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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type

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Speaker 2: we got it. Tol you here it is Strawberry.

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Speaker 1: Let up, all right, nephew, thank you. Subject. Should I

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Speaker 1: give this man a second chance? Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm

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Speaker 1: thirty three, and I'm having a hard time dating black men.

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Speaker 1: I'm running into the wrong one, so I won't say

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Speaker 1: that all black men are a trip. I was dating

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Speaker 1: a guy that I met on a blind date. He

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Speaker 1: was married to a white woman for four years, and

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Speaker 1: I could see why he's divorced. I shouldn't have kept

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Speaker 1: dating him after our first date. He's very confident and cocky.

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Speaker 1: He brags about working out all of the time, and

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Speaker 1: he loves talking about his two cars, his new small home.

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Speaker 1: The house has nothing to brag about. But I was

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Speaker 1: happy for him and helped him decorate the house. Three

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Speaker 1: months into dating, he wouldn't talk when we went on dates.

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Speaker 1: He said that I overtalk him and it's always mindless conversation.

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Speaker 1: That was quite offensive, but I kept dating him. We

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Speaker 1: started having sex, and I had to limit it to

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Speaker 1: a few days a week because I felt like we

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Speaker 1: shouldn't even be having sex before marriage. He said, that's

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Speaker 1: exactly why black women get left behind, because we have

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Speaker 1: too many hang ups and rules when we're dating. He's

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Speaker 1: also commented on my attitude and basically referred to me

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Speaker 1: as an angry black woman. After a waitress filled a

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Speaker 1: glass of water on me by mistake. I was shocked,

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Speaker 1: but not mad, and I was not rude to that woman.

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Speaker 1: I could back on the time I spent with him,

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Speaker 1: and then he ghosted me. Weeks later, he was dating

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Speaker 1: another woman and he posted her on Facebook. Was jealous

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Speaker 1: because I never got posted, so I called to tell

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Speaker 1: him that. He said he posted her to get my attention.

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Speaker 1: He said he misses me, and he asked if he

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Speaker 1: can get a second chance. I was excited at first,

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Speaker 1: and then I remembered how he treated me. Is it

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Speaker 1: a bad idea to give him a second chance. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's a bad idea. I think you need to reread

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Speaker 1: your own letter that you wrote us so you can

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Speaker 1: really hear what you've said about this man, especially the

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Speaker 1: angry black woman part. This is even more offensive coming

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Speaker 1: from a black man. I'm sure with the stupid stuff

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Speaker 1: that was coming out of his mouth on a regular

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Speaker 1: he gave you plenty of stuff to be angry about.

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Speaker 1: I bet his ex was an angry white woman with him.

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Speaker 1: You got to ask yourself, how has he changed from

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Speaker 1: the first time around, Because you don't post yourself with

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Speaker 1: another woman. If you want to get back with someone,

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Speaker 1: you call her, you apologize, you ask for forgiveness, you

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Speaker 1: come bearing gifts anything other than what he did.

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Speaker 3: I think this guy is immature.

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Speaker 1: I think he's disrespectful, and if you take him back,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be more of the same.

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Speaker 3: He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

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Speaker 4: Steve Well, I agree with you, Shirley. The problem I

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Speaker 4: have with this letter is near everything.

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Speaker 2: Just every line in it. Should I get this man

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Speaker 2: a second chance? Okay?

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Speaker 4: Well let's see if you should. I'm thirty three. I'm

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Speaker 4: having a hard time dating black man. All right, Well,

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Speaker 4: get a white man what's get a Latino man, get

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Speaker 4: an Asian man. Go ahead, go ahead. I don't know

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Speaker 4: what y'all think. Fitna happened? We are all the same, Hey,

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Speaker 4: we the same? But go ahead and try it.

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Speaker 2: I'm running it. I'm running into the wrong one.

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Speaker 4: So I won't say that all black men on trip

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Speaker 4: you attract the wrong one, and you picked the wrong one.

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Speaker 4: I was dating a guy I met on a blind date.

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Speaker 4: He was married to a white woman for four years,

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Speaker 4: and I could see why he's divorced. So you having

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Speaker 4: trouble dating black men. H you go get a black

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Speaker 4: man that's having trouble dating black women. So he's married

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Speaker 4: to a white woman, and you thought, well, since he

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Speaker 4: married a white woman, let me give it a shout.

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Speaker 4: What what was your plan was you getting? Was you

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Speaker 4: gonna act more white?

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Speaker 3: What? What?

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Speaker 4: What was what was the thought process here? I'm just

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Speaker 4: trying to figure out what what what this got to

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Speaker 4: do with anything? I shouldn't have kept dating him after

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Speaker 4: that first date? Well why ain't you stopped?

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Speaker 2: See? I told you, I just have a problem with everything.

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Speaker 2: In this letter. He's confident, in cocky.

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Speaker 4: He brags about working out all the time, and he

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Speaker 4: loves talking about his two cars and his new small home. Well,

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Speaker 4: you know, he probably come from one raggedy car, and

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Speaker 4: he probably had an apartment, brun the gym all the time.

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Speaker 4: He cocky talking about working out. And now you got

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Speaker 4: two cars in a little house. Ain't no wrong with time.

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Speaker 4: The house has nothing to brag about. But I was

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Speaker 4: happy for him, and I helped him decorate the house.

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Speaker 4: Oh now you out there decorating a little tiny home. Okay,

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Speaker 4: oh okay, what you want?

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Speaker 1: What?

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Speaker 2: You had to buy one pair of curtain? That's all? What?

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Speaker 2: What what we do?

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Speaker 4: You just bought one rug and you take your toe,

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Speaker 4: and when you using a toilet, you take your toe

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Speaker 4: and you start cooking, you take your toe and you

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Speaker 4: slide the rug over in front of the stove. And

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Speaker 4: then when you go sit on the toilet, you slide

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Speaker 4: the rug back in front of the toilet. That's how

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Speaker 4: you decorate a tiny home. You can save money. You

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Speaker 4: ain't got the Bible, you know, one you been one

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Speaker 4: pair of curtains?

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Speaker 2: Doc. Okay, anyway, here we go ahead.

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Speaker 4: And we'll come back and I'll just finish up with

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Speaker 4: what's wrong with.

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Speaker 1: The whole lest all right, all right, we'll have part

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Speaker 1: two of your response to today's Strawberry.

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Speaker 3: Letter Steve at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's title is the subject is should I give this

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Speaker 1: man a second chance?

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Speaker 3: We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 2: Gosh, people, this is Kirk Franklin.

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Speaker 3: Hey, this is Sakka Khan. What's going on? This is

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Speaker 3: your boy Kevin Hart?

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Speaker 2: Hey, what up?

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Speaker 3: This is your boy Chris Brown?

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Speaker 4: What your boy? The Big Snoop Dogg.

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Speaker 1: This is?

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Speaker 2: This is your boy Sandy Entertainer.

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Speaker 1: This is JR.

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Speaker 2: Linda Adam less of, It's DJ Caviln.

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Speaker 3: And you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 4: There's morning shows, and there's the Greatest Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 2: Another one.

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Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 5: If you're a homeowner, you know it took years of saving,

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Speaker 5: planning and hard work to get in the door then

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Speaker 5: make that house a home. Now, all that effort has

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Speaker 5: built something hugely valuable, equity. It's the portion of your

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Speaker 5: homes you truly own that can be tapped to fun

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is should I give this man a second chance?

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Speaker 4: Well, since I started this letter, I found nothing redeeming

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Speaker 4: in this letter, So let's just go through it real

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Speaker 4: quickly and to get to the end.

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Speaker 2: Should you just give him a second chance? Thirty three?

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Speaker 4: You're having a hard time dating black men, Okay, I said, so, well,

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Speaker 4: go get another one, white Latino Asian.

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Speaker 2: Just go get another I won't say that all black men.

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Speaker 4: In the trip, I was dating a guy met on

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Speaker 4: the black He was married to a white woman for

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Speaker 4: four years, and I can see why he's divorced. Oh okay,

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Speaker 4: So since you having trouble dating black men, you decided

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Speaker 4: to date another black man that didn't like black women.

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Speaker 2: And that's not that. Maybe he found love in this

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Speaker 2: white lady. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: You can find love anywhere. I guess so, but I

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Speaker 4: don't know why you put this in the letter. So okay,

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Speaker 4: nice try Oh I shouldn't have kept dating him after

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Speaker 4: our first date right there?

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Speaker 2: Why did you keep dating him? Then?

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Speaker 4: Okay, he's confident in cocky brags about working out all

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Speaker 4: the time. He loved talking about his two cars and

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Speaker 4: his new small home. He got a tiny house and

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Speaker 4: got two calls. Okay, said, but you you were happy

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Speaker 4: for him, and you helped him decorate the house. Don't

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Speaker 4: take long, don't take long. Tiny houses just need one

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Speaker 4: throw rug and you just pull it with your toe

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Speaker 4: around the house and let it be the rug whoever

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Speaker 4: you like. You you want a rug to get out

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Speaker 4: the bed, just pull it with your toe for about

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Speaker 4: me in front of the toilet, and you can step

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Speaker 4: out on the floor. Be You could take that same

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Speaker 4: toe and drag it in front of the shower, and

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Speaker 4: now you step out on that same rug right after

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Speaker 4: the shower. And then you go in there to cook.

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Speaker 4: Just take your toe and pull that rug right over

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Speaker 4: in front of that stove and start cooking. And then

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Speaker 4: it's time to eat. Take the other toe and drag

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Speaker 4: it by your chair, and now you could eat barefoot

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Speaker 4: by the tape. It's so beautiful. There's a lot of

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Speaker 4: advantages of tiny houses. You're crazy, but you're gonna have

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Speaker 4: to get your toes worked on. You're gonna have to

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Speaker 4: get your toe strip up because that's how you pull

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Speaker 4: that rug around.

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Speaker 3: Work your toes. You need to go to the gym.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that big toe.

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Speaker 4: You got to make that big toe strong because you

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Speaker 4: get a cramp in it if you ain't careful. And anyway,

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Speaker 4: and then I told him, y'all was going out for

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Speaker 4: three months and he wouldn't talk on the dates. He said,

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Speaker 4: you over talked to him in that and with mindless

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Speaker 4: conversation and that was offensive. But you kept dating him

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Speaker 4: and I started having sex with him, and I had

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Speaker 4: to limit it to a few days a week because

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Speaker 4: I felt like we shouldn't even.

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Speaker 2: Be having sex before marriage.

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Speaker 4: Did you tell him that this is just something you

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Speaker 4: came up with, because because he was busy, seemed like

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Speaker 4: you had to cut him down. And then anyway, he said,

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Speaker 4: that's exactly why black women get left behind, because we

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Speaker 4: got too many hang ups and rules when we dating.

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Speaker 4: But he was married to the white lady and he

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Speaker 4: got a divorce, so maybe it's him, Yeah, maybe it's him.

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Speaker 4: He also commented on my attitude and basically referred to

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Speaker 4: me as an angry black woman after a waitress spilled

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Speaker 4: a glass of water on me by mistake. I was shocked,

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Speaker 4: but not mad, and was not rude to that woman.

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Speaker 4: I cut back on the time I spent with him,

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Speaker 4: and then he ghosted me. One weeks later he was

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Speaker 4: dating another one. He put another lady. He put that

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Speaker 4: on Facebook. I got jealous. I called him and I

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Speaker 4: told him, you ain't never post me. He said, he

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Speaker 4: posted her to get my attention. Well, where did he

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Speaker 4: lose your phone number?

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Speaker 1: Exactly?

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Speaker 4: He said, he misses me and asked if he can

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Speaker 4: get a second chance. I was excited at first, and

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Speaker 4: then I remembered how he treated me. Is it a

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Speaker 4: bad idea to give him a second chance? A second

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Speaker 4: chance to do what you did? Not give this man one.

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Speaker 2: Redeeming quality in this thof he cocky and confidence.

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Speaker 4: He brag about working out, He brag about them two cards,

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Speaker 4: bragging about that tiny house. You stitt up in that

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Speaker 4: tiny house, trying to act like it ain't tiny. You

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Speaker 4: can see the TV from everywhere in the house. You

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Speaker 4: in bed, watching TV, cooking, watching the same TV show.

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Speaker 4: Can't put two TVs, and it ain't in no walls

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Speaker 4: in the tiny house. For no two TVs. We all

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Speaker 4: got to watch his one TV. Now you're in the

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Speaker 4: bathroom watching the same TV. I'm over here trying to

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Speaker 4: fight his chicken, and you were in here with that

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Speaker 4: dough crack looking at if you don't shut this though, So, lady,

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Speaker 4: I don't know a second chance to do what right?

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Speaker 4: But you got excited and then you remembered. You remember

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Speaker 4: that it didn't work you. Did you remember that you

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Speaker 4: should have stopped dating him after the first date.

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Speaker 2: Did you remember that he called you an angry black woman?

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Speaker 4: Did you remember that he told you that's why black

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Speaker 4: women get left behind, because y'all got too many rules

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Speaker 4: and hang ups. He gonna bring them same concerns back

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Speaker 4: with it. Stop listen to me, ladies. Stop being tired

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Speaker 4: of being alone. Stop being tired of it makes you desperate,

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Speaker 4: because in your alone time is your repair time.

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Speaker 2: In your alone time is.

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Speaker 4: Your time to receive everything else God have for you

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Speaker 4: that you will blocking by being in the wrong relationship.

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Speaker 4: God got something fun you. You just got to be

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Speaker 4: able to let something go, that's true. And you know

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Speaker 4: the hardest thing to let go of your past?

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Speaker 3: Amen to that, all right?

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Speaker 4: And that's the one thing that will keep you from

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Speaker 4: having a bright future. So going back there and get

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Speaker 4: you a little mister.

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Speaker 3: Leave your comments on today's.

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Speaker 2: Two cars in front of the house. You can't even

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Speaker 2: see that.

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Speaker 1: Living on Instagram and Facebook and Steve Harvey f M.

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Speaker 1: Check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast too. It's

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Speaker 1: on the free iHeartRadio app. You're listening to the Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.