1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: Three hundred and fifty BC. Aristotle first explores the notion 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 1: of balancing work and leisure in his work First of 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: All Aristotle, three fifty BC. I'm sure somebody else explored it, 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: they just didn't write it down. Okay, I don't want 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 1: to be like aristantle is the first one. I was 6 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:18,600 Speaker 1: the one who knew how to write. There was probably 7 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: a sewing circle where women were talking about the ship 8 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: because we've had to do it forever, right. 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 2: More better, More more better. 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: Hey, welcome to More Better, a podcast where we do 11 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: stuff to try to get better. Me not remembering how 12 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: to do the intro? 13 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 3: Whoo really out the gate better intros? 14 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, that's most Marrow and that's Stephanie Beatrice and 15 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: here we are. Welcome back to our podcast where we 16 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,559 Speaker 1: try to get a little more better every day. Hopefully 17 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: that's why you're here, and not to hear me talk 18 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: about Real housewives like last week, although inevitably it will 19 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: come up. 20 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 4: I mean, it is what it is. 21 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 5: You know. 22 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,680 Speaker 4: You got to give the people what they want. 23 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it is what it is. 24 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 4: How are you? 25 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm pretty good. I'm tired, but I'm good. 26 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 3: I'm going home soon, excited to see my family and 27 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 3: get some family time in the midst of this marathon 28 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,759 Speaker 3: that is our job. 29 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: But it's great. 30 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 4: How are you. 31 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: I'm okay. Yeah. I did some adr for Twisted Metal ooh, 32 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: and I saw some of it and. 33 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 4: It was good. It looks so good. 34 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: The lighting just looks exciting, stunning. And the car I 35 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: saw one of the car chases it see it looks 36 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: it looks I can't even begin to describe it to you. 37 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: I mean, it looks absolutely out of it looks like 38 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: it's I don't even know how to say. I don't 39 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: know what to say. There's like ten cars they're all 40 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,519 Speaker 1: racing down this like, oh, it's crazy, it's crazy, it's huge. 41 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 4: It looks like a. 42 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: Movie or something. 43 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 3: I'm so excited. Does that How long did like that 44 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 3: car chase take? Was it a full day? 45 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: Was it more than a day? 46 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 4: Oh no, no, there was more that. 47 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: A lot of it was the second unit with the 48 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: stunt drivers because it's so dangerous and multiple cars get wrecked. Yeah, 49 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: spoiler alert. But our stuff took I think our stuff 50 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,239 Speaker 1: took like two days to shoot, and the scenes beforehand 51 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: took like a week whatever. And then the actual car, 52 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: the stuff inside the cars took like a couple of days, 53 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 1: I think. 54 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. 55 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 3: My my parents when they came to Atlanta for Thanksgiving, 56 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 3: they visited set, and my mom's been on set a 57 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 3: bit more than my dad, And it's like the same thing. 58 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 3: Every time someone's on a set for the first time, 59 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 3: they're just blown away by, like how long it takes 60 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 3: to shoot a thing? 61 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 2: Fun. 62 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 3: And the first thing my dad asked me, he was like, Okay, 63 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 3: when that scene that I just saw you guys do 64 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 3: over and over again that you're not even done with, 65 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 3: like I'm going to leave, You're not, You're still doing it. 66 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 3: He was like, how long will that scene be in 67 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 3: the episode? And I was like a minute and a half, 68 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 3: maybe maybe two minutes because it's kind of a long scene. 69 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 3: And he was just like wow, yeah, I was like yeah. Like, 70 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 3: and action sequences, I feel like are the biggest, most 71 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 3: mind blowing example of that, because you will spend days 72 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 3: on these action sequences. 73 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 4: That are a minute long. 74 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, it's like hours and hours and hours and 75 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 3: hours and hours. 76 00:03:59,040 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: Of work for. 77 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 4: A second. 78 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's for like a week for a thirty minute episode. 79 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: You know, it's just like it's an incredible amount of work, an. 80 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 4: Incredible amount of work. 81 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: And it's really any TV show though, you know it's like, yeah, 82 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: it's every TV show. Yeah, I think about that would 83 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,919 Speaker 1: it and how and like you know those Game of 84 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: Throne battle scenes, like oh my god, that they would 85 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: difference diverce like as I've been. I watched the first 86 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,039 Speaker 1: season and I was like, oh my god, the way 87 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 1: that they shoot this, this is like so intense. The 88 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 1: camera setups must just be like because they're all at 89 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: this weird have you watched it? 90 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 4: I haven't watched it. 91 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: They're at this weird cubicle where it's like a four 92 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: side it's one room, and it's they all share one 93 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: large desk with their cubicle dividers and there's parts of 94 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: the dividers that they can slide up and down. So 95 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: like as they do cross shooting like coverage, it's just 96 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 1: like for one scene, if more than two people talk, 97 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: it's just got be like like logistically and multiple time. 98 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: I don't even know how long it would take. Anyway, 99 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: if you guys are listening, I really want to be 100 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: on that show because I'm sure Ben Stiller listens to 101 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: this podcast. 102 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, so hit us up, Ben, hit us up, Ben, 103 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 3: More Better. 104 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: What are we talking about this week? Melissa? 105 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 3: This week we have another listener question. 106 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 4: We've got a voice no. 107 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: If you need help with something, by the way, in 108 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: your life and you have a suggestion for a future 109 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: episode or something, you can email us at More Better 110 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: pod at gmail dot com and you can include a 111 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: voice note and it'll be featured on the pod. Okay, 112 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:44,919 Speaker 1: roll it. 113 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 6: Hello, Melissa, Hello Stephanie. I'm so excited to be sending 114 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 6: you all this voice note, and to everybody at More Better, 115 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 6: thank you all so much for creating this podcast. There 116 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 6: have been so many times that you all have talked 117 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 6: about something or how you felt about something, or something 118 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 6: that you've learned that I have been able to identify 119 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 6: with so deeply, and it has been such a comfort 120 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,480 Speaker 6: to know that I'm not the only one who is 121 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 6: struggling with these things, and that I'm not maybe not 122 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 6: doing as bad in my life as I think I am, 123 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 6: because we are our own worst critics a lot of 124 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 6: the time. And so thank you all so much for 125 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 6: being so open and vulnerable and sharing your wisdom with us, 126 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 6: because it is making a difference. I know it's made 127 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 6: such a big difference in my own life and how 128 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 6: I feel about what I'm doing and just my own 129 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 6: self worth and self esteem and self confidence, and so 130 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 6: thank you. 131 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: So I would love to know. 132 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 6: This is my question for you all, is how have 133 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 6: you created a work life balance in your own lives 134 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 6: a little bit of background. So I am a small 135 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 6: business owner, but I also have a two year old daughter, 136 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 6: I am married, I have friends, I have other family, 137 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 6: I have other hobbies, and I have been working really 138 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 6: hard to create a semblance of work life balance for 139 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 6: myself this year, and it's been a struggle, and so 140 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 6: I would love to know, just with you all having 141 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 6: the careers that you do, but then also having families, 142 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 6: how have you managed to create a work life balance 143 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 6: to where you don't feel guilty for maybe going to work, 144 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 6: but then you also don't feel guilty for sacrificing your 145 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 6: work to be with your family. So thank you all 146 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 6: so much. And y'all are wonderful and fabulous, and I 147 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 6: know you love to hear this, but Broke nine nine 148 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 6: is my comfort show right now, and so. 149 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 4: You all are just absolutely awesome. 150 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 6: So keep doing what you're doing, and I can't wait 151 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 6: to listen to more of the pod. 152 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 3: Oh my god, Amanda, that made my whole goddamn day, 153 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 3: my week, my year. 154 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: That's so nice, so nice, that's so nice. Thank you, 155 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: really really lovely. Yeah, but you're ship out of luck because. 156 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 5: There is no such thing. There is no such things, 157 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 5: And we're gonna tell you. I think, like, let's let's discuss, 158 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 5: first of all, what you think that means? Molso, like, 159 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 5: what what do you think? First of all, she's doing 160 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 5: the most, like the most. She's her own business, she's 161 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 5: a kid, she's marrying, she's friends, she's hobbies, Like, yeah, 162 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 5: she's doing the most, but also like we are doing 163 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 5: the most as well, Like I don't know anybody that's 164 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 5: not doing the most. 165 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, first of all, congratulations and Samanda on being a 166 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 3: small business owner. That is no small feat and it 167 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:08,959 Speaker 3: is extremely admirable and incredible. So just take a moment 168 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,079 Speaker 3: to be proud of yourself for that accomplishment because we 169 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 3: read huge and yeah, I think, I mean, I don't 170 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 3: know anyone who has it has this figured out, you know. 171 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 3: I Our our jobs are sort of all consuming when 172 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 3: they're happening when we're on set, and so my my 173 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 3: personal version of work life balance, I think, you know, 174 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 3: looks a little different some than some other people. Because 175 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 3: of the nature of our job. When I'm on set, 176 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 3: in the middle of shooting a show like I currently 177 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 3: am right now, there are a lot of things that 178 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 3: have to fall by the wayside. Uh, And I just 179 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 3: have to accept that. I have to accept that life 180 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 3: is going to be a little bit messier, that there's 181 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 3: going to be mistakes, that there's going to be you know, Uh, 182 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 3: we we've lost two pairs of glasses of my sons 183 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,839 Speaker 3: in the last three weeks. We can't find them. We 184 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 3: don't know where they are. He's eight years old. It's 185 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 3: you know, he needs a lot of help remembering them. 186 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 3: And so it just is what it is. I ordered 187 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 3: new fucking glasses. I didn't complain, I didn't get upset 188 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 3: about it. I just ordered new fucking glasses. 189 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 4: And I'm just like, let's let's keep it moving. Let's 190 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 4: keep it moving. 191 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 3: You know. 192 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:25,719 Speaker 4: My close friends. 193 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 3: Understand that I'm not as available when I'm in the 194 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 3: middle of shooting a show, and I try to be 195 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 3: conscious of that as soon as the show wraps, to 196 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 3: like reconnect with people and be like, hey, I'm back, I. 197 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 4: Have more time. 198 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 3: What's going on, let's schedule a lunch date, let's you know, 199 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 3: because like those things have to fall by the wayside 200 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 3: so that I can just do my job and focus 201 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 3: all of my extra energy and time on my family. 202 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 3: And then when I have a little more free time, 203 00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 3: I get to the other things. And also, like I've 204 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 3: gotten better about trying to do self care when I'm 205 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 3: in production as well, because I know it's good for 206 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 3: my mentals and like good for my overall being and 207 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 3: I'm a better mom and partner and person and actor 208 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 3: if I'm also taking care of myself, right, But like 209 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 3: I also know that's the limit. Like family, work, self care, 210 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 3: that's about all that can happen during production. And then 211 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 3: when we have these like times in between, when I'm 212 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 3: not on set, when things are slower, that's when I 213 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 3: kind of shift my energy and focus into life and 214 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 3: I try to plan trips, I try to plan dinners, 215 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 3: I try to see friends, I you know, work out more, 216 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 3: exercise more, like do things that are good for me more, 217 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 3: and you know, I try to like just shift more 218 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 3: energy into those things and for me that at the 219 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 3: end of the year that ends up being its own 220 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 3: version of balance, right, And I don't know what kind 221 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 3: of business you have, Amanda, but you know, I think 222 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 3: in general most businesses have busy seasons and slower seasons. Again, 223 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 3: I don't I don't know what your business is, so 224 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 3: hopefully this applies to you. But I you know, we 225 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,199 Speaker 3: all know when it's on, it's on, and we can't 226 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 3: feel guilty about the things that have to fall by 227 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 3: the wayside so that we can get the job done 228 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 3: and still be like a decent human being throughout the process, right, 229 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 3: And then when things slow down and we come up 230 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 3: for air, then it's like, Okay, well, now I got 231 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 3: to fill my cup. Like I've got to see the 232 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 3: people that make me feel good. I've got to you know, 233 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 3: maybe do a few extra self carry things, spend time 234 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,400 Speaker 3: and might spend the extra time with my partner, spend 235 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 3: extra time with my kids. You know, when I was 236 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 3: home for Christmas and I had two weeks off from set, 237 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,839 Speaker 3: I made sure to schedule time to like do things 238 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,559 Speaker 3: individually with my kids. So like I had a day 239 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 3: with Enzo and I had a day with Axel, and like, 240 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 3: you know, try to be conscious of just like making 241 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,079 Speaker 3: sure I fill my cup, but I fill their cups. 242 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 3: You know what I mean to like get us to 243 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 3: the next slow period. 244 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 1: I guess your favorite day? Who's your favorite? Just kidding? 245 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 3: Well, since I'm already saving up for their future therapy appointments, 246 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 3: let me just say. 247 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 4: I mean that's where I've kind of it's been. You know. 248 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 3: I think it's an ever evolving process for me, and 249 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,560 Speaker 3: I'm always kind of like trying to check in of 250 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 3: like okay, like especially when I start to feel burnt out, 251 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 3: like what next time? 252 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 4: What can I do so that I don't get to 253 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 4: this point? 254 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think that that's helpful too, just 255 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,680 Speaker 3: like the continuous check in with yourself with your partner, 256 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 3: you know. 257 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 1: But it's it's hard. It's really hard work life balance. 258 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's why we talk about it 259 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 3: so much in society. 260 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I wrote down something that my own 261 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: life coach, Lena Florio said to me, which is, you 262 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: can have it all, just not all at once. Oh yeah, 263 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: and I think about that all the time. 264 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 4: It's true. 265 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: You can have it all. You can have a flourishing career, 266 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: you can have a romantic relationship with your partner, you 267 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 1: can have kids that you're close to and love you. 268 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: You can be involved in your community. You can be 269 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: you know, spending time on yourself and filling your own cup. 270 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: But you can't have that all at once. No, that's 271 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: too many things. Babe likes too many things. Nine hours 272 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 1: in the day, there's just not And when people are 273 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: like you have as many hours in the day as Beyonce, 274 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 1: it's not true, no, because I don't have fifty and 275 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: I don't have you know, and like even when Beyonce 276 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 1: is doing work, she can't always be with her kids. 277 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 2: You know. 278 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: Like the thing is, you can have it all, but 279 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: you can't have it all at once. And so one 280 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,880 Speaker 1: of the hard things about that is acknowledging that because 281 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: it feels like such a well, it feels like something's 282 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: being stolen from you. Yeah, you know, when I have 283 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: to do sixteen hour days at work, and I'm sure 284 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: when you're pulling, you know, all nighters are all we are, 285 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: you know, not taking days off or whatever. Because you're 286 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 1: a small business owner. It's just like constant, right, So 287 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: like you feel sometimes probably like this is stealing from 288 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: my time with my family, This is stealing from my 289 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 1: time with me, even though the whole point of doing 290 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: it is so that you have a future for your family, right, 291 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: and so like that's a really hard thing to kind 292 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: of come to terms. And so I think one of 293 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: the things that I try to do is like reframe 294 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 1: it in my mind, which is like this isn't forever, right, 295 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: Like it's not gonna be like you said, like there's 296 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: high seasons and low seasons, meaning sometimes things are really 297 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: really really busy and sometimes they're less busy. Yeah, right, 298 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: And it's taking the less busy time and going what 299 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: am I going to do with this time? And not 300 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 1: am I gonna how am I gonna cram it full more? 301 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 1: How am I going to use it to my two 302 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: to fill me up, to fill my family up, to 303 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: fill up you know. I took a parenting course online. 304 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: Oh doctor Ciggy, uh. 305 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 4: Oh, I love doctor Sigi. I love doctor Ciggy. 306 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: And she was like, you know, your kid doesn't need 307 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: all the hours in the day, but they do need 308 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: a small amount of concentrated time with you and they 309 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: need to hear you acknowledge it. And so she said 310 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 1: something like, you know, make sure your kids says make 311 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 1: sure you say to your kid, wow, I'm so thank 312 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,720 Speaker 1: you so much for spending this special time with just 313 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,919 Speaker 1: me and you. I really loved you know, reading this 314 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 1: book or eating dinner with you or whatever that small 315 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 1: amount of like even if it's just like helping them 316 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,119 Speaker 1: get dressed in the morning, like saying to them like, 317 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 1: thank you so much for letting me witness you pick 318 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,720 Speaker 1: out your clothes this morning. You know, like that was 319 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,159 Speaker 1: so cool. I really love your sense of fashion. It's like, 320 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 1: it really means a lot to me that you want 321 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 1: to be around me and that you want to spend 322 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: some time with me. I love our special time together. 323 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: And I say that kind of stuff to Raws all 324 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: the time, even when I don't get to see her 325 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 1: very much, because at least then she knows and she's 326 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 1: hearing me say I love our special time together, even 327 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: if it's five minutes. Yeah, you know, even if it's 328 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 1: one episode of you know, Spidey and his amazing friends, 329 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: even if I don't have the energy to you know, 330 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 1: do some kind of like craft with her or something. 331 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,920 Speaker 1: So that's another thing I think the like happens too. 332 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: You go like, oh god, I'm not with my kid, 333 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: and like they're not getting any like that. I see 334 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: all these moms and they're like, man, just sorrying and 335 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: they're all doing these things and it's like, okay, well, 336 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,159 Speaker 1: like I don't have the energy and time to do 337 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,400 Speaker 1: that all the time. Sometimes all I can give her 338 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 1: is thirty minutes of Spidy and his amazing friends, you know, like, yeah, 339 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: that's what I got today, and like we're gonna watch 340 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: that together, and I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna 341 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 1: say to you when it's over, like thank you so much. 342 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: I think Spidey's so funny, Like I love Ghost Spider 343 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, like connect with them over the thing. 344 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:39,639 Speaker 1: It's it's much more about like the quality of the time, 345 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 1: meaning like the connection that you have with your kid, 346 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: or the connection that you have with your partner, or 347 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 1: the connection that you have with your friends. I remember 348 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: reading this article in the Time and the New York Times. 349 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: It was like just call your friend, like call them 350 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: randomly and like don't spend more than like ten minutes 351 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 1: on the phone with them, but just like chat with 352 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: them so that you can reconnect with them and like 353 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 1: see them for a minute. And that's it. It doesn't 354 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,400 Speaker 1: have to be like we planned a vacation to Mexico, 355 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,880 Speaker 1: doesn't you know. It can just be you know, Hey, 356 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 1: what's up. What's going on? 357 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 4: You know, thinking about you? 358 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's so true. 359 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 4: And I love that advice. 360 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 3: When I was becoming a mom, my good friend Courtney 361 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 3: gave me the good the same good advice. Courtney is 362 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 3: like a high level pr exec at a big studio 363 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 3: and she travels a lot for work, and I was 364 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 3: freaking out about becoming a mom and being on set 365 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 3: all the time and being away from my kid, and 366 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 3: she was like, Melissa, it's quality over quantity, Like totally, 367 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 3: that's it. You just have to make sure that you 368 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 3: are making quality time happen no matter how long or 369 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 3: short it is. As long as your kid has that, like, 370 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 3: they'll know that they're loved and they know that you're 371 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 3: there for them, you know. 372 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 1: And I know, just a lot of freedom and like 373 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,679 Speaker 1: giving up this idea that you're supposed to do it 374 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,239 Speaker 1: a certain way, yeah, that you're supposed to spend there, 375 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 1: And I'm saying this my right way, yeah right, Like 376 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 1: I'm saying this to myself. There is a lot of 377 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: freedom in going like, this is my family and this 378 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,640 Speaker 1: is my kids, my career, and I'm going to try 379 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: to figure out the way that this works for me. 380 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: And I can have it all. I just can't have 381 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 1: it all at once. 382 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that? 383 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: Is that good? 384 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 3: It's so good, It's so good. 385 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: I want to talk about the history of work life 386 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 1: balance as a concept because like we all everybody hears 387 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 1: about it, right, like, well you got to buy a 388 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 1: work life balance, but like, what the fuck is that? 389 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 4: Like, yeah, who originally thought it up? 390 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 5: Did? 391 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 1: Where did the idea come from? 392 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 2: Right? 393 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: Because like you know, when they were freaking kings and 394 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:51,400 Speaker 1: queens and surfs, there wasn't no one was. Like people 395 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: weren't in like medieval England being wing I want to 396 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 1: work my balance. 397 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 3: I mean maybe they were. Maybe we don't know. And 398 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 3: so how did we get here? How did we get here? 399 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 1: Three hundred and fifty BC. Aristotle first explores the notion 400 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:09,640 Speaker 1: of balancing work and leisure in his works Nicomackian Ethics 401 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,360 Speaker 1: and Politics. First of all, Aristotle three fifty BC. I'm 402 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,479 Speaker 1: sure somebody else explored it. They just didn't write it down, Okay, 403 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 1: I don't want to be like Aristotle is the first one. 404 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:26,120 Speaker 1: Some ladies somewhere were somebody's somewhere, you know, write down. 405 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: There was the one who knew how to write showing 406 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: circle where women were talking about the shit because we've 407 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: had to do it forever right. Fifteen thirty six, with 408 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 1: the publication of Institutes of the Christian Religion, French theologian 409 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,639 Speaker 1: John Calvin helped create the concept that we know today 410 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,160 Speaker 1: as the Protestant work ethic. The gist God has predetermined 411 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,520 Speaker 1: who's going to heaven and who's not, and there's really 412 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 1: nothing you could do to change your outcome. However, there 413 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: are outward signs of who's who God's chosen or elected 414 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: people are. And one of those signs is being successful 415 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 1: in business alone. 416 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 4: A fuck off. 417 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,160 Speaker 1: Oh, that's so absolutely deranged. I just want to say. 418 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 1: The idea that, first of all, you know, not to 419 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 1: get into religion too much here or not, but the 420 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 1: idea that someone has predetermined your life and where you're 421 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 1: going to end up is just so absolutely bonkers. Banana 422 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: grams just come on. You don't even know what's going 423 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: to happen tomorrow. 424 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,320 Speaker 3: Like yeah, and then it's like nothing matters if that's 425 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:39,120 Speaker 3: the case, so not nothing, should we purge? 426 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 5: Should we work like anyway? 427 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 1: Like yeah? Also, like the idea that like your success 428 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: in business somehow that your idea like The idea that somehow, 429 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: like the the the the amount of money that you 430 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 1: have is directly related to your goodness as a human 431 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: being is just absolutely ridunculous. And we all know that's 432 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 1: true because we can look at American's politics. 433 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 3: Okay seventeen Also, like Saints like saints, like so, yes, 434 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 3: Saints were poor. Yeah, so like we didn't mean it 435 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 3: when we like appointed these incredible maples. 436 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 1: Saints didn't mean it. 437 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,359 Speaker 3: We didn't mean it because they were not successful in 438 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,199 Speaker 3: business and so obviously they are not chosen like a. 439 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: Guide to bear. I do think some of those saints 440 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: had pr people. Okay, some of them. 441 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:32,119 Speaker 3: It's like why why they ran a very successful campaigns, 442 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,439 Speaker 3: a very tight campaign, a lot of people knocking. 443 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: Also sure that seventeen sixty four the Industrial Revolution. As 444 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: the world became more industrialized, the amount of hours people 445 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 1: spent working beyanda increased. By the mid nineteenth century, i e. 446 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,879 Speaker 1: Around eighteen fifty, the average full time worker in Britain 447 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: clocked in as much as four thousand, five hundred, five 448 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:55,479 Speaker 1: hundred hours per care. Let's talk about this right now, yeah, quickly, 449 00:23:55,600 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: because you know what, the Industrial Revolution great in so 450 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 1: many ways, but I don't know if you've read any 451 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,959 Speaker 1: of the American Girl books, but there was a character 452 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 1: called Samantha, And did you read them when you were 453 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 1: kod I did not know. 454 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 4: I was like, am Belly high Girl? 455 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,119 Speaker 1: Oh my god, well American Girl when it was originally 456 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: owned by the I think it was like a mount 457 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,959 Speaker 1: Pleasant Company or something. These books were. They were so 458 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 1: lovely because they were a fictionalized girl that was like 459 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,640 Speaker 1: ten years old in different eras of the United States. 460 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 1: And the first one, I believe was Kirsten. The second 461 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:41,920 Speaker 1: one was Samantha, and she was like right around, like 462 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 1: right when the automobile was coming into play, like turn 463 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 1: of the century. 464 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 4: And in one of. 465 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: The books she there's a servant girl named Nelly who 466 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 1: works I believe works for them, but in Samantha learns 467 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 1: a lesson. If you've read these books, and you should 468 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 1: read them to your kids as when they're little, because 469 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,879 Speaker 1: it's such a great way to introduce history and the 470 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 1: difference in classes in society. Samantha's rich and Nellie's not, 471 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,919 Speaker 1: and she's a servant girl. And Samantha does this speech 472 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,120 Speaker 1: for school about how the industrial revolution is so great 473 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 1: because everyone can get things and like, you know, you 474 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: can get thread and fabric and everyone can access all 475 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 1: these things. And then she reads her little speech out 476 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,880 Speaker 1: loud to Nelly, and Nelly's like quiet. Samantha's like, well, 477 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 1: what's wrong, And Nellie's like, well, the reason the thread 478 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,360 Speaker 1: is so cheap is because all of us were children 479 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:38,120 Speaker 1: in the factories, like working, you know, sixteen hour days, 480 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: and we had to keep our hair short because you 481 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,919 Speaker 1: could get your hair cut in the machine. And I 482 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,879 Speaker 1: saw one girl who's haircutt in the machine. She was 483 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,480 Speaker 1: covered in blood. And you couldn't wear shoes because you 484 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,719 Speaker 1: had to scramble over the machines really quick. I mean, 485 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: it was I just think I'd like, there's no there's 486 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 1: no world in which there's no world in which this was. 487 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 1: The Industrial Revolution was great in many ways, however, fuck okay, well, 488 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 1: well we fucked it up, like we fuck everything else up. 489 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,679 Speaker 1: Because it should have made things easier, it should have 490 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: made people. It did for some people work less. 491 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,360 Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean? In theory? But what 492 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,479 Speaker 4: it all? What it just? 493 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:19,680 Speaker 3: I think it created rabid consumerism, you know, also output and. 494 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, but on the other hand, it created a way 495 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,160 Speaker 1: for people to like access money, that maybe never ever 496 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 1: had the chance before too, So do we have the answers? 497 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: We don't, Okay, we don't. Eighteen fifty to nineteen fifty, 498 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 1: the workers rights era. This is when people started being like, 499 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 1: maybe we shouldn't be working in a factory that could 500 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 1: burn down around us and trap us all inside. 501 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, and maybe we should have some hours to ourselves. 502 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. The five day work week was introduced, which is 503 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: our Monday through Friday, the advent of paid annual holiday entitlements. 504 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 1: As a result, the typical working year for full time 505 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,199 Speaker 1: employed workers fell to less than two thousand hours in 506 00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 1: the post Second World War era. Then in the nineteenth seventies, 507 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,120 Speaker 1: the term work life balance was coined in the UK. 508 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: In the late seventies as part of the feminist movements. 509 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 1: Shot suppresh shock game. Well, well, well, and here it 510 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 1: is everybody. Now, why do we think that is? Uh, 511 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 1: we could sit here and talk about it for a 512 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,640 Speaker 1: long long time, but I'm gonna guess it's because women 513 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 1: started wanting to go into the workforce in a bigger, 514 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: broader way, and that advent of birth control and also 515 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 1: this you know, historical role in the family as being 516 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 1: the main caretaker, so like, how do you do all 517 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,560 Speaker 1: of those things right? Right? 518 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, you need time back. 519 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 1: So like today, the tech revolution, cell phones, social media, 520 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: work from home, et cetera, led to a culture of 521 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 1: being always on or available. Work life balance becomes vital 522 00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: to everyone and it's in the zeitgeist cause lots of 523 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: us lack it. So there's something that I want to 524 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: just like touch on really quickly, which is if you're 525 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 1: always on or available. Like Brad my husband, when he 526 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 1: was working at a job that had a slack it 527 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 1: was hell because that thing would go off all the 528 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: time and it was just constant, constant, constant. It was 529 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,159 Speaker 1: worse than text messaging. It was like, yeah, all the time. 530 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: I am so grateful and thankful that I'm not in 531 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 1: a job that makes me. I mean, obviously we've got 532 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 1: texts and we've got email and our jobs like when 533 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 1: we're there, we're there, But fuck a slack man, Like 534 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:49,960 Speaker 1: that's just a slack crazy to me, Like that is bumananas. 535 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,239 Speaker 4: Yeah, I would hidink, you know. 536 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,959 Speaker 3: And I think what's interesting about going through this history 537 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 3: that we just did is like all of us feeling 538 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 3: like there's no balance and it's this impossible thing. 539 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 4: It's like not our fault, like because. 540 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 3: Our society isn't literally set up, it's stacked against us. 541 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 3: So that's why it's so fucking hard, and that's why 542 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 3: we all feel like we're failing all the time. So yeah, 543 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 3: you're you're not alone. You're not alone in how you 544 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 3: feel about that. And I think you know. I'm remembering 545 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 3: too when you were talking about the tech stuff and 546 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 3: slack And I remember at one point calling my manager 547 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 3: and it was like after six pm or something, and 548 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 3: he answered the call and like answered my question. He 549 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,040 Speaker 3: was like, oh, and by the way, like just for 550 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 3: the future, like I'm turning my phone off at six 551 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,320 Speaker 3: pm every day, like I'm just not going to look 552 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 3: like I'm not going to be available, Like I'm just 553 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,240 Speaker 3: trying to like be better about being present for the 554 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 3: family during dinner time. 555 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. And you were like you're fired. 556 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 3: No, But I almost immediately felt a little embarrassed because 557 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,719 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, my god, that's never even occurred 558 00:29:58,720 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 3: to me that. 559 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,240 Speaker 4: I could do that. I can do that, yeah, And 560 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 4: I was. 561 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 3: Like that's amazing, thank you, And I'm going to try 562 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 3: to do the same. And so it's not all. It 563 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 3: doesn't happen all the time. It doesn't work all the time, 564 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 3: but especially in the slow seasons, like I really try 565 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 3: between the hours of like five and eight, when dinner 566 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 3: and homework and you know, bedtime and all that shit 567 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 3: is happening, that I like leave my phone in the 568 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 3: other room, yeah, you know, to try to do that 569 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 3: and just like be present with the family, you know, 570 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,959 Speaker 3: and like so it's like little things like that. And 571 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 3: then I think it's also because I think Amanda brought 572 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 3: this up too, is like the guilt is like, let 573 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 3: that shit go. Let that shit girl go. Girl, We're 574 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 3: all doing our best. That's a hard yeah, try. 575 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:46,960 Speaker 4: It's a hard one. 576 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 3: But when you catch yourself feeling guilty, I don't know, 577 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 3: maybe pretend you're like your own best friend, Like what 578 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 3: would you say to your best friend who was feeling 579 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 3: guilty in that moment? Would you tell them to be like, yeah, girl, 580 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 3: you feel guilty. 581 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: You fucked up. 582 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 3: No, you probably would be like, let that shit go. 583 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,280 Speaker 3: You're doing great. Why are you being so hard on yourself? 584 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 3: Why are you being so critical on yourself? 585 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 2: Right? 586 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 3: Like, yeah, put yourself in your best friend's shoes or 587 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 3: call your fucking best friend. 588 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, so they can tell you. 589 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe they'll tell you like, yeah, you're working too much, 590 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: you have to slow down, Like, so maybe they will 591 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 1: tell you. Maybe they'll tell you like, yeah, you're not 592 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: spending enough time with your partner or husband, Like yeah, 593 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 1: you're not spending enough time with your friends. 594 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:28,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know. 595 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 1: But at least then you're not just in your head 596 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: shitting on yourself exactly. Then you're getting actual feedback from 597 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 1: people that are in your life instead of just your head. 598 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 4: Yeah. 599 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 3: And if you feel and your partner too, you know, 600 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 3: if it's it's sometimes it's sitting down with your partner 601 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 3: and going like I need help, I need to like 602 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 3: top this out, Like how do I create more space 603 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 3: for our family or for our personal life, or like 604 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 3: how do we figure out how to go on a trip, 605 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 3: like you know, and like delegate, you don't have to 606 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 3: do this shit alone. That's why we have people. That's 607 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,880 Speaker 3: why we have loved ones, you know, lean on them. 608 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,600 Speaker 1: I mean, we didn't even get into that. I hope, Amanda, 609 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: that your partner is helping you, because if they that's 610 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: another podcast, that's another podcast. 611 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:20,720 Speaker 2: More better. 612 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 4: I feel? How do you feel? 613 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 2: I feel? 614 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,360 Speaker 1: A little more better about this, But. 615 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 3: It's this one is like one that's gonna probably sit 616 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:31,240 Speaker 3: with me tomorrow. 617 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:32,400 Speaker 1: It brings a lot of stuff up. 618 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, it brings a lot of stuff up. Yeah, but 619 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 4: we're not alone. We all feel it. 620 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,280 Speaker 3: We're all going through it, and just try to be 621 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 3: kind to yourself. 622 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 1: And remember you can have it all, just not all 623 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 1: at once. 624 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,360 Speaker 4: I love that. That's my new motto in life. 625 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 1: Yeah man, Okay, all right, guys, we'll see you next week. 626 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 4: Keep sending us voice notes, talk a lot more uh shit. 627 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 1: And also there's gonna be some golden nuggets of wisdom 628 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,320 Speaker 1: in there. I'm sure sure of it. I'm just sure 629 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: of it. Okay, see next week, Bye bye. 630 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 2: More Better. 631 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 1: Do you have something you'd like to be more better 632 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 1: at that you want us to talk about in a 633 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: future episode. 634 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 3: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried 635 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 3: one of our tips and tricks? 636 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,840 Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at 637 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 1: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you 638 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better 639 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's 640 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 1: Mike Utura podcast Network, hosted by me, Stephanie Viatriz and 641 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid and 642 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: Sophie Spencer Zagos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and 643 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 1: Leo Klem at Wvsound. This episode was edited by Isis 644 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 1: Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music 645 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: by Madison Davenport and Halo Boy. 646 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 3: Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by 647 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 3: David Avolos. 648 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,440 Speaker 4: For more podcasts from iHeart. 649 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,320 Speaker 3: Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen 650 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 3: to your favorite shows Sweet Sagas. 651 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:10,680 Speaker 1: Bye Oh No, Pokitomas mahor