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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARBFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: And write us.

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Speaker 1: You know all that we could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 3: Right here, right now. Buckle up, a hold on tight,

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Speaker 3: we got it. Pull you here. Its Strawberry Letters.

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Speaker 2: That's right, nephew, this one could be your subject.

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Speaker 1: You can't do what I do, Dear Stephen Shirley, My

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Speaker 1: husband and I were only having sex three times a month.

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Speaker 1: That may have been cool for him, but I get

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Speaker 1: it when I want it, just not from him. I've

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Speaker 1: had a man on the side for about four months

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Speaker 1: and I don't feel bad about it. My man on

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Speaker 1: the side is loving and thoughtful, and we stay. We

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Speaker 1: only stay in five star hotels. He whinds and dines

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Speaker 1: me before we make love, and he lets me stay

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Speaker 1: overnight in the room if he.

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Speaker 2: Has to leave.

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Speaker 1: He's married and he's very happy in his marriage, but

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Speaker 1: he does not get enough sex at home either. I

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Speaker 1: used to feel bad about it, but I enjoy my

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Speaker 1: time with my side man. I thought I had it

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Speaker 1: all figured out until I came out of a hotel

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Speaker 1: late Saturday night, late one Saturday night, late on a

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Speaker 1: Saturday night, i should say, and I saw my husband's

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Speaker 1: truck park next to my car. I panicked and slowly

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Speaker 1: walked to my car. He left a note on my

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Speaker 1: windshield that said, you can't do what I do. I

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Speaker 1: called his phone to see where he was, but it

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Speaker 1: went straight to voicemail. I went back in the hotel

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Speaker 1: to see if my husband checked into a room. The

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Speaker 1: lady at the desk told me that she couldn't tell

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Speaker 1: me that, but she said a man came in that

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Speaker 1: night and commented that his wife was up in one

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Speaker 1: of the rooms at the hotel. I was so outdone

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Speaker 1: because all this time he was cheating too. When I

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Speaker 1: finally got up the nerve to talk to him about

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Speaker 1: the note, he was calm about it. He said that

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Speaker 1: there's no way he's going to allow his wife to

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Speaker 1: run around behind his back. He said, it's one thing

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Speaker 1: if he does it, because I made him cheat by

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Speaker 1: the way I try to control him. He told me,

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Speaker 1: either I stopped cheating, or I'll have to move out.

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Speaker 1: How can he say that to me if he's still

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Speaker 1: going to be stepping.

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Speaker 2: Out on me? Why the double standard? What do I do?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 1: Double standards have been around since the beginning of time.

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Speaker 1: They aren't going anywhere. I mean, you can ask all

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Speaker 1: you want, they're just not going. So I'm sure your husband.

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Speaker 2: Mean what he says. What do you do you ask? Well?

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Speaker 2: I think it depends on what you want.

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Speaker 1: Your husband already told you you can't do what he does.

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Speaker 2: That's the double standard. He said. He cheats because you

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Speaker 2: try to control him.

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Speaker 1: So unless you stop trying to control him, according to

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Speaker 1: your husband, he's gonna keep cheating. This makes no sense,

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Speaker 1: but it is what it is. That's what he said.

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Speaker 1: You know, you can't fix what's wrong with your marriage

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Speaker 1: by going outside of it cheating, and neither can he.

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Speaker 1: But that's what you guys have chosen to do, and

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Speaker 1: it is tearing your marriage apart. But the damage is

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Speaker 1: done now. This marriage is on life support. It's barely

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Speaker 1: hanging on. So the question is are you willing to

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Speaker 1: give up your side piece for the sake of your marriage?

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Speaker 1: Are you gonna let your husband put you out of

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Speaker 1: the house? Your house to stay with your other man.

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Speaker 1: I mean, those are the questions you have to ask

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Speaker 1: yourself or you know, I don't even know if this

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Speaker 1: marriage is savlegeable at this point because you guys.

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Speaker 2: Are both cheating.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to give up your side piece, and

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Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like your husband is gonna stop cheating.

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Speaker 4: Steve, We're going to do this letter a little bit

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Speaker 4: differently because this is such an obvious letter to me.

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Speaker 4: By the time I make this statement right here, really

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Speaker 4: it's over. So I'll let you all ask many questions

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Speaker 4: you like about this letter. For clarity, let's just get

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Speaker 4: this one thing straight. Why the double standard? This isn't

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Speaker 4: a letter about double standards at all. See the thing

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Speaker 4: that you're trying to make it is when he said

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Speaker 4: when he found when he put the note on the

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Speaker 4: windshield that said you can't do what I do, And

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Speaker 4: then she's going, well why can't I You're thinking that's

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Speaker 4: the double standard.

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Speaker 3: This is not about double standards. This is a.

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Speaker 4: Straight gangster move he's pulling. He calm is all out doors.

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Speaker 4: I went and got me a side piece, chick, because

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Speaker 4: you be trying to control me. But now you're gonna

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Speaker 4: go out here and get you a side piece, dude,

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Speaker 4: and now when you bust it, y'all sitting up here

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Speaker 4: talking about why is this a double standard? No, this

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Speaker 4: is a gangster move, and you and I don't know

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Speaker 4: how you don't see this right here? This is him

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Speaker 4: telling you all in a one sided way, how it's

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Speaker 4: going to go. You have no options here. This isn't

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Speaker 4: double standard. This is a gangster move. Okay, so you

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Speaker 4: dating this, You seeing this side guy who's happily married,

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Speaker 4: but he don't get enough sex at home. You didn't

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Speaker 4: say you were happily married. You just said you only

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Speaker 4: get sex three times a month, but you get it

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Speaker 4: when you want it because you got this side dude.

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Speaker 3: He winds and dines you.

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Speaker 4: Allows you to stay at four star hotels even when

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Speaker 4: he leave if you want to spend the night. I

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Speaker 4: don't know how you can be married and spend the

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Speaker 4: night at a hotel. I just don't understand that. This

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Speaker 4: is crazy. So and he go home every night because

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Speaker 4: he can't do that. I promise you his wife don't

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Speaker 4: know this. I give you my word on this right here.

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Speaker 4: So now you trying to feel good about yourself because

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Speaker 4: he winds and dines you before you have sex.

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Speaker 3: He bought you some food and then y'all have sex.

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Speaker 4: Listen, If I hand you the money and you go

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Speaker 4: eat with it, I hand you the money and you

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Speaker 4: buy drugs with it, or you go drink with her,

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Speaker 4: you go buy a purse with it. It's a transaction,

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Speaker 4: y'all got Now he's polite to you, and you just

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Speaker 4: ain't standing on the street corner.

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Speaker 3: But this is a transaction, and what you're getting out

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Speaker 3: of it is sex, and so is he.

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Speaker 4: And it costs money and most people understand that, but

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Speaker 4: now you're trying to make it look like it's more

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Speaker 4: than that, because you're in a hotel.

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Speaker 3: Room, folk star so.

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Speaker 4: And now you go out to the car, you find

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Speaker 4: a note on the car that says you can't do

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Speaker 4: what I do. Now you want to go back in

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Speaker 4: there to see if you could wait, I'll come back

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Speaker 4: and tell you yeah, And we ain't gonna have no

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Speaker 4: time for no questions.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up with

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject

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Speaker 1: you can't do what I do.

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Speaker 2: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 2: Steve Harvey Morning Show, Great news. Homeowners rates have dropped.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is you can't do what I do.

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Speaker 4: This lady wants to know why the double standard because

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Speaker 4: she got busted cheating.

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Speaker 3: This woman is married to her husband.

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Speaker 4: They only have sex three times a month, she said

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Speaker 4: with him because she got a side dude, because she

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Speaker 4: wanted more than three times a month. The guys kind

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Speaker 4: to her gets her full star hotels. They always eat

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Speaker 4: before they have sex. And when he go home, he

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Speaker 4: lets her stay there all night. If you want to

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Speaker 4: the groom pay for you can't stay that past left though,

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Speaker 4: nky what room you and they got that signed on

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Speaker 4: the door? Checkout time is that you gotta read it

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Speaker 4: right by the peephole. So once he bught a room

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Speaker 4: that evening, he you gonna spend the night. That's what

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Speaker 4: hotel rooms are. And y'all order food. So so now

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Speaker 4: you have it set with this man. Now you go

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Speaker 4: to the hotel one night and you coming out to

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Speaker 4: go getting your truck, and you know that your husband's

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Speaker 4: You go get in your car. You know this. Your

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Speaker 4: husband's truck is PARSD right next to yours, and you

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Speaker 4: look at there's a note on the windshield that says

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Speaker 4: you can't do what I do. You go back in

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Speaker 4: the hotel to ask if your husband has a room.

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Speaker 4: That a lady at the front desk, being how women are,

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Speaker 4: y'all always try to be with each other, he she

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Speaker 4: can't tell you if he got a room there, but

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Speaker 4: she said there was a man that came in earlier

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Speaker 4: that said his wife is upstairs in the room, and

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Speaker 4: he got a room she told. She told, yeah, now,

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Speaker 4: so now I was so outdone because all it's time

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Speaker 4: he was cheating too.

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Speaker 3: Why you out done?

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Speaker 4: Why you out done? Because you got out dead? Is

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Speaker 4: that why you out done? Because you got out dead.

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Speaker 4: When I finally got up the nerve to talk to

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Speaker 4: him about the note, he was calm about it. He said,

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Speaker 4: there's no way he gonna allow his wife to run

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Speaker 4: around behind his back.

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Speaker 3: He said, it's one.

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Speaker 4: Thing if he does it, because I made him cheat

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Speaker 4: the way I try to control him he told me,

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Speaker 4: either I stop cheating or I'll have to move out.

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Speaker 4: How can he say that to me if he's still

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Speaker 4: going to be stepping out on me? Why the double standard?

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Speaker 4: What do I do? There is no double standing. It's

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Speaker 4: a gangster move. Let me explain to you how me

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Speaker 4: a few sis. If I got out, If I got

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Speaker 4: a glass of water, and I asked Shirley, does she

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Speaker 4: want a drink?

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Speaker 3: And she said yeah, she takes the silk.

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Speaker 4: And because their friends, she might say Monica, would you

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Speaker 4: like a silk? And it's thirsty, and Monica might take

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Speaker 4: a sip of the water, and then Carling might take

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Speaker 4: the water, and they bring the glass back to me.

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Speaker 4: If I take my finger and I put my finger

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Speaker 4: in that glass, and then I let Tommy put his

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Speaker 4: finger in the glass, and then I let Jr. Put

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Speaker 4: his finger in the glass of the water, and then

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Speaker 4: I hand it to Shelly. Shelley, you want something, she

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Speaker 4: gonna say no, call it gonna say no. Monica can

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Speaker 4: see that's how sexy is. Cause see, once a man

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Speaker 4: looks at it like that, wants you to let some

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Speaker 4: people put put their finger in the water. That water

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Speaker 4: ain't the same no more. And that's how we say,

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Speaker 4: Cause see we could, we could take our finger and

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Speaker 4: dry it off and it never been in the water.

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Speaker 4: But once you put the finger in the water, it's

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Speaker 4: always in the water. You feel me, Can you understand

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Speaker 4: what I'm telling you?

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Speaker 2: That's nasty.

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Speaker 4: I take my finger out the water, I dried off.

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Speaker 4: It's like it's never been in the water. But once

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Speaker 4: you you had a water and a bunch of fingers

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Speaker 4: been in it, you can't. And that's what and so

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Speaker 4: that's what the double standard is. It's nothing else. Now

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Speaker 4: you are stupid, ma'am. If you gonna let him put

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Speaker 4: you out the house for cheating while he cheating, that's dumb.

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Speaker 4: How he busted you was brilliant. But you went back

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Speaker 4: in that to the hotel. What was you finna do?

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Speaker 4: That was domb Then you brought up the note to him.

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Speaker 4: He calm as hell now cause he got you. He

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Speaker 4: got you feeling some kind of way. Listen, this letter

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Speaker 4: makes no sense at all. You all don't have a

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Speaker 4: marriage because both of y'all have violated the marriage in

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Speaker 4: the most vile.

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Speaker 3: Way you can do, both of y'all. So just in

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Speaker 3: this you.

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Speaker 4: Don't want him, and he don't want you. But now

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Speaker 4: guess what I promise you. The marry dude ain't leaving his.

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Speaker 1: Wife yet can't go to him.

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Speaker 3: He happily married. So this is not a double standard.

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Speaker 4: Man. You just got played, you got busted, and you

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Speaker 4: found out your husband was doing the same thing.

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Speaker 3: That's all. It ain't no big.

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Speaker 4: Deal, all right, But I'm not leaving a note on

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Speaker 4: well if you if I'm married and you in the

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Speaker 4: room with somebody, when you come out, you will be

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Speaker 4: the note. But it won't be a windshield for you

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Speaker 4: to put it on. Yeah, your note gonna be on

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Speaker 4: top of the glass in the sun. Yeah, but it

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Speaker 4: ain't gonna be You ain't gonna have no stands where

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell you all that out and I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: be in my truck waiting on you to come out.

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Speaker 2: All right, Thank you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: This Saturday, I will be in my hometown of Chicago

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Speaker 1: for the ninth annual Sister Struck Pink Celebration in honor

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Speaker 1: of breast cancer awareness. It will be at the Salvation

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Speaker 1: Army Ray and Joan Kropp Community Center that's at twelve

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Speaker 1: to fifty West one hundred and nineteenth Street, on the

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Speaker 1: south Side.

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Speaker 2: We start at ten am.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully I will see you there this Saturday, October fourth,

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Speaker 1: and you can post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app

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Speaker 1: Free Never Sounded So Good.

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Speaker 2: You can download it.

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Speaker 1: Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show