? I have a girlfriend?
Speaker 1: Is she the right person? We're working on things. I
Speaker 1: got the perfect person for you. She's just all she's
Speaker 1: into his horses, her Oh oh, she's been thirty seven
Speaker 1: and she wants to have kids though, that's about the
Speaker 1: age you have to have kids with her. You know
Speaker 1: you want? Do you want to hear a voice and
Speaker 1: when you call her see if she's interested. No, I
Speaker 1: think he might like her. Do you let me know.
Speaker 1: We'll see. I'll check in on you a few months
Speaker 1: from now, and we'll see if you need to Uh
Speaker 1: another somebody to date that I got a perfect person.
Speaker 1: You call your motorcyclist steel horse. I do you ever
Speaker 1: dabbling pony play? I don't even know if you know
Speaker 1: a pony plays. That are the weird people on the
Speaker 1: internet that like pretend to be horses. No, so the
Speaker 1: ones that have the stick horse, yeah they do. Is
Speaker 1: that pony player? No pony player, They actually pony play
Speaker 1: actually pretends to be a horse, right, hobby horsing. Hobby
Speaker 1: horsing is when you just run around on a stick
Speaker 1: and pretend jump and all that kind of weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's pretty weird. It's also emotional, though. Yeah, sometimes you'll
Speaker 1: see them and just cry. Have you always been into horses?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think so.
Speaker 2: I mean I grew up watching he Man and his
Speaker 2: companion was battle Cat. I couldn't really ride that wasn't
Speaker 2: a horse a lion, So yeah, the horse was my
Speaker 2: battle cat.
Speaker 1: I mean sure, if you had a large cat, that'd
Speaker 1: be awesome. I once worked add a sanctuary out in
Speaker 1: the desert out there with some guys that had illegally,
Speaker 1: you know, tooken a bunch of tiny tigers so people
Speaker 1: could take photos with them, and then they grew into monsters,
Speaker 1: and they're like, what are we going to do with
Speaker 1: them now? And so we had to, you know, send
Speaker 1: them to different rescue places all over the country. So
Speaker 1: I'm out there working probably fifty to one hundred big
Speaker 1: cats and in cages that wouldn't hold a house cat
Speaker 1: in them. And I'm just out there volunteer and they're
Speaker 1: like just clean cleaning all the shit out of there.
Speaker 1: They're cannibalizing, eating each other, you know, because there's not
Speaker 1: enough food. They're the reward for working there was at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you got to you got
Speaker 1: to hose them off, and they were just in heaven
Speaker 1: to have water. And I'm just like right just standing
Speaker 1: next to a huge tiger with a hose and he's
Speaker 1: just eating the water like crazy.
Speaker 2: I was like, ah, this is great. You remind me
Speaker 2: of I just dug this pond for him. So I
Speaker 2: have a pond in front of the water area, and
Speaker 2: it's like it almost looks like you're catching a glimpse
Speaker 2: of them feeling like, oh, this is this is what
Speaker 2: freedom was. We could have splash in the pond and it's.
Speaker 1: Tough, yeah, but their space, they are still getting a
Speaker 1: bit of the good life. You get a little bit
Speaker 1: of both worlds too, some pampering that would have never
Speaker 1: been there. True, very true. What is average day for you?
Speaker 1: Like on your ranch?
Speaker 2: It starts at five. I clean the pasture, I feed
Speaker 2: the horses, I fill up water, I give them the buckets.
Speaker 2: By the time i'm doing doing that, it's about eight
Speaker 2: thirty nine o'clock. Then I'll feed myself. I actually have
Speaker 2: a raven now, so I feed the raven. When I
Speaker 2: feed myself, I'll bring her and put her on the
Speaker 2: goat pen.
Speaker 1: What does it cost to feed a horse every day?
Speaker 1: I broke it down.
Speaker 2: I think the buckets end up being like three or
Speaker 2: four dollars a bucket, But hey fluctuates, so a bail
Speaker 2: of hay can be anywhere between twenty dollars and thirty dollars.
Speaker 2: And if you're smart, you'll cut the middleman out and
Speaker 2: you'll just go direct and buy by the ton. But
Speaker 2: you can get You can get one hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: bills a hay for about two grand, and you can
Speaker 2: get five hundred bills a hay for about four grand.
Speaker 2: So I usually try to get the five hundred bills,
Speaker 2: and that lasts me a lot longer horses.
Speaker 1: Are they expensive to take care?
Speaker 2: They are if you don't know what you're doing. Because
Speaker 2: somebody that doesn't know how to make the feed themselves,
Speaker 2: they're gonna buy all that different feed and they're gonna
Speaker 2: scoop it out individually and end up spending five hundred
Speaker 2: dollars every two weeks just for feed, whereas I can
Speaker 2: spend five hundred dollars in two weeks and make that
Speaker 2: last four weeks. So I'm cutting my costs in half.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just a full day. This is just
Speaker 1: breakfast time. Where's that nine? Yeah? What time do you
Speaker 1: go to bed? I'm usually done right around like nine
Speaker 1: nine o'clock. Jeez, so much work? How often are you
Speaker 1: getting thrown from a horse every day? Really? Yeah? How's
Speaker 1: your body handling that? Because no, you're not How old
Speaker 1: are you now? Are you forty? Close to forty? Close
Speaker 1: to forty or you're not forty? Yeah? All right. You
Speaker 1: can't keep flying off horses.
Speaker 2: No, but people that train horses they learn how to
Speaker 2: not fly off.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: You can control a jump better than you can control
Speaker 2: a fall. Okay, so I'm jumping if I think it's
Speaker 2: getting bad, I'm jumping you.
Speaker 1: Ever see that mister Hans video. No, this guy guy
Speaker 1: was killed having sex with a horse. Wow, it was disturbing.
Speaker 1: That sounds disturbing. Apparently it was legal, though in the
Speaker 1: state of Washington there was some like beastiality loophole. That
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. How many times did day do you say yeehaw?
Speaker 1: Hardly have never? Okay? Can you play a harmonica? I can?
Speaker 1: Do you play poker? Yep? How many times have you
Speaker 1: seen tumbleweed just rolled by you a lot in the desert?
Speaker 2: How hot is it? It gets triple digits? So your
Speaker 2: horses don't have a problem with that.
Speaker 1: It's pretty awesome. They don't.
Speaker 2: I mean, and I only know because sometimes I don't
Speaker 2: wear my shoes. I'll run around. We call it grounding.
Speaker 2: What what's called grounding? So you barefoot? You just let
Speaker 2: your feet touch the earth.
Speaker 1: We just call it bare feet. Yeah, there's a technical term.
Speaker 2: Now okay, but one day I was out there and
Speaker 2: it was I we could probably leave this out too.
Speaker 2: So I have a campground as well, and we get
Speaker 2: a lot of campers that come and they like they
Speaker 2: don't use all their party favors, right, And people in
Speaker 2: the desert like to participate in the dark arts. Sure,
Speaker 2: So they come out there with like bags of mushrooms.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave this in just so you know. So
Speaker 1: he comes, he's leaving, and he gives me like this
Speaker 1: ziplock bag of mushrooms. I love them.
Speaker 2: So the guy gave you these mushrooms and he was like, hey,
Speaker 2: we couldn't finish these.
Speaker 1: You want them? And I was like sure.
Speaker 2: I'm sitting there, it's probably maybe two or three in
Speaker 2: the afternoon. I just start eating the mushrooms, just eating them.
Speaker 1: You thought it was a snack, for real.
Speaker 2: I just thought it was food. I thought it was mushrooms.
Speaker 2: That's what he thought he gave you. So I eat
Speaker 2: these mushrooms and six years later, the obviously the effects
Speaker 2: of it took. It took a little bit, but it started.
Speaker 2: I noticed after that the ant pile was like pulsating,
Speaker 2: and I felt like the antswer like marching one by one,
Speaker 2: and I could see him like dancing to the rhythm.
Speaker 1: They knew you were about to eat. That is that
Speaker 1: the last time you've done mushrooms? No, I prefer the
Speaker 1: tea now. Actually, okay, well that's fine. Somehow in between
Speaker 1: growing up on a reservation in Colorado and being a
Speaker 1: cowboy in the desert. You lived in La. Yeah, of
Speaker 1: all places, did you hate it here? You know?
Speaker 2: LA's a lot like the desert, beautiful but brutal. A
Speaker 2: lot of people come to LA with high hopes and
Speaker 2: asper and LA just beats them down. But I really
Speaker 2: just came to work. My brother had gotten to a
Speaker 2: motorcycle accident, so I left Colorado to come here and
Speaker 2: kind of help him recover. No spinal neck or back injuries,
Speaker 2: but he was bedridden for like four months. Huh, and
Speaker 2: I basically had to be like his housemaid. Did you
Speaker 2: have to wipe him everything? It was crazy. My brother
Speaker 2: had to wipe me once. When I was in college.
Speaker 2: I had broken both arms. I couldn't get behind. Wow, Well,
Speaker 2: what a good brother. But then you moved to La.
Speaker 2: So did you have culture shock When you first got here?
Speaker 2: They shaved me. They cut my hair off. It was
Speaker 2: like I looked like a really like a caveman.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: I'd been riding horses and training horses the whole time
Speaker 2: I was in Colorado, and so when I got to La,
Speaker 2: they were like, you can't. You're not gonna be able
Speaker 2: to get a job looking like that. You got to
Speaker 2: shave and trimming hair or something. So I ended up
Speaker 2: getting a job doing security at the Roosevelt Hotel, and
Speaker 2: I was working security at the West Hollywood addition. So
Speaker 2: my LA experience was different from most people's LA. I
Speaker 2: just went to work and kind of take care of
Speaker 2: my brother. So opportunities just open. And while I was
Speaker 2: taking care of my brother, I couldn't do anything else.
Speaker 2: I couldn't really have a job or he required twenty
Speaker 2: four to seven care. So finally when he got back
Speaker 2: on his feet, he was like, I'm leaving Hollywood.
Speaker 1: There's no structure. I don't like it.
Speaker 2: I'm moving to Australia. And he said I could have
Speaker 2: his apartment for a month and then the lease was up.
Speaker 2: So I'm in Beverly Hills and the lease is ending.
Speaker 1: That's where he has. Apartments in Beverly Hills. Apartments in
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2: Your brother was doing great, he was doing really well.
Speaker 2: He's still doing well. Boy, he's in Australia. Well, he's
Speaker 2: back in LA now Okay.
Speaker 1: In Beverly Hills. From eating ants to living in Beverly,
Speaker 1: you guys are the real Beverly Hillbillies. You know.
Speaker 2: I just kind of was like, this is you know,
Speaker 2: this is a culture shock for me because people there
Speaker 2: were like even some of the girls I talked to,
Speaker 2: they were like, I would be like, you want to
Speaker 2: have lunch and they'd be like sure, and I'd be like,
Speaker 2: let's meet at subway and They're like, eh, yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't need subway And I'm like, what, well, it's disgusting,
Speaker 2: all right, and you know that now, right?
Speaker 1: Do you know it? Now they make I don't know, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know what they use. But so they sponsor
Speaker 1: a great sandwich. It was pretty interesting, right, So you
Speaker 1: didn't do well. You didn't do well dating here, not
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: It was just kind of tough because, like I said,
Speaker 2: some of the girls they even down to like where
Speaker 2: I grocery shopped. I would go I would be like,
Speaker 2: let's let's go get something to eat, Let's pick up
Speaker 2: some groceries at Ralph's.
Speaker 1: Ralph's, that's not good enough. We're going to Bristol Farms. Okay,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. That's why you can't have
Speaker 1: an apartment Beverly Hills and go to next year to
Speaker 1: tell me that you went to John's. You know, Vaughn's
Speaker 1: is garbage. Then John's is below Vaughn. I've never been
Speaker 1: to there's a John's. Yeah, it's not good. I used
Speaker 1: to take a girl every now and on a date.
Speaker 1: We'd go to just the food court thing in Whole
Speaker 1: Foods where you just take a box and you fill
Speaker 1: it with whatever you wanted. I thought it was fancy enough,
Speaker 1: but that wasn't good enough. They didn't like that as
Speaker 1: a date. Anyway, you work security at the Roosevelt Hotel
Speaker 1: and you believe you saw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.
Speaker 1: So first, my ninth question that I ask you every guest,
Speaker 1: do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely, absolutely believe in ghosts?
Speaker 1: And while working at the Roosevelt Hotel, you believe you
Speaker 1: saw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe?
Speaker 2: True or false? True, and you tried to hit on her. Gosh,
Speaker 2: that's true. So I'm working at the Roosevelt. My shift
Speaker 2: is two to eleven. I've been there for probably maybe
Speaker 2: three months now. And there's like you do what's called
Speaker 2: a perimeter patrol. As I'm doing the perimeter patrol, you
Speaker 2: go out and around the entire hotel and you come
Speaker 2: back through the back and you go in through the
Speaker 2: back gate and it brings you into what's called the
Speaker 2: beer Garden. And the beer garden is underneath the bridge
Speaker 2: that overlooks Tropicana. So Tropicana is the pool area, and
Speaker 2: there's the Marylyn Monroe Suite, which is where she lived
Speaker 2: quite some time, right there on the edge of the
Speaker 2: Tropicana Pool area. So one night, I'm walking through the
Speaker 2: beer Garden and out of the corner of my eye,
Speaker 2: up on the bridge, I see this woman wearing like
Speaker 2: an old white gas and it just looks totally out
Speaker 2: of place for twenty eighteen. And she has a really
Speaker 2: nice figure with no like just doesn't look like she fits. Okay,
Speaker 2: So I walk around, I go up the stairs and
Speaker 2: I get up to the top and no one's there,
Speaker 2: and I'm looking around, like where did this lady go?
Speaker 2: But the Roosevelt's known for being haunted, so there's like
Speaker 2: there's a few different places where people see apparitions. When
Speaker 2: you said do I believe in ghosts, I think ghosts
Speaker 2: are I know this is going to sound desert woo woo,
Speaker 2: but I think it's energy.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So, because Marilyn was there so much and so many
Speaker 2: people knew she was there and loved her being there.
Speaker 2: There's like this collective energy that she's able to manifest there,
Speaker 2: and so that's the best way I can explain her
Speaker 2: being there. But that wasn't the only ghost situation there.
Speaker 2: So at the Roosevelt there's this room called the Spare Room.
Speaker 2: It's like a bowling alley slash bar. We had a
Speaker 2: security officer at the spare Room get possessed. Basically, he
Speaker 2: I don't know if he was on drugs or what,
Speaker 2: but he like started foaming at the mouth, talking this
Speaker 2: weird I guess you would call it tongues, just being
Speaker 2: extremely weird. We had to remove him from the spare
Speaker 2: room and then send him home because he was really.
Speaker 1: Because he was having a stroke and you didn't want
Speaker 1: to call the hospital. No, he was having some type
Speaker 1: of episode. I hope it was a stroke. Yeah, some
Speaker 1: of them. Maybe they should have called nine to one more.
Speaker 2: But there was a lot of weird stuff that happened
Speaker 2: to the Rose Horse. I mean, oh gosh, I can
Speaker 2: tell you stories about the Roosevelt all day. So one
Speaker 2: time John legends there they're having a party on the rooftop.
Speaker 1: One of the guys who's there. I hate that I
Speaker 1: have to say this, but he.
Speaker 2: Was like like his head was on his shoulder, so
Speaker 2: his whole, his whole, Both of his shoulders seemed like
Speaker 2: they were shifted this way, and his head was like
Speaker 2: over here. And people were saying he was a god
Speaker 2: from some outer space star series, some crazy stuff.
Speaker 1: Right. You ever see those conjoined twins, that one of
Speaker 1: them was a cowboy singer, a country singer. It's like
Speaker 1: a little one attached to the head, and she was
Speaker 1: a country singer. She was like small, and then there
Speaker 1: was like a big person that wasn't into country music.
Speaker 2: You never saw them all right, Well he looked that
Speaker 2: up sometimes a straight guy in that world. And there
Speaker 2: were people who were backing his story. Okay, well they're
Speaker 2: all idiots. I always give guests things that are on
Speaker 2: my show.
Speaker 1: You ever use a lip bomb, but in the desert,
Speaker 1: it's hot, so you need this little lip bomb cooler? Okay,
Speaker 1: that way with me. Yeah, you're gonna put that in here.
Speaker 1: Let me see that mightsticks might be too big. We'll see.
Speaker 2: That almost looks like yer a toy. No, my friend, No,
Speaker 2: it's not a sex toy. My family, my cousin's. I
Speaker 2: don't know a cousin's cousin. He invented this. It's got
Speaker 2: my initials on it. I'm giving it to you, lovely,
Speaker 2: it says chappy. I don't, but so your lip bomb
Speaker 2: doesn't melt out there in the desert. Also, you need
Speaker 2: a lint roller. My wife buys this stuff in bulk
Speaker 2: and I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's gonna fish it out. But
Speaker 1: I had this.
Speaker 2: One West this this you know, it's kind of like
Speaker 2: a good looking deum.
Speaker 1: Well right, I was like, I haven't even worn it,
Speaker 1: and I go, I'm not gonna wear this shirt. I go,
Speaker 1: I gotta get I gotta pass it on. So let's me.
Speaker 1: But I don't know if it'll fit you because you're
Speaker 1: way broader than I am. That's a you don't want
Speaker 1: to wear that. Come out to the red No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I give you. I give you this shirt. This is amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. You're welcome. Dude. You can just set that
Speaker 1: all on the ground there. That doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: This is actually pretty cool because chapstick does melt out there.
Speaker 1: Well, of course it does not anymore. Now you got
Speaker 1: yourself cool little somebody's gonna think this is It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what they think. Okay, you're a man. You can
Speaker 1: handle having a little pink dildo in your pocket. What
Speaker 1: do people need to do to help your horse sanctuary?
Speaker 2: Come and visit, interact with the horses, see that there's
Speaker 2: a benefit. Like you said, you don't have to ride
Speaker 2: them to get the benefits.
Speaker 1: You currently have twenty five horses. Fun, how many could
Speaker 1: you actually? What was? It's a maximmer. You could probably
Speaker 1: hold there.
Speaker 2: When I reverse whiteboarded this, I did it from ninety
Speaker 2: Uh huh, I could easily hold ninety.
Speaker 1: But there's there's myself. I mean employees. You got over there.
Speaker 2: I have a handful of volunteers and two employees, a
Speaker 2: young lady that runs the back office and a young
Speaker 2: lady that manages the campground.
Speaker 1: I heard you had a high desert danny out to
Speaker 1: your ranch. Yeah, that's our snake lady friend. She calls
Speaker 1: herself the rattlesnake wrangler. Huh.
Speaker 2: And a wrangler works horses. Okay, So I was like, hey,
Speaker 2: if you're a wrangler, come ride horses with me. And
Speaker 2: she was like, I've never been on a horse. I'm
Speaker 2: scared of horses. I was like this, okay, you can
Speaker 2: come out here. I'll help you out. So she came
Speaker 2: out and put her on her trail ride and she
Speaker 2: did great. Then she came back. She brought a lot
Speaker 2: of weed, uh huh and snakes and it was fun.
Speaker 1: Are all these stories true? Are you is a brilliantly
Speaker 1: trained character actor. No, they're true. Yeah, you've lived quite
Speaker 1: a rich life, that is. It is impressive. You sure
Speaker 1: you don't want to take a run at my wife's cousin. No,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, man, I think you're gonna like her.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna send her out there. She's all she's just
Speaker 1: a horse. I mean, she's in a relationship too. But
Speaker 1: well it doesn't man, it's I listen, she wants kids
Speaker 1: and she loves horses. You guys, just you're two peas
Speaker 1: in a pod. That's all I'm saying. Oh you're gonna
Speaker 1: love her, you guys, then we're gonna be family. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be weird. I listen. We appreciate everything you do
Speaker 1: all the best, Daniel, Thank you so much for having them.
Speaker 1: All right, man, I'll see you at the UH at
Speaker 1: the next family reunion. Pasha, I want to thank Chris
Speaker 1: for being on the show. I can't wait to get
Speaker 1: out there and ride that horse. I don't think i'll
Speaker 1: do it. I'll be honest with you, I'm not I
Speaker 1: don't want to be on top of a horse. I'll
Speaker 1: stop by, I'll say hi, but no, no, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna get on a horse. How about you? Have you
Speaker 1: ridden a horse?
Speaker 3: Carl?
Speaker 1: Can a dog ride a horse? That's a great question.
Speaker 1: What's going on? What have you been up to? You
Speaker 1: watching Wimbledon? Huh, I'm watching Wimbledon. Sinner? You know the
Speaker 1: new current world number one, Alcarez, Love them love Alcarez.
Speaker 1: Now you know his haircut's getting a little better. It
Speaker 1: started out very poor, now it's getting better. Cinner. The
Speaker 1: problem I have with Sinner I've seen him play several times.
Speaker 1: I can't wrap my head around a redheaded Italian. It's
Speaker 1: just weird. And then when he talks, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I keep forgetting you're Italian because he's got red hair,
Speaker 1: and I just don't think of Italians as gingers. But
Speaker 1: sure enough, they've got gingers over there in Italy. Speaking
Speaker 1: of tennis, I watched that movie the other day. What's
Speaker 1: it called The One with Zendaya. Oh yeah, challengers. Challengers
Speaker 1: didn't know I was embarking on a little soft core porn,
Speaker 1: just just all kinds of sex in that. I thought
Speaker 1: Zindaia was great. There's no chance that you know, she
Speaker 1: should get an award for that. But the story was
Speaker 1: silly and ridiculous. My problem with it was I couldn't
Speaker 1: believe the time spanned that she was, you know, sixteen
Speaker 1: seventeen in the beginning, and then she's thirty something in
Speaker 1: the end. It's like, well, you look the exact same.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, oh your haircut, you gave yourself a
Speaker 1: bad bob, and now I'm supposed to believe you're older.
Speaker 1: That ass ain't thirty mm hmm. Showing her sweet cheeks
Speaker 1: in that movie, you believe that? That was uncomfortable. I
Speaker 1: was just sitting next to my wife the whole time
Speaker 1: watching this movie. Oh, isn't necessary. I don't find that
Speaker 1: attractive whatsoever. You know, Yeah, tennis very sexual game. Apparently
Speaker 1: that's why I like pick a ball. You know, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's less less about the sex and more about
Speaker 1: just hitting a ball back and forth over a net.
Speaker 1: All right, what's going on boyswearpink dot com. Check out
Speaker 1: our clothing line for toddlers. The Goat. All episodes available
Speaker 1: now on Prime. We're going on tour. We're doing shows
Speaker 1: different places, New Orleans, shows in Hawaii. I think we're
Speaker 1: gonna add something in December. We got to find a
Speaker 1: place to go in December. Another one of my son's
Speaker 1: bedtime stories. See you guys next week. A little story
Speaker 1: tonight because I'm really sleepy.
Speaker 3: Love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's too short. Give me a nice story about
Speaker 1: maybe you won't really like it. Well, I'll be the judge.
Speaker 3: Okay, Once upon a time they were desulted in the water.
Speaker 3: They were listen and told it. But any time they
Speaker 3: trast away, how theyd ate them dying time eating either
Speaker 3: when they at night time, they do a time out,
Speaker 3: and then they then get a sissy. Then and then
Speaker 3: the show about a ship signing Nemo, and then I
Speaker 1: Don't swer that that was awful