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Speaker 1: Welcome back to what other episode of Alchemy Beads version?

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Poll. I guess that's Kevin Poll.

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Speaker 1: Hey man, don't come around here looking for answers. All

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Speaker 1: we God or those overripe bananas. But I digress. Let's meet.

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Speaker 1: I come to shower in no particulars. Say hello to

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Speaker 1: James Heeney, Jim, Jim, what's going on after the show today?

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Speaker 1: After the show today, Joey and I are going to

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Speaker 1: get together to find space colonies perfect. Say hey to

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Speaker 1: Carla Kokowski, Kiki, Carla, not the Do you miss most

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Speaker 1: of your clothes? I don't I like wearing the same

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Speaker 1: three things? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, they can suck it. Uh,

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Speaker 1: look what the puppy dragged in. It's Chris Alvarado, dr

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Speaker 1: Oliver right, Oh, we'll see you now. How would you

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Speaker 1: feel about it taking three to tango? Oh I'm four

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Speaker 1: that I'm let's pressure on me? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I do know what you're Yeah, not suggesting anything. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's Craig Kowski any crafty around the house tips for

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Speaker 1: our quarantine days. Crafting around the house. Yeah, crafty, you know,

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Speaker 1: being crafty, Oh, just being like sly and devious. I've

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Speaker 1: got that in spades. My friends. I can't macromate, but

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Speaker 1: check your socks for scorpions if you think them leaves.

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Speaker 1: It's Joey Greer Wally Mr Greer. I'm a high school

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Speaker 1: senior and I was planning on losing my virginity on

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Speaker 1: prom night. Now what uh? I don't know. James has

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Speaker 1: better stories about fucking in theater, so I think I'd

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Speaker 1: rather that even like, please don't bring me into this

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Speaker 1: enough said, All right, let's do a damn show. Almost

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Speaker 1: all of our scenes are suggested by your listener emails,

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Speaker 1: so please write to us if you'd like to submit yours,

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Speaker 1: and may I make a request No more pandemic themed

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Speaker 1: scene suggestions please, nor scenes where we play ourselves. That's

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Speaker 1: are only two QUALIFICA qualifiers please otherwise. I love, love, love,

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Speaker 1: love love all of your emails, and I replied to

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Speaker 1: them all um, so let's get to our first. This

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Speaker 1: first scene is brought to us from listener email oh

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Speaker 1: right to us at your name here at alchemy this

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Speaker 1: dot com. That's your name here at m seen. One

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Speaker 1: comes from listener email Wyatt Hunter, who wrote good Evening

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Speaker 1: Alchemists from the terribly shitty. U K. I'm Wyatt and

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Speaker 1: I finally subscribed as a v I P member. Oh,

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Speaker 1: he wrote into the email Patreon member, but I have

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Speaker 1: no idea how to use Patreon. It seems I wrote

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Speaker 1: in some scene suggestion four nine two years ago that

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Speaker 1: how to reply, saying one will be used in an

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Speaker 1: upcoming episode, but I never found it any houser. I digress.

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Speaker 1: I'll keep it simple. My new suggestion is as follows.

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Speaker 1: The Alchemists play World of Warcraft Craft but get sucked

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Speaker 1: into the computer and enter the game. Why that sounds

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Speaker 1: like two films that have already come out, one being

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Speaker 1: a sequel, so successful is your idea. But they weren't

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Speaker 1: playing World of Warcraft in those movies, or that in

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Speaker 1: the World of Warcraft movie. I think they were. No,

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Speaker 1: you know the movie's talking with Kevin hard in the

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Speaker 1: Rock about record Ralph or something, but didn't Jumanji. They

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Speaker 1: get sucked into the game. Is let's not forget Reestar

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Speaker 1: huh the Great for reest arby Great and Glorious Kiwi

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Speaker 1: known as rees arby um. Alright, World of Warcraft we

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Speaker 1: get sucked into the computer and enter the game. I

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Speaker 1: don't care what you're playing. You have to clean your room.

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Speaker 1: I'm a healer, and if I'm not healing, then the

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Speaker 1: rest of my group dies. Okay, Mom, So I'll clean

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Speaker 1: the room as soon as i'm done. You know who's

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Speaker 1: gonna die, Charlie. You know who's gonna die. You're gonna die.

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Speaker 1: Okay if you don't clean this room, honeyway to my lunch.

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Speaker 1: The kid alone for two fucking minutes, and make the

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Speaker 1: god damn lunch. The lunch was already made. It's in

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Speaker 1: the fridge. Mom, shut the door. I'm trying to concentrate.

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Speaker 1: I'm a healer and I don't just save it, Charlie.

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Speaker 1: Just save it, Charlie, Charlie, I've been here. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: need I need some healing. Okay, we'll step back from

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Speaker 1: the front line. I can't come close up there, okay, alright,

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Speaker 1: backing up, backing up, Okay, alright, guys, we stop these things. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's get let's get a cycle heel on this, all right,

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Speaker 1: and let's say that. Gather around. It's an area of effect.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna make it. I'm not gonna make it.

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Speaker 1: Don't say that. Don't say that, Do not aggrow Okay,

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Speaker 1: do not aggrow on this. All right. Now, let's just

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Speaker 1: get a buff on that and let's get a let's

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Speaker 1: get a cycle cool down of two for two. Al right, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: let's do it. Who's gonna count it down? What do

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Speaker 1: you mean count it down that you should have the Okay,

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Speaker 1: well be up. Okay, so we should be cycling through

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Speaker 1: that automatically. Okay, great, access it now. Okay, okay, everybody

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Speaker 1: should be healed. Now, let's seems like, come on, we

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Speaker 1: got we got him down. We gotta temper cent. We

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Speaker 1: have done temper cent. Okay, keep hitting and keep hitting anymore.

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Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta step away for a second, so

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Speaker 1: be careful. I guess you don't understand. If I don't

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Speaker 1: clean up my room, they're gonna kill me. My mother's

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Speaker 1: gonna kill don't know. Covid Stay with the covidity, stay

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Speaker 1: with it, Stay with the day with Chris. Are you

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Speaker 1: playing that game again? I thought we were going to

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Speaker 1: have like an US night tonight. Hold on you. You're

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Speaker 1: like a different person when you're playing that game. Like

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Speaker 1: when you're not playing that game, you're so here, you're

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Speaker 1: so present. But I'm not. I'm not who I want

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Speaker 1: to be with me? Yeah, or with the game. I

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Speaker 1: think you've met with the game right with the game,

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Speaker 1: because I've met a lot of time and energy and effort.

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Speaker 1: You let me you tell me about There's been so

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Speaker 1: much time, like I could have spent so much time

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Speaker 1: with so many other guys. Chris, Miko. I need you, Miko,

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Speaker 1: I need you? Where are you? Chris? It's between me

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Speaker 1: and the orc? Who do you choose? Call me? Miko?

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Speaker 1: I mean, let's go to update from World of Warcraft?

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Speaker 1: Would you like to accept the update? What is this?

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Speaker 1: Should we just do it? Well? I mean the game?

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Speaker 1: What the is this on your screen? Too? Yeah? I see?

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Speaker 1: Hold on real quick, hey babe, Oh do you need something?

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Speaker 1: Because I was just packing my bags, I put I

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Speaker 1: put our cat in the bag. Baby, just just stay

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Speaker 1: here for one second. I'm an update and then I'll

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Speaker 1: be with you. That's insane. So he like totally picked

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Speaker 1: the game over you. Yeah, it was crazy when he

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Speaker 1: was saying baby, I couldn't tell if he was talking

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Speaker 1: to me or the game. Oh my god, do you

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Speaker 1: think he was having an affair with someone in the game.

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Speaker 1: I think he was having an affair with the game.

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Speaker 1: Oh he was the game exactly. I found love notes.

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Speaker 1: I found notes. Stop stop serious Bianca. That is insane.

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Speaker 1: What it's true, it's true. And now I have this

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Speaker 1: stupid cat that I didn't want in the first place. Wait,

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Speaker 1: you brought the cat words and I haven't seen in

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Speaker 1: the apartment. Is it? Don't tell me? It's still in

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Speaker 1: the Duffel bags over in the corner. Yeah, it's in

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Speaker 1: my bag. Okay, you've been in my apartment for like

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Speaker 1: two and a half weeks. There's a dead cat, for sure,

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Speaker 1: he's fine. He's a fat cat. He's like a Garfield cat.

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Speaker 1: He has this like bad circulation and ship like, get

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Speaker 1: that cat out of that sucking bag. There's a there's

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Speaker 1: like a dead animal. That's the smell, that's ma'am. Could

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Speaker 1: you just take me to the cat please? Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: this is a very expensive bag, so I when you

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Speaker 1: remove it, I'm sorry the cat in this bag. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I put the cat in the bag. I was very upset.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking right. And then you understand you called

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Speaker 1: the humane socide, right, that's what I googled it. I

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Speaker 1: said who takes cats? And it said humane society? And

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Speaker 1: what you've done would be considered not human. Um, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I guess it depends how you look at it. All right,

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Speaker 1: let's look at it from your perspective, because I'm confused.

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Speaker 1: How did the cat get in the bag and put

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Speaker 1: it in the back? But I never wanted the cat

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Speaker 1: in the first place. I just took him to make

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend okay. So calling a humane society prior to

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Speaker 1: put in the cat in the bag might have been

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Speaker 1: the moon. Yeah, you're right to get a second opinion.

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Speaker 1: If they in humane society, like we don't give a

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Speaker 1: ship like live dead fat, then yeah, mistreated, we'll treated.

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Speaker 1: We'll take your cat. Good. I appreciate it. This is

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Speaker 1: great customer service. What is your name, sir? Toad? Toad? Wow?

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Speaker 1: That is um. You don't happen to play games? Do you?

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Speaker 1: Big time gamer? What are you into? W ow? Okay? Bye? Hey,

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Speaker 1: beyond what do you mean? What do you mean it

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Speaker 1: didn't work out? Bron me just tell me what's going on?

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Speaker 1: And you're not emotionally opening up, Bro, you're playing your

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Speaker 1: fucking game. Dude, I'm here, Okay, you called me? Yeah

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Speaker 1: I know, babe, hold on, dude, give me one. Are

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Speaker 1: you talking to your game or me? Am I the babe?

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Speaker 1: Or is the game the babe? Okay, I'm calling you

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Speaker 1: to tell you two things. Hold on, man, pause that

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Speaker 1: phone call and talk to me. Man, all right, all right,

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Speaker 1: beyond the hold on listen, I'm trying to say goodbye

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Speaker 1: before we Are you playing the game? Dude? Are you

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Speaker 1: talking to me? Dude? Talking to you all? Because it

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Speaker 1: looks like you're playing the game right now. I mean

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Speaker 1: I'm also playing the game. I just I'm just waiting

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Speaker 1: for this, for this, for this, this thing to upload.

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Speaker 1: Bianca you there. Yeah, the inhumane society is here right now,

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to deal with toads. So just get

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Speaker 1: it off your chest already so I can move on

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Speaker 1: with my life. Okay. Well, and this cat is in

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Speaker 1: bad shape. This is a bad trout. I need to

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Speaker 1: keep that bag. It's a very expensive bag. I've seen

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Speaker 1: a lot of ship This is bad. Okay, Well, can

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Speaker 1: you transfer it to a new bag? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think the bag is degrading from the decomposition. Can't

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Speaker 1: be true. This is a very expensive bag, not just degrade.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, what have I done with my life? Alright?

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Speaker 1: I love you? All right, Hey, toad wasn't how much

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Speaker 1: for this bag here? Honestly, I'll pay you to take

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Speaker 1: it off my hands. Well, I want to get the

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Speaker 1: lamp and the stereo also, okay, yeah yeah, well uh

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah. I'm just be honest with you, man, I'm

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Speaker 1: just selling it all and just Roman's treasure. Right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll pay you twenty bucks to take the bag. Please

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Speaker 1: please take the bag, and then that's twenty off the

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Speaker 1: lamp in the stereo, the lamp in the stair. Let's

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Speaker 1: call it even. Let's call it even. Just take all three.

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Speaker 1: Are you going to be out here next Sunday? Also? Funk?

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Speaker 1: I hope not? Oh ship, Where I am? I? Where's

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Speaker 1: my bedroom? Do? What the hell's going on? Oh? No,

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Speaker 1: follow Mela HeLa, follow me? I need your help. I'm

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Speaker 1: just a high schooler. Okay, I'm here by a mistake.

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Speaker 1: I'm here by a mistake. I need to get my bedroom.

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Speaker 1: I'm cleaning my bedroom. War is always a mistake. Come

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Speaker 1: with me, cleric, You're healing is needed on the front lines. Okay,

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Speaker 1: with this armor is way too heavy for me to

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Speaker 1: walk in barely, I can't really walk, of course it is.

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Speaker 1: Why are you a white mail you should be in cloth.

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Speaker 1: You're right her. You know my cats? Here? Is there

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Speaker 1: a safe place that we can put my cat? Of God,

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Speaker 1: what did you do? Cannot have any more damnage done

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Speaker 1: to cats. That will be the end of C one.

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Speaker 1: Scene two comes from Spencer, who wrote high Gang. I'm Spencer,

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Speaker 1: longtime Color, first time fan. My suggestion is simply this

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Speaker 1: the most regrettable tattoos shop. It only took three years

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Speaker 1: of continuous listening, but I can honestly say that you

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Speaker 1: have become my favorite podcast to listen to. I even

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Speaker 1: use your show to practice animating scenes. I am Sama

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Speaker 1: dot Paint on Instagram. Due that, Spencer, Everyone's stays safe

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Speaker 1: and Rhona free. Peace Spencer, thank you Spencer for all

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Speaker 1: you do. Check out Samma dot paint on Instagram. Please.

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Speaker 1: He's done some stuff with our podcast and also his

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Speaker 1: other original stuff is just great, great, great, great grades.

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Speaker 1: All right, Uh can you just slow down? Can you

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Speaker 1: slow down? Well, you said you wanted it to hurt.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, and it hurts, it hurts. It just uh,

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Speaker 1: this is my first tattoo because yeah, I know, I

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Speaker 1: I see your body. You don't have any other tattoos.

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Speaker 1: I know. I just need I need a quick break.

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Speaker 1: I just I feel like stop. I feel like I

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Speaker 1: want to change what I don't want to want to

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Speaker 1: change what it says. Are you sure? Because once I'm

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Speaker 1: on a roll, like I do my best work, well,

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Speaker 1: I just kind of maybe we can just stop in

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Speaker 1: the stuff. Just stop. I don't want you to finish it.

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Speaker 1: I think you know flamingo suits you tammy phone? Okay, God,

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep it going. I'm gonna phone, I'm coming.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tie the little trigger so that it keeps

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Speaker 1: going on your back even when I'm not here. Please don't.

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Speaker 1: I'll be back flaming all the way. Baby. Hey dude, dude,

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Speaker 1: nice flamingo work. You're hanging in there, all right? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm okay. Can you turn off the tattoo gun? Listen,

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Speaker 1: I'm just another patron like you. It's looking pretty are you?

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Speaker 1: Are you tied down? Also? We're all tied down? Okay, okay?

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Speaker 1: Do you have a tattoo gun just in one spot

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Speaker 1: blurring into your skin? No, we're not all as lucky

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Speaker 1: as you. Oh God, it hurts though. I don't think

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Speaker 1: it's How would you describe the pain? Is it like

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Speaker 1: a rabbit punch? Is it like a knife, It's like

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Speaker 1: a It's like a beasting, but a beasting that it stopped. Hello,

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Speaker 1: is this Tammy, Tammy, Tammy Slasher. Yeah, that's right, that's me. Wow,

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Speaker 1: you're famous? Listen, Tammy. I don't know Instagram does that count?

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Speaker 1: That's oh accounts um. But I'm a I'm a manager

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Speaker 1: and I represent some pretty some pretty high list celebrities.

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Speaker 1: And I got one of them that wants to come in.

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Speaker 1: He wants your work and only your work. Oh. I

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Speaker 1: thought you were going to offer to represent me. For

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Speaker 1: the first half of that sentence, Oh do you have

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Speaker 1: any do you act? I mean you started by saying

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Speaker 1: I was famous and then that you were a manager,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, now's my shot. Oh I see, I see.

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Speaker 1: But that's fine. I can just be a conduit to

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Speaker 1: artistic integrity for your client. Are you familiar with the

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Speaker 1: rapper g Town Baby? Am I familiar with g Town Baby? Uh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course? Is it g Town Baby? It's his, it's his,

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Speaker 1: it's his nephew. Okay, well I don't know his nephew,

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Speaker 1: but you know g Town baby, right, but I know

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Speaker 1: g Town baby, okay, So yeah, man, I mean I'm

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Speaker 1: seeing the bone right there, buddy. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: the hell that tattoo was supposed to be, but it's

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Speaker 1: supposed to be a flamingo. You just turn off the

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Speaker 1: machine an my station, buddy. I don't know what the

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Speaker 1: artist is trying to do, so I'm not gonna touch you.

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Speaker 1: I think she's had a phone call. If you could

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Speaker 1: just flip the switch and then she'll figure it out

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Speaker 1: what she gets back. I don't hear the gun going.

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Speaker 1: Can somebody check the guy for me? Sir? How much

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Speaker 1: money do you want? I've got, I've got. Just turn

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Speaker 1: off that gun, anybuddy. That's sacrilege to mix with another

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Speaker 1: tattoo artist station, but I ain't gonna do that, dude.

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Speaker 1: Are you my guy? Are you doing the hank ten?

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Speaker 1: I'm yeah, kill cool right butt cheek not the left please?

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Speaker 1: All right, let me just make sure I write that

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Speaker 1: on the left butt cheek here, just like a surgeon

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Speaker 1: does not tattoo. Thank you. Okay, you have very smooth buttocks.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say that, which is why I

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Speaker 1: want to cut them over smooth. Yeah, that's smooth. Uh um. Look,

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Speaker 1: I feel like we've really connected on this call. And

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Speaker 1: I don't care so much about a famous guy's nephew,

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Speaker 1: but if you wanted to come in, I'd be happy to.

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Speaker 1: You know, scar your body, make scars on your body. Wow. Wow,

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Speaker 1: Timmy Slasher, Yeah, that's my that's my name. Uh okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's you know what, it might be good. It might

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Speaker 1: be good if I show them some some some working

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Speaker 1: person anyway, you know, I'll show them what you do

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Speaker 1: on me, and then maybe g Town Baby's nephew, like

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Speaker 1: maybe g Town himself will like it. Awesome, let's try it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna come in. I'm gonna come in right now.

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Speaker 1: Wait a second, is that over there? It's me. It's me.

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Speaker 1: So are you standing outside this whole time? That's amazing?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Anything here on the on

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Speaker 1: the walls of how this workship just looks if you

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Speaker 1: want to be basic, do I? I don't. You don't,

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Speaker 1: you don't. Okay, So let's talk. What did you dream

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Speaker 1: about last night? Um? That my puppy was in a

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Speaker 1: swimming pool and he was drowning, and it was taking

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Speaker 1: me a long time to get to him. Great, I

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Speaker 1: can do that. Let's do it on your calf. On

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Speaker 1: your calf. I can do that on your calf. Oh

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Speaker 1: I already have a tattoo on my calf. That's not great. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well I can do it on your other calf. Two calves.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's right. Is that guy over there okay, because

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Speaker 1: he seems to be crying. He's great. He's like my

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Speaker 1: number one client right now. He's paying a thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: give me one secontail babies calling me right now? Uh GTB,

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Speaker 1: what's up? But you know you need a hook up

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Speaker 1: my nephew. Yeah, no, I'm working on that right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a tattoo first, and then we'll see

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Speaker 1: if you guys like it. You're getting a tattoo yourself. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: just just the show you and show your nephew like

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Speaker 1: if that's if that's cool. He's on his way over man,

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Speaker 1: and he's angry. Oh sure, are you coming with him? No, man,

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Speaker 1: I'm getwn baby. Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot that. I

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Speaker 1: forgot that. Okay, okay, all right, that's okay. Look he'll

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Speaker 1: calm he can get tattoo also, okay, Hey, it'd be

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Speaker 1: really cool. If you stopped by, I'll see what I

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Speaker 1: can do. I'm shooting a Oscar bait movie right now. Set, baby, Okay,

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Speaker 1: do you tell can we get you on? I'll give

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Speaker 1: you one taking. That's it roll. That's my boy, James.

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Speaker 1: It's looking so good. Just okay. Feeling almost done though,

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's done. I smell something that's like

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Speaker 1: it smells like burning something. Almost about five more hours almost?

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Speaker 1: What if? What if I said twice to stop right now?

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Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, I'm in it for the art, baby,

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Speaker 1: not for the in the cash. I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: gonna look amazing when it's done. Nephew in the ouzel,

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Speaker 1: you seem distracted? Am I not your only way? Let

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Speaker 1: my ad do what it? Hi? That's me? Nice to me,

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Speaker 1: baby's nephew. Do you have a name beyond nephew? Oh man,

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Speaker 1: you're tripping on me. Then anchor on my neck, an

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Speaker 1: anchor on your neck? Oh my god, I can totally

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Speaker 1: do that for you. Right gee here, take a seat

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Speaker 1: right here, and then I'm gonna strap you in. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna put around your neck. What I don't want to interrupt,

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Speaker 1: but he's I've never met detail. Maybe his nephew. I

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Speaker 1: didn't know he was a toddler, and it seems like

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Speaker 1: not the right move. Well, it's too light, he said.

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Speaker 1: I like my dick, like my dick. Okay, okay, Jesus,

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Speaker 1: I can that with the tattoo. Well, I mean, looking

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Speaker 1: at the graphs here, or you're you're gonna lose your dick.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't look like we're gonna be able to save

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Speaker 1: your He just he's just a little boy. He just

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Speaker 1: squeeze it hard. I want you to just make to

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Speaker 1: tell you, I don't know what to tell you, but

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Speaker 1: his grip was fantastic, and he crushed it up. It

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Speaker 1: actually looks like there's uh, this is crazy for me.

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Speaker 1: It looks like there's actually a excuse my language, or

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Speaker 1: a shut down of small bones and your penis, doctor, doctor, doctor,

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Speaker 1: Oh sorry, um, I gave you the wrong dicks rays.

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Speaker 1: So these are the correct dicks rays. Thank you? M

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Speaker 1: Are you re sure this time? Yeah, I'm sorry. I

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Speaker 1: was drinking on my lunch break. That's fine. Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: take a look at this stand. What I'm selling you

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Speaker 1: today is the most uh unique and state of the

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Speaker 1: art dicks ray machine. I don't know what you're using currently,

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Speaker 1: but it's a dinosaur mm hmm. This Dicks ray device

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Speaker 1: can look through time. I don't know if I needed

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Speaker 1: to be that powerful. I just needed to be able

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Speaker 1: to show me just an option setting. You don't have

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Speaker 1: to use that. I'm trying to make a point, get it. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: So what I'm using now is I'm taking X rays

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Speaker 1: and then I put them up against the screen. That's

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Speaker 1: pretty much with the dis Dicks ray device. The dick

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Speaker 1: goes in. You see magic. Wait you put the dick

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Speaker 1: in here? Oh so that I thought these were usp

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Speaker 1: s but they just look their flesh light purse. I understand, Yes, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I get it all right. Your your patients are going

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Speaker 1: to be thrilled. First of all, well, this from where

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Speaker 1: you're showing me, it's a little too high. I don't

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Speaker 1: think anybody's at tall, so we're gonna have to bring

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Speaker 1: it down. Is you're handling little people, This is fine

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Speaker 1: with me. I'm not here to judge. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: I see everybody. But this is great. Yeah, this is great.

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Speaker 1: This is free sample. Go ahead, slide it in all right, whoa,

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Speaker 1: here we go. You got a name for that? Tiger.

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Speaker 1: I actually do I actually do that, said Miko. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but he goes his name. It's a healer. Do you

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Speaker 1: feel anything? Does Miko feel anything? Right now? The machine's

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Speaker 1: already taken seventy two shots. I say, oh, you know

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Speaker 1: you mean from the machine itself, is what I'm saying. Uh,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting a sharp pinch. I'm getting like a sharp

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Speaker 1: feels like a tattoo gun. Just you're gonna want to

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Speaker 1: take Miko out now. I can't. It's stuck in there.

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Speaker 1: I can't. It's stuck. I can't get it out. I

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Speaker 1: can't get it out. So so you'll say you were

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Speaker 1: just getting a routine dicks ray, that's the doctor, and

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Speaker 1: then you were somehow tapped into this world. That's Look,

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Speaker 1: that's all I'm saying. Okay, Oh careful, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to I know that. I know that. Look I just

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Speaker 1: orch attack boy. Hey geetown baby, Hey, good to see you,

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Speaker 1: Good to see you. Um. I know you don't like

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Speaker 1: ante and a half. I know, I know. I just

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Speaker 1: want to let you know your nephew, UM, we need

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Speaker 1: you on sap baby. I'll give you half a take

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Speaker 1: roll up. I didn't first of all, I didn't know

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Speaker 1: he was a toddler. Uh. Second of all, he crushed

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Speaker 1: todd is six years old with a growth. Okay, well

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Speaker 1: he broke every bone in my dick. And then and

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Speaker 1: third of all, um, there was a complication at the

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Speaker 1: tattoo shop. He wants he wanted an anchor on his neck,

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Speaker 1: and well, I'll just let him show you. Nephew, did

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Speaker 1: you want to show your uncle Geetown baby what what happened?

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Speaker 1: Do what have to? I guess not? All right, dude, Um,

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Speaker 1: I can see what happened. I can see what happened.

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Speaker 1: Look at it. It's uncle Geetown baby. His whole body

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Speaker 1: is an anchor. Yeah, it's he's one anchor. Now. I

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Speaker 1: mean it's on my back, so that's cool. So that's

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Speaker 1: that anyway. Um uh, so you're an orc and you

412
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: want an orc tattoo on your orc body is um

413
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: it's not normal. But you know what I'm all about,

414
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: pushing boundaries, trying new things. What's your pain tolerance? One

415
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 1: to ten? It would be a all right, great, Okay,

416
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 1: bend over. Okay, I didn't mean like that. I meant like,

417
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 1: lay down. I was willing to do the first thing,

418
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: just lay down. Sorry, it's been a long day. You're

419
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 1: my you're my fourth client today. Trindover is a weird

420
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 1: thing to say when you mean laid down. You're totally right.

421
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 1: This is my fault. I actually was just tattooing a

422
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: flamingo on this guy and he asked me to change

423
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 1: it to bend Over, and so it was on my brain. Okay, okay,

424
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 1: late his name bend Dover. It was is now that

425
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,880
Speaker 1: felt a little on the nose. The Orc on Orc

426
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: doesn't feel on the nose. I wouldn't mind a flamingo

427
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 1: as well, if you could throw one in, and maybe

428
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: an anchor. I mean, if you if you want, I

429
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 1: can do whatever you want. I mean, I don't know

430
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 1: how long I'm going to be in this fantastical world

431
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: of yours, and this is what you wanted to do. Yes,

432
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: are you sure? If you don't, if you have a

433
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: limited amount of time, there's a lot to see, alright,

434
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 1: bend over, I mean lay down, lay down, Okay, I

435
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 1: have an oreo blizzard for Orc. That's me. Okay, there

436
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 1: you go, sir, enjoy it. Or if you look over

437
00:27:55,800 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: to your right, that's Henry Winkler's house. Henry Winkler's. Wow. Yeah,

438
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 1: the next stop is going to be weirdly Scott Bail.

439
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 1: They live next door to each other. Their politics are

440
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 1: on the opposite spectrum, but they did. They did that

441
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 1: Happy Day Show together. Property Do I tip you now? Sure?

442
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: Every time I spilled my blizzard? Okay, orc, So what

443
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: you want to do is when the way it comes in,

444
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 1: you just paddle as hard as you can. Okay, it

445
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: feels unnatural, but just do it. Paddle, paddle, paddle, and

446
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 1: then push yourself up and you're surfing. Look at you,

447
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: Look at you. I'm doing it. I dctor. These are

448
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: the ORCS dicks, right, um, so I'm pretty sure I

449
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: got it right this time. Little confusion with the USB

450
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: cord uh and the dick, but figured it out. You know,

451
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: it splinters off naturally. It looks like that. Okay, yeah,

452
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 1: what's my first I'm looking at an ORCS penis normally

453
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 1: look at humans, but it looks like the anatomy because

454
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 1: you know, just it's it's too heady, Jim, Jim, is

455
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: that a bifurcated penis? If you're looking at uh, that's

456
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: exactly it. Holy crap. Or you don't got to be

457
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: in here if you don't know, if you don't want to,

458
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: but I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did someone say bifurcation? Yeah, yeah,

459
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 1: we were talking about it in here. I haven't I've

460
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: never seen a bifurcation in real life. I'd love to

461
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: check that thing out over over. No, that's no lie down,

462
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: because I'm willing to. That's all right. We don't need

463
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: to bend over, It's all right, I mean, I mean,

464
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: don't we We don't need him to bend over to

465
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 1: see a bifurcating penis. But you seem so willing so,

466
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: but so what it wouldn't help with what we're doing.

467
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: I mean, do you want to just bend over if

468
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: you want? I mean, we're not. There's only one of

469
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: the person that's ever been in this office that had

470
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: a bifurcated peace. Who's that? Tell us a story, tell

471
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: usus what's that guy, James Games? What the bifurcated penis?

472
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: I hadn't seen bifurcation like that in my entire life. Man,

473
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 1: regale us with that story. One more. I mean, I

474
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: just remember two heads, two heads, thinking is one? That's yeah,

475
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 1: that's that. That was the big joke. I mean it

476
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 1: was a Tuesday morning. Sure is this more? I log

477
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: in for the penis doctor? Where do I? Where do

478
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: I sign for the penis doctor? Yeah? You sign right here? Okay?

479
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,719
Speaker 1: And how long is the wait? I'd really like to

480
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 1: just get in and see. There's no way there's a line, buddy,

481
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: there's a fucking line. Okay, it's going to be a

482
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: line that there's no way there's a line. But there's

483
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: no weight. All right, there's a lot of women in

484
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: here for this penis dock. Okay, then chunk, there's no

485
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: way is going on in there? That sounds like chukunk?

486
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: It's okay, you know what, maybe I shouldn't come in here.

487
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: So what are you doing today? Listen? I don't know

488
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: what's happening, but where there used to be one general

489
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: there is as it seems to be a schism or

490
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: a split or a you know, can I just show

491
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: you please? It makes that hissing sound too. This is

492
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 1: actually we put this back away, Jesus. Sorry, that was

493
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: unprofessionally that what are you doing? I thought this was private? Uh,

494
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: I'm in every room. It sounds from your story it

495
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 1: sounds like you had a snake in his deck and

496
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: that was but it was the closest bifrication we had

497
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: ever seen. I mean, you should. I mean, for God's sake,

498
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 1: the story should have been he had a two headed

499
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: snake penis. This penis is bifrica. I mean, that's the story.

500
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: It was just the snake in one side, not the other, right, Yeah,

501
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: the other side was a non snake penis. It was

502
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: a p yeah. So I mean, frankly, it's still to

503
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: me counts as bifurcation. Am I wrong or am I wrong?

504
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: I guess on a technicality that has seemed to everybody,

505
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: on a technicality that it seemed to I mean, not

506
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: that I'm worried about it, but yes, yes, James, penis bification.

507
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,719
Speaker 1: It's natural. It's definitely not normal for it now if

508
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 1: it was, yeah, but but it's it's rare. James C.

509
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 1: Three came to us from Patreon v I P member Billy,

510
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 1: who wrote, Hello, Mr Kevin, I'm one of your most

511
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 1: medium fans, but I digress. I'm also one of your

512
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 1: newest Patreon Actually, I love you and all the regulars

513
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 1: and so many of the guests as well. Oh well,

514
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: that covers all of us today. There were a few

515
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 1: days when I expected a zombie apocalypse to overwhelm my

516
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 1: town and alchemy. This has been a great respite. In parentheses,

517
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 1: NYC is trending on the men. Now. Yeah, anyway, I

518
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: had an idea. I thought us would be good at

519
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: improving on I hope he didn't mean improving on Some

520
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: high school age kids are in the nationals of some

521
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: sort of competition, and then he gives several examples. I

522
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: didn't think we needed any of them, but it's nationals

523
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: for a competition among high schoolers. The contestants should give

524
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 1: a speech, possibly explain their dioramas. Shovel up and deal Billy.

525
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: The next contestant is Greg Coman, Gregman. Okay, Greg, look

526
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: focus up. You got this. Okay, buddy, you know how

527
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 1: to do this. You've been been practicing this for a while.

528
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: You got it, Greg, Okay, you can do this. Dad.

529
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 1: You don't need to be here. I know I don't

530
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: need to be here. Okay, but my dad wasn't here

531
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 1: for my speech. Okay, and that affect him a whole life.

532
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: You know that. Okay. This is a big deal, Greg, Okay,

533
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: this is a big deal. How many states were there

534
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 1: when you gave your speech? Okay? Greg. Enough, enough, okay,

535
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: enough at that. All right, you're gonna go out there

536
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 1: and you're gonna deliver your speech. And then I discovered

537
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 1: like six planets at the time, right, Jesus fucking Greg. Huh,

538
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: what the fund is your problem? Huh? You want to

539
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 1: find all of a sudden, you're taking interest in my

540
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 1: life everything? Okay here, yes, yes it is. We're holding

541
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: for effect. Okay, Um, that's nice, that's nice. But um,

542
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: you've been called out to the stage. I think now

543
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: it's going to take your place. Mr geffer Meyer. You

544
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 1: can take a seat if you like. Yeah, it's Mr

545
00:34:56,800 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: geffer Meyer. I'm so sorry Greg. My dad is a

546
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:06,320
Speaker 1: different last name than me because he's barely in my life. Okay, Greg, okay, okay,

547
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 1: that's it's it's okay. Look, I purposely, you know, put

548
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: some distance between me and Greg to build up this resentment.

549
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: He was on the road for five years and it

550
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: shows up out of nowhere and suddenly is like, oh,

551
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: when I help you with your diorama. Okay, Greg, just look,

552
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: I had an initial. I'll tell this guy. Look, So

553
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, my dad wasn't there for me,

554
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: and my dad Diorama speech and anyway started to interrupt here,

555
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 1: but when you Greg out there, what's happening? What's going on?

556
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 1: I announced, I know, but his father is telling me

557
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 1: about how his father wasn't around, and I thought this

558
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: is important. Okay, that's on our need to care basis. Greg,

559
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: are you ready to go out there? Yes, let's do it. Well,

560
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 1: he here? What if I put up? What if we

561
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: sent Gregg's father out first to explain why, because it's

562
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 1: a speech as well, maybe he can explain where Gregg's

563
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 1: coming from because of where he came from. I'm just

564
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: spitballing a pre speech from a father. I mean, it's

565
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:02,320
Speaker 1: never happened before I happened the big proponent of precedent,

566
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 1: Mir Gefferer. It's Mr geffer Meyer. Greg. What do you think? Greg?

567
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 1: What do you think? Look? I know it seems I'd

568
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: be unlikely to say yes to this, but I'm going

569
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 1: to defer to the principle. I'm curious to see how

570
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: this is gonna play out. Well, if this is if

571
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 1: this is gonna happen, Um, maybe the other kids here, channing, Tom,

572
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: you are your parents? Are your parents here? No? My parents? No,

573
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: they moved that parents moved, but I do have a diorama. Sorry,

574
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: let's Sally go. Let's Sally go next. It's great, Let's sorry.

575
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: We had a student here named Sally who died and

576
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: I miss her so much. I understand, but look, did

577
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 1: you kill dad? Did you kill Sally? What? Do you

578
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: stop accusing me of murder? Oh? I can't wait to

579
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: see Greg's speech, you know, I just I love him

580
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: so much like my own. So I'm sorry. I don't

581
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 1: know how many times I can tell you this. I

582
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: don't know. You Please stop talking to me. Okay, Who's

583
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: who's your kid? Is your kid coming up today? Yes?

584
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 1: My child, it's coming up? Please? Could you lead my

585
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: wife alone? Please? I'm sorry. So I wish my wife

586
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: could be here because she's busy. So could you just

587
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: back off at least three four ft? I this is

588
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 1: the seat that I have. I can't really, you can't really,

589
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm here to watch my step to

590
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: a speech. How about that talking? Okay, Okay, I'll stop talking,

591
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: but I can't move this. This is the seat. Hey, Janet,

592
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 1: it's it's daddy and mommy. You have your big speech today? Right?

593
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 1: I do? Yeah? How are you? How are you doing.

594
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: I've been great, incredible, So we'll be eating a lot

595
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: to um. You know, the islands are all different, you know,

596
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: so island hopping often it's so much fun. We want

597
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 1: to make sure that there's a whale. Honey, there's a whale.

598
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 1: There's a whale. Baby. I've been using sun block. M Hey, Janet,

599
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: I saw you on the phone. I wasn't sure if

600
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: you were making that up, if you're really talking to somebody,

601
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:38,359
Speaker 1: goody thing. Okay, no, it's fine, it's just my ken ken.

602
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: You just need I just need somebody out there. Here

603
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: we go, Janet, I wish I could talk. Mr Kiffer.

604
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: Mr Giffer. It's very important that when you finish your speech,

605
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 1: you didn't introduce Greig. Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it.

606
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: I got it. I've done this before. It's prodounced cucumb.

607
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,839
Speaker 1: By the way, it's spelled c u c k upo

608
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 1: trfi ea, but's spelled like cuckum. But it's prodounced shell cup. Okay,

609
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 1: there's no way you've done this before. By the way,

610
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 1: you haven't. You haven't done a speech and then introduce

611
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 1: your son before. Okay, ready, j Jerry, did you want

612
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 1: to introduce Mr. Hello. Everybody, Hello, Hello, Gregg's dad. You're

613
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 1: you weren't there, you weren't. Please stop yelling during this thing, Okay, please?

614
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 1: Is his dead beat dad. I'm not just gonna let

615
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 1: him go up there and do that. Okay, I'll be quiet.

616
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: So I'm here to introduce my son, who's gonna be

617
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: presenting a diorama. And if we think about dioramas, the

618
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:47,800
Speaker 1: thing that we always understand about it's that diorama. It sounds.

619
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,839
Speaker 1: It's a multi syllabic word. So we're gonna be if

620
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 1: you put your hand underneath your chin and you say, everyone,

621
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: do that. Everyone put your hand on your chin, and

622
00:39:54,320 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 1: go up there and eat something. Just certain this is

623
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: his turn. No, no, no, he's talking. He's he's introducing

624
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: my stepson. He hasn't been there. Let me there. I'll

625
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: do this, okay, Okay, this is crazy. Hey, And if

626
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: we think about it, it's not just hey, what are

627
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,879
Speaker 1: you doing up here? The hell are you doing there?

628
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: I've been raising your blood. Well you've been gone, and

629
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: you're just gonna come up and do the speech. I'll

630
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 1: do the priest speech. What what are we supposed to

631
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 1: tell the audience? What the hell is happening? Okay, all right, everybody,

632
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 1: everybody high. I'm the principal here. Greg, come on out

633
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 1: here now. Greg. What we need you to do so

634
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,280
Speaker 1: we can keep this day moving forward is to choose

635
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 1: which one you love more so. I love Randy, my stepdad.

636
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 1: Let's not let's not jump to answer. Easy called Randy

637
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: all the way. I love you, Randy. I love you too.

638
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. This is

639
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: this is bullshit. This is bullshit. Let's uh, let's let's

640
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 1: let's do something here. Let's just get Meyer. I'm I'm sorry,

641
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 1: Mr jeffer Meyer. I could use a dad. Okay, Well, Janet,

642
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: I'm kind of in the middle of something here. I

643
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: need I gotta handle this, Jander. Okay, let let me

644
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 1: just figure this out. Mr kiffer Meyer, it seems that

645
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:27,280
Speaker 1: your parents didn't love you. It's Mr geffer Meyer, asshole.

646
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: Thank you Randy Ken one one person speaking, that's all

647
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 1: we need. Look, listen, listen, Cherry, I appreciate you. Petises

648
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: and stage manager here, you're janitor, you know what I mean.

649
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 1: So the other days of the week you just clean

650
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 1: up vomit with sawdust. Today day this is my dad.

651
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: This is my day. This is it's cool. Janet, vomit

652
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 1: some more. I'm ready. I'm good to go. Is anyone

653
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: else good to go? There's a microphone, there's an introduction

654
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,320
Speaker 1: been given? Who speaking? I have a diorama. It's a

655
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: village of the village of people it takes to raise

656
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 1: its child. Great, Okay, you know what you three, Let's

657
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: get backstage. Janet take it away. Hello everyone, my name

658
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: is Janet. I am hello. That's the fire alarm. So sorry, everybody. Greg,

659
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: Greg stay here with me. Greg, stay here with me.

660
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: I'm not staying here with you. Get away from me. Greg, Creig,

661
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: just stay with me. Okay, do you love me more?

662
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 1: Or you love Randy? Randy? The answer is Randy. Well

663
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,399
Speaker 1: then we both die here break okay, we both found

664
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 1: Is this how you killed Sally? He just pulled the

665
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,840
Speaker 1: fire alarm. We're not gonna die that fun is going

666
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 1: to start a fire. Listen, he burned Sally alive. I

667
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 1: know he did. Oh my god, is that why you've

668
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: been on the run. I've been on the run just

669
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: to dust. Just just clean the bombed up please, I'm

670
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 1: so sorry. Who's who is this man about to give

671
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 1: a leg. Do we know him? No, No, he's not.

672
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,720
Speaker 1: He just every time he every time he sprinkles the sawdust,

673
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 1: he always does this weird thing ashes the Janet. It's okay,

674
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I can't. This is your thing, This

675
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 1: is your thing. I have so much anxiety, Janet, what

676
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: did you eat? Sawdust? Uh? Principal Hampton, I'm looking over

677
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: at the expense report here, and it looks like we

678
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: have eight of the budget going to a sawdust That girl,

679
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: it's a it's a sawdust cut litter mix, so it's

680
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: it's more expensive. Okay, Well that doesn't help what I'm

681
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: looking at here. I don't understand why most of the

682
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 1: budget is going to sawdust. You don't understand, but I'm

683
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: gonna make you understand. Um. Can we get Janet in

684
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:50,919
Speaker 1: my office? Please can get here? Okay, Jesus Christ right here,

685
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:57,800
Speaker 1: Superintendent Chalmers. This is this is this is Janet. Um, Janet,

686
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 1: this is Superintendent Chalmers. Nice see me answer. She is

687
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: the reason why our budget is the way it is.

688
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: But and I mean this, I wouldn't change it. We

689
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: don't need science anymore, we don't need arts anymore. We

690
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: need to make sure that this little girl feels like

691
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: she's safe in con vomit wherever she wants to vomit?

692
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 1: Are you my dad? Get off of me, Get off

693
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 1: of me. She does have a cleaning issue. I can

694
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 1: get off of me. Get off me, Get off of me. Okay,

695
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 1: ok I am sure. Well, Look, if all this budget

696
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 1: is going to making sure that one woman, a little girl,

697
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 1: I guess who's vomiting everywhere and we're not diagnosing or

698
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: we're not putting any effort in to figure out why

699
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: she's throwing up, I'm totally cool with that, all right,

700
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna green light this. Does somebody throw up?

701
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 1: Does somebody throw it up? Ken? Jerry? No one threw up?

702
00:44:54,320 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 1: Why is she dressed like a priest? Oh? My, I

703
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: have my cat and my duffel bag. That's all right, okay, okay, Well,

704
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: thank you for visiting, Superintendent Chalmers. I'm gonna jump on

705
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: my motorcycle spaceship and I'm gonna get the hell out

706
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: of here. Wow, Janet, I hope you realize that i'm

707
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: your daughter, that I'm your daughter, your daughter? No, no,

708
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:30,839
Speaker 1: no no, Do you want a cat? Do you want

709
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 1: a cat? Maybe we could have a school cat okay, Ken, Sorry,

710
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 1: can we not have a school cat? Oh? Okay, X

711
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 1: on the on the you can take it home and

712
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 1: you can call it school. You can give it the

713
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 1: name school. I just rather not be cleaning up after

714
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: a cat along with seven hundred kids. I love the idea.

715
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: Let's give it up for the South Point dead bloated cats.

716
00:45:55,719 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: Let's go, come on, let's give it up. And and

717
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 1: and and Hello. My name is Janet. I am here

718
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 1: to debate. You show us your feet. Okay, get that

719
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 1: guy out of here. Who's that feet guy? Wait? Stop, Janet, Janet,

720
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: it's daddy. What Mommy, it's your dad? Are you for real? Yeah?

721
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 1: I look different as i'm I got a fucking crazy tan.

722
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 1: You're so tan? And why what? What? What is that tattoo?

723
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 1: It's a well, it was supposed to be a flamingo.

724
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 1: It's a lot of story, babe, bend over, that's what

725
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 1: it transformed into. Eventually. Listen, your mom and I just

726
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 1: wanted to say we'll see you soon. We're hopping on

727
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 1: a plane. We are going to hop on, which is

728
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: Spanish for Japan. Uh. We love you. Oh please take

729
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: me with you. But alright, so, yes, you're right, here.

730
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 1: Just remember when you're going to Japan speaks Spanish. It's

731
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: a romance language. Japanese culture embraces it, so and the

732
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: and they'll they'll understand. There's that right, Yeah, I mean yes, Spanish,

733
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 1: darling baby, did you want to speak some of your Spanish? Yes?

734
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 1: A down days sushi boom boom. Yeah that's good, so

735
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 1: fun sushi baby, Leo Taca. Yeah, were's the library. So

736
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna be fine. It's just a cat

737
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 1: in your bag. It's just a cat. It's not Janet.

738
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: It's just a cat. God, I kind of thought this

739
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 1: was gonna happen. So good. I'm a cat. My name

740
00:47:53,840 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 1: is school. I'm a school for cat. Okay, Channi. Here's

741
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,319
Speaker 1: the thing you have to understand. Your mother and I

742
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: are choosing travel travel over you, over you. But I

743
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 1: can come to. I can be a travel to. What

744
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: travel is travel away, travel away to leave, to leave

745
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: your worries behind. But I always wanted to go to Hapan.

746
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: And that's why you won't because you can't say Japan.

747
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: There's a line for me. I need to just there's

748
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 1: no way, there's no wait. So just if you want

749
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 1: to do this outside the office, or I think we

750
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:38,239
Speaker 1: like doing it right here? What's your problem? You know

751
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: you're right. I can go out to the lobby and

752
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 1: do what I do. I don't need this office that

753
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: I spent fifteen years, you know, building up. But that's fine. Yeah,

754
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 1: let me go to the lobby. You want to take you? Once,

755
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 1: you take Chet with you, Jannet, once you go with

756
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 1: with the nice man, Janet, go with this stranger. You're

757
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 1: just sending me off with Greg. I'm really proud of

758
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: the work you did today. I know it didn't thought

759
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 1: it would, but I was disappointed. Well I understand how

760
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 1: you could be disappointed, but it was a unique experience.

761
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: Not a lot of kids get to have thought and

762
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 1: you could have chosen whoever you wanted to be the

763
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: one you love the most. But I really felt special

764
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: that you chose. But no, you can't come to our home.

765
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Oh I can't. I can't come to your

766
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 1: home or here, I am I paid for the guy

767
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: damn home. Well you you might have paid for it

768
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 1: a long time ago, but now it is mine and

769
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: Barbara's house. Greg, Greg, who do you want to who

770
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 1: do you want to be? Your dad? Huh? Randy is

771
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: my dad. Could you guys our show for today yet?

772
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: Randy is my dad and I want to thank all

773
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: the alchemists were gathering this particular session. Joey in the

774
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 1: Zoom Hang changed his name to games Hand again, taking

775
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 1: another terrific shot at James. Uh, Joey, do you have

776
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 1: anything to tell the folks? A Bear supply coming up

777
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:13,440
Speaker 1: Wednesday night? Still on on your west Side Comedy Twitch

778
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 1: twal so everyone towards seven o'clock Bear Supply getting nuts

779
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,840
Speaker 1: is getting crazy and we're gonna get crazier and crazier.

780
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 1: And actually every night at seven you can see a

781
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 1: show at west Side's twitch channel. So it's Twitch dot

782
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 1: com slash west Side Comedy TV. Let's not fight and

783
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 1: Joey James hair color real quick, It's right, it's thank you,

784
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: Thank you, Carla Katkowski, thank you so very very very much.

785
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 1: Thank you. What else would you like to tell us

786
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 1: about what's going on now at the west Side Comedy

787
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 1: Theater um yeah, shows six nights a week. We've got

788
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 1: online classes. Joey Greer is teaching an online class, Chris

789
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,959
Speaker 1: was teaching an online class. Get on that. So people

790
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: just go to Westside Comedy dot com Westie Comedy dot

791
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 1: Com sign up for classes and you can you choose

792
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 1: one of these two knuckleheads to be totally can ye

793
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: oh my god. Yeah, all the infos there. You can

794
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 1: email me Carla at Westside Comedy dot Com with any questions.

795
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 1: Let's keep improv going. Thank you so much for that,

796
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: Chris Alvando. Yeah, I want to use my time to say,

797
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:28,879
Speaker 1: fucking Carlokkelsi is killing it um during this this weird,

798
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:32,279
Speaker 1: weird time. She she along with some others, are keeping

799
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: the theater that we love so much Afloat. She's working

800
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 1: tirelessly and it's really awesome. I mean, it's just true.

801
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: You're just you're doing too much work and we all

802
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: appreciate it. The whole community appreciates it. So we love you.

803
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,120
Speaker 1: And also you're funny and you're great and cool and

804
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 1: Craig like, which is nice. So Craig, did you thank you? Craig?

805
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: Did you want to debate that? Yeah? Yeah, I'll take

806
00:51:55,040 --> 00:52:00,439
Speaker 1: the negive. You don't have to thank you for joining

807
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: us as always. Sure, And if if you need a

808
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,480
Speaker 1: mnemonic to remember the order of the planets, my very

809
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,879
Speaker 1: elegant mother just sat upon nine porcupines always works. That's

810
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 1: if you still consider Pluto a planet. My very elegant

811
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 1: mother just sat upon nine porcuplins. I'll never remember that. James,

812
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: want to write this down real quick, my very elegant

813
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: I just gonna type it, my very elegant mother. You

814
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,360
Speaker 1: know what, I can't do it. Thanks, Thanks, James, appreciate that.

815
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 1: Where can folks find your insanity and genius? James? Oh,

816
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:39,240
Speaker 1: it's every Sunday morning at eleven am Pacific Standard time

817
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 1: there is a live screening of the Minecraft Show, and uh,

818
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: the last couple of weeks, it's been going really well.

819
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 1: If you're interested in zany Minecraft material, check it out

820
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Speaker 1: eleven am on game Front on YouTube. Thank you for that, James.

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Speaker 1: Let's thank our producer and engineer to the stars, Mr

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Speaker 1: Doug Bain, the fine, the fine folks that I heart

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Speaker 1: media from Boom Boom and all of you wonderful listeners

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Speaker 1: out there. We cannot stress enough how much we love

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00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 1: and appreciate you, your emails, all of your comments, patron

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Speaker 1: uh support, all of it. It just means the world

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Speaker 1: to us. So thank you, plain and simple. I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin Polic Until next time,