WEBVTT - Rush to Judgment 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:09.920 Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:13.520 home office in Austin, Texas. LZ, how you doing. 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:17.279 I'm so good. My voice is back. I'm probably going 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:19.560 to lose it again as of tomorrow because I'm leaving 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:22.480 again for a week. But I'm enjoying this moment. Sees 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:24.480 the moment of success. 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:26.079 A good season, as you like to say, We're in 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:29.160 a good season. You have this amazing trip coming up. 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:32.160 We're not going to dive into what and why you're 0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:35.159 going away for a week from me, but I do 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:37.199 want to talk about it because it's really special and 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:40.159 it's beautiful, and we'll dive into it like maybe a 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:40.840 week from now. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:43.040 And let's say the word week one more time. I 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:44.280 think we've had a really good week. 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:45.160 We've had a great week. 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:46.280 We've gotten a lot done. 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:49.080 Very wedding week. Is that a thing? We've had a 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:51.080 wedding lee week, you know. 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.200 And I will say this being the second time I've 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:58.160 done this wedding thing. Speaking from experience, I think wedding 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:01.360 planning is a roller coaster. I mean a emotionally for 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:04.520 a lot of people, but be literally, don't you feel 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.360 we sort of get a lot done and then we 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:08.000 kind of step away from it for a while, and 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:09.399 then you sort of knock out a bunch in a 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:12.320 week and then you come back. And I think that's 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:14.840 better because then you're not thinking about it all the time. 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:17.720 But it makes sense because there's some things you have 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:20.080 to get done really far out, like book your venue, 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:23.760 book your music, and then closer on, you know some 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:25.959 things you can't do so far out, so closer on, 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:28.560 we're starting to get a few things done. Do you 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:31.479 think we delayed on anything. I'm getting nervous because when 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:34.679 I speak to some people, they sort of seem alarmed at. 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.559 Our lack of I know, I think I was cutting 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:42.560 it close. I just went up to Dallas and had 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:46.920 suits made for it was big this week for me 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:49.200 and the groomsmen, the people that'll be a part of 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:53.880 our wedding. And I didn't realize, you know, we're cutting 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.320 it close. And so I went to an amazing. 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:56.960 And they tell you that you were. 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.000 Yeah. So I went to Kin's man Shop in Dallas, Texas. 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:03.120 This amazing habitashery, which is a word we don't use 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.720 enough anymore. Like old school Habitashery. You probably had a 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:08.919 lot of them in Chicago, because I think Chicago and 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:12.480 I think suits and fedoras and those kind of the old, 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:14.240 great looking men's. 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:16.600 So it's a men's shop. Does Habitdashery mean you get 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:17.960 it tailored, you get it especially made. 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:20.120 Yeah, like they make your suits and it's you know, 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:23.360 it's old school. And the way they treat you whiskey. Yeah. 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:25.440 You spend the day and they'll you know, or your 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.280 old steak sandwich or whatever, and you you really they 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:30.680 know you your family. And so I went to this 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:34.120 amazing it is phenomenal men's shop in Dallas, Texas called 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:37.799 Kinsman Shop that I go to frequently, and they are 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:41.720 making my wedding suits. And so went with my brother 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:47.320 your brother, yes, my son, and we you know, we're 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.040 getting suits put together and it was really fun. It 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:52.720 was great. But we're cutting it close. We're cutting it close, 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.720 they said, because they they're like, we got to build 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:57.880 these from scratch, buddy. So there are some things we're 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:01.160 taken care of, and it's it's it's approaching quickly, but 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:06.080 I'm I'm it's building an excitement. I am really unbelievably excited. 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:09.120 I don't know why. Four to six weeks is like 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.359 the cooking equivalent of three hundred and fifty degrees. Everything's 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:14.520 at that. If you put pretty much anything in your 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:17.000 oven at three fifty, count on four to six weeks 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:19.440 for just anything to be made. And so I do 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.639 think we're we're cutting it close, but we're not down 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:25.400 to the wire yet. And I have to say, I 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.360 mean I cried twice this week with all this wedding 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:31.320 stuff we were getting done, both for good reason. First, 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:34.400 you just mentioned bringing my brother with you. I have 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:38.280 to applaud you because I was away on my girl's trip. 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:42.440 You were planning this thing this day to take the 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.720 guy's shopping for suits, and I didn't even know you'd 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:48.280 plan this with my brother, And you had his flight 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:51.120 handled and had him fly in, and it just meant 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:54.240 the world to me that you included him without even 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:58.400 a question and he had an amazing time. It is 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:00.440 such a good reminder well in that me me cry. 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:04.279 And it's such a good reminder too to have the experience. 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:06.960 I think sometimes when you're planning something like a wedding, 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:08.800 it's get it done. What's on the to do list? 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:10.840 What do we have to do. But it looked like 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:13.880 you all had a really beautiful day just enjoying trying 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:15.280 the suits on and picking it out. 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:18.480 It was awesome. And that's that's why I would recommend 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:22.360 going to a habitasary because just like saying I do 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:24.920 like saying it. It's very high, right, I feel like 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.160 I should have a whiskey in my hand. But spending 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:30.360 the day going through all the kind of the swatches 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:32.240 and picking it up, it was just a thing that 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.720 brought us all together and everybody was collaborating of what 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:36.640 we thought would look great and what we were doing. 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:39.960 And I kind of turned it into I didn't want 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:41.960 to have a bachelor party, but that's what I kind 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:44.320 of turned into. My bachelor party was the night before 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:48.920 your brother, my brother, his son, my godson, and mine, 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.440 we all went to the Texas Ranger game. My brother 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:53.680 and I grew up going to the Ranger games with 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:55.480 my dad and it means a lot to us. We 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.800 love baseball and we've always loved the Texas Rangers. So 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:01.760 we were in town, went to a Ranger game and 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:03.479 we were just hanging out, watched the ball game, and 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:05.240 then we got out the next day, had suits made. 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.080 It was cool. It was my kind of bachelor party. 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:11.400 I mean, maybe this sweetest and most productive bachelor party ever. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:13.920 I have to give you a tip of the hat. 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.680 Not only did you have a tame, chill bachelor party, 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:17.760 but you got things done. 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:20.279 You were getting tasks a coo and I mean, if 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:23.520 truth be told, moved Joshua back into TCU, so had 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.080 to move him into college in Fort Worth. Then we 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:27.960 went to the game then, so we really got a 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:28.680 lot done. 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:33.719 So we also got done. Picking out our wedding bands, 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:37.960 our wedding ring. Do you say wedding ring or wedding band? 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:41.839 I wear wedding ring, I would think, Unless I'm completely wrong, No, I. 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:43.320 Don't know why I say wedding band. And then I 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:45.599 keep saying and I think people think I'm talking different 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:46.520 the music. 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:49.279 I think yours would be different because you have a 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:51.920 wedding ring on, right or is that just our engagement right? 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:53.480 I think that's the engager ring. I think I'm weird. 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:55.239 I have to stop saying wedding band. It's confusing. 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:55.680 Maybe. 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:59.200 So we picked out our wedding ring, yes, and I 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:01.320 cried there too. I didn't think I was gonna cry, 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.599 but we sort of found one for me kind of 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:08.560 right away, and you ended up with one that you 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:09.839 did not think you were going. 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:12.440 To know, I did not think so. First of all, 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:15.680 we went to this great local spot, m Robinson. 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:19.960 M Robinson Fine Jewelers. The most magical experience because the 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:23.440 store itself is so beautiful. They have a full bar 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:26.280 and in this jeweler, Yeah, that's really cool. 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:27.760 We walk into a great bar. 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.200 I mean whatever I get. It's sort of the equivalent 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:32.799 of a habitashery in the best way. It's very special 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.280 and curated. They have a full bar, they give you 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:39.680 a glass of champagne, and again, they make shopping an experience. 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:43.000 I always feel like I'm having, in the best way, 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:46.120 this pretty woman moment or a movie moment. It's a 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:50.159 gorgeous store. They've actually won design awards for the layout 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:52.400 and look of the store, and they have so much 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:53.000 great selection. 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.360 We just love the fact that we're shopping local. Yah, 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.479 supporting the folks here in Austin. And I had this 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:04.000 idea my head of wearing a ring. Again. Obviously, I've 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:07.480 been married before, as has LZ, and so my last 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:09.320 ring was very specific because I had something to do 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:11.880 with my grandfather, but it was gold, and I just thought, 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:13.720 you know, I'm probably not gonna wear gold. And I 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.240 even told Elz the night before as she asked me, 0:07:16.280 --> 0:07:17.720 what do you think? And I said, you know, I 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:21.320 don't think I'm gonna wear gold. I so, but what. 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:24.440 Was funny is in my head and I really wanted 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:26.560 this to be your decision, but he's saying, I don't 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.080 think I'm gonna weear gold. I'm gonna get like white 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:32.239 gold or silver titanium. And in my head, I was thinking, 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.000 I'm picturing him in a gold wedding band. But I 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.440 didn't want to project my image on to you. This 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:39.080 is something you wear every day, and I wanted to 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:39.680 be what you like. 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:41.920 And you let you let me come to the conclusion 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:43.239 that was yours from the first. 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:45.640 Maybe that's a mental tactic I took from you. 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.720 I'm then used on you, and I'm a big believer 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:50.720 you're kind of like this too. You will, you'll take 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:54.080 more time afterwards, but you definitely come to conclusions quickly 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.000 like I do. I am heartfelt. I if I have 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:00.680 that emotion with something, a house, a car, in this case, 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:04.040 my wedding ring, if I feel it, that's it. I'm done, 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:07.200 I am smitten, I've fallen in love. You are the one. 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.120 And that's how I felt about this ring that we 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:13.240 found and in Yes, you were right, it's gold. And 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:15.280 as soon as I saw it, and I was even 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:17.760 reluctant to try it on, I probably wouldn't have even 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:19.920 tried it on if you hadn't said hey, just take 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.920 a look. And as soon as I did, it was over. 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:22.760 It was done. 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:26.920 It's interesting, I think, particularly with wedding stuff, people picture 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.040 it in their heads, you know. And I learned wedding 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:32.640 dress shopping actually because a good salesperson will say, hey, 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:35.320 why don't we just try something on that's totally different 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.360 from what you were thinking, just to see how it feels, 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:40.199 and you put that dress on, and then I actually 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:44.199 think oftentimes it's wait, this is the dress because it's funny. 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.160 I don't know why we have this image. But then 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:48.480 if someone just suggests something else and gets us outside 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:51.600 of our comfort zone a little bit, you know, it's 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:53.520 such an I think you it's such an important day 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:54.680 that you can get a little set in your ways, 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:55.360 in your mind. 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:58.520 And do you think that oftentimes? In life? Sometimes dating, 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:01.880 sometimes whatever it is, if you like something that you 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:04.559 were pretty dead set on not liking. That says a 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:08.320 lot like I was going into it not thinking I 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:10.280 was going to like that, and then when you do, 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:12.160 it's even a bigger emotion. 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:14.840 It's a reminder to stay open. Right. It's like what 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.199 I tell my friend my single friends with dating, they 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:20.319 have this check mark licks list, and you know, I 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:22.800 got to check all these boxes of things, and it's hey, 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.320 stay open because the guy who doesn't fit any of 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:30.240 those might be the perfect eye for you. And well 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.360 you just mentioned I think it was also a lesson 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:36.040 and yeah, just know thyself and how we react to things. 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:38.840 But I found my ring. I think it was the 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.320 first one I tried on. It was I saw it, 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:44.600 I did. I did feel like, okay, that looks like me, 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:47.240 but I had no idea what I wanted going in. 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:50.360 It was the first one I tried on. I kind 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.720 of started crying. But then the way I operate, you're 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.880 very confident, you think I picked this, this is it. 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.200 I love it. I had to go then try on 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:03.480 maybe email thing twenty more rings so that I knew 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:05.000 that in my head, I was comparing it to that 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:06.600 first ring, and I knew that ring was the ring 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:10.160 for me. So it's a process. Yeah, It's just like 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:12.200 how when we started dating, I had to go date 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:13.960 twenty more kidding funny. 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:17.080 I was about to ask, is that what happened? And 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:21.480 I immediately saw that ring on your finger and I 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:24.040 knew that was the one. It was. There's just something 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:27.640 about it. It's weird when they just things like that fit. 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.760 It just looked right, it was beautiful. It was just 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:33.480 I fell in love with it and I can't wait 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:34.400 to put it on your finger. 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:36.880 It was a beautiful day. It was so much fun, 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:40.199 and I am I continue to kind of be pleasantly 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:43.599 surprised by like everything feels easy. I don't want to 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.640 jinx it. And then, you know, I don't know when 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:48.640 you will. Maybe when you allow yourself to not push 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:50.720 so much pressure on it, then it allows just the 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:51.920 happiness to come in. Well. 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:54.760 And I know there are hurdles ahead. I know we 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:56.959 will trip and stumble. I know something's going to hit us. 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.880 That'll be you know, whatever, there will be a little something. 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:04.520 I feel like, knock on wood, that you and I 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:06.720 will handle it well. I feel like you and I 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:09.480 know the end goal, the endgame is that we have 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:11.760 this amazing wedding and we're just together and we say 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.200 I do and that that's the most important thing. So 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:16.600 I think when that does come, I think you will. 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:18.959 We will be good at picking each other up, dust 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.960 each other off, and we're heading to the big picture. 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.520 You gotta pivot, You got to move forward. Yeah, the 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:27.560 most important quality in life adapting with change. I say 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:29.200 this now, who knows how I feel if something goes 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.400 really wrong. But the problem is if slash. When something 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:34.679 goes wrong on your wedding day, and it's probably guaranteed 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.560 to if you don't respond, well, then you've ruined the 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:39.800 rest of your own wedding day and the only person 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:40.760 you're hurting is yourself. 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:55.160 I said something interesting to your brother. We were talking 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.600 about the wedding, and he goes, I love this. I'm 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:00.280 going to take that and steal it because you're brothers 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.760 not married yet, and it's something you say a lot, 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:05.760 and I repeat it. We were talking about who's going 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:07.520 to be at the wedding. He was asking about, you know, 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.319 who else is going to be there. It's very very small, intimate, 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:14.400 and I said, I don't want to meet anybody on 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:17.520 our wedding day, and he stopped me. He's like, what 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:19.760 I said, I don't you know, Lauren, and I believe 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:21.840 we don't want to be introduced to anybody on our 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:25.760 wedding day, meaning we don't want strangers there. And he said, 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.520 he you know, John, your brother was like, that is 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:32.000 the most amazing quote. I'm taking that and I'm taking 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:34.839 that to my own wedding someday. And I don't know 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:36.760 if that's a novel thing, but I you know. 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:43.600 Where I got that far from Wells's Wells Adams's brother's wife. Okay, 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:46.160 Wells's sister in law. We were hanging out a golf thing. 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:48.680 Wells's brother was caddying for him, and we were talking 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.520 about weddings and Brett's wife said that they had the 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.400 agreement they didn't want to meet anybody at their wedding, 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.160 meaning Okay, yes, this person might be your childhood friend, 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:59.320 but if I haven't met him five years into the 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.199 relationship at this point, I mean. 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:01.920 How good of a friend. 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.640 Yes, so it is a good marker and I credit 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:05.280 them for that. 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.160 And we well, then that's who we've stolen it from. 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:08.800 Now your brother's stealing it from us, and I think 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:12.000 it is a great rule of thumb to take into 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.559 your wedding. Of Hey, between the two of us, let's 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.800 not meet somebody for the first time after we've just 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:20.600 said I do at the most intimate moment of our lives. 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.600 And so that was an interesting conversation with your brother 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:24.000 as well. 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:26.720 Let's talk about another interesting conversation you had with him. 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:31.199 This is so funny, what a what family members will 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:34.280 reveal when given the opportunity to be alone with your partner. 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:37.240 Chris and my brother have never spent like, have never 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:41.160 done a trip away together. And also a lesson in 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:44.960 the trauma we inflict on our siblings. You told me 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:47.400 this story that he told you, and I have zero 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:49.080 recollection of this and it's so weird. 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:53.720 So the Ziema family, there's two older sisters. There is Lauren, 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:58.040 her sister Christina. Then there's the younger brother John. So 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:01.040 he's the youngest of three two older sisters. That's a 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:04.280 lot right there, I'm sure. Then he says, oh, yeah, 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:08.720 Christina and Lauren made me the weirdest food and they 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:11.240 would make me eat it because we were having we 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.199 were having lunch yesterday and I ordered a tuna fish 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:15.160 sandwich and he goes, Oh, my god, I can't eat 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:18.080 tuna fish. I said, why man, and he goes, because 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.440 my sisters made me. You know, fruit roll ups, right, 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:25.000 they said they put tuna fish in a fruit roll up, 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.840 rolled it up. And then you said they put my 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.240 mom's red sauce on it. I was like, what's that? 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:32.800 He said, it was with spaghetti sauce, like spaghetti sauce. 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:36.080 So you put tuna in a fruit roll up, put 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.520 spaghetti sauce on it, made your brother eat it, and 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:42.200 it made him sick. No shocker there. To this day, 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.400 your brother cannot eat tuna fish because of what you 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:44.920 did to him. 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:48.040 I have never heard this from him. Let me take 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:51.720 this moment to publicly apologize to him for the trauma. 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.200 It is wild what we remember from our childhoods and 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.720 other people don't. Of course, I look back on being 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:01.720 his older sister, and I think all I did was protect. 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:02.400 Him, imparted wisdom. 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:05.360 I cooked for him, but never tuna in a fruit 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.960 roll up. I babysat him. Wow. 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:11.400 Wait wait, I want to stop you. You cooked for him, Well, 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.160 maybe that was a step too far. 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:16.760 I did. I mean, I mean mac and cheese. I 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:18.720 remember I would make frozen chicken tenders, but you just 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:20.560 put those in the oven at three point fifty. 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.000 So we had a great week and it's it was 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:24.560 a good step. And I think now we're going to 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:26.880 hit the pause button again for a moment because we 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.240 got stuff in your traveling, and then we'll get back 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:29.720 into it. 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.640 This roller coaster keeps on rolling up and down. 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:36.240 But something I really wanted to talk about this week 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:40.200 because we're kind of going through it somewhat. But it's 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:44.320 something that everybody's going back to school and a lot 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.000 of parents friends of ours have their kids going to college. 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:48.760 We went through this last year. You've gone through this 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:54.560 as a student sorority rush. Sorority recruitment is going on 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:56.760 right now at a lot of schools, not all schools. 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.440 Some do second semester, some do whatever, but the majority 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.520 of schools going through rush right now. Our daughter Taylor 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:05.440 is at TCU. She's now a sophomore. She's a theta, 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.000 so she's on the other side of it. But we 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.520 went through it last year. This is something that Lauren 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:15.440 tried to prepare me for. I was not emotionally prepared. 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:17.640 I had a son who went through a fraternity rush, 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:22.160 not the same at all. It is the difference between 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:27.400 I don't know, there's no difference, there's no comparison. So 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.000 going through sorty rush and so we're living this now 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:32.440 with a lot of parents, and it's really taken to 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:35.240 the internet now because of TikTok. There's the girl from 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.680 Alabama that's tiktoking, that's you know, kind. 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.320 Of last year and then but that one woman's young 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.400 woman started it last year. I don't know if now 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:44.160 it's still going on here. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.920 There's a girl on TikTok. I read an article today 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.120 about a girl that's going through it. She's like, I 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.760 am miserable. It is so blessedly hot, I am exhausted. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:56.400 I haven't slept rush talk. Yeah, it's a lot. And 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:58.160 so we are going through that with some of our 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.800 friends that are now freshmen, and I just I feel 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:03.320 for all of you parents out there. 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:06.119 I think the hardest part about it. Tell me if 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:09.720 I'm wrong, is that it's one of those situations where 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:13.520 as a parent there's nothing you can do. You want 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:17.479 your child to be accepted, to find friends, but you 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.879 have no control in this situation, and your child is 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:25.040 feeling rejected and feeling hurt and you can't, you can't 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:25.719 really do anything. 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:28.119 That's a good point because it's kind of the first time. 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:29.879 You know, first of all, we're letting go for the 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.040 first time from high school to college. So you're letting 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:34.200 go as it is, and you're right into one of 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:37.240 the worst positions a parent and kid. 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:39.800 Right off the bat, Yeah, before the school's even started. 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:43.120 And I've also because we have a few friends who 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:45.240 their kids are going through this year, and so I'm 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:48.560 just talking to the moms and counseling them and checking 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:52.280 in on them, because again, you want this to be 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:55.360 and I do believe. I mean my sorority sisters, who 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:57.280 are the women I just went on my girls trip with. 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:00.760 They are my dearest friends in the world eighteen years 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:03.960 after I went through this recruitment thing myself, and so 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:07.400 I believe in the process you are going to find friends. 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:08.880 And it's such a great way to make a big 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.560 school feel small and a great way for your daughter 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.879 son to have activities and things going on and stay 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:18.400 busy in a new environment. But no matter what, when 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:22.000 you're going through recruitment and a house says they don't 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.960 want you, it feels like rejection. And what I try 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:30.560 to tell our friends about their daughters. Is it's like dating. Actually, 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:32.840 it is like a relationship. It's like figuring it out. 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:36.720