Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the
Speaker 1: home office in Austin, Texas. LZ, how you doing.
Speaker 2: I'm so good. My voice is back. I'm probably going
Speaker 2: to lose it again as of tomorrow because I'm leaving
Speaker 2: again for a week. But I'm enjoying this moment. Sees
Speaker 2: the moment of success.
Speaker 1: A good season, as you like to say, We're in
Speaker 1: a good season. You have this amazing trip coming up.
Speaker 1: We're not going to dive into what and why you're
Speaker 1: going away for a week from me, but I do
Speaker 1: want to talk about it because it's really special and
Speaker 1: it's beautiful, and we'll dive into it like maybe a
Speaker 1: week from now.
Speaker 2: And let's say the word week one more time. I
Speaker 2: think we've had a really good week.
Speaker 1: We've had a great week.
Speaker 2: We've gotten a lot done.
Speaker 1: Very wedding week. Is that a thing? We've had a
Speaker 1: wedding lee week, you know.
Speaker 2: And I will say this being the second time I've
Speaker 2: done this wedding thing. Speaking from experience, I think wedding
Speaker 2: planning is a roller coaster. I mean a emotionally for
Speaker 2: a lot of people, but be literally, don't you feel
Speaker 2: we sort of get a lot done and then we
Speaker 2: kind of step away from it for a while, and
Speaker 2: then you sort of knock out a bunch in a
Speaker 2: week and then you come back. And I think that's
Speaker 2: better because then you're not thinking about it all the time.
Speaker 2: But it makes sense because there's some things you have
Speaker 2: to get done really far out, like book your venue,
Speaker 2: book your music, and then closer on, you know some
Speaker 2: things you can't do so far out, so closer on,
Speaker 2: we're starting to get a few things done. Do you
Speaker 2: think we delayed on anything. I'm getting nervous because when
Speaker 2: I speak to some people, they sort of seem alarmed at.
Speaker 1: Our lack of I know, I think I was cutting
Speaker 1: it close. I just went up to Dallas and had
Speaker 1: suits made for it was big this week for me
Speaker 1: and the groomsmen, the people that'll be a part of
Speaker 1: our wedding. And I didn't realize, you know, we're cutting
Speaker 1: it close. And so I went to an amazing.
Speaker 2: And they tell you that you were.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I went to Kin's man Shop in Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 1: This amazing habitashery, which is a word we don't use
Speaker 1: enough anymore. Like old school Habitashery. You probably had a
Speaker 1: lot of them in Chicago, because I think Chicago and
Speaker 1: I think suits and fedoras and those kind of the old,
Speaker 1: great looking men's.
Speaker 2: So it's a men's shop. Does Habitdashery mean you get
Speaker 2: it tailored, you get it especially made.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like they make your suits and it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's old school. And the way they treat you whiskey. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You spend the day and they'll you know, or your
Speaker 1: old steak sandwich or whatever, and you you really they
Speaker 1: know you your family. And so I went to this
Speaker 1: amazing it is phenomenal men's shop in Dallas, Texas called
Speaker 1: Kinsman Shop that I go to frequently, and they are
Speaker 1: making my wedding suits. And so went with my brother
Speaker 1: your brother, yes, my son, and we you know, we're
Speaker 1: getting suits put together and it was really fun. It
Speaker 1: was great. But we're cutting it close. We're cutting it close,
Speaker 1: they said, because they they're like, we got to build
Speaker 1: these from scratch, buddy. So there are some things we're
Speaker 1: taken care of, and it's it's it's approaching quickly, but
Speaker 1: I'm I'm it's building an excitement. I am really unbelievably excited.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. Four to six weeks is like
Speaker 2: the cooking equivalent of three hundred and fifty degrees. Everything's
Speaker 2: at that. If you put pretty much anything in your
Speaker 2: oven at three fifty, count on four to six weeks
Speaker 2: for just anything to be made. And so I do
Speaker 2: think we're we're cutting it close, but we're not down
Speaker 2: to the wire yet. And I have to say, I
Speaker 2: mean I cried twice this week with all this wedding
Speaker 2: stuff we were getting done, both for good reason. First,
Speaker 2: you just mentioned bringing my brother with you. I have
Speaker 2: to applaud you because I was away on my girl's trip.
Speaker 2: You were planning this thing this day to take the
Speaker 2: guy's shopping for suits, and I didn't even know you'd
Speaker 2: plan this with my brother, And you had his flight
Speaker 2: handled and had him fly in, and it just meant
Speaker 2: the world to me that you included him without even
Speaker 2: a question and he had an amazing time. It is
Speaker 2: such a good reminder well in that me me cry.
Speaker 2: And it's such a good reminder too to have the experience.
Speaker 2: I think sometimes when you're planning something like a wedding,
Speaker 2: it's get it done. What's on the to do list?
Speaker 2: What do we have to do. But it looked like
Speaker 2: you all had a really beautiful day just enjoying trying
Speaker 2: the suits on and picking it out.
Speaker 1: It was awesome. And that's that's why I would recommend
Speaker 1: going to a habitasary because just like saying I do
Speaker 1: like saying it. It's very high, right, I feel like
Speaker 1: I should have a whiskey in my hand. But spending
Speaker 1: the day going through all the kind of the swatches
Speaker 1: and picking it up, it was just a thing that
Speaker 1: brought us all together and everybody was collaborating of what
Speaker 1: we thought would look great and what we were doing.
Speaker 1: And I kind of turned it into I didn't want
Speaker 1: to have a bachelor party, but that's what I kind
Speaker 1: of turned into. My bachelor party was the night before
Speaker 1: your brother, my brother, his son, my godson, and mine,
Speaker 1: we all went to the Texas Ranger game. My brother
Speaker 1: and I grew up going to the Ranger games with
Speaker 1: my dad and it means a lot to us. We
Speaker 1: love baseball and we've always loved the Texas Rangers. So
Speaker 1: we were in town, went to a Ranger game and
Speaker 1: we were just hanging out, watched the ball game, and
Speaker 1: then we got out the next day, had suits made.
Speaker 1: It was cool. It was my kind of bachelor party.
Speaker 2: I mean, maybe this sweetest and most productive bachelor party ever.
Speaker 2: I have to give you a tip of the hat.
Speaker 2: Not only did you have a tame, chill bachelor party,
Speaker 2: but you got things done.
Speaker 1: You were getting tasks a coo and I mean, if
Speaker 1: truth be told, moved Joshua back into TCU, so had
Speaker 1: to move him into college in Fort Worth. Then we
Speaker 1: went to the game then, so we really got a
Speaker 1: lot done.
Speaker 2: So we also got done. Picking out our wedding bands,
Speaker 2: our wedding ring. Do you say wedding ring or wedding band?
Speaker 1: I wear wedding ring, I would think, Unless I'm completely wrong, No, I.
Speaker 2: Don't know why I say wedding band. And then I
Speaker 2: keep saying and I think people think I'm talking different
Speaker 2: the music.
Speaker 1: I think yours would be different because you have a
Speaker 1: wedding ring on, right or is that just our engagement right?
Speaker 2: I think that's the engager ring. I think I'm weird.
Speaker 2: I have to stop saying wedding band. It's confusing.
Speaker 1: Maybe.
Speaker 2: So we picked out our wedding ring, yes, and I
Speaker 2: cried there too. I didn't think I was gonna cry,
Speaker 2: but we sort of found one for me kind of
Speaker 2: right away, and you ended up with one that you
Speaker 2: did not think you were going.
Speaker 1: To know, I did not think so. First of all,
Speaker 1: we went to this great local spot, m Robinson.
Speaker 2: M Robinson Fine Jewelers. The most magical experience because the
Speaker 2: store itself is so beautiful. They have a full bar
Speaker 2: and in this jeweler, Yeah, that's really cool.
Speaker 1: We walk into a great bar.
Speaker 2: I mean whatever I get. It's sort of the equivalent
Speaker 2: of a habitashery in the best way. It's very special
Speaker 2: and curated. They have a full bar, they give you
Speaker 2: a glass of champagne, and again, they make shopping an experience.
Speaker 2: I always feel like I'm having, in the best way,
Speaker 2: this pretty woman moment or a movie moment. It's a
Speaker 2: gorgeous store. They've actually won design awards for the layout
Speaker 2: and look of the store, and they have so much
Speaker 2: great selection.
Speaker 1: We just love the fact that we're shopping local. Yah,
Speaker 1: supporting the folks here in Austin. And I had this
Speaker 1: idea my head of wearing a ring. Again. Obviously, I've
Speaker 1: been married before, as has LZ, and so my last
Speaker 1: ring was very specific because I had something to do
Speaker 1: with my grandfather, but it was gold, and I just thought,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm probably not gonna wear gold. And I
Speaker 1: even told Elz the night before as she asked me,
Speaker 1: what do you think? And I said, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm gonna wear gold. I so, but what.
Speaker 2: Was funny is in my head and I really wanted
Speaker 2: this to be your decision, but he's saying, I don't
Speaker 2: think I'm gonna weear gold. I'm gonna get like white
Speaker 2: gold or silver titanium. And in my head, I was thinking,
Speaker 2: I'm picturing him in a gold wedding band. But I
Speaker 2: didn't want to project my image on to you. This
Speaker 2: is something you wear every day, and I wanted to
Speaker 2: be what you like.
Speaker 1: And you let you let me come to the conclusion
Speaker 1: that was yours from the first.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's a mental tactic I took from you.
Speaker 1: I'm then used on you, and I'm a big believer
Speaker 1: you're kind of like this too. You will, you'll take
Speaker 1: more time afterwards, but you definitely come to conclusions quickly
Speaker 1: like I do. I am heartfelt. I if I have
Speaker 1: that emotion with something, a house, a car, in this case,
Speaker 1: my wedding ring, if I feel it, that's it. I'm done,
Speaker 1: I am smitten, I've fallen in love. You are the one.
Speaker 1: And that's how I felt about this ring that we
Speaker 1: found and in Yes, you were right, it's gold. And
Speaker 1: as soon as I saw it, and I was even
Speaker 1: reluctant to try it on, I probably wouldn't have even
Speaker 1: tried it on if you hadn't said hey, just take
Speaker 1: a look. And as soon as I did, it was over.
Speaker 1: It was done.
Speaker 2: It's interesting, I think, particularly with wedding stuff, people picture
Speaker 2: it in their heads, you know. And I learned wedding
Speaker 2: dress shopping actually because a good salesperson will say, hey,
Speaker 2: why don't we just try something on that's totally different
Speaker 2: from what you were thinking, just to see how it feels,
Speaker 2: and you put that dress on, and then I actually
Speaker 2: think oftentimes it's wait, this is the dress because it's funny.
Speaker 2: I don't know why we have this image. But then
Speaker 2: if someone just suggests something else and gets us outside
Speaker 2: of our comfort zone a little bit, you know, it's
Speaker 2: such an I think you it's such an important day
Speaker 2: that you can get a little set in your ways,
Speaker 2: in your mind.
Speaker 1: And do you think that oftentimes? In life? Sometimes dating,
Speaker 1: sometimes whatever it is, if you like something that you
Speaker 1: were pretty dead set on not liking. That says a
Speaker 1: lot like I was going into it not thinking I
Speaker 1: was going to like that, and then when you do,
Speaker 1: it's even a bigger emotion.
Speaker 2: It's a reminder to stay open. Right. It's like what
Speaker 2: I tell my friend my single friends with dating, they
Speaker 2: have this check mark licks list, and you know, I
Speaker 2: got to check all these boxes of things, and it's hey,
Speaker 2: stay open because the guy who doesn't fit any of
Speaker 2: those might be the perfect eye for you. And well
Speaker 2: you just mentioned I think it was also a lesson
Speaker 2: and yeah, just know thyself and how we react to things.
Speaker 2: But I found my ring. I think it was the
Speaker 2: first one I tried on. It was I saw it,
Speaker 2: I did. I did feel like, okay, that looks like me,
Speaker 2: but I had no idea what I wanted going in.
Speaker 2: It was the first one I tried on. I kind
Speaker 2: of started crying. But then the way I operate, you're
Speaker 2: very confident, you think I picked this, this is it.
Speaker 2: I love it. I had to go then try on
Speaker 2: maybe email thing twenty more rings so that I knew
Speaker 2: that in my head, I was comparing it to that
Speaker 2: first ring, and I knew that ring was the ring
Speaker 2: for me. So it's a process. Yeah, It's just like
Speaker 2: how when we started dating, I had to go date
Speaker 2: twenty more kidding funny.
Speaker 1: I was about to ask, is that what happened? And
Speaker 1: I immediately saw that ring on your finger and I
Speaker 1: knew that was the one. It was. There's just something
Speaker 1: about it. It's weird when they just things like that fit.
Speaker 1: It just looked right, it was beautiful. It was just
Speaker 1: I fell in love with it and I can't wait
Speaker 1: to put it on your finger.
Speaker 2: It was a beautiful day. It was so much fun,
Speaker 2: and I am I continue to kind of be pleasantly
Speaker 2: surprised by like everything feels easy. I don't want to
Speaker 2: jinx it. And then, you know, I don't know when
Speaker 2: you will. Maybe when you allow yourself to not push
Speaker 2: so much pressure on it, then it allows just the
Speaker 2: happiness to come in. Well.
Speaker 1: And I know there are hurdles ahead. I know we
Speaker 1: will trip and stumble. I know something's going to hit us.
Speaker 1: That'll be you know, whatever, there will be a little something.
Speaker 1: I feel like, knock on wood, that you and I
Speaker 1: will handle it well. I feel like you and I
Speaker 1: know the end goal, the endgame is that we have
Speaker 1: this amazing wedding and we're just together and we say
Speaker 1: I do and that that's the most important thing. So
Speaker 1: I think when that does come, I think you will.
Speaker 1: We will be good at picking each other up, dust
Speaker 1: each other off, and we're heading to the big picture.
Speaker 2: You gotta pivot, You got to move forward. Yeah, the
Speaker 2: most important quality in life adapting with change. I say
Speaker 2: this now, who knows how I feel if something goes
Speaker 2: really wrong. But the problem is if slash. When something
Speaker 2: goes wrong on your wedding day, and it's probably guaranteed
Speaker 2: to if you don't respond, well, then you've ruined the
Speaker 2: rest of your own wedding day and the only person
Speaker 2: you're hurting is yourself.
Speaker 1: I said something interesting to your brother. We were talking
Speaker 1: about the wedding, and he goes, I love this. I'm
Speaker 1: going to take that and steal it because you're brothers
Speaker 1: not married yet, and it's something you say a lot,
Speaker 1: and I repeat it. We were talking about who's going
Speaker 1: to be at the wedding. He was asking about, you know,
Speaker 1: who else is going to be there. It's very very small, intimate,
Speaker 1: and I said, I don't want to meet anybody on
Speaker 1: our wedding day, and he stopped me. He's like, what
Speaker 1: I said, I don't you know, Lauren, and I believe
Speaker 1: we don't want to be introduced to anybody on our
Speaker 1: wedding day, meaning we don't want strangers there. And he said,
Speaker 1: he you know, John, your brother was like, that is
Speaker 1: the most amazing quote. I'm taking that and I'm taking
Speaker 1: that to my own wedding someday. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's a novel thing, but I you know.
Speaker 2: Where I got that far from Wells's Wells Adams's brother's wife. Okay,
Speaker 2: Wells's sister in law. We were hanging out a golf thing.
Speaker 2: Wells's brother was caddying for him, and we were talking
Speaker 2: about weddings and Brett's wife said that they had the
Speaker 2: agreement they didn't want to meet anybody at their wedding,
Speaker 2: meaning Okay, yes, this person might be your childhood friend,
Speaker 2: but if I haven't met him five years into the
Speaker 2: relationship at this point, I mean.
Speaker 1: How good of a friend.
Speaker 2: Yes, so it is a good marker and I credit
Speaker 2: them for that.
Speaker 1: And we well, then that's who we've stolen it from.
Speaker 1: Now your brother's stealing it from us, and I think
Speaker 1: it is a great rule of thumb to take into
Speaker 1: your wedding. Of Hey, between the two of us, let's
Speaker 1: not meet somebody for the first time after we've just
Speaker 1: said I do at the most intimate moment of our lives.
Speaker 1: And so that was an interesting conversation with your brother
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about another interesting conversation you had with him.
Speaker 2: This is so funny, what a what family members will
Speaker 2: reveal when given the opportunity to be alone with your partner.
Speaker 2: Chris and my brother have never spent like, have never
Speaker 2: done a trip away together. And also a lesson in
Speaker 2: the trauma we inflict on our siblings. You told me
Speaker 2: this story that he told you, and I have zero
Speaker 2: recollection of this and it's so weird.
Speaker 1: So the Ziema family, there's two older sisters. There is Lauren,
Speaker 1: her sister Christina. Then there's the younger brother John. So
Speaker 1: he's the youngest of three two older sisters. That's a
Speaker 1: lot right there, I'm sure. Then he says, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: Christina and Lauren made me the weirdest food and they
Speaker 1: would make me eat it because we were having we
Speaker 1: were having lunch yesterday and I ordered a tuna fish
Speaker 1: sandwich and he goes, Oh, my god, I can't eat
Speaker 1: tuna fish. I said, why man, and he goes, because
Speaker 1: my sisters made me. You know, fruit roll ups, right,
Speaker 1: they said they put tuna fish in a fruit roll up,
Speaker 1: rolled it up. And then you said they put my
Speaker 1: mom's red sauce on it. I was like, what's that?
Speaker 1: He said, it was with spaghetti sauce, like spaghetti sauce.
Speaker 1: So you put tuna in a fruit roll up, put
Speaker 1: spaghetti sauce on it, made your brother eat it, and
Speaker 1: it made him sick. No shocker there. To this day,
Speaker 1: your brother cannot eat tuna fish because of what you
Speaker 1: did to him.
Speaker 2: I have never heard this from him. Let me take
Speaker 2: this moment to publicly apologize to him for the trauma.
Speaker 2: It is wild what we remember from our childhoods and
Speaker 2: other people don't. Of course, I look back on being
Speaker 2: his older sister, and I think all I did was protect.
Speaker 1: Him, imparted wisdom.
Speaker 2: I cooked for him, but never tuna in a fruit
Speaker 2: roll up. I babysat him. Wow.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, I want to stop you. You cooked for him, Well,
Speaker 1: maybe that was a step too far.
Speaker 2: I did. I mean, I mean mac and cheese. I
Speaker 2: remember I would make frozen chicken tenders, but you just
Speaker 2: put those in the oven at three point fifty.
Speaker 1: So we had a great week and it's it was
Speaker 1: a good step. And I think now we're going to
Speaker 1: hit the pause button again for a moment because we
Speaker 1: got stuff in your traveling, and then we'll get back
Speaker 1: into it.
Speaker 2: This roller coaster keeps on rolling up and down.
Speaker 1: But something I really wanted to talk about this week
Speaker 1: because we're kind of going through it somewhat. But it's
Speaker 1: something that everybody's going back to school and a lot
Speaker 1: of parents friends of ours have their kids going to college.
Speaker 1: We went through this last year. You've gone through this
Speaker 1: as a student sorority rush. Sorority recruitment is going on
Speaker 1: right now at a lot of schools, not all schools.
Speaker 1: Some do second semester, some do whatever, but the majority
Speaker 1: of schools going through rush right now. Our daughter Taylor
Speaker 1: is at TCU. She's now a sophomore. She's a theta,
Speaker 1: so she's on the other side of it. But we
Speaker 1: went through it last year. This is something that Lauren
Speaker 1: tried to prepare me for. I was not emotionally prepared.
Speaker 1: I had a son who went through a fraternity rush,
Speaker 1: not the same at all. It is the difference between
Speaker 1: I don't know, there's no difference, there's no comparison. So
Speaker 1: going through sorty rush and so we're living this now
Speaker 1: with a lot of parents, and it's really taken to
Speaker 1: the internet now because of TikTok. There's the girl from
Speaker 1: Alabama that's tiktoking, that's you know, kind.
Speaker 2: Of last year and then but that one woman's young
Speaker 2: woman started it last year. I don't know if now
Speaker 2: it's still going on here.
Speaker 1: There's a girl on TikTok. I read an article today
Speaker 1: about a girl that's going through it. She's like, I
Speaker 1: am miserable. It is so blessedly hot, I am exhausted.
Speaker 1: I haven't slept rush talk. Yeah, it's a lot. And
Speaker 1: so we are going through that with some of our
Speaker 1: friends that are now freshmen, and I just I feel
Speaker 1: for all of you parents out there.
Speaker 2: I think the hardest part about it. Tell me if
Speaker 2: I'm wrong, is that it's one of those situations where
Speaker 2: as a parent there's nothing you can do. You want
Speaker 2: your child to be accepted, to find friends, but you
Speaker 2: have no control in this situation, and your child is
Speaker 2: feeling rejected and feeling hurt and you can't, you can't
Speaker 2: really do anything.
Speaker 1: That's a good point because it's kind of the first time.
Speaker 1: You know, first of all, we're letting go for the
Speaker 1: first time from high school to college. So you're letting
Speaker 1: go as it is, and you're right into one of
Speaker 1: the worst positions a parent and kid.
Speaker 2: Right off the bat, Yeah, before the school's even started.
Speaker 2: And I've also because we have a few friends who
Speaker 2: their kids are going through this year, and so I'm
Speaker 2: just talking to the moms and counseling them and checking
Speaker 2: in on them, because again, you want this to be
Speaker 2: and I do believe. I mean my sorority sisters, who
Speaker 2: are the women I just went on my girls trip with.
Speaker 2: They are my dearest friends in the world eighteen years
Speaker 2: after I went through this recruitment thing myself, and so
Speaker 2: I believe in the process you are going to find friends.
Speaker 2: And it's such a great way to make a big
Speaker 2: school feel small and a great way for your daughter
Speaker 2: son to have activities and things going on and stay
Speaker 2: busy in a new environment. But no matter what, when
Speaker 2: you're going through recruitment and a house says they don't
Speaker 2: want you, it feels like rejection. And what I try
Speaker 2: to tell our friends about their daughters. Is it's like dating. Actually,
Speaker 2: it is like a relationship. It's like figuring it out.
Speaker 2: It's a mutual selection process. These girls who are in
Speaker 2: the house right now, they are trying to find other
Speaker 2: women who they know will vibe with them, are of
Speaker 2: that vibe. And so when they quote unquote you know,
Speaker 2: cut you reject you, it's really just them saying, hey,
Speaker 2: you're actually going to be a better fit in another house.
Speaker 2: All the best to you, but we're not the right match.
Speaker 2: And that's why it's a mutual selection process. But probably,
Speaker 2: just like dating, even if you know someone's not for you,
Speaker 2: if they dump you, it still doesn't feel good.
Speaker 1: One thing, I was not knowledgeable about it at all.
Speaker 1: You may know about this. Parents are spending thousands of
Speaker 1: dollars on recruitment coaches.
Speaker 2: I've heard about this. I've never seen it. I've never I've.
Speaker 1: Read about this Alabama situation.
Speaker 2: So I think it happens at more at the southern
Speaker 2: schools because I went to Missoo, which is more like
Speaker 2: a Midwest school.
Speaker 1: So we're talking old miss at Alabama.
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't call TCU, I wouldn't put tc in
Speaker 2: that category. I've never heard of it happening there, but
Speaker 2: maybe it is.
Speaker 1: But people, so what this is parents will pay or
Speaker 1: you know, kids or whatever. Somebody's paying hundreds, if not
Speaker 1: thousands of dollars to kind of put your resume together,
Speaker 1: be saying the right things there were there. They're coaching
Speaker 1: you up on when you get to campus, what to
Speaker 1: say in recruitment, how to.
Speaker 2: How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's I think it's a
Speaker 1: bridge too far. I know parents want to get involved.
Speaker 1: I know they want their kids to be happy, But
Speaker 1: I am a big believer in what you just said.
Speaker 1: Put yourself out there, be who you are. You will
Speaker 1: find your tribe, and I know we are tribal people.
Speaker 1: And you're wanting to belong and you don't know. You're
Speaker 1: seventeen eighteen maybe and you think you want to be
Speaker 1: a tried Delt or a Gamma PI or whatever. That
Speaker 1: may not be the right place for you. And you
Speaker 1: don't know you've only been there a week.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I've told again many other women this with
Speaker 2: their girls going through the opinion will change throughout the week.
Speaker 2: I remember when I went through day I mean I
Speaker 2: was the first person in my family to go to
Speaker 2: a four year university, obviously the first person to go Greek.
Speaker 2: So I had no idea what I was in for.
Speaker 2: And then day to day my opinions on the house
Speaker 2: is totally changed. You know, you feel differently in the
Speaker 2: middle of the week than he did at the beginning.
Speaker 2: By the end of the week, I actually the second
Speaker 2: to last day had been cut I think by everywhere
Speaker 2: accept data, and at that time I just felt so rejected.
Speaker 2: But I thought, well, I did like Theta. I hope
Speaker 2: it's right for me. And then I look back and think, well,
Speaker 2: all those other houses cut me because they thought this
Speaker 2: nerd by the Theta at my school was top and grades,
Speaker 2: this theater girl with her GPA is a Theta. Just
Speaker 2: go make her a Theta. That's what she needs to
Speaker 2: be all the best. So that's what it was.
Speaker 1: They can see that you don't.
Speaker 2: But I went through with I didn't have wreck letters,
Speaker 2: I didn't have anything, and I'm so glad because it
Speaker 2: was my way of just going in raw and finding
Speaker 2: my people. And I think when I hear that recruitment
Speaker 2: counselor thing, I think two things. One, I think, well,
Speaker 2: I'm going to judge parents for a second, but by
Speaker 2: this point, I feel like your kid, since they're going
Speaker 2: out into the world on their own, you should have
Speaker 2: kind of shown them how to speak to new people.
Speaker 2: They should be I'm not saying I was great at
Speaker 2: it at eighteen, but they should be able to carry
Speaker 2: on a conversation with a new person. And two, you
Speaker 2: might be setting them up for a situation that isn't
Speaker 2: right for them because of your own pride, because of
Speaker 2: your own fears. It reminds me kind of like the
Speaker 2: Varsity Blues thing.
Speaker 1: Handle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're you're they're faking their kids tests. Okay, well
Speaker 2: you just got your kid into a school. They're not
Speaker 2: going to be able to handle.
Speaker 1: Not everybody needs to go to Harvard, and Harvard's not
Speaker 1: for everybody. You're not going to feel comfortable there, usc
Speaker 1: you name it. I agree, and stories are the same way.
Speaker 1: And we went through this with with our daughter Taylor.
Speaker 1: She got cut by somebody she thought she loved and
Speaker 1: she was pretty devastated. She was a thet girl like same.
Speaker 2: Kind of sty At the end of the week, she
Speaker 2: was totally happy and everybody It's another roller coaster for
Speaker 2: any parents with their kids. Going through recruitment. It is
Speaker 2: that is a roller coaster. You have all my love.
Speaker 2: I wish I could send you a shot of tequila.
Speaker 1: Babe. What I wasn't prepared for? And Lauren tried to
Speaker 1: prepare me for this. I was not prepared. I had
Speaker 1: gone through this with my son. You know, if you
Speaker 1: have a frat boy, you don't you know what it is.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's the difference of and dare I use a
Speaker 2: sports analogy?
Speaker 1: Oh, this is good.
Speaker 2: It's the difference of like a pickup game of backyard
Speaker 2: football versus you're trying to go and train and get
Speaker 2: in the NFL.
Speaker 1: Babe. You just crushed that on every level. Yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: a pickup game, who cares? It's all good. You're playing.
Speaker 1: That's playing with your buddies. Hey, Lauren, you want to play? Sure? Cool?
Speaker 1: And you know then you flip to dedicating your whole life.
Speaker 1: There is a script, there's a plan, there's rules you
Speaker 1: cannot break. You're right. That is a wow. Can somebody
Speaker 1: mark this down in the in the history books.
Speaker 2: I think we will get married. I think we can.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just fell in love all over again.
Speaker 2: I and another milestone. I was just sitting here soaking,
Speaker 2: and I might play back and listen to you saying
Speaker 2: that I was right and you were wrong. This is
Speaker 2: a great moment.
Speaker 1: They should have listened to me. Dare I say that
Speaker 1: was a home run of a sports analogy?
Speaker 2: Eh, you lost me.
Speaker 1: Fraternity recruitment is nothing. It is a point one on
Speaker 1: the Richter scale compared to what I was going through
Speaker 1: with my daughter, which I was not emotionally prepared for.
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's fine, she's going to go through it,
Speaker 1: She'll find her people. Oh my god. I had anxiety.
Speaker 1: I wasn't sleeping. I was like leaning on Lauren, tell
Speaker 1: me it's going to be okay. How come nobody prepared
Speaker 1: me for this? What the hell? And I know a
Speaker 1: lot of parents are going through that, especially if it's
Speaker 1: your first kid going to school, because if you didn't
Speaker 1: have that experience and it's your first kid, you have
Speaker 1: no idea. So you haven't prepared your kid for this
Speaker 1: because they don't know. You don't know. It is like
Speaker 1: being shot out of a cannon. And we have some
Speaker 1: friends who are going through that, and you are amazing.
Speaker 1: I want to toot your horn because Lauren every day
Speaker 1: gets up. I see the group tech messages go out
Speaker 1: checking on their daughters. How are you guys doing? How
Speaker 1: can I help you? What can I explain to you?
Speaker 1: Because these parents, I know, it's their hair is on fire.
Speaker 1: They have no idea what's going on, and they just
Speaker 1: are gut wrenched.
Speaker 2: Well, it's hard. Again, what is the strongest thing in
Speaker 2: the world of parents love for their child? So if
Speaker 2: you're unfamiliar, like we have one friend who she was
Speaker 2: in a sorority herself, she had an older daughter go
Speaker 2: through so she's a bit more familiar. Then we have
Speaker 2: another friend who is not in a sorority, and this
Speaker 2: is her first child going to college. And I can
Speaker 2: tell she's rightfully, you know, getting maybe a little defensive,
Speaker 2: like no, how could this is like like you almost
Speaker 2: get a little mad at the process. And I try
Speaker 2: to encourage people again, try to see it differently. It's
Speaker 2: a mutual selection thing. It's like speed dating, you know,
Speaker 2: and you can't get upset just because someone might not
Speaker 2: be into you. The next person's coming right down the pipeline.
Speaker 2: But in this case, these are sorority houses. And I
Speaker 2: just believe in it's so much because that's such a
Speaker 2: major part of what people can get out of college.
Speaker 2: You know, I remember reading not long ago that, especially
Speaker 2: with just how much information is out there now and
Speaker 2: how much college costs. Of course people are questioning is
Speaker 2: college really worth it? And it might not be worth
Speaker 2: the value for everybody, but there is I think a
Speaker 2: lot of people send their kids to college for the experience.
Speaker 2: Now it's a growth moment.
Speaker 1: It is a growth moment, and I think expanding on
Speaker 1: something you were saying, because your mom was a tried
Speaker 1: out at Old miss does not mean you should be
Speaker 1: a tried out at TCU. You know, even at the
Speaker 1: same school. From year to year, these chapters change so much,
Speaker 1: the personality changes. So I think letting go of some
Speaker 1: of that because oh my mom was this, I need
Speaker 1: to really love this, that's not necessarily the case. Find
Speaker 1: your people, and that's what you should want for all
Speaker 1: of your kids, is go let them find their people
Speaker 1: they feel comfortable with that will love them and they'll
Speaker 1: feel part of that community. It's huge. Obviously. Something else
Speaker 1: on social media, the dances have re emerged, the sorority
Speaker 1: dances on TikTok and Instagram.
Speaker 2: Of the chanting.
Speaker 1: The chanting yes, oh yeah, but now it's the dancing right,
Speaker 1: you have the four or five girls upfront that do
Speaker 1: the dance and everyone in the back. It's really funny.
Speaker 2: It blows my mind when I think about all that
Speaker 2: these kids deal with with social media being a part
Speaker 2: of it, because now they sort of present their sorority
Speaker 2: for a full week on social media before the new
Speaker 2: potential members even get there, and they have themes and dances,
Speaker 2: and I mean it is the effort is immense.
Speaker 1: When I went to I took Joshua back to TCU.
Speaker 1: He's a senior, so he's not really involved in rush
Speaker 1: and all that, and so our daughter is and she's
Speaker 1: in the middle of it, and so I was able
Speaker 1: to see her for lunch. She was, you know, sick already,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of had a cold. She hasn't slept,
Speaker 1: She's going through work week trying to do all this
Speaker 1: sorority stuff. And I'm like, man, she because even on
Speaker 1: the other side of it's a lot.
Speaker 2: But as you know, maybe they don't know it now,
Speaker 2: but I look back at those moments. The best moments
Speaker 2: with my friends were the overtired, slap happy, We're exhausted,
Speaker 2: but we're in this together, and those moments make friendships.
Speaker 1: What's funny and again you don't know what you don't know?
Speaker 1: And I told her, I said, this is you know,
Speaker 1: this is good for you. It's good to see, like
Speaker 1: what it's like to work NonStop. And it was really
Speaker 1: funny that she's like, you know, good training for what.
Speaker 1: I said, Well, what you're going through. Now, I know
Speaker 1: you think this is working hard. It's not. This is
Speaker 1: not this is not grinding it out.
Speaker 2: And you know, grinding it out is when you're working.
Speaker 2: You know, your first job and you can never leave
Speaker 2: the office, and then you have your first kid, and yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you remember any of your chants or any of
Speaker 1: your things? Of course, can you give us one? No,
Speaker 1: this is no.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 1: Our producer. Kendall put me up to that. We tried, Kendall,
Speaker 1: we tried.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think anybody wants to hear it.
Speaker 2: But more so, it's okay.
Speaker 1: That's okay, we'll pass.
Speaker 2: Now, I'll do it. I'll do it. Let's set it out.
Speaker 2: The mistake I'm gonna say, I cannot give you these
Speaker 2: secret ones. Okay, oh yes, but I will give you.
Speaker 2: Let's see how much I remember of this. She's got
Speaker 2: one star, two stars, two twin stars. She's a Theta
Speaker 2: to the bone. When you see that girl walking down
Speaker 2: the streets, you better leave that gall alone. She's got
Speaker 2: eyes like sapphire's, teeth like pearls. Gosh o gee. She's
Speaker 2: a Theta girl. She's got one star, two star, two
Speaker 2: twin stars. She's a Theta to the bone.
Speaker 1: Amazing.
Speaker 2: I could keep going, and so remember all of it.
Speaker 1: Kendall just typed yes, exclamation point, excavation point. Well done, Kendall.
Speaker 1: I mean you have a great voice, by the way,
Speaker 1: and I've heard you sing before. You have a great
Speaker 1: singing voice.
Speaker 2: I mean, no, thank you for saying that, but you
Speaker 2: don't really think it. You're just being nice. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: actually scary. How much of that I remember? You know?
Speaker 1: I remember there's things all of them, Like I can
Speaker 1: recite the Greek alphabet unbelievably fast. They do that alphabet,
Speaker 1: get alphabeta, gambadel to eppslon ata a to a to iota, caapalama,
Speaker 1: moon news iomacron, piratement, tell hoops on like I say, omega, sir,
Speaker 1: I notice the cert at the end, to see it
Speaker 1: three times before the match, burn their fingers or you
Speaker 1: got in trouble the things that come back to us.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Uh, the point being for all of this,
Speaker 1: for all the parents whose kids are you know, especially
Speaker 1: your daughters going through sorority rush. Right now, you're not sleeping,
Speaker 1: your daughter might be crying. You're talking them off a ledge. Lauren,
Speaker 1: and I feel for you, especially Lauren feels for you.
Speaker 1: She has been there, she knows it. We send you
Speaker 1: our love, have grace, have compassion, and just know, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, they're in college, they're winning,
Speaker 1: They're going to be great. They're no matter what they're
Speaker 1: going to do, just fine. They're going to have an
Speaker 1: amazing life, they're getting a higher education. It's all good.
Speaker 2: Well, you got them there, right. My mom would say
Speaker 2: when I remember when my dropped us off at college,
Speaker 2: She's like, Okay, I did my job. I got you
Speaker 2: to college. Of course, then I think she realized later
Speaker 2: a parent's job is never over. But I do. I
Speaker 2: think it's such a fun, exciting time for them. And
Speaker 2: I don't know if you have any big advice overall,
Speaker 2: but I just always try to encourage. I tried to
Speaker 2: with my siblings and now I do with your kids,
Speaker 2: to say yes to things. You know, go out, don't
Speaker 2: sit on your couch in your dorm room. Nothing's going
Speaker 2: to happen there. Say hi to people you don't know,
Speaker 2: join in on things because this is a time to
Speaker 2: experience so much that it helps you find out who
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I completely agree, and just drink it all in.
Speaker 1: This is the best time and mean like alcohol. I know,
Speaker 1: I don't mean it. I was a figure of speech,
Speaker 1: but yeah, just really enjoy every ounce of it. It
Speaker 1: is such a phenomenal time. Safe travels to you this week.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going to happen. We're going to
Speaker 1: be a part for a week, but have an amazing
Speaker 1: week and I can't wait to let everybody in on
Speaker 1: what that's going to be like. And thank you all
Speaker 1: for joining us, Thank you for diving in, and again
Speaker 1: for all your kids off to school, all the kids
Speaker 1: there at Sorority Rush. We wish you all the very best,
Speaker 1: and we will talk to you next time because we
Speaker 1: got a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever
Speaker 1: and make sure to write us a review and leave
Speaker 1: us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.