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Speaker 1: You confession I can't take back o Arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse Speaker Texas seven eighty five nine two says I

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Speaker 2: had to break up with an old boyfriend after he

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Speaker 2: got a chest tattoo of his dad's face with his

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Speaker 2: birth and death date on the Oh my god, it's

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Speaker 2: just made intimacy way too weird.

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Speaker 1: You got a whole memorial on your chest looking at dad.

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Speaker 1: He's always watching.

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Speaker 2: But if your dad is listening to us right now,

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Speaker 2: he'd never know that it's you confessing a terrible family

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Speaker 2: secret to the world because we mask your voice to

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Speaker 2: keep you anonymous and sexy. And we have a guy

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Speaker 2: who's chosen reason, maybe a reason. We have a guy

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Speaker 2: who's chosen to go by the fake name Michael today

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Speaker 2: hopefully to talk about more weird dad stuff. So, Michael,

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Speaker 2: welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Right now, Michael, nobody on my grandpa on my ankle.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever it is. Michael, the voice changer is on.

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Speaker 2: You are the mass speaker. We are ready to hear

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Speaker 2: your confession.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so it's about my grandma.

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Speaker 1: Okay, oh grandma stuff even better?

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Speaker 3: Okay, well my wife's this is my my wife's grandma.

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Speaker 4: Oh law, is that what you call him law.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So I first met her when she was

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Speaker 3: ninety three years old.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it was.

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Speaker 3: A big family to do over the holidays. We went

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Speaker 3: to her house. Everybody still comes over to her house

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Speaker 3: for the holidays.

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Speaker 4: My best friend's grandpa lived to be one hundred and two,

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Speaker 4: and every year I was like, wow, it's gonna be

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Speaker 4: the last one yea for like literally fifteen years.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what was it like meeting Grandma?

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Speaker 3: It was great, except for I had to try her

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Speaker 3: signature holiday dish.

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Speaker 4: Oh you say that was so much hesitation? What was it?

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Speaker 3: Congeal salad?

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Speaker 4: Is it like a yellow salary? You mean?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. It's one of those jello myth swing condensed

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Speaker 3: milk and nuts and pineapple and celery and like the beer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds delicious.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, buck out the nineteen sixties cookbook.

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Speaker 3: That is.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like when you haven't opened your fridge for

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Speaker 2: like a month, and then you look inside the tupperware

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Speaker 2: and you're like, oh.

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Speaker 4: God, exactly, you better have told Grandma that you loved it, right, No, exactly,

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Speaker 4: That's what I did.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, it's so good, wow, so unique,

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Speaker 3: And she just lit up and she was just enthralled

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Speaker 3: with me.

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Speaker 1: You were her favorite grandson in law.

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Speaker 4: Can you taste the olives?

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Speaker 1: Yes, green and black myself. Yeah, but that probably would

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Speaker 1: make her day.

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Speaker 4: That's what everyone should do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, it sounds like you regret that here.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand what's going on.

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Speaker 3: Well, she sent me home with a bunch.

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Speaker 4: You know, she's not at your house. You don't have

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Speaker 4: to eat it, take it and then you throw a

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Speaker 4: bunch of people.

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Speaker 3: These Yeah. Yeah, no, I took it home. I chew

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Speaker 3: it away. Yeah. But we come back to her house

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Speaker 3: every year, and she makes more and more every year,

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Speaker 3: and she's like waiting when I come in the door.

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Speaker 3: She's like waiting with a bowl of.

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Speaker 4: It for me. The ball just gets bigger and bigger.

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Speaker 1: She's probably like, I made you your own pan.

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Speaker 4: Sheoos to make it every year.

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Speaker 1: That's so cute.

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Speaker 4: You wouldn't eat it, Alexis, No, you want her to

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Speaker 4: make Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Does she actually make you eat it in front of her? Yes?

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Speaker 3: She does?

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Speaker 1: Oh God wants to expression.

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Speaker 4: Is that one of those things like I tell my kids,

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Speaker 4: if you try it ten times, you'll finally like it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Well it's been fifteen times. Fifteen times yeah, she's

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Speaker 3: one hundred and eight now, Oh my god, still making

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Speaker 3: congealed salad.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, she can stand up to do that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's the secret to living long.

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Speaker 4: Uh huh, deals your insights, it's the secret elixir.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean there was this one time where she caught

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Speaker 3: me spitting it out into a napkin. Oh no, no, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, she looks so hurt. It was like it

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Speaker 3: even broke my heart, and so I had to like

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Speaker 3: make something up. I said there was a hair in it,

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Speaker 3: or oh.

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Speaker 4: Oh, it's like that's a special ingredient. Obvious.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I had to go back in for another

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Speaker 3: big bite, just cover it.

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Speaker 4: This is great, that's good. I bet you're looking forward

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Speaker 4: to the holidays this year, aren't you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, it's the big family joke. Everybody thinks it's so

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Speaker 3: hilarious to watch me.

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Speaker 4: It's even better.

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Speaker 1: You do realize that it's now yours.

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Speaker 2: Now right, She's going to pass this recipe to you,

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Speaker 2: and you will have to make this for the rest.

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Speaker 4: Of time, and you got to force another family member

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Speaker 4: to eat it.

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Speaker 2: And keep the tradition alive.

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Speaker 3: Yes, hurt people, hurt people.

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Speaker 1: That's the true holiday. Tradition I love.

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Speaker 2: At no point are you considering like telling her, actually

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Speaker 2: I don't like it?

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Speaker 4: Could you break that up?

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Speaker 3: Then she dies and the whole family blames me.

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Speaker 4: Exactly.

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Speaker 1: Help her pass a little bit quicker.

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Speaker 3: I have.

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Speaker 4: She's one of those grandmas that when she does past,

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Speaker 4: she puts the recipe on her tombstone. You know how

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Speaker 4: people do. Yeah, she's pre need to a bunch. I

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Speaker 4: don't know.

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Speaker 1: At the rate it's going, it sounds like Grandma's gonna

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Speaker 1: outlive you. Michael. You'll be eating this till you die.

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Speaker 3: Might be she's unstoppable.

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Speaker 2: Well, sweet confession, Well, good luck at the next holiday event.

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Speaker 2: Enjoyed that salad and texting seven eight five nights you.

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Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make

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Speaker 2: you our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 1: Your phototaph's coming up right after this.

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Speaker 4: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,