Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Hey Dave Saren Burnett. Yeah, man, I got a note
Speaker 2: here at a headquarters from Elizabeth. It says she's out
Speaker 2: this week. She was apparently called into duty last minute
Speaker 2: something for her secret society. But that's all I know
Speaker 2: about it. So anyway, I guess it's just you and
Speaker 2: me this week. You down, I'm down. Yeah, let's do this.
Speaker 2: I figure we got we got this one right. So
Speaker 2: I gotta ask you, do you know what's ridiculous? What
Speaker 2: is it?
Speaker 3: Why are you putting your hand out? I mean I
Speaker 3: might know what's ridiculous?
Speaker 2: Wait? Is this like the old shoeshine bit where I
Speaker 2: gotta give you, like like a Hamilton a Jackson.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm saying Alexander Hamilton might know what's ridiculous?
Speaker 2: All right, I got a Jackson on it. How about
Speaker 2: does Jackson loosen those lips?
Speaker 3: He might know a little bit. I don't know if
Speaker 3: you really know.
Speaker 2: How about a Franklin Franklin loosened them lips?
Speaker 3: Absolutely Franklin knows what's ridiculous? All right, Franklin does it?
Speaker 3: Thank you? Okay, Here's what's ridiculous, lad on man Cold dogs,
Speaker 3: Like have you ever seen a dog coming out of
Speaker 3: the of a lake and it's freezing out and it's
Speaker 3: just like dripping with water and it just it looks
Speaker 3: so sad and it deflated.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, saddest sight there is. I thought you meant
Speaker 2: like the opposite of hot dogs, like there's a new food.
Speaker 2: Because I'm so trained with Elizabeth mashups, I'm like looking
Speaker 2: for the mashup. So no, Dave, what is about a
Speaker 2: cold dog that you find so ridiculous other than the fact, yes,
Speaker 2: they look so sad.
Speaker 3: Well, it's funny you would say that. I mean, because
Speaker 3: those are ridiculous. But another kind of cold dog that's ridiculous.
Speaker 3: Uh huh is the Oscar Meyer cold dog.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you did it.
Speaker 3: The oscar Mere cold dog is a hot dog flavored
Speaker 3: frozen pop and.
Speaker 2: Uh huh, I'm listening. Oh I'm listening.
Speaker 3: It visibly resembles a hot dog topped with mustard and
Speaker 3: has quote smoky umami notes of Oscar Meyer's iconic wiener.
Speaker 2: I can't believe you can I believe you did this
Speaker 2: to me?
Speaker 3: Listen? What can I say?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: I really need to embody the roll. I felt like
Speaker 3: it wouldn't be the same if I didn't give you
Speaker 3: back the energy that you expect.
Speaker 2: Yes, no, I see you see me, I saw I
Speaker 2: was expecting it. I was looking for it, and I
Speaker 2: still didn't see it coming. Damn.
Speaker 3: So we can skip through the rest. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: This came out a year ago. They made these pop shops.
Speaker 3: You could pop up and get them. You can't get
Speaker 3: them anymore. Sorry, rude dudes. But if you have, if
Speaker 3: anyone out there has tried this hot dog flavored popsicle,
Speaker 3: the Colt Dog, let us know, send us a talk back,
Speaker 3: send us an email.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let them know anyway. Yes, that is ridiculous. You
Speaker 2: got me on that one. I got a hand it
Speaker 2: to you. I got one for you. You got a second.
Speaker 3: Sure, ain't doing nothing else?
Speaker 2: Hey, okay, So how about a crimer who pretends to
Speaker 2: be Pablo Escobar flies to Russia and successfully negotiates by
Speaker 2: a Soviet era nuclear missile submarine. Wow, Dave, that's just
Speaker 2: the tip of this weird iceberg of underwater crime. Today,
Speaker 2: I want to talk about something called Narco subs.
Speaker 4: Yes, this is Ridiculous Crime, A podcast about absurd and
Speaker 4: outrageous capers heis and cons it's always ninety nine percent
Speaker 4: murder free and.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent ridiculous. What he said is true, David,
Speaker 2: to set the stage for us today. First up, I
Speaker 2: want to dive into see the pun underwater semi organized crime.
Speaker 3: I see you, I see you.
Speaker 2: All right, we'll get into the cartels in the international
Speaker 2: mafia in a moment, But first, an American crimer with
Speaker 2: a plan. I'd like you to meet. Matthew Piercy. The
Speaker 2: forty four year old was a good family man, a
Speaker 2: church going citizen of Redding, California. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you know where that is. It's just north of my
Speaker 2: old hometown, frank By a couple hours central Valley, but
Speaker 2: north side, like on your way to humbold got it, Okay,
Speaker 2: It's a big into the railroad area, so I got
Speaker 2: a turnaround for a lot of railroads. So anyway, dude,
Speaker 2: Matthew Piercy big in finance. He had a company called
Speaker 2: Family Wealth Legacy, another one called Zola Financial. None of
Speaker 2: that really matters, but that's where he got busy with
Speaker 2: criminal schemes involving wirefraud, mail fraud, and money laundering, a
Speaker 2: classic trifecta anyway. According to the FBI, quote Matthew Pearce,
Speaker 2: he raised at lease approximately thirty five million dollars from
Speaker 2: investors through Family Wealth Legacy, Zola and Funds routed through
Speaker 2: Company three, and paid approximately eight point eight million two investors.
Speaker 2: Of the remaining net investment of approximately twenty six million,
Speaker 2: few if any liquid assets remained to repay investors. In
Speaker 2: other words, this dude conned people out of thirty five
Speaker 2: million dollars. He spent eight point eight million to keep
Speaker 2: the long con Ponzi scheme going, then ultimately liquidated twenty
Speaker 2: six million for himself and his criminal confederates. This is
Speaker 2: all before the FBI caught wind of him. Now that
Speaker 2: bad for a day's work, right, seriously? Now, this guy
Speaker 2: primarily worked over the community. He was a member of
Speaker 2: Never Smart, but that was his choice. He was a
Speaker 2: conning conservative Christian Californians and their families. He had a
Speaker 2: partner in his Ponzi scheme. Of course, he needed somebody
Speaker 2: like this, a sixty seven year old evangelist named Ken Winton.
Speaker 2: On his Facebook page, Winton, he calls himself quote a
Speaker 2: god lover that's with capital G capital l like it's
Speaker 2: a job title.
Speaker 3: What do you do for a living time? The back
Speaker 3: of it, it's like the back of a denim jacket exactly.
Speaker 2: You can see you like on this Yeah, totally big
Speaker 2: patch God lover anyway. Winton he liked to offer up
Speaker 2: empty platitudes about the importance of keeping God in one's life.
Speaker 2: For instance, he once posted on Facebook, God has been
Speaker 2: in the process of reconciling with humanity ever since Adam fell.
Speaker 2: Jesus was never God's Plan B. Now I don't know
Speaker 2: about all that, but I do know like God, Ken
Speaker 2: Winton's Plan B wasn't Jesus either. It wasn't even his
Speaker 2: Plan A. His Plan A was of course crime in
Speaker 2: the name of Jesus. So he got to it, and
Speaker 2: obviously he had Matthew Pearcy with him. The two of them,
Speaker 2: they start working over all these eager believers. They conned
Speaker 2: them to the tune of tens of millions of dollars. Now,
Speaker 2: Ken Winton and Matthew Piercy, they would have gotten away
Speaker 2: with it, David, if it weren't for those pesky agents
Speaker 2: of the FBI. You see, starting back in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 2: FBI agents they began sniffing around Piercy and Winton's Ponzi scheme.
Speaker 2: They began to interview some witnesses, who then let the
Speaker 2: purpose know that FBI agents were asking them questions that
Speaker 2: made them nervous. Now, Piercy, he routed three million dollars
Speaker 2: to a friend's medical business that was the business three
Speaker 2: so the FBI could not seize all of his assets.
Speaker 2: So now that he's secreted away three million dollars, he's
Speaker 2: got his like bug out money. So by twenty twenty
Speaker 2: grand jury subpoenas they go out to the investors in
Speaker 2: Pierc and Winton's businesses. This leads to way more questions,
Speaker 2: pointed questions, the kind of questions that are difficult to
Speaker 2: easily answer. So what does Pierc do next? Well, He's like, well,
Speaker 2: looks like I'm gonna have to get on the old
Speaker 2: email machine. Deck clack clack, clack, clack clack. He starts
Speaker 2: sending out emails to investors to call many of their concerns.
Speaker 2: And the emails, Dave, they said that he was in
Speaker 2: touch with President Trump and that everything was fine. Because
Speaker 2: you know that's a play.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've tried that before. It didn't really work out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got so I got the President on the
Speaker 2: red line, We're we're good, don't worry people. So he
Speaker 2: asked all the investors to reach out to President Trump
Speaker 2: and to you know, let him know that they also
Speaker 2: wanted him to make everything right because you see, there
Speaker 2: was nothing to worry about, because it was all part
Speaker 2: of a bigger plan. Now I have a highlight from
Speaker 2: the email that he sent out to investors, and I
Speaker 2: quote back in January, I compiled some unique perspective research
Speaker 2: about bank safety. The Federal Reserve Board asked the question,
Speaker 2: well would happened to banks if there was a global
Speaker 2: shock event. The unfortunate reality of the recent global financial
Speaker 2: shock has poured rocket fuel on the urgency of this
Speaker 2: critical situation. The only way out is for banks to
Speaker 2: open Zola accounts and stop the bleeding. I've already sent
Speaker 2: this letter to President Trump, and I would encourage you
Speaker 2: to send this to President Trump as well. Here at
Speaker 2: white House dot gov backslash contact Feel free to copy
Speaker 2: paste or drop it in the email. Now, in light
Speaker 2: of our emboldened focus to rescue the banking system, be
Speaker 2: advised I anticipate potential new levels of regulatory scrutiny. If
Speaker 2: you have any connections or contact with government workers, please
Speaker 2: let me know this.
Speaker 3: This kind of reminds me of so I at one
Speaker 3: point set up an email address that was an uninvolved
Speaker 3: third party at gmail dot com. I think I still
Speaker 3: have it. That's great, And I encourage people, like, if
Speaker 3: you have something going on at work and you know
Speaker 3: you want to get someone to step in and help,
Speaker 3: just just copy me, put me in the CC line
Speaker 3: and and I'll jump in and adjudicate for you. And
Speaker 3: I didn't get any takers, but root, dudes, that's still
Speaker 3: available at the service.
Speaker 2: To you to offer the service, you will adjudicate.
Speaker 3: Yes, hit me up. I mean the same way this
Speaker 3: guy used President Trump.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let producer Dave be your President Trump. That's what
Speaker 2: we're saying. Well, now, out of all that stuff in
Speaker 2: the email, this line was my favorite, the last line.
Speaker 2: If you have any connections or contact with government workers,
Speaker 2: please let me know. Like I'm imagining, like people are
Speaker 2: writing back that they have a cousin who works at
Speaker 2: BLM or coming at the Department of Interior. I mean, like,
Speaker 2: what is that going to do anyway? Four days later,
Speaker 2: to further calm down his now panicky and suspicious investors, Piercy.
Speaker 2: He's signed the impact of COVID and the promise of
Speaker 2: a radical executive order by President Trump that was yet
Speaker 2: to be issued, and I quote, as you may recall,
Speaker 2: my firm has been a vocal proponent of an executive
Speaker 2: order from the office of President Donald Trump that would
Speaker 2: compel the big banks to open institutional accounts that offer
Speaker 2: great yield and liquidity. We take the strong and unapologetic
Speaker 2: stance that the COVID nineteen related bank losses can be
Speaker 2: corrected and remedied by this common sense approach, which will
Speaker 2: provide greater liquidity and yield than what the banks are
Speaker 2: currently doing. One of the reasons you received a subpoena
Speaker 2: spelled incorrectly might be because of our firm's bold position
Speaker 2: and philosophy. We do not know why the government shows
Speaker 2: the timing of this COVID nineteen pandemic to add this
Speaker 2: stress of the subpoena to your life. Like what, oh
Speaker 2: my god. He's like, yeah, it's COVID nineteen. We're on
Speaker 2: the line of President Trump. I mean, I don't know
Speaker 2: what's going on. It's these big banks, they're the problem.
Speaker 2: We're trying to get to the bottom of this this
Speaker 2: reason like qan non financial, and.
Speaker 3: It's like sure, because sometimes you get unanticipated subpoenas all
Speaker 3: the time. I'm like, you're mowing your lawn totally. All
Speaker 3: of a sudden your email dings and it's something from
Speaker 3: the Department of Justice.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what, I'm not subpoena exactly. You know how
Speaker 2: many subpoenas I got this last week. I actually have
Speaker 2: like a circular file just from all my subpoenas. Now
Speaker 2: the gist of his pitch to his marks, I'm sorry investors,
Speaker 2: was that twenty twenty progressed? You remember it? It just
Speaker 2: kept getting weirder and weirder, and it got more grim
Speaker 2: and more dire. And by all that, I mean for
Speaker 2: these investors in their money. But November comes around, FBI,
Speaker 2: the Justice Department, They're ready to pounce. They're ready to
Speaker 2: stop the financial bleeding. However, Piercy was also ready for
Speaker 2: the FBI. So, according to the FBI's arrest complaint quote,
Speaker 2: when FBI agents attempted to arrest Piercy in Reading this morning,
Speaker 2: he fled by car. First, he led law enforcement on
Speaker 2: a vehicle chase that went off road twice in residential neighborhoods,
Speaker 2: including next to an apartment complex, and then later onto
Speaker 2: Interstate five northbound. Law enforcement tracked Peercy's vehicle from the
Speaker 2: air during the chase. Then Piercy abandoned his truck near
Speaker 2: the edge of Lake Shasta, pulled something out of it.
Speaker 2: Nowday him going to pause for a second. What do
Speaker 2: you think he pulled out of his truck? I mean
Speaker 2: a AK forty seven. It's a good guess it is America.
Speaker 2: But no, in this case, he went full on poor
Speaker 2: Man's James Bond. He pulled out his own personal submarine
Speaker 2: submersible device. What yes, reading rural people, I thought I
Speaker 2: told you about this up Central Valley. They just have
Speaker 2: trucks and you know, personal submersible devices for Lake Shasta.
Speaker 2: So he runs into Lake Shasta and he tempts to
Speaker 2: disappear under the water surface with his poor man James Bond.
Speaker 2: Now back to the FBI, I rest complaint pierced.
Speaker 3: Wait wait wait wait wait wait what are they using
Speaker 3: personal submersible devices for other than escaping the cops?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 2: Who like criminals? Are the cops? Or who are we
Speaker 2: talking about?
Speaker 3: The week this region of the country, in the Lake
Speaker 3: Shasta boah.
Speaker 2: I just mean, you know, coming from these areas, this
Speaker 2: is the land of like you know, seedews and jet
Speaker 2: skis and people just having random boats on small lakes.
Speaker 2: What do I mean is you'll just be surprised what
Speaker 2: your friends may have in their garage. You're like, oh,
Speaker 2: you have your own submersible device. Of course you do.
Speaker 3: Why not? Fair enough fall, But I'm imagining he's got it.
Speaker 3: It's like a suitcase. Yeah, is like pull it out,
Speaker 3: press a button and it turns into a submarine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like an Iron Man device. It just springs out. Now,
Speaker 2: Like I had friends who had four wheel golf carts, Like,
Speaker 2: why do you need a four wheel golf cart that
Speaker 2: sprayed camouflage?
Speaker 3: Because David seeing in rural Rhode Island, I mean, we've
Speaker 3: got you know, coastline and lakes. I just it was
Speaker 3: just a lot of Skiffs's a lot of skiffs, a
Speaker 3: lot of john boats.
Speaker 2: As you say, yeah, you know we had john boats
Speaker 2: and that's usually for fishing. But if you're like, you know,
Speaker 2: a young man or a you know, criminal on the run,
Speaker 2: you always want to have like a seedoo, a jet ski,
Speaker 2: or you know, a personal submersible device. So anyway, back
Speaker 2: to the FBI rest complaint quote, Piercy spent some time
Speaker 2: out of sight underwater. So this is like his escape
Speaker 2: plane is working, he slips under the water surface, and
Speaker 2: he's down there for some time out of sight underwater.
Speaker 2: How long was some time, David try?
Speaker 3: I think it had like it like it came with
Speaker 3: a straw and so like it was just a really
Speaker 3: long straw and some bubbles or coming up at the top.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got like a snorkel, but the snorkels made
Speaker 2: out of bamboo because he didn't afford the good rubber one.
Speaker 2: So dude's down there for twenty five minutes. Now, you see,
Speaker 2: he had not made a perfect escape, because Piercy was
Speaker 2: bedeviled by the nature of the human need for oxygen.
Speaker 2: Not only did it limit his range of his escape,
Speaker 2: but it also left a trail for the authorities to follow. See,
Speaker 2: while Piercey was zooming along underwater with his personal submersible device,
Speaker 2: according to the FBI quote, law enforcement could see bubbles.
Speaker 2: So they just follow this bubble track right across Lake Shasta,
Speaker 2: and the cops and the Feds they watched their putterer's
Speaker 2: way across the lake and then they wait for this
Speaker 2: dufist to surface, and when he eventually surfaces on the
Speaker 2: other side, he walks out of Lake Shasta and they're
Speaker 2: just waiting for him, and he walks right into the
Speaker 2: waiting arms of law enforcement. Now, Dave, you're you're curious,
Speaker 2: like Elizabeth, you may be wondering, what's this cat's personal
Speaker 2: submarine look like?
Speaker 3: You know, like Sar Jared, what's this cat's personal submarine
Speaker 3: look like?
Speaker 2: Great question, Dave. Well, for one, it wasn't a sleek too.
Speaker 2: Remember I said earlier this it was a yeah, he
Speaker 2: pulled a poor man's James Bond. Well, this is what
Speaker 2: he used. The Yama three point fifty l I underwater
Speaker 2: submersible device, which looks.
Speaker 3: Like this, oh like at Kawasaki Ninja.
Speaker 2: Basically it's a joke. It looks like a lawn mower
Speaker 2: or like a lawn blower, but you took the big
Speaker 2: front tube off and you're just gonna push air like.
Speaker 2: I don't even know how this thing. I mean, yes,
Speaker 2: it creates some thrust and then you there's two handles
Speaker 2: on the side and you hold onto it and it
Speaker 2: pulls you forward in the water. Now, when I say
Speaker 2: pulls you. It's like at four miles an hour.
Speaker 3: So it's like that that that hovercraft that's in the
Speaker 3: back of comic book magazines where you got to add
Speaker 3: the vacuum cleaner. Yeah, and it just like exits on
Speaker 3: top of the vacuum cleaner. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But technically this is considered a sea scooter. Now, I
Speaker 2: didn't call it a sea scooter because that's misleading. There's
Speaker 2: no seat, like I think sea scooter. I'm thinking there's
Speaker 2: a seat. But apparently sea scooters aka diver propulsion vehicles
Speaker 2: are designed to be used underwater as a navigation device.
Speaker 2: They can pull a person around right, so ideally the
Speaker 2: person is wearing scuba gear and is out of fitted
Speaker 2: with breathing apparatus so they can stand water and they
Speaker 2: don't leave a trail of bubbles. Well, the sea scooter
Speaker 2: it had first word into popular imagination and the underwater
Speaker 2: battle scene and the James bondflick Thunderball from nineteen sixty five.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if you remember it, but there's this
Speaker 2: whole underwater battle scene that's the first time people see it.
Speaker 2: They go, oh my God, that's so cool. Criminals same thing.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh my God, that's so cool. They also
Speaker 2: another group that liked it, militaries around the world. They
Speaker 2: often have these that they used. Right, So Piercy's plan
Speaker 2: is to be like the military, but he's like, I'm
Speaker 2: a criminals, so I'm gonna do it my way. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna zip away from the FBI, aided by my underwater
Speaker 2: sea scooter going three point seven miles per hour. Anyway,
Speaker 2: he gets out of the lake and his by the
Speaker 2: way he went into the lake and street clothes. So
Speaker 2: he gets out in his wet levis and he's standing
Speaker 2: there and the CHP and the FBI agents. They're like, hey,
Speaker 2: your wife sent some dry clothes. Would you like to
Speaker 2: put these on. He's like, thank you, guys. She's so thoughtful.
Speaker 2: And then they like took them over to the EMTs
Speaker 2: and they checked his vitals. He was cleared, deemed meadically fine.
Speaker 2: They rush them down the hill to Sacramento. They're like, okay,
Speaker 2: we're gonna take you down the FBI local field office.
Speaker 2: He's like okay. Now he gets formally arrested, and now
Speaker 2: the dude is facing twenty years in federal prison. That's
Speaker 2: how much money he was stealing.
Speaker 3: So this was got a theory. Hold on, I've got
Speaker 3: a theory ast to how they really caught him. How
Speaker 3: it wasn't the trail of bubbles. It was the flop sweat.
Speaker 3: I think they trained the police dogs to swim underwater
Speaker 3: follow the flop sweat, and eventually they just went up
Speaker 3: and like nipped him in the button just a little bit.
Speaker 2: Totally. They didn't want to put that part of the
Speaker 2: dog's biting him. We could get sued, so let's cut
Speaker 2: that out of the story.
Speaker 3: I like that theory.
Speaker 2: Well, when we're let's take a little break, Dave, and
Speaker 2: then we'll be back. I'll get into international drug smuggling
Speaker 2: and the big boys who used actual submarines. Things were
Speaker 2: about to get wet and wild back in two and two.
Speaker 2: All right, day, we're back.
Speaker 3: We are back.
Speaker 2: I'm limbered up. I'm ready for another one. Good, you're
Speaker 2: all stretched, you're ready. Okay, this one is gonna ask
Speaker 2: a lot of you. You're a lot of mental calisthetics. Now,
Speaker 2: imagine drug running at a submarine in Detroit.
Speaker 3: Submarine in Detroit. Yeah, I guess we're talking.
Speaker 2: Okay, So this is are word starting to conjure up
Speaker 2: a magic for the imagination because just wait, Dave, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna get further into it. I want first, I want
Speaker 2: you to meet Glenn Mousseau, forty nine year old of Windsor, Michigan.
Speaker 3: Glenn.
Speaker 2: No, Glenn is a professional international drug smuggler, a Monday launderer,
Speaker 2: and an all around good time guy. No, the last part,
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I don't know. I've never met the guy.
Speaker 2: He just seems like fun as at least as a crimer.
Speaker 2: Because over his thirty two years as a criminal, Glenn
Speaker 2: Mussou has racked up forty seven convictions. Let's give a
Speaker 2: hand to Glenn.
Speaker 3: That may end up getting a purpie at the end
Speaker 3: of the year. Like, that's a lot of convictions.
Speaker 2: The guys stayed busy, you know, and he is just
Speaker 2: not good at crime, but he keeps trying, you know,
Speaker 2: practice practice, practice apparently with Glenn Musseau. Anyway, his primary
Speaker 2: place of business the Detroit River. Yes, that's where he
Speaker 2: liked to zip loads of pot and money back and
Speaker 2: forth across the US Canada border along that wet edge
Speaker 2: between the two nations. Now, his loads were typically pot,
Speaker 2: sometimes cocaine, sometimes methamphetamines. He would river pirate his contraband
Speaker 2: across the border. But Mussau wasn't fond of boats like
Speaker 2: the pirates of old, so he didn't cott into yachts
Speaker 2: or sailboats, no, sir, not Glen Mussoe. No, he would
Speaker 2: glide under the water's surface and slice across the darkened
Speaker 2: depths of the Detroit River in a submersible. Now this
Speaker 2: wasn't always his mom because back in nineteen ninety five
Speaker 2: he was deported from the US back to Canada. But
Speaker 2: the crafty knock he snuck back over the porest not
Speaker 2: nearly as militarized northern border. Now back in America, he
Speaker 2: gets back to doing crime. Finally. On May tenth, twenty twenty,
Speaker 2: Glen Mussou he was behind the wheel of a U
Speaker 2: haul truck. He was in place called China Township in Michigan.
Speaker 2: I've never been there, but sounds fun anyway. The officers
Speaker 2: who pulled up behind him, they were from Saint Clair's
Speaker 2: County Sheriff's office, and they were mad suspicious of this
Speaker 2: man in the U haul who seemed shady as all hell.
Speaker 3: Generally a good guess that's someone, Yeah, dude in a
Speaker 3: U haul who looks shady is shady exactly.
Speaker 2: It's pretty much a guarantee. It's one of those things
Speaker 2: like if you go to like a weird mattress store
Speaker 2: and you're like, these people seem shady, they are shady. Now.
Speaker 2: The suspicions were warranted when the deputies found a large
Speaker 2: plastic bag in the trunk and Mussou said he didn't
Speaker 2: know whose bag it was or where the bag had
Speaker 2: even come from. The deputies were like, yeah, okay, buddy,
Speaker 2: Now why were they so doubtful because inside the bag
Speaker 2: was ninety seven thousand dollars. Now, normally people know where
Speaker 2: ninety seven thousand dollars came from or that it's in
Speaker 2: the truck with them.
Speaker 3: He was like, no, I don't know what is Gosh, officer,
Speaker 3: if I had known, I would have been spending this money.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Mosa's like, oh, would you look at this. It
Speaker 2: seems like a lot of money. Offices Now, the Michigan
Speaker 2: deputies they promptly arrest Mussou. He gets booked at Saint
Speaker 2: Clair County Jail. Once in custody, officers actually asking Mussau
Speaker 2: about the rented U haul truck with the large plastic
Speaker 2: bag with the ninety seven thousand, he'd never seen and
Speaker 2: had no idea how it got there or even whose
Speaker 2: money it was. New Mussau, he still did not have
Speaker 2: any good answers for the cops, so they just kept
Speaker 2: pestering him with question after question. I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2: I guess he got tired, because eventually he did cough
Speaker 2: up some of the truth. So Mussau tells the deputies, Okay,
Speaker 2: I do know where the money has come from. Turns
Speaker 2: out it just came back from Okay, let I'll tell
Speaker 2: you this. I am a drug smuggler. I am a
Speaker 2: Monday lunderer. And they're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, are
Speaker 2: you just saying all these I guess I smuggled cash
Speaker 2: in enough of your country. And they're like, it's like,
Speaker 2: I must have slipped my mind. I don't know when
Speaker 2: you were asking me. I get to nervous cops, you know,
Speaker 2: They're like, okay.
Speaker 3: But we'll have a lot of jobs. This is just
Speaker 3: one of many jobs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean this is my night time job. I
Speaker 2: thought you met my daytime job. So he suddenly he
Speaker 2: recalls how he was trying to smuggle the money back
Speaker 2: into Canada and he was looking for a place to
Speaker 2: cross the border with his U haul truck with the
Speaker 2: ninety seven thousand in it. Now, Homeland Security gets called
Speaker 2: in because it's a border violation. Then he tried to
Speaker 2: interview Musso, and his story gets more and more outsized
Speaker 2: as he goes. According to the court documents I checked out,
Speaker 2: Mussau quote explain that he runs a smuggling company and
Speaker 2: he's serving three criminal organizations in the United States. In Canada,
Speaker 2: He's like, I am the import to EXPORTO what you
Speaker 2: know I do contracts. Now, the money in the U
Speaker 2: haul that was payment for one hundred pounds of pot
Speaker 2: that had been paid for already, and he was smuggling
Speaker 2: the cash into Canada for the exchange. So the agents
Speaker 2: at this point they're struck by Mussou's candor. They're like,
Speaker 2: this guy's awesome. He's just telling us everything. So they
Speaker 2: ask him, how are you getting the drugs into the US.
Speaker 2: You want to, like tell us how your operation works.
Speaker 2: So what do you think he tells him, Dave. Do
Speaker 2: you think he tells him the truth?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: I don't think so. And I mean, like, I know,
Speaker 3: you know, laws of supply and demand and everything, but
Speaker 3: I'm kind of surprised that someone feels the need to
Speaker 3: smuggle pot into the US, like we got plenty.
Speaker 5: Dude.
Speaker 2: Well, I guess apparently in the Midwest, Canadian pot is
Speaker 2: the thing. So I'm California. I don't know about Canadian
Speaker 2: pot me Like, I've heard about it. I know that
Speaker 2: it exists, but I mean, like, it's not a thing
Speaker 2: that we're like, oh, it's that good BC bud or whatever.
Speaker 2: But I know people like in like Indiana and Illinois,
Speaker 2: they would tell me about different Canadian strains. I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: that's your guys, is like humboled Okay cool. So anyway,
Speaker 2: did he tell them the truth? The answer is kind
Speaker 2: of he likes to always tell half truth. So he
Speaker 2: tells the Homeland Security agents that the drugs and the
Speaker 2: money either one. They would be wrapped super tightly and
Speaker 2: then so that they were airtight and also that means
Speaker 2: they were waterproof. So then he would pilot him submersible
Speaker 2: called a sea Bob across the Detroit River with the
Speaker 2: waterproof contraband in tow. Now, Dave, the sea Bob is
Speaker 2: no sea scooter like the one I showed you before.
Speaker 2: Now this is not like piercing his pathetic like Shasta escape. No,
Speaker 2: the sea bob. This is a luxury submersible, just like
Speaker 2: imagine he's slapping the hood of a sea bob like
Speaker 2: I'm a car salesman. This bad boy will get the
Speaker 2: job done for your average smuggler looking to move a
Speaker 2: heavyload of contraband, my friend, what will take to get
Speaker 2: you in a sea bub today? Now this sea bob,
Speaker 2: it's like a sea sled. The diver lies down, they
Speaker 2: hold it and the twin engines power the sea Bob. Dave,
Speaker 2: it looks like this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, see this is what I picture because there was
Speaker 3: one of the Gi Joe guys. Huh, this was his
Speaker 3: whole thing was like and as a kid, you wanted that.
Speaker 3: You didn't really care about the action figure, but you
Speaker 3: wanted that thing. Yes, exactly, this is totally action like
Speaker 3: action kid dreams.
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, I'll be hanging onto that and I'll
Speaker 2: zip along and nobody can catch me. I mean it
Speaker 2: looks like it looks like something tourists would use in
Speaker 2: the Caribbean or Hawaii, and somehe was like, Oh, I
Speaker 2: want to be toodling along looking at the beauty or
Speaker 2: you know, moving one hundred pounds of pot across the border,
Speaker 2: so our man in the sea bob moves. So he
Speaker 2: told Homeland Security all about how he would waterproof a
Speaker 2: load and then he'd hop on his sea bob and
Speaker 2: he'd take his luxury sea toy for a glide across
Speaker 2: the Detroit River. And in fact, he bragged that his
Speaker 2: smuggling outfit had three sea bobs. He's like, hey, man,
Speaker 2: I really an adventure resort over here. Now, facing who
Speaker 2: knows how many years behind bars, Mussou told the Homeland
Speaker 2: Security agents eventually all that he knew heaus he claimed
Speaker 2: to tell them all that he knew he In fact,
Speaker 2: he informed the FEDS that he was down to cooperate
Speaker 2: with them. For instance, he told them about a big
Speaker 2: meth shipment that he had scheduled for the next day,
Speaker 2: and he said, if you guys want to pop in,
Speaker 2: I could arrange that's for you. You know, you can
Speaker 2: meet some more from my organization. So the FEDS are like, oh, okay.
Speaker 2: It's like, well, you'll need to make up your minds quickly.
Speaker 2: It's tomorrow. So the FEDS are like, okay, let's think
Speaker 2: about it. They talk to their bosses or whatever. The
Speaker 2: FEDS are like, it's a go. So the they release Muso, right,
Speaker 2: but first before they get ready to do that, they're like, well,
Speaker 2: we need to see your cell phones, right, So they
Speaker 2: kind of want to tag his stuff and they want
Speaker 2: to see what he has. So he agrees, he lets
Speaker 2: them search his two cell phones. The Feds they crack
Speaker 2: open his cell phones and they read all that their
Speaker 2: eyes can behold. They found texts, exchanges, chats between criminal confederates,
Speaker 2: GPS coordinates. They're writing all of this down planned drug exchanges.
Speaker 2: There's also discussion of making a drone submarine that could
Speaker 2: attach to the bottom of an ocean going ship and
Speaker 2: take a ride to Europe where smugglers, but then dislodge
Speaker 2: it and collect the coke that was inside.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 2: Right, this phone was a wealth of information for the FEDS.
Speaker 2: They're like, I didn't even know about this. This is amazing.
Speaker 2: Thanks the story. He's like, oh, on the problem, I
Speaker 2: tell you. We have partners now, right, So they're like, okay, Musso,
Speaker 2: we're gonna cut you loose, go make that meth deal.
Speaker 2: Call us in the morning and we'll be there for
Speaker 2: the raid. Right. Who's like, oh, well, yes, of course,
Speaker 2: so he cuts this deal. They release him, he goes
Speaker 2: to make a scheduled meth deal. And that is what
Speaker 2: we in the storytelling industry, David, we call a bonehead decision.
Speaker 2: Because Musseau was released and checked into a local hotel,
Speaker 2: but there was no meth deal the next day. That
Speaker 2: was what we call a I Now he was in
Speaker 2: the Beymont Hotel in Flat Rock, Michigan. The desk clerk
Speaker 2: remembered him well. Apparently he made a memorable impression. The
Speaker 2: desk clerk later with tell authorities that Mussau said he
Speaker 2: was going to dip out for a bit because he
Speaker 2: needed to attend a family funeral. That was his plans
Speaker 2: to cover Skipping town. So around three am, security cambridge
Speaker 2: footage from the hotel shows Mussau walk out of the
Speaker 2: hotel and then once he's free at the hotel that
Speaker 2: three hours later, around six am, he phones the front
Speaker 2: desk and he says, oh, yes, I talked to you earlier.
Speaker 2: Well I have I've left suddenly. As I told you,
Speaker 2: I'd like you to go and get off of my
Speaker 2: belongings in my room. Gather them up, pack them up,
Speaker 2: and I will send somebody over to pick them up later.
Speaker 2: They're like yeah, yeah, sure, no problem. They make a note.
Speaker 2: Later that same Homeland Security they show up looking for
Speaker 2: Musso they're like, hey, where's the guy in like whatever
Speaker 2: three seventeen. They're like, oh, he checked out. What do
Speaker 2: you mean he checked out? They're like, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: be his room. So they're like, well, did he leave anything.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, yeah, he abandoned it. So they consider
Speaker 2: I don't know if the note wasn't passed. The hotel
Speaker 2: decides that since he left his stuff, it's been abandoned
Speaker 2: and they handed over to Homeland Security.
Speaker 3: Or they're just like nope, I read that. I'm not
Speaker 3: doing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. I think that is probably more accurate. Hotel
Speaker 2: Sef's like, I'm not getting involved. That's his Homeland Security buddy,
Speaker 2: so sorry, we're a little motel. So in his belongings
Speaker 2: the Homeland Security agents they find five more cell phones
Speaker 2: and he had a hole make a new identity kit.
Speaker 2: In this it consisted of a stolen Canadian passport, an
Speaker 2: Ontario temporary driver's license, and a Burth certificate. There was
Speaker 2: also a dry suit that's like a like a suit
Speaker 2: for diving. It's like a wetsuit, but instead the body
Speaker 2: is designed to stay dry, as opposed to a wetsuit
Speaker 2: where the bodies designed to get wet.
Speaker 3: Right, can I just instead pretend that it's a suit
Speaker 3: so that if you have a lot of flop sweat,
Speaker 3: just wix it off of you. So if you're going
Speaker 3: to you doing crimes, you're not uncomfortable exactly your super
Speaker 3: dry suit.
Speaker 2: I like that idea. I need to get a tailor.
Speaker 2: So anyway, he Musseau. He had left his new fake
Speaker 2: identity behind, right, so what's he gonna do now? He
Speaker 2: still needs to cross the border to get back into Canada.
Speaker 2: He can't do it semi legitimately now, so he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I know the way. On June fifth, at around two
Speaker 2: thirty five in the morning, agents from the US Border
Speaker 2: Patrol they spot this suspicious vessel in international boundary waters.
Speaker 2: It's a high speed boat making a high speed late
Speaker 2: night crossing. Right now, they know this is not just
Speaker 2: some normal pleasure seekers out just like zipping along in
Speaker 2: their donzie. They're like, no, no, this has to be
Speaker 2: crimers making a run for it. So the border patrols
Speaker 2: give chase. They attempt a high speed boat chase right
Speaker 2: on the Detroit River. The Border Patrol agents they find
Speaker 2: that they they're they cannot get close enough. They're closing distance,
Speaker 2: but this high speed boat is way too fast. It's
Speaker 2: at night, and they had got binoculars. They're looking at him,
Speaker 2: and they noticed one of the guys with the monoca
Speaker 2: They notice two large bundles go over the side of
Speaker 2: the speedboat. So some of the agents they peel off
Speaker 2: the speedboat chase and they go to fish out the
Speaker 2: two large bundles, and what do they find. They also
Speaker 2: find an unconscious Mussou. He's just floating there in the
Speaker 2: Detroit River, kaoed by like the head slap to the water,
Speaker 2: I'm guessing, or maybe he was kaoed by the two
Speaker 2: large bundles themselves, which turned out to be two hundred
Speaker 2: and sixty five pounds of marijuana.
Speaker 3: Now, maybe he just had too much Little Caesar's crazy
Speaker 3: bread and it just just totally blew up. His system
Speaker 3: just backed up on him. He's like, uh, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: get carbo loading. I'm gonna take a little nap, little
Speaker 3: Mussou nipe. So he has these two hundred and sixty
Speaker 3: five pounds of marijuana like two floaties attached to his
Speaker 3: arms and they keep him afloat right in time for
Speaker 3: the border patrol agents to just fish him out of
Speaker 3: the water. He gets promptly rearrested, charged on a whole
Speaker 3: bevy of new charges. Now he tries to get back
Speaker 3: with his previous attempt at cooperating with the FELD.
Speaker 2: He's like, no, remember before when I said that would cooperate,
Speaker 2: So let's talk about that some more.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: They're like, no, man, no, come on, Mussau. What with
Speaker 2: the river. He's like, oh, that's just fair. So he
Speaker 2: pleads guilty. The POD charges unlawful entry into US. He
Speaker 2: receives seventy one months in federal prison.
Speaker 3: This maybe, yeah, Like I'm I'm doubling down that I
Speaker 3: think this guy is probably the worst criminal we've had on,
Speaker 3: like the least competent criminal that we've had on.
Speaker 2: Yes, he's he has been like he just constantly gets busted,
Speaker 2: just constantly thinks like what if I flip on everybody
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 3: And that like you're gonna get one over. Like I
Speaker 3: love the idea that his little mind is going and
Speaker 3: going and going and he's thinking like okay, So they
Speaker 3: like when I cooperate. If I give them something really big,
Speaker 3: then that will help me out a lot. So here,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give him some really big and then like
Speaker 3: he walks away, like, well, now I have to fabricate
Speaker 3: an entire massive drug deal to get them the show up.
Speaker 3: Like what's going through his mind that night? Is he
Speaker 3: just like does he start thinking maybe he's gonna try
Speaker 3: to concoct it and then give up, or is he
Speaker 3: just like I'm running for the border Now.
Speaker 2: I think he's just making like a run for the border,
Speaker 2: like it's Taco bell. I think he's like, look, I'm
Speaker 2: out of here. I'm taking my tones pounds of pot
Speaker 2: and I'm hoping i can start a new life in Montreal.
Speaker 2: Dear lord, Yeah, now you reacted to the submarine attached
Speaker 2: to the bottom of the boat, right now, Yeah, those
Speaker 2: are That's called parasites smuggling. And I looked into this.
Speaker 2: Now this it's not the practice of sneaking bloodsucking insects
Speaker 2: over the border. Nope. This is parasite smuggling is an adjective.
Speaker 2: It's it is a growing trend, and it's now actually
Speaker 2: almost big business, not quite but almost. It's what the
Speaker 2: FEDS found on Mussau's phone was plans for a drone
Speaker 2: vessel that would attach to the bottom of a ship. Now,
Speaker 2: the drone vessel was gonna have these powerful magnets that
Speaker 2: could just snap it attached and then they could be
Speaker 2: released and then all of a sudden you could just
Speaker 2: float it away. It could then putt putt over to
Speaker 2: some people in a waiting boat somewhere else in the harbor.
Speaker 2: They pull it out of the water and they float away.
Speaker 2: Brilliant plan, right.
Speaker 3: Sounds like a new San Francisco startup, Like they're gonna
Speaker 3: start selling that.
Speaker 2: As a taxi service, getting people across the seas super cheap,
Speaker 2: so no parasite smuggling, organized criminals. They love it. But
Speaker 2: they have to use scuba divers to attach the cocaine
Speaker 2: stashes to the ocean going container ships and they're usually
Speaker 2: they're headed to Europe. That's always the questions, like how
Speaker 2: do we get this stuff through European customs? Now the
Speaker 2: stashes once again I said, they're secreted into torpedo shaped
Speaker 2: containers and then they're not always attached by magnets. Other
Speaker 2: times they are welded to the bottom and then that
Speaker 2: requires underwater welders and divers. So you're getting into complicated
Speaker 2: operations now, well, I'll give you an example of one.
Speaker 2: Back in twenty thirteen, there was a French smuggling ring
Speaker 2: that had been using this tactic to pardon the pun
Speaker 2: swimming success. Now they'd attached eight long, eight foot torpedo
Speaker 2: shaped containers in South America to European bound cargo ships.
Speaker 2: Their operation was only discovered by happenstance and a bit
Speaker 2: of dumb luck. The French port police from the Port
Speaker 2: of False sux Mer they were doing a patrol when
Speaker 2: they spotted this strange site. There's toodling around the harbor
Speaker 2: on like an underwater scooter were a pair of divers.
Speaker 2: They followed the diver's progress, but rather than bust the divers,
Speaker 2: they decided to track them. So it turns out one
Speaker 2: of the divers was the mastermind of a big bank
Speaker 2: high so we should probably cover the Bank of France
Speaker 2: heist from nineteen ninety two. So they follow this cat
Speaker 2: and that way they can both bust his whole operation.
Speaker 2: The port police learned the smuggling operation was super advanced
Speaker 2: and high tech. The torpedo stash it would be attached
Speaker 2: to the cargo ship hole, as they said, with powerful magnets,
Speaker 2: then they could spot weld it. Otherwise these guys were
Speaker 2: using magnets. They're like, oh, this is incredible. Right now
Speaker 2: the other designs I told you where they have the
Speaker 2: spot welding. That obviously is a little bit more difficult.
Speaker 2: But either way, what always is a question is is
Speaker 2: you know if you want to get it across the Atlantic.
Speaker 2: The smugglers, if they attach it to a big ocean
Speaker 2: going container ship, they can now just watch their progress
Speaker 2: on open source ship tracking apps.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and.
Speaker 2: They know exactly when the ship gets there. There's no
Speaker 2: more guests work, they don't have to have a spot
Speaker 2: or sitting at the harbor. There's no bribes, they don't
Speaker 2: have to bribe the ship's captain, nobody, none of the
Speaker 2: seamen board, nothing. They just do it open source now
Speaker 2: and then they wait. They get real time updates, they
Speaker 2: show up for the progress they's smuggled shipment, and then boom,
Speaker 2: ship reaches harbor. Smugglers take a little go fast boat
Speaker 2: or a dinghy or maybe even a john boat out
Speaker 2: and then they just drop the parasite subout and then boom. Done.
Speaker 3: Deal Now sometimes they just they'd crack that thing open
Speaker 3: right there. They're like, you know what, we deserve a reward.
Speaker 3: They just like bust over a torpedo. Yeah, just take
Speaker 3: a few sniffs, like an eighties an eighties cop show.
Speaker 3: They're cut that bag open. See if this is the
Speaker 3: good stuff?
Speaker 4: Oh boy?
Speaker 2: Now, in reality, theirs the typical submarine stash. It does
Speaker 2: not be saying detach on her own and neatly pilot
Speaker 2: away as the Musseau and these guys had planned. Usually
Speaker 2: divers have to go down, they have to hand release
Speaker 2: the stash.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 2: The problem is is working at night in a harbor
Speaker 2: is dark, dangerous work. We were talking oily murky waters.
Speaker 2: Divers often die doing this. So the cartels they can't
Speaker 2: just throw in like some random flunkies with an oxygen
Speaker 2: tank and say have at it. Boys. They have to
Speaker 2: go and as I said, hire the best divers they can.
Speaker 2: So they end up hiring world class divers for instance,
Speaker 2: exactly like there's this dude, Matthew Maddie thunder Hotter. He
Speaker 2: was an Australian stripper and a world class diver. Yes,
Speaker 2: really interesting guy. He gets busted on drug possession charges
Speaker 2: after he attempted a risky dive to retrieve ninety one
Speaker 2: kilos of cocaine from the Spirit of Auckland while it
Speaker 2: was at anchor in a place called Port Chalmers. He
Speaker 2: got busted and so Maddie thundered down under. He's just
Speaker 2: one of the many world class divers who've been seduced
Speaker 2: away from their life as well, in his case, a
Speaker 2: male stripper and world class diver. And now they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I got to respond to the siren call of organized crime.
Speaker 2: It just pays so well because most of the time
Speaker 2: these guys are getting away with it. And when they
Speaker 2: do get busted, yes, things and get real bad, real quick,
Speaker 2: and that is if you don't die doing it. But
Speaker 2: most of the time it works for them, so you
Speaker 2: can see why they would do it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and these guys they probably want to be
Speaker 3: like diving in old sunken ships and like finding gold
Speaker 3: and stuff, you know, like that's why they get into
Speaker 3: the biz. And this is kind of like that exactly.
Speaker 2: It's and it's you know, it's a lot of fun
Speaker 2: and adventure and it seems like kind of dangerous and
Speaker 2: you feel like, oh, you're in like some kind of
Speaker 2: like you know crime movie. They're like, oh, I'm going
Speaker 2: to get a night down to the French harbor to
Speaker 2: dive in and you know, swim underneath a ship and
Speaker 2: detach cocaine. I mean, like, come on, as cool as hell. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it seems cool as hell until you're arrested. Then you
Speaker 2: hear it read back to you. You're like, okay, that
Speaker 2: that doesn't sound good when you say it. It sounded
Speaker 2: better in my head. Anyway, Dave, let's take a little
Speaker 2: break and after this we'll get to the wildest story yet.
Speaker 2: I promised you Narco subs were getting Narco subs, and
Speaker 2: this time Pablo Escobar he tries to buy a nuclear
Speaker 2: submarine from the Soviet Union. Yes, okay, Dave, we're back.
Speaker 3: How that happened? Where'd we go?
Speaker 2: I know it? Just warm, delicious ads. Did those feel
Speaker 2: good for you? They felt great for me.
Speaker 3: The ads were like a pillow under my lumbar area
Speaker 3: and just it's like under my neck, a beautiful slumber.
Speaker 2: And the cool side of the pillow. No, less, that's right.
Speaker 2: Now you're ready to talk about the dream of the
Speaker 2: true Narco submarine.
Speaker 3: I'll say this with no lie. I am as ready
Speaker 3: as I will ever.
Speaker 2: Be okay now first, because I want you picturing the
Speaker 2: right thing. We're talking real, actual, factual submarines. Now, do
Speaker 2: you know about the history of Columbia trying to get
Speaker 2: a cocaine sub fleet going? I do not this ever
Speaker 2: come up and you're reading now okay, to be clear,
Speaker 2: not the country of Columbia, but rather the cocaine cartels
Speaker 2: of Columbia at one time. The cartels they wanted to
Speaker 2: have their own navy. They're like, you know what would
Speaker 2: be great is we had our own boats, but not boats.
Speaker 2: We want submarines, something for under the sea. Because this dream,
Speaker 2: it remained a dream for a long time but has
Speaker 2: since been realized, but never like in the true like
Speaker 2: Tom Clancy style Hunt for the coc October.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 2: Instead, real coke subs have been kind of embarrassing thus far,
Speaker 2: especially as an effort from basically a multi billion dollar industry.
Speaker 2: I mean the cocaine people. They got money. They can
Speaker 2: throw it at their R and D. But anyway, before
Speaker 2: we get to Pablo Bascobar and his Soviet era missile
Speaker 2: sub first, I'd like to take you into the Eastern
Speaker 2: Pacific Ocean a board a coastguard cutter. And to do that,
Speaker 2: I would like you to close your eyes, and David,
Speaker 2: I'd like you to picture it.
Speaker 3: My eyes are closed. I'm opening a course cutter too.
Speaker 2: The year is twenty eighteen, the month is June, and you, Dave,
Speaker 2: are aboard the Coastguard cutter Monroe. As it slices through
Speaker 2: the open ocean waves, it rises and then slams down.
Speaker 2: After each wave's lift, sea spray splashes against your cheeks,
Speaker 2: wetting your face in a semi regular rhythm. Dave, you
Speaker 2: are a Coastguard cadet.
Speaker 3: This is your is a dream come true.
Speaker 2: This is your first big mission at sea. Good luck seamen.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, that's the Navy. Sorry I should say good
Speaker 2: luck guardsman. Anyway, your vote is not out on a patrol, no, sir,
Speaker 2: you are on the hunt. You've been coordinating with a
Speaker 2: Coast Guard aircraft that's been tracking your prey and guiding
Speaker 2: you from above. The prey in question is a Narco sub.
Speaker 2: The sub is surfaced, yet it's still difficult to spot
Speaker 2: since it's painted blue like the water. But from above,
Speaker 2: from the sky, its trail is easier to track. This
Speaker 2: Coast Guard aircraft. It gives your cutter that all clear
Speaker 2: to engage. Your boat goes full throttle to catch the
Speaker 2: sub before it slips back under the surface of the
Speaker 2: sea and it disappears. The sub in question is not
Speaker 2: a military sub yet it is fully capable of submerging
Speaker 2: for a length of time. This sub was most likely
Speaker 2: constructed in the jungles of Columbia before it was launched
Speaker 2: by the cartel. The reason your boat must be quick
Speaker 2: is that once the sub slips under the surface of
Speaker 2: the water, the sub is designed to be sunk, intentionally sunk.
Speaker 2: The evidence lost to Davy Jones's locker while the crew
Speaker 2: escapes the sinking submarine, only to be rescued by you
Speaker 2: in the coastguard, which they know won't let the crew drown.
Speaker 2: So your cutter closes in on the surface narco sub
Speaker 2: wave splashing, wind blowing, You feel the adrenaline pumping through you.
Speaker 2: Two smaller boats are set to be launched. You're ordered
Speaker 2: into one of the small boats and you attempt to
Speaker 2: go and board the submarine. This does not sound like
Speaker 2: a good idea to you. It's the middle of the
Speaker 2: open ocean. These are cocaine smugglers, most likely armed, perhaps
Speaker 2: heavily armed, but anyway you steal yourself. You calm, you're
Speaker 2: racing mind as the small boat's engine does its job
Speaker 2: getting you closer to the sub. Your boat races up
Speaker 2: alongside the Narco sub, the engines humming against the sea.
Speaker 2: You spot the poorly painted blue paint job of the
Speaker 2: sub up close, and then your boat bumps up against
Speaker 2: the sub. The engine cuts out. You can hear the
Speaker 2: sea water laughing against the sub. The guardsman next to you,
Speaker 2: he just jumps onto the sub. His boots slap the
Speaker 2: sub steal skin. Water rushes past his boots as he
Speaker 2: grips tight to the sub. You watch, just amazed the guardsman.
Speaker 2: He grabs hold of the hatch and he wheels it
Speaker 2: open as it winds with each revolution. Then he yanks
Speaker 2: open the hatch. He wins, expecting gunfire. You hear the
Speaker 2: guardsmen yell down to the cocaine smugglers. Everyone out of
Speaker 2: the sub. He sounds like some kind of honky lifeguard
Speaker 2: working at a suburban pool back on in Providence. But
Speaker 2: the coke smugglers listen right, They jump and crawl out
Speaker 2: of the sub. You were gobsmacked and so glad it
Speaker 2: wasn't you who had to jump onto the homemade narco sub.
Speaker 2: There you go. Dahn't it that?
Speaker 3: You're so good? Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Now aboard that narco sub, the Coast Guard would discover
Speaker 2: seven hundred kiloads of coke. That's about fifteen hundred pounds
Speaker 2: of cocaine, if you want to do the math, or
Speaker 2: about three quarters of a ton of coke.
Speaker 3: So how many how many for f one fifties? Is
Speaker 3: that it's like half an f one fifty.
Speaker 6: Yes, I had never thought of coke in f one
Speaker 6: fifty terms, but we have to start doing that, only
Speaker 6: placing it in F one fifty conversion rates.
Speaker 2: That's amazing. So the Coast Guard estimated the street value
Speaker 2: at three hundred and thirty two million dollars, but as
Speaker 2: you and I both know, those estimates are usually too high.
Speaker 2: But still a bunch of cocaine. So the dream of
Speaker 2: a narco sub, as it was realized there, was done poorly.
Speaker 2: But it is a very old idea for the cartels.
Speaker 2: It dates back to the nineties when they first started
Speaker 2: to really get into it. Now, the footage of you
Speaker 2: when your Coast Guard mission, when that drug intradiction, that
Speaker 2: footage hit the internet. It went viral folks were like,
Speaker 2: what the hell the cartels have their own submarines, you know,
Speaker 2: because they didn't realize they've been trying out, they've been
Speaker 2: trying to do this for you know, Nia on twenty years.
Speaker 2: But the idea of cartels with submarines of cocaine, it's
Speaker 2: like criminal sci fi. It's like, are you kidding me? Now,
Speaker 2: clearly it'd be genius for a smuggler to be able
Speaker 2: to hide in the ocean, because you know, oceans are
Speaker 2: like what seventy percent of the Earth's surface. I mean,
Speaker 2: you're increasing your surface area by unfathomable amount.
Speaker 3: Anyway, and you can a run silent and be run deep.
Speaker 3: Very true.
Speaker 2: Now, really this is a big game changer for them,
Speaker 2: but it's it's apparently still not a super common tactic.
Speaker 2: But as I told you, I want to tell you
Speaker 2: my favorite story of a Narco sub and of course
Speaker 2: it features Pablo Escobar. Now, as they set up top cartels,
Speaker 2: they had their eye on buying an actual, factual Soviet
Speaker 2: era Fox Trot class submarine. But what maybe even crazier
Speaker 2: is that the Russian military were more than happy to
Speaker 2: discuss prices, payloads, and even deliveries schedules the dave. I'd
Speaker 2: like you to meet Ludwig Feinberg aka Tarzan.
Speaker 3: That's this guy, my man, your man? Or is he
Speaker 3: just a dude.
Speaker 2: He's just a dude. But his street name Tarzan. I'll
Speaker 2: give him that. He's got a dope street name. So
Speaker 2: the year is nineteen eighty and Tarzan lands in Miami.
Speaker 2: He arrived at the height of the cocaine cowboy ara
Speaker 2: in Miami. Organized crime is just doing gangbuster as well
Speaker 2: in the Florida Southland, and that's how Tarzan. He gets
Speaker 2: a job working for the Gambino crime family. He becomes
Speaker 2: an enforcer for the mob. He finds it he's really
Speaker 2: good at beating people within an inch of their life.
Speaker 2: So he's like, oh, I think I can make a
Speaker 2: go of this, maybe make a career out of that.
Speaker 2: I could turn people into like a high paying career
Speaker 2: here in America. And he does, and unlike boxers, he
Speaker 2: wouldn't even have to wear satin shorts. He's like, this
Speaker 2: works for Tarzan, so soon as I'll set your own hours, yes, exactly,
Speaker 2: be your own boss. He's doing well enough that he
Speaker 2: gets goes from mob enforcer to eventually strip club owner,
Speaker 2: He's like, look at this, oh Mary right. So, Inspired
Speaker 2: by the the very raunchy comedy of the day, Tarzan
Speaker 2: named his new place Porky's.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, yeah and so, being that he was Russian,
Speaker 3: his strip club quickly becomes good. I was gonna say,
Speaker 3: he's probably so embarrassed. Now he's like, oh, that did
Speaker 3: not that did not make it safe. Way into twenty
Speaker 3: twenty three, I can't even talk about my old strip
Speaker 3: club anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my old strip club would be canceled these days, guys.
Speaker 2: Being that he was Russian, his strip club quickly becomes
Speaker 2: the choice hangout for the Russian mafia figures of Miami.
Speaker 2: Working out of the strip club, Tarzan graduates to being
Speaker 2: a respected organized crime figure all on his own. He
Speaker 2: begins to be introduced to the rich and the famous,
Speaker 2: those who had a taste for the tawdry and the lurid.
Speaker 2: Eventually well, for instance, the rapper Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice,
Speaker 2: who is not just a fun name to say, but
Speaker 2: he would become key to this story because he was
Speaker 2: the one who introduced Tarzan to his future partner in
Speaker 2: Crimejan Almeida. We would not have this story without Vanilla Ice.
Speaker 2: Strange corners.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what I really want to know is, and you'll
Speaker 3: have to indulge me. If somehow Rockman loves driving Lamborghinis
Speaker 3: are gonna play into this, then you'll really have my attention.
Speaker 2: I wish I could do that. I'll see what I
Speaker 2: can do. Let's see if I can stretch it now.
Speaker 2: Juan Almeida he was in the import export business, which
Speaker 2: means he primarily moved exotic, high end supercars and super
Speaker 2: pricey speedboats, some of them legit, some not legit. Anyway,
Speaker 2: by this time, we're into the early nineteen nineties and
Speaker 2: the Soviet Union has just collapsed. So Tarzan he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I can finally return home to the new Russian Federation.
Speaker 2: So he does exactly that. He goes back there with
Speaker 2: Juan Almeida, and together they start exploiting the post Soviet
Speaker 2: collapse to their benefit. They basically buy up anything that moved.
Speaker 2: They could think, oh, yeah, I can get top dollar
Speaker 2: for that motorcycle back wherever, right, I'll take that boat.
Speaker 2: They're taking up everything that people would buying at the
Speaker 2: end of the Soviet collapse. They're paying pennies on the
Speaker 2: dollar for this stuff. Or I'm sorry pennies on the ruble.
Speaker 2: But anyway, these two of scrupulous international mobsters, they work
Speaker 2: their magic and the chaos of post Soviet Russia and
Speaker 2: they meet this equally moral lists man named Nelson Tony Yester.
Speaker 2: I do not know how you get Tony out of Nelson,
Speaker 2: so don't even ask. I have no idea what to say.
Speaker 2: I mean, street named Tony.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how do you get Tarzan out of that other
Speaker 3: dude's name?
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. So anyway, Tony Yester, he is a bona
Speaker 2: fide international criminal. He was aligned with a meta Yin cartel,
Speaker 2: which was Pablo Escobar's cartel. Now, when Tony Yester cross
Speaker 2: pass with Tarzan and Juan Almeida, the three men came
Speaker 2: up with one al of a business deal. Yester would
Speaker 2: broker the deal for Pablo Escobar, Tarzan and Almeida. They'd
Speaker 2: offer up their Russian contacts to make the deal. So
Speaker 2: what was the deal, Well, Pablo Escobar he wanted to
Speaker 2: buy two Russian made Kamov helicopters. If you're not familiar
Speaker 2: with this line of Soviet transport choppers, the Kamov Dave
Speaker 2: was a heavy payload chopper. It was a helicopter perfect
Speaker 2: for moving hundreds and hundreds of pounds of cocaine like beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm guessing it was most likely the kamov Ka thirty two.
Speaker 3: Which is a beautiful, beautiful bird.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. He's often billed as quote the most powerful
Speaker 2: heavy load helicopter, twin engine with coaxial rotor system with
Speaker 2: lifting capacity of up to five tons. It's a bad boy.
Speaker 2: Nice now, this thing was It looks like something Rambo
Speaker 2: would shoot down with the Bazuka, you know, like twin rotors,
Speaker 2: like big wide Soviet style. Anyway, the deal goes through.
Speaker 2: All sides are pleased. Pablo gets his Soviet choppers, starts
Speaker 2: slanging coke out of him. Almina returns to Moscow for
Speaker 2: a new deal. He's like, oh, but this time he
Speaker 2: doesn't say like, I'm here on behalf of Pablo Escobar.
Speaker 2: This time he says, I am Pablo Escobar. He goes
Speaker 2: around Russia pretending to be Pablo Escobar.
Speaker 3: Now, I mean, if you can get away with it,
Speaker 3: it's a strong move.
Speaker 2: They didn't have the Internet, they couldn't look it up.
Speaker 2: People were like, well he looks Spanish to me, well, Colombian. Whatever.
Speaker 2: He speaks Spanish. I don't know.
Speaker 3: Uh, I have to confess I did, and I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't look Spanish, I don't have any Latin blood.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I did once use a fake ID of my sister's
Speaker 3: boyfriend Miguel Sanchez to uh maybe, so I've done this
Speaker 3: and it works.
Speaker 2: It did work, It does work. Yeah, I'm telling even
Speaker 2: I could use like a Spanish name. People are like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe Cuban. I don't know whatever, So I think we
Speaker 2: should all just keep that in mind. You can always
Speaker 2: pretend you speak Spanish. Anyway. Well, he's bobbing around post
Speaker 2: Soviet Moscow. Al Naida and Tarzan. They arrange a deal
Speaker 2: to supply the new capitalistic nation with all the cocaine
Speaker 2: that it can snort, smoke or shoot, and everyone's like, yay,
Speaker 2: not really, but anyway, this cat al Juan Almida and
Speaker 2: the former mob enforcer Tarzan. They both become heroes to
Speaker 2: the Meda Yine cartel and specifically to Pablo Escobar. He
Speaker 2: doesn't even care that they've been pretending to be him.
Speaker 2: They're like, hey, you got the deal, that was great,
Speaker 2: and I didn't get shot. You can get shot for me.
Speaker 3: Whatever, imagine the free stuff, like just the incredible amount
Speaker 3: of free stuff you get if you tell everybody you're
Speaker 3: Pablo Escobar.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yes, or the stuff you can just take,
Speaker 2: say i am Pablo Escobar. They don't have to give
Speaker 2: it to you can just give it to yourself.
Speaker 3: You like, oh, you don't have any tables available, Well,
Speaker 3: I'm taking that one. Did you get the hell out?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You can just sit down Pablo Escobar. They're like, okay,
Speaker 2: I'll be sitting over here. So Juan Almida Tarzan. They
Speaker 2: now are working as a personal go betweens between Colombia
Speaker 2: and Russia, working essentially for Pablo Escobar as his man
Speaker 2: in Russia. But soon thereafter, in the waning days of
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety three, Pablo Escobar gets gunned down by the
Speaker 2: Colombian army and they're like, oh man our bell cow Now.
Speaker 2: In response, they're like, what are we gonna do? They
Speaker 2: wait around a little while, and the newly formed Cali cartel,
Speaker 2: So the Cali Cartel forms. After the Median Cartel basically
Speaker 2: loses its leader, they're like, oh, we're gonna go out
Speaker 2: and become our own cartel. They reach out to Almeda
Speaker 2: they're like, hey, remember what you did for Pablo, we'd
Speaker 2: like you to do that for us. We're gonna go
Speaker 2: bigger than he ever did. The Cali Cartel asked them
Speaker 2: to become their hardware supplier for another purchase of former
Speaker 2: Soviet military equipment, but the Cali Cartel is like, we
Speaker 2: don't want choppers. We're not into all that. Tony, Yester,
Speaker 2: see if you can get us a fully functional Soviet submarine.
Speaker 2: He's like, yes, I'll ask around what I can do.
Speaker 2: They're like, yeah, we don't want a nuclear powered one.
Speaker 2: We don't have all the plutonium for that. Just one
Speaker 2: of the old diesel numbers. But make sure that it
Speaker 2: has missile capabilities. He's like, ah, done deal.
Speaker 3: Also, cool hats the submarine and a couple cool hats.
Speaker 2: Yeah, give us some of those fur hats. We want
Speaker 2: those for the boys now.
Speaker 3: Yester.
Speaker 2: He tells the Cali Cartel that the Soviet sub would
Speaker 2: cost a cool fifty million dollars. Cali Cartel's like, whoa, whoa,
Speaker 2: it's a lot more than we thought. We were expecting
Speaker 2: a way lower number. But then they're free spending. I mean,
Speaker 2: they are a cocaine cartel. They're they're making, you know,
Speaker 2: but they are once again a business. They have their
Speaker 2: minds on profit on the bottom line. This, you know,
Speaker 2: drug dealing is not a nonprofit business. These guys are like,
Speaker 2: you know, how much let's think about the return on
Speaker 2: our investment. How much tonnage of coke could we ship
Speaker 2: in a Soviet submarine? To Tony Ester's like, does the calculations,
Speaker 2: He's like, uh, according to my calculations, you could expect
Speaker 2: to ship about forty million dollars of coke per load.
Speaker 2: They're like, done, deals.
Speaker 3: Out, We'll take it.
Speaker 2: We'll take can we get two? So that Tony Yester
Speaker 2: he goes he gets the go ahead from the Cali cartel.
Speaker 2: He goes back to Tarzan and Almida. He's like, talk
Speaker 2: to your Russian contacts, let's do this. They contact the
Speaker 2: Russian Navy and Tarzan is told it'll take a few
Speaker 2: days to find out if the deal can even be done.
Speaker 2: They're like, we'll see see if this wee can actually
Speaker 2: make this happen. It takes two days. Two days after that,
Speaker 2: Tarzan picks up the phone and he hears, do you
Speaker 2: want submarine with missiles or without?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So the Russian Navy was ready and willing to sell
Speaker 2: a fox Trot class Soviet submarine. The sub had been
Speaker 2: at sea since the nineteen fifties, but it was still
Speaker 2: ship shape and seaworthy. This diesel submarine was three hundred
Speaker 2: feet long. It boasted ten torpedo tubes. You know it
Speaker 2: In case like the cartel wanted to like sink like
Speaker 2: a coast guard cutter, they had options. Or if they
Speaker 2: wanted to sink an American battleship, whatever, they had options.
Speaker 2: So the deal in place. Tarzan and Almida they flew
Speaker 2: back to Moscow. They met again with their contacts who
Speaker 2: introduced them to the high ranking officers who gave the
Speaker 2: cartel fixers a tour of their super secret submarine installation
Speaker 2: and the tour of the subs that they had in
Speaker 2: their super secret submarine base. Tarzan and Almeia were like, Hey,
Speaker 2: would it be cool if we took a photo with
Speaker 2: the subject proved to the cartel that is real and
Speaker 2: in good shape and not a scam. And they're like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I don't think that would be a yet yeth. But
Speaker 2: the Russian naval officers, you know, even though they were
Speaker 2: leary about photos of the super secret sub basse. Tarzan
Speaker 2: was like, you know, money talks, so how about two
Speaker 2: hundred dollars? And they're like, okay, so that's a selfie
Speaker 2: exactly two hundred bucks, the guys, Tarzan gets his photo. Now,
Speaker 2: at one point, according to Tarzan and confirmed by Tony Yester,
Speaker 2: the Russians even asked the cartel, would you look to
Speaker 2: buy nuclear weapon? We have all sorts here right, So
Speaker 2: they were terrifying considering selling a nuclear weapon to the
Speaker 2: Cali cartel. And now how serious they were is left
Speaker 2: for you to decide.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: But anyway, at this point, Tarzan and all of his
Speaker 2: movements and his business moves, they've drawn the surveillance of
Speaker 2: the American intelligence community and the DA. He's on two radars.
Speaker 2: So the fedger is so deep nownto his crime circle
Speaker 2: that they have worked a mole inside who's telling them
Speaker 2: everything about what he's doing. It was the fed's mole
Speaker 2: who spotted the photo of Tarzan and the Russian naval
Speaker 2: officers standing in the secret sub basse in front of
Speaker 2: the submarine. So that picture eventually became his undoing because
Speaker 2: the sub photo, when the mole tells the FED, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: they're looking at a nuclear sub They're like, wait what
Speaker 2: the FEDS go crazy about that, right, They Yeah, he's
Speaker 2: got a photo on his desk if him in a
Speaker 2: secret to a Soviet sub base. They're like, okay, all
Speaker 2: all all green flags are waving now. They're throwing all
Speaker 2: the money, all the agents they can at this.
Speaker 3: I mean I would do that. Like, if you had
Speaker 3: that kind of a photo, put it on your desk, right,
Speaker 3: I put it framed?
Speaker 2: He kidding me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you said your Christmas card, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Exactly on the front door of my house. So he
Speaker 2: tells his handlers. The mole tells his handlers about the
Speaker 2: sub deal. They freak out. They go and they give
Speaker 2: him a bugged phone because they want to know everything
Speaker 2: he's saying now, So like, here, give Tarzan this bugged phone.
Speaker 2: The mole goes, and he does. He tells him it's
Speaker 2: a jail broken phone that he has, and he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I got a bunch of these. You can now make
Speaker 2: international calls for free. That's all tar And needs to hear.
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, free international calls, and he starts using
Speaker 2: the bugged phone as his primary phone call for all
Speaker 2: of his international calls. So now the FEDS are hearing everything.
Speaker 2: But regardless of this, in the end, it wasn't the
Speaker 2: FEDS who stopped the sub deal. It was Tony Yester.
Speaker 2: Because you see, Tony Yester received ten million of the
Speaker 2: cartel's money to deliver as a down payment on the
Speaker 2: Russian sub. Instead, he decided to not do that. He's like,
Speaker 2: this money looks really good in Tony Yester's wallet. I
Speaker 2: think I'm gonna keep it. So he does. He kept
Speaker 2: the cartel's sub money. He's like, what are they gonna do?
Speaker 3: Call a cop.
Speaker 2: But Yester as he steals the ten million, he.
Speaker 3: Just slips it right into his sheepskin wallet. He's just
Speaker 3: like yeah.
Speaker 2: He's like, ey, you gotta find Tony Yester. Remember last
Speaker 2: time he saw him it was yesterday and today is today.
Speaker 2: So anyway, he hides out of a friend's house. He
Speaker 2: pays that friend ten grand to tell nobody he's there
Speaker 2: and to stay away from the house. The friend does it,
Speaker 2: so Tony Yester thinks he's Golden David. He was not
Speaker 2: golden because the Cali cartels showed up in Miami on
Speaker 2: the hunt for Tony Yes, and they're missing ten million
Speaker 2: dollars as everybody knows they would. They found only Tarzan
Speaker 2: and his partner in crime, Almeda, and they're like, look, look,
Speaker 2: we don't know where he is. And they're like, come
Speaker 2: on now, man. So the cartel like they're pumping these
Speaker 2: guys for information. I don't know if they were tortured
Speaker 2: or not, but anyway, these guys are on the hook
Speaker 2: for the ten million dollars. They swear on their lives,
Speaker 2: which make no mistake, their lives were at risk. They
Speaker 2: swear on their lives that they had nothing to do
Speaker 2: with Tony Yester. They don't even know where that guy is. Eventually,
Speaker 2: the cartel believes them and somehow Tarzan and Almida they
Speaker 2: get trusted. They get to keep their lives, and even
Speaker 2: Tony Yester he keeps his lives. He managed to avoid
Speaker 2: being busted by the US FEDS, who had them all
Speaker 2: under surveillance. However, he couldn't avoid prison forever because Tarzan
Speaker 2: and al Meeda they would eventually get locked up on
Speaker 2: other charges down the line unrelated to the submarine deal.
Speaker 2: They were all busted on charges related to their other
Speaker 2: dealings with the Cali cartel and the Russian So it
Speaker 2: turns out the cocaine was enough to bust them, So
Speaker 2: Tarzan then flips a Almeda and his testimony puts his
Speaker 2: little partner in crime behind bars. But then later on,
Speaker 2: in this crazy unexpected twist, Tarzan then recants his testimony,
Speaker 2: which then sets his buddy freeze, only he ends up
Speaker 2: having to do the time Almighty gets released. Tarzan, mind you,
Speaker 2: he is still alive, Dave. He served out his sentence
Speaker 2: in America. Then for him, he did another one down
Speaker 2: in Panama, just to see if you could get even
Speaker 2: more right. He has not gotten more right.
Speaker 3: Just to check out the facilities. He's like, I want
Speaker 3: to see what Panawa has to offer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the difference. How do they do it down
Speaker 2: here where the weather's warmer. So then eventually he goes
Speaker 2: back home to Russia. Now, the best as I can tell,
Speaker 2: he was last known to be living in Odessa, Ukraine, which,
Speaker 2: as you well know from world events, is a tough
Speaker 2: place to be right now. So I don't know if
Speaker 2: he's still there. I'm betting not there it is. That's
Speaker 2: the closest the cocaine cowboys ever got to getting their
Speaker 2: own true narco sub They were so close if not
Speaker 2: for Tony Yester. And they almost got a nuclear weapon
Speaker 2: out of it too.
Speaker 3: So are you saying that Tony is still at large
Speaker 3: with the ten million.
Speaker 2: Tony No, as far as we know, Tony Yester managed
Speaker 2: to get away as far as I could find.
Speaker 3: How many like that's a man, that's a whole nother podcast,
Speaker 3: Like how many people managed to take money from the
Speaker 3: cartel and live to.
Speaker 2: Tell the tale?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So what's our ridiculous takeaway? David?
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for asking. I'm glad that that you
Speaker 3: the game recognizes game. Yeah, tell Elizabeth for a change.
Speaker 3: You know, I was thinking about it, and I think
Speaker 3: it's uh that Tarzan really represents the Peter principle. The
Speaker 3: Peter principle is like you get promoted to your level
Speaker 3: of incompetence. He was a great muscle guy, right, Like,
Speaker 3: he was an absolute perfect enforcer. He and and he
Speaker 3: pulled a couple of moves and like got high up
Speaker 3: enough in the organization and eventually he reached the place
Speaker 3: where he needed smarter people around him and didn't have
Speaker 3: them someone else. It's like if you had just stuck
Speaker 3: with walking around impersonating Pablo Esquar and getting free stuff.
Speaker 3: He probably would have been fine, but it was the career. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that could last a lifetime, and you know, doing errands
Speaker 3: for Escobar like all that stuff until you you know,
Speaker 3: inevitably piss him off. But to that point he would
Speaker 3: have been fine. It was purely like, you know what,
Speaker 3: I'm going to try to do this like serious international
Speaker 3: arms trade. I'm gonna try to pull off something that's
Speaker 3: never done before. He needed a project manager, he did
Speaker 3: an accountant. He needed these skills that he didn't have.
Speaker 3: And that's where kind of the the criming skills just
Speaker 3: ran out. He ran out to string totally. He needed
Speaker 3: a business manager. He needed a fixer. He needed someone
Speaker 3: who was a dreamer. Maybe he needed a good woman
Speaker 3: in his life.
Speaker 2: I don't know. But he needed a partner who cared
Speaker 2: about him and didn't it would sit him down to
Speaker 2: tell him the truth. It's like, look, maybe go back
Speaker 2: to being a strip club owner.
Speaker 3: Yeah. He also needed a like in the eighties movies.
Speaker 3: He needed a goofy guy with a hat. He's like
Speaker 3: your sidekick. He didn't have any of these things. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he was missing at all.
Speaker 2: Well what about you?
Speaker 3: What is your ridiculous takeaway? Mister Zarin.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, David. You know that's just so neat,
Speaker 2: so orderly. I mean, boom boom oh, I love it.
Speaker 2: My ridiculous takeaway is that how these guys get their
Speaker 2: criminal nicknames Tarzan? I want to know how a Russian
Speaker 2: guy gets named Tarzan? Like, was he like, you know,
Speaker 2: was he a swinger? Was he like you know with
Speaker 2: somebody who's like, hey, he's known to go from vine
Speaker 2: to vine, Like, what's the deal that you get the nickname.
Speaker 3: Long air?
Speaker 2: He had a taste for apes. He's like, well, you know,
Speaker 2: he always wants to go to the zoo. I'm just
Speaker 2: curious about that.
Speaker 3: But there you go.
Speaker 2: That's all that's all I got for you.
Speaker 3: So that was a great story.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Erin, thank you for listening well you. As always,
Speaker 2: everybody can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on Twitter
Speaker 2: and Instagram. We have a website ridiculous Crime dot com.
Speaker 2: We're occasionally we have merch so look for that. We
Speaker 2: also love your talkback, so holler at us. That's on
Speaker 2: the iHeart app, or you can email us if you
Speaker 2: want a Ridiculous Crime gmail dot com. As always, right,
Speaker 2: dear Elizabeth, and there you go. Catch you Next Crime.
Speaker 2: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Brigant,
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