Speaker 1: Three hundred and fifty BC. Aristotle first explores the notion
Speaker 1: of balancing work and leisure in his work First of
Speaker 1: All Aristotle, three fifty BC. I'm sure somebody else explored it,
Speaker 1: they just didn't write it down. Okay, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be like aristantle is the first one. I was
Speaker 1: the one who knew how to write. There was probably
Speaker 1: a sewing circle where women were talking about the ship
Speaker 1: because we've had to do it forever, right.
Speaker 2: More better, More more better.
Speaker 1: Hey, welcome to More Better, a podcast where we do
Speaker 1: stuff to try to get better. Me not remembering how
Speaker 1: to do the intro?
Speaker 3: Whoo really out the gate better intros?
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, that's most Marrow and that's Stephanie Beatrice and
Speaker 1: here we are. Welcome back to our podcast where we
Speaker 1: try to get a little more better every day. Hopefully
Speaker 1: that's why you're here, and not to hear me talk
Speaker 1: about Real housewives like last week, although inevitably it will
Speaker 1: come up.
Speaker 4: I mean, it is what it is.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: You got to give the people what they want.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it is what it is.
Speaker 4: How are you?
Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm pretty good. I'm tired, but I'm good.
Speaker 3: I'm going home soon, excited to see my family and
Speaker 3: get some family time in the midst of this marathon
Speaker 3: that is our job.
Speaker 1: But it's great.
Speaker 4: How are you.
Speaker 1: I'm okay. Yeah. I did some adr for Twisted Metal ooh,
Speaker 1: and I saw some of it and.
Speaker 4: It was good. It looks so good.
Speaker 1: The lighting just looks exciting, stunning. And the car I
Speaker 1: saw one of the car chases it see it looks
Speaker 1: it looks I can't even begin to describe it to you.
Speaker 1: I mean, it looks absolutely out of it looks like
Speaker 1: it's I don't even know how to say. I don't
Speaker 1: know what to say. There's like ten cars they're all
Speaker 1: racing down this like, oh, it's crazy, it's crazy, it's huge.
Speaker 4: It looks like a.
Speaker 1: Movie or something.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited. Does that How long did like that
Speaker 3: car chase take? Was it a full day?
Speaker 1: Was it more than a day?
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, there was more that.
Speaker 1: A lot of it was the second unit with the
Speaker 1: stunt drivers because it's so dangerous and multiple cars get wrecked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: spoiler alert. But our stuff took I think our stuff
Speaker 1: took like two days to shoot, and the scenes beforehand
Speaker 1: took like a week whatever. And then the actual car,
Speaker 1: the stuff inside the cars took like a couple of days,
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: My my parents when they came to Atlanta for Thanksgiving,
Speaker 3: they visited set, and my mom's been on set a
Speaker 3: bit more than my dad, And it's like the same thing.
Speaker 3: Every time someone's on a set for the first time,
Speaker 3: they're just blown away by, like how long it takes
Speaker 3: to shoot a thing?
Speaker 2: Fun.
Speaker 3: And the first thing my dad asked me, he was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: when that scene that I just saw you guys do
Speaker 3: over and over again that you're not even done with,
Speaker 3: like I'm going to leave, You're not, You're still doing it.
Speaker 3: He was like, how long will that scene be in
Speaker 3: the episode? And I was like a minute and a half,
Speaker 3: maybe maybe two minutes because it's kind of a long scene.
Speaker 3: And he was just like wow, yeah, I was like yeah. Like,
Speaker 3: and action sequences, I feel like are the biggest, most
Speaker 3: mind blowing example of that, because you will spend days
Speaker 3: on these action sequences.
Speaker 4: That are a minute long.
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, it's like hours and hours and hours and
Speaker 3: hours and hours.
Speaker 1: Of work for.
Speaker 4: A second.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's for like a week for a thirty minute episode.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just like it's an incredible amount of work, an.
Speaker 4: Incredible amount of work.
Speaker 1: And it's really any TV show though, you know it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's every TV show. Yeah, I think about that would
Speaker 1: it and how and like you know those Game of
Speaker 1: Throne battle scenes, like oh my god, that they would
Speaker 1: difference diverce like as I've been. I watched the first
Speaker 1: season and I was like, oh my god, the way
Speaker 1: that they shoot this, this is like so intense. The
Speaker 1: camera setups must just be like because they're all at
Speaker 1: this weird have you watched it?
Speaker 4: I haven't watched it.
Speaker 1: They're at this weird cubicle where it's like a four
Speaker 1: side it's one room, and it's they all share one
Speaker 1: large desk with their cubicle dividers and there's parts of
Speaker 1: the dividers that they can slide up and down. So
Speaker 1: like as they do cross shooting like coverage, it's just
Speaker 1: like for one scene, if more than two people talk,
Speaker 1: it's just got be like like logistically and multiple time.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how long it would take. Anyway,
Speaker 1: if you guys are listening, I really want to be
Speaker 1: on that show because I'm sure Ben Stiller listens to
Speaker 1: this podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so hit us up, Ben, hit us up, Ben,
Speaker 3: More Better.
Speaker 1: What are we talking about this week? Melissa?
Speaker 3: This week we have another listener question.
Speaker 4: We've got a voice no.
Speaker 1: If you need help with something, by the way, in
Speaker 1: your life and you have a suggestion for a future
Speaker 1: episode or something, you can email us at More Better
Speaker 1: pod at gmail dot com and you can include a
Speaker 1: voice note and it'll be featured on the pod. Okay,
Speaker 1: roll it.
Speaker 6: Hello, Melissa, Hello Stephanie. I'm so excited to be sending
Speaker 6: you all this voice note, and to everybody at More Better,
Speaker 6: thank you all so much for creating this podcast. There
Speaker 6: have been so many times that you all have talked
Speaker 6: about something or how you felt about something, or something
Speaker 6: that you've learned that I have been able to identify
Speaker 6: with so deeply, and it has been such a comfort
Speaker 6: to know that I'm not the only one who is
Speaker 6: struggling with these things, and that I'm not maybe not
Speaker 6: doing as bad in my life as I think I am,
Speaker 6: because we are our own worst critics a lot of
Speaker 6: the time. And so thank you all so much for
Speaker 6: being so open and vulnerable and sharing your wisdom with us,
Speaker 6: because it is making a difference. I know it's made
Speaker 6: such a big difference in my own life and how
Speaker 6: I feel about what I'm doing and just my own
Speaker 6: self worth and self esteem and self confidence, and so
Speaker 6: thank you.
Speaker 1: So I would love to know.
Speaker 6: This is my question for you all, is how have
Speaker 6: you created a work life balance in your own lives
Speaker 6: a little bit of background. So I am a small
Speaker 6: business owner, but I also have a two year old daughter,
Speaker 6: I am married, I have friends, I have other family,
Speaker 6: I have other hobbies, and I have been working really
Speaker 6: hard to create a semblance of work life balance for
Speaker 6: myself this year, and it's been a struggle, and so
Speaker 6: I would love to know, just with you all having
Speaker 6: the careers that you do, but then also having families,
Speaker 6: how have you managed to create a work life balance
Speaker 6: to where you don't feel guilty for maybe going to work,
Speaker 6: but then you also don't feel guilty for sacrificing your
Speaker 6: work to be with your family. So thank you all
Speaker 6: so much. And y'all are wonderful and fabulous, and I
Speaker 6: know you love to hear this, but Broke nine nine
Speaker 6: is my comfort show right now, and so.
Speaker 4: You all are just absolutely awesome.
Speaker 6: So keep doing what you're doing, and I can't wait
Speaker 6: to listen to more of the pod.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Amanda, that made my whole goddamn day,
Speaker 3: my week, my year.
Speaker 1: That's so nice, so nice, that's so nice. Thank you,
Speaker 1: really really lovely. Yeah, but you're ship out of luck because.
Speaker 5: There is no such thing. There is no such things,
Speaker 5: And we're gonna tell you. I think, like, let's let's discuss,
Speaker 5: first of all, what you think that means? Molso, like,
Speaker 5: what what do you think? First of all, she's doing
Speaker 5: the most, like the most. She's her own business, she's
Speaker 5: a kid, she's marrying, she's friends, she's hobbies, Like, yeah,
Speaker 5: she's doing the most, but also like we are doing
Speaker 5: the most as well, Like I don't know anybody that's
Speaker 5: not doing the most.
Speaker 3: Yeah, first of all, congratulations and Samanda on being a
Speaker 3: small business owner. That is no small feat and it
Speaker 3: is extremely admirable and incredible. So just take a moment
Speaker 3: to be proud of yourself for that accomplishment because we
Speaker 3: read huge and yeah, I think, I mean, I don't
Speaker 3: know anyone who has it has this figured out, you know.
Speaker 3: I Our our jobs are sort of all consuming when
Speaker 3: they're happening when we're on set, and so my my
Speaker 3: personal version of work life balance, I think, you know,
Speaker 3: looks a little different some than some other people. Because
Speaker 3: of the nature of our job. When I'm on set,
Speaker 3: in the middle of shooting a show like I currently
Speaker 3: am right now, there are a lot of things that
Speaker 3: have to fall by the wayside. Uh, And I just
Speaker 3: have to accept that. I have to accept that life
Speaker 3: is going to be a little bit messier, that there's
Speaker 3: going to be mistakes, that there's going to be you know, Uh,
Speaker 3: we we've lost two pairs of glasses of my sons
Speaker 3: in the last three weeks. We can't find them. We
Speaker 3: don't know where they are. He's eight years old. It's
Speaker 3: you know, he needs a lot of help remembering them.
Speaker 3: And so it just is what it is. I ordered
Speaker 3: new fucking glasses. I didn't complain, I didn't get upset
Speaker 3: about it. I just ordered new fucking glasses.
Speaker 4: And I'm just like, let's let's keep it moving. Let's
Speaker 4: keep it moving.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: My close friends.
Speaker 3: Understand that I'm not as available when I'm in the
Speaker 3: middle of shooting a show, and I try to be
Speaker 3: conscious of that as soon as the show wraps, to
Speaker 3: like reconnect with people and be like, hey, I'm back, I.
Speaker 4: Have more time.
Speaker 3: What's going on, let's schedule a lunch date, let's you know,
Speaker 3: because like those things have to fall by the wayside
Speaker 3: so that I can just do my job and focus
Speaker 3: all of my extra energy and time on my family.
Speaker 3: And then when I have a little more free time,
Speaker 3: I get to the other things. And also, like I've
Speaker 3: gotten better about trying to do self care when I'm
Speaker 3: in production as well, because I know it's good for
Speaker 3: my mentals and like good for my overall being and
Speaker 3: I'm a better mom and partner and person and actor
Speaker 3: if I'm also taking care of myself, right, But like
Speaker 3: I also know that's the limit. Like family, work, self care,
Speaker 3: that's about all that can happen during production. And then
Speaker 3: when we have these like times in between, when I'm
Speaker 3: not on set, when things are slower, that's when I
Speaker 3: kind of shift my energy and focus into life and
Speaker 3: I try to plan trips, I try to plan dinners,
Speaker 3: I try to see friends, I you know, work out more,
Speaker 3: exercise more, like do things that are good for me more,
Speaker 3: and you know, I try to like just shift more
Speaker 3: energy into those things and for me that at the
Speaker 3: end of the year that ends up being its own
Speaker 3: version of balance, right, And I don't know what kind
Speaker 3: of business you have, Amanda, but you know, I think
Speaker 3: in general most businesses have busy seasons and slower seasons. Again,
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know what your business is, so
Speaker 3: hopefully this applies to you. But I you know, we
Speaker 3: all know when it's on, it's on, and we can't
Speaker 3: feel guilty about the things that have to fall by
Speaker 3: the wayside so that we can get the job done
Speaker 3: and still be like a decent human being throughout the process, right,
Speaker 3: And then when things slow down and we come up
Speaker 3: for air, then it's like, Okay, well, now I got
Speaker 3: to fill my cup. Like I've got to see the
Speaker 3: people that make me feel good. I've got to you know,
Speaker 3: maybe do a few extra self carry things, spend time
Speaker 3: and might spend the extra time with my partner, spend
Speaker 3: extra time with my kids. You know, when I was
Speaker 3: home for Christmas and I had two weeks off from set,
Speaker 3: I made sure to schedule time to like do things
Speaker 3: individually with my kids. So like I had a day
Speaker 3: with Enzo and I had a day with Axel, and like,
Speaker 3: you know, try to be conscious of just like making
Speaker 3: sure I fill my cup, but I fill their cups.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean to like get us to
Speaker 3: the next slow period.
Speaker 1: I guess your favorite day? Who's your favorite? Just kidding?
Speaker 3: Well, since I'm already saving up for their future therapy appointments,
Speaker 3: let me just say.
Speaker 4: I mean that's where I've kind of it's been. You know.
Speaker 3: I think it's an ever evolving process for me, and
Speaker 3: I'm always kind of like trying to check in of
Speaker 3: like okay, like especially when I start to feel burnt out,
Speaker 3: like what next time?
Speaker 4: What can I do so that I don't get to
Speaker 4: this point?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think that that's helpful too, just
Speaker 3: like the continuous check in with yourself with your partner,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: But it's it's hard. It's really hard work life balance.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's why we talk about it
Speaker 3: so much in society.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I wrote down something that my own
Speaker 1: life coach, Lena Florio said to me, which is, you
Speaker 1: can have it all, just not all at once. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think about that all the time.
Speaker 4: It's true.
Speaker 1: You can have it all. You can have a flourishing career,
Speaker 1: you can have a romantic relationship with your partner, you
Speaker 1: can have kids that you're close to and love you.
Speaker 1: You can be involved in your community. You can be
Speaker 1: you know, spending time on yourself and filling your own cup.
Speaker 1: But you can't have that all at once. No, that's
Speaker 1: too many things. Babe likes too many things. Nine hours
Speaker 1: in the day, there's just not And when people are
Speaker 1: like you have as many hours in the day as Beyonce,
Speaker 1: it's not true, no, because I don't have fifty and
Speaker 1: I don't have you know, and like even when Beyonce
Speaker 1: is doing work, she can't always be with her kids.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Like the thing is, you can have it all, but
Speaker 1: you can't have it all at once. And so one
Speaker 1: of the hard things about that is acknowledging that because
Speaker 1: it feels like such a well, it feels like something's
Speaker 1: being stolen from you. Yeah, you know, when I have
Speaker 1: to do sixteen hour days at work, and I'm sure
Speaker 1: when you're pulling, you know, all nighters are all we are,
Speaker 1: you know, not taking days off or whatever. Because you're
Speaker 1: a small business owner. It's just like constant, right, So
Speaker 1: like you feel sometimes probably like this is stealing from
Speaker 1: my time with my family, This is stealing from my
Speaker 1: time with me, even though the whole point of doing
Speaker 1: it is so that you have a future for your family, right,
Speaker 1: and so like that's a really hard thing to kind
Speaker 1: of come to terms. And so I think one of
Speaker 1: the things that I try to do is like reframe
Speaker 1: it in my mind, which is like this isn't forever, right,
Speaker 1: Like it's not gonna be like you said, like there's
Speaker 1: high seasons and low seasons, meaning sometimes things are really
Speaker 1: really really busy and sometimes they're less busy. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: And it's taking the less busy time and going what
Speaker 1: am I going to do with this time? And not
Speaker 1: am I gonna how am I gonna cram it full more?
Speaker 1: How am I going to use it to my two
Speaker 1: to fill me up, to fill my family up, to
Speaker 1: fill up you know. I took a parenting course online.
Speaker 1: Oh doctor Ciggy, uh.
Speaker 4: Oh, I love doctor Sigi. I love doctor Ciggy.
Speaker 1: And she was like, you know, your kid doesn't need
Speaker 1: all the hours in the day, but they do need
Speaker 1: a small amount of concentrated time with you and they
Speaker 1: need to hear you acknowledge it. And so she said
Speaker 1: something like, you know, make sure your kids says make
Speaker 1: sure you say to your kid, wow, I'm so thank
Speaker 1: you so much for spending this special time with just
Speaker 1: me and you. I really loved you know, reading this
Speaker 1: book or eating dinner with you or whatever that small
Speaker 1: amount of like even if it's just like helping them
Speaker 1: get dressed in the morning, like saying to them like,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for letting me witness you pick
Speaker 1: out your clothes this morning. You know, like that was
Speaker 1: so cool. I really love your sense of fashion. It's like,
Speaker 1: it really means a lot to me that you want
Speaker 1: to be around me and that you want to spend
Speaker 1: some time with me. I love our special time together.
Speaker 1: And I say that kind of stuff to Raws all
Speaker 1: the time, even when I don't get to see her
Speaker 1: very much, because at least then she knows and she's
Speaker 1: hearing me say I love our special time together, even
Speaker 1: if it's five minutes. Yeah, you know, even if it's
Speaker 1: one episode of you know, Spidey and his amazing friends,
Speaker 1: even if I don't have the energy to you know,
Speaker 1: do some kind of like craft with her or something.
Speaker 1: So that's another thing I think the like happens too.
Speaker 1: You go like, oh god, I'm not with my kid,
Speaker 1: and like they're not getting any like that. I see
Speaker 1: all these moms and they're like, man, just sorrying and
Speaker 1: they're all doing these things and it's like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: like I don't have the energy and time to do
Speaker 1: that all the time. Sometimes all I can give her
Speaker 1: is thirty minutes of Spidy and his amazing friends, you know, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I got today, and like we're gonna watch
Speaker 1: that together, and I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say to you when it's over, like thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I think Spidey's so funny, Like I love Ghost Spider
Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, like connect with them over the thing.
Speaker 1: It's it's much more about like the quality of the time,
Speaker 1: meaning like the connection that you have with your kid,
Speaker 1: or the connection that you have with your partner, or
Speaker 1: the connection that you have with your friends. I remember
Speaker 1: reading this article in the Time and the New York Times.
Speaker 1: It was like just call your friend, like call them
Speaker 1: randomly and like don't spend more than like ten minutes
Speaker 1: on the phone with them, but just like chat with
Speaker 1: them so that you can reconnect with them and like
Speaker 1: see them for a minute. And that's it. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be like we planned a vacation to Mexico,
Speaker 1: doesn't you know. It can just be you know, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's up. What's going on?
Speaker 4: You know, thinking about you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 4: And I love that advice.
Speaker 3: When I was becoming a mom, my good friend Courtney
Speaker 3: gave me the good the same good advice. Courtney is
Speaker 3: like a high level pr exec at a big studio
Speaker 3: and she travels a lot for work, and I was
Speaker 3: freaking out about becoming a mom and being on set
Speaker 3: all the time and being away from my kid, and
Speaker 3: she was like, Melissa, it's quality over quantity, Like totally,
Speaker 3: that's it. You just have to make sure that you
Speaker 3: are making quality time happen no matter how long or
Speaker 3: short it is. As long as your kid has that, like,
Speaker 3: they'll know that they're loved and they know that you're
Speaker 3: there for them, you know.
Speaker 1: And I know, just a lot of freedom and like
Speaker 1: giving up this idea that you're supposed to do it
Speaker 1: a certain way, yeah, that you're supposed to spend there,
Speaker 1: And I'm saying this my right way, yeah right, Like
Speaker 1: I'm saying this to myself. There is a lot of
Speaker 1: freedom in going like, this is my family and this
Speaker 1: is my kids, my career, and I'm going to try
Speaker 1: to figure out the way that this works for me.
Speaker 1: And I can have it all. I just can't have
Speaker 1: it all at once.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that?
Speaker 1: Is that good?
Speaker 3: It's so good, It's so good.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about the history of work life
Speaker 1: balance as a concept because like we all everybody hears
Speaker 1: about it, right, like, well you got to buy a
Speaker 1: work life balance, but like, what the fuck is that?
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, who originally thought it up?
Speaker 5: Did?
Speaker 1: Where did the idea come from?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Because like you know, when they were freaking kings and
Speaker 1: queens and surfs, there wasn't no one was. Like people
Speaker 1: weren't in like medieval England being wing I want to
Speaker 1: work my balance.
Speaker 3: I mean maybe they were. Maybe we don't know. And
Speaker 3: so how did we get here? How did we get here?
Speaker 1: Three hundred and fifty BC. Aristotle first explores the notion
Speaker 1: of balancing work and leisure in his works Nicomackian Ethics
Speaker 1: and Politics. First of all, Aristotle three fifty BC. I'm
Speaker 1: sure somebody else explored it. They just didn't write it down, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like Aristotle is the first one.
Speaker 1: Some ladies somewhere were somebody's somewhere, you know, write down.
Speaker 1: There was the one who knew how to write showing
Speaker 1: circle where women were talking about the shit because we've
Speaker 1: had to do it forever right. Fifteen thirty six, with
Speaker 1: the publication of Institutes of the Christian Religion, French theologian
Speaker 1: John Calvin helped create the concept that we know today
Speaker 1: as the Protestant work ethic. The gist God has predetermined
Speaker 1: who's going to heaven and who's not, and there's really
Speaker 1: nothing you could do to change your outcome. However, there
Speaker 1: are outward signs of who's who God's chosen or elected
Speaker 1: people are. And one of those signs is being successful
Speaker 1: in business alone.
Speaker 4: A fuck off.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's so absolutely deranged. I just want to say.
Speaker 1: The idea that, first of all, you know, not to
Speaker 1: get into religion too much here or not, but the
Speaker 1: idea that someone has predetermined your life and where you're
Speaker 1: going to end up is just so absolutely bonkers. Banana
Speaker 1: grams just come on. You don't even know what's going
Speaker 1: to happen tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Like yeah, and then it's like nothing matters if that's
Speaker 3: the case, so not nothing, should we purge?
Speaker 5: Should we work like anyway?
Speaker 1: Like yeah? Also, like the idea that like your success
Speaker 1: in business somehow that your idea like The idea that somehow,
Speaker 1: like the the the the amount of money that you
Speaker 1: have is directly related to your goodness as a human
Speaker 1: being is just absolutely ridunculous. And we all know that's
Speaker 1: true because we can look at American's politics.
Speaker 3: Okay seventeen Also, like Saints like saints, like so, yes,
Speaker 3: Saints were poor. Yeah, so like we didn't mean it
Speaker 3: when we like appointed these incredible maples.
Speaker 1: Saints didn't mean it.
Speaker 3: We didn't mean it because they were not successful in
Speaker 3: business and so obviously they are not chosen like a.
Speaker 1: Guide to bear. I do think some of those saints
Speaker 1: had pr people. Okay, some of them.
Speaker 3: It's like why why they ran a very successful campaigns,
Speaker 3: a very tight campaign, a lot of people knocking.
Speaker 1: Also sure that seventeen sixty four the Industrial Revolution. As
Speaker 1: the world became more industrialized, the amount of hours people
Speaker 1: spent working beyanda increased. By the mid nineteenth century, i e.
Speaker 1: Around eighteen fifty, the average full time worker in Britain
Speaker 1: clocked in as much as four thousand, five hundred, five
Speaker 1: hundred hours per care. Let's talk about this right now, yeah, quickly,
Speaker 1: because you know what, the Industrial Revolution great in so
Speaker 1: many ways, but I don't know if you've read any
Speaker 1: of the American Girl books, but there was a character
Speaker 1: called Samantha, And did you read them when you were
Speaker 1: kod I did not know.
Speaker 4: I was like, am Belly high Girl?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, well American Girl when it was originally
Speaker 1: owned by the I think it was like a mount
Speaker 1: Pleasant Company or something. These books were. They were so
Speaker 1: lovely because they were a fictionalized girl that was like
Speaker 1: ten years old in different eras of the United States.
Speaker 1: And the first one, I believe was Kirsten. The second
Speaker 1: one was Samantha, and she was like right around, like
Speaker 1: right when the automobile was coming into play, like turn
Speaker 1: of the century.
Speaker 4: And in one of.
Speaker 1: The books she there's a servant girl named Nelly who
Speaker 1: works I believe works for them, but in Samantha learns
Speaker 1: a lesson. If you've read these books, and you should
Speaker 1: read them to your kids as when they're little, because
Speaker 1: it's such a great way to introduce history and the
Speaker 1: difference in classes in society. Samantha's rich and Nellie's not,
Speaker 1: and she's a servant girl. And Samantha does this speech
Speaker 1: for school about how the industrial revolution is so great
Speaker 1: because everyone can get things and like, you know, you
Speaker 1: can get thread and fabric and everyone can access all
Speaker 1: these things. And then she reads her little speech out
Speaker 1: loud to Nelly, and Nelly's like quiet. Samantha's like, well,
Speaker 1: what's wrong, And Nellie's like, well, the reason the thread
Speaker 1: is so cheap is because all of us were children
Speaker 1: in the factories, like working, you know, sixteen hour days,
Speaker 1: and we had to keep our hair short because you
Speaker 1: could get your hair cut in the machine. And I
Speaker 1: saw one girl who's haircutt in the machine. She was
Speaker 1: covered in blood. And you couldn't wear shoes because you
Speaker 1: had to scramble over the machines really quick. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was I just think I'd like, there's no there's
Speaker 1: no world in which there's no world in which this was.
Speaker 1: The Industrial Revolution was great in many ways, however, fuck okay, well,
Speaker 1: well we fucked it up, like we fuck everything else up.
Speaker 1: Because it should have made things easier, it should have
Speaker 1: made people. It did for some people work less.
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean? In theory? But what
Speaker 4: it all? What it just?
Speaker 3: I think it created rabid consumerism, you know, also output and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but on the other hand, it created a way
Speaker 1: for people to like access money, that maybe never ever
Speaker 1: had the chance before too, So do we have the answers?
Speaker 1: We don't, Okay, we don't. Eighteen fifty to nineteen fifty,
Speaker 1: the workers rights era. This is when people started being like,
Speaker 1: maybe we shouldn't be working in a factory that could
Speaker 1: burn down around us and trap us all inside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and maybe we should have some hours to ourselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The five day work week was introduced, which is
Speaker 1: our Monday through Friday, the advent of paid annual holiday entitlements.
Speaker 1: As a result, the typical working year for full time
Speaker 1: employed workers fell to less than two thousand hours in
Speaker 1: the post Second World War era. Then in the nineteenth seventies,
Speaker 1: the term work life balance was coined in the UK.
Speaker 1: In the late seventies as part of the feminist movements.
Speaker 1: Shot suppresh shock game. Well, well, well, and here it
Speaker 1: is everybody. Now, why do we think that is? Uh,
Speaker 1: we could sit here and talk about it for a
Speaker 1: long long time, but I'm gonna guess it's because women
Speaker 1: started wanting to go into the workforce in a bigger,
Speaker 1: broader way, and that advent of birth control and also
Speaker 1: this you know, historical role in the family as being
Speaker 1: the main caretaker, so like, how do you do all
Speaker 1: of those things right? Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you need time back.
Speaker 1: So like today, the tech revolution, cell phones, social media,
Speaker 1: work from home, et cetera, led to a culture of
Speaker 1: being always on or available. Work life balance becomes vital
Speaker 1: to everyone and it's in the zeitgeist cause lots of
Speaker 1: us lack it. So there's something that I want to
Speaker 1: just like touch on really quickly, which is if you're
Speaker 1: always on or available. Like Brad my husband, when he
Speaker 1: was working at a job that had a slack it
Speaker 1: was hell because that thing would go off all the
Speaker 1: time and it was just constant, constant, constant. It was
Speaker 1: worse than text messaging. It was like, yeah, all the time.
Speaker 1: I am so grateful and thankful that I'm not in
Speaker 1: a job that makes me. I mean, obviously we've got
Speaker 1: texts and we've got email and our jobs like when
Speaker 1: we're there, we're there, But fuck a slack man, Like
Speaker 1: that's just a slack crazy to me, Like that is bumananas.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would hidink, you know.
Speaker 3: And I think what's interesting about going through this history
Speaker 3: that we just did is like all of us feeling
Speaker 3: like there's no balance and it's this impossible thing.
Speaker 4: It's like not our fault, like because.
Speaker 3: Our society isn't literally set up, it's stacked against us.
Speaker 3: So that's why it's so fucking hard, and that's why
Speaker 3: we all feel like we're failing all the time. So yeah,
Speaker 3: you're you're not alone. You're not alone in how you
Speaker 3: feel about that. And I think you know. I'm remembering
Speaker 3: too when you were talking about the tech stuff and
Speaker 3: slack And I remember at one point calling my manager
Speaker 3: and it was like after six pm or something, and
Speaker 3: he answered the call and like answered my question. He
Speaker 3: was like, oh, and by the way, like just for
Speaker 3: the future, like I'm turning my phone off at six
Speaker 3: pm every day, like I'm just not going to look
Speaker 3: like I'm not going to be available, Like I'm just
Speaker 3: trying to like be better about being present for the
Speaker 3: family during dinner time.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. And you were like you're fired.
Speaker 3: No, But I almost immediately felt a little embarrassed because
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, my god, that's never even occurred
Speaker 3: to me that.
Speaker 4: I could do that. I can do that, yeah, And
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 3: Like that's amazing, thank you, And I'm going to try
Speaker 3: to do the same. And so it's not all. It
Speaker 3: doesn't happen all the time. It doesn't work all the time,
Speaker 3: but especially in the slow seasons, like I really try
Speaker 3: between the hours of like five and eight, when dinner
Speaker 3: and homework and you know, bedtime and all that shit
Speaker 3: is happening, that I like leave my phone in the
Speaker 3: other room, yeah, you know, to try to do that
Speaker 3: and just like be present with the family, you know,
Speaker 3: and like so it's like little things like that. And
Speaker 3: then I think it's also because I think Amanda brought
Speaker 3: this up too, is like the guilt is like, let
Speaker 3: that shit go. Let that shit girl go. Girl, We're
Speaker 3: all doing our best. That's a hard yeah, try.
Speaker 4: It's a hard one.
Speaker 3: But when you catch yourself feeling guilty, I don't know,
Speaker 3: maybe pretend you're like your own best friend, Like what
Speaker 3: would you say to your best friend who was feeling
Speaker 3: guilty in that moment? Would you tell them to be like, yeah, girl,
Speaker 3: you feel guilty.
Speaker 1: You fucked up.
Speaker 3: No, you probably would be like, let that shit go.
Speaker 3: You're doing great. Why are you being so hard on yourself?
Speaker 3: Why are you being so critical on yourself?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, put yourself in your best friend's shoes or
Speaker 3: call your fucking best friend.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so they can tell you.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe they'll tell you like, yeah, you're working too much,
Speaker 1: you have to slow down, Like, so maybe they will
Speaker 1: tell you. Maybe they'll tell you like, yeah, you're not
Speaker 1: spending enough time with your partner or husband, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not spending enough time with your friends.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: But at least then you're not just in your head
Speaker 1: shitting on yourself exactly. Then you're getting actual feedback from
Speaker 1: people that are in your life instead of just your head.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And if you feel and your partner too, you know,
Speaker 3: if it's it's sometimes it's sitting down with your partner
Speaker 3: and going like I need help, I need to like
Speaker 3: top this out, Like how do I create more space
Speaker 3: for our family or for our personal life, or like
Speaker 3: how do we figure out how to go on a trip,
Speaker 3: like you know, and like delegate, you don't have to
Speaker 3: do this shit alone. That's why we have people. That's
Speaker 3: why we have loved ones, you know, lean on them.
Speaker 1: I mean, we didn't even get into that. I hope, Amanda,
Speaker 1: that your partner is helping you, because if they that's
Speaker 1: another podcast, that's another podcast.
Speaker 2: More better.
Speaker 4: I feel? How do you feel?
Speaker 2: I feel?
Speaker 1: A little more better about this, But.
Speaker 3: It's this one is like one that's gonna probably sit
Speaker 3: with me tomorrow.
Speaker 1: It brings a lot of stuff up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it brings a lot of stuff up. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: we're not alone. We all feel it.
Speaker 3: We're all going through it, and just try to be
Speaker 3: kind to yourself.
Speaker 1: And remember you can have it all, just not all
Speaker 1: at once.
Speaker 4: I love that. That's my new motto in life.
Speaker 1: Yeah man, Okay, all right, guys, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 4: Keep sending us voice notes, talk a lot more uh shit.
Speaker 1: And also there's gonna be some golden nuggets of wisdom
Speaker 1: in there. I'm sure sure of it. I'm just sure
Speaker 1: of it. Okay, see next week, Bye bye.
Speaker 2: More Better.
Speaker 1: Do you have something you'd like to be more better
Speaker 1: at that you want us to talk about in a
Speaker 1: future episode.
Speaker 3: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 3: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
Speaker 1: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
Speaker 1: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's
Speaker 1: Mike Utura podcast Network, hosted by me, Stephanie Viatriz and
Speaker 1: Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid and
Speaker 1: Sophie Spencer Zagos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and
Speaker 1: Leo Klem at Wvsound. This episode was edited by Isis
Speaker 1: Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music
Speaker 1: by Madison Davenport and Halo Boy.
Speaker 3: Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by
Speaker 3: David Avolos.
Speaker 4: For more podcasts from iHeart.
Speaker 3: Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 3: to your favorite shows Sweet Sagas.
Speaker 1: Bye Oh No, Pokitomas mahor