Speaker 1: All right, So this is Tim Dillon. It's always unintentionally
Speaker 1: like a cold open because I just want to talk
Speaker 1: to you. So I don't know, do you think my audience?
Speaker 1: What percentage of my audience, which is mostly women, presumably know.
Speaker 2: Who you are? You no clue? Love of small tinies?
Speaker 2: Do you think maybe more? Well?
Speaker 1: When I've posted about your feel like, have you been
Speaker 1: surprised that some people have been like, wow, I love him?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Some of the yes, some of them do. I'm
Speaker 2: very bad with knowing percentages of any all literal data.
Speaker 1: But what do you think like.
Speaker 2: Women?
Speaker 1: Do women listen to a lot of women listen to
Speaker 1: your show more now?
Speaker 2: But we have more men than women. Were on YouTube
Speaker 2: and were on everywhere, but YouTube is primarily a male audience.
Speaker 2: I come from the Joe Rogan universe that appeals to men.
Speaker 2: So it's a lot of dudes, comedy fans, a lot
Speaker 2: of guys.
Speaker 1: But why am I like always friends with and attracted
Speaker 1: to comedians like my whole entire life even used to
Speaker 1: go to the comedy cellar Alan haviy I.
Speaker 2: Think we're all damaged people, and I think we're we're
Speaker 2: united in that, and we've overcome that to a degree,
Speaker 2: and I think you like that. I think that's part
Speaker 2: of your attract You're also very funny. You've used humor
Speaker 2: in your own life too, I think kind of heal
Speaker 2: some of the trauma. Yes, I think you recognize that
Speaker 2: with maybe comedians.
Speaker 1: That's again it's like a kindred spirit because also like
Speaker 1: I was shocked I told you I did stand up
Speaker 1: on time? Or no, did I ever tell you that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, well tell me how on f well? I actually
Speaker 1: if I were to, like if there were like a
Speaker 1: teacher giving me a grade on how I did, and
Speaker 1: first of all, I want you to then tell me
Speaker 1: the circumstances I was in and if I deserve a
Speaker 1: better grade. But if, like all things being equal, the
Speaker 1: stand up that I did, I think I got like
Speaker 1: an eighty two percent, Like that is a regular like
Speaker 1: like no, it's like Jerry Seinfelt getting an A plus
Speaker 1: than me being like maybe a seventy five eighty like
Speaker 1: eighty I did find like I did not make it
Speaker 1: a fool of myself.
Speaker 2: People laughed. It was great, I was was it? It
Speaker 2: was at New York Comedy Club.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been there?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 1: Okay, is it a good one? Is it okay? So
Speaker 1: what happened was I wanted to do this because someone
Speaker 1: I wanted to do like an NFT, something that like
Speaker 1: no one could get anywhere else. And I had never
Speaker 1: done stand up and I always wanted to. So I
Speaker 1: gave myself ten days. That was they said that they
Speaker 1: had an opening in ten days. The club was opening
Speaker 1: for the first time during the pandemic. I didn't think
Speaker 1: about any of this. So the first time this club
Speaker 1: was opening during the pandemic was this date. So I
Speaker 1: go in there and I didn't think about this either.
Speaker 1: The audience was wearing masks six feet apart. Crazy, So
Speaker 1: that's the next So what kind of a curve do
Speaker 1: I get to be graded on that? That was the
Speaker 1: case because I didn't even think of it. I just
Speaker 1: got on a stage I could barely see. I stood
Speaker 1: up and I didn't even think of like that that
Speaker 1: would be the audience. Is that much less funny? You
Speaker 1: were doing stand up in the pandemic? Does that make
Speaker 1: it less funny when people were wearing masks?
Speaker 2: It's not ideal. When people are wearing masks, you cannot
Speaker 2: see their facial expressions. You can't the laughter is muffled.
Speaker 2: It's the worst.
Speaker 1: And for them too, they're probably not as free, right
Speaker 1: because you're not drinking as much.
Speaker 2: You'reing a mask. They're living through a horror movie.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I get, I get a couple of I
Speaker 1: get five.
Speaker 2: More points, I think, so I think that's fair to
Speaker 2: sun It.
Speaker 1: Okay, So first of all, I just want to say.
Speaker 2: That what I did is you're funny all the time.
Speaker 2: You could be funny on your phone, You could be funny.
Speaker 1: Right, So it did not well, I want to before
Speaker 1: I answered that, I want to tell you that I
Speaker 1: was shocked by the comedians that responded to me asking
Speaker 1: for advice. Now, what I thought was, I look like
Speaker 1: this loser, like the person who gets on the mountain
Speaker 1: the first day and is wearing like white furry pants
Speaker 1: and has the whole altphab, doesn't have to fucking ski,
Speaker 1: and you like, get her the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1: I felt like by texting and I'm name dropping now
Speaker 1: into generous Chris Rock, Kevin Neil, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: have you heard of any of these people? You know,
Speaker 1: Whitney Cummings, maybe Amy Schumer, I don't remember Kathy Griffin.
Speaker 1: Like I just Michael Rapper. I blanketed the story.
Speaker 2: I didn't know you.
Speaker 1: I blanketed the surface, and I was like, let me
Speaker 1: just lob, do you have any advice I'm doing this,
Speaker 1: which I find annoying to begin with, like who does
Speaker 1: this fucking want to think she's just gonna walk in?
Speaker 1: And like okay, every single person responded responded with like
Speaker 1: actual real advice. Chris Rocks was the longest, Like it
Speaker 1: was like it was like a couple of paragraphs. I
Speaker 1: was so I was so moved by that alone, just
Speaker 1: that like people would take the time to be supportive
Speaker 1: and open and it's a fucked up, crazy group of people.
Speaker 1: Comedians like really fucked you know, yeah, but.
Speaker 2: I think most comedians would definitely help somebody who wanted
Speaker 2: help or want Comedians also like to hear themselves talk
Speaker 2: and text, but.
Speaker 1: These are major comedians who wasn't Like I asked people
Speaker 1: just anyway. So I was just had such a respect
Speaker 1: for the craft, if you're gonna call it the genre whatever,
Speaker 1: the art for that alone, like that was like I
Speaker 1: like these people, Like I just was like I get
Speaker 1: you know, so that let's just put that to the side.
Speaker 1: And I am a crowdsource sort of information, like you
Speaker 1: we talk about this, So I listened to every person's
Speaker 1: advice and made my own recipe, like I did not
Speaker 1: know until uh, Kevin Neilan told me, like, there's each
Speaker 1: person has their own style. Obviously we know that scene,
Speaker 1: but I didn't think about it to myself, like what
Speaker 1: is my style? Then Kim Whitley was like, no, you
Speaker 1: like to be fucking aggravated and rant about shit. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay, because Kevin's like I do more
Speaker 1: long drawn out stories other people from the Borsch Belt,
Speaker 1: you know, but I'm bump. But I never thought about that.
Speaker 1: So I thought that was really interesting. And because I'm
Speaker 1: such like an organized person, the way I approached it
Speaker 1: was as Chris Rock said, they have a good beginning
Speaker 1: and an ending. The middle is just a flow. So
Speaker 1: I thought, okay, So I had some bullet points, and
Speaker 1: I don't like ever reading anything. It's just not my
Speaker 1: personality anywhere. So I just flowed. And I liked it
Speaker 1: because I felt safe in that if there's some organization
Speaker 1: to it, you could do Okay, you're not going to
Speaker 1: bomb if there's some For me, it felt like that,
Speaker 1: like how bad could it be? Like I'm terrible, I know,
Speaker 1: but I have had experienced that on the first day, because.
Speaker 2: Well, I think you have a personality you you didn't
Speaker 2: freeze up. You've been on TV a bunch people. There
Speaker 2: are people that I think have a reaction to being
Speaker 2: up there. Oh really, Oh yeah, just like public speaking.
Speaker 2: People are more afraid of it than death.
Speaker 1: But you think any celebrity that's used to being on
Speaker 1: talk shows, et cetera is going to be fine up there.
Speaker 2: Not any celebrity. But there are people who possess a
Speaker 2: I mean sociopathic to a degree level of confidence, and
Speaker 2: those people usually do okay when they're in front of
Speaker 2: a bunch of people. Now, because I think that a
Speaker 2: lot of it is like if the audience smells fear.
Speaker 1: Desperation or like being I don't like even in a
Speaker 1: school play for kids, like wait, let me start up,
Speaker 1: Like don't they don't need to be part of have
Speaker 1: the sausage is getting made in your own head, just
Speaker 1: commit to it. Fuck, I don't like that stuff.
Speaker 2: I'd walk out of a school play if they started.
Speaker 1: Over right, I'd be discussed or even even to.
Speaker 2: Actually the money you paid to send these kids, just
Speaker 2: like I would go.
Speaker 1: Not so when you are well, so to answer your question,
Speaker 1: I want to when you fuck up to answer your question.
Speaker 1: I didn't get fed by being laughed at. In that space,
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to know anything that I've ever
Speaker 1: thought about doing that I haven't tried. I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're such a fucking pussy. So I
Speaker 1: wanted to, Like everyone thinks they can do it. Everyone's
Speaker 1: like when I said I was going to do it,
Speaker 1: so many people, oh, I'd be great at that. Really,
Speaker 1: even get your fucking ass up there. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: got my fucking ass up there. I did it, but
Speaker 1: I didn't get fed by it, meaning like, oh they laughed,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I told and I didn't bomb, so
Speaker 1: I need to do it again, Like I I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I just I checked the box and get things.
Speaker 1: And also I feel fraudulent. I'm not staying in the
Speaker 1: shitty HO tells and I just don't think it's something
Speaker 1: I don't have to do that.
Speaker 2: But I fuck up sometimes when I think when I
Speaker 2: don't lay out a premise appropriately and think that everyone's
Speaker 2: on board already, you're in your head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well give me an example. That's insane like look,
Speaker 1: or something about politics, or you think everyone knows like
Speaker 1: so intimately.
Speaker 2: Yes, if I do a joke about the Ukraine and
Speaker 2: I think people are well versed in a topic and
Speaker 2: I'm trying to make a joke about something, or if
Speaker 2: I you know, if I get on stage and I
Speaker 2: say it's really important we support Ditty right now, which
Speaker 2: I think is just so funny. But a lot of
Speaker 2: people don't have a sense of humor, so even in
Speaker 2: a comedy club, they don't have it, so they don't understand.
Speaker 2: Like a woman said the other day, she went no,
Speaker 2: and I want, oh, like, but that's how people that's.
Speaker 1: Kind of have a baseline. You don't know where you are.
Speaker 2: You don't know where you are. So I'm like, how
Speaker 2: bad is it? Because if my fans are there, we're
Speaker 2: all on board. They love it. If I go we
Speaker 2: got to support Diddy, they get it's a comedy show.
Speaker 2: So when I go, we got a support Diddy right now?
Speaker 2: I said it was easy to be a Diddy fan
Speaker 2: a few months ago, but now it's difficult. Now is
Speaker 2: when we will And then a woman in the crowd
Speaker 2: shows no, and I go, oh, So we're as bad
Speaker 2: as we can be like, if we're on a date,
Speaker 2: this is as bad as you say that.
Speaker 1: Do you have that monologue you have that say that
Speaker 1: out loud?
Speaker 2: Yes, we're I immediately have to kind of regroup, and
Speaker 2: then because then I realized, I'm like, Okay, for whatever reason,
Speaker 2: maybe it's my fault. I can't blame them. Yes, maybe
Speaker 2: it is their fault sometimes, but I have they can't
Speaker 2: fix it, so it does nothing to blame them. So
Speaker 2: if the set's not going well, I have to turn
Speaker 2: around and I have to fix it by being funnier
Speaker 2: about the thing that isn't working, committed to it, and
Speaker 2: find the part of it that's the most has the
Speaker 2: most broad appeal where everyone will go, oh, we get it.
Speaker 2: Because I think, like, context is the problem. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: the problem. On the internet. People try to be funny
Speaker 2: online and sometimes it's ripped from context in a comedy club.
Speaker 2: This whole PC thing or the woke thing, it never
Speaker 2: happened in a comedy club because there's context and we're human.
Speaker 1: No, just like it doesn't happen if you're watching a
Speaker 1: movie somebody lets to smoke a cigarette to do cocaine.
Speaker 2: It's only when everything's ripped from context, and it's on
Speaker 2: the Internet and somebody reads something and goes, is this funny?
Speaker 2: Are they being serious? Are they being a troll? Are
Speaker 2: they aggravating me? And they're unable to process intent. So
Speaker 2: intention becomes important, and I think in a comedy club,
Speaker 2: I have to lay bare my intentions that this is
Speaker 2: a joke. We're not supporting giddy. Don't worry a woman
Speaker 2: in the third row. It's funny, but the reason it's
Speaker 2: funny is because it's ridiculous, and because it's silly. And
Speaker 2: then we're going to try to explore a part of it,
Speaker 2: like an angle of it. That's fine. I always try
Speaker 2: to find the funny angle. Like on my podcast, I
Speaker 2: go I don't go to what the right angle is
Speaker 2: or what the wrong angle is. I go what the
Speaker 2: funny angle is. So there was a guy who killed
Speaker 2: himself in because.
Speaker 1: Who was Someone said, humor is its own excuse, like
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 2: Humor wins always was a guy who killed himself in
Speaker 2: the Hampton very sad because he was in some scam okay,
Speaker 2: and then so.
Speaker 1: Husband or whatever.
Speaker 2: Half the people commenting were saying, how terrible, what a tragedy, understandable,
Speaker 2: not a comedian's take, but totally get it. The other
Speaker 2: people that were commenting were mad at him for being
Speaker 2: a dishonest financial criminal it. I was mad at him
Speaker 2: for quitting on the scam. You keep going, you don't stop.
Speaker 2: This is not what the Hampton stopping. Keep going. There's
Speaker 2: people that were with Epstein. There's still dancing against the
Speaker 2: Central pay right now because they keep going. But what
Speaker 2: do you mean in the Black Book, I didn't even
Speaker 2: know I needed a plane. You keep going. The comedians
Speaker 2: take to me isn't the right take. It's not always
Speaker 2: a compassionate take. It's the funny take. So the funny
Speaker 2: take to me was I am mad at you not
Speaker 2: for what you did, not for how you lived, but
Speaker 2: for giving up. That's the funny take for me. And
Speaker 2: that's what makes my podcast fun for me is to
Speaker 2: try to find those takes. Everyone goes. Should Trump have
Speaker 2: been at McDonald's, Caamala's, Guy, Doug Emma. These are, and
Speaker 2: I speak from experience, poison factories that are killing America.
Speaker 2: Politicians should be trying to shut them down. They should
Speaker 2: not be at them. They should not be a waterburger,
Speaker 2: they should not be anyway. They should be trying to
Speaker 2: stop the poison sludge in waterburger from going into human
Speaker 2: beings instead.
Speaker 1: That's so good.
Speaker 2: So that's my angle on it is like not should
Speaker 2: they have done it? Or are they LARPing? It's poor
Speaker 2: people or whatever. It's like, this is going to the
Speaker 2: Marlborough factory lighting up. This is going to a crackhouse
Speaker 2: smoking crack. So that to me is the funny angle
Speaker 2: because I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, different angle. You love a different angle, too different,
Speaker 1: You like a different angleferent All right, So how like
Speaker 1: you know, you watch Chappelle and you watch him like
Speaker 1: and you're like on a roller coaster. Sometimes you're like,
Speaker 1: holy fucking shit, he just said it. And he's going
Speaker 1: with and he's leaning all the way and he's massaging
Speaker 1: and he's needing the dell. So do you ever get
Speaker 1: caught in the impact zone and you're like, how the
Speaker 1: fuck am I getting at it? Like I'm in the
Speaker 1: impact zone? Do I keep flying? Do I keep swimming
Speaker 1: to Florida? Or I go back to Cuba?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think all the time you say to yourself,
Speaker 2: where am i and where is it going? It's Cuba
Speaker 2: and Florida?
Speaker 1: Where am I? Am I almost there? Or I gotta
Speaker 1: go back.
Speaker 2: And there are times when I'll be on stage and
Speaker 2: I'll go, okay, just move on, because I don't have
Speaker 2: the answer to your a vertigo. In the moment, you
Speaker 2: don't know which way you're For the most part, I
Speaker 2: have thankfully developed enough skills to navigate around it and
Speaker 2: get to Cuba.
Speaker 1: Do you love doing the stand up itself?
Speaker 2: I love it?
Speaker 1: Tell me why.
Speaker 2: It's visceral, it's in your face, it's anything can happen.
Speaker 2: There is no script. I mean, obviously you have jokes,
Speaker 2: but every audience is different. Every single situation you're in
Speaker 2: is different. You could play the same comedy club a
Speaker 2: hundred times, you'll never get to say. It's like never.
Speaker 2: So it's why people like flying, probably because it's just
Speaker 2: you're up there and you're like, there's weather patterns, but
Speaker 2: they're different, they're similar, but there you always got to
Speaker 2: pay attention. You can't. You can never when you're flying
Speaker 2: and playing gup.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're never more alive in present.
Speaker 2: Right, You're alive, You're present, you cannot be You're not
Speaker 2: checked out.
Speaker 1: Fascinating that I've never really thought about that, But to me,
Speaker 1: that's the interesting thing. Are things that people are obsessed
Speaker 1: with because they're never more like, you cannot really you
Speaker 1: can't really be on a snowboard or on a surfboard
Speaker 1: and not be totally present, and in this day and age,
Speaker 1: it's impossible. But doing stand up you cannot.
Speaker 2: You're not on your phone. You can even be in
Speaker 2: your brain here or you can't be in your head.
Speaker 2: You have to be plugged into what you're doing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and there's very few things that my podcast is like acts.
Speaker 2: I don't have gas, so I just do an hour
Speaker 2: and I don't look at my phone, and I just
Speaker 2: look at articles and I talk. But as you get older,
Speaker 2: you realize because of the world we live, and it's
Speaker 2: harder and harder to clear your mind, and stand up
Speaker 2: doesn't in that case.
Speaker 1: That's why I do love That's why I probably would
Speaker 1: love stand up. But there is a structure to it
Speaker 1: that I am a very unstructured person. My life is
Speaker 1: very structured. But so let's say I go. You could
Speaker 1: tell me right now again on stage for two hours
Speaker 1: to do a speaking engagement, and I could do it
Speaker 1: for two hours and it would be funny. But I
Speaker 1: might be but I make peop laugh the whole time.
Speaker 1: But I would be talking about I might be talking
Speaker 1: about real estate. I might be talking about pilanthropy, I
Speaker 1: could be talking about food, I could be talking about anything.
Speaker 1: But having an act would be where I feel trapped,
Speaker 1: having like something to refer back to, and a journey
Speaker 1: would be where I feel trapped. I ultimately have to
Speaker 1: be completely free. And it sounds weird they're talking about
Speaker 1: business could be free, but it kind of comes.
Speaker 2: That's why I think you do so well on social media,
Speaker 2: because you have that freedom.
Speaker 1: I the interesting.
Speaker 2: I think that's why you do so well. I think
Speaker 2: everybody does well. I like the long form hour. I
Speaker 2: like the podcast. I do it twice a week.
Speaker 1: I like but you know where it's going to go.
Speaker 1: You have some plan or no, it's like this, like
Speaker 1: I sat down here today, zero I do it.
Speaker 2: I sit down, I'll have I'll have read about stuff
Speaker 2: the whole week. I'll have a show sheet of articles.
Speaker 2: But I sit down and my producer will bring up
Speaker 2: articles and then in the moment my first reaction to things.
Speaker 2: And sometimes the funniest parts of the show are when
Speaker 2: I have to reverse in the middle of an article
Speaker 2: because I literally have not read the third paragraph. Where
Speaker 2: now it's completely well I'm defending someone. I go yeah
Speaker 2: with this, and then you get to the third paragraphical, Okay,
Speaker 2: well this they are clearly wrong.
Speaker 1: How did your podcast explode like this? You were on
Speaker 1: Rogan pandemic but like what he was promoted like you
Speaker 1: were on him and then what you just watched them all?
Speaker 2: So I did a bunch of podcasts, you know, lot
Speaker 2: of you know, we all do each other's podcast.
Speaker 1: It really helps the promotion, like it really really yeah.
Speaker 2: Because people are out there and they're looking for things,
Speaker 2: and you know, I've done everything from Logan Paul to
Speaker 2: Joe Rogan to Theovonne to you know, you just do
Speaker 2: a bunch of different podcasts.
Speaker 1: And who is the fun Who do you think is
Speaker 1: the funniest? Who do you laugh the hardest at?
Speaker 2: People? You will never you don't know who they are?
Speaker 1: Do people know who they are?
Speaker 2: Like? Yeah, Like I think some of the funniest comedians
Speaker 2: in the world are people that aren't huge, but they're
Speaker 2: super funny. Whether there's somebody like Eddie Pepatone makes me
Speaker 2: laugh incredibly hard. Who's a guy from LA who's an
Speaker 2: older guy, you know, I mean some more, who's a
Speaker 2: black comedian? Makes me laugh. I mean, she's done stuff
Speaker 2: that's hilarious, like, but I mean she's she's a very
Speaker 2: established comedian's done a lot. But I mean it's like,
Speaker 2: and then my friends are all very funny. And the
Speaker 2: people that are, you know, in my orbit and the
Speaker 2: people that I know, whether it's Shane Gillis with Levonne
Speaker 2: or Andrew Schultz or whatever, we all respect each other
Speaker 2: and stuff. And I think they're all obviously hilarious. But
Speaker 2: then there's people that, I mean literally they make me laughing.
Speaker 2: They're just you know, for whatever, they're not as known
Speaker 2: as they should be.
Speaker 1: How competitive, like because it's it's just a different type
Speaker 1: of thing where actors are doing.
Speaker 2: Different I don't think it's a competitive.
Speaker 1: Okay, because I was gonna say actors are doing different
Speaker 1: types of roles.
Speaker 2: It's competitive, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: They're seeing each other in their own habitat in and out,
Speaker 1: and like, how cringe is it when you see someone
Speaker 1: that you really know and you can.
Speaker 2: Take my fans, I haven't done a good job. What
Speaker 2: do you mean? Meaning like, if me and you go
Speaker 2: up for the same role, you can get that role.
Speaker 2: But it's not like there's a finite amount of fans.
Speaker 1: You're saying you as long as you get your A,
Speaker 1: you don't give a fuck if everybody gets an A.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like it's not a zero sum game, meaning
Speaker 2: that if you do something good consistently, somebody is gonna
Speaker 2: like it. It might be Madison Square Garden, it might
Speaker 2: be Carnegie Hall, it might be Gotham Comedy Club. Who can, Like,
Speaker 2: did you ever.
Speaker 1: Want to be on SNL for example as a cast member?
Speaker 2: Did you try me as a kid?
Speaker 1: You never tried? This wasn't something as an adult you tried?
Speaker 1: Or no, I never got an audition, but I never
Speaker 1: try to get an audition.
Speaker 2: I don't know. My manager might have tried. I wasn't
Speaker 2: pushing it.
Speaker 1: You didn't care enough, And that's not Is that not
Speaker 1: your genre? Like improv?
Speaker 2: Anyway?
Speaker 1: I never did improv, right, and you have to have
Speaker 1: done that to be there? No, Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2: I just I'm I'm very like, I don't have a
Speaker 2: plan on the high five. Yeah, I don't like, I'm
Speaker 2: you want to do course? The thing I started podcasting,
Speaker 2: I didn't know what it was. I became really good
Speaker 2: at it and people like it, Like I have friends
Speaker 2: at SNL that are great at what they do. I
Speaker 2: did sketches on the tette that did very well for
Speaker 2: me and got me fans like. I like that. I
Speaker 2: don't dislike it. It just I don't. I don't have
Speaker 2: like an overarching idea of what it has to be.
Speaker 1: I'm the exact same I do. I go with it
Speaker 1: where I like, just go sure, I do. It moves
Speaker 1: me and some meant.
Speaker 2: To be kind of where it's not meant to be.
Speaker 2: I think for several of my friends that are on
Speaker 2: that show that they that was their dream or they
Speaker 2: fit perfectly into it, or they loved it. And you know,
Speaker 2: so what how fucked up?
Speaker 1: On a zero to ten?
Speaker 2: Was your childhood? Like, I don't know, because it's there's always.
Speaker 1: No, you're not cigarettes, weren't putting out of a.
Speaker 2: Saying an aa. Every bottom has a basement. So like
Speaker 2: every time I think it's bad, and it wasn't great,
Speaker 2: schizophrenic mom, the parents were not around. I was doing
Speaker 2: coked thirteen like me.
Speaker 1: So based on what you know about my life, less
Speaker 1: someone the same same or more or less.
Speaker 2: Act similar okay similar, maybe you have a little more crazy,
Speaker 2: but maybe not. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Okay, but I'm saying, like you had food on the table. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's and you were and lit cigarettes weren't being put.
Speaker 2: Out right, And I was not physically abused and I
Speaker 2: was not.
Speaker 1: Did you witness a lot of physical or sexual abuse
Speaker 1: or nothing like that.
Speaker 2: I did not witness any sexual abuse, physical abuse, not.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of slamming of doors and screaming
Speaker 2: and stuff. Okay, but it was not like people's heads
Speaker 2: weren't going through the wall. That's mine.
Speaker 1: But yeah, okay, you know, but it was they were
Speaker 1: just not you know, you weren't parented.
Speaker 2: They were I was raised kind of it was the
Speaker 2: wild West. But again, now I hear other people to
Speaker 2: go I was not, but I was abused, God forbid
Speaker 2: sexual Like that wasn't my story. Okay, but my story
Speaker 2: was like I'm running around doing blow when I'm thirteen
Speaker 2: because you know, my mother there is like not present
Speaker 2: and my father is not present. Rules are guardians in
Speaker 2: a band, and my mother is like, you know, they're not.
Speaker 2: They weren't bad people, they were just not good parents.
Speaker 1: It sounds like I describe your childhood's free range parenting.
Speaker 2: Free range parents. And by the way, it wasn't that
Speaker 2: unusual totally for the era. Totally. It wasn't like total,
Speaker 2: like my friend's parents might have been a little more regimented,
Speaker 2: but it was still you had a wide berth as
Speaker 2: a kid back then. Go out. No, it's never where
Speaker 2: are you going? Can I have the parents' number? Can
Speaker 2: I call them? Are the parents going to be there?
Speaker 2: It was we're going out, We're going to the park,
Speaker 2: We're going to hang out, We're going for pizza. We'll
Speaker 2: see you in five hours minimum.
Speaker 1: No. No, the door was open. The mother was smoking,
Speaker 1: drinking wine while pregnant.
Speaker 2: Barbagoulahan was sick. She's on a who we loved, and
Speaker 2: she passed away. But she would sit on the thing
Speaker 2: and she'd smoke her bot and she'd say the thing
Speaker 2: that I think is one of the greatest things I've
Speaker 2: ever heard. She goes, now buzz, she used to talk
Speaker 2: like this. She goes buys. If you get any trouble tonight,
Speaker 2: don't call here, she goes. I know a lot of
Speaker 2: people say if their kids get in trouble, we want
Speaker 2: to be the first call. She goes. If you get arrested,
Speaker 2: if you get in a car and drink, if you
Speaker 2: do anything, do not call here. I take the phone
Speaker 2: off the hook at eleven thirty. Do not call here.
Speaker 2: She'd smoke a cigarette. You go, so have fun, have fun,
Speaker 2: but don't call here. Basically like, go do what you want,
Speaker 2: but if you fuck up, this will be on it.
Speaker 1: It was a generation of latchkey parenting. Yet this is
Speaker 1: not like I was going into the city on the train.
Speaker 1: First of all, at thirteen, I was at the Rafters
Speaker 1: in Saratoga partying all night, right. But at fourteen, I
Speaker 1: was going on the Long Island Railroad into the city,
Speaker 1: going to the Palladium, walking up to Howard as my
Speaker 1: mother taught me to do with my my my fake
Speaker 1: ID and I. She was like, you act like you
Speaker 1: belong to get in right, And I would act like
Speaker 1: I belong and I would end up in the Michael
Speaker 1: Todd room at the Palladium, and it was the greatest exhilaration.
Speaker 1: But this is gonna sound crazy. Yes, I drink more now,
Speaker 1: like I get more wild. I was responsible. I was
Speaker 1: a responsible person that yes did happen to do cocaine
Speaker 1: and the Michael Todd room. And like I was like
Speaker 1: an adult as a child, it just was like you,
Speaker 1: I grow up quick, I just was.
Speaker 2: I think when you realize too, and I realized my
Speaker 2: mother was kind of off, and even though she was
Speaker 2: a really good person, a passionate person, a smart person,
Speaker 2: shed issues. And I think when you realize your parents
Speaker 2: aren't parents, you have to grow up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you are an adult. Yeah they're not parent,
Speaker 1: but they're also sort of peers. I think back then,
Speaker 1: parenting wasn't like your parenting as a verb. You were
Speaker 1: just a parent. We were a parent, but you weren't parenting.
Speaker 2: No. I mean the great example of this is when
Speaker 2: you know another you know family, I won't mention their names,
Speaker 2: but you know, back then you were also very close
Speaker 2: with your friend's families.
Speaker 1: Like they you could be there for three weeks, eating
Speaker 1: dinner at the house every night.
Speaker 2: They imprinted on you. Yes, right, and you know, like this.
Speaker 1: If it cost any money, because you weren't going vacation.
Speaker 1: You're living there eating.
Speaker 2: And you know, one day my friend's mother said, and
Speaker 2: we're all sitting there and we were like, maybe, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know, sixteen and she said, you know, at
Speaker 2: eighteen years old, she goes, it's really time for you
Speaker 2: guys to start your own life. Like she was basically
Speaker 2: saying like, we've had fun, we've enjoyed this time that
Speaker 2: we've all spent together, but me and your father really
Speaker 2: want to get a condo in Naples. And you know,
Speaker 2: this is this is now your life, This is not
Speaker 2: my life. She goes, so our lives are going to part.
Speaker 2: And she would say this to all of us as
Speaker 2: we were sitting there, and she'd be talking to her son,
Speaker 2: but in a way to all of us where she'd
Speaker 2: go that, you know, this has been great, but now
Speaker 2: it's time. So now it's so different. People are so
Speaker 2: much more. You have the location on the phone, Well
Speaker 2: why are you there? And somebody will answer and go, Hi,
Speaker 2: I'm at the Apple store. Because what are you doing
Speaker 2: at the Apple store? My friend will call her son,
Speaker 2: why are you with the Apples? I need a headphone?
Speaker 2: Why don't you have your headphone? Like it's a whole thing.
Speaker 2: Well here's if you need to live somewhere till you're thirty,
Speaker 2: now you can do it. Oh my god. Where when
Speaker 2: we they would literally go, we want to rent out
Speaker 2: these rooms. They would say stuff like that. They'd be like,
Speaker 2: we don't, you're gonna pay rent? Like it was it
Speaker 2: was an economic. The house was an economic thing.
Speaker 1: Well, I find a couple things now in meeting different men,
Speaker 1: I want to tell you a couple of dynamics you'll
Speaker 1: find interesting. First of all, I'm meeting different men. A
Speaker 1: lot of the big things they want to say is
Speaker 1: I'm very involved. It makes me want to punch them
Speaker 1: in the face. I can't explain it, just like a
Speaker 1: very involved parent.
Speaker 2: Shut the fuck.
Speaker 1: I don't know why it bothers me. It's just like
Speaker 1: you want a cookie. I can't explain it annoys me
Speaker 1: the way it annoys room and men like I eat clean.
Speaker 1: I'm like, ew, just not something you need to say.
Speaker 1: I don't know why it's annoying. Yeah, but I find
Speaker 1: that not just that people are letting the kids run
Speaker 1: the program. Like as much as my daughter listened, she's
Speaker 1: full in first class to Emirates, she's been to Paris
Speaker 1: Fashion Week. No one's crying for her. But I am.
Speaker 1: I do not negotiate with terrorists like they'll be this
Speaker 1: little thing. There's like this little sort of like threshold
Speaker 1: where they think like they're voting members of the community.
Speaker 1: They really and I don't will like listen out crowdsource
Speaker 1: what she wants to do, I wanna go this weekend,
Speaker 1: or we're gonna go here, whatever, But like if it
Speaker 1: pushes towards what I know is right in the universe,
Speaker 1: Like let's say I'm dating someone. Let's say I'm dating
Speaker 1: someone seriously, but she's not like ready for that. And
Speaker 1: they're not short, bald, old, they check all, they're not
Speaker 1: gold diggers, they're all the things we discuss good energy
Speaker 1: matchic she wanted, and she'll like, I don't know, it
Speaker 1: might be like a little too soon, or might be whatever.
Speaker 1: And I literally will have said this to my daughter.
Speaker 1: I've said, I'm fifty three, it's not that fucking cute. Okay,
Speaker 1: at fifty eight dating, it's not gonna be cute. So
Speaker 1: if you want me to be the old lady with
Speaker 1: the cats saying why aren't you spending time with me,
Speaker 1: that's fine. But I'm telling you that, like mom has
Speaker 1: still got some game and I've got some good interests.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to be dating, like and there's going
Speaker 1: to be someone, and I'm going to keep you in
Speaker 1: mind as do they like kids? And do we not
Speaker 1: have little two year olds? Because none of us want that.
Speaker 1: And I'll talk to you as a partner in this household.
Speaker 1: But like, ultimately I'm a great mom. You're safe. I'm
Speaker 1: living my life too.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 1: Like I will say that to my kid and she
Speaker 1: will get it because it's like, I'm not living your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah you are. Say with the friends, how are you
Speaker 2: with the friend? Because what's interesting.
Speaker 1: About what do you think of that? Do you think
Speaker 1: that's right or wrong?
Speaker 2: When I said I think it's right. But to me,
Speaker 2: what's interesting is how are you with the friends? Her friends? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: so she'll have I Do you look at one of them?
Speaker 1: Yes, troublemaker. Talk to the other parents, find out that
Speaker 1: that's the one. Find out that other parents have a problem,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and make it be known and find
Speaker 1: that because that's where the slippery slope really happens.
Speaker 2: That's one.
Speaker 1: It's that you take the rotten apple next to the
Speaker 1: right apple, and that right now.
Speaker 2: So I was hanging out when I was thirteen years old,
Speaker 2: Me and my other thirteen year old friends were hanging
Speaker 2: out with nineteen year old cocaine dealers. That's the problem.
Speaker 1: Diamond Bob for Lauderdale, Florida. My daughter may never listen
Speaker 1: to this posdeige.
Speaker 2: So this is what I mean, Like when we're hanging
Speaker 2: out with twenty year olds and we're fourteen and they're
Speaker 2: driving us around the world getting high and it's not
Speaker 2: like we advertise this to our parents, but they weren't
Speaker 2: present and they had no idea it. It is a
Speaker 2: huge thing. Like as I grow up, like when I
Speaker 2: was my nineties, ethos of everyone's an individual and it
Speaker 2: doesn't matter what who your friends are, You're your own thing.
Speaker 2: As I get older, I do understand community more and
Speaker 2: influences more. So I look at kids and I go, Obviously,
Speaker 2: I'm thirty nine, I'm not a parent, but I go,
Speaker 2: I almost think more important than the school they go
Speaker 2: to or their extra is their friends.
Speaker 1: But word, and I'm and I'm yeah, I'm on the case.
Speaker 1: I got threw down with a mom. I'm on the case.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would do if it went
Speaker 1: sideways and it has a.
Speaker 2: Little grew a mom Like I just full on.
Speaker 1: Went in about something I got done in a couple.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't give a ship. I just
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just like kind of laid into her and
Speaker 1: let her know where the weaby pad was and wasn't
Speaker 1: and and but did it in a strategic way so
Speaker 1: I don't blow the whole thing up my daughter in
Speaker 1: school and whatever. But like I would have been if
Speaker 1: I weren't a public person, I'd be that mother like
Speaker 1: showed up and rollers and a cigarette down at that
Speaker 1: fucking school, screaming at everybody. Like and I would have
Speaker 1: been that crazy mother. That's me.
Speaker 2: That's a fun woman.
Speaker 1: That's that's who I am in my body. Like, let's
Speaker 1: put it this way, this actually happened. Okay, let's pretend
Speaker 1: one of her schools she got to different schools. I
Speaker 1: had seen her playing a sport at one school, and
Speaker 1: then we were at another school, and she said that,
Speaker 1: like the coach was letting them go early, and like
Speaker 1: I watched them all and it's a better school, more expensive,
Speaker 1: more elite school, and I watched them all look like
Speaker 1: the bad news bearers, and it was like, not really
Speaker 1: for good reason, and there was not really being a
Speaker 1: lot of coaching. I can't believe that I was the
Speaker 1: person that found out. There was a father next to me,
Speaker 1: the man, and he was like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is horrendous, and he's complaining, give me all the reasons
Speaker 1: because I'm not very involved, right, So I go to
Speaker 1: my assistant, just get me the guy who's in charge
Speaker 1: of all the athletics at this particular school, and I
Speaker 1: got him on the phone. I was super nice. I
Speaker 1: was like, listen, I don't know much. I don't know
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 2: I go.
Speaker 1: I don't know much. But I was at this other
Speaker 1: school and they're not supposed.
Speaker 2: To be way.
Speaker 1: Better than this. I watched this. You're better than this.
Speaker 1: I know they leave early. Sometimes you gotta pull this together.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling I'm not gonna call a bunch of times.
Speaker 1: I'm not the squeaky wheel. I'm just telling you I
Speaker 1: watched it myself. This is not great. And I asked
Speaker 1: my daughter if I could she minded me doing it
Speaker 1: because she felt like a loser too, being on the
Speaker 1: loser teange right, And it did. I sort of got
Speaker 1: a course corrected. It's just that they're not going to
Speaker 1: the Olympics. But I just am saying like it just
Speaker 1: kind of jacked it up a little. So I will
Speaker 1: be a little bit of a Karen when it comes
Speaker 1: to like lodging a complaint.
Speaker 2: Good. I think that's an important thing to do, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but so I I'm I'm the not fucking around program. Mom,
Speaker 1: I'm we could go and well we could buy something,
Speaker 1: not even buy experiences.
Speaker 2: But you can tell when the kids come over, can
Speaker 2: you tell? You can look at one of them and go,
Speaker 2: this is going to be an issue one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: And with me, I know the ones who are super
Speaker 1: into me and want to bond with me on do
Speaker 1: your lip gloss and like kiss my ass, and they
Speaker 1: are the thirsty for the fame and that stuff, and
Speaker 1: so that I hate. Also, that's a different dynamic. They
Speaker 1: want to like be around all the time and they
Speaker 1: you know, they want to be in a TikTok of
Speaker 1: mine or something. So I don't that I don't like
Speaker 1: for my daughter because I feel like, are they then
Speaker 1: using her? That's a different brand. But that's right, there's
Speaker 1: that too. So anyway, Yeah, so would you take the
Speaker 1: free range parenting or this over coddling parenting if you
Speaker 1: had to?
Speaker 2: You gotta split the differ right down the middle. You
Speaker 2: gotta split the difference. I think part of the what
Speaker 2: made I'm writing a book about this now and finishing it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's called it's called Death by Boomers, and it's about
Speaker 2: the way we all grew up part of that generation.
Speaker 2: And what made them very funny is that they were deeply,
Speaker 2: deeply selfish, and they were told that that they were.
Speaker 2: It was about them, and their kids were not. Their
Speaker 2: kids were part of it, but they were not the
Speaker 2: whole thing.
Speaker 1: This is the Dennis Leary program. He had nine kids,
Speaker 1: and they took care of each other. And that's why
Speaker 1: they had nine kids, so they could be like they're
Speaker 1: doing a commune and the parents what they wanted to parents.
Speaker 2: And I grew up with parents, and they, you know,
Speaker 2: and my friend's parents, they were all very similar. It
Speaker 2: was about them where they wanted to live. We worked
Speaker 2: hard our whole lives. You kids have no idea how
Speaker 2: tough it's been. For it's actually was the easiest person
Speaker 2: the easiest run of any generation ever. They had for
Speaker 2: the most part, outside of Vietnam, no war, it was peaceful,
Speaker 2: They had low interest rates, they had a pretty good economy.
Speaker 2: Like they've created this narrative of victimhood that's completely unrre true,
Speaker 2: and they would always sit us down, or you have
Speaker 2: no idea difficult now. Conversely, their parents went through World
Speaker 2: War two, the Great Depression, plagues. It's like, you know,
Speaker 2: actual problems, and the Boomer generation kind of creates this
Speaker 2: narrative that they've been the most put upon generation ever,
Speaker 2: which isn't true, and that is their reason why they
Speaker 2: have to.
Speaker 1: Be the Only problem I have with the whole thing
Speaker 1: you're saying is that, like, so you and I are
Speaker 1: a fairly new friendship, but like we like being together,
Speaker 1: like talking to each other, like hanging out, like we're
Speaker 1: having a relationship. I like having a relationship with my
Speaker 1: daughter because she's a very interesting, cool person, So I
Speaker 1: enjoy not because like I have to be her mommy
Speaker 1: all the time and do the costumes and perform. I
Speaker 1: actually she's another human being, and I, like you, I
Speaker 1: laughed at her, like experiencing with her. I like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's not just an unmolding her. So that's the flaw
Speaker 1: with the only flaw with that program I think. I
Speaker 1: think Actually the program I discussed where parents are like
Speaker 1: letting their kids run the story, that's also not realistic
Speaker 1: because the kids are inmates running the asylum. That's also
Speaker 1: not a relationship. And then also just being an adult
Speaker 1: that has like these tenants in your house.
Speaker 2: The boomers looked at their kids as like impediments to
Speaker 2: their happiness, right, tenants. Tenants, You're like, you're in my way.
Speaker 2: I want to do this, you're here.
Speaker 1: And then why did they have them?
Speaker 2: Well, they just felt like I think that's all they
Speaker 2: get exposed to the live woodsell like Woodstock was. This
Speaker 2: whole idea was like all these people are like into
Speaker 2: like really like transformational vibrational energy. You know, they were
Speaker 2: drug addicts. It was selfish drug addicts and want to
Speaker 2: have sex in a field exactly.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: So this whole idea of like, no, they were challenging
Speaker 2: power structures with the psychedelics, and it's like, no, they weren't.
Speaker 2: They were getting high exactly. So then you understand them
Speaker 2: and they're fun, and you understand them in a much
Speaker 2: different way than you would have understood them. How have
Speaker 2: you taken all this at face value? When you kind
Speaker 2: of get under the mythos of Woodstock and the hippies
Speaker 2: and how that was kind of bullshit, And then you
Speaker 2: get under the mythos of like that they were like
Speaker 2: this the other that they had it so hard and stuff,
Speaker 2: but they were very and the part of the point
Speaker 2: of my book is no generation was funnier. They were
Speaker 2: because they were the most unique. They didn't care and
Speaker 2: to be funny, you're.
Speaker 1: Talking about the now, but what about the generation of
Speaker 1: like you that's born from them and like me, we're
Speaker 1: we're funny too.
Speaker 2: But nobody was funnier or had less awareness than the
Speaker 2: generation of our patent. Nobody cared less. My father the
Speaker 2: other day.
Speaker 1: Oh we are we won down from Archie Bunker, like
Speaker 1: uh kind of.
Speaker 2: But my father the other day, my step sister was
Speaker 2: going on and on about climate change or whatever. My
Speaker 2: dad would just look through and he goes, you know
Speaker 2: when you really start paying attention to the weather when
Speaker 2: you get a boat, because him and his wife just
Speaker 2: got a boat, and he started talking about how hard
Speaker 2: it was for them to both. They are so not
Speaker 2: on earth, these people. It makes them the funniest group
Speaker 2: of people to me because they are completely out of
Speaker 2: it in a way that's like unreal. They're not on
Speaker 2: earth anymore, and they're just kind of like there and
Speaker 2: it's about them, and they're a lot of fun as
Speaker 2: long as you don't have to depend on them to
Speaker 2: become a person.
Speaker 1: They're so fucking selfish and hilarious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, real, how selfish and funny. They are my dad's
Speaker 2: a yeah when you get a boat, because that's when
Speaker 2: you start to pay attention.
Speaker 1: And they're not flexible whatsoever. They're great on like a lot.
Speaker 2: Walk into my father's house. They have something on the thing.
Speaker 2: It says, I just want to drink wine and pet
Speaker 2: my dogs. And that's their quote. And he has three dogs,
Speaker 2: and that's what they want. They don't care. They don't
Speaker 2: care if any If you bring up the Middle East
Speaker 2: or China, they look at you like you have ten
Speaker 2: heads and they start talking about their dog. Immediately, I
Speaker 2: think that.
Speaker 1: You and I have a little here's the thing. So
Speaker 1: there's this guy break there's like life coach. I hate
Speaker 1: that word, but I've known him for years and he
Speaker 1: actually gives. He's very good and he doesn't believe in obligation,
Speaker 1: and I actually like it. But either of my parents, No,
Speaker 1: I don't really. I don't really either, meaning I believe
Speaker 1: in doing what you. I do a lot of things
Speaker 1: I don't know I wouldn't necessarily choose to do, but
Speaker 1: it's like because I kind of want to do them.
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like an obligation. Like when I take
Speaker 1: my daughter to school, and if I'm tired. It's not
Speaker 1: an obligation. It's just something like I do or want
Speaker 1: to do. There's like a fine line. But I don't
Speaker 1: like doing things that I don't want to do if
Speaker 1: they're like, how do I explain it? Like I don't
Speaker 1: give someone a gift unless I just want to give
Speaker 1: them a gift, a gift for a goal. Because I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to do the things. I'm just not very big
Speaker 1: on that. I do things really because I want to
Speaker 1: do them. But I think that's the most genuine way
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 2: You were talking about spirituality last night. It came up. Yes,
Speaker 2: this is interesting. You were surprised when you said where
Speaker 2: you with religion? Which is a hilarious By the way,
Speaker 2: it's a hilarious thing to say to dinner. I love that, right, Well,
Speaker 2: just no one says it, but it's so funny. No
Speaker 2: one says it.
Speaker 1: No one says where you with religion?
Speaker 2: No one is ever sat in the middle of a
Speaker 2: dinner with a bunch of people who've never met each other.
Speaker 2: Where are you with religion? I thought it was funny.
Speaker 2: I just told it. Nobody passes a bag clamic. And
Speaker 2: by the way, what's the meaning of life, and I'm
Speaker 2: like eating my currella stick. But I'm like, really, but
Speaker 2: I said, I said, I was hardwired. You know, the
Speaker 2: Catholic thing in me is hardwired. And it's like like
Speaker 2: I could never be an a full honey. I have
Speaker 2: friends that are full on eighth I believe in nothing
Speaker 2: and that's our whole thing. And I go, I just
Speaker 2: could never do it because but.
Speaker 1: You're not mad at them.
Speaker 2: I'm mad at them, right, Okay, I'm mad at them
Speaker 2: at all. I'm also proselytizing to them at all. I
Speaker 2: just I think you're hardwired a certain way when you're young,
Speaker 2: and I was hardwired the way that I'm hardwired, and
Speaker 2: it was you know, with churches and you know, prayers and.
Speaker 1: Culture though that's your culture. That's Jewish people, you know,
Speaker 1: with with what they're eating and where they're going and
Speaker 1: the guilt and and it's not necessarily about God or
Speaker 1: religion per se. I mean, sure, culture to it.
Speaker 2: But I think it's like right, But then there's some
Speaker 2: people's culture where they're like they were hardwired to just
Speaker 2: have a gift totally. Like there's friends I have that
Speaker 2: cannot even go near the idea of the spiritual or
Speaker 2: the religious. Okay, so I'm a mutt of it.
Speaker 1: And here's why I My mother was born Catholic in
Speaker 1: a very abusive household. Her brother had a shotgun I
Speaker 1: think at nine or eleven to his father's head for
Speaker 1: how he's beaten the shit of the out of their mother.
Speaker 1: And so I broke the chain of like the crazy
Speaker 1: abusive generational trauma. But they grew up in a fucked up,
Speaker 1: crazy Catholic house. She marries my real father, who's Jewish,
Speaker 1: and no one could have kids on that side, so
Speaker 1: she goes through an Orthodox conversion so I could be
Speaker 1: born Jewish. She then marries another horse trainer, John Paracella,
Speaker 1: who's devout Catholic, who sends me to Saint Agnes School
Speaker 1: and Old Westbury School. The child puts me through a communion,
Speaker 1: a confirmation the wafer. I loved reading the Old Testament,
Speaker 1: went to all these schools, learned all about it, and
Speaker 1: came out like what, Okay, right I am? Ever, I
Speaker 1: can be anything you want me to beg Yeah, you
Speaker 1: want me to be? What do you want me to be?
Speaker 1: You want to do? Rahmaed on down? Yeah you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like I. And that's why when people
Speaker 1: say questions to me, that's why I ask that question
Speaker 1: because someone if someone says to me, how's your relationship
Speaker 1: with your parents? Thank God they're both dead, because then
Speaker 1: I get to say they're both dead. But before that,
Speaker 1: it was like or like what religion are you? It's
Speaker 1: like under the table, I can't answer basic where'd you
Speaker 1: grow up? Thirteen schools? I can't answer basic questions. I
Speaker 1: grew up at Hot Skates and Limbrook, right where I
Speaker 1: grew up.
Speaker 2: I know, I've driven by it many times. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: well it's interesting. I think that, Like, but that is
Speaker 2: in and of itself, even though it's some you know,
Speaker 2: the way you're calling it a munth, It's like, I
Speaker 2: gotta be honest, it's kind of a deeply faithful way
Speaker 2: to grow up really different faith traditions and being enmeshed
Speaker 2: in them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've experienced both deeply. I've experienced.
Speaker 2: I don't think. I think that makes you more spiritual
Speaker 2: and more aware of that stuff than anybody and.
Speaker 1: Could be not spiritual, like just a cardboard cutout?
Speaker 2: Who could?
Speaker 1: But what do they think goes on? Like nothing goes on?
Speaker 1: You're just like are you just a cardboard cut, it's
Speaker 1: not made and you can speak.
Speaker 2: Like I got things. There are people that for whatever
Speaker 2: reason just don't have an interest in that dimension of life.
Speaker 2: They don't think about how they treat people, or they
Speaker 2: don't think about uh, you know, any type of nora.
Speaker 2: Let's just say they don't think about the soul at all.
Speaker 2: They think primarily only about the here and now, and
Speaker 2: they don't think about any other stuff. Do you go
Speaker 2: to confession? I just started going to church again, and
Speaker 2: not super regularly, so I haven't been to confession, but
Speaker 2: I used to when I was a Kids.
Speaker 1: Say, why do you have to go to confession when
Speaker 1: going right? Is there a rule of going right? No?
Speaker 2: No, well I mean church, isn't confession right? Confession thing
Speaker 2: you have to go to do a thing? No? I
Speaker 2: haven't yet.
Speaker 1: Wait but no, But ken could have person just only
Speaker 1: go to confession and never go to church.
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Could I walk in and just go to confession?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Someone's there right now, someone always there?
Speaker 2: Hours?
Speaker 1: Oh, there actually are hours.
Speaker 2: There's hours. Interesting, But you can go and you could
Speaker 2: say here's I you know, I've done X, Y and C.
Speaker 1: I haven't been in years. But do they really do
Speaker 1: like the three hail marriage or do they talk to
Speaker 1: you it's a little bit of therapy? Is there a
Speaker 1: little bit of therapy to it? I think there is, really,
Speaker 1: Like I think there is a say I want to
Speaker 1: sleep with my best friends partner?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what would the priests say? What do you think
Speaker 2: film it? No? I don't know. I mean old priests
Speaker 2: are not created equal clearly, Okay, priests are humans and
Speaker 2: have lots of problems. Many documentaries, I couldn't predict that.
Speaker 2: I would imagine coveting thy neighbor's wife, husband or whatever.
Speaker 2: Is is no going, that's on the big ten. Okay,
Speaker 2: that's the big ten, and.
Speaker 1: I would just say no go they would, right, you
Speaker 1: mean because oh yeah commandment? Right?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: No? Is that the command and seven deadly sins?
Speaker 2: So if you came in and said, I'm thinking of
Speaker 2: killing I'm thinking of coveting the wife. I'm really jealous
Speaker 2: my neighbor has so much money. And I don't you go.
Speaker 1: That you and I should rank the commandments and the sins,
Speaker 1: like in order of importance the sins, like, because I
Speaker 1: feel like the sins are supposed to be equal. Like
Speaker 1: I find it's funny because my mother, who was brilliant, beautiful,
Speaker 1: like show stopping beautiful, but brilliant, smarter than I am, funny,
Speaker 1: et cetera. The reason she went into and alcohol vanity
Speaker 1: and it's not people talk about the time I'm vain,
Speaker 1: I'm not va. I am not vain, And maybe that's
Speaker 1: why I never thought about it, like Freud would have
Speaker 1: a field day. But I am not a vain person
Speaker 1: by and large. I mean, I don't want to go
Speaker 1: out and look like a wreck, but overall, it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be something that even defines me. I think that's a
Speaker 1: really really debilitating bad one.
Speaker 2: There are tons of There are tons of bad, negative
Speaker 2: things that you can develop. I guess vanity obviously is
Speaker 2: one of them. Vanity is a tough one because it's
Speaker 2: rewarded in our society. That's why degree that I think
Speaker 2: makes it very hard for people to recognize it right,
Speaker 2: and it can lead them into a just like greed,
Speaker 2: by the way, gluttony, all that stuff. Greed is rewarded.
Speaker 2: Greed is good, you know, But then if greed leads
Speaker 2: you down a road where let's say you are you know, dishonest,
Speaker 2: and you are criminal in your behavior, or and you
Speaker 2: I mean, look at Bernie Madoff. Look at this craziness. Right,
Speaker 2: son kills himself or die? Right, Bernie Madoff dies like
Speaker 2: the wife is whatever, cast aside, whatever hurts all of
Speaker 2: these people, does all these terrible things, and could have
Speaker 2: been just a really rich guy, like but it wasn't
Speaker 2: enough an R a normal rich person. I call NRP. Yes.
Speaker 2: And here's the other thing that nobody really wants to hear.
Speaker 2: It's not that different. Like what he was driven to
Speaker 2: do was an innate It's not like he wanted the boat.
Speaker 2: It's coming from somewhere else that.
Speaker 1: Is seated insecurity, need for approval, need to do all
Speaker 1: of that. You're obsessed with everything. I live for you
Speaker 1: for that, Like do you read everything?
Speaker 2: I don't read everything. No one can read.
Speaker 1: You read a lot, though, Don't you read stuff? You
Speaker 1: have to be reading.
Speaker 2: Somebody that reads more.
Speaker 1: Read significantly less than you. But you just know a lot.
Speaker 2: Because it's interesting. It's interesting because you love.
Speaker 1: The human condition.
Speaker 2: You like, like, I'm curious about people. I'm curious, right,
Speaker 2: that's not young, you know.
Speaker 1: I think it's young to be I think it's do
Speaker 1: you have kids who know? I don't think you don't
Speaker 1: think so Okay, I don't think the forty year old parent,
Speaker 1: new parent, this is your move.
Speaker 2: No, A lot of people I think it's you know,
Speaker 2: I think certain people are really great at it, but
Speaker 2: I think they know it like you know, you're really
Speaker 2: good mom. I think that. For me, it's like I
Speaker 2: think it would be such a shift in lifestyle. Maybe
Speaker 2: it would be good, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think you'd be good at it. I think, and
Speaker 1: it happened to you, you would rise.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be love it.
Speaker 1: No, you wouldn't be terrible. You'd be like me at
Speaker 1: your comedy club getting an eighty and maybe a five extra.
Speaker 2: Eighties good the way I grew up.
Speaker 1: Eighties get a five extra credit. Okay, So let's talk
Speaker 1: about two more things. One is you and I our relationships.
Speaker 1: So we met through in Whitney. For those of you
Speaker 1: who don't know, Tim's amazing, and you guys already know
Speaker 1: that after this conversation, we met through Whitney Cummings via text,
Speaker 1: and then we taxt about lime disease, and then we
Speaker 1: were in the Ham and then we went on our
Speaker 1: first date on a boat and we had which is
Speaker 1: by the way, that's a that's a trapping.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We had a great time, beautiful and then we just
Speaker 1: became with like an instant, like well, I.
Speaker 2: Think we had a similar upbringing and you know, I
Speaker 2: think also from Long Island, like even the things you
Speaker 2: mentioned when you talk about hot like, I know I
Speaker 2: went to birthday you know what I'm talking a birthday party.
Speaker 2: There was tan and like fell down I was I.
Speaker 1: Was the Queen of hot skating. You also, we're both
Speaker 1: good dates to things. We've found out you need to
Speaker 1: sometimes bring someone to something.
Speaker 2: That's not to bring somebody who can hang in his
Speaker 2: fun and gets it and appreciates it.
Speaker 1: And elevates the game and can be by themselves off
Speaker 1: the side and bring an ad. So we've been to
Speaker 1: like we went to crazy ship like the US Open
Speaker 1: and the Mets and and Raos and whatever. Right, so
Speaker 1: finally the.
Speaker 2: Next day we keep one upping each other. The next day,
Speaker 2: I bring you to the Middle East when they make peace.
Speaker 1: Yes, Mets party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So for me, it will be flying into the
Speaker 2: Middle East when there was a piece in the Middle East.
Speaker 2: We're going to Dubai, Yeah, I mean yeah, to be big,
Speaker 2: I'll have to be big.
Speaker 1: It doesn't. I actually enjoyed have.
Speaker 2: US Open my party that had a carvel trock. Yeah,
Speaker 2: cheeseburger delivered by a chef. No, that was.
Speaker 1: Epic, So that I'm gonna say I did. I did
Speaker 1: a video that went viral where this is. That's bigger
Speaker 1: than going That's bigger than going to the Mets. That's
Speaker 1: big in the US Open. That's a lot of fun
Speaker 1: for me. We're in the Hampton's and I was out
Speaker 1: with this guy and Tim and I were coming from
Speaker 1: the fifty fifty cent and it was great. And then
Speaker 1: he was like, let's go to my friend's place. And
Speaker 1: it's the sag Harbor Tavern. It's part of the Red
Speaker 1: Hook Tavern. But I was a little buzz so I
Speaker 1: wasn't connecting the dots to the fact that they have
Speaker 1: the best cheeseburger. Also, I thought we're just going to
Speaker 1: the restaurant. I didn't think, let's go into the restaurant. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're going to a restaurant. So I show up and
Speaker 1: he's with all these comedians like Andrew Schultz and the
Speaker 1: other guy at the Ponytail. I forgot a bunch of
Speaker 1: Markety people there, like like like like I'm already ready.
Speaker 1: You had me at Hello, you have Andrew a comedian there,
Speaker 1: and you're there and then this like amazing chef comes
Speaker 1: and he presents as if I'm Queen Elizabeth the Sag
Speaker 1: Harbor tavern favorite cheeseburger. He wouldn't let me take a
Speaker 1: bite of Tim's cheeseburger because I just like give me
Speaker 1: a bite and he was like no, like heaven forbid,
Speaker 1: and then like he brought it out and I tasted it,
Speaker 1: and I it was like, that was an incredible night.
Speaker 1: We closed the summer. That was like a chef's kiss literal.
Speaker 2: It is always the best week of the summer's the
Speaker 2: final week it was. I don't know why, and that
Speaker 2: was the final night, the final night. It's always the
Speaker 2: best week that week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I like because it's urgency, famous comedians, a
Speaker 1: chef who's going to bring me the best burger?
Speaker 2: Like so much fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my wheelhouse, That's that's my Matt Gallan.
Speaker 2: So that was sick.
Speaker 1: So anyway, we go to REO's and you've seen me
Speaker 1: out on let's just say dates. So the guy that
Speaker 1: we were out with last night or that night, what
Speaker 1: do you I want to hear what you think of
Speaker 1: me and dating, the habitat, the whole thing, honestly.
Speaker 2: And a date or you in your date? Oh, you
Speaker 2: and the data grade, I mean you and the data grade.
Speaker 1: You think it's a good match. What what would be
Speaker 1: a good match for me?
Speaker 2: Well, he's very centered and calm and knows who he
Speaker 2: is and is successful and fun and funny. And you know,
Speaker 2: you think it's good. I think it's very good. Okay,
Speaker 2: thumbs up, thumbs up.
Speaker 1: Give me a grade out of one hundred for him
Speaker 1: for me in the nies nineties? Yeah, wow, okay, And
Speaker 1: I feel like you're a tough critic somewhat.
Speaker 2: No, he's good. I think he's solid. I also like
Speaker 2: that he's from a different part of the country. You do,
Speaker 2: I do? Okay? Why? I think journeys are important and
Speaker 2: I think you.
Speaker 1: Mean like having your own space and.
Speaker 2: Going going not only that, but is it if it's
Speaker 2: too easy? I think it rots you need a little
Speaker 2: rub you rob.
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting. You need a little not not
Speaker 1: like conflict, but a little texture otherwise.
Speaker 2: Like what do we do with dinnernet in? Like No, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like you need a little bit of like let's
Speaker 2: make this time.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I think, Tim, I think of the fucking
Speaker 1: best I live for you. I really do like deeper
Speaker 1: and deeper this is.
Speaker 2: I think we did a great job and I've done
Speaker 2: the biggest podcast in the world, and I think this
Speaker 2: was a great episode. I grade this very highly. Tell
Speaker 2: me what you greeted on in the nineties, same.
Speaker 1: As your guy, and you didn't carry the way, but
Speaker 1: you didn't definitely some of the you wouldn't have thought
Speaker 1: it was going to be like you would have thought.
Speaker 2: I know, I knew it was going to be good,
Speaker 2: but it was actually surprising how good it was. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, because it's different things. I don't talk about parenting ever,
Speaker 2: and no one does. Oh that's what's.
Speaker 1: Interesting, really, Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: Because it's different things interesting a lot of dudes talking
Speaker 2: to dudes.
Speaker 1: Also, we're very similar creatures in the sense that look,
Speaker 1: I mean, for you, you have a big, major fucking
Speaker 1: I don't feel like there are any steaks. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm in a garage band, Like doing a lemonade
Speaker 1: stand doesn't well, thank you, but you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: I just like, I just have a natch curiosity about you,
Speaker 1: and so I was just like, let's you're gonna be
Speaker 1: my house you wanted to see.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm gonna equal out this game. Wait until
Speaker 2: I launch my Barbecue Sauce and then we'll see what's what?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: Definitely awes and thanks