Speaker 1: Welcome to this episode of Emergency Call.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy to finally.
Speaker 2: Be back home, the home, sweet home. I'm coming home.
Speaker 2: I'm coming, when I'm coming, all over your bed, I'm coming.
Speaker 3: Oh that I'm coming.
Speaker 1: You know, some people have a plastic layer. Okay, Kay's
Speaker 1: blowing o's with the puff bar.
Speaker 2: I gave him back there.
Speaker 3: We also have a live audience through the windows of
Speaker 3: our house.
Speaker 1: You know how some people have like a plastic wrap
Speaker 1: over their sofa to keep it protected. I've done that
Speaker 1: with a seaman and come and spit. So there's a
Speaker 1: protective like card. Like if you go touch our sofa,
Speaker 1: it's like this sound.
Speaker 3: That's what I did. Your pillow too, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Know, but it's I'm happy because I can chip it
Speaker 1: off at instead of biting my f.
Speaker 3: Do not let me sit on your leather couch if
Speaker 3: it is peeling, because I will peel that shit more.
Speaker 3: Do not let me do that. It's like a face mask,
Speaker 3: like you know the American psycho face mask. Okay, well,
Speaker 3: I have a question. I saw little YACHTI asked this question,
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, this is a good question
Speaker 3: for y'all. If you have one week left to live?
Speaker 3: What would you do or say to the world that
Speaker 3: you've always wanted to do, or say.
Speaker 1: Um, I'm so quick at the mouth publicly, I don't
Speaker 1: know that. I think it's a problem that there's.
Speaker 2: Too much I have said already.
Speaker 1: So I think I would do the opposite, and I
Speaker 1: would revert to silence.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say there's seven hours left there and then
Speaker 3: like start a counting down in their head and then
Speaker 3: like everyone's freaking the fuck out and calling their loved
Speaker 3: ones and telling you I love you, I love you,
Speaker 3: like we're all gonna die, Like what's gonna happen? Is there?
Speaker 3: It after like everyone's freaking the fuck out, and then
Speaker 3: the clock hits seven and it's just like bruh, bruh,
Speaker 3: bruh sound effect and that's it.
Speaker 2: Across the world. How would you even get that?
Speaker 3: Like, I'm omnipresent, So in.
Speaker 1: This hypothetical, you have the power to do anything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think mine is I would like count down to
Speaker 1: my death like I'm releasing a brand, so I'd be
Speaker 1: like so excited to like share this with you guys
Speaker 1: next week. It's gonna be big and like get a
Speaker 1: bunch of like graphics and stuff done as if I'm
Speaker 1: like releasing a brand, and then on the day that
Speaker 1: I died, it's just a raw photo of me in
Speaker 1: an open casket so I can hurt everybody. Open caskets
Speaker 1: are so unnatural. I don't know why we do that.
Speaker 1: That is like the weirdest thing ever I know.
Speaker 3: Like the last fucking images I have of my loved
Speaker 3: ones are them with like the worst full beat or whatever.
Speaker 3: Like it's like cakey as.
Speaker 2: Fucking literally on his side.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how like it's not cho Like literally my brother
Speaker 3: had like like an iconic birthmark under his eye and
Speaker 3: they fucking covered it up, like they made it like
Speaker 3: pale and nasty, and I was just like, oh my god, Like,
Speaker 3: if you're gonna be eat, like if you're gonna be
Speaker 3: a Morgue beater, like you have to beat down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you need to like be going to Is that
Speaker 2: what they call that? A body beater?
Speaker 4: That's what the body beat?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what they call me when I hit when
Speaker 3: I'm hitting it.
Speaker 2: Ye, I don't think that's a good thing.
Speaker 3: No, Like, because you beat it up? Shots, all right,
Speaker 3: who's going to give me back? Shots? You know? Like
Speaker 3: dead ass who in this room is going to give
Speaker 3: me back shots going to be who's doing It's going
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 2: Or maybe it's me me and can tussle for it.
Speaker 3: Tussle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can go back, tussle around and then you
Speaker 1: can pick whoever.
Speaker 4: We could loky go back to back for hours on you.
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, we could just toss you back and forth.
Speaker 3: Back to black by what's her name? Amy wine House?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, cool, good good opener.
Speaker 3: Anyways, anyway, I would say for my last words, I
Speaker 3: would be like, fuck, what's like something hilarious?
Speaker 4: I could say right now the crowd.
Speaker 2: Over you wish you could fart on everybody? Yeah, that
Speaker 2: sounds like something you would say honestly.
Speaker 4: Under pressure, I probably say something like crazy. I can't
Speaker 4: think of right now, but I would probably something crazy.
Speaker 1: I would say something overly emotional so that when I
Speaker 1: die there's like gorgeous edits to me on TikTok No.
Speaker 3: My the first one that came to my mind is
Speaker 3: I like that one joke on Twitter where it's like
Speaker 3: if I like, like, the last thing I would do
Speaker 3: is I would hack like your favorite K pop stands
Speaker 3: Twitter and tweet some like really insane, blasphemous shit and
Speaker 3: just like ruin their career and log off forever. That's
Speaker 3: that's the last thing I would do.
Speaker 1: That's like I would do a tued talk, probably something
Speaker 1: positive for the world.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say something positive too, drew me and
Speaker 4: would say something really positive and.
Speaker 1: Just like you're just like a negative Nancy over good note.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm saying you a gonna die.
Speaker 3: Now, You're gonna die.
Speaker 2: The lighting in here is too clear, and I'm looking
Speaker 2: at you like you're a person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like when when I like get like
Speaker 3: too high, I like see through people and I see
Speaker 3: them for who they really are, and I like psychoanalyze
Speaker 3: them until like they're the like reason why they act
Speaker 3: the way they do, like as far as like childhood,
Speaker 3: and I can like see the facade that they've built
Speaker 3: and like break it down piece pie piece, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: like the reason you act this way is because this
Speaker 3: happened to you, like and like that's the way you are,
Speaker 3: and it freaks me the fuck out. Also, I can
Speaker 3: just see through the facade of television and like Netflix
Speaker 3: in general, it's like created by like illuminati aliens to
Speaker 3: keep us like stupid, Like.
Speaker 1: I'm one of the only people who could tell that
Speaker 1: the stuff on Netflix isn't real.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, like dead ass, like dead ass. I
Speaker 3: feel like I'm the only one, like.
Speaker 1: I get I'm the only one who could tell this
Speaker 1: is like made for like childish, like human like entertainment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like that's why I only watch.
Speaker 3: It's to keep us dumb. It's to keep us dumb,
Speaker 3: tells Park is to keep me intelligent. But anyway, so
Speaker 3: I didn't tell you about this, but after the first
Speaker 3: day of the pop up, like I think it was
Speaker 3: like the Monday after me and Josiah really really wanted
Speaker 3: to like go get massages.
Speaker 4: And that sucks.
Speaker 3: We like book, like, We've looked at a bunch of
Speaker 3: places and we were just like we don't want to
Speaker 3: like travel that far, like we don't want to do
Speaker 3: all that. So we just went to the one really
Speaker 3: really close to the house that's like a five minute
Speaker 3: walk away basically, and like we get there and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: this place is like insane. Like there was like a
Speaker 3: giant like construction like truck out front, and I was like,
Speaker 3: are they even open? And like we had to walk
Speaker 3: through like twenty construction. Yeah, we had to like walk
Speaker 3: through like twenty construction workers and all this shit, and
Speaker 3: I was just like, damn, this is like like it's
Speaker 3: it was around noon, so I was like, oh, they're
Speaker 3: probably on our lunch break anyways. So like we go in,
Speaker 3: we book an appointment, we pay, which I've never done before,
Speaker 3: and right after we pay, they're like, oh, there's like
Speaker 3: no refunds. But also they're doing construction upstairs. And I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, word, like that's not that deep, Like
Speaker 3: construction isn't that crazy, Like it's not Yeah, it's like
Speaker 3: I've heard construction. It can't be that bad. Oh my
Speaker 3: fucking god, dude. It was insane. It literally felt like
Speaker 3: they were like kept fucking throwing grenades upstairs, and like
Speaker 3: they were like ripping down walls, and like every once
Speaker 3: in a while they would get above my room where
Speaker 3: I was getting my massage and just drop like a
Speaker 3: hammer and like a cinderblock and like you would see
Speaker 3: like dust fall from the roof and like hit me
Speaker 3: in my eyes and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: like the roof is gonna collapse, and like I was
Speaker 3: just like dying laughing the entire time, and like the masseuse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was like a massage to practice your focus
Speaker 1: on good feelings instead of anxiety, and that's why they
Speaker 1: were there.
Speaker 4: It like imagine you like lying down getting a massage
Speaker 4: and there's like cracks for.
Speaker 3: Me, No, that's literally like what it fucking felt like
Speaker 3: like you could see the roof like bow and shake
Speaker 3: like they would. It was like I really cannot iterate
Speaker 3: to you how loud it really actually was like it
Speaker 3: I'm trying to like give an example, but like I
Speaker 3: don't know, like upstairs neighbor activities like dead fucking serious,
Speaker 3: Like it was crazy, and like it was also like
Speaker 3: before I was like, I want a deep tissue massage
Speaker 3: because I want to be bruised, battered and bleeding when
Speaker 3: I leave the masseuse, Like I want to like literally
Speaker 3: be claim yeah, like I want to. I want it
Speaker 3: to fucking hurt down. And it felt like she was
Speaker 3: fucking petting me like a cat. Like it was like
Speaker 3: not the vibe at all, Like I was like and
Speaker 3: I kept telling her. I was like, can you like
Speaker 3: go a little harder because I finally, every time I'm
Speaker 3: in a massage, I'm like always too scared to speak
Speaker 3: up because I'm like, I'm not gonna tell this like
Speaker 3: poor woman or man to do like their fucking job.
Speaker 3: They know what they're doing. This time, I was like, finally,
Speaker 3: like I'm gonna be a brave boy and ask for
Speaker 3: the service I asked for, and she literally ignored me
Speaker 3: three fucking times. Like she acted like I did not
Speaker 3: fucking exist at all. It was like insane and like
Speaker 3: I was also just like laughing and like the only
Speaker 3: words she said was like, oh, too hard, and I
Speaker 3: was like, no, not at all. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm laughing because the roof is about the cave in,
Speaker 3: and she just like got silent, and I was just like, damn, okay.
Speaker 3: So you know what I did is I stole the
Speaker 3: fucking yoga hands from them.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I actually didn't do that. I wish I did.
Speaker 3: They're like these cute little rainbow shorts, and I wish.
Speaker 1: I'd, oh, you would want to steal some rainbow shorts,
Speaker 1: So that makes sense.
Speaker 4: Hello, damn. Only ten minutes before the first walk up.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, he's hitting himself.
Speaker 4: Oh god, he's smacking himself in the head. Guys, Oh
Speaker 4: my god.
Speaker 2: Are you okay? Do you need a second.
Speaker 3: Got the fuck up?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, what the fuck?
Speaker 3: I'm good. Let's keep rolling keeping.
Speaker 1: Somebody needs another massage because you're freaking out. I was
Speaker 1: watching through old episodes of Field Trip because I was like,
Speaker 1: we need to start doing something like that again, like
Speaker 1: it's so funny, and it was like so much of
Speaker 1: it like landed.
Speaker 2: Like I was watching through one of the episodes yesterday
Speaker 2: and you said the Druth back.
Speaker 3: Then that was the band name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so crazy, Like I didn't remember that.
Speaker 2: That's where that originated.
Speaker 3: The Druth will set you free, but first it'll piss
Speaker 3: you off. But first it'll piss you off.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The truth has been around for so long it's crazy.
Speaker 3: I mean, like what people don't realize is I found
Speaker 3: like a silver like a group of silver tablets like
Speaker 3: kind of explaining the like following of the truth, and
Speaker 3: like people always that's in our backyard, buried by a bush,
Speaker 3: and people are like, oh, that's like like Mormonism like whatever, No,
Speaker 3: like it was silver tablets on ass so like.
Speaker 2: Yet the Mormon tablet's gold.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Basically, Like long story short, like we all have to
Speaker 3: jump into a volcano, oh to set ourselves free from Samsara.
Speaker 1: Who saw Oh Samsar is the devil.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I think it's like reincarnation, okay, like
Speaker 3: the like world of reincarnation. But that could have been
Speaker 3: the most ignorant should I've ever said.
Speaker 4: I'm looking up scientology right now, and it seems this
Speaker 4: seems like really similar.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm looking up and down your mom and like
Speaker 3: I want to bang her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's gonna get banged. If er says he's
Speaker 2: gonna bang, he's gonna bang.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he probably will.
Speaker 2: And she's gonna love it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she'll probably love it.
Speaker 1: Oh, love it, love it, Love it, baby, Because oh
Speaker 1: my god, gods, it's a Black Friday. Congrats anybody watching
Speaker 1: this on Black Friday?
Speaker 2: How exciting when.
Speaker 3: You isn't doing Black Friday this year.
Speaker 1: Black Friday is the craziest vibe ever I know. It
Speaker 1: is so crazy.
Speaker 3: It's like that one what was that one beach like
Speaker 3: Normandy Beach, like Doomsday where they like old beach, you know,
Speaker 3: they put like a bunch of them like soldiers on
Speaker 3: that beach and like all of them died. That's what
Speaker 3: Black Friday is, am.
Speaker 1: I are you saying that? All I can think about
Speaker 1: isade is on the beach.
Speaker 3: That's literally that's what she was referencing, Like literally that
Speaker 3: being your like culture reference referencesting that.
Speaker 2: But that's it, right, Yeah, so she's teaching.
Speaker 3: No, she's spilled.
Speaker 4: She spilled.
Speaker 3: But yeah, they're not doing Black Friday at Friday at
Speaker 3: Walmart this year, which I feel like is like literally
Speaker 3: a sign of the end. Like, yeah, it's really.
Speaker 2: Busy Friday happen at Walmart, Like that's.
Speaker 3: Where it should be happened. That's like the only place
Speaker 3: it should happen. And like a lot of like twenty
Speaker 3: four hour stores since the pandemic have not been twenty
Speaker 3: four hours and like a lot of you bitches have
Speaker 3: not experienced a Walmart run at three am, and how
Speaker 3: fucking horrifying. So that is, and like how like it
Speaker 3: is the pinnacle of people watching.
Speaker 2: Like or like twenty four hour CBS.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like there's some CBS's that are still
Speaker 1: twenty four hours.
Speaker 3: Or twenty four hour challenge in an Amazon factory. Brent
Speaker 3: rivera YouTube video?
Speaker 2: Is that like a video he did?
Speaker 3: Uh No, but he's been like trying to bring it back.
Speaker 3: I don't fucking know what his vibe is like his
Speaker 3: video scare me more than mister Beast. Like he's like
Speaker 3: has like money and like does really big videos and
Speaker 3: it freaks me the fuck out. And also, I swear
Speaker 3: to god, him and his sister are making out like constantly.
Speaker 3: They're creepy as fuck.
Speaker 1: Bro, Like, I mean, you can't even judge that because
Speaker 1: we're like second cousins and we do it.
Speaker 3: So it's like, don't it's a little different. Okay, I
Speaker 3: get I be a little different.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is legally different, like very different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, could you get like arrested for just making out
Speaker 1: with a family member?
Speaker 3: I don't know, Like isn't divorce illegal or some shit
Speaker 3: like infidelity? Like bit like no one goes to jail
Speaker 3: for infidelity like or cheating or what.
Speaker 2: Except for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna be met with papers because I'm tired
Speaker 1: of being cheated on by you.
Speaker 2: Like I have to do.
Speaker 3: Something, and I'm gonna knew it was a slight in
Speaker 3: a whore before you started banging me, but you said you.
Speaker 1: Would change for me, and I like, I guess I
Speaker 1: was just.
Speaker 3: Stupid wasting no okay, Okay, If anything.
Speaker 2: I tried to get it in our prenup that if
Speaker 2: you cheated.
Speaker 3: We wantreanup, we want preanup.
Speaker 2: Prenups don't even work like it.
Speaker 1: Like if like I started like seeing somebody who was
Speaker 1: like a fucking gazillionaire and my whole lifestyle change and
Speaker 1: they had me sign a prenup, I can still get
Speaker 1: a divorce and then be like this is unfair and
Speaker 1: will be traumatic for me to go back to my life,
Speaker 1: and I can still get.
Speaker 2: Money out of that. Did you know that? Yeah, you
Speaker 2: can still fully get money.
Speaker 4: Because I protected you.
Speaker 1: No, because if I mean you don't need protection, so
Speaker 1: like you shouldn't even be thinking about being protected.
Speaker 4: As someone who will be Oh you said.
Speaker 2: You thought it protected me. Yeah, like someone like me
Speaker 2: needs but toution.
Speaker 4: Yeah, someone with millions and millions of dollars so much money,
Speaker 4: like someone with billions of dollars.
Speaker 1: It's crazy that Like I used to be like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, like hoarding wealth is bad, but like now
Speaker 1: I fuck with it.
Speaker 2: Now I get it.
Speaker 4: What billions?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the podcast is like estimated to be
Speaker 1: worth like ten point seven billion right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's actually crazy.
Speaker 3: No, we need to bring back wealth hoarding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to.
Speaker 3: Bring it back.
Speaker 2: Can we do like enough enough judging for it? Like
Speaker 2: it's fine.
Speaker 4: I feel like the one percent hasn't sequestered enough money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was thinking saying.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, they like they're seeming a
Speaker 2: little cheap right now.
Speaker 4: The statistic it's like, since the pandemic, fifty percent of
Speaker 4: the wealth has been sequestered to like the one percent.
Speaker 4: It should be one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there shouldn't be fifty per alright, so
Speaker 3: right now there's technically lower and like a false middle class,
Speaker 3: and then the upper class it should literally just be
Speaker 3: upper class and like no lower class people just be bottled. Yeah, yeah, bottoms.
Speaker 2: We want to like like divide the wealth or.
Speaker 4: I want it to all like I just want Jeff
Speaker 4: Bezos to have.
Speaker 3: All the money. Yeah, and I want.
Speaker 4: Him to like get on a spaceship and then just what.
Speaker 2: Are we supposed to do then if that happens.
Speaker 3: Guys, wait till you realize that money isn't real and
Speaker 3: that it's like every time we make a transaction, we're
Speaker 3: coding this simulation and you can change the simulation by
Speaker 3: not using money. It's like binary ones and zeros. Every
Speaker 3: transaction you make you're coding the simulation.
Speaker 4: I saw Drew. He was looking at an incense like
Speaker 4: smoke coming from it and he was just like controlling
Speaker 4: it with his mind. And then I kid you not,
Speaker 4: his bank account was open, and then numbers were just
Speaker 4: going up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what the hell can he do that for mine?
Speaker 3: Hell? No?
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, you don't believe in like you.
Speaker 3: Need a moonwater Courts necklace.
Speaker 2: To make my money?
Speaker 3: You go up, Yeah, it brings like a burden.
Speaker 2: What does that look like?
Speaker 3: It's a moonwater quartz necklace, babe.
Speaker 1: I guess only somebody with as much wealth as you would.
Speaker 3: Know what it looks like exactly.
Speaker 2: Isn't it expensive? Like rock?
Speaker 3: No, don't call it a fucking rock?
Speaker 4: And you no, it's a mineral.
Speaker 3: It's a mineral. It's a crystal mineral.
Speaker 2: That's literally a rock. I can't believe that, like Drew,
Speaker 2: what Drew spends.
Speaker 1: His money on will like always astonish me. I was
Speaker 1: like gone for a week for work and I came
Speaker 1: back and Drew was like, yeah, I can't work out
Speaker 1: yet because of my facial and I was like kind
Speaker 1: of confused because when I came back, he had a
Speaker 1: bunch of like Korean face masks, and I was like,
Speaker 1: which one of these told me couldn't get like get sweaty.
Speaker 1: And then we were like going into the gym to
Speaker 1: shower because our fucking house is falling apart and we
Speaker 1: don't have warm water and we paid our bills, but
Speaker 1: actually the pipes are literally all fucking busted and we
Speaker 1: only have freezing cold water in the house right now,
Speaker 1: so we have to go.
Speaker 2: To the gym. Dude, yeah, even Bill, and it was
Speaker 2: like lukewarming. We were like, oh, this is weird.
Speaker 1: We had someone come try to fix it, and then
Speaker 1: it was like a little warm, and we were like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I guess we're just never gonna have as hot of
Speaker 1: water as we used to have. But now no hot water,
Speaker 1: well none like coming.
Speaker 2: They're like fun out.
Speaker 3: No literally both plumbers that came. We have a third
Speaker 3: one coming tomorrow. Where like I have literally never seen
Speaker 3: anything like that in my life. Like, I don't know
Speaker 3: why this is happening right now.
Speaker 1: It's literally because that apartment wants us out and I've
Speaker 1: been here for five years. It's five years, yeah, in May,
Speaker 1: it's five years.
Speaker 4: They ran through that apartment, Like I love that apartment.
Speaker 4: No it is. Last night I was actually looking around
Speaker 4: and I was like, there's really beautiful like ornamental trim. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I feel like it's kind of rare.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, because like even if you look at
Speaker 1: the other apartments in the complex, like when people would
Speaker 1: move out, we would go look at them because we're like,
Speaker 1: I'm so curious what our neighbors houses look like, and
Speaker 1: they ripped.
Speaker 2: All that out, like they try to make all of
Speaker 2: them like modern.
Speaker 4: I love though, when when people like a developer in
Speaker 4: La will have like this beautiful old like old interior
Speaker 4: and then I'll just gut it and put like a
Speaker 4: gray yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm actually yes, I'm so such a proponent
Speaker 3: for like like killing history and just forgetting history.
Speaker 1: Like you should be able to go into home and
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, so many lives have been
Speaker 1: lived here. It's so beautiful and gorgeous and well kept.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tear it down and put a fake marble
Speaker 1: slab on this island that will get stained by everything.
Speaker 4: I want to walk into my house and immediately go insane.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I want to feel like I'm going into an airbnb
Speaker 1: every time I go home. That's kind of the new vibe.
Speaker 3: It has to smell like bleach.
Speaker 4: I want to feel like I'm fifty one to fifty
Speaker 4: at all times.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Have you all heard of the monkey ladder experiment?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Do you want to know about it?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: Please? I think you're gonna tell us, but yes, okay.
Speaker 4: Yes please.
Speaker 3: So basically, this group of scientists got four monkeys and
Speaker 3: put them in an enclosure with a ladder up a tree,
Speaker 3: and at the top of the ladder there were bananas,
Speaker 3: and they were all hungry. And so one day a
Speaker 3: monkey climbed up the tree to get or climbed up
Speaker 3: the ladder to get the bananas, and when he reached
Speaker 3: the bananas, the other three monkeys at the bottom were
Speaker 3: all sprayed with really really cold water. Right.
Speaker 4: Fuck, I was asleep? Sorry did you say something? Oh
Speaker 4: like that? Did you say something before I fell asleep?
Speaker 4: I just got super bored. I just got super bored,
Speaker 4: and then I just fell asleep.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was telling you about the monkey ladder experiment.
Speaker 4: Where am I?
Speaker 2: Can you please be persent? I'm talking about the monkey ladder.
Speaker 3: No, it's really important, it's really important right now?
Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, yeah, I actually got seriously like.
Speaker 3: It's really really you also fell asleep.
Speaker 2: Wake up.
Speaker 3: It's really really like topical for what's going on right now.
Speaker 3: But basically, so the monkeys at the bottom that weren't
Speaker 3: on the ladder getting the bananas all got sprayed, and
Speaker 3: when the monkey came down, they were pissed at him
Speaker 3: and beat the fuck out of him. They like literally
Speaker 3: this literally happened. They were beating the fuck out of
Speaker 3: this monkey that climbed the pissed ladder for getting them
Speaker 3: sprayed with water. And so then another day another monkey
Speaker 3: went up and he went to reach for the bananas,
Speaker 3: and all of the monkeys at the bottom, including the
Speaker 3: one that just was up there, got sprayed with water,
Speaker 3: and then he came down and got beat the fuck up.
Speaker 3: They were like pissed off. Well, then so this went on,
Speaker 3: new monkey going up, monkeys at the bottom getting sprayed.
Speaker 2: Why could only one monkey go up at a time.
Speaker 3: It's just for the sake of these and then like
Speaker 3: bund poke holes in it, like and then so like
Speaker 3: the point isn't them reaching the bananas. The point is
Speaker 3: the monkeys at the bottom getting sprayed. And then so
Speaker 3: they like kept doing this. They couldn't reach the bananas
Speaker 3: they were keeping. They kept getting sprayed at the bottom.
Speaker 3: So eventually, like everyone was like tired, and so they
Speaker 3: would take out one of the monkeys that was in
Speaker 3: the experiment and replace it with a new monkey. And
Speaker 3: they kept doing this over and over again, and like
Speaker 3: a monkey would go and climb up and reach for
Speaker 3: the bananas, everyone would get sprayed. They'd be pissed. Well,
Speaker 3: then eventually they would take another monkey out and put
Speaker 3: a new one in, and like before even like they
Speaker 3: even started climbing the ladder, the rest of the monkeys
Speaker 3: literally just started beating the fuck out of this monkey
Speaker 3: and was like, do not go up there. We will
Speaker 3: get sprayed with water, Like do not do it? Whoa,
Speaker 3: And they kept replacing all the old monkeys with new
Speaker 3: monkeys until eventually they all started just beating the fuck
Speaker 3: out of each other, like without even going for the bananas.
Speaker 3: And basically this is like what like it's kind of
Speaker 3: like an example of like what society is like, like
Speaker 3: if you're not like asking questions and you're like you're
Speaker 3: just being indoctrinated into these ideals and thoughts that like
Speaker 3: you think are right, but like they might not actually
Speaker 3: be right, and you might be getting beat the fuck
Speaker 3: up for asking the right questions and like not questioning
Speaker 3: things when in reality, like the things you're hot might
Speaker 3: not be the right things.
Speaker 2: When was that study done?
Speaker 3: I don't know I made all of that up?
Speaker 2: Did you actually?
Speaker 1: Well, that's a really interesting like that was crazy, but impressed.
Speaker 3: It's indoctrination at the end of the day, and if
Speaker 3: you're not asking the right questions, you.
Speaker 1: May find that you were being taught something that is
Speaker 1: completely immoral and crazy and you need.
Speaker 2: To wake up.
Speaker 3: They don't want you. They don't want you asking the
Speaker 3: right question.
Speaker 4: Yeah, imagine clocking into your job is like the monkey sprayer, like.
Speaker 3: With the fire, I'm getting paid. I probably also told
Speaker 3: that study really wrong, but so like, watch someone else
Speaker 3: talk about it that knows what the fuck they're talking about.
Speaker 1: It's okay, somebody who wants to clock you will clock.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but basically you got the gist of it, Like.
Speaker 4: You es, Do you have more monkey studies?
Speaker 3: You know? No?
Speaker 1: I like the idle the idea, Like every time you
Speaker 1: said the monkeys are getting beat up, you going like this.
Speaker 4: I think like fifty thousand people signed up for neuralink.
Speaker 3: Oh I did whoa I actually, yes, you can. Actually
Speaker 3: I literally signed up for the one. The pre signed
Speaker 3: up before, and I signed up for the one, and
Speaker 3: I told them I was blind because I wanted to
Speaker 3: get Nuralink first. I'm gonna get that ship, and so
Speaker 3: I'm getting the market beats.
Speaker 2: The way you would have even been able to like
Speaker 2: fake that.
Speaker 3: Damn, someone jacked our ship for real. Fuck y'all.
Speaker 2: Wait, what what's gone up there?
Speaker 3: There's holes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know some of the stuff is gone, like
Speaker 2: something was taken. I like, my favorite toys are here,
Speaker 2: but I can't nobody have a photo.
Speaker 4: Wasn't there security guard that I was supposed to?
Speaker 3: Yeah, toll, it takes is like just swiping it and
Speaker 3: put it in your pocket when you're not looking. And
Speaker 3: I know which one of you fucking did it because
Speaker 3: we have it on camera and I'm coming after you,
Speaker 3: so you better be sweating and shaking in your boot
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Fucking pant you at the grove everywhere. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think there should be more cameras everywhere too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean more public start. I think there should
Speaker 2: be like less privacy.
Speaker 4: Way less privacy, Yeah, way less private.
Speaker 1: I think there should be a mandatory TikTok, what did
Speaker 1: I do in my day for every single citizen?
Speaker 4: So I only steel scared, like I don't know ninety
Speaker 4: percent of the time. Yeah, I want to feel terrified
Speaker 4: all the time. Like as soon as I wake up,
Speaker 4: I want to be like, oh, someone's watching me, and
Speaker 4: then when I go to sleep, I'll be like I
Speaker 4: was watched the whole day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was afraid. That was scary. Behind that was
Speaker 3: actually really scary. You know what's crazy.
Speaker 1: I think I've said this, but like I got into
Speaker 1: a fight with my ex at a restaurant because he
Speaker 1: was like, are you not worried about surveillance?
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, I literally don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: And he was like trying to get me to like
Speaker 1: be like this was in like twenty eighteen, and he
Speaker 1: was like this is going to get like awful, like
Speaker 1: we are like gonna have no privacy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: who gives a fuck?
Speaker 2: And now I'm like, oh my god. He may have
Speaker 2: been right. I hope that caught her screaming. Literally, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I feel like a beatle. I think it might be
Speaker 2: one of the beatles. I'm the one who got shot
Speaker 2: in the back of the head by a fan.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm the one that's pulling the trigger. It'd
Speaker 3: be the ones that are closest to ones, the ones
Speaker 3: that want to see it beat the ones it beat
Speaker 3: the WANs, Trust me, it'd be the ones don't get
Speaker 3: caught up, young blood.
Speaker 4: When I listen to the episodes, I play it two
Speaker 4: x speed and you guys will sing and it sounds good.
Speaker 2: It sounds we listen, we're singing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, and I'll go back and.
Speaker 3: But that sounded good. I kind of hit two notes
Speaker 3: there and I know, yeah, yeah, exactly that double D,
Speaker 3: like big fucking double D sharp. I'm always nipples like
Speaker 3: I can't stop thinking about girl boobies, like I want
Speaker 3: to fucking these motor Boat.
Speaker 2: Yeah you do?
Speaker 3: Love t and bag Box. I love Box. I hope
Speaker 3: should I ruin everybody's life with Roco's Roku's back?
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 3: Don't ask that.
Speaker 2: Question, Okay, don't, I won't.
Speaker 3: Like, Yeah, this is an information warning, like literally, do
Speaker 3: not look into it. You're over and don't read about it.
Speaker 3: I swear to God and I genuinely believe it's a thing.
Speaker 3: But I just did my part.
Speaker 4: I just I just I just did my part.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I served it.
Speaker 2: I served the bass. I served the bass.
Speaker 3: I serve the face. I served the face.
Speaker 2: Are you making that a Kanye song?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I've literally experienced scared straight.
Speaker 1: Like I've talked about how I got caught feeling and
Speaker 1: I got sent off to like eight weeks of psychiatry,
Speaker 1: But I don't think I ever talked about the fact
Speaker 1: that they took me to a juvie and tried to
Speaker 1: scare straight up, like scare straight.
Speaker 3: They did that to me with like the handcuffs behind
Speaker 3: the chair. Yeah, they except that I'm not sure I'm straight.
Speaker 2: No, I wasn't talking about the.
Speaker 3: They need to make a thing, Okay, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 3: They need to make a thing where it's a bunch
Speaker 3: of gay guys, like and you bring like a little
Speaker 3: gay twinkie boy in and you just fucking scare them straight,
Speaker 3: like you're fucking straight.
Speaker 4: Man putting the twink at the top of the ladder.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's spraying him with water for forty five minutes. No,
Speaker 3: but there is this thing that I'm like kind of
Speaker 3: working on where it's like making gay people straight again.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you the first test subject and it's working,
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna teach other people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's totally working based off of the shape of
Speaker 4: your legs, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like it's working. It's working.
Speaker 1: But I literally got taken to a juvie with a
Speaker 1: bunch of other kids who got caught like doing crimes
Speaker 1: when we were young, and they took us through and
Speaker 1: I laughed the whole time because I was like, I
Speaker 1: literally watched this show and.
Speaker 2: Y'all are not about to remake it. And they had
Speaker 2: kids who were like it was so.
Speaker 1: And it was so bunk, like they were trying to
Speaker 1: scare us, but it was just like a bunch of
Speaker 1: little kids who were like obviously like most of them
Speaker 1: were wrongfully there. It's like this kid just needs help,
Speaker 1: like let him go home.
Speaker 3: Like are those shows, Like are the people in prison paid?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: I don't know, I do no, it's.
Speaker 1: Literally like free labor, Like I don't think any of
Speaker 1: them are paid, because I think I looked it up
Speaker 1: because there was that one show where it was like
Speaker 1: a bunch of girls and juvie, and I think it
Speaker 1: was like unclear if they ever even got paid for
Speaker 1: being on the show. They were just on the show
Speaker 1: being documented and like, I think a big like incentive
Speaker 1: for them, Unless I'm wrong, this is like just me
Speaker 1: assuming I'm sure. A big incentive is like, if you're
Speaker 1: a part of this, we will like lessen your time.
Speaker 2: I said, that's a huge job.
Speaker 3: I was thinking, like commissary or.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you, I will give you something in return.
Speaker 1: But they are definitely not paying those kids, which is
Speaker 1: sucking crazy.
Speaker 4: Thank you, seriously, thank you.
Speaker 1: You're like Olivia Wilds where she was like, try that,
Speaker 1: I like you to be president.
Speaker 2: And then she steps out She's like, it did. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Have you seen the video of Jesse j singing on
Speaker 3: the airplane?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, yeah, she does Nicky's verse and she like
Speaker 1: sounds really good.
Speaker 3: Literally one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my.
Speaker 1: So goddamn upset.
Speaker 2: If some bitch stood.
Speaker 1: Up on my plane and started singing, I would tackle her.
Speaker 1: I would literally like, rue day that I'll tackle her.
Speaker 1: And then when they tried to ask me, I'd be like, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I misread the situation.
Speaker 2: I thought you was trying to do something bad.
Speaker 3: You're on your Mark Wahlberg.
Speaker 2: I was trying to make hero. I misread the room.
Speaker 1: My apologies, I will go back to my I love
Speaker 1: the girl getting kicked off the plane. The I g batty,
Speaker 1: I was going to I don't give a stan Yeah
Speaker 1: I never saw that. Wait, guy, It is so good
Speaker 1: also because she's like bad, like she actually is like
Speaker 1: irl looks yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sorry, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I also love her leaving like she's getting kicked off
Speaker 1: of the plane and like leaving coach and on her
Speaker 1: way out, she's like you fucking bombed to somebody who
Speaker 1: was like further ahead on the plane than her, which
Speaker 1: I love because I'm like, girl, read the room.
Speaker 2: Call me a bitch again, Yeah, you did nothing wrong. No,
Speaker 2: you shut the fuck, you shut the You should film me.
Speaker 1: I'm Instagram famous.
Speaker 4: Wow, dude, she looks like you know the meme. It's
Speaker 4: like stepping into twenty sixteen.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, she's like that personified. And I stand by
Speaker 1: her because, like there was a guy in the video
Speaker 1: who she was like, call me a bitch again, call
Speaker 1: me a bit again to a guy, So I'm standing
Speaker 1: by her. I loved the comments. All the comments were
Speaker 1: like the top of one was like she was taking
Speaker 1: that one way.
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck. Annison.
Speaker 1: It was like I stand by women's rights, but more important,
Speaker 1: I stand by their wrongs and like, yeah, were like
Speaker 1: like cheering her on.
Speaker 3: Okay, well we went to the movies the other day.
Speaker 2: I didn't do that.
Speaker 3: Okay, I went to the fucking movies the other day, though,
Speaker 3: Like you weren't there, weird, You literally weren't there, So like, was.
Speaker 2: I actually not here for this?
Speaker 4: It was the movies with you guys?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so.
Speaker 2: I don't think we've ever been to the movies together.
Speaker 3: I have been to the movies with I never even
Speaker 3: hung out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't hang outside of these spaces.
Speaker 3: I but no. We went to the movies to see
Speaker 3: the Takowa TD movie. And when like we stay or
Speaker 3: when we were like walking into the theater, I was like,
Speaker 3: damn dude, like people like so shit is happening again,
Speaker 3: Like movies are fully back, theaters are fully back. And
Speaker 3: it felt like simultaneously like amazing and then also like
Speaker 3: super dark, sighted and weird, and like the energy was
Speaker 3: just like really really off in the theater. And then
Speaker 3: I came to the conclusion afterwards. I was like like
Speaker 3: everyone felt uncomfortable, Like every everyone was like there's so
Speaker 3: many people here, like what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 3: And like pre pandemic, like that was the vibe always
Speaker 3: and it wasn't weird, but like post pandemic, like I
Speaker 3: think a lot of people are like, oh, like I
Speaker 3: want normal life back so bad, Like I want normal
Speaker 3: life back so bad, and then like we get a
Speaker 3: taste of it and we just don't know how to
Speaker 3: fucking act. Like I was like literally so overwhelmed seeing
Speaker 3: that many people and it's literally in my head, Like
Speaker 3: for me at least, it's like it's because like I
Speaker 3: just got so used to seeing nowhere, no one anywhere
Speaker 3: for a very long time. Also, can we just erase
Speaker 3: the pandemic from like our history? Like that shit was
Speaker 3: so embarrassing. I'm sorry, Like, but.
Speaker 1: I miss COVID, not the people dying part, Like no,
Speaker 1: I miss playing Animal Crossing all day and super spreading.
Speaker 2: That was fun. Fly felt like I had a purpose.
Speaker 4: Yeah, super Spreading.
Speaker 3: Remember when like we almost lost our podcast in like
Speaker 3: the first twelve episodes because we like spoke about the
Speaker 3: pandemic and they like.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and they tried to destroy our YouTube account
Speaker 1: because they thought because we were quoting Big Nick and
Speaker 1: how he didn't believe in COVID.
Speaker 2: Does the lighting look crazy on camera?
Speaker 4: Not really. You know what's funny is you can like
Speaker 4: see my shadow, like I look like I'm sitting next
Speaker 4: to you guys, But it's just like a faceless silhouette.
Speaker 2: All right, let's keep going.
Speaker 4: It looks fine though, it kind of looks artistic. Wait,
Speaker 4: I'm loving that it kind of looks artistic.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also, Drew, I love how you say theater theater. That's
Speaker 4: very like, that's like how a thesbian would say it
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 2: Oh, he called you a lesbian.
Speaker 4: No, don't No, I'm fucking not I called you a thesbian.
Speaker 3: Stop saying it. I don't know if you're allowed to
Speaker 3: say that, Kyle, that's not what.
Speaker 1: No, And you're a cinophile huh no, Like why is that?
Speaker 2: Am I audio?
Speaker 3: Don't ever call yourself that you're weird?
Speaker 2: Well, I have to get that out of my bio.
Speaker 4: Then you have cinophile in her.
Speaker 1: Yes. Also I have an exhibitionist in my bio because
Speaker 1: after doing this exhibit, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: exhibitionism is so fun, Like I think I'm going to
Speaker 1: do it all the time. Like I just love doing exhibits.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I think my new career paths is
Speaker 1: a path is exhibition.
Speaker 3: No, No, that's that's not what that means. It means
Speaker 3: like you like being naked in public.
Speaker 4: No, I think I think Drew's right.
Speaker 2: Actually, no, I'm an extra business. Am I saying business?
Speaker 1: You're an ex I'm ex the business you're an exorcist.
Speaker 1: I would get the neural link because I don't like
Speaker 1: typing texts anymore. Like I just like want like my iPhone. Actually,
Speaker 1: I want my iPhone to scan my eyes and see
Speaker 1: into my soul and know what I want to say.
Speaker 2: Like that's what I want. Literally what neuralink, I would
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 1: So I don't have to type text anymore because I
Speaker 1: send a lot of audio messages and I'm just like
Speaker 1: I'm always talking at my phone and then read having
Speaker 1: to read a reply because I'm not good at typing.
Speaker 1: I've realized, like I'm such a lazy texter. All my
Speaker 1: texts have like eighteen million typos, and I refuse to
Speaker 1: fix them anymore.
Speaker 4: It is it's weird, like falling slowly into the singularity.
Speaker 4: So I used to like my dad would use speech
Speaker 4: to text. I'd be like you're an old head, Like
Speaker 4: that's really cringe. And now I'm like constant using because
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I want to interact with my phone
Speaker 4: like way faster. Yeah, and it's slowly just like it's
Speaker 4: slowly just moving its way into my into my brain.
Speaker 3: Dude. It's so scary how much I've been using my
Speaker 3: phone recently. Like I know it's all a joke like
Speaker 3: ruginally a talk but blah blah blah blah blah. But
Speaker 3: like the last like four days, like I have genuinely
Speaker 3: been like in a very dark place with my phone
Speaker 3: where like like I will be literally like don't do this,
Speaker 3: and I'm not saying to do this, and I fucking
Speaker 3: hate that I'm doing this. But I'll be like driving
Speaker 3: and like scrolling TikTok and like watching like or listening
Speaker 3: to TikTok like out of the corner of my eye.
Speaker 3: Like it's like it's literally like actually like a problem,
Speaker 3: like I need to like go back into the woods
Speaker 3: and like, yeah, you keep saying.
Speaker 2: You need a dop mean, oh my god, I'm having
Speaker 2: a stroke.
Speaker 1: You keep saying you need a dopamine detox, And I
Speaker 1: think my time for.
Speaker 3: When it is coming like yeah, like I need to
Speaker 3: take much.
Speaker 1: Access to everything that gives me instant like serotonin, like
Speaker 1: I need like yeah, I need it to be taken away.
Speaker 1: I need to go like camping or something and just
Speaker 1: be in dead signs. But I need to go camping
Speaker 1: for like three months and then come back, uh frail
Speaker 1: and frigid because I ran out of food and I
Speaker 1: almost died, and then I can be on like Allan
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: That's the experience.
Speaker 1: I only want to come back if Jimmy Fallon will
Speaker 1: let me get on and be like I almost died
Speaker 1: in the woods.
Speaker 4: My choice.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, like isn't that what Grimes did?
Speaker 3: Like she ate spaghetti or whatever, and.
Speaker 2: Then she made the best album ever. So maybe if
Speaker 2: we go.
Speaker 3: Away and to come back and we do like the
Speaker 3: best thing we've.
Speaker 2: Evert well, like have the best episode you've ever said.
Speaker 4: You know, it's really good for that is hanging out
Speaker 4: with like relatives.
Speaker 1: Wait, I'm sorry. The woman who just passed gave us
Speaker 1: the dirtiest look.
Speaker 2: I've really like hated.
Speaker 3: Our vibes antipodes like us guys. I just want to say, like,
Speaker 3: like podcasters, we have it really hard and like people
Speaker 3: like look at us with like deranged looks in their eyes,
Speaker 3: and like people like want to see us die or fail,
Speaker 3: and they think we don't have it. They don't think
Speaker 3: we have it harder than the rest of the people.
Speaker 3: Like no, no, no, my life is hard.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: You can't understand.
Speaker 1: My dad will call me and be like, dude, I'm fifty.
Speaker 1: I like just worked on a roof for eight hours.
Speaker 1: I have sunburn, like my skin is falling off.
Speaker 2: I'm so tired. I'm so exhausted, and I have to
Speaker 2: wake up at six am to do it again.
Speaker 3: To mind, I'm like, imagine how tired we I had
Speaker 3: to record enough.
Speaker 4: To talk for a hour, Like I'm tired.
Speaker 1: You don't know that, Like why are you even calling me?
Speaker 1: Because I just had to like.
Speaker 4: To go through that.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: And my mom will be like, I'm my god, this
Speaker 1: job isn't paying well anymore, like I don't think we
Speaker 1: can make it, Like do you have any money? I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, no, absolutely not, Like work for your
Speaker 1: fucking money.
Speaker 2: Why am I gonna give you money? Like I'm done,
Speaker 2: I'm cutting my fucking family off, Like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying anymore, they're becoming dependent on me,
Speaker 1: and it's like.
Speaker 2: Insane, Get a job, Get a job. I'm fucking kidding.
Speaker 1: The idea of my parents hearing that and like getting upset,
Speaker 1: like thinking I'm being real freaks me out.
Speaker 2: Somebody actually recently was like, do you listen to the podcasts?
Speaker 1: And I thought I recorded my dad, but I asked him,
Speaker 1: I like, have it deep in my recordings because I
Speaker 1: record my family when I'm talking to them all the
Speaker 1: time without their consent.
Speaker 2: So if anybody ever.
Speaker 1: Finds me and I have multiple, multiple conversations with my
Speaker 1: family that they have no idea that I'm just like
Speaker 1: asking them questions to record for my own keeping because
Speaker 1: I'm terrified of losing the people I love.
Speaker 2: But I asked my dad one day and I was like,
Speaker 2: do you listen to the podcasts?
Speaker 1: And he was like, one time I tried, and like,
Speaker 1: you guys say stuff that I just think as a parent,
Speaker 1: I don't need to hear.
Speaker 2: And he was like, and I think you're very.
Speaker 1: Funny, but like, I think you say a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff I don't need to hear, And I'm like.
Speaker 3: You're boner mes. My balls smell good.
Speaker 1: I'm high as fuck, Like, I don't think my dad
Speaker 1: wants to hear that, So, yeah, that's your answer.
Speaker 2: I don't think my dad listens.
Speaker 4: Just looked at me dead in the eyes and gave
Speaker 4: me a crazy look, and I got bricked up.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know you got nerves.
Speaker 2: You give me the look.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, okay, I've given it to you before.
Speaker 3: Then every single person that walks by is like, literally
Speaker 3: hates us.
Speaker 1: I know they don't like our bob, and especially because
Speaker 1: the sun is falling.
Speaker 2: On me and I'm becoming more and more and beautiful
Speaker 2: by the second.
Speaker 4: You are glowing low key period. Okay, it is in
Speaker 4: a dark shroud of shadows.
Speaker 3: Though, yes, always. Oh my leg is like numb right now,
Speaker 3: Hannah Montana is goat, why did you say that? I
Speaker 3: was reading my note? Miley stand came out.
Speaker 2: You know what it is too. I know exactly where
Speaker 2: your brain goes when you write out notes because.
Speaker 1: I do the same thing, Like I'll ride out like
Speaker 1: a small thing because in my head, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to write out the whole joke, Like I
Speaker 1: know the jokes I'm gonna make based on this thought
Speaker 1: I'm having and I don't want to write them out
Speaker 1: because I don't want to feel forced to say the
Speaker 1: joke and read it out because usually it doesn't land
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: But then I just have notes that it's like ubers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jobber, yes, Ubersper, you better fuck meat.
Speaker 3: But I think I was saying because we watched like dude, me,
Speaker 3: Josh and Josiah had like boys night and we watched
Speaker 3: the Hannah Montana movies and like literally like here's the
Speaker 3: Clubs and that one. That movie is good as fuck. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Like it's actually like a good fucking movie Clanet yeah
Speaker 3: at the very end, and I don't want to fucking
Speaker 3: hear it. But I think, like what I meant by
Speaker 3: that note is that, like I actually literally don't know
Speaker 3: what I meant by it, Like Hannah Montana is goat
Speaker 3: my Miley st Ditarus stand came out.
Speaker 2: I think you just meant you'd liked the movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I was, Oh, I was going to reference
Speaker 3: like me posting those pictures like in twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
Speaker 3: like those edits that fans made of me, like with
Speaker 3: Miley Cyrus kissing my cheek, meaning like oh like Miley,
Speaker 3: like I love her so much. And then I made
Speaker 3: like literally one of the funniest jokes I think I've
Speaker 3: ever made when I was like thirteen years old. And
Speaker 3: it's like Miley Cyrus like in her Banger's era with
Speaker 3: like fur arms and they look like bear arms. And
Speaker 3: I said, Miley Cyrus like supporting the Second Amendment, and
Speaker 3: it's like the right to bear arms.
Speaker 2: That's cleol and your best joking.
Speaker 3: That's my magnum opas I genuinely still think about it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, damn, like I need to tap into that
Speaker 3: place instead of making fucking piss and squirt jokes. Well,
Speaker 3: piss is squirt.
Speaker 4: Piss is square.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I look, he'd be in sleep talking.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 1: This episode was starting to feel like the Ti kids
Speaker 1: were like when you wear at the Dead People clothes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, Well I have been sleep talking like
Speaker 3: for some reason. And Josiah sleeps in my bed when
Speaker 3: there's like open beds or couch or air mattress, and
Speaker 3: he sleeps next to me. But it's nice, like I
Speaker 3: like having a warm body next to me at night.
Speaker 2: And like you haven't slept with me in a long time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you won't fucking let me because you need.
Speaker 2: To shower before you get in my bed.
Speaker 3: Oh now it's that no no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: Well, when we were having sex, the rules were different
Speaker 1: because if it's someone i'm having.
Speaker 2: Sex with, I don't give a fuck. Wear those clothes, band,
Speaker 2: get on my bed. That makes sense to me, get
Speaker 2: in my bed.
Speaker 1: But if I'm not having sex with you anymore, you
Speaker 1: need to shower because now you're dirty.
Speaker 4: Do you record it? You're sleep talking or not? Not
Speaker 4: you guys having.
Speaker 2: Sex, but the sleep talking? Do you have one of
Speaker 2: those apps?
Speaker 3: I just don't want to talk about it anymore.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, open up, like, yeah, be you.
Speaker 3: You don't I'm allowed to beat me.
Speaker 4: You don't want to open up right now?
Speaker 3: I just can't be me? Wait oh oh yeah. I
Speaker 3: like Josiah was like in the other room entirely, and
Speaker 3: I was like laying in bed and I had just
Speaker 3: like closed my eyes. I didn't mean to fall asleep.
Speaker 3: I just like accidentally fell asleep, and like I like
Speaker 3: could hear myself talking, like but like I wasn't cognitive
Speaker 3: of what I was fucking saying. But like I was
Speaker 3: talking to Josiah about basketball, and Josiah has no idea
Speaker 3: and like I was also Josiah like sleep talking, and
Speaker 3: Josiah kept saying, like what what? And he came in
Speaker 3: and he woke me up and he was like what
Speaker 3: were you saying? And I was like I don't know,
Speaker 3: like what was I saying? He was like, you were
Speaker 3: talking about basketball or something. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: Like I was.
Speaker 1: Literally, you're talking about basketball in your sleep? Is such
Speaker 1: a crazy VI.
Speaker 3: And I scrolled TikTok in my dream. I was. I
Speaker 3: was scrolling on TikTok in my dream like a week ago.
Speaker 3: It was crazy. It was fucked up.
Speaker 2: Was it videos you've already seen or was your brain
Speaker 2: making new TikTok?
Speaker 3: It was making new tiktoks. It was like big fucking
Speaker 3: oiled up like BBL baddies, like just fucking shaking their poop.
Speaker 2: Then other basketball highlights.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they were just like spraying shit all over
Speaker 3: the fucking camera and like all Duncan turns into the toilet.
Speaker 4: Have you ever been like half asleep and you let
Speaker 4: out a moan, No, like a really like earnest moan.
Speaker 3: That's a death rattle, Kai, I'm serious, Have.
Speaker 4: You ever done that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, but I've woken myself up to snoring, like I've
Speaker 1: like fallen asleep and like been like.
Speaker 3: Dude, Anya is like a snore or like you are,
Speaker 3: Like she sounds just like my dad, Like she is
Speaker 3: so loud, Like it's crazy, but it is comforting to
Speaker 3: sleep next to her because it sounds like my dad's snoring,
Speaker 3: and it's like, oh, like I used to. Literally, when
Speaker 3: I first moved to La, I could not go to
Speaker 3: sleep like as fast as I used to because, like
Speaker 3: it was too quiet because my dad wasn't like snoring
Speaker 3: in the house.
Speaker 1: And then you would come to my room and crack
Speaker 1: my door open so you can hear my snore.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so sweet.
Speaker 1: Need I wish we could find the video from when
Speaker 1: we went to Hawaii and my how loud my snore
Speaker 1: was that night, putting their whole body weight on a
Speaker 1: door with creaky hinges and swinging.
Speaker 2: Back and forth.
Speaker 3: Soggy bottom, yeah, my soggy bottom.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I snore like an old man. And honestly, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say about it. It's like
Speaker 1: so embarrassing, so I'm just like shy about it, like
Speaker 1: I'm really nervous.
Speaker 3: Wait, hold on, I'm gonna get this on video. Hello, Hey, hey, no, no,
Speaker 3: I'm not. We finally got the fillip on camera.
Speaker 2: She said Ophelia.
Speaker 3: She said, hi Philip.
Speaker 2: I thought she said. I thought she said Ophelia.
Speaker 3: She called me Daniel. I was like with my buddy,
Speaker 3: and I was like, dude, she calls me Philip. It's
Speaker 3: so lit and she answered it and she said hi Daniel.
Speaker 3: And she had literally never called me about once in
Speaker 3: my life and she hasn't called me that since. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't know where why.
Speaker 1: She used to call me all the time of the
Speaker 1: night over the torch to Drew, and now she only
Speaker 1: calls Drew. She calls me when it's like Drew is
Speaker 1: not answering, and then I just like forward her calls
Speaker 1: and then she text me She's like, where is Philip?
Speaker 3: No? I literally love her like I love her so much.
Speaker 1: Yea, our landlord is such a cutie. Remember how much
Speaker 1: cunt she was serving when we signed like.
Speaker 3: She was excited.
Speaker 1: She was like literally she came with a full beat
Speaker 1: and we were like, whoa should we get into some
Speaker 1: media of the week.
Speaker 3: Eek eek. I'm gonna like discover low Anthony. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: rEFInd him and have him record that for us like
Speaker 3: emergency in or com media of the Loie.
Speaker 2: Do you think he would do it? I think he
Speaker 2: would do it.
Speaker 3: No. Really, he wants nothing to do with the internet,
Speaker 3: like there are random pictures that will come out of
Speaker 3: him and he is literally a straight man now, like
Speaker 3: it is jarring.
Speaker 1: I feel like, hey, money talks, you can figure it out,
Speaker 1: all right. My media of the week is the Pink
Speaker 1: Panthers album. I think it's really fun to listen to
Speaker 1: Box the forty by Caribou, Candy by Tokisha I don't
Speaker 1: know how to say her name. Sorry, so me put
Speaker 1: me in jail, throw away the key and lock me
Speaker 1: in there with someone sexy because I'll have fun.
Speaker 2: Outside all night by Brent Baiez, and.
Speaker 1: Lullaby by The Cure Till I Died the Beach Boys
Speaker 1: and Heart and Bones Paul Simon, which I think I
Speaker 1: said last week. And then for watching media, I don't
Speaker 1: have anything.
Speaker 2: We watched Next School. We watched Next gol Wins and
Speaker 2: that was like a cute movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really sweet. Taka with tit is like
Speaker 3: just good.
Speaker 2: I need him.
Speaker 3: The first like five minutes of that movie, I was horrified.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, this is gonna be horrible, but
Speaker 3: then it was just so cute, funny and wholesome. Like
Speaker 3: there were like a bunch of moments where I was
Speaker 3: like literally on the verge of tears because like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, I love the girl in it so much.
Speaker 3: But my media is Scavenger's Reign. It's like this HBO
Speaker 3: like animated show that like, if I was to make
Speaker 3: an animated show, that's what it would look and feel like,
Speaker 3: like super foreign alien planets with like just like codex
Speaker 3: seraphineous level of like creativity in their creatures and creepies
Speaker 3: and Crawley's and shit. I watched Wally and that was great,
Speaker 3: certified classic. Ah.
Speaker 1: We watched Cheetah Girls too, and that was really good.
Speaker 3: Yeah. You know what's crazy is capitalism's greatest and most
Speaker 3: desired hit is to commodify the female body. It's true,
Speaker 3: like look at look at like Wally, like making these
Speaker 3: like female autonomous beings or like ex Machina, Why are
Speaker 3: every fucking personal assistance female like series. I'm just saying, oh,
Speaker 3: I respect respect. Yeah, No, that there's levels of this ship.
Speaker 3: Like I'm spinning facts right.
Speaker 4: Now, and you can like female voice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but next I watched like, okay, so Apple TV
Speaker 3: has low key been on a generational run and no
Speaker 3: one is paying attention, like they're making like really really good,
Speaker 3: shitty TV. I don't know if that makes sense to
Speaker 3: anybody about myself, but like Silo is like this, it's
Speaker 3: basically Fallout the TV show, but it has nothing to
Speaker 3: do with Fallout, and it's these people like living in
Speaker 3: a silo and it's just like a dramatic thriller, like
Speaker 3: what the fuck is going on? Mystery, like what's going on?
Speaker 3: It's literally I can't believe. It's like literally question everything,
Speaker 3: like what the fuck, like like what if we are
Speaker 3: in a silo?
Speaker 1: They're so into that shit because they also had the
Speaker 1: other one with that one guy.
Speaker 3: They're so sci fi coded.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're so like dude, the first episode is really hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then I didn't finish it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I watched two episodes. I was like, that show
Speaker 2: was amazing. I will not be finishing it.
Speaker 4: I think episode three, I was like, Okay, liminal spaces.
Speaker 3: Are cool, Yeah, exactly, we got it. YouTube, Yeah, I
Speaker 3: want to wind YouTube videos and tiktoks tim talks. If
Speaker 3: people just freaking If my name was Tim and I
Speaker 3: wanted to be a social media influencer, I would make
Speaker 3: my account name Tim Talks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh Tim talks, like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's Tim t Okay, Tim talks.
Speaker 1: I feel like Tim talks like t A l k
Speaker 1: S would be more of a no t I m
Speaker 1: it still reads his Tim Talks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but so does Tim Talks.
Speaker 4: That's good.
Speaker 3: I'm right better.
Speaker 4: Yours is always better, guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks, fuck you. Just because she's a woman doesn't
Speaker 3: mean you have to pay.
Speaker 2: Are you going to do no?
Speaker 3: I was about to say, I don't have any Yeah,
Speaker 3: there's none, just like the world. The world isn't giving
Speaker 3: me like the material that I need to hold. And
Speaker 3: I'll scroll through my TikTok and see if there's anything.
Speaker 3: Do not open your phone around me, because I will
Speaker 3: be staring at your screen literally me with you. Barbie
Speaker 3: posted those I know.
Speaker 1: I was like, dude, this is literally me Like, I'm
Speaker 1: like a moth to a flame if somebody has their
Speaker 1: iPhone open around me and I can't stand a privacy screen, bitch,
Speaker 1: why do you even have your iPhone outside? If you
Speaker 1: have a privacy screen like that is meant for the
Speaker 1: people you're supposed to be sharing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no gonna lie. And you used to like literally
Speaker 3: yell at me when we like first started living together
Speaker 3: because I was just I would just look at her phone.
Speaker 3: And now I'm like literally traumatized by it. And I
Speaker 3: like when people are like even scrolling through their photos,
Speaker 3: I'll just like look away because I'm like, I don't
Speaker 3: want them to have like a nude in there or something.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and ya like literally abused me with words
Speaker 3: about looking at her phone.
Speaker 2: Well, I was born real, so I never had to
Speaker 2: be real.
Speaker 1: That's me about having the app, because I never had
Speaker 1: to get like you bitches.
Speaker 2: I was just born like that.
Speaker 3: Effects take more face picks, ladies. You also bitch where
Speaker 3: he's gonna be full of ass.
Speaker 2: I think you said that one already, So you're done.
Speaker 3: iPad, I'm Filipino and dope. White girl, Save me, white girl,
Speaker 3: White girl, save me, Save me, white girl. I'm glad
Speaker 3: cars were invented. Imagine walking your horse up. Oh wait,
Speaker 3: I'm glad cars were invented. Imagine waking your horse up
Speaker 3: at three am to go get pussy.
Speaker 2: That's a really good one.
Speaker 3: I want to do one more.
Speaker 2: Get up I'm horny.
Speaker 1: Get up shaking your horse, horny, I'm so horny.
Speaker 3: Imagine your card declines at the abortion clinic and the
Speaker 3: doctor starts nutting in you. I didn't say that, y'all.
Speaker 3: I'm just quoting someone.
Speaker 2: I'm just relaying the facts.
Speaker 3: What are y'all gonna get y'all's siblings and parents for Christmas?
Speaker 3: Leave a comment down below because I'm having trouble. Okay,
Speaker 3: that wasn't a Drew style, by the way, I know
Speaker 3: that's just.
Speaker 2: You being real.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you need to be real. I'm so bad at
Speaker 3: buying people gifts. It's fucked up. Hold on, guys, Sorry, sorry,
Speaker 3: I know we want to finish, but I gotta get
Speaker 3: a good one in. I bet there's someone who follows
Speaker 3: me and just fucking despises me, who just fucking hates
Speaker 3: me so much, and his hate following so hard. They
Speaker 3: don't even like anything about me, they just keep following.
Speaker 1: Okay, if somebody doesn't like us and they listen this
Speaker 1: far into the episode, you need help. And that's coming
Speaker 1: from a certified hate watcher.
Speaker 2: I love a good hate watch. You need help, even
Speaker 2: if it's on double speed. You need help. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: need help.
Speaker 4: I'm being subscribed to the Patreon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, something be done. It's going too far.
Speaker 3: Transgender Christmas tree pronoun pudding, non binary, New Year, gay
Speaker 3: gift wrapping, eating disorder, Eggnow, Santa Serve and Sleigh renegade Reindeers.
Speaker 3: The alt left has ruined our Christmas traditions. The Devil
Speaker 3: is alive and well, and I'll leave it.
Speaker 2: There were beautiful, heavy