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Speaker 2: is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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Speaker 3: To The Black Guy Who Tips podcast, I listen because

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Speaker 3: Rod and Karen are hot.

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Speaker 4: Hey, Welcome to another episode of The Black Guy Who

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Speaker 4: Tells Podcast. I Am your host Rod joined us always

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Speaker 4: by my co host Hearin, and we are live on

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Speaker 4: a Wednesday, No Tuesday.

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Speaker 5: Where's this day?

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Speaker 4: We're alive on the wednes days of the week. We

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Speaker 4: had m ok day off. Guys, I'm one day off. Okay,

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Speaker 4: we're live on a Wednesday, and we're not alone. We

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Speaker 4: have a very special guest, first time being on the program,

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Speaker 4: but if you've been on the internet, you probably already

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Speaker 4: heard of him. Today's guest is media personality, influencer, entrepreneur

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Speaker 4: and author of the brand new book Get the Fuck

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Speaker 4: Out of your Own Way of God to Letting go

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Speaker 4: of the shit that's holding.

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Speaker 5: You back on sale right now wherever you get books.

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Speaker 5: It's m J Harris. What's going on?

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Speaker 3: I am happy to be here. I'm actually in Bangkok

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Speaker 3: right now visiting with one of my nephew sons. So

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Speaker 3: it's nighttime to hear It's like, what time it is?

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Speaker 3: Five o'clock in the morning?

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Speaker 5: What here? Oh my god? First of all, thank you

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Speaker 5: for being you baby. I don't do anything at five

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Speaker 5: in the morning. Oh wow.

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Speaker 4: So like you're in Bangkik Karen was telling me earlier

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Speaker 4: you went to you were living in Africa. Now like,

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Speaker 4: what's going on with all this globe trotting it? And like,

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Speaker 4: how'd you get into that?

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Speaker 3: I was never a big travel I didn't have the

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Speaker 3: money to travel when I was growing up or anything

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Speaker 3: like that. And then once I started working, I was

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Speaker 3: more focused on just making enough money to pay back

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Speaker 3: my student loans and pay my bills, so traveling wasn't

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Speaker 3: a priority to me. And then once you know, COVID

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Speaker 3: hit and everything like that, and I was stuck in

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Speaker 3: the house with no choice of going anywhere. I started

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Speaker 3: to think about, I really want to just when the

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Speaker 3: world opens up, what do I want to do? You

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Speaker 3: fans out size about all stuff you gonna do? And

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Speaker 3: I lived in California, it was so expensive, inflationless happens,

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Speaker 3: like I want to lower cost to live in all

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Speaker 3: the stuff that was happening I raised. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't mind living someplace where my brown skin is

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Speaker 3: treated a little bit nicer every now and then. And

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Speaker 3: so that led me to watch all these YouTube videos

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Speaker 3: about different places that you can live in the world,

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Speaker 3: like where could you live for under fifteen hundred dollars

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Speaker 3: a month? I was going like, Oh, that looks fun.

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Speaker 3: That seems nice and it let me down this path

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Speaker 3: of exploring options, which led me to initially Indonesia. I

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Speaker 3: lived in Bali for six months and then I made

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Speaker 3: South Africa my home after that, which is you know

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Speaker 3: where I live. I live in South Africa.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and I think for me, I took a trip

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Speaker 6: to Jamaica, a week long trip to Jamaica for the

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Speaker 6: and I tell people, for the first time ever, I

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Speaker 6: we went days literally without seeing a white person. And

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Speaker 6: it'll throw you off, like but not time for particularly

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Speaker 6: when you live somewhere the white country of America. It's

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Speaker 6: odd to be somewhere and you're not you're the majority

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Speaker 6: and not the minority. And I, for the first time

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Speaker 6: in my life, not did I would do it, but

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Speaker 6: I was like, this is why people moved to places

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Speaker 6: that are brown. This is why people move to places

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Speaker 6: where people look like them. So you could just walk

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Speaker 6: and you could just be and you can just exist.

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Speaker 6: Not that you know, racism and things into personals, they

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Speaker 6: don't happen, but the mind frame is a little different

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Speaker 6: if you don't have that worry kind of around you

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Speaker 6: all the time.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you know, for me, I lived in the

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Speaker 3: suburbs of La and then we lived in theame of

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Speaker 3: maybe about twenty different houses in the neighborhood, and we

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Speaker 3: were the only house that was any form of a minority, right,

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Speaker 3: you know, done, now we are the only minority there.

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Speaker 3: And I remember with my nephews who I raises, my sons,

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Speaker 3: you know, I would not let them go out and

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Speaker 3: jog with a hoodie on, and if it was dark out,

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Speaker 3: I would make them if you went, if you wanted

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Speaker 3: to go, you know, to like like the little community

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Speaker 3: basketball court and go down there, take the dog masses,

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Speaker 3: big go pitbulls and making nobody's gonna fuck with you

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Speaker 3: if the dog is there. And I had to train

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Speaker 3: them about when you're driving, keep your way and keep

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Speaker 3: your wallet on the dashboard because if you pulled over,

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Speaker 3: you can just grab it easily. And so all these

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Speaker 3: different things that were such a norm to me growing up,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'm instilling and I'm taking generational trauma

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Speaker 3: and passing under them. And so for me, I started

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Speaker 3: thinking about, you know, where could be a location that

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Speaker 3: they could experience where yes, they'll deal with the normal

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Speaker 3: challenges of growing up, just growing into adulthood. That's a

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Speaker 3: challenging experience. But can we at least remove one of

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Speaker 3: those challenges. And that's what I've experienced by living in

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Speaker 3: South Africa.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I know, like South Africa has its own

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Speaker 4: like racial history and whatnot. Although they had much better

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Speaker 4: reckoning than America, did you.

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Speaker 5: Know, like at least they had like some some meetings.

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Speaker 5: You know, our stuff is still like acknowledge day. We

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Speaker 5: kind of messed up a little bit.

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Speaker 4: You know, they're always putting our shit on the agenda, like, Oh,

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Speaker 4: we're gonna get to it the next president.

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Speaker 5: We're gonna get to it. We got y'all.

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Speaker 3: Ugh.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I have never thought about that of just

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Speaker 4: like living in a world where you don't have to

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Speaker 4: give like your kid to talk, you know, because I

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Speaker 4: feel like in America, I mean you almost feel irresponsible

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Speaker 4: as a black parent to not give them the talk.

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Speaker 4: And then you also feel like pressure of like I

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Speaker 4: don't want to ruin your childhood, right uh. And living

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Speaker 4: somewhere else, maybe you don't have to worry about that pressure.

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Speaker 4: I could that has to feel very free.

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Speaker 3: It is really nice, you know. So when when I'm

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Speaker 3: in when I'm at home in South Africa, people ask

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Speaker 3: me all the time, why did you move here, and

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Speaker 3: I say, well, you know, I just I like it here,

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Speaker 3: like the quality of life, like the costs of living

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Speaker 3: I see, and also as a black person, I do

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Speaker 3: feel safer sometimes. And they say, really, the number of

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Speaker 3: response I hear consistently, are they still doing that stuff

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Speaker 3: in America around race?

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Speaker 5: I was like, well, it can happen. You know.

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Speaker 3: They said that stuff we see online is real. They're

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Speaker 3: in disbelief of the experience, and I said to them,

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Speaker 3: I say, well, what you see online is just what

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Speaker 3: was filmed their experience that people have every never make

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Speaker 3: it on camera, and so you know they don't, but

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Speaker 3: they don't understand that because in a lot of cases

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Speaker 3: they see they believe that we've transcended a lot of

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Speaker 3: these things, and that's just not the case in some cases.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's interesting too, because like, uh, I feel like

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Speaker 4: racism is probably America's number one export. So it's like

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Speaker 4: it's interesting to see the disconnect because you know, obviously

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Speaker 4: they're getting the propaganda from America that's like, na, we

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Speaker 4: had a black president. It's cool, guys, we solved everything.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I feel like, you know, with George Floyd

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Speaker 4: and that being becoming like an international thing. You have

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Speaker 4: people protesting in countries that weren't even America and stuff.

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Speaker 4: And then also I feel like white people have been

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Speaker 4: telling us to go back to Africa for so long

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Speaker 4: that it's kind of like, you know, they should be

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Speaker 4: expecting us to arrive, That's.

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Speaker 5: All I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: They should be like, oh, okay, we already know what

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Speaker 4: it is. No house is over here, we got we got,

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Speaker 4: y'all got your Airbnb.

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Speaker 3: But you know, there a lot of white people in

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Speaker 3: South Africa, Like especially in Cape Town, there's a lot

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Speaker 3: of them. I think that's one of the things that

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Speaker 3: shocks a lot of people when they come there is

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Speaker 3: they think, they're like, this doesn't look like what I

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Speaker 3: thought it would look like. It's very modern. But also

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Speaker 3: there is very very racially diverse. You know, there are

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Speaker 3: times where depending on where I'm at, I could be

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Speaker 3: in a space and I may be the only black

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Speaker 3: person there. Then there's spaces where it's all black people.

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Speaker 3: So South Africa reminds me of America from that perspective

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Speaker 3: that it's extremely diverse, extremely diverse.

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Speaker 4: Is it also you were talking about the cost of living,

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Speaker 4: Is it like, do you feel like you're balling over.

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Speaker 5: There, or you just feel like cool, like it survived finally.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, for me, I feel like it depends, right,

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Speaker 3: because it's just like America. You know, someone who's living

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Speaker 3: in say, Montgomery, Alabama, has a very different living experience

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Speaker 3: in terms of costs living compared to someone who's living

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Speaker 3: in the suburbs of La right. So same in South Africa.

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Speaker 3: It depends on where you choose to stay. I will

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Speaker 3: say that for me, I feel like my money goes

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Speaker 3: further there. My nephews who are you know, one is

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Speaker 3: twenty one and the other one is twenty you know,

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Speaker 3: they both sell insurance as a way to support themselves

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Speaker 3: and they feel like you know, they both told me

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Speaker 3: when moved, it's like this is really nice, you know.

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Speaker 3: And Uber's only three dollars compared to in the America

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Speaker 3: ware of ten dollars depending on where they were going.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know that I'm going to say I

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Speaker 3: feel like I'm living like a king or something like

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Speaker 3: that there, But I do definitely feel like my money

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Speaker 3: goes further. And another thing is I have the peace

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Speaker 3: of mind to be able to say no. Sometimes. I

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Speaker 3: felt like in a lot of cases before I moved.

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Speaker 3: I would say yes to every little opportunity because although

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Speaker 3: I make a quote unquote good living, I also take

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Speaker 3: care of people in my house. Out of my house,

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Speaker 3: my business got bills, and if you're a business own

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Speaker 3: the build, the money goes up down uptown. And so

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Speaker 3: there were times where from month to months at a

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Speaker 3: time I couldn't save a penny, you know, because I

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Speaker 3: got to take care of everybody and everything. And so

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Speaker 3: to me, I was I finally been in a position

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Speaker 3: my life where if I want to say no, I

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Speaker 3: don't want to take on that opportunity. I can afford

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Speaker 3: to say no because my living expenses are far more

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Speaker 3: manageable now.

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Speaker 6: Yes, I'll tell you, how do you deal with when

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Speaker 6: you go to other parts of the world language barriers?

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Speaker 6: Because I know for a lot of people that can

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Speaker 6: be a big thing to go. I'm not going nowhere,

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Speaker 6: and I don't understand the language.

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Speaker 3: I'm dealing with that right now. So I'm visiting with

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Speaker 3: my nephew and he is the He is very calm,

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Speaker 3: he doesn't party, doesn't drink then do anything like that.

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Speaker 3: And so he chose to live in a distant, distant

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Speaker 3: suburb of Bangkok where nothing is in English. No one

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Speaker 3: speaks English. The menus, even when you go into the

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Speaker 3: apps to order food. He's the app called grab here.

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Speaker 3: It's like Uber East, but nothing is in English. And

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Speaker 3: so I am continuously like, I don't know what to do,

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Speaker 3: you know, so I don't know what I just try

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Speaker 3: to guess what the food is, and so we Google

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Speaker 3: Translate helps a lot, you know, I can speak reach

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Speaker 3: it out and so that helps a great deal. And

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Speaker 3: what I found is that for the most part, people

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Speaker 3: are very accommodated and try to help you. You know,

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Speaker 3: pointing and gesturing can take you really far. So it's

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Speaker 3: not as challenging as you would think. But I'm not

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Speaker 3: going to say that it's easy either.

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Speaker 4: And then also, you've been doing this for ten years,

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Speaker 4: like online influence, all this stuff talking what was the

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Speaker 4: like how'd you get your start? What was the like

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Speaker 4: what was the transition from like I'm you know, I'm imagining,

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Speaker 4: you know, I'm like everybody's cool friend that they're like,

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Speaker 4: you know, oh man, this person you should you should

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Speaker 4: do stand up with something.

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Speaker 5: And then one day you were like, actually, I am

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Speaker 5: gonna start doing something.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't want to age myself longer than

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Speaker 3: ten years. I was a bit on. But I will

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Speaker 3: say this. What got me started with Max boyfriend, but

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Speaker 3: he was in the record industry. I'm very introverted. People

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Speaker 3: don't believe that because when I'm in my person owner

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Speaker 3: on camera, you know, they see something different. But I'm

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Speaker 3: extremely injury, is very shy, and so with him, he

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Speaker 3: was the extrovert. And when we would be at home,

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Speaker 3: you know, in the evening, we'd be smoking and talking,

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Speaker 3: and you know, when you's smoking at all these philosophical

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Speaker 3: ideas and then I would just talk a different ideas.

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Speaker 3: I was funny. I'd tell jokes and everything. And I

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Speaker 3: knew I was funny all along, so I would tell

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Speaker 3: jokes people I was around, and he said to me,

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Speaker 3: he's called me Sunshine, he said, he said, Sunshine. I

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Speaker 3: think he'd be real good on this thing called YouTube.

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Speaker 3: And because he was in the music industry, he knew

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Speaker 3: about YouTube because at the time, they would put music

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Speaker 3: videos on it.

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Speaker 5: Correct And I was like, what is that.

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Speaker 3: He's like, it's kind of new, but just try and

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Speaker 3: put a video on there. And I said, what would

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Speaker 3: I talk about? He said, talk about talk about when

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Speaker 3: we went out last night. We've gone out to some

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Speaker 3: club and all the men there were dl and blah

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Speaker 3: blah blah blah. So he said, tell that story. Tell

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Speaker 3: that story. And so I didn't have a camera, stand,

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Speaker 3: a ring light or anything like that. So I grabbed

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Speaker 3: a lamp, put it behind my little I had a

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Speaker 3: Dell laptop, and I put on my eye my Dell laptop,

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Speaker 3: and I put on an ironing board because the ironing

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Speaker 3: board was kind of I love with this guy. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And then I filmed it with this big old shadow

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Speaker 3: behind me, set the lamp in front of me, and

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Speaker 3: I told the story and it was funny. And so

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Speaker 3: I think I got like maybe ten thousand views that

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Speaker 3: first day. And I was like, Wow, people are willing

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Speaker 3: to watch me, you know. And so that inspired me

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Speaker 3: to keep going. To realize that he helped shake me

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Speaker 3: a lot. He says, you know what you are. He says,

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Speaker 3: you're funny, You're a storyteller. But you are good at advice.

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Speaker 3: He says, so no matter what you do, it needs

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Speaker 3: to be funny, be a story, or be advice. I

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Speaker 3: always keep it in mind, and I always kept that

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Speaker 3: in my mind. And over the years, as we start

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Speaker 3: to be able to make income through social media. When

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Speaker 3: they start monetizing things, I you know, got more structure

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Speaker 3: to it and it's but it's really still the same

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Speaker 3: brand that it was all those years ago. Funny stories

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Speaker 3: or advice.

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Speaker 4: That's that's that's amazing because like when the Internet and

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Speaker 4: YouTube and everything was like fresh and new, right, Like

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Speaker 4: we started our podcast thirteen fourteen years ago at this

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Speaker 4: at this point and it was like everything was new.

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Speaker 5: There was no real structure format. People were just out here.

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Speaker 6: You didn't know how to put stuff up on iTunes.

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Speaker 6: We had to figure that out on our own. Like yeah,

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Speaker 6: we like like we really you like you brought up

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Speaker 6: the ironing board we used.

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Speaker 4: We used to have a microphone that we sat on

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Speaker 4: the desktop speakers that we would use the desktop computer

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Speaker 4: speakers and so if we had a guest, they would

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Speaker 4: basically be on Skype on the phone. It's like a

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Speaker 4: conference call, is what the audience was hearing at the time.

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Speaker 5: Yes, turned the speakers in so that they could hear.

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Speaker 4: We didn't have the radio technology like an NPR or anything,

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Speaker 4: but we just kind of made it work, right. But

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Speaker 4: but it's that kind of innovation though, that is so

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Speaker 4: interesting because one black people.

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Speaker 5: We be innovating.

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Speaker 4: We have to be, cause I know at that time

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Speaker 4: we were definitely one of the first podcasts to have

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Speaker 4: guests like that weren't in the room with you. But

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Speaker 4: also it's the fact that how you said, the brand

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Speaker 4: hasn't changed after all those times. It's so interesting because

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Speaker 4: that is what people come into the game now looking for,

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Speaker 4: like what is my purpose gonna be?

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Speaker 5: What is my structure gonna be?

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Speaker 4: And then to hit on all three things right out

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Speaker 4: the gate like funny boom, storytelling boom, advice boom, and

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Speaker 4: to still be able to do that, Like are you

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Speaker 4: does it ever? Is it a thing where it ever

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Speaker 4: gets like you're like, man, I should mix it up

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Speaker 4: or I'm getting tired of it.

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Speaker 5: Have you ever experimented over those years with different things?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I've experimented. I mean, when I started

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Speaker 3: out it was just inspirational stories. I had a couple

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Speaker 3: of years where my erotic storytelling did extremely well, which

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Speaker 3: is very different anything I've ever done, even toured with that, Wow,

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Speaker 3: you know we did, you know the series and everything

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Speaker 3: like that. So I've experimented with different forms of storytelling,

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Speaker 3: different forms of humor, different forms of inspiration, but ultimately

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Speaker 3: it was always within those three lanes. It was just

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Speaker 3: the packaging or the production I experimented with. And I

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Speaker 3: think the thing for me was this was I recognized

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Speaker 3: that as a black gay man on camera, there were

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Speaker 3: only but so many spaces that people were going to

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Speaker 3: be willing to advance me. And at least when I

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Speaker 3: was in LA it was always well, you know, we

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Speaker 3: could put you in this, but do you know how

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Speaker 3: to do hair? Do you know do makeup? You want

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Speaker 3: to do this? You do that? Those are honorable things

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Speaker 3: to do, but I'm not gifted in those ears. I

350
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Speaker 3: can't give I can't do a queer I make over

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Speaker 3: on anyone. I buy my clothes on Amazon half the time.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what to kill you, you know. And

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Speaker 3: so for me, I'm just like, you know, I realized

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Speaker 3: that these are the lanes that I fit in, and

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Speaker 3: I have a belief that it's my goal to focus

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Speaker 3: on what I say, find what you do best, and

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Speaker 3: find other people to do the rest.

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Speaker 4: I found what I did, and I focus in on

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Speaker 4: that that's dope, and then like there's some benefit to it,

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Speaker 4: and like it sucked that people weren't able to see like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: here's your strength. We gotta we gotta work with you,

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Speaker 4: you gotta put you on something. But in a way

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Speaker 4: it kind of creates like it's on independence because you

364
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Speaker 4: can't really depend on them to give you a space,

365
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Speaker 4: so you make your own space. And now looking around,

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Speaker 4: everybody wants their own space. I'm you know, I'm watching.

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Speaker 4: It's interesting being like independent media over the years because

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Speaker 4: you know, you pay attention to what trends and what's happening,

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Speaker 4: you know, And one of the things I'm noticing now

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Speaker 4: people that are working in typically classical media spaces, like

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Speaker 4: like say say you're a sports person, you work on ESPN, MSNBC,

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Speaker 4: you're broadcaster.

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Speaker 5: They're all trying to get into our lane.

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Speaker 6: All these people they're trying to find on YouTube path

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Speaker 6: but financing it themselves. It's interesting like finding a way

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Speaker 6: to branch off because I personally think, particularly with a

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Speaker 6: lot of kind of the black and the brown and

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Speaker 6: other people, I personally think that people are getting tired

379
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Speaker 6: of Hitney ceilings. People are getting tired of They want

380
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Speaker 6: to do these projects, and they want to do things

381
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Speaker 6: and present it on a larger platform, but it's always

382
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Speaker 6: a wall. There's always somebody tell you no, it's always

383
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Speaker 6: somebody to tell you that. The masses don't want to

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Speaker 6: hear it. And also I think that they see a

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Speaker 6: lot of independent people making money. It might not be

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Speaker 6: as much, but they have freedom that they don't have,

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Speaker 6: so they don't got to split it. Right, You ain't

388
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Speaker 6: got to split it. You ain't gotta cut it. You know,

389
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Speaker 6: you your own boss, which is his own thing. But

390
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Speaker 6: if you're willing to be your own boss, you can

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Speaker 6: get the rewards that come with it too. Everybody always

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Speaker 6: talking about the downfalls and which there is, but there's

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Speaker 6: a lot of reward with having the ability to say no,

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Speaker 6: we're not doing that.

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Speaker 5: Because I just think.

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Speaker 4: People see the freedom, you know, like MJ curses. There's

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Speaker 4: so there's people on your TV right now. They curse,

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Speaker 4: but they know not that they can't do it on TV.

399
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 4: No they can't, and they see that and it's a

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Speaker 4: little bit of like, man, I wish I was doing that,

401
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Speaker 4: you know when I watch like for example, Shannon Sharp

402
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,119
Speaker 4: and Steven A. Smith, who are legacy like sports media.

403
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,719
Speaker 4: Now they're doing YouTube shows with Kat Williams right now.

404
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Speaker 4: They're talking about dating, they're talking about sex and it's

405
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Speaker 4: like watch, look at y'all coming over here. Look at

406
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 4: y'all Like this is so there's something that like you

407
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 4: were so far ahead of the curve.

408
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Speaker 5: The curve is coming to you now.

409
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 4: You know, TikTok and all this stuff, influencer culture, that's

410
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 4: that's where you started, and that's where they're trying to

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Speaker 4: get to. So, I mean, you know, it's just kind

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Speaker 4: of dope. And now you've written a book. Yes, first

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Speaker 4: of all, how hard is it to write a book?

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Speaker 4: Because that seems very difficult.

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Speaker 5: Yes, it does.

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Speaker 3: It is extremely time consuming. It's extremely time consuming as

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Speaker 3: first you got to structure your ideas. Then it's the

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Speaker 3: actual process of putting the book together, and then there's

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Speaker 3: the editing reviews where you know you've got most people

420
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Speaker 3: going through it to tell you the input you should

421
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,760
Speaker 3: change it, you should change that. So you got to

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Speaker 3: go through that process. And then if you do an

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Speaker 3: audible and audiobook, which I do recommend now because a

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00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 3: lot of people prefer that, then it's recording that, which

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Speaker 3: is its boom process. So it's a process. I'll be

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Speaker 3: honest with you and Telly, I didn't want to do

427
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Speaker 3: it when they first came to me to ask me

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Speaker 3: to be open to do a book. I said no,

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Speaker 3: and they came back to me a year later and

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Speaker 3: I said yes that point in time, because my logic was,

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Speaker 3: do I really want to put this much time into something?

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Speaker 3: And I'm not the biggest reader. I'm more of a

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Speaker 3: YouTube video watcher, more of an audio book listener, and

434
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 3: so to me, I'm like, well, I underestimated how many

435
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 3: people value books. But I do think that if you're

436
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 3: a creator of any kind, if you're a public speaker

437
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 3: of any kind, I do think that there's benefits to

438
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 3: having a book, even if it's a tiny book, because

439
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 3: there is a certain level of access to pr opportunities

440
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 3: that seem to open up when you have that book.

441
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 3: And I've heard that before, but to experience it, I

442
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 3: do think it helps your brand. And you don't have

443
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 3: to go through a major publisher. It's great if you can,

444
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 3: but if that's not your path, self publishing also can

445
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 3: open those doors as well.

446
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 5: And also, like what, you haven't been in the game

447
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 5: this long. You had to live your life life in

448
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 5: front of your audience too, So like yes, what and like.

449
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 4: You know, I think now people now as social media

450
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 4: as ubiquitous more people, we kind of know the score,

451
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 4: but back then we didn't necessarily know the score, right, So,

452
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 4: like you had to deal with people's opinions on your

453
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 4: life and they're like reactions to your opinions and stuff

454
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 4: like that.

455
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 5: What has that been like? And is it something you

456
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 5: ever like got Are you used to it?

457
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 3: Now?

458
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 4: Have you erected like your barriers and stuff? And you're like,

459
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 4: all right, I got it?

460
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 3: You know, I have not gotten used to think. That's

461
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,880
Speaker 3: not anything I've ever gotten used to. I'm an introvert,

462
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 3: you know, And if I'm being one hundred cent trans

463
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,280
Speaker 3: one hundred percent transparent with you, I don't really care

464
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 3: for the experience of walking out people knowing my face.

465
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 3: I don't really like that. I'm not It's not a

466
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,159
Speaker 3: flattering experience for people to come up to me and

467
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 3: want to take a picture honored. I've never said no,

468
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,199
Speaker 3: I'm always friendly, but it's not something I'm like, who

469
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: does are egos? I don't feel that, And so for me,

470
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 3: I think I was a bit naive when I came

471
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 3: into it because I didn't know it would be this popular.

472
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 3: I was doing a video when that I'm in boored

473
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 3: you know, and over the time, it just grew and grew,

474
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 3: and so I feel really blessed that I've been able

475
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 3: to build this platform, and I feel very grateful for that,

476
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 3: and no matter what discomfort I feel at times, I

477
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: feel very blessed by it. But even within your blessings,

478
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,640
Speaker 3: you can still have areas that you're like, Okay, huh,

479
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 3: I got to learn to deal with your part. So

480
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 3: what I tell people is, if you want to come

481
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 3: into this whole social media digital space and you have

482
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 3: a purpose, then you will be able to tolerate and

483
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 3: work with the positis and the negatis of it because

484
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 3: you're focused on the purpose. If you're coming into it

485
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 3: only for the fame, my recommendation is that you do

486
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 3: it in such a way where you can make a

487
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 3: lot of money, because if that thing turns out to

488
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,199
Speaker 3: be something that you don't like dealing with, you're going

489
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 3: to need that money to insulate yourself from some aspects

490
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 3: of it, and it can be very expensive to insulate

491
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,479
Speaker 3: yourself from those aspects of things. So just think very

492
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 3: careful before you put yourself in a position to have

493
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 3: lots of people know your face.

494
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 6: When was the first time somebody recognized you like out

495
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 6: in public because you know, you just live your day

496
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,640
Speaker 6: to day life. The first time somebody was like hey,

497
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 6: I know you, Like like, like, how did you respond

498
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 6: to that? Because I know it varies per person because

499
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 6: you're just living your normal life. Then all of a

500
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 6: sudden you begin to get recognized. And that's not normal

501
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 6: for most people unless you have something from an intimate relationship.

502
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 5: I went to school with you, a college love, so

503
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 5: I think work.

504
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 6: Something, but just people just just like, hey, I know

505
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 6: you and you're going down your rollo decks and you're like,

506
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 6: don't I.

507
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 5: Don't think I know you?

508
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 6: Right?

509
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 3: It was it was probably about ten or so years ago,

510
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 3: and what happened was people would come up, So I

511
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,640
Speaker 3: learned how people do it. Most for the most part,

512
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 3: they don't come up screaming a thing as you sometimes,

513
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 3: but for the most part, what they do is they

514
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 3: say do I know you from somewhere? And sometimes they're

515
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 3: trying to figure out Sometimes that's just their way in.

516
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 3: And so when that would happen, I would be like,

517
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 3: I didn't know, that's why they're coming to me. So

518
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know do you? And I'll

519
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: be trying to go through what little church you go

520
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 3: there you live. I'm trying to figure it out with them,

521
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 3: and my mother was with me a lot. Because my

522
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 3: mother helped me with my friends. She was kind of

523
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 3: behind the scenes for a long time. And so she

524
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 3: finally said to me one day, I remember at the

525
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 3: National Harbor outside of DC, and so when it come

526
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,439
Speaker 3: up to me and she said, are you comprehending what's happening?

527
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 3: I was like no, And she says, people know who

528
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 3: you are. And she's like saying it simply to my faith,

529
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 3: like looking at me like this, and I was like really,

530
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,639
Speaker 3: She's like, yes, these people know who are. You are

531
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 3: achieving some level of fame. And so I think when

532
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 3: that sunk in for me, I was like, wow, it

533
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 3: was surreal. But I'll tell you what, it kind of

534
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 3: flipped it for me because at first it's like, oh, okay,

535
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 3: but I think where it kind of made me shrink

536
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 3: inward a little bit. To be quite honest, I became

537
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: more introverted as a result of it. Was I remember

538
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 3: I was living in LA I just went to La

539
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 3: So this had to been maybe eight years ago or

540
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,400
Speaker 3: some point that and I was walked. I came down

541
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 3: Wilcha Boulevard not too far from the grove, and a

542
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 3: car drove by me and then lift out the window.

543
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 3: Kind of felt a little creepy. And then he drove

544
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 3: back around and he's riding slow down the sidewalk right

545
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 3: beside me, looking at me like this. So I'm like,

546
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:16,719
Speaker 3: this is so scary. I'm I gonna have to run.

547
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 3: I'm I gonna have to grab a stick and beat

548
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 3: his ass. What am I gonna have to do? And

549
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 3: so I'm like trying to go through this in my

550
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 3: mind and he's like, you that dude from online, right,

551
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,479
Speaker 3: and then that's an it kind of it was kind

552
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 3: of weird for me. So I was like, I don't

553
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 3: always know people's intentions right when they're coming. And so

554
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 3: I went into therapy. I did. I went to therapy

555
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 3: to learn how to cope with my new reality because

556
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 3: this is a new reality and like not normal, not

557
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 3: necessarily bad, this is not normal. So I found a therapist.

558
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 3: I did a lot of research, and I found a

559
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 3: therapist in LA who specifically work with people who have

560
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 3: newfound things and learned how to process it, learned how

561
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 3: to make them within my own life so that I

562
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 3: can live within this experience as a blessing rather than

563
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 3: living in this experience as a constant challenge.

564
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: Right.

565
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, like the first few times we got

566
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 4: recognize our places, it is a little startling because it's

567
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 4: kind of like, like you said, you're trying to place

568
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 4: like did you did you go to school with me

569
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 4: or whatever?

570
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 5: Yeah? Exactly.

571
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 4: But you know, fortunate for us, it's been mostly, you know,

572
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 4: a really positive experience.

573
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 5: You have some pretty dope fans out there.

574
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 4: I remember we were walking out the street looking for

575
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 4: a restaurant one time and a guy jumped out of

576
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,640
Speaker 4: the front door the rest of a restaurant and goes

577
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 4: Frederick Karen.

578
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 5: We were like, what's happening? Yes, but so like you know,

579
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 5: like you said, it's.

580
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 4: Really more about mentally adjusting to it because it's gonna happen.

581
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 4: I mean, hopefully it's gonna happen as a byproduct or

582
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 4: whatever you do. But what about like the online interactions,

583
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 4: because I think one is, especially being on the internet

584
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 4: when when social media stuff first started, I feel like it.

585
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 5: Was a little everyone was naive to it. Good and bad. Right,

586
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 5: it was good and bad.

587
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 6: You know.

588
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 5: It's why new episodes of Catfish don't hit because we

589
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 5: like you ain't no. But the first the first season,

590
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, it was must watch TV.

591
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're all we're all jaded now, But back in

592
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 4: the day, you know, like the you get the YouTube comments.

593
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 4: I think also before like things got so politicized and polarized,

594
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 4: people people would checking the content a little with a

595
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 4: little bit more like, oh, let me see what's going

596
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 4: on on this channel, as opposed to like already came

597
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 4: from my preconceived notions and opinions and stuff.

598
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 5: So like, have you experienced that change over the years

599
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 5: of the Internet.

600
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely feel like I've experienced over the years,

601
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 3: people have become more vitriolic online. They you know, there's

602
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 3: some people where their intention when they go online and

603
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 3: write a comment is to be hurtful towards whoever they're

604
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 3: in that that is their intention. There's nothing else within

605
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,479
Speaker 3: their intention. And so one of the things I've had

606
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 3: to learn to do because people say, well, just don't

607
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 3: read them. How the fuck are you not gonna read

608
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 3: a comment just under your It just doesn't work like that,

609
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 3: you know, And so I use those hidden words features

610
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 3: a lot, where we have thousands of them in there.

611
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 3: You know, people are not that creative with their insults,

612
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 3: so certain words just those so we don't even see

613
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 3: those comments. You know, for my actual business, you know,

614
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 3: anything that comes into me through email, I don't see

615
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 3: that immediately, So that goes through someone who reads the

616
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 3: emails for me. So they have permission to not send

617
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 3: me that stuff. I don't need to see someone's feedback

618
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 3: about that. I don't need to see that you didn't

619
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 3: like my head that day and you didn't like mine whatever.

620
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 3: That's not really important to me. And so I've learned

621
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 3: to insulate myself. But also the biggest thing I could

622
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 3: do was to talk to my friends. I remember I

623
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 3: had a friend who he felt it was his job

624
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 3: to whenever he saw a mean creative about me or

625
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 3: see anything about me, sending this did you see this?

626
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 3: And so finally what I had to tell them is this,

627
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 3: I said, within our friendship, I'm looking for a place

628
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 3: of peace, right, I'm not looking bring me the dog

629
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 3: to bring the bump. And so with that understood, do

630
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 3: not ever bring me anything that you've seen about me online.

631
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 3: If it's important enough, trust and believe I will see it,

632
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 3: or someone within my organization will see it. You only

633
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 3: bring to me topics that are related to our friendship,

634
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 3: because for me, you're disturbing the sacred space of our

635
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 3: friendship when you bring the outside.

636
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 4: Yes, and He's and like also, you know, because I

637
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 4: found that too. Like there's been times online where like

638
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 4: people had something like something we said on the podcast,

639
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 4: a viral tweet something, you know, and it's a bunch

640
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 4: of strangers that don't know me, and they're saying stuff

641
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 4: that they wouldn't say to me if we were like

642
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 4: in person, And.

643
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 5: It used to get to me really bad.

644
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 4: But once again, it was solace in like friendships and

645
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 4: relationships offline that really helped me too, because it was like, uh, one,

646
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 4: the thing is like, if something is bothering me that

647
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 4: I've seen online and I bring it to you as

648
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 4: a friend, that's a much safer transaction, right because I'm like, Yo,

649
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 4: this crazy thing happened to me, and normally that person

650
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 4: is like that was a crazy thing, as opposed to

651
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 4: them being like did you see what they said to you?

652
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 4: You know, like like i'd rather you, I'd rather bring

653
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: it to you and we can key key about it.

654
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 4: And I think but I think a lot of people

655
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 4: are doing that, because that was what I was saying.

656
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 4: Also about the vitra all on the internet. It's gotten

657
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 4: toxic up for like everybody.

658
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 5: Yes, you know what I mean.

659
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 4: It's like like I think there was a time where

660
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 4: it was like, well, if you're famous on the internet

661
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 4: is bad. Now it's just like if you on the internet,

662
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 4: it's bad, like if if you're just there.

663
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 6: And Roger brought up a great point because, like I say,

664
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 6: we interact very very differently online and over the years

665
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 6: I have kind of cut back how I interact online period.

666
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 6: And what people fail to realize famous are not famous

667
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 6: unless it's a bot. The other person on the side

668
00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 6: of that post is a person. They got feelings and

669
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 6: emotions and insecurities, all types of things flowing through their brains.

670
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 5: And people have a tendency to forget that part sometimes.

671
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 6: And so uh, I am very grateful for my husband

672
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 6: because like, and I know the fans don't mean no harm.

673
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 6: And I'm better at it than I used to be

674
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 6: because where as mean things to me. So yeah, and

675
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 6: the thing about the Internet, when something is posting you

676
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 6: read it, I can't hear your tone. I don't know

677
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 6: what your tenage like like a lot of times, like

678
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 6: like all all though, all that context is stripped and

679
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 6: I'm old, so I like to know these things, and

680
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 6: so you know, it would be times, and like I said,

681
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 6: I'm not as bad as I used to be, it'll

682
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 6: be times.

683
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 5: Well I would literally look at Roger and I would

684
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 5: be going off and I'm like what he'd be like.

685
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 6: And on top of it, I don't be knowing the

686
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 6: slang or none of that East shit either, So Roger,

687
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 6: you have to explain to me this is what they meant.

688
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 4: I'd be like, oh, okay, Yeah, it's funny because like

689
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 4: I was the person that would more than likely be

690
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 4: the one to reply to someone, but Karen will.

691
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 5: She'll be like, oh no, I don't reply to people.

692
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 4: And then people are like, oh, cause she's more mature,

693
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 4: she knows how to handle.

694
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 5: I'm like, no, she cussing in me.

695
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 4: She's talking, she's not cussing y'all out, I'm not putting online. Yeah,

696
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 4: she's doing all the cussing in person. And y'all just

697
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 4: don't know behind the scenes what it's like. She's mad too, me, yes,

698
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 4: because you're human, but but I think it is, like, yeah,

699
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 4: I think it's also like a there's like a callus.

700
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 4: You get a little bit there's like, you know, it's

701
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 4: like I've been here before. I think when I was

702
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 4: in therapy too. I think it also helped me to

703
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 4: see like how much people's stuff is not about you,

704
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 4: you know, so like if you give some this this

705
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 4: is a big thing on TikTok and stuff. Now, you

706
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 4: give some advice, right and someone's in a situation where

707
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 4: it wouldn't apply to them specifically, and it's like the reply,

708
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 4: you know, it's like, hey, I made care cake and

709
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 4: they're like, I'm allergic carrots.

710
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 5: It's like I'm not.

711
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 4: I'm no longer offended by that. That is just now like, oh,

712
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 4: so you have some problem somewhere and I'm sorry that

713
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 4: that happened to you. But for people to eat Carris,

714
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 4: this is this is the recipe.

715
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 5: You know what I mean, we have to ignore you

716
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 5: you do.

717
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 3: And I like that you mentioned about it thickens your skin,

718
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 3: and to me at this point, you know what, I'm

719
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 3: sure for you both as well, when you put yourself

720
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 3: out there for so long, you will get a thicker skin.

721
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 3: One of the process of thickening is not always easy,

722
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 3: but at this point in time, I have a thicker skin.

723
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 3: If I see something that I don't like, you know, well,

724
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 3: my solution delete the comment. If you don't want to.

725
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 3: The comment doesn't have to exist. This is in the

726
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 3: morning post. Everyone doesn't deserve to have the editorial on

727
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 3: my post. And so you know, I you know, delete it,

728
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 3: ignore it, whatever it may be, move on. One of

729
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 3: the things that my therapists told me years ago with

730
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 3: she said, I want you to picture someone living in

731
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 3: the most just horrible circumstances mentally, emotionally, physically, financially or whatever.

732
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 3: Picture them sitting in that like miserable, just just miserable,

733
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 3: and picture that that's the person who sat and broke

734
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 3: that comment to you. And I said, well, why picture that?

735
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 3: She said, because anyone who goes out of their way

736
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 3: to try to harm someone emotionally that they don't know,

737
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 3: you know, just because they watch it, but it doesn't

738
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 3: mean they know you, right, did go out away and

739
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,760
Speaker 3: try to harm you. Probably is someone who is hurting

740
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 3: in some part of the life. Happens you don't do that.

741
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 3: So the physical manifestation of how they look and sometimes

742
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: like okay, but that's that's easy enough. I have to

743
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 3: teach my nephew's the same thing because they came into

744
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 3: thing at like seventeen years old, and so how to

745
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 3: navigate that was one of the things I taught them.

746
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, and these kids now like they grew up with

747
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 4: the internet. Like for me and Karen, like we had

748
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 4: a good fifteen twenty years, whereas like, oh, you're weird

749
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 4: if you're on the computer on the internet.

750
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 5: No one's doing that. You're weird. What you date no

751
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 5: line for like ZAC couldn't proceed.

752
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 4: That was weird back then. Now everybody's doing it. So

753
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 4: like you know, like with my niece and stuff, she's

754
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 4: barely online. I think that's because the kids. The kids

755
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 4: are over it. Like the kids are less, like they're like,

756
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 4: why would I tell a little internet that you know

757
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 4: where I'm like, like, I feel old because I'm the

758
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 4: one that's like, oh, let's let's show my outfits for Christmas.

759
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 4: They're like, why we got the outfice were right here.

760
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, they've learned to live with it and have some boundaries.

761
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,800
Speaker 3: I have. One of my nephews is, although he is

762
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 3: a social media presence, he barely checks his page. And

763
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 3: I said, you don't check their social media. He's like, no,

764
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 3: they do it since the world knows how exists. But

765
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 3: like Completeland said, it's like like it's fairy tale lamps,

766
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 3: Like it's not real. It's like whatever I'm gonna go.

767
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 4: They really be like you know what I'm saying, Like

768
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 4: they post just to be like, hey, guys, still alive,

769
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 4: see you in six months. I'm like, how can you

770
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 4: even have the discipline to do that, because I'm gonna

771
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 4: be on there scrolling liking stuff and replying.

772
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 5: You know, it's exactly.

773
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 3: So.

774
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 4: Also, what you've given advice, Like when did you realize

775
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 4: you had to pinch for advice? Was it because other

776
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 4: people told you their advice was good? Or was it

777
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 4: like you know what, were you just giving advice to

778
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 4: your friends and they were like, man, you need to

779
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 4: sell this shit like that?

780
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 5: How you figure it out?

781
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 3: I think, well, because I've always been very very pragmatic.

782
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 3: Even as like a six year old, I was very pragmatic.

783
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 3: It could always kind of just cut right through and

784
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,800
Speaker 3: say hey, why don't you try that? And so throughout

785
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 3: my life, if there were two things I knew to

786
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 3: be true about myself, I knew that I was funny

787
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 3: that people generally laughed at you when I spoke in

788
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:36,280
Speaker 3: a positive way, and I knew that people generally valued

789
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 3: what I had to say if they asked my opinion.

790
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 3: I didn't know that that could be turned into a

791
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,439
Speaker 3: business in any way. But I didn't know that. Okay,

792
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 3: you know my thoughts come to me in that way.

793
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,800
Speaker 3: And you know, I don't know what everyone's belief system is,

794
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 3: but you know, I was raised a Christian, and so

795
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,320
Speaker 3: for me, I believed that not I stutica believe that

796
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 3: that is my gift. I think that your gift is

797
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 3: the way I always say, your gift is the way

798
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 3: that you're creator embodies him or herself with in you.

799
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 3: And for me, the way that my creative embodies him

800
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 3: or herself within me is still giving me insight that

801
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 3: happens to be helpful for a lot of people.

802
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 6: Now.

803
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 4: I also saw on your website that you've been endorsed

804
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 4: by Oprah and Tabitha Brown.

805
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 5: What like, what is that?

806
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 6: Like?

807
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 5: How did what is that? Did you meet them?

808
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 6: Did you did?

809
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 5: Did they just see you online? They were like, oh

810
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 5: my god, y'all need to listeners, brother, Like, how did

811
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 5: that work well?

812
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 3: For Oprah? I met her an event, and she was

813
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 3: just fabulous and gave me the opportunity to share my

814
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: story and share my business. But Tabitha, you know how

815
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: I came across Tabitha Because this is in no way

816
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 3: to take away from Oprah. But I say, if there's

817
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 3: a tap, if there's an Oprah of our generation, yes

818
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 3: it is I and my mother. This was years ago.

819
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 3: My mother was washing Tabitha and Tabitha's brand was growing

820
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,439
Speaker 3: really fast, but she wasn't where she is at this time.

821
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 3: And so my mother's like this this woman online, she's

822
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 3: she talks about Beacon food a lot. You should you should?

823
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 3: You should watch her? I have her on your platform

824
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 3: or something like that, because I like her a lot,

825
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,479
Speaker 3: and so I didn't I at the time, I didn't

826
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 3: watch her. And so I looked her up and managed

827
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 3: to find her email address online someplace, because at this point,

828
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 3: Tabitha was growing, but her email was online. So I

829
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 3: sent her and he I said, Hi, my name is M. J. Harris.

830
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 3: My mother recommended you. I was very transparent, as my

831
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 3: mother recommended them that I speak with you and see

832
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 3: if we can film together. And she says, I know

833
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 3: who you are. Here's my phone number. And so I

834
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 3: called her up and at the time we probably lived

835
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 3: about fifteen minutes from each other, just by coincidence, and

836
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 3: she came over my house and we filmed two or

837
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 3: three videos together over the course like the next couple months.

838
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 3: And Tabitha has been an amazing in an industry we

839
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 3: throw around the world friends, that's my friend, that's my friend.

840
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 3: Tabitha's not someone that I called to say, how was

841
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 3: your dad? That's not our experience. But she has been

842
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 3: someone who has been an industry's sister to me. And

843
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,839
Speaker 3: what I mean by that is that there have been

844
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 3: times where I've been offered to do something or offered

845
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 3: a deal and I have no context around Am I

846
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 3: being paid fairly? Is this fair? And I can call

847
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 3: her up and I'll say, hey, you know, just quick

848
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,399
Speaker 3: question for you. Is this fair? You know, I don't

849
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 3: even know when you did X, y Z. You ain't

850
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 3: got to tell me your exact numbers, but would you

851
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 3: have accepted this? And she can tell me, well, yes

852
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 3: that is, or consider this or consider that, or I

853
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 3: remember what, I need to hire a lawyer years ago

854
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:28,800
Speaker 3: because I was growing up. I need this one to

855
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 3: help me with doing contracts. She says, Oh, call this person.

856
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 3: She has been She's never been a gatekeeper. What you

857
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 3: see in Tabitha online is exactly who she is. She

858
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 3: is that sincere, that kind, that wonderful, And I just

859
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 3: sing her praises because I can say that although when

860
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 3: she started out, you know, my platform was bigger than hers.

861
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 3: Now her platform is way bigger than mine, that even

862
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 3: within that transition of experience, she has remained solid and

863
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 3: just wonderful to me. And I am truly grateful for her,

864
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 3: and I celebrate her success and I want her to

865
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 3: become as big as humanly possible.

866
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, man, I watched uh well, we used to

867
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 4: watch Compliplated do the.

868
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 5: Show Network Network, and I love the show.

869
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 4: And then too there was like behind the scenes stuff

870
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 4: they was trying to change Tabatha. I was like, oh, cancel,

871
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,919
Speaker 4: get out of here, Food Network. We're don't messing with y'all.

872
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 4: We won't see nothing.

873
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:20,919
Speaker 5: Over there no more.

874
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 4: But y'alln't mess with Tabitha like that. She just she

875
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 4: just seems to have such like a dope energy, you

876
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 4: know what I mean. And especially I think a lot

877
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 4: of people glombed onto her because it was especially at

878
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 4: a time where like so much stuff was vitriolic. So

879
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 4: much stuff was like a hot take or like a

880
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 4: mean thing or something. And I remember like the first

881
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 4: videos on like TikTok of her just being like, hey,

882
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 4: have a good day, and people were like, oh yeah,

883
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 4: I just want a good day.

884
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:49,919
Speaker 3: Man.

885
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 5: It's COVID outside they killing people. I'm just you think

886
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 5: you like, I gotta share this. Somebody needs to see

887
00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 5: what is happening now.

888
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 4: Also, I've seen your videos too and that and that's

889
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 4: a very like, uh, it's an energy there too. That's

890
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 4: like but it's but it's more, it's more intense. It's like,

891
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 4: come on, you got the you know the motherfuckers talk

892
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 4: about you?

893
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 5: Why you keep going down the house?

894
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,879
Speaker 3: That approach. I love that approach because for me, that's

895
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 3: how I talk to myself. So what I bring to

896
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 3: to to viewers is my logic is this. If I've

897
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 3: gone through it, someone else has gone through it. If

898
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:30,879
Speaker 3: I'm going through someone else is going through it. There's

899
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 3: nothing new under the sun. And so I can tell

900
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 3: you even earlier early well yesterday, I had woken up

901
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 3: and I saw an email that I didn't like. It

902
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 3: was nothing made. This is an email that I didn't like,

903
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh gosh, I did deal with

904
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 3: the X y Z today whatever it was. And I

905
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 3: literally said to myself, I was like, ho, the fuck up.

906
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 3: Hold the fuck up. You are sitting in Bangkok right now,

907
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 3: visiting with your nephew son that you have raised to

908
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 3: be financially independent to the point where he can live

909
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 3: in another country. You are able to travel with the world.

910
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 3: You know, your life looks like this your half people,

911
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 3: Oh why the fuck are you gonna let this ruin

912
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 3: your morning? Response to God' just how I talk to

913
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 3: myself as I'm brushing my teeth. I talk to myself

914
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 3: in a way that empowers me to be able to

915
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 3: transform my mindset quickly. And so I bring that to

916
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 3: the audience because I know that on social media, I

917
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 3: really only have barely fifteen seconds of your time to

918
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 3: capture attention and change your mindset. So the only way

919
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 3: I know how to do that is I know how

920
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,919
Speaker 3: to do that through being very direct and in your face.

921
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I see the like comments.

922
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,439
Speaker 4: I know people gotta be sharing it, cause it really

923
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 4: is like the kind of thing is like, I'm waking

924
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 4: up this morning, I need to hear this appreciate you.

925
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 5: I'm gonna go to the gym or whatever.

926
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 3: You know.

927
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 4: I like that energy, and then like to translate that

928
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 4: into a book, like what were the topics that you

929
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 4: wanted to a broach in the book? Once again, get

930
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 4: the fuck out of your own way, A got to

931
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 4: letting go of the shit that's holding you back. What

932
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 4: were like the the like when you started outlining it.

933
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 4: What were the things you were like, I want to

934
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 4: talk about this, I want to talk about this. I

935
00:42:59,239 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 4: want to talk about that.

936
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,280
Speaker 3: I was thinking initially about what are the biggest topics

937
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 3: that have transformed my life? So learning not to be

938
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 3: a people pleaser, learning not to be afraid of rejection,

939
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 3: learn how to say no excuse me, learning how to

940
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 3: set boundaries. What were the big things that were the

941
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 3: biggest challenges for me to overcome? But I got the

942
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 3: greatest rewards out of actually doing it, because again my

943
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 3: logic is if it affected me or is affecting me,

944
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,880
Speaker 3: then it's probably affecting other people. And I think that

945
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 3: that's one of the mistakes of a lot of creators,

946
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 3: authors whoever, make is that they try to do content

947
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 3: based on what they think is going to help the

948
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 3: audience rather than doing content based on what's actually helping them.

949
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 3: I think that if you can see yourself as your

950
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 3: own focus group, that's a great starting point because if

951
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,439
Speaker 3: it touches you, it's probably going to touch somebody else.

952
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 5: And also I think it.

953
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 4: Makes people more relatable because one of the things I

954
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 4: think that can, at least for me, that turns me

955
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 4: off from advice is the people that give advice because

956
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 4: it's like I'm perfect and I'm going to give you

957
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 4: some advice because I'm better than you and you need

958
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,359
Speaker 4: to hear this, as opposed to like, I'm going through

959
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 4: the shit too. Guys, you know, here's what worked for me.

960
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 4: You know, here's what helped me out.

961
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 5: And I think that's much more relatable.

962
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 4: Did you have like inspiration for like the book and

963
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 4: for just like your general online personality?

964
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,760
Speaker 3: You know, my my nephew asked me this question yesterday.

965
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 3: He's like, he's like, who inspired you?

966
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 6: Like?

967
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 3: Who where'd you get your persona from online? From? And

968
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,800
Speaker 3: I thought about it because I watched a ton of

969
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,880
Speaker 3: self help stuff going up. You know, I grew up

970
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 3: in the church. I'd be watching you know, DDJ's It

971
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 3: was a Joyce smier like all those folks. They came

972
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:34,760
Speaker 3: on in the morning as I was getting ready for school,

973
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 3: you know, and like BT, they would come in the morning.

974
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 3: And so I would say, probably the biggest inspiration for me,

975
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,479
Speaker 3: and I don't talk about her enough, but she didn't

976
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 3: inspire me a lot. There's a woman named Joyce Meyer.

977
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 3: She's a white woman, and I was watching her as

978
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 3: a kid, and what I liked about her was that

979
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 3: she was so straightforward and so direct. She was never hurtful,

980
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 3: but very very straightforward. And I said to myself, I said,

981
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 3: if ever I were to do something like that at

982
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 3: an inkland, maybe that it could happen. If this something

983
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 3: that I want to be very straightforward, I want how

984
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 3: I want to be like her. And I don't think

985
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 3: that I consciously did it, but in retrospect I look back,

986
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I kind of do embody that just

987
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,360
Speaker 3: it's right there. Then I'm gonna and I'm gonna be

988
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 3: imperfect right in front of you. But we're gonna get

989
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 3: through this journey.

990
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 5: Together, right did what there?

991
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 4: I know you've given like relationship advice as well with

992
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 4: the I don't know if you've seen you had to

993
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:27,320
Speaker 4: have seen this.

994
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 5: Everyone's seen this, the ubiquitousness.

995
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 4: Of these like gender war like skits, Like it's just

996
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,800
Speaker 4: like I can't imagine they're real because they're so some

997
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 4: of them are, so I'm sure.

998
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 5: Some are real.

999
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 3: Restaurant that yeah last week, Yeah.

1000
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 5: Stuff like that.

1001
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,240
Speaker 4: You know, Oh, I can't go to the cheesecake factory

1002
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 4: because it's that's where the Pope people eat or whatever.

1003
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 4: You know, Like, does that stuff like give you like

1004
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 4: inspiration to do more advice?

1005
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 3: Is it?

1006
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 5: Are you?

1007
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 6: Do?

1008
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 5: You just roll your eyes a laugh at it?

1009
00:45:58,719 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 3: Like we do? Do you? Like?

1010
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 5: What are you doing with that stuff?

1011
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 3: Well? You know, I watch content just like everybody else.

1012
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 3: I'm set up in my bed at nights, rolling on

1013
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 3: the platforms, watching everything just like everybody else. So sometimes

1014
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 3: it's entertaining to me. Sometimes it definitely gives me a

1015
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 3: sense of what people are experiencing and thinking about because

1016
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,360
Speaker 3: being such an introvert, you know, I need to be

1017
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 3: but understand what people are going through because my day

1018
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 3: to day life, I talk to the same five people

1019
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: every week. You know, I don't really have a you

1020
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 3: know around me, So that's helpful in that way. But

1021
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,840
Speaker 3: I think that ultimately, when it comes down to it is,

1022
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 3: I've never been good at I tried. I've never been

1023
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 3: good at trying to give advice just on something that's trending,

1024
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 3: because I don't think that the advice comes across as

1025
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 3: authentic for me, you know, And so I just kind

1026
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 3: of stick within the lane that I talk about things

1027
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 3: that are authentic to me, that I've experienced or that

1028
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 3: I've had such deep conversations with people about that. I'm like, Okay,

1029
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 3: I get that experience. Now I think I can talk

1030
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 3: about it on your behalf. So I enjoy it, but

1031
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 3: he doesn't necessarily influence my content one way or the other.

1032
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree too, because, like with the trending stuff,

1033
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 4: what I find is that people have to do a

1034
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 4: lot of projection to make it work for them. You know,

1035
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 4: the Simon Bows and her husband do, like a podcast

1036
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:18,280
Speaker 4: so on clipped forty five seconds. People spend three weeks

1037
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 4: just being he's a narcissist, he's abusing, And I'm like,

1038
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 4: I don't know these people.

1039
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 5: They looked happy, but I actually don't know.

1040
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:29,360
Speaker 4: There's other cases where people, you know, look unhappy and

1041
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 4: being together for seventy years. I listen, I don't know them.

1042
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:36,399
Speaker 4: People those are some famous strangers, but you know I did.

1043
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 3: Want them to Simone Bows podcast. And I'll tell you

1044
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 3: why I chose to do it was because I see

1045
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 3: content every single day like everybody else. But if I

1046
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 3: see something that resonates with me and I'm like ooh,

1047
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 3: I have my own reaction as a viewer, right, But

1048
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 3: most of viewers just commenting the comments and keep it moving.

1049
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 3: Why I've got a platform, So rather than comment in

1050
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 3: the comments, I'm gonna make a video about it. And

1051
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 3: so for me, when I saw that, I remember watching

1052
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 3: it and I was thinking to myself, I didn't care

1053
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 3: for the way that he spoke about his wife in Trumps.

1054
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 3: I didn't appreciate the way he told the story about

1055
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,800
Speaker 3: it at that time, and so I chose to do

1056
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 3: a video about it.

1057
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 5: But I did went on that.

1058
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,280
Speaker 3: I did went on what was it the Keky Palmer's

1059
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 3: situation where partner posted what he had posted. And so

1060
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 3: I am willing to comment on things that I have

1061
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 3: to have a personal feeling about it. And I remember

1062
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 3: doing probably twenty twenty or twenty twenty one. I had

1063
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 3: one point in time I was worried about running out

1064
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 3: of topics. So because of the pandemic. There's a lot

1065
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 3: of creative talent that was available. So I hired a

1066
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 3: woman to be my content producer, to give me ideas

1067
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 3: about what to cover, and she would send me trending

1068
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 3: topics every Monday, and I would do none of them

1069
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 3: because none of them resonated with me. And I realized,

1070
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 3: I'm just not that type of creator. I'm not able

1071
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 3: to do that. But if something does resonate with me

1072
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:54,840
Speaker 3: on a human level, I'll do something about it.

1073
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, and the thing for me is, like, if

1074
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 4: we talk about something trending, he's my goal is to

1075
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 4: talk about it, like at least one level beyond just

1076
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 4: kind of like the typical things that are happening, you know.

1077
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 5: Like what I thought was interesting about the Simon Bows.

1078
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 4: Thing was that the way it was produced, right, because

1079
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:17,359
Speaker 4: there's an hour long podcast or whatever, but the people

1080
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 4: that did that podcast chose to give us those two

1081
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 4: minutes for a reason like that, Like those are the

1082
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 4: two units they wanted us to see, right, And they

1083
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 4: knew without the rest of.

1084
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,720
Speaker 5: The context of that interview where they talk.

1085
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 4: About supporting each other and a bunch of other shit,

1086
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 4: we're just gonna see a dude, that seems like he's a.

1087
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 5: Little bit arrogant, you know what I mean.

1088
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 4: At best, we were like arrogant to a woman that

1089
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 4: we holding extremely high esteem.

1090
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 5: So like that was the thing I peeped about.

1091
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 4: It was like because you know the content producers came

1092
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:48,919
Speaker 4: out later, or like we didn't think it would happen.

1093
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 5: I was like, I don't know that there's a way

1094
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,239
Speaker 5: to not think that would happen. You had an hour

1095
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,439
Speaker 5: for stuff you could have chopped up, but you could

1096
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 5: have shared.

1097
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 4: That time that she had the the she had the

1098
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 4: twisties and she couldn't perform at the Olympics, and he

1099
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 4: supported her through that and helped her get like her

1100
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 4: confidence back and all this.

1101
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 5: You could have shared that moment. That's a sweet moment.

1102
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 4: It wouldn't have win his viral, but it would have

1103
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 4: been like, oh man, I really liked that relationship. But

1104
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,399
Speaker 4: you didn't want us to feel like that. You want

1105
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 4: us to feel like who the hell this man think

1106
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 4: he is?

1107
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 5: And it's so like.

1108
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,879
Speaker 4: Mission accomplished, right, But if that was That's the way

1109
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 4: that I like to talk on the trending topics when

1110
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 4: we talk about like the cheesecake factory thing we like

1111
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 4: the breakdown, like is the acting good?

1112
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 5: You know, like what's going on this camera? That this

1113
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 5: really happened?

1114
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 3: You know? What I think about is when I see

1115
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:41,320
Speaker 3: content online that is produced, right, it's obviously produced and

1116
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 3: everything like that. I see people in the comments, like

1117
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 3: the whole thing where they were at the dinner and

1118
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 3: they were saying that the man should pay for Yeah okay,

1119
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 3: now people were writing in the comments, this is the

1120
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 3: skit is the skit? And I'm thinking, who guts the

1121
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 3: The point of it is? There's the point this being

1122
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 3: embodied here? Like you know, this is not this is

1123
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 3: you all are not, you know, arbiters of people's acting.

1124
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 3: What your job is is to watch us and find

1125
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 3: does it resonate with you? Have you been through an

1126
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,320
Speaker 3: experience like this? What's your opinion on this dynamic? And

1127
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 3: so to me, I mean I've been in social media

1128
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 3: for a long time. You know, you do content that's

1129
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 3: going to be produced in order to deliver a point.

1130
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 3: You do content that's very raw in that moment. You

1131
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:24,360
Speaker 3: get both And what I how I've always thought of

1132
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 3: it is like this is I say that I think

1133
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,880
Speaker 3: that sometimes we hold social media creators to a very

1134
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 3: different standard than the home TV creators too, because I'm like,

1135
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 3: people will watch these reality shows we're not gonna name them,

1136
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,399
Speaker 3: but they will watch the reality shows that are.

1137
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 7: Hyper produced that I'm not gonna say they're directly scripted,

1138
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 7: but they're very guided and everything like that, heavily edited,

1139
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 7: characterized and everything like that, and they will sit up

1140
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 7: paying be like yes, yes, yes, But then they see content.

1141
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 3: Online that seems a little scripted and now they want

1142
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,839
Speaker 3: to rip it the shreds. And I'm like, everything you're

1143
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 3: watching is produced to some extent because we all have

1144
00:51:57,200 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 3: to and educate you.

1145
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 5: That is a valid that's a valid point that I

1146
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 5: hadn't thought about.

1147
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 4: I do like to point that out that their skits,

1148
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 4: because that's why I find the humor in it is

1149
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 4: to be like because like the decisions that were made,

1150
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 4: you know, like oh, you started filming exactly at the

1151
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 4: second that they.

1152
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, it's like you know, because you know, in

1153
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 5: real I feel like in real life.

1154
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 4: I always like if I had to, like if I

1155
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 4: was responsible for like recording the altercations that happened in

1156
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,800
Speaker 4: my life so that I could put on the internet.

1157
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 4: I swear to God, y'all wouldn't know mine are real

1158
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 4: because I'd always start like three minutes into the fight, like,

1159
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:36,800
Speaker 4: hey man, I got to explain to 'all what happened.

1160
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:41,280
Speaker 5: For first of all, he hit my car right, because

1161
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 5: I never would get it perfect, but they always got

1162
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 5: it perfect.

1163
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 4: But that is a good point in a world where

1164
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 4: people know reality TV is basically scripted, Why why do

1165
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 4: you even care to's scripted? You just want to fight

1166
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 4: about the topic anyways, So how to just fight? Oh man,

1167
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,840
Speaker 4: that's you get to bother me?

1168
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 3: And I think it's because that's been so long in

1169
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 3: that whole Hollywood universe of things. I think it's just

1170
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,919
Speaker 3: always in my general expectation that if it's on a camera,

1171
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 3: it's produced to some extent. You know, no one want

1172
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:12,680
Speaker 3: to put the worst take out there. And if you

1173
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 3: did film something and it was really bad, why wouldn't

1174
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,359
Speaker 3: you just redo that and make it something that want

1175
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 3: to deliver the impact that you want. And so I've

1176
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 3: always been very open about, you know, my view on that.

1177
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 3: But I get it that, you know, from a viewer perspective,

1178
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 3: what I've learned is that what viewers want is they

1179
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 3: don't necessarily want it to be real. They just wanted.

1180
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:33,719
Speaker 3: They don't want you to remind them.

1181
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 6: Yes, the.

1182
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 4: Quality they want to look, they want to fight. Okay,

1183
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 4: just don't get in the way. Okay, all you do

1184
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 4: is bring up something to fight about. Who gonna pay

1185
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 4: for this check?

1186
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 5: Okay? Here we go.

1187
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:52,360
Speaker 3: This was.

1188
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 6: You all have on that.

1189
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,760
Speaker 3: I'm interested. I have you all have a situation.

1190
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 4: So we have a segment on this called gender Wars, right,

1191
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 4: and then we have a song and everything, and we

1192
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 4: play those like those those clips that people send us.

1193
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 4: People have sent me this clip like fifty times. All right,

1194
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,919
Speaker 4: if y'all, if you're on Instagram listening right now, don't

1195
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 4: send a d M.

1196
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,399
Speaker 5: I got it. We just haven't had time to cover

1197
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 5: it yet.

1198
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 6: So we go.

1199
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 4: So we haven't even watched it. But it is it

1200
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 4: is a man that actually, you know, y'all want to

1201
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:24,839
Speaker 4: do one live. Y'all want to do a gender War live?

1202
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 3: I would like to.

1203
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 5: All right, let me pull up the music real quick.

1204
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 5: I got your games. Yes, I like gangs.

1205
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 6: Uh.

1206
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 5: And then I'll go to my Instagram and see if

1207
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:39,880
Speaker 5: I can find a d M. We are going to war.

1208
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 3: War went on out?

1209
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 4: Socks War.

1210
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:50,319
Speaker 5: Went on out?

1211
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 3: Socks War?

1212
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 5: All right, let me see if I can find this.

1213
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 4: There is so people have sent this up. Yeah, it's

1214
00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 4: the first damn say, you know, I have my god

1215
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 4: you guys, y'all, y'all love this one. It's literally like

1216
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 4: my first dam All right, let me put it on

1217
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 4: the chat, all right, and I'm gonna turn on the

1218
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:13,919
Speaker 4: volume and see if I can get Oh, I guess

1219
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:15,919
Speaker 4: you can't turn it down on Instagram. So it's gonna

1220
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 4: be loud to hell, everybody. Just give me one second

1221
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 4: and then I'll put it just the sound loud ass thing.

1222
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 4: Here we go.

1223
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:24,959
Speaker 5: I got the birthday girl and my wife.

1224
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 3: Sorry, you're the only man at this table.

1225
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 7: Why are we doing that?

1226
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 5: Pretext?

1227
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 3: But it's all women here. But I'm not.

1228
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 5: I'm not responsible for paying everybody. I got the birthday, but.

1229
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 3: I didn't sign up for that. Okay, there's nobody I'm

1230
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 3: doing that. I don't know.

1231
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 5: I don't care. I'm sorry I didn't. But you always

1232
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:52,480
Speaker 5: pay like you're the only man.

1233
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 3: At the table. You're not gonna pay the.

1234
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 4: I don't.

1235
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 3: I'm not.

1236
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 5: You got one.

1237
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 3: Hundred dollars for this whole table, and it's my birthday.

1238
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,920
Speaker 3: It's only fan you mean ke are you hitting me

1239
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 3: right and cheap right now.

1240
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 5: Okay, if that was the case, I would have just

1241
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 5: just took you out.

1242
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 3: Drey, Are you gonna let him sit here with a

1243
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 3: whole table full of women?

1244
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 5: I really feel like it's not have a possibility.

1245
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 3: And when you get a.

1246
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:31,320
Speaker 8: Husband, I know, sorry, you're good because it's your birthday.

1247
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 5: But I'm not paying for anything that.

1248
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 4: I'm not caring for anybody.

1249
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 8: You do you please separate the checkers, saying that's ghetto,

1250
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 8: like you don't come to the establishment like that talking

1251
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:51,760
Speaker 8: about splitting.

1252
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 4: Check Okay, okay, all right, okay, went further than I

1253
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 4: thought it was gonna go. Not the first thing I

1254
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 4: want say. I want to give a shout out to

1255
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 4: the production. I usually think this is really good.

1256
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,919
Speaker 5: This is good for that, Like, yeah, I love the energy.

1257
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 5: We always brought me.

1258
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 4: It brought me into it, like I was at the

1259
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 4: table with yes, like oh wow, he not paying you

1260
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 4: know now the obvious.

1261
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 5: To me, I think it's obvious. You don't know somebody's

1262
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 5: financial situation.

1263
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 4: Seven hundred dollars is a relative like, uh, it's nothing

1264
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 4: to some people, it's something to me.

1265
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 3: Okay, that's a bill. That's a bill.

1266
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 5: Bill, Like, I don't know where they live, I don't

1267
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 5: know how they get down.

1268
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 4: Maybe they know more about that man's pockets than me,

1269
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 4: But I ain't never left the house. Assuming I can

1270
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 4: run up seven hundred dollars in anything and somebody got it,

1271
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 4: I like.

1272
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 5: And that's just in general, with like dinners and that

1273
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 5: type of etiquette.

1274
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 4: My belief system in the way I've just been raised

1275
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 4: is if you're gonna go somewhere to spend money, make

1276
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 4: sure you have enough to cover yourself just in it

1277
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 4: would be nice if somebody else covers it.

1278
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:04,840
Speaker 5: You know, We've had dinners when we've covered it.

1279
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,520
Speaker 4: We've had dinners if someone covered something, but I've never

1280
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 4: expected it just because I feel like that's not fair

1281
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 4: to that person into the sum. So I don't like

1282
00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 4: to me, I feel like everyone you might have been

1283
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 4: mythed or whatever, but everybody should have been cool with like,

1284
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 4: let me just pay for my own thing, and then

1285
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 4: like if he want to do something nice for the birthday, girl,

1286
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 4: that's that's like a nice thing.

1287
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 5: They turned this nice thing into like a terrible thing.

1288
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 6: Yes, I've been I've been at things like that where

1289
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 6: we've done that. Everybody chip it would go to the

1290
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 6: birthday girl covered, everybody else cover their own bill. Yeah,

1291
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying, like like something like that,

1292
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 6: like like like that's not an unreasonable ass Yeah, what

1293
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 6: was your take?

1294
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 5: MJ?

1295
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 3: Well, you know, for me, my viewers are women, which

1296
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 3: means that that that's reflects with the DMS. I get

1297
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 3: to about all numbers of topics, and I will say

1298
00:58:55,280 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 3: that for me personally, I have a belief that if

1299
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 3: we live in a world where we advocating for women

1300
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:07,200
Speaker 3: to be treated equally, advocating for me to be paid equally,

1301
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 3: in a world where in a lot of cases, black

1302
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 3: women specifically outearn black men significantly are out educated, I

1303
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 3: think that we need to come up off of these

1304
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,120
Speaker 3: antiquated views that just because someone has a penis between

1305
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:22,480
Speaker 3: their legs, that they should be providing the majority of

1306
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 3: the expenses in certain circumstances. Do I think that if

1307
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 3: a man asks someone out on a date, that he

1308
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 3: should pay well, maybe for that first day because he initiated,

1309
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 3: And I think that's nice, But I personally am of

1310
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 3: the belief that just because someone's a male, that doesn't

1311
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 3: mean that you're entitled to his pockets. And I also

1312
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:40,919
Speaker 3: do think that what people have to think about because

1313
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 3: this scenario was done with artistic integrity of our liberties,

1314
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 3: I should say, but just just scenarios that have happened

1315
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 3: in real life. And I think that if I invite

1316
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 3: out people to help me celebrate my spouse's birthday, I

1317
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 3: think that it is can completely just asinine to expect

1318
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 3: it just because I made the invite that I should

1319
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 3: pay for the whole thing. I think that that makes

1320
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 3: people left after on an invice you where so what

1321
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 3: if I ever part my lips to ask her you

1322
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 3: when to come? Something that means I'm putting the bill.

1323
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 3: I just think it's you know, I just to me.

1324
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 3: I hear these snurves all the time. And I'll tell

1325
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 3: you I received a lot of criticism when I would

1326
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 3: go online and I would say things like, you know, ladies,

1327
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 3: it's okay. Maybe not on the first date, but as

1328
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 3: you start the dates, it's like, it's okay to pick

1329
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 3: up the bill every now and then it's okay to

1330
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 3: to chip in. You know, think about does he earn

1331
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 3: the same amunt as you? If you earn more, he

1332
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 3: got bills too, Like it's okay, and people, oh now, man,

1333
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:41,240
Speaker 3: this man that I'm like, like, like it's nineteen fifty

1334
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 3: two and your grandma, but your grandmother couldn't work back

1335
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 3: then him, you know what I'm saying. So of course,

1336
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 3: if he was the only one with income, he should pay.

1337
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 3: But some of y'all got massive degrees in three hundred

1338
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 3: thousand dollars salaries, expecting this man who doesn't have a

1339
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 3: degree at all and he makes fifty thousand dollars a

1340
01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 3: year to pay for every bill and every day. Make

1341
01:00:58,360 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 3: it make sense.

1342
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 4: I always felt like, at least like with the Black

1343
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 4: history I know and reading and stuff, patriarchy has never

1344
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 4: really been for Black people.

1345
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 5: Like it's like cause it's we've never had.

1346
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 4: The privileged luxury whatever you want to white people want

1347
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 4: to call it. But we've never had that experience. The

1348
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 4: women in our lives have always been forced to work,

1349
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 4: either from economic hardship or literally just forced to work

1350
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:22,960
Speaker 4: because we.

1351
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,480
Speaker 5: Was all getting forced to work for free, if you

1352
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying, So like we haven't really had

1353
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:29,600
Speaker 5: that experience.

1354
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 4: And I do understand like the the idea I think,

1355
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:37,000
Speaker 4: like you said, with the first date especially, there's a

1356
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:40,840
Speaker 4: level of like courtship and whatnot that I totally do get, like,

1357
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,480
Speaker 4: especially if I ask you out somewhere, then it's you know,

1358
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 4: I want you to feel, you know, unencumbered essentially.

1359
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 5: But there becomes a point.

1360
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:53,280
Speaker 4: Where it is like, all right, man, I we both

1361
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 4: know where we had financially, we both know what they expects,

1362
01:01:56,920 --> 01:02:00,480
Speaker 4: so I could definitely understand that. And I think what

1363
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 4: messes up their equation is there's so many men, brothers especially,

1364
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 4: that want the patriarchal entitlements, but they don't want to

1365
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 4: then they want to split the check and it's like

1366
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 4: you can't have both, right, you know on that you.

1367
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,400
Speaker 3: Do, because I mean, I do think and I taught

1368
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 3: my nephews that. I remember one of them, I think

1369
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 3: he had just turned eighteen at the time, and he

1370
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:24,120
Speaker 3: was saying, you know, I want a woman that I

1371
01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 3: can take care of and so on and so forth

1372
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 3: and all this other stuff. And I said, are you

1373
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 3: sure you want that? And he said, what do you mean?

1374
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 3: I said, well, I want you to picture this. What

1375
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,160
Speaker 3: if your income changes at some point in time and

1376
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 3: you're not able to show up in the same way financially,

1377
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 3: are you really willing to go through what that transition

1378
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:43,880
Speaker 3: looks like because maybe that's not what she signed up for.

1379
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 3: You're agreeing to that hype of dynamic. And so what

1380
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 3: I told what I taught them was, I said, choose

1381
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 3: a spouse who, even if you are showing up more financially,

1382
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,840
Speaker 3: they are also capable of showing up. And even if

1383
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 3: they can't show up financially in the same way, they

1384
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 3: can show up in other ways that are still equitable.

1385
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 3: Choose a partner, you know, so that no matter what,

1386
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 3: you both are showing up in some capacities. I think

1387
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,120
Speaker 3: that that leads to a much healthier long.

1388
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 6: Term I agree, me and Roger being married twenty years,

1389
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:21,920
Speaker 6: over twenty years. And the thing about it, I've been

1390
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:25,160
Speaker 6: without a job, he's been without a job. I've been

1391
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 6: beside him in the hospital. He's been beside me and

1392
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 6: a hospital. You know what I'm saying, Like like like it's.

1393
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 4: Not people forget about the part of the vows that

1394
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 4: is like and be cause it's like in sickness.

1395
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, hell, you know, like it when you're broke and

1396
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:40,640
Speaker 5: you got some money.

1397
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 4: So like yeah, cause to make a sports analogy here,

1398
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:48,800
Speaker 4: it's kind of like different people's games change depending on

1399
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:51,919
Speaker 4: who they're playing with. Like what makes you, what makes

1400
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 4: you a good teammate on what one person might make

1401
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 4: you not the right teammate for another. But I think

1402
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 4: when you sign when you sign up to be a partner,

1403
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,600
Speaker 4: I love that you said that word because that is

1404
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 4: that is what I think people should look for is a.

1405
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 5: Partner, and they don't. And a partner and a.

1406
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 4: Partnership can change dynamics, like it's you know, it's like, okay,

1407
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 4: so we're going through a lean time. It's the it's

1408
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 4: the salad days. We eat at home a lot right now,

1409
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:20,840
Speaker 4: and then sometimes you have it and you like we balling.

1410
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 4: We both balling, though it can't be not one of

1411
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:24,200
Speaker 4: us is balling.

1412
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:25,880
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1413
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:27,720
Speaker 6: And also something you bought up with a lot of

1414
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:31,560
Speaker 6: people don't understand in the process of a partnership, that

1415
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,280
Speaker 6: means the person in the league can rotate because it's

1416
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:34,960
Speaker 6: a partnership.

1417
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 5: When you in front, Yeah, next day I'm in front.

1418
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:40,840
Speaker 4: Like like, if you've ever been somewhere and something bad happened,

1419
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,480
Speaker 4: like you you at the airport, your flight get canceled,

1420
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:45,520
Speaker 4: y'all supposed to both hop on a plane or whatever.

1421
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 5: Only one of y'all gets to freak out that's that's

1422
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:51,480
Speaker 5: how the partnerships have to work. One of y'all get

1423
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 5: one do y'all get to go crazy, the other person

1424
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:55,880
Speaker 5: gotta adjust it. Be like I'll be the one to

1425
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 5: talk to the to the pilot, you.

1426
01:04:57,640 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 6: Know, yeah, alrighty, because I say we both had two

1427
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:06,680
Speaker 6: different personalities. Or is Roger's eating something and he ordered

1428
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 6: like a steak and it wasn't what he wanted and

1429
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:10,960
Speaker 6: so if it.

1430
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:13,320
Speaker 5: Was up to him, he would have ate the ship.

1431
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 6: He did.

1432
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 4: Me was like, excuse me, sir, Yeah, And like so

1433
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 4: I definitely agree, and I think, you know, like you

1434
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 4: see that play out, I still love I loved the

1435
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 4: sketch or whatever we're going. I love this ville, yeah,

1436
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 4: because because you get to talk about those things because

1437
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:37,120
Speaker 4: of it, and I don't I hope to god they

1438
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 4: didn't really leave that restaurant because because I was like,

1439
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:40,760
Speaker 4: if y'all.

1440
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:43,479
Speaker 6: On that that had been an article when fifteen people

1441
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 6: got arrested the rest you know, doing.

1442
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 3: These in the restaurant situations, because what I've experienced is this,

1443
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 3: and I wish we stopped doing this in our community

1444
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,600
Speaker 3: is expecting that whoever has whoever people believe has more

1445
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 3: financial resources, at the table should be paying the bill

1446
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:01,920
Speaker 3: in general, because here and set as time has gone along,

1447
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 3: you know, people's perceptions though he mustn't have more money.

1448
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,320
Speaker 3: So when the bill come, everybody started looking everywhere else,

1449
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,840
Speaker 3: and it's uncomfortable in that moment. And there are times

1450
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:11,320
Speaker 3: where people thought I had more and I did. In

1451
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:12,920
Speaker 3: their times, they thought I had more and I didn't.

1452
01:06:13,360 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 3: And so what I learned to do is in those scenarios.

1453
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 3: First of all, when we go out to eat, if

1454
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:23,280
Speaker 3: it's a big group, not like if it's a small

1455
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:26,480
Speaker 3: because it's a bigger group, what I do is I

1456
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 3: will go, like after the all order, I go to

1457
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:32,480
Speaker 3: the going to the restroom, and I'll go to the

1458
01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:34,920
Speaker 3: server and I'll say, excuse me, can I play my

1459
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:37,520
Speaker 3: heart of the bill please? And whoever I'm taking care of,

1460
01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:39,680
Speaker 3: I just go ahead and swipe them. They give me

1461
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:41,840
Speaker 3: the receipt at that time, I write their tip in there.

1462
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 3: And then when the bill comes out for the overall

1463
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,080
Speaker 3: group and everybody's putting in their cards or whatever they're

1464
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:47,880
Speaker 3: waiting to put in their cards, I pull up my recess.

1465
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,560
Speaker 3: So I already paid my part, so I'm just gonna

1466
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:51,280
Speaker 3: put that in. So you know, y'all can go ahead

1467
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:53,480
Speaker 3: and divide us. I bought my phone and rolling on

1468
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 3: social media. I'm gonna just ice out the awkwardness because

1469
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 3: what I've learned is that one of the biggest things

1470
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,479
Speaker 3: that effects in the African American community is this whole

1471
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:05,320
Speaker 3: idea of what I call community entitlement. We believe that

1472
01:07:05,360 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 3: we're entired of other people's abundance and then and that

1473
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:11,560
Speaker 3: hurts us, even on a family level, because you're the child.

1474
01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:14,600
Speaker 3: You make some resources, but now mom or daddy is

1475
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,440
Speaker 3: expecting to take care of them, So you're depleting your

1476
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:20,080
Speaker 3: future ability to build financial security for you and your

1477
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:22,320
Speaker 3: family because you're using your abundance to take care of

1478
01:07:22,440 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 3: other people. And I want to break that generational curse

1479
01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 3: for myself and my family. So I've taught them, and

1480
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 3: you know, especially my boys, I've taught them, no one's

1481
01:07:32,240 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 3: entitled to your money. I don't care if you want

1482
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:36,600
Speaker 3: to be with them, and I am not entitled to it.

1483
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 3: You pay at the level that you're comfortable with, and

1484
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 3: you have conversations to let people know what your boundaries.

1485
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 5: Talk aloud.

1486
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:45,240
Speaker 4: You gotta be self reliant and also get surround yourself

1487
01:07:45,280 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 4: with some self relyant people like you know, flock together,

1488
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:51,400
Speaker 4: because I know that that vibe of like you go

1489
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:54,600
Speaker 4: out and the end of the check comes and everybody

1490
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:57,280
Speaker 4: hands is going in the you know oh man, like

1491
01:07:57,360 --> 01:08:00,440
Speaker 4: you said, the ods won't match. But what I do is,

1492
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:02,760
Speaker 4: if I do plan on paying for everybody's food, I

1493
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,280
Speaker 4: just take a bite off everybody plate.

1494
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:08,560
Speaker 5: You know, you just I got you.

1495
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:20,400
Speaker 4: But nah, that's that's really cool man, MJ. We've kept

1496
01:08:20,439 --> 01:08:22,639
Speaker 4: you for over an hour. Man, we appreciate you. Thank

1497
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:28,360
Speaker 4: you for coming by the show. Definitely go get the book,

1498
01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:31,840
Speaker 4: get the fuck out of your own way of God

1499
01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:32,880
Speaker 4: to letting go of.

1500
01:08:32,880 --> 01:08:34,080
Speaker 5: Ship that's holding you back.

1501
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,840
Speaker 4: Make sure y'all cop that everywhere that you get books,

1502
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 4: and check out his YouTube channel.

1503
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 5: I mean y'all probably already in it.

1504
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 4: I posted this episode in December, like just like a placeholder, like, hey,

1505
01:08:46,400 --> 01:08:49,280
Speaker 4: we're gonna have MJ on and I logged in this

1506
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 4: morning there were already two comments like okay, wait he like,

1507
01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 4: and they were from December, like people have been waiting

1508
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:58,040
Speaker 4: on this episode for a minute.

1509
01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 5: So thank you for coming by you.

1510
01:09:00,479 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 4: I wish you much success, all right, thank you, so yes, sir,

1511
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:06,360
Speaker 4: Until next time, I love you, I love you to

1512
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:08,000
Speaker 4: Bye everybody,