WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: How Can I Get Over My Anxiety?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the

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<v Speaker 1>voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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<v Speaker 1>these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering

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<v Speaker 1>a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave

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<v Speaker 1>your question at the sound of the beat.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey Cheeky's.

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<v Speaker 3>So, I need some advice on how to stop talking

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<v Speaker 3>myself out of doing things, because I could talk myself

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<v Speaker 3>out of doing almost anything I don't want to do,

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<v Speaker 3>and that stops me from creating opportunities for myself. And

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<v Speaker 3>I understand that now, but I just don't know how

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<v Speaker 3>to get over that anxiety or that nervousness that you

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<v Speaker 3>get when you know you want to speak up or

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<v Speaker 3>you want to talk to someone, just because like, I

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<v Speaker 3>just don't know where to start, and I figured i'd

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<v Speaker 3>ask you, so any advice will be hopeful. Thank you, I.

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<v Speaker 1>So, lex I first of all want you to know

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<v Speaker 1>that you feeling nervous or any type of like butterflies

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<v Speaker 1>or all that is is fine. I think I like

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<v Speaker 1>feeling those feelings because I like to feel. I like

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<v Speaker 1>to feel things, and it makes me when I feel

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<v Speaker 1>those butterflies or I feel nervous to even still go

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<v Speaker 1>on stage. I feel like, Oh, it's because I'm passionate,

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<v Speaker 1>because I care. So just know that it's because of that.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think maybe what stops you is you think

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<v Speaker 1>of what is the other person going to think of me?

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<v Speaker 1>Or am I capable to do this one thing? Those

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<v Speaker 1>are all human ex experiences. That is all normal. We

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<v Speaker 1>all go through it. But it is absolutely normal. So

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<v Speaker 1>just know that. And I think the first step is

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<v Speaker 1>literally just doing it. The more you do it, the

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<v Speaker 1>better you'll feel. Of course, the first I want to say,

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<v Speaker 1>the first year two years of my career as a singer,

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<v Speaker 1>every time I got on stage, I was like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to do this, I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 1>get on and I would just like, okay, fine, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to do it. Fit even if people don't like

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<v Speaker 1>the way I sound. I have to tune those people

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<v Speaker 1>out and just do it. And the more I did it,

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<v Speaker 1>and the more I did it, the better I felt

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<v Speaker 1>and I got better at it. And it's just literally

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<v Speaker 1>taking that leap of faith and doing it, facing fear

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<v Speaker 1>in the face and saying I'm going to do this.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to conquer this. And the more you do it,

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<v Speaker 1>and the first time that you do it, whatever it

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<v Speaker 1>may be, either like you said, talking to someone, approaching someone,

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<v Speaker 1>or saying hello to a stranger, or starting a new job,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever it may be, it's just literally just telling yourself

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<v Speaker 1>I could do this. I'm going to take this leep

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<v Speaker 1>of I'm going to look at fear in the eyes

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<v Speaker 1>because it's not going to conquer I can do this.

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<v Speaker 1>It will not defeat me. So I know it sounds

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<v Speaker 1>maybe a little silly, but the more you practice it,

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<v Speaker 1>the better it'll get. And just take deep breaths three

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<v Speaker 1>DP breaths. It really relaxes you and you just do it.

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<v Speaker 1>And again, the more you do it, the better it

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<v Speaker 1>will be. Practice makes perfect. That is my advice and

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<v Speaker 1>I hope it helps and I hope that made sense.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, Alex, thank you for your question. I appreciate

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<v Speaker 1>you Okay, So our next question comes from Ari.

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<v Speaker 2>I Cheekyes, So my question for you is, when you

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<v Speaker 2>were my age, which is twenty two, what did you

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<v Speaker 2>do for fun? Like I did the math and you

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<v Speaker 2>were twenty two and like two thousand and seven and eight,

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<v Speaker 2>So like, what did you do for fun? What where

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<v Speaker 2>did you go? Like what music did you listen to?

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<v Speaker 2>Like what was like a day in your life? I'm

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<v Speaker 2>asking because I'm just so obsessed with the early two thousands.

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<v Speaker 2>It just seemed like such a fun time to be

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<v Speaker 2>twenty two. That's my question. Like, I hope you have

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<v Speaker 2>a good day though, and stay blessed. Ari.

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<v Speaker 1>You are a vibe. You are a vibe. I love

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<v Speaker 1>your question. You guys. See, this is what dear Chee

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<v Speaker 1>is all about. Like, I get so many different questions.

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<v Speaker 1>I love this, not Ari putting my age on blast.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's all good. We love you, just kidding. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>I feel very comfortable with my age now. But okay, Ari,

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<v Speaker 1>twenty two, Okay, it's been a little bit, a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit okay, So yes, twenty two thousand and six, two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand and seven, amazing, it was I feel like very different. Obviously,

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<v Speaker 1>my mom was here, so many like amazing things. I

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<v Speaker 1>listened to like so much. R and B so much.

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<v Speaker 1>No doubt, No, No doubt was on my playlist. Destiny's

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<v Speaker 1>Child was on my playlist. Oh my gosh, justin Timberlake

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<v Speaker 1>probably was in sync at that time. But music, I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like, Oh my gosh. Yes, the thousands were amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>Whe early two thousands, guys. So what I was doing

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<v Speaker 1>for fun during that time was I was very involved

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<v Speaker 1>with my siblings, very involved with taking care of them

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<v Speaker 1>and taking care of my mother's businesses. I was doing

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<v Speaker 1>Esthetician school as well. During that time, I would go

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<v Speaker 1>to boxing. That's when I fell in love with boxing.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it was ugh, it was, it was awesome. I

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<v Speaker 1>just felt like I could let out a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>tension and I would take Johnny and my little brother

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<v Speaker 1>with me to go boxing. We lived in Corona during

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<v Speaker 1>that time, so it was just it was cute. I

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<v Speaker 1>had a little buggy. It was convertible. It was convertible.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Oh she just made me reminisce. I

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<v Speaker 1>love it down. I was twenty two, geez, Yeah, what

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<v Speaker 1>else was I doing? I think that's also when I

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<v Speaker 1>kind of started tapping into my spirituality as well. In

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand and six, two thousand and seven, where I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, Okay, I kind of like, you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>this like yoga stuff and what is this? You know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's very new, and I was kind of shy because

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<v Speaker 1>it was like I was like, Okay, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if it's a cool thing because it wasn't cool yet.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's kind of like when I started like looking

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<v Speaker 1>into like spirituality and things like that and stepping out

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<v Speaker 1>of like my religion a little bit. And yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>just grew from there. But yeah, I mean that's all

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<v Speaker 1>I can really think about right now, to be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's a really good question, Mari. I appreciate that.

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<v Speaker 1>That's really really cute. Live your life, girl. You can

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<v Speaker 1>live in the two thousand, early thousands if you want.

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<v Speaker 1>It's all in your mind, it's all in your heart.

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<v Speaker 1>You do it.

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<v Speaker 4>I love that for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, guys, last question comes from Melissa Hi.

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<v Speaker 4>They are beautiful. I'm not even sure how to work

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<v Speaker 4>this question, but from Northeast Ohio. I guess my question

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<v Speaker 4>is how do you separate your professional life from your

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<v Speaker 4>personal life? Because I imagine with as busy as you are

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<v Speaker 4>an entrepreneur, singer, and all the things that you do.

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<v Speaker 4>But I just wonder, how do you separate it so

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<v Speaker 4>that you can still remain simply Jnay.

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<v Speaker 1>Melissa, I like it, okay, Well, it's an everyday thing. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Some days it's easier, some days it's harder. I do

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<v Speaker 1>my best to at least have one day off during

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<v Speaker 1>the week, like one at least where I could just

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<v Speaker 1>do whatever it is that I want. Sometimes I just

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<v Speaker 1>choose to lay in bed. Sometimes I choose to just

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<v Speaker 1>hang out with my husband and go down to Santa

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<v Speaker 1>Monica and do all the things, visit his family, the

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<v Speaker 1>things that make me happy, or hang out with my siblings.

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<v Speaker 1>It is so important and essential for me to have

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<v Speaker 1>one day of rest, to be connected to my home.

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<v Speaker 1>That's one thing that kind of like helps me a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's more than anything being intentional, intentional in

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<v Speaker 1>making that space and making the time to obviously make

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<v Speaker 1>time for my career, because my career is my livelihood.

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<v Speaker 1>It's what like pays the bills, but also Janee, my heart,

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<v Speaker 1>my spirituality, all of that plays a huge part in it,

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<v Speaker 1>because if Jane's not okay, then I can't tend to

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<v Speaker 1>Cheeky's you know, so definitely, it's really being intentional. I

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<v Speaker 1>do a lot I do, and I think that in

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<v Speaker 1>some ways I have spread myself too thin. But now

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<v Speaker 1>I know that, and now I'm going to pick and

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<v Speaker 1>choose and be better with that because I still love

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<v Speaker 1>doing everything that I do. I just really have to

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<v Speaker 1>get my priorities straight and yeah, and make more time

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<v Speaker 1>for my personal life the things that make me happy.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm still working at it. I'm still working

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<v Speaker 1>at it. So it's something I think because life changes

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<v Speaker 1>so much, going to change and I'm going to change,

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<v Speaker 1>so so yeah, Okay, guys, that's the end of this episode.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you guys so much for listening to Dear Cheeky's

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<v Speaker 1>and if you have a question, please leave your question

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<v Speaker 1>at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>see you guys later. This is a production of iHeartRadio

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