WEBVTT - How to be gentle on yourself

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is that tracking your time can help you see

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<v Speaker 1>how much you have going on. That can then help

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<v Speaker 1>you be gentler on yourself about days when you may

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<v Speaker 1>not get as much done as you'd like. As longtime

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<v Speaker 1>listeners know, I am a passionate advocate of tracking your time.

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<v Speaker 1>If you want to spend your time better, it helps

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<v Speaker 1>to have good data. After all, if you don't know

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<v Speaker 1>where the time is going now, how do you know

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<v Speaker 1>if you're changing the right thing? The truth sets us free,

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<v Speaker 1>and we want to make sure the stories we tell

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves about our lives are true. But as my Best

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<v Speaker 1>of Both Worlds co-host Sarah Hart Unger recently pointed out,

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<v Speaker 1>there is another potential benefit. Time tracking might make you

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<v Speaker 1>more self-compassionate, she said. Sarah tracks her time periodically. In

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<v Speaker 1>reviewing her time logs a few months ago, she got

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<v Speaker 1>a new perspective on days when she hadn't accomplished quite

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<v Speaker 1>as much as she hoped to. She wrote, tracking time

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<v Speaker 1>has helped me to see that on many such days,

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<v Speaker 1>this has nothing to do with personal failure or even self-discipline.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just math. I love the insight, it's just math.

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<v Speaker 1>If you spend nine hours at work, two hours in

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<v Speaker 1>the car, two hours taking care of small children, 45

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<v Speaker 1>minutes on showering and brushing your teeth and eating, and

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<v Speaker 1>an hour at the dentist's office, there's just not that

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<v Speaker 1>much time for anything else that day. Consequently, you can

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<v Speaker 1>be gentler with yourself. about why you didn't go to

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<v Speaker 1>the gym for an hour on that particular day as well.

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<v Speaker 1>On a day with limited discretionary time, you are not

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<v Speaker 1>going to make it to both the dentist and the gym.

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<v Speaker 1>It is most likely one or the other. And that

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<v Speaker 1>is okay. Because one day isn't all there is. In general,

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<v Speaker 1>I have found that when people track their time for

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<v Speaker 1>a week, they feel better about their time. In many cases,

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<v Speaker 1>I think that self-compassion is part of this, and it

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<v Speaker 1>stems from looking at time more holistically. People might be

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<v Speaker 1>telling themselves a story that we never eat as a family.

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<v Speaker 1>That's because it doesn't happen daily at 6 p.m. But

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<v Speaker 1>a time log might show that your family is eating

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<v Speaker 1>pizza together on Friday nights and a meal together Sunday evening.

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<v Speaker 1>Twice a week is not never. It is a lot

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<v Speaker 1>more than never. You can be gentler on yourself when

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<v Speaker 1>you see that something is a lot better than nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>I will also note that self-compassion and strategy can work together.

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<v Speaker 1>You can be gentle with yourself about not getting to

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<v Speaker 1>the gym daily, and a time log might show that

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<v Speaker 1>if you put the kids on the bus two mornings

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<v Speaker 1>a week instead of driving them to school, you might

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<v Speaker 1>open up another 20 minutes for exercising at home. These

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<v Speaker 1>things are usually not either-or. But some days are also

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<v Speaker 1>just full. When that is the case, a time log

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<v Speaker 1>will show that and will allow you to make your

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<v Speaker 1>peace with it. There is no point berating yourself for

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<v Speaker 1>not doing something that simply doesn't fit. The math is

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<v Speaker 1>the math. And you can look at the things that

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<v Speaker 1>did happen that week and be happy about those. In

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening. And here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening

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<v Speaker 1>to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

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<v Speaker 1>you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com. Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeart Media,

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<v Speaker 1>please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows.