Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,
Speaker 1: welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast. This podcast is
Speaker 1: all about the choices we make and where they lead us.
Speaker 1: So today we're going to talk to someone very exciting.
Speaker 1: My guest is an actress that is literally on two
Speaker 1: of the biggest Netflix shows right now, Monsters The Lyle
Speaker 1: and Eric Meninda Story and Nobody wants this. You know
Speaker 1: her from her roles in popular niptok multiple seasons of
Speaker 1: American Horror Story, but I know her from our days
Speaker 1: on the show. What I like about you? Please welcome
Speaker 1: Leslie Grossman to the I Choose Me Podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy to see you.
Speaker 1: You're not as happy as me. We just saw each other.
Speaker 1: Happenstance brought us together in an airport. I have no
Speaker 1: idea what city we were in, New York, Okay, New York. Great.
Speaker 1: We had been on the same flight and we didn't
Speaker 1: know it.
Speaker 2: But I don't understand how I didn't see you like
Speaker 2: that doesn't actually make any sense And also really the
Speaker 2: scariest thing that can happen happen where I'm standing there
Speaker 2: and I heard my name, Leslie, and you just don't
Speaker 2: know what you're turning into when you turn. And I
Speaker 2: was so happy it was you and I got to
Speaker 2: see Lola who you know that to me like I
Speaker 2: could cry and thinking about it, just because you would
Speaker 2: bring Lola to work when she was an infant and
Speaker 2: then a toddler. And she's the most beautiful baby and
Speaker 2: is now the most like stunning ethereal Like, ah, thank you, Angel,
Speaker 2: I mean she really her whole vibe. She's like an angel.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to see you too.
Speaker 2: She's like a doll face. And you just have you
Speaker 2: have the best girls, the nicest girls. And you know,
Speaker 2: my daughter and your daughter are friendly, which is so
Speaker 2: cute because they totally did that.
Speaker 1: I know your Goldie is friends with my Fiona. They're
Speaker 1: both about the same age. And how did these kids
Speaker 1: these days know each other without anybody else involved, Like,
Speaker 1: I guess it's the social me.
Speaker 2: It is it is. It's My daughter knows every single
Speaker 2: child her age in her grade, freshman in college, the
Speaker 2: year below.
Speaker 1: I mean, like they only in every school, That's right.
Speaker 2: That's what's so crazy is I'm from Los Angeles. I
Speaker 2: knew everyone in my grade and like two kids from
Speaker 2: another school now everybody knows everybody, and I think that
Speaker 2: is horrible, But then I think it's all so cute
Speaker 2: and it's exactly why they're friends. So I aspect I
Speaker 2: support that.
Speaker 1: I can you imagine having to know everybody in all
Speaker 1: the places.
Speaker 2: It's hard enough to be a teenager and to be
Speaker 2: a girl, and then having all that whatever, that's a
Speaker 2: different story for another time. Anyway, it's so nice to
Speaker 2: see you, and it was so fun to get to
Speaker 2: run into you. And you also look like so beautiful
Speaker 2: coming off this like fly. I was like, that's annoying.
Speaker 2: Why do you look so fresh?
Speaker 1: Stop it? I was wearing a big hat, that's why.
Speaker 2: So cute.
Speaker 1: Wait, you dropped a bomb on me right there in
Speaker 1: the airport baggage claim, Yes, and you told me. Can
Speaker 1: I say, you know.
Speaker 2: What's funny is I actually have not spoken about it yet,
Speaker 2: But you can say.
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want to ru ruin
Speaker 1: your moment.
Speaker 2: You guys say, no, I am engaged, which is so fun.
Speaker 1: Now are engaged?
Speaker 2: I am. So that's a wild thing that I didn't
Speaker 2: see coming nothing. I didn't see it coming with this person.
Speaker 2: I just didn't see any of this next chapter of
Speaker 2: my life coming and you know.
Speaker 1: Who does though, Oh my god, I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2: So sweet, thank you. I'm happy for me too. He's
Speaker 2: a wonderful person. And it's funny that this is the
Speaker 2: first time I'm talking about it publicly general and it's
Speaker 2: so funny because I've known you for many many years,
Speaker 2: you know me and my earlier iteration, so that you know,
Speaker 2: we get to see each other how we are now.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a trip to be the age that
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: Yes and me, but this is like the best ever
Speaker 1: start to this amazing second chapter of your life, because
Speaker 1: you're going to be an empty nester before you know it.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's not you were smart because you had
Speaker 2: three kids, laid the pain. You delayed the pain like
Speaker 2: I only have one. It's going to be hard and terrible.
Speaker 2: And you know, it's so annoying to her because I'll
Speaker 2: just like, we'll be having dinner and I'll just stare
Speaker 2: at her and she's like, could you stop staring at me?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm just trying to drink you in.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't imagine having you as a mom.
Speaker 1: I would be laughing all the time. At you, not
Speaker 1: with you, at you.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I think Goldie would agree with that. There
Speaker 2: is a lot laughing at me. That is fair, But
Speaker 2: it's you know what I was thinking. You know, when
Speaker 2: they're little and it's so hard, like you're in it
Speaker 2: and they're like four, and you have so much going
Speaker 2: on and you're so tired, and you're like, I won't
Speaker 2: make it to bedtime today. I pay so much money.
Speaker 2: One hour with Goldie at four years old.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I say that all the time. I
Speaker 1: would rather go back to the diapers and a heartbeat.
Speaker 2: A heart beat and every cliche that everyone says. And
Speaker 2: you know, this is the truth. It's like, what she's
Speaker 2: my daughter's about to be eighteen next month, Like what
Speaker 2: I mean, Look, you sent me that picture. Jenny sent
Speaker 2: me a picture took Goldie over. I mean they were
Speaker 2: I don't know, six months old, nine months. I couldn't
Speaker 2: tell from that picture they were infants. And I remember
Speaker 2: that day that felt like fifteen minutes ago.
Speaker 1: I know, we're just sitting on the couch holding our
Speaker 1: babies on.
Speaker 2: I remember going to your house and it was so
Speaker 2: cute and they were all playing together, and I remember
Speaker 2: Lola was reading to us, like I remember it so clearly.
Speaker 2: And I also remember looking at Lola and being like, god,
Speaker 2: Goldie will when is Goldie ever going to be that age?
Speaker 2: That seems like one hundred years.
Speaker 1: She was like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2: Now Goldie's texting me like I won't be home for
Speaker 2: dinner and who knows when you'll see me.
Speaker 1: I know, it's such a trip. It's such parentoed. Motherhood
Speaker 1: is such a trip.
Speaker 2: That is it is? Anyway, Yes, it is a very
Speaker 2: lucky and wonderful next chapter. But I mean, look, my
Speaker 2: whole life got reorganized around my fiftieth birthday and everything
Speaker 2: got thrown up into the air and it sort of
Speaker 2: fell to the ground. And I was like very intense
Speaker 2: about deciding what I was going to pick up and
Speaker 2: what I was going to That doesn't come with me anymore.
Speaker 1: So at fifty, that's when you got a divorce.
Speaker 2: Well, I yeah, I mean I guess we broke up
Speaker 2: when I was forty eight, forty nine ish, but fifty,
Speaker 2: a few things happened. And I don't want to like
Speaker 2: get too intense right away. And you didn't even ask this,
Speaker 2: but with a very short span I was married for
Speaker 2: almost twenty one years, that ended. And by the way,
Speaker 2: I don't know if you know this, kids love it
Speaker 2: when you get divorced.
Speaker 1: Wait what, Oh, I don't know if you know.
Speaker 2: Oh, you don't know that.
Speaker 1: I know it in certain circumstances. I think I know
Speaker 1: what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my daughter did not love it. And it was
Speaker 2: also the first month of the pandemic shut down and
Speaker 2: she was thirteen years old, so the timing of it
Speaker 2: was as bad as it could have been. And then
Speaker 2: pretty shortly after that, and this is really like I'm
Speaker 2: really getting dark. Sister in law died. This was my
Speaker 2: brother's wife.
Speaker 1: Died so close you were, she was my sister.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's devastating in ways because when it's out
Speaker 2: of war death than a young person who should never
Speaker 2: have died from a terrible illness and they have young parents,
Speaker 2: just awful. But you know, you have a choice. And
Speaker 2: when all of this stuff happens, I just decided that
Speaker 2: I was going to have to be brave. That I
Speaker 2: hadn't been brave in the past, and I regretted that,
Speaker 2: and I decided I was going to be brave, and
Speaker 2: I felt like I had a very hard reset. And
Speaker 2: also for my sister in law. She would have been like,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Get up, go do something amazing,
Speaker 2: like get it going. So she was actually like an
Speaker 2: incredible motivator for this next phase of my life.
Speaker 1: I love that that you are able to take, you know,
Speaker 1: losing her and turn that into something that motivates you.
Speaker 1: And that like the connection didn't end just because she died.
Speaker 2: It didn't happen immediately. I mean you have to understand.
Speaker 2: There was where I was like at the depths of
Speaker 2: going through the divorce, Oh my god, and it was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to look from a car crash to like
Speaker 2: someone getting murdered in front. It was just a rough,
Speaker 2: rough period. But you know what I have to say,
Speaker 2: I had the greatest support from my family and friends.
Speaker 2: I couldn't have had more support, but amazing therapist and
Speaker 2: the therapist. Even with all that support from everybody else
Speaker 2: around me, it was my therapist too pretty much saved
Speaker 2: my life, who was like, yeah, you're gonna have to
Speaker 2: get up now, like we're done and now you go
Speaker 2: got to get up.
Speaker 1: And now wait, how long have you been seeing this therapist.
Speaker 2: For so long? I love her?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, can you text me her?
Speaker 2: Name. Oh my god, she's so brilliant. I mean, I
Speaker 2: would say have been seeing her for the better part
Speaker 2: of twenty years and not consistently. But what's so nice
Speaker 2: about that is she knows me from right and have
Speaker 2: a long time ago. But she was incredibly helpful. Well,
Speaker 2: I just really launched.
Speaker 1: Into this and now, okay, so thank you for being
Speaker 1: on the show. Bye bye.
Speaker 2: I've covered death, divorce, my therapist, my daughter in college.
Speaker 2: What else do you want to get into you?
Speaker 1: This is what it's like when we talk though, Like
Speaker 1: I'm right back on the set with you immediately.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. We just go for it.
Speaker 1: I just sometimes I like to start the beginning because
Speaker 1: I like to get to know you, and I like
Speaker 1: everybody that's listening to get to know you from the
Speaker 1: beginning a little bit. So let's rewind for just a second.
Speaker 1: You grew up in La ye, did you always want
Speaker 1: to be an actress?
Speaker 2: I mean I think it was something that always appealed
Speaker 2: to me. You have to understand, I grew up in
Speaker 2: a very nerdy Jewish family and sell me, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: my parents were like intellectual dorsay that with all the
Speaker 2: love in the world, like just not had no interest
Speaker 2: in pop culture, didn't know anything. Like I always knew
Speaker 2: somebody was enormously famous. If my mother knew who they were,
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, this has gotten to my mom.
Speaker 1: Which means is like a big deal.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. I was not allowed to watch television, Like
Speaker 2: the only stuff we watched was like Walter Cronkite and
Speaker 2: election returns and you know, things like that. So it
Speaker 2: was they sort of assumed, well, you'll go be an attorney,
Speaker 2: or you'll be an architect, or you'll be a social
Speaker 2: worker or a rabbi, which is what my mother begged
Speaker 2: me to do when I told her I was officially
Speaker 2: going to try to be an actor, with tears in
Speaker 2: her eyes, M he's try to be a rabbi. It's
Speaker 2: like performing just.
Speaker 1: Because kind of yeah.
Speaker 2: So it was a thought in my head, but not
Speaker 2: something I thought was a possibility or realistic. Nobody in
Speaker 2: my family was in the business. It was an attorney
Speaker 2: who worked in some ways sometimes with entertainment, but he
Speaker 2: wasn't in the business in any way. And so I
Speaker 2: had a very normal upbringing. So but they shouldn't have
Speaker 2: brought me up the Los Angeles and sent me a crossroads.
Speaker 2: It's their fault, that was.
Speaker 1: Their mistake, right, Okay, I know, I know you've talked
Speaker 1: about this before, and I know I know about it,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if you're comfortable talking about that
Speaker 1: you were adopted.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, oh yeah. It's my favorite thing to talk
Speaker 2: about because.
Speaker 1: When you talk about it, because you ended up with
Speaker 1: the most beautiful, perfect situation and your life just was amazing.
Speaker 1: And I just because everyone out there so much hope
Speaker 1: because you were adopted out of foster care. Right I was,
Speaker 1: And how old were you?
Speaker 2: I was only ten weeks old, so it wasn't like
Speaker 2: I spent a long time. But look, I was in
Speaker 2: foster care in La County in the early seventies. It
Speaker 2: was not like it is today. There was no private
Speaker 2: adoption then. But you know, first of all, November which
Speaker 2: is coming up as National Adoption Month, and so I
Speaker 2: always like to talk about the stuff. So I hope
Speaker 2: you brought it up. But the reason I like to
Speaker 2: talk about it is, you know, particularly when I was
Speaker 2: growing up, adoption was discussed in this like very modeling,
Speaker 2: sad way, and you know, there was this book and
Speaker 2: look don't come at me. I don't want to get
Speaker 2: your emails about this. If it helped you, great God bless.
Speaker 2: But there was a book that came out many, many
Speaker 2: years ago called The Adoption Wound, and the book essentially states,
Speaker 2: you're fucked if you're adopted, you're a mess. You got
Speaker 2: this horrible hole in your heart. It'll never be filled,
Speaker 2: and it's why you have all these problems and you
Speaker 2: can blame everything.
Speaker 1: And wait, wait, wait, was the book trying to help
Speaker 1: you or just label you? I think it was trying
Speaker 1: to help you, but it didn't help you.
Speaker 2: It never that never resonated with me. I never had
Speaker 2: a moment where I looked in the mirror and felt
Speaker 2: like there's something missing. You know. It's very funny, Jenny,
Speaker 2: my birth family found me on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Really I was going to ask you if you'd ever
Speaker 1: dug in there.
Speaker 2: It did and it was my birth sister's daughter. So
Speaker 2: my birth niece, I guess is what you would call.
Speaker 2: Her message me on Instagram and was like, Hi, I
Speaker 2: think you are my mom's sister. And you know, we
Speaker 2: went and got DNA tests and she was, in fact
Speaker 2: my sister and I have met her and we are
Speaker 2: in contact, and I have to say she is the
Speaker 2: loveliest person. She is so nice, she has wonderful daughters,
Speaker 2: she's a grandmother like she is fantastic, and I'm so
Speaker 2: happy to have met her. But I didn't feel like
Speaker 2: and this is not I'm sure she probably felt the
Speaker 2: same way about me. I didn't feel like, now I
Speaker 2: get it and I and this hole has been filled.
Speaker 2: I felt like, this is a very nice person who's
Speaker 2: a stranger to me, who we have incredible connection. That
Speaker 2: means something, and I think that's great, and I have
Speaker 2: only the best of feelings about her. But you know,
Speaker 2: my family's my family, so and then you know, I
Speaker 2: adopted my daughter.
Speaker 1: So it did Oh my god, Okay stop for a second.
Speaker 1: One day we were at work and you didn't have
Speaker 1: a baby, and then one day you came and you
Speaker 1: had a baby. I was like, what is happening? Well,
Speaker 1: it seems so fast for me.
Speaker 2: I don't fast for me too, Jenny. That was so Yes,
Speaker 2: it was a very ridiculous thing where we actually found
Speaker 2: out about her the day that she was born, and
Speaker 2: she was in our home the next day. It was wild.
Speaker 1: I mean it was crazy.
Speaker 2: The circumstances were bananas in very very last minute and overwhelming.
Speaker 2: And I'm the kind of person that like when I
Speaker 2: get like a new handbag first, so I researched that
Speaker 2: handbag for like about six months. Then when I get it,
Speaker 2: I like leave it in my closet to get used
Speaker 2: to the new environment and like make sure it's comfortable
Speaker 2: with all its friends. Like that's a handbag a child,
Speaker 2: like with no warning.
Speaker 1: So you're saying you're a planner, I'm.
Speaker 2: A little bit of a planner. And speaking of my
Speaker 2: sister in law, what she did was I have a
Speaker 2: niece who's three years older than my daughter. My sister
Speaker 2: in law stayed up all night long washing all her
Speaker 2: baby clothes, getting her bass and out ready, and the
Speaker 2: next day I literally had everything I basically needed to
Speaker 2: have a newborn baby in the house. So it was
Speaker 2: a complete last minute surprise, ridiculous thing. That is like
Speaker 2: the best thing that's ever happened. And if you know
Speaker 2: my daughter, I mean she was meant to be my lady.
Speaker 2: So it's very goldie. It's very cool to be adopted
Speaker 2: and adopt I love that I get to have that
Speaker 2: full circle.
Speaker 1: That's really really powerful.
Speaker 2: It is and also you know, it's so funny because
Speaker 2: I've met so many people that have like fertility issues
Speaker 2: or whatever, and they'll just say to me, adoption is
Speaker 2: not an option. They're like, it's just it's too unknown
Speaker 2: for me. And I'm comfortable, and I don't know. Somebody
Speaker 2: once said to me, I'll never forget it. They were like,
Speaker 2: you know, you just you don't know what you're going
Speaker 2: to get, as if having your own biological child, you
Speaker 2: know what you're going to get. Did Jeffrey Dahmer's parents
Speaker 2: know what they were going to get? I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Good point.
Speaker 2: It's just such a ridiculous thing to me. And you know,
Speaker 2: I'm not like a hyper religious person, but I do
Speaker 2: think it's sort of like the closest thing I've ever
Speaker 2: experienced to a religious experience is having that connection with
Speaker 2: a person who is not that didn't come from my body,
Speaker 2: but feels so much like my person.
Speaker 1: So you too, are so alike, it's wild.
Speaker 2: He hates hearing that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean, I hate to look completely
Speaker 1: the same like you look like you gave birth to her.
Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy? And the funny thing is that I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have cared whatever you know, my kid ended up
Speaker 2: looking like I had no preference. I didn't care. This
Speaker 2: just literally she kind of fell from the sky into
Speaker 2: her lap. So it all is an incredible, wonderful thing.
Speaker 2: And you just don't ever know what's the round.
Speaker 1: You don't ever know, you don't ever know. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I know that you lost your father too. I lost
Speaker 1: my father. I know what a pain that is. And
Speaker 1: I loved your dad a little time I got to
Speaker 1: spend with him.
Speaker 2: Your dad was your man, like he was your dude,
Speaker 2: you know, And when you lose your dude, it is
Speaker 2: a brutal it's real, and it doesn't met. My dad
Speaker 2: was eighty four, he was very ill. It doesn't matter,
Speaker 2: Like it does not matter. And you know, how long
Speaker 2: has it been since you lost your dad?
Speaker 1: More than ten years? Yeah, but it doesn't get any
Speaker 1: I mean it does, like the trauma of it sort
Speaker 1: of slowly subsides. But like it's been a year for you,
Speaker 1: where would you say that you are in your grief process?
Speaker 2: Wow, Jenny, you asked such good questions. So, you know,
Speaker 2: my dad was very ill, and particularly the last year
Speaker 2: was so awful and he was suffering and so by
Speaker 2: extension suffering. So I think I would never say that
Speaker 2: I felt like relief that my dad was gone, but
Speaker 2: I felt relief that he was no longer in pain.
Speaker 2: And also what my mother endured because she was the
Speaker 2: single most dedicated caretaker I have ever seen in my life,
Speaker 2: and her entire life existed to take care of my father,
Speaker 2: and so there was a part of me that felt like,
Speaker 2: he is no longer in terrible pain, my mother is
Speaker 2: not having I mean, she never slept, she never ate.
Speaker 2: I mean, it was but what I realized was that
Speaker 2: sort of relief was almost like an anesthesia that it
Speaker 2: kind of hung around for a little bit, and then
Speaker 2: that started to wear off, and then I was like, well,
Speaker 2: that's horrible that that happened to him, and that now
Speaker 2: he's gone. So I feel I had a little bit
Speaker 2: of a freak out on the day of the anniversary
Speaker 2: of his death where I got really emotional. But you know,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to lean into being really, really really grateful
Speaker 2: for what I had. That's what I'm trying to lean into. Also,
Speaker 2: when your parents die, it's inevitable that you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: who's uh, who's next in line? Huh, That's that's me
Speaker 2: I'm next. Oh that's really dark, and I know it
Speaker 2: won't be.
Speaker 1: A very long time, but the point is that it
Speaker 1: does it. You have to face mortality in a completely
Speaker 1: different way.
Speaker 2: Very confronting. I don't like it, but you know, every
Speaker 2: single person on the face of the.
Speaker 1: Earth is gonna go through it.
Speaker 2: Well, that's right. Life comes for everybody, and so life
Speaker 2: came from me kind of hard, very close together. But
Speaker 2: what are you gonna do, Jenny?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I can relate. I had just come
Speaker 1: off like kind of a high point, and then my
Speaker 1: daughter Lola actually got very very ill. And this was when, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think we were already done with the show. When
Speaker 1: she was five years old, and I thought she was
Speaker 1: going to die like Peter and I thought we were
Speaker 1: losing her. And then right after that, right after she
Speaker 1: started to get better, my dad passed away. And then
Speaker 1: you know, just those bad things, they kind of keep
Speaker 1: hitting you while you're down. I don't know what it.
Speaker 2: Is about that they do come close together. I feel
Speaker 2: like in a weird way that sort of like happens
Speaker 2: in life, Like it's almost like a portal gets opened
Speaker 2: ment all. Yeah, Genny, stuff happens, and.
Speaker 1: I'm always scared when one bad thing happens, because then
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, what's next. Yeah, it usually
Speaker 1: happens in threes, That's what they say.
Speaker 2: Okay, well we're done with that now.
Speaker 1: So let's be over it. Well, So, I'm sorry for
Speaker 1: your loss. I know how much he meant to you,
Speaker 1: and I'm just really sorry.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that because I know you know what it
Speaker 2: feels like. So and it does means something when somebody
Speaker 2: who like you know, really loved their dad and really
Speaker 2: had like a really special and good connection with their dad.
Speaker 2: That when someone will say to me I understand, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I know you do, and that makes it better. It does.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you one more question about this. I
Speaker 1: found that it didn't well, I always feel this way
Speaker 1: with death of someone that I love, that it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel real for so long, Like it just I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna see him again, or the phone's gonna ring,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be them, and I I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: there's that period of time where it just I don't
Speaker 1: accept it. Did you experience that?
Speaker 2: I think, first of all, I think that is such
Speaker 2: a like relatable thing to say I felt my dad
Speaker 2: was such an outsized personality, and he took up such
Speaker 2: big space in my life. He was the single biggest
Speaker 2: influence on me, and I went to him for his
Speaker 2: guidance and his counsel over everything that It was almost
Speaker 2: like I was like, how does he can't die? Someone
Speaker 2: like that doesn't die, They don't just cease to exist.
Speaker 2: How is that possible? So that I think was my
Speaker 2: version of being in disbelief, like how is this person
Speaker 2: out here? And there's every day where I'm like, God,
Speaker 2: I wish I could ask you about this or that
Speaker 2: or what is a Pina thinks about that?
Speaker 1: Do you feel closer? Because people told me this too
Speaker 1: that first of all, they said a little git easier,
Speaker 1: it won't hurt so bad, which I was like, fuck you,
Speaker 1: you don't know what you're talking about. But there are
Speaker 1: also people that said that you'll start to feel him
Speaker 1: all around you, and I was like, he's dead. There's
Speaker 1: no way I can feel him. And that irritated me
Speaker 1: so badly. But I did find that after time, whenever
Speaker 1: I'm in the wind, whenever the wind is around me,
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like goosebumps right now because
Speaker 1: he knows I'm talking about him, but I can feel
Speaker 1: him so strongly, and now it's as if I have
Speaker 1: and not just with my dad, with other people that
Speaker 1: I've loved that passed away, Like I have a direct
Speaker 1: connection with speaking to them anytime I want. It's not
Speaker 1: like I'm going to call them and ask for advice
Speaker 1: and they're gonna be like, let me call you later.
Speaker 1: You know, if you talk to them after they've died,
Speaker 1: it feels like there's so much closer somehow do you
Speaker 1: feel that way?
Speaker 2: I completely relate to what you're saying. And look, it's
Speaker 2: like scientifically proven, like people are energy, and that energy
Speaker 2: and that love is a real living thing and something
Speaker 2: I really appreciate In Judaism. Judaism actually has an incredibly
Speaker 2: smart set of rules around when people die, how long
Speaker 2: you know, you're not supposed to do this thing called
Speaker 2: sitting shiva where you don't you don't leave your house
Speaker 2: for seven days and people come and you cover the
Speaker 2: mirrors because you're not supposed to think about vanity or anything.
Speaker 2: And then after seven days you are to take a
Speaker 2: walk around the block. The family is like, Okay, this
Speaker 2: is now signifying to the community it is over, yes,
Speaker 2: And then there's all these things you do in the
Speaker 2: first year to sort of mark whatever, and then on
Speaker 2: their your anniversary, you have the unveiling of their grave,
Speaker 2: their tombstone. So it's very sort of like okay, like
Speaker 2: they're very into the markers of time that's passed. But
Speaker 2: something they do that I really appreciate is weew just
Speaker 2: don't embalm the body, and you must be buried within
Speaker 2: forty eight hours. You have to get in the ground
Speaker 2: because their feelings. As soon as you die, your soul
Speaker 2: that's all that matters. Your body is meaningless. All that
Speaker 2: matters is the soul. And I believe that that is
Speaker 2: energy that lives on that love that my dad had
Speaker 2: for me, and I have for my dad that hasn't
Speaker 2: gone anywherewhere. That's still with me. Your love that you
Speaker 2: have for your dad, that he had for you is
Speaker 2: always with you and in you, and now it's with
Speaker 2: your children, and it's you know, it goes all through
Speaker 2: every single aspect of your life. So yes, I do
Speaker 2: feel that because I still feel how much he loved me,
Speaker 2: very very much. That being said, I would like to
Speaker 2: still pick up the phone and have a conversation with him.
Speaker 2: For that to the feeling of him being around.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But I think that's a very real thing. And I
Speaker 2: don't think that's hippy dippy. I don't think that's woo woo.
Speaker 2: I don't think that's you know, bullshit. I think that
Speaker 2: is very real and concrete feeling that you have when
Speaker 2: you have real love and connection with someone. I feel
Speaker 2: like with my sister in law too. I have a picture,
Speaker 2: you know, I have pictures of her everywhere, and I
Speaker 2: have one in my bathroom. So every single morning when
Speaker 2: I wake up, she's sort of the first and last
Speaker 2: thing I see, and I always I'm like, Shannon, what
Speaker 2: are we going to do? They go talk to her picture.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, can you believe this? Could
Speaker 2: you hear about that? And it's like I can almost
Speaker 2: feel like I'm half so, you know, I think that
Speaker 2: stuff is so important to lean into. Why I deny
Speaker 2: yourself that, you know? And I love that you feel
Speaker 2: that when there's that you feel your dad. I think
Speaker 2: that's so like fantastic. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love that you talk to her every morning every morning. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's switch gears. I could talk about Graef for a
Speaker 1: very long time. Can you believe that our show what
Speaker 1: I Like about You started twenty two years ago.
Speaker 2: I really can't. I mean I really can't.
Speaker 1: I had a baby on that show. You had a
Speaker 1: baby on that show.
Speaker 2: It's wild, it is crazy. I can't believe how quickly
Speaker 2: it's gone. You know that that really was one of
Speaker 2: my most favorite work experiences of my entire life. I
Speaker 2: think about it all the time, and I still get
Speaker 2: feedback from people. Constant toute were up watching it. It
Speaker 2: was like their comfort show. People love that show. I
Speaker 2: mean literally all the time, people say, I'm sure they
Speaker 2: say it to you all the time.
Speaker 1: Yes, So people of a certain age, like I have
Speaker 1: my nine to two one oog fans.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean you are like so critical to so
Speaker 2: many people. It's so many.
Speaker 1: Then there's like ten years younger, and they were so
Speaker 1: hooked on what I like about you because it was
Speaker 1: such a good show. We had so much fun. Every
Speaker 1: one of us, I think probably said the same thing,
Speaker 1: like it was our one of our favorite experiences working absolutely.
Speaker 2: And you know, I have a very distinct memory of
Speaker 2: working on that show, and I was walking up the stairs.
Speaker 2: For people who don't know, it was a multicam which
Speaker 2: almost doesn't exist anymore, which is so sad, and it
Speaker 2: was a favorite, favorite kind of work that I never
Speaker 2: get to do. And you know, the stage was on
Speaker 2: the first floor, and then our dressing rooms were upstairs.
Speaker 2: And I remember one day walking up to my dressing
Speaker 2: room and I just had this like feeling where I
Speaker 2: was like, I feel very grateful for this. I feel very,
Speaker 2: very very grateful to be here and for this, And
Speaker 2: I felt that all the time on that job. I
Speaker 2: just loved who I worked with. It was sort of
Speaker 2: a joyous place to be and it was fun and
Speaker 2: we just like, you.
Speaker 1: Know, I know, right going to work and having a
Speaker 1: good time and laughing instead of being scary or murdered
Speaker 1: or all your things, I feel.
Speaker 2: Like committing murders, running for murders. But not only that,
Speaker 2: because of the way that those shows are filmed, you
Speaker 2: have a quality of life in your home with your kids.
Speaker 2: Your kids could come to work and hang out and
Speaker 2: it was like completely great to have them there. So
Speaker 2: that was also something that was really nice that you
Speaker 2: it felt more kind of like a normal job in.
Speaker 1: A way, you know, like it was called banker hours,
Speaker 1: like you would.
Speaker 2: Be in traffic driving home, and like there was one
Speaker 2: night that we worked till like ten, you know, when
Speaker 2: we shot in front of the audience, But that's I mean, god,
Speaker 2: as you know, working non multiicam ten o'clock wrapping on
Speaker 2: a Friday night as early. So anyway, it was my favorite.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: I loved having you there because you came in on
Speaker 1: the second season.
Speaker 2: Was that I did, and as a guest star of
Speaker 2: the first season, and then I came back as a
Speaker 2: regular on the second season, which was such a gift.
Speaker 1: Oh. I was so excited to have you there to
Speaker 1: play with because I felt like we were the grown
Speaker 1: ups a few recall, and I didn't like that feeling
Speaker 1: because I was not had never had that feeling before,
Speaker 1: and so I was so happy to have a fellow
Speaker 1: grown up with me to play with every day and
Speaker 1: to do these fun scenes with. We had so much fun.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, No, we really did, like for real,
Speaker 2: for real, and you were so lovely to me and
Speaker 2: like welcoming and like come on in. And that was
Speaker 2: I mean, it was sort of because it was sort
Speaker 2: of divided between the adults and the kids young, which
Speaker 2: that's fine, Like that was super fun. I leaned into
Speaker 2: the aunt sassy of it all.
Speaker 1: You know, like, yep, you took on the ant sassy
Speaker 1: and I was like the big sister. That wasn't that fun?
Speaker 2: Yes, but we I mean that also like I was
Speaker 2: such a true idiot that character, which you don't. I've
Speaker 2: really I've cornered the market. I'm playing actual insane people
Speaker 2: and I don't find myself to be personally insane, but
Speaker 2: I do seem to lean into that very comfortably. So
Speaker 2: I don't know what that says about me.
Speaker 1: There's this there's this part about you that you you
Speaker 1: are on the fly all the time, Like that makes sense,
Speaker 1: like you I never know what's going to come out
Speaker 1: of your mouth, which I love people like that. It
Speaker 1: keeps things fresh and exciting. And so I feel like
Speaker 1: you're in You're kookie, You're you're a little kookie, and
Speaker 1: those are all the best qualities in somebody.
Speaker 2: So well, I appreciate that, but pretty high up in
Speaker 2: my book, Well you're high at my book. But I
Speaker 2: think that you and I had really good chemistry and
Speaker 2: we played all yeah super well. And I think I
Speaker 2: also felt like the way that everybody felt about each
Speaker 2: other on that show really came through, Like we genuinely
Speaker 2: enjoyed being around each other, and so I felt like
Speaker 2: that absolutely translated and why people responded the way that
Speaker 2: they did.
Speaker 1: Should we do a reboot?
Speaker 2: I mean, look, Jenny, if the money we've talked about it,
Speaker 2: Oh look, I am all about nostalgia TV. I think
Speaker 2: that stuff is fun, and if it was a wonderful
Speaker 2: script and the right mix, then I'm open to any
Speaker 2: and all things.
Speaker 1: I know. I know we've talked about it before, and
Speaker 1: there's certain, you know, reasons why we can't do it
Speaker 1: the way it was done. But we had so much fun.
Speaker 1: And you're right, the art, the multi camera art is
Speaker 1: so close to dying.
Speaker 2: I agree, and I have to say, like I do
Speaker 2: think for everybody involved in that show, it was a
Speaker 2: real sweet spot, you know what I mean, where people
Speaker 2: were really at their best, and so you know, that's
Speaker 2: such a I want to articulate this in a good way.
Speaker 2: I have so much affection for that part of our lives,
Speaker 2: and that just amongst the cast, that everybody was sort
Speaker 2: of firing on all cylinders and everybody had such great
Speaker 2: chemistry together. So yes, I am open to all the things.
Speaker 1: Jenny, let's talk, Okay, So this is a burning question
Speaker 1: of mine. What is the deal with you and Ryan Murphy.
Speaker 1: You've worked with them like two hundred times at least.
Speaker 1: Well you got did you go to high school? What's
Speaker 1: happening with this Ryan?
Speaker 2: I met before? What I like about you? I met
Speaker 2: Ryan in nineteen ninety eight in the casting process for
Speaker 2: a show called Popular. We just instantly hit it off.
Speaker 2: This was my first series, it was Ryan's first series.
Speaker 2: Nobody had any idea who he was. And he I mean,
Speaker 2: I hate to use this term, it's super cheesy, but
Speaker 2: I do feel that he is, you know, a soulmate
Speaker 2: of mine in many ways. We share a very similar
Speaker 2: worldview and what we think is funny, and you know,
Speaker 2: he's just this incredibly brilliant but also hilarious human being.
Speaker 2: And we just hit it off instantly, and this friendship
Speaker 2: has endured. And I have to say, I never ever,
Speaker 2: ever expected to work with him for all of these years.
Speaker 2: The work part was sort of secondary. We met at work,
Speaker 2: but you meet lots of people at work, and you
Speaker 2: never work friends.
Speaker 1: You don't think you're gonna work with them for forty years, like.
Speaker 2: You know, so well, it's not quite forty years. Don't
Speaker 2: age me.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I almost, but.
Speaker 2: I never and so each time we work together, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: like I think that's so exciting, but I've never expected it.
Speaker 2: I've never assumed if we'd only ever done that first
Speaker 2: series together, that would have been enough, Like that would
Speaker 2: have been plenty. He gave me my opportunity to be
Speaker 2: in my very first series. So I feel so so
Speaker 2: so lucky that I that is one of those things
Speaker 2: that's just timing, the stars aligning, that is this right time.
Speaker 2: I just happened to be a certain age at a
Speaker 2: certain time and appropriate for a certain whatever, and we
Speaker 2: cross paths, and it's just been the most wonderful friendship,
Speaker 2: not just creatively but also personally. You know, we've both
Speaker 2: been through so much, and you know, he's a dad
Speaker 2: and like the most committed parent, and I love his
Speaker 2: children so much, and he is so good to my daughter.
Speaker 2: And when Goldie had her first real breakup, anything I
Speaker 2: talked to her about, she was like, you just don't
Speaker 2: get like she just didn't want to hear it from me.
Speaker 2: Had one conversation with her and she was like, that
Speaker 2: was the best advice I've ever gotten. And so he's
Speaker 2: very been very wonderful and good to my daughter. So
Speaker 2: you know, they have the same birthday, GOLDI and Ryan
Speaker 2: have the same birthday.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's getting weirder. Then it's so good though.
Speaker 2: And they're both it's November ninth. They're both hardcore scorpios.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you like and by the way, both of
Speaker 2: them are triple scorpios. So I feel like the universe
Speaker 2: is like ha ha.
Speaker 1: From both sides. You're getting it. But you've worked with them,
Speaker 1: I know for people that aren't listening, just want to
Speaker 1: like remind them with popular nip tuck, the new not
Speaker 1: have a list here the new normal American horror stories.
Speaker 2: But how many I've done six seasons of horror story
Speaker 2: port story. I just worked with him on Menendez.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hi, can we talk about that please?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 2: Please would love.
Speaker 1: To talk about monsters. It's so good. It's so good,
Speaker 1: The Lyle and Eric Menenda story. It's out now on Netflix,
Speaker 1: and if you haven't watched it, you need to crawl
Speaker 1: out from under the rock that you're living in and
Speaker 1: go and watch it. You are so incredible as my
Speaker 1: favorite character, judelan Am I saying all right, yes, judelan Smith, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did not know you were going to be in it.
Speaker 1: I was watching and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: there's Leslie.
Speaker 2: I just saw it.
Speaker 1: I just saw her at airport. It was like this
Speaker 1: weird full circle moment. You were so so good.
Speaker 2: You're very kind. The look was very intense. You know,
Speaker 2: it's it's a wig, it's in nineteen eighty nine clothes.
Speaker 2: She's a very specific person, you know, because I'm from
Speaker 2: Los Angeles and I was in high school when that happened,
Speaker 2: and actually several friends who were in school with Eric,
Speaker 2: and this was, you know, two miles from where I
Speaker 2: grew up. So this this news was huge nationally and internationally. Locally,
Speaker 2: it was like all anyone could think about her talk
Speaker 2: about And so I really watched that case very closely
Speaker 2: when it happened. And then wasn't the first one that
Speaker 2: aired on Court TV. I feel like I should know this,
Speaker 2: but it was one of the first things that aired
Speaker 2: in its entirety on Court TV, and I watched whenever
Speaker 2: I could. And I remember or this character that I
Speaker 2: play in the show, Judelan Smith Hilly. She was a
Speaker 2: very unique character and person and her testimony was really outrageous.
Speaker 2: So I remember it very clearly and Thankfully, all of
Speaker 2: that testimony is available on YouTube, so I was able
Speaker 2: to watch all of it and find it of it.
Speaker 2: But to get to be a part of this was
Speaker 2: really incredible and phenomenal. But it was mostly just to
Speaker 2: watch Cooper Kotch and Nicholas Chavez, who play Lyell and Eric.
Speaker 2: I mean, to watch their performances and to get to
Speaker 2: be around that and just knowing like, oh, wow, your
Speaker 2: entire lives are going to change as soon as this errors,
Speaker 2: and it has. But they're so talented and so good,
Speaker 2: and so that was really cool to get to watch
Speaker 2: their incredible hard work and then for the world to
Speaker 2: see it and really respond to that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody remembers that happening in the nineties. I was
Speaker 1: working through it. I was playing a character that went
Speaker 1: to the same school as him. So yeah, So and that's.
Speaker 2: When your show was, I mean, as huge as huge
Speaker 2: could be. And you know what's so funny, Jenny, I
Speaker 2: think about this all the time. What was the average
Speaker 2: number of a Nino two and zero show when it aired?
Speaker 2: How many people were watching that on an average night?
Speaker 1: Not that many because it was on Fox, which was
Speaker 1: a network.
Speaker 2: Eighteen million.
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably, Okay, do you understand to.
Speaker 2: Me, that's not enough, but eighteen million views, that would
Speaker 2: be a hit in a way that like you would
Speaker 2: hear executives screaming, like across the canyons of Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: I mean that the numbers that your show got were
Speaker 2: so massive, but just culturally it was so huge, and
Speaker 2: so for Nano two one oh to be it, it's
Speaker 2: really like ascendency right right when those were it was
Speaker 2: a and I remember that and I spoke about that
Speaker 2: in an interview. It was a wild chriss cross because
Speaker 2: I feel like the juggernaut of the show was also
Speaker 2: rocket fuel for the story of the murder.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and interestingly enough, I think the show did sort
Speaker 1: of an episode where actually Matthew Perry played a character,
Speaker 1: so I remember this that was a tennis player and
Speaker 1: under a lot of stress from his rich parents. And
Speaker 1: I don't think he murdered them on our show.
Speaker 2: But I mean, Jenny, you have to understand something that
Speaker 2: my freshman year of college, so obviously I watched it,
Speaker 2: and I just remember somebody being like, there's a show
Speaker 2: about kids that go to Beverly and I was like, what, Okay,
Speaker 2: I have to watch this, and my freshman year of college.
Speaker 2: You know, there was like you had to like watch
Speaker 2: TV like in a congregate environment, like there was a
Speaker 2: TV like in the co living space of a door, right,
Speaker 2: but all meet and watch the show together, and it
Speaker 2: was maybe the most fun ever. I mean the prom
Speaker 2: episode where you guys are weren'ting the same forget It
Speaker 2: or get It like iconic and you know what was
Speaker 2: so fun about I'm sorry, I'm like totally looping back
Speaker 2: into different like I'm going back to a different direction
Speaker 2: that when people from Nina tuan O came onto our show,
Speaker 2: I acted normal.
Speaker 1: I was me being out my god, yes, I'm what
Speaker 1: I like about you. We had Ian on, we had
Speaker 1: Luke on, we had Jason on. I think that's it.
Speaker 2: They were so wonderful too, like so fantastic, so wonderful.
Speaker 2: And I felt really lucky that I got to meet Luke,
Speaker 2: you know, because he was so cool, Like he was
Speaker 2: so nice, he was so cool, and I have to say,
Speaker 2: the two of you had that chemistry like no time
Speaker 2: had gone by. It was like right there, which was fun.
Speaker 2: But that like you'll never know how much that meant
Speaker 2: to me. I was like I would totally play cool
Speaker 2: it's like, hey, what's that? Nice to meet you, but
Speaker 2: inside you're so good.
Speaker 1: Freaking out dude, you know you were saying like it
Speaker 1: was appointment television. That doesn't happen anymore now it's all
Speaker 1: about streaming. But you are on two shows that are
Speaker 1: streaming on the top of the charts right now. Did
Speaker 1: you ever think see that coming?
Speaker 2: I did not. So the other show you're talking about
Speaker 2: is the Kristen Bell Adam Brodie show called Nobody Wants
Speaker 2: This created my friend Foster, who I've known Aaron for
Speaker 2: a long time. They were so lovely and called and said, hey,
Speaker 2: would you do you want to come play a rabbi?
Speaker 2: And I don't want to brag, but I've played a
Speaker 2: rabbi several times now on television, so I love that
Speaker 2: they made such an effort to have Jewish actors playing
Speaker 2: Jewish characters, which you know, for many, many years is
Speaker 2: not what happened. And it was like, I only did
Speaker 2: one episode, but I swear to God, I have gotten
Speaker 2: more feedback from doing that one episode than almost anything
Speaker 2: I've ever done, because that is such a massive hit
Speaker 2: and it's so funny that they aired at the exact
Speaker 2: same time and then switched places like it's.
Speaker 1: Just you're killing it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know. I'm an actor. So the minute
Speaker 2: you say that, I'm like, well.
Speaker 1: I know. For me to never work again, I'll never worry.
Speaker 2: That's the only way it can happen, Like you have to.
Speaker 2: And by the way, every time I get a job,
Speaker 2: every time to this day, after decades of doing this,
Speaker 2: I'm like, no.
Speaker 1: Really, are you sure? You're like, oh you want me?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Always. I will never ever get over that. So I
Speaker 2: when there's moments where people are watching what you do,
Speaker 2: because there's a lot of downtimes.
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you, you've been working steadily, pretty steadily.
Speaker 1: Has there ever been a time during that downtime when
Speaker 1: you're like, maybe I should try something different? Like what
Speaker 1: else could I do?
Speaker 2: You know, you ask a great question. The one of
Speaker 2: my toxic traits is I am enormously stubborn, and I
Speaker 2: also am like, no, put too much time in. I
Speaker 2: put too much time and I'm gonna wait everyone else
Speaker 2: out until they leave, and then they'll create some sort
Speaker 2: of vacuum for me to move into. I didn't ever
Speaker 2: think of quitting. There were times where I was like, wow,
Speaker 2: this is horrific because when you have something that you
Speaker 2: love that is your dream, and you go through periods
Speaker 2: where nothing really seems like it's going on. I remember
Speaker 2: feeling like there was a time where it felt like
Speaker 2: my career was like on a boat and the boat
Speaker 2: was out to see and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, by can I come back someday?
Speaker 2: Hopefully it brings you back to me. So I have
Speaker 2: had some real dark moments where I'm like, fuck, this
Speaker 2: is horrible. I never ever thought of quitting, and I
Speaker 2: swear to God, I truly believe that it's just through
Speaker 2: sheer force of will and endurance and a refusal to quit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the only reason.
Speaker 2: And it's out of a stubborn inability to know when
Speaker 2: to call it.
Speaker 1: So because I always think what else am I gonna do?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: This is what I do well.
Speaker 2: But the amazing thing about you is you do everything
Speaker 2: which you know what you've always been And I've always
Speaker 2: admired this about you. You are a frickin' hustler and
Speaker 2: you always have been like you are, like you multitask
Speaker 2: in a way that I've never seen, and I have
Speaker 2: this memory of you like walking into work with like
Speaker 2: two dogs, children, papers, the script and its like as an assistant,
Speaker 2: like and you're like, you have seventy businesses and things
Speaker 2: going on, but then when you have to lock into
Speaker 2: the thing in front of you, will lock into that thing. Okay,
Speaker 2: now I'm going to lock into that thing. And you
Speaker 2: always did it all with a lot of grace, Like
Speaker 2: I don't know, I am very I don't have that ability. So,
Speaker 2: for instance, you have this incredible collaboration with QVC. You
Speaker 2: know that, likeir so I have. I love QVC more
Speaker 2: than anything. I mean I really do, and I watch
Speaker 2: it all the time, and particularly at the height of lockdown,
Speaker 2: I was like, nothing is more comforting to me right now,
Speaker 2: like the world is in saying all I want to
Speaker 2: do is watch someone talking about this particular blanket like
Speaker 2: and why this is so good? And I'm like, I
Speaker 2: want to hear all about the microfiber count on this blanket.
Speaker 1: It really there's something about it that just sucks you in.
Speaker 2: Yes, but you know you've also you you've always managed
Speaker 2: to be like ahead of the curve. VC is doing
Speaker 2: something very brilliant, embracing women fifty and over. Now right
Speaker 2: that you are just like hello, like I am going
Speaker 2: to walk right into that, and you're like the perfect
Speaker 2: face for all of this, someone that people have grown
Speaker 2: up with, who you know, they can see themselves in,
Speaker 2: who's doing it in a way that's really admirable and aspirational.
Speaker 2: And you know, I think you're amazing your ability to
Speaker 2: just like always have fifty different things going at the
Speaker 2: same time. I don't know how.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you. Ask my husband. It's not
Speaker 1: quite as graceful as you might think. But you got
Speaker 1: a hustle, girl.
Speaker 3: You do.
Speaker 2: You do have to hustle.
Speaker 1: We got to pay the bills.
Speaker 2: And you've always been a very good provider.
Speaker 1: I like taking care of people.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 2: Also, you've been working since you were really really young.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like soeen sixteen, seventeen.
Speaker 2: Yep, So I think that's just in you.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, I have a strong work ethic, and I
Speaker 1: enjoy doing things like I enjoy getting shit done, like
Speaker 1: checking it off my list and the next very impressive.
Speaker 1: I thank you so much. That's a very nice of
Speaker 1: you to notice me.
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't say it if I didn't.
Speaker 1: Okay, if you weren't an actress, Oh yes, what would
Speaker 1: you do with your time? What would you be?
Speaker 2: It's such a cliche answer, but I probably would be
Speaker 2: like a therapist. I just find people so fascinating and
Speaker 2: I'm so like psychologically curious. And obviously that is so
Speaker 2: much of what acting is, as you're getting into the
Speaker 2: mind of.
Speaker 1: A different person.
Speaker 2: But I mean, for some of my favorite thing ever,
Speaker 2: like my dream evening is this is gonna sound terrible,
Speaker 2: getting sat next to people that are in a fight,
Speaker 2: like a couple like I just because I want to
Speaker 2: hear them nimin issues and he is not He needs
Speaker 2: to go to a therapist for that, and she is
Speaker 2: not listening and she's not holding space for it.
Speaker 1: Like I just like, let's go to I want to
Speaker 1: go to dinner with you and we won't talk. No,
Speaker 1: we'll just listen.
Speaker 2: Suh, will order our food and then hopefully sit.
Speaker 3: Next to people, go right next to people, correct And
Speaker 3: I've had that, So I find other psychological dynamics between
Speaker 3: people fascinating, and you know, figuring out why people are
Speaker 3: the way that they are and how you correctly affects
Speaker 3: what you're like today and how you can make real
Speaker 3: change right here, right now that whatever happened to you,
Speaker 3: it's not like, oh, it's not like the story is
Speaker 3: written and you can't adjust that.
Speaker 2: And how people can figure out different ways to get
Speaker 2: through things. I find all of them.
Speaker 1: I do too. Should we should have been a therapists together.
Speaker 2: Let's open up, let's go to school, and that'll be
Speaker 2: another way.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing a show though it's yes, I think this
Speaker 1: is good.
Speaker 2: I think so too. Two actresses who become therapists and.
Speaker 1: We live together. We have to live together together, and
Speaker 1: we're besses because we sometimes have You noticed that sometimes therapists,
Speaker 1: not every therapist, because my best friend is a therapist,
Speaker 1: was a therapist and she's like the best person I know.
Speaker 1: But a lot of times therapists don't have their shit
Speaker 1: together in their real lives.
Speaker 2: No, and sort of the cliche also is like I
Speaker 2: just remember there was some kids, not all, but there
Speaker 2: were some kids that I grew up with whose parents
Speaker 2: were therapists, and I was like, oh, boy, love going
Speaker 2: on in your house? Can you imagine they might not
Speaker 2: be able to see you any longer? So I think, Look,
Speaker 2: I think I learned drawn to certain things for certain reasons.
Speaker 2: I think maybe dysfunctional people are drawn to psychological work.
Speaker 2: They want to understand why they are the way they
Speaker 2: are and by the way, I put myself in that
Speaker 2: category on me too, taking myself out of it at all.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I think that's fair. And by the way,
Speaker 2: whoever said I wasn't kind of a mess, I don't.
Speaker 2: I literally have no idea what I'm doing on any
Speaker 2: given day. I am winging it constantly.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you've never done this before. No, I really haven't
Speaker 1: ever been in this moment right now before. And people
Speaker 1: forget that, like when you fuck up as a mom
Speaker 1: or like you make a mistake with a friend or
Speaker 1: at work and you are so hard on yourself about
Speaker 1: it and why did I do that? And you know,
Speaker 1: you beat yourself up about it, and I have to
Speaker 1: remind myself in those moments, like, hello, you've never done
Speaker 1: this before. Of course you're not going to do everything
Speaker 1: right all the time.
Speaker 2: And the thing that also kind of blows my mind though,
Speaker 2: I was literally talking to someone this morning about this
Speaker 2: where you know, I am still learning big lessons where
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh wow, that was a learning experience. It
Speaker 2: was deeply painful, but it was I in my kitchen.
Speaker 2: There's that is a learning experience, and I'm like, oh wow, okay,
Speaker 2: so at this age, I'm still having learned experience.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Sometimes with my husband and I talk
Speaker 1: about this, We're like, I'm so tired of evolving, Like
Speaker 1: please make it.
Speaker 2: Stup literally like I get it, Like I've learned. I
Speaker 2: don't want to learn any more lessons. I'm allfull on lessons.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. But that's not what life is.
Speaker 2: It really isn't and it's just waiting for you to
Speaker 2: fuck up again.
Speaker 1: I mean, we have had we've had such a good
Speaker 1: time together, but I feel like there were destined to
Speaker 1: work together again and I really love look forward to that.
Speaker 2: Let's do it.
Speaker 1: I love talking to you, I love hanging out with
Speaker 1: you all hours of the day and night on set.
Speaker 1: I just love you.
Speaker 2: Well, before we go, I just want to say, first
Speaker 2: of all, thank you for having me on. I also
Speaker 2: talked so much, and it's not fair because I know
Speaker 2: you so and I'm just so excited to like talk
Speaker 2: to you. And now other people are going to have
Speaker 2: to listen in on that.
Speaker 1: No, they want to hear everything you have to say.
Speaker 3: They love it.
Speaker 2: And also I remember something This is so like unimportant
Speaker 2: and stupid, but you taught me like a food thing
Speaker 2: that I never ever forgot where we were sitting. They
Speaker 2: had like on set it was like a cobbler and
Speaker 2: like we got a cobbler and there was ice cream
Speaker 2: and you salted it and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 2: was like, what are you talking. I was like, why
Speaker 2: are you salting that? And you were like no, no,
Speaker 2: the salt brings out and I was like okay, and
Speaker 2: I salted it and I was like, this is the
Speaker 2: greatest thing that's ever happened. And I feel like salted
Speaker 2: caramel became a huge bad after that, and I was like, one,
Speaker 2: miss Jenny Barth assaulting your sweet things many years.
Speaker 1: I'm a trailblazer when it comes sick eating salt.
Speaker 2: You are a trailblazer. And on that ridiculous note that way.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so funny. I have one final question to
Speaker 1: ask you, Leslie Grossman. What was your last I Choose
Speaker 1: me moment? Oh, it can be big, it can be little.
Speaker 1: You know, you're in the in the minefield of choosing
Speaker 1: yourself for right now, which is an amazing place to be.
Speaker 2: I will tell you my last choose me moment that
Speaker 2: I alluded to in a text with you that I
Speaker 2: won't go into too many details. I had an interaction.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be too obvious, but it was
Speaker 2: like a collaboration, and I did not like the way
Speaker 2: it was going down. And the old me, the younger me,
Speaker 2: would have stuck it out, made excuses, I would have apologized,
Speaker 2: I would have myself, and instead, I very directly said,
Speaker 2: this doesn't feel good and I'm going to remove myself
Speaker 2: from this best of luck. And it felt great. It
Speaker 2: felt so great. And the more that you make those choices,
Speaker 2: the better it is for you. That is you taking
Speaker 2: care of yourself. And it's not easy and it doesn't
Speaker 2: come naturally to me. And I don't want people to
Speaker 2: think I'm a bitch or I'm grateful, whatever it is
Speaker 2: that we worry people are going to think about us
Speaker 2: to say, I don't like this and I'm removing myself.
Speaker 2: And I did that just a couple of days ago.
Speaker 2: So that was my last choose me a moment. Without
Speaker 2: going into the specifics of it, I protected myself.
Speaker 1: I love it, Jenny, and I choose you.
Speaker 2: I choose you, Jenny. Will you give all your girls
Speaker 2: kisses for me?
Speaker 1: And Goldie too. I want to hold her like a baby,
Speaker 1: but I can't because she's large. Now it's tall.
Speaker 2: How she's like five nine, I don't care for it.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, how tall are you?
Speaker 2: I'm six.
Speaker 1: It's weird when they're taller than us.
Speaker 2: What is happening? And by the way, I'll just say this,
Speaker 2: they're taller now, kids are taller. Now, they grow them taller.
Speaker 1: Now, they grow more. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: All her friends from over And I'm like, it's like
Speaker 2: Amazon's or And.
Speaker 1: I cannot tell I cannot wait to tell Fiona that
Speaker 1: I talked to Goldie's mom today. She's going to be
Speaker 1: so happy not to.
Speaker 2: Give her a squeeze from me. And your girls are
Speaker 2: just like, oh my god, Like you're just you know,
Speaker 2: you've always been the most wonderful mother and so totally
Speaker 2: committed to them, and now look how wonderful they are.
Speaker 1: So mazzle, mizzled to you love seeing I love you,
Speaker 1: bye bye, thank you.
Speaker 2: Hi. Oh.
Speaker 1: I just love Leslie Grossman. You guys. It was so
Speaker 1: nice to chat with her and just you know, walk
Speaker 1: down memory road with her and some of the fun
Speaker 1: memories that we had working together on What I like
Speaker 1: about you, What a great time we had. And I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm so I'm so happy for her and proud
Speaker 1: of her all the incredible roles that she has played,
Speaker 1: but especially right now, I mean, she's just killing it
Speaker 1: and I couldn't be happier for anybody. As we continue
Speaker 1: to choose ourselves each week, I want to challenge you
Speaker 1: this week to something. When was the last time you
Speaker 1: told someone in your life that you love them? Talking
Speaker 1: with Leslie today, we were both reflecting on what it's
Speaker 1: like to lose a parent, and I know for a
Speaker 1: lot of us, if given the opportunity to see that
Speaker 1: parent again, we would want to make sure that we
Speaker 1: told them we love them. So this week, I encourage
Speaker 1: you to send a text or tell someone just call them.
Speaker 1: Maybe next time you talk to them, tell them that
Speaker 1: you love them. Life can change in the blink of
Speaker 1: an eye, so let's all choose to really prioritize and
Speaker 1: remind ourselves how lucky we are to have people in
Speaker 1: our lives. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. You
Speaker 1: can check out all our social links in our show notes.
Speaker 1: You can rate us, you can review us, and be
Speaker 1: sure to use the hashtag I Choose Me so I
Speaker 1: can find you. I'll be right here next week. I
Speaker 1: hope you choose to be here too.