1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone, 2 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast. This podcast is 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: all about the choices we make and where they lead us. 4 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: So today we're going to talk to someone very exciting. 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 1: My guest is an actress that is literally on two 6 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: of the biggest Netflix shows right now, Monsters The Lyle 7 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: and Eric Meninda Story and Nobody wants this. You know 8 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: her from her roles in popular niptok multiple seasons of 9 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: American Horror Story, but I know her from our days 10 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,159 Speaker 1: on the show. What I like about you? Please welcome 11 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 1: Leslie Grossman to the I Choose Me Podcast. 12 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 2: I'm so happy to see you. 13 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: You're not as happy as me. We just saw each other. 14 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: Happenstance brought us together in an airport. I have no 15 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: idea what city we were in, New York, Okay, New York. Great. 16 00:00:58,440 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: We had been on the same flight and we didn't 17 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: know it. 18 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 2: But I don't understand how I didn't see you like 19 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 2: that doesn't actually make any sense And also really the 20 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 2: scariest thing that can happen happen where I'm standing there 21 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,279 Speaker 2: and I heard my name, Leslie, and you just don't 22 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 2: know what you're turning into when you turn. And I 23 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 2: was so happy it was you and I got to 24 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: see Lola who you know that to me like I 25 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 2: could cry and thinking about it, just because you would 26 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 2: bring Lola to work when she was an infant and 27 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 2: then a toddler. And she's the most beautiful baby and 28 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 2: is now the most like stunning ethereal Like, ah, thank you, Angel, 29 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 2: I mean she really her whole vibe. She's like an angel. 30 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: I'm so happy to see you too. 31 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 2: She's like a doll face. And you just have you 32 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 2: have the best girls, the nicest girls. And you know, 33 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 2: my daughter and your daughter are friendly, which is so 34 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 2: cute because they totally did that. 35 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: I know your Goldie is friends with my Fiona. They're 36 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: both about the same age. And how did these kids 37 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: these days know each other without anybody else involved, Like, 38 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: I guess it's the social me. 39 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 2: It is it is. It's My daughter knows every single 40 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,239 Speaker 2: child her age in her grade, freshman in college, the 41 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 2: year below. 42 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: I mean, like they only in every school, That's right. 43 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 2: That's what's so crazy is I'm from Los Angeles. I 44 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 2: knew everyone in my grade and like two kids from 45 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 2: another school now everybody knows everybody, and I think that 46 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 2: is horrible, But then I think it's all so cute 47 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 2: and it's exactly why they're friends. So I aspect I 48 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 2: support that. 49 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: I can you imagine having to know everybody in all 50 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: the places. 51 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,799 Speaker 2: It's hard enough to be a teenager and to be 52 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,799 Speaker 2: a girl, and then having all that whatever, that's a 53 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 2: different story for another time. Anyway, it's so nice to 54 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,679 Speaker 2: see you, and it was so fun to get to 55 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 2: run into you. And you also look like so beautiful 56 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 2: coming off this like fly. I was like, that's annoying. 57 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 2: Why do you look so fresh? 58 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 1: Stop it? I was wearing a big hat, that's why. 59 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 2: So cute. 60 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: Wait, you dropped a bomb on me right there in 61 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: the airport baggage claim, Yes, and you told me. Can 62 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: I say, you know. 63 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: What's funny is I actually have not spoken about it yet, 64 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:03,839 Speaker 2: But you can say. 65 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want to ru ruin 66 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: your moment. 67 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: You guys say, no, I am engaged, which is so fun. 68 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: Now are engaged? 69 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 2: I am. So that's a wild thing that I didn't 70 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 2: see coming nothing. I didn't see it coming with this person. 71 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 2: I just didn't see any of this next chapter of 72 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 2: my life coming and you know. 73 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: Who does though, Oh my god, I'm so happy for you. 74 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 2: So sweet, thank you. I'm happy for me too. He's 75 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 2: a wonderful person. And it's funny that this is the 76 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 2: first time I'm talking about it publicly general and it's 77 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: so funny because I've known you for many many years, 78 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 2: you know me and my earlier iteration, so that you know, 79 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 2: we get to see each other how we are now. 80 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 2: I mean, it's a trip to be the age that 81 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 2: I am. 82 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: Yes and me, but this is like the best ever 83 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: start to this amazing second chapter of your life, because 84 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: you're going to be an empty nester before you know it. 85 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 2: I mean, it's not you were smart because you had 86 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 2: three kids, laid the pain. You delayed the pain like 87 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 2: I only have one. It's going to be hard and terrible. 88 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 2: And you know, it's so annoying to her because I'll 89 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 2: just like, we'll be having dinner and I'll just stare 90 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 2: at her and she's like, could you stop staring at me? 91 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm just trying to drink you in. 92 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't imagine having you as a mom. 93 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: I would be laughing all the time. At you, not 94 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: with you, at you. 95 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 2: Yes, And I think Goldie would agree with that. There 96 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 2: is a lot laughing at me. That is fair, But 97 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,720 Speaker 2: it's you know what I was thinking. You know, when 98 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 2: they're little and it's so hard, like you're in it 99 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 2: and they're like four, and you have so much going 100 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 2: on and you're so tired, and you're like, I won't 101 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 2: make it to bedtime today. I pay so much money. 102 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 2: One hour with Goldie at four years old. 103 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I say that all the time. I 104 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 1: would rather go back to the diapers and a heartbeat. 105 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 2: A heart beat and every cliche that everyone says. And 106 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: you know, this is the truth. It's like, what she's 107 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 2: my daughter's about to be eighteen next month, Like what 108 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 2: I mean, Look, you sent me that picture. Jenny sent 109 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 2: me a picture took Goldie over. I mean they were 110 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 2: I don't know, six months old, nine months. I couldn't 111 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 2: tell from that picture they were infants. And I remember 112 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 2: that day that felt like fifteen minutes ago. 113 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 1: I know, we're just sitting on the couch holding our 114 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: babies on. 115 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 2: I remember going to your house and it was so 116 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,679 Speaker 2: cute and they were all playing together, and I remember 117 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 2: Lola was reading to us, like I remember it so clearly. 118 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 2: And I also remember looking at Lola and being like, god, 119 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 2: Goldie will when is Goldie ever going to be that age? 120 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 2: That seems like one hundred years. 121 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: She was like, oh, yeah. 122 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 2: Now Goldie's texting me like I won't be home for 123 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 2: dinner and who knows when you'll see me. 124 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: I know, it's such a trip. It's such parentoed. Motherhood 125 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: is such a trip. 126 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 2: That is it is? Anyway, Yes, it is a very 127 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 2: lucky and wonderful next chapter. But I mean, look, my 128 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 2: whole life got reorganized around my fiftieth birthday and everything 129 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 2: got thrown up into the air and it sort of 130 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 2: fell to the ground. And I was like very intense 131 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 2: about deciding what I was going to pick up and 132 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,359 Speaker 2: what I was going to That doesn't come with me anymore. 133 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: So at fifty, that's when you got a divorce. 134 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 2: Well, I yeah, I mean I guess we broke up 135 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:14,160 Speaker 2: when I was forty eight, forty nine ish, but fifty, 136 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 2: a few things happened. And I don't want to like 137 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 2: get too intense right away. And you didn't even ask this, 138 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 2: but with a very short span I was married for 139 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 2: almost twenty one years, that ended. And by the way, 140 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 2: I don't know if you know this, kids love it 141 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 2: when you get divorced. 142 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 1: Wait what, Oh, I don't know if you know. 143 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 2: Oh, you don't know that. 144 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,360 Speaker 1: I know it in certain circumstances. I think I know 145 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: what you're talking about. 146 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, my daughter did not love it. And it was 147 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,600 Speaker 2: also the first month of the pandemic shut down and 148 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 2: she was thirteen years old, so the timing of it 149 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,159 Speaker 2: was as bad as it could have been. And then 150 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 2: pretty shortly after that, and this is really like I'm 151 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 2: really getting dark. Sister in law died. This was my 152 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 2: brother's wife. 153 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: Died so close you were, she was my sister. 154 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 2: I mean, it's devastating in ways because when it's out 155 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 2: of war death than a young person who should never 156 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 2: have died from a terrible illness and they have young parents, 157 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 2: just awful. But you know, you have a choice. And 158 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 2: when all of this stuff happens, I just decided that 159 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 2: I was going to have to be brave. That I 160 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 2: hadn't been brave in the past, and I regretted that, 161 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 2: and I decided I was going to be brave, and 162 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 2: I felt like I had a very hard reset. And 163 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 2: also for my sister in law. She would have been like, 164 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 2: what are you doing? Get up, go do something amazing, 165 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 2: like get it going. So she was actually like an 166 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 2: incredible motivator for this next phase of my life. 167 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: I love that that you are able to take, you know, 168 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: losing her and turn that into something that motivates you. 169 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: And that like the connection didn't end just because she died. 170 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 2: It didn't happen immediately. I mean you have to understand. 171 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 2: There was where I was like at the depths of 172 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:56,119 Speaker 2: going through the divorce, Oh my god, and it was like, oh, okay, 173 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 2: I'm going to look from a car crash to like 174 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 2: someone getting murdered in front. It was just a rough, 175 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 2: rough period. But you know what I have to say, 176 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 2: I had the greatest support from my family and friends. 177 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 2: I couldn't have had more support, but amazing therapist and 178 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 2: the therapist. Even with all that support from everybody else 179 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 2: around me, it was my therapist too pretty much saved 180 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 2: my life, who was like, yeah, you're gonna have to 181 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 2: get up now, like we're done and now you go 182 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 2: got to get up. 183 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: And now wait, how long have you been seeing this therapist. 184 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 2: For so long? I love her? 185 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, can you text me her? 186 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,719 Speaker 2: Name. Oh my god, she's so brilliant. I mean, I 187 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 2: would say have been seeing her for the better part 188 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,440 Speaker 2: of twenty years and not consistently. But what's so nice 189 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 2: about that is she knows me from right and have 190 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 2: a long time ago. But she was incredibly helpful. Well, 191 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 2: I just really launched. 192 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,959 Speaker 1: Into this and now, okay, so thank you for being 193 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 1: on the show. Bye bye. 194 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 2: I've covered death, divorce, my therapist, my daughter in college. 195 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 2: What else do you want to get into you? 196 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 1: This is what it's like when we talk though, Like 197 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 1: I'm right back on the set with you immediately. 198 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 2: That's great. 199 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. We just go for it. 200 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: I just sometimes I like to start the beginning because 201 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 1: I like to get to know you, and I like 202 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: everybody that's listening to get to know you from the 203 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 1: beginning a little bit. So let's rewind for just a second. 204 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 1: You grew up in La ye, did you always want 205 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: to be an actress? 206 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 2: I mean I think it was something that always appealed 207 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,679 Speaker 2: to me. You have to understand, I grew up in 208 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 2: a very nerdy Jewish family and sell me, Oh my god, 209 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 2: my parents were like intellectual dorsay that with all the 210 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 2: love in the world, like just not had no interest 211 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 2: in pop culture, didn't know anything. Like I always knew 212 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,959 Speaker 2: somebody was enormously famous. If my mother knew who they were, 213 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, this has gotten to my mom. 214 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: Which means is like a big deal. 215 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. I was not allowed to watch television, Like 216 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 2: the only stuff we watched was like Walter Cronkite and 217 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 2: election returns and you know, things like that. So it 218 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 2: was they sort of assumed, well, you'll go be an attorney, 219 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 2: or you'll be an architect, or you'll be a social 220 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 2: worker or a rabbi, which is what my mother begged 221 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 2: me to do when I told her I was officially 222 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 2: going to try to be an actor, with tears in 223 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 2: her eyes, M he's try to be a rabbi. It's 224 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 2: like performing just. 225 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,839 Speaker 1: Because kind of yeah. 226 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 2: So it was a thought in my head, but not 227 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 2: something I thought was a possibility or realistic. Nobody in 228 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 2: my family was in the business. It was an attorney 229 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 2: who worked in some ways sometimes with entertainment, but he 230 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 2: wasn't in the business in any way. And so I 231 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 2: had a very normal upbringing. So but they shouldn't have 232 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 2: brought me up the Los Angeles and sent me a crossroads. 233 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 2: It's their fault, that was. 234 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: Their mistake, right, Okay, I know, I know you've talked 235 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: about this before, and I know I know about it, 236 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 1: but I don't know if you're comfortable talking about that 237 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: you were adopted. 238 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 2: Oh yes, oh yeah. It's my favorite thing to talk 239 00:10:58,559 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 2: about because. 240 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 1: When you talk about it, because you ended up with 241 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:06,840 Speaker 1: the most beautiful, perfect situation and your life just was amazing. 242 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: And I just because everyone out there so much hope 243 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 1: because you were adopted out of foster care. Right I was, 244 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: And how old were you? 245 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 2: I was only ten weeks old, so it wasn't like 246 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,959 Speaker 2: I spent a long time. But look, I was in 247 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 2: foster care in La County in the early seventies. It 248 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 2: was not like it is today. There was no private 249 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 2: adoption then. But you know, first of all, November which 250 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 2: is coming up as National Adoption Month, and so I 251 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 2: always like to talk about the stuff. So I hope 252 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 2: you brought it up. But the reason I like to 253 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 2: talk about it is, you know, particularly when I was 254 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 2: growing up, adoption was discussed in this like very modeling, 255 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 2: sad way, and you know, there was this book and 256 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: look don't come at me. I don't want to get 257 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 2: your emails about this. If it helped you, great God bless. 258 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 2: But there was a book that came out many, many 259 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 2: years ago called The Adoption Wound, and the book essentially states, 260 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 2: you're fucked if you're adopted, you're a mess. You got 261 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 2: this horrible hole in your heart. It'll never be filled, 262 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 2: and it's why you have all these problems and you 263 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,319 Speaker 2: can blame everything. 264 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 1: And wait, wait, wait, was the book trying to help 265 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: you or just label you? I think it was trying 266 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: to help you, but it didn't help you. 267 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 2: It never that never resonated with me. I never had 268 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 2: a moment where I looked in the mirror and felt 269 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 2: like there's something missing. You know. It's very funny, Jenny, 270 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 2: my birth family found me on Instagram. 271 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: Really I was going to ask you if you'd ever 272 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: dug in there. 273 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 2: It did and it was my birth sister's daughter. So 274 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 2: my birth niece, I guess is what you would call. 275 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 2: Her message me on Instagram and was like, Hi, I 276 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 2: think you are my mom's sister. And you know, we 277 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 2: went and got DNA tests and she was, in fact 278 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 2: my sister and I have met her and we are 279 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 2: in contact, and I have to say she is the 280 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 2: loveliest person. She is so nice, she has wonderful daughters, 281 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 2: she's a grandmother like she is fantastic, and I'm so 282 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 2: happy to have met her. But I didn't feel like 283 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 2: and this is not I'm sure she probably felt the 284 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 2: same way about me. I didn't feel like, now I 285 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 2: get it and I and this hole has been filled. 286 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: I felt like, this is a very nice person who's 287 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 2: a stranger to me, who we have incredible connection. That 288 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 2: means something, and I think that's great, and I have 289 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 2: only the best of feelings about her. But you know, 290 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,079 Speaker 2: my family's my family, so and then you know, I 291 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 2: adopted my daughter. 292 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: So it did Oh my god, Okay stop for a second. 293 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: One day we were at work and you didn't have 294 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: a baby, and then one day you came and you 295 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: had a baby. I was like, what is happening? Well, 296 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: it seems so fast for me. 297 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,680 Speaker 2: I don't fast for me too, Jenny. That was so Yes, 298 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 2: it was a very ridiculous thing where we actually found 299 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,959 Speaker 2: out about her the day that she was born, and 300 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 2: she was in our home the next day. It was wild. 301 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: I mean it was crazy. 302 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:01,200 Speaker 2: The circumstances were bananas in very very last minute and overwhelming. 303 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 2: And I'm the kind of person that like when I 304 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 2: get like a new handbag first, so I researched that 305 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 2: handbag for like about six months. Then when I get it, 306 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,080 Speaker 2: I like leave it in my closet to get used 307 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 2: to the new environment and like make sure it's comfortable 308 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,560 Speaker 2: with all its friends. Like that's a handbag a child, 309 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 2: like with no warning. 310 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: So you're saying you're a planner, I'm. 311 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 2: A little bit of a planner. And speaking of my 312 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 2: sister in law, what she did was I have a 313 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 2: niece who's three years older than my daughter. My sister 314 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 2: in law stayed up all night long washing all her 315 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 2: baby clothes, getting her bass and out ready, and the 316 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 2: next day I literally had everything I basically needed to 317 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 2: have a newborn baby in the house. So it was 318 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 2: a complete last minute surprise, ridiculous thing. That is like 319 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 2: the best thing that's ever happened. And if you know 320 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 2: my daughter, I mean she was meant to be my lady. 321 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 2: So it's very goldie. It's very cool to be adopted 322 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 2: and adopt I love that I get to have that 323 00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 2: full circle. 324 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: That's really really powerful. 325 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 2: It is and also you know, it's so funny because 326 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 2: I've met so many people that have like fertility issues 327 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 2: or whatever, and they'll just say to me, adoption is 328 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 2: not an option. They're like, it's just it's too unknown 329 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 2: for me. And I'm comfortable, and I don't know. Somebody 330 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 2: once said to me, I'll never forget it. They were like, 331 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 2: you know, you just you don't know what you're going 332 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 2: to get, as if having your own biological child, you 333 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 2: know what you're going to get. Did Jeffrey Dahmer's parents 334 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 2: know what they were going to get? I don't think so. 335 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: Good point. 336 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 2: It's just such a ridiculous thing to me. And you know, 337 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 2: I'm not like a hyper religious person, but I do 338 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 2: think it's sort of like the closest thing I've ever 339 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 2: experienced to a religious experience is having that connection with 340 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 2: a person who is not that didn't come from my body, 341 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 2: but feels so much like my person. 342 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: So you too, are so alike, it's wild. 343 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 2: He hates hearing that. 344 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean, I hate to look completely 345 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: the same like you look like you gave birth to her. 346 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy? And the funny thing is that I 347 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 2: wouldn't have cared whatever you know, my kid ended up 348 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 2: looking like I had no preference. I didn't care. This 349 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 2: just literally she kind of fell from the sky into 350 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 2: her lap. So it all is an incredible, wonderful thing. 351 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 2: And you just don't ever know what's the round. 352 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 1: You don't ever know, you don't ever know. Oh my god, 353 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: I know that you lost your father too. I lost 354 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: my father. I know what a pain that is. And 355 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 1: I loved your dad a little time I got to 356 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: spend with him. 357 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 2: Your dad was your man, like he was your dude, 358 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 2: you know, And when you lose your dude, it is 359 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 2: a brutal it's real, and it doesn't met. My dad 360 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 2: was eighty four, he was very ill. It doesn't matter, 361 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 2: Like it does not matter. And you know, how long 362 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 2: has it been since you lost your dad? 363 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: More than ten years? Yeah, but it doesn't get any 364 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 1: I mean it does, like the trauma of it sort 365 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 1: of slowly subsides. But like it's been a year for you, 366 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: where would you say that you are in your grief process? 367 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 2: Wow, Jenny, you asked such good questions. So, you know, 368 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 2: my dad was very ill, and particularly the last year 369 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 2: was so awful and he was suffering and so by 370 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 2: extension suffering. So I think I would never say that 371 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 2: I felt like relief that my dad was gone, but 372 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 2: I felt relief that he was no longer in pain. 373 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 2: And also what my mother endured because she was the 374 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 2: single most dedicated caretaker I have ever seen in my life, 375 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 2: and her entire life existed to take care of my father, 376 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 2: and so there was a part of me that felt like, 377 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 2: he is no longer in terrible pain, my mother is 378 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 2: not having I mean, she never slept, she never ate. 379 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 2: I mean, it was but what I realized was that 380 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:50,679 Speaker 2: sort of relief was almost like an anesthesia that it 381 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 2: kind of hung around for a little bit, and then 382 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 2: that started to wear off, and then I was like, well, 383 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 2: that's horrible that that happened to him, and that now 384 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 2: he's gone. So I feel I had a little bit 385 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 2: of a freak out on the day of the anniversary 386 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 2: of his death where I got really emotional. But you know, 387 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 2: I'm trying to lean into being really, really really grateful 388 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,920 Speaker 2: for what I had. That's what I'm trying to lean into. Also, 389 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:23,879 Speaker 2: when your parents die, it's inevitable that you're like, oh, 390 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 2: who's uh, who's next in line? Huh, That's that's me 391 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 2: I'm next. Oh that's really dark, and I know it 392 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 2: won't be. 393 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 1: A very long time, but the point is that it 394 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 1: does it. You have to face mortality in a completely 395 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: different way. 396 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,840 Speaker 2: Very confronting. I don't like it, but you know, every 397 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 2: single person on the face of the. 398 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:45,880 Speaker 1: Earth is gonna go through it. 399 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 2: Well, that's right. Life comes for everybody, and so life 400 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 2: came from me kind of hard, very close together. But 401 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 2: what are you gonna do, Jenny? 402 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I can relate. I had just come 403 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,199 Speaker 1: off like kind of a high point, and then my 404 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 1: daughter Lola actually got very very ill. And this was when, yeah, 405 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,360 Speaker 1: I think we were already done with the show. When 406 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: she was five years old, and I thought she was 407 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,440 Speaker 1: going to die like Peter and I thought we were 408 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: losing her. And then right after that, right after she 409 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:19,360 Speaker 1: started to get better, my dad passed away. And then 410 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 1: you know, just those bad things, they kind of keep 411 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 1: hitting you while you're down. I don't know what it. 412 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 2: Is about that they do come close together. I feel 413 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 2: like in a weird way that sort of like happens 414 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 2: in life, Like it's almost like a portal gets opened 415 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 2: ment all. Yeah, Genny, stuff happens, and. 416 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 1: I'm always scared when one bad thing happens, because then 417 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,639 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, what's next. Yeah, it usually 418 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 1: happens in threes, That's what they say. 419 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 2: Okay, well we're done with that now. 420 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 1: So let's be over it. Well, So, I'm sorry for 421 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,239 Speaker 1: your loss. I know how much he meant to you, 422 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 1: and I'm just really sorry. 423 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,439 Speaker 2: I appreciate that because I know you know what it 424 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 2: feels like. So and it does means something when somebody 425 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 2: who like you know, really loved their dad and really 426 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,879 Speaker 2: had like a really special and good connection with their dad. 427 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 2: That when someone will say to me I understand, I'm like, 428 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,920 Speaker 2: I know you do, and that makes it better. It does. 429 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: Let me ask you one more question about this. I 430 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: found that it didn't well, I always feel this way 431 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 1: with death of someone that I love, that it doesn't 432 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: feel real for so long, Like it just I feel 433 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 1: like I'm gonna see him again, or the phone's gonna ring, 434 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 1: it's gonna be them, and I I feel like I'm 435 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 1: there's that period of time where it just I don't 436 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: accept it. Did you experience that? 437 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,440 Speaker 2: I think, first of all, I think that is such 438 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 2: a like relatable thing to say I felt my dad 439 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 2: was such an outsized personality, and he took up such 440 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,160 Speaker 2: big space in my life. He was the single biggest 441 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 2: influence on me, and I went to him for his 442 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 2: guidance and his counsel over everything that It was almost 443 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 2: like I was like, how does he can't die? Someone 444 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 2: like that doesn't die, They don't just cease to exist. 445 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 2: How is that possible? So that I think was my 446 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 2: version of being in disbelief, like how is this person 447 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 2: out here? And there's every day where I'm like, God, 448 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,959 Speaker 2: I wish I could ask you about this or that 449 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,120 Speaker 2: or what is a Pina thinks about that? 450 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,240 Speaker 1: Do you feel closer? Because people told me this too 451 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,800 Speaker 1: that first of all, they said a little git easier, 452 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 1: it won't hurt so bad, which I was like, fuck you, 453 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: you don't know what you're talking about. But there are 454 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 1: also people that said that you'll start to feel him 455 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 1: all around you, and I was like, he's dead. There's 456 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,919 Speaker 1: no way I can feel him. And that irritated me 457 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: so badly. But I did find that after time, whenever 458 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: I'm in the wind, whenever the wind is around me, 459 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like goosebumps right now because 460 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: he knows I'm talking about him, but I can feel 461 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 1: him so strongly, and now it's as if I have 462 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: and not just with my dad, with other people that 463 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: I've loved that passed away, Like I have a direct 464 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,200 Speaker 1: connection with speaking to them anytime I want. It's not 465 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: like I'm going to call them and ask for advice 466 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 1: and they're gonna be like, let me call you later. 467 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 1: You know, if you talk to them after they've died, 468 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: it feels like there's so much closer somehow do you 469 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 1: feel that way? 470 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 2: I completely relate to what you're saying. And look, it's 471 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 2: like scientifically proven, like people are energy, and that energy 472 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 2: and that love is a real living thing and something 473 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 2: I really appreciate In Judaism. Judaism actually has an incredibly 474 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 2: smart set of rules around when people die, how long 475 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 2: you know, you're not supposed to do this thing called 476 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,400 Speaker 2: sitting shiva where you don't you don't leave your house 477 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 2: for seven days and people come and you cover the 478 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 2: mirrors because you're not supposed to think about vanity or anything. 479 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 2: And then after seven days you are to take a 480 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 2: walk around the block. The family is like, Okay, this 481 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 2: is now signifying to the community it is over, yes, 482 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 2: And then there's all these things you do in the 483 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 2: first year to sort of mark whatever, and then on 484 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 2: their your anniversary, you have the unveiling of their grave, 485 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 2: their tombstone. So it's very sort of like okay, like 486 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 2: they're very into the markers of time that's passed. But 487 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 2: something they do that I really appreciate is weew just 488 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 2: don't embalm the body, and you must be buried within 489 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 2: forty eight hours. You have to get in the ground 490 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,920 Speaker 2: because their feelings. As soon as you die, your soul 491 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 2: that's all that matters. Your body is meaningless. All that 492 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,159 Speaker 2: matters is the soul. And I believe that that is 493 00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 2: energy that lives on that love that my dad had 494 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 2: for me, and I have for my dad that hasn't 495 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 2: gone anywherewhere. That's still with me. Your love that you 496 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 2: have for your dad, that he had for you is 497 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 2: always with you and in you, and now it's with 498 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,400 Speaker 2: your children, and it's you know, it goes all through 499 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: every single aspect of your life. So yes, I do 500 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,439 Speaker 2: feel that because I still feel how much he loved me, 501 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 2: very very much. That being said, I would like to 502 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 2: still pick up the phone and have a conversation with him. 503 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,399 Speaker 2: For that to the feeling of him being around. 504 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. 505 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 2: But I think that's a very real thing. And I 506 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 2: don't think that's hippy dippy. I don't think that's woo woo. 507 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 2: I don't think that's you know, bullshit. I think that 508 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 2: is very real and concrete feeling that you have when 509 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 2: you have real love and connection with someone. I feel 510 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 2: like with my sister in law too. I have a picture, 511 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 2: you know, I have pictures of her everywhere, and I 512 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,880 Speaker 2: have one in my bathroom. So every single morning when 513 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 2: I wake up, she's sort of the first and last 514 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,200 Speaker 2: thing I see, and I always I'm like, Shannon, what 515 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,879 Speaker 2: are we going to do? They go talk to her picture. 516 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,880 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, can you believe this? Could 517 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 2: you hear about that? And it's like I can almost 518 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 2: feel like I'm half so, you know, I think that 519 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,879 Speaker 2: stuff is so important to lean into. Why I deny 520 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,200 Speaker 2: yourself that, you know? And I love that you feel 521 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 2: that when there's that you feel your dad. I think 522 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 2: that's so like fantastic. Yeah. 523 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,320 Speaker 1: I love that you talk to her every morning every morning. Okay, 524 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,240 Speaker 1: let's switch gears. I could talk about Graef for a 525 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: very long time. Can you believe that our show what 526 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 1: I Like about You started twenty two years ago. 527 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 2: I really can't. I mean I really can't. 528 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: I had a baby on that show. You had a 529 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 1: baby on that show. 530 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 2: It's wild, it is crazy. I can't believe how quickly 531 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 2: it's gone. You know that that really was one of 532 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 2: my most favorite work experiences of my entire life. I 533 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,120 Speaker 2: think about it all the time, and I still get 534 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:25,119 Speaker 2: feedback from people. Constant toute were up watching it. It 535 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:29,199 Speaker 2: was like their comfort show. People love that show. I 536 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,719 Speaker 2: mean literally all the time, people say, I'm sure they 537 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:32,640 Speaker 2: say it to you all the time. 538 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:36,359 Speaker 1: Yes, So people of a certain age, like I have 539 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 1: my nine to two one oog fans. 540 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,959 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean you are like so critical to so 541 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 2: many people. It's so many. 542 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 1: Then there's like ten years younger, and they were so 543 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,159 Speaker 1: hooked on what I like about you because it was 544 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 1: such a good show. We had so much fun. Every 545 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,160 Speaker 1: one of us, I think probably said the same thing, 546 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,439 Speaker 1: like it was our one of our favorite experiences working absolutely. 547 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 2: And you know, I have a very distinct memory of 548 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 2: working on that show, and I was walking up the stairs. 549 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,400 Speaker 2: For people who don't know, it was a multicam which 550 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 2: almost doesn't exist anymore, which is so sad, and it 551 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,000 Speaker 2: was a favorite, favorite kind of work that I never 552 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 2: get to do. And you know, the stage was on 553 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,440 Speaker 2: the first floor, and then our dressing rooms were upstairs. 554 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 2: And I remember one day walking up to my dressing 555 00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 2: room and I just had this like feeling where I 556 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 2: was like, I feel very grateful for this. I feel very, 557 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 2: very very grateful to be here and for this, And 558 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 2: I felt that all the time on that job. I 559 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,919 Speaker 2: just loved who I worked with. It was sort of 560 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,479 Speaker 2: a joyous place to be and it was fun and 561 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 2: we just like, you. 562 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 1: Know, I know, right going to work and having a 563 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:39,360 Speaker 1: good time and laughing instead of being scary or murdered 564 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 1: or all your things, I feel. 565 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,400 Speaker 2: Like committing murders, running for murders. But not only that, 566 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 2: because of the way that those shows are filmed, you 567 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,440 Speaker 2: have a quality of life in your home with your kids. 568 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,439 Speaker 2: Your kids could come to work and hang out and 569 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 2: it was like completely great to have them there. So 570 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 2: that was also something that was really nice that you 571 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 2: it felt more kind of like a normal job in. 572 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 1: A way, you know, like it was called banker hours, 573 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 1: like you would. 574 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 2: Be in traffic driving home, and like there was one 575 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,080 Speaker 2: night that we worked till like ten, you know, when 576 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 2: we shot in front of the audience, But that's I mean, god, 577 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 2: as you know, working non multiicam ten o'clock wrapping on 578 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,200 Speaker 2: a Friday night as early. So anyway, it was my favorite. 579 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 1: I love it. 580 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 3: Oh. 581 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,199 Speaker 1: I loved having you there because you came in on 582 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:22,919 Speaker 1: the second season. 583 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 2: Was that I did, and as a guest star of 584 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 2: the first season, and then I came back as a 585 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,159 Speaker 2: regular on the second season, which was such a gift. 586 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 1: Oh. I was so excited to have you there to 587 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 1: play with because I felt like we were the grown 588 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 1: ups a few recall, and I didn't like that feeling 589 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,120 Speaker 1: because I was not had never had that feeling before, 590 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 1: and so I was so happy to have a fellow 591 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: grown up with me to play with every day and 592 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,680 Speaker 1: to do these fun scenes with. We had so much fun. 593 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,240 Speaker 2: Oh my god, No, we really did, like for real, 594 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,240 Speaker 2: for real, and you were so lovely to me and 595 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 2: like welcoming and like come on in. And that was 596 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 2: I mean, it was sort of because it was sort 597 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 2: of divided between the adults and the kids young, which 598 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 2: that's fine, Like that was super fun. I leaned into 599 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 2: the aunt sassy of it all. 600 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:13,120 Speaker 1: You know, like, yep, you took on the ant sassy 601 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 1: and I was like the big sister. That wasn't that fun? 602 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 2: Yes, but we I mean that also like I was 603 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:24,880 Speaker 2: such a true idiot that character, which you don't. I've 604 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,960 Speaker 2: really I've cornered the market. I'm playing actual insane people 605 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 2: and I don't find myself to be personally insane, but 606 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 2: I do seem to lean into that very comfortably. So 607 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 2: I don't know what that says about me. 608 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 1: There's this there's this part about you that you you 609 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,720 Speaker 1: are on the fly all the time, Like that makes sense, 610 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 1: like you I never know what's going to come out 611 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: of your mouth, which I love people like that. It 612 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: keeps things fresh and exciting. And so I feel like 613 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: you're in You're kookie, You're you're a little kookie, and 614 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: those are all the best qualities in somebody. 615 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 2: So well, I appreciate that, but pretty high up in 616 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 2: my book, Well you're high at my book. But I 617 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 2: think that you and I had really good chemistry and 618 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 2: we played all yeah super well. And I think I 619 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 2: also felt like the way that everybody felt about each 620 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 2: other on that show really came through, Like we genuinely 621 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 2: enjoyed being around each other, and so I felt like 622 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,680 Speaker 2: that absolutely translated and why people responded the way that 623 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 2: they did. 624 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 1: Should we do a reboot? 625 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 2: I mean, look, Jenny, if the money we've talked about it, 626 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 2: Oh look, I am all about nostalgia TV. I think 627 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 2: that stuff is fun, and if it was a wonderful 628 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,400 Speaker 2: script and the right mix, then I'm open to any 629 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 2: and all things. 630 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: I know. I know we've talked about it before, and 631 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 1: there's certain, you know, reasons why we can't do it 632 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: the way it was done. But we had so much fun. 633 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: And you're right, the art, the multi camera art is 634 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: so close to dying. 635 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 2: I agree, and I have to say, like I do 636 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 2: think for everybody involved in that show, it was a 637 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 2: real sweet spot, you know what I mean, where people 638 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 2: were really at their best, and so you know, that's 639 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 2: such a I want to articulate this in a good way. 640 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 2: I have so much affection for that part of our lives, 641 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 2: and that just amongst the cast, that everybody was sort 642 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 2: of firing on all cylinders and everybody had such great 643 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 2: chemistry together. So yes, I am open to all the things. 644 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: Jenny, let's talk, Okay, So this is a burning question 645 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 1: of mine. What is the deal with you and Ryan Murphy. 646 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: You've worked with them like two hundred times at least. 647 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 1: Well you got did you go to high school? What's 648 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 1: happening with this Ryan? 649 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 2: I met before? What I like about you? I met 650 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 2: Ryan in nineteen ninety eight in the casting process for 651 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 2: a show called Popular. We just instantly hit it off. 652 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 2: This was my first series, it was Ryan's first series. 653 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 2: Nobody had any idea who he was. And he I mean, 654 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 2: I hate to use this term, it's super cheesy, but 655 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 2: I do feel that he is, you know, a soulmate 656 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,640 Speaker 2: of mine in many ways. We share a very similar 657 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 2: worldview and what we think is funny, and you know, 658 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 2: he's just this incredibly brilliant but also hilarious human being. 659 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 2: And we just hit it off instantly, and this friendship 660 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 2: has endured. And I have to say, I never ever, 661 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 2: ever expected to work with him for all of these years. 662 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,800 Speaker 2: The work part was sort of secondary. We met at work, 663 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 2: but you meet lots of people at work, and you 664 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 2: never work friends. 665 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: You don't think you're gonna work with them for forty years, like. 666 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,560 Speaker 2: You know, so well, it's not quite forty years. Don't 667 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 2: age me. 668 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I almost, but. 669 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 2: I never and so each time we work together, I'm like, Okay, 670 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 2: like I think that's so exciting, but I've never expected it. 671 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,720 Speaker 2: I've never assumed if we'd only ever done that first 672 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,560 Speaker 2: series together, that would have been enough, Like that would 673 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:12,120 Speaker 2: have been plenty. He gave me my opportunity to be 674 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 2: in my very first series. So I feel so so 675 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 2: so lucky that I that is one of those things 676 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,760 Speaker 2: that's just timing, the stars aligning, that is this right time. 677 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 2: I just happened to be a certain age at a 678 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 2: certain time and appropriate for a certain whatever, and we 679 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 2: cross paths, and it's just been the most wonderful friendship, 680 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 2: not just creatively but also personally. You know, we've both 681 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 2: been through so much, and you know, he's a dad 682 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,640 Speaker 2: and like the most committed parent, and I love his 683 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 2: children so much, and he is so good to my daughter. 684 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 2: And when Goldie had her first real breakup, anything I 685 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 2: talked to her about, she was like, you just don't 686 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 2: get like she just didn't want to hear it from me. 687 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 2: Had one conversation with her and she was like, that 688 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 2: was the best advice I've ever gotten. And so he's 689 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 2: very been very wonderful and good to my daughter. So 690 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,720 Speaker 2: you know, they have the same birthday, GOLDI and Ryan 691 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:08,479 Speaker 2: have the same birthday. 692 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 1: Okay, that's getting weirder. Then it's so good though. 693 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,480 Speaker 2: And they're both it's November ninth. They're both hardcore scorpios. 694 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,520 Speaker 2: I'm telling you like and by the way, both of 695 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 2: them are triple scorpios. So I feel like the universe 696 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 2: is like ha ha. 697 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 1: From both sides. You're getting it. But you've worked with them, 698 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 1: I know for people that aren't listening, just want to 699 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 1: like remind them with popular nip tuck, the new not 700 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 1: have a list here the new normal American horror stories. 701 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 2: But how many I've done six seasons of horror story 702 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 2: port story. I just worked with him on Menendez. 703 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, Hi, can we talk about that please? 704 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:46,200 Speaker 3: Sure? 705 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 2: Please would love. 706 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 1: To talk about monsters. It's so good. It's so good, 707 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,360 Speaker 1: The Lyle and Eric Menenda story. It's out now on Netflix, 708 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 1: and if you haven't watched it, you need to crawl 709 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,240 Speaker 1: out from under the rock that you're living in and 710 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,920 Speaker 1: go and watch it. You are so incredible as my 711 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 1: favorite character, judelan Am I saying all right, yes, judelan Smith, Yeah, 712 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,719 Speaker 1: I did not know you were going to be in it. 713 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,239 Speaker 1: I was watching and I was like, oh my god, 714 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:12,600 Speaker 1: there's Leslie. 715 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 2: I just saw it. 716 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,560 Speaker 1: I just saw her at airport. It was like this 717 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:19,120 Speaker 1: weird full circle moment. You were so so good. 718 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 2: You're very kind. The look was very intense. You know, 719 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,920 Speaker 2: it's it's a wig, it's in nineteen eighty nine clothes. 720 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,080 Speaker 2: She's a very specific person, you know, because I'm from 721 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,320 Speaker 2: Los Angeles and I was in high school when that happened, 722 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,719 Speaker 2: and actually several friends who were in school with Eric, 723 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,800 Speaker 2: and this was, you know, two miles from where I 724 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:42,320 Speaker 2: grew up. So this this news was huge nationally and internationally. Locally, 725 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,239 Speaker 2: it was like all anyone could think about her talk 726 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 2: about And so I really watched that case very closely 727 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 2: when it happened. And then wasn't the first one that 728 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 2: aired on Court TV. I feel like I should know this, 729 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,040 Speaker 2: but it was one of the first things that aired 730 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,920 Speaker 2: in its entirety on Court TV, and I watched whenever 731 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,880 Speaker 2: I could. And I remember or this character that I 732 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,239 Speaker 2: play in the show, Judelan Smith Hilly. She was a 733 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:11,799 Speaker 2: very unique character and person and her testimony was really outrageous. 734 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 2: So I remember it very clearly and Thankfully, all of 735 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 2: that testimony is available on YouTube, so I was able 736 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,440 Speaker 2: to watch all of it and find it of it. 737 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 2: But to get to be a part of this was 738 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,360 Speaker 2: really incredible and phenomenal. But it was mostly just to 739 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:30,399 Speaker 2: watch Cooper Kotch and Nicholas Chavez, who play Lyell and Eric. 740 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,120 Speaker 2: I mean, to watch their performances and to get to 741 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 2: be around that and just knowing like, oh, wow, your 742 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 2: entire lives are going to change as soon as this errors, 743 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,840 Speaker 2: and it has. But they're so talented and so good, 744 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,240 Speaker 2: and so that was really cool to get to watch 745 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 2: their incredible hard work and then for the world to 746 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 2: see it and really respond to that. 747 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:55,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody remembers that happening in the nineties. I was 748 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 1: working through it. I was playing a character that went 749 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:03,280 Speaker 1: to the same school as him. So yeah, So and that's. 750 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 2: When your show was, I mean, as huge as huge 751 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,800 Speaker 2: could be. And you know what's so funny, Jenny, I 752 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,240 Speaker 2: think about this all the time. What was the average 753 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,200 Speaker 2: number of a Nino two and zero show when it aired? 754 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,600 Speaker 2: How many people were watching that on an average night? 755 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,880 Speaker 1: Not that many because it was on Fox, which was 756 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: a network. 757 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 2: Eighteen million. 758 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, probably, Okay, do you understand to. 759 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 2: Me, that's not enough, but eighteen million views, that would 760 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,440 Speaker 2: be a hit in a way that like you would 761 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 2: hear executives screaming, like across the canyons of Los Angeles. 762 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,640 Speaker 2: I mean that the numbers that your show got were 763 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,239 Speaker 2: so massive, but just culturally it was so huge, and 764 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:49,919 Speaker 2: so for Nano two one oh to be it, it's 765 00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:55,279 Speaker 2: really like ascendency right right when those were it was 766 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 2: a and I remember that and I spoke about that 767 00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 2: in an interview. It was a wild chriss cross because 768 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:07,400 Speaker 2: I feel like the juggernaut of the show was also 769 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 2: rocket fuel for the story of the murder. 770 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, and interestingly enough, I think the show did sort 771 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,880 Speaker 1: of an episode where actually Matthew Perry played a character, 772 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,480 Speaker 1: so I remember this that was a tennis player and 773 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,680 Speaker 1: under a lot of stress from his rich parents. And 774 00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 1: I don't think he murdered them on our show. 775 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,719 Speaker 2: But I mean, Jenny, you have to understand something that 776 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,880 Speaker 2: my freshman year of college, so obviously I watched it, 777 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,720 Speaker 2: and I just remember somebody being like, there's a show 778 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:39,360 Speaker 2: about kids that go to Beverly and I was like, what, Okay, 779 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 2: I have to watch this, and my freshman year of college. 780 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,680 Speaker 2: You know, there was like you had to like watch 781 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,279 Speaker 2: TV like in a congregate environment, like there was a 782 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 2: TV like in the co living space of a door, right, 783 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,520 Speaker 2: but all meet and watch the show together, and it 784 00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 2: was maybe the most fun ever. I mean the prom 785 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,759 Speaker 2: episode where you guys are weren'ting the same forget It 786 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:06,880 Speaker 2: or get It like iconic and you know what was 787 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,440 Speaker 2: so fun about I'm sorry, I'm like totally looping back 788 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,840 Speaker 2: into different like I'm going back to a different direction 789 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,480 Speaker 2: that when people from Nina tuan O came onto our show, 790 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 2: I acted normal. 791 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:21,319 Speaker 1: I was me being out my god, yes, I'm what 792 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,520 Speaker 1: I like about you. We had Ian on, we had 793 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,439 Speaker 1: Luke on, we had Jason on. I think that's it. 794 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,000 Speaker 2: They were so wonderful too, like so fantastic, so wonderful. 795 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,919 Speaker 2: And I felt really lucky that I got to meet Luke, 796 00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:38,480 Speaker 2: you know, because he was so cool, Like he was 797 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,959 Speaker 2: so nice, he was so cool, and I have to say, 798 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,879 Speaker 2: the two of you had that chemistry like no time 799 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 2: had gone by. It was like right there, which was fun. 800 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,719 Speaker 2: But that like you'll never know how much that meant 801 00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,160 Speaker 2: to me. I was like I would totally play cool 802 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 2: it's like, hey, what's that? Nice to meet you, but 803 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 2: inside you're so good. 804 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,400 Speaker 1: Freaking out dude, you know you were saying like it 805 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,040 Speaker 1: was appointment television. That doesn't happen anymore now it's all 806 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,319 Speaker 1: about streaming. But you are on two shows that are 807 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,279 Speaker 1: streaming on the top of the charts right now. Did 808 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 1: you ever think see that coming? 809 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 2: I did not. So the other show you're talking about 810 00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,719 Speaker 2: is the Kristen Bell Adam Brodie show called Nobody Wants 811 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 2: This created my friend Foster, who I've known Aaron for 812 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 2: a long time. They were so lovely and called and said, hey, 813 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 2: would you do you want to come play a rabbi? 814 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,200 Speaker 2: And I don't want to brag, but I've played a 815 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 2: rabbi several times now on television, so I love that 816 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,359 Speaker 2: they made such an effort to have Jewish actors playing 817 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 2: Jewish characters, which you know, for many, many years is 818 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,759 Speaker 2: not what happened. And it was like, I only did 819 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,960 Speaker 2: one episode, but I swear to God, I have gotten 820 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 2: more feedback from doing that one episode than almost anything 821 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,560 Speaker 2: I've ever done, because that is such a massive hit 822 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,320 Speaker 2: and it's so funny that they aired at the exact 823 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,480 Speaker 2: same time and then switched places like it's. 824 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 1: Just you're killing it. 825 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,400 Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know. I'm an actor. So the minute 826 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 2: you say that, I'm like, well. 827 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,720 Speaker 1: I know. For me to never work again, I'll never worry. 828 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,440 Speaker 2: That's the only way it can happen, Like you have to. 829 00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:00,359 Speaker 2: And by the way, every time I get a job, 830 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,960 Speaker 2: every time to this day, after decades of doing this, 831 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:03,719 Speaker 2: I'm like, no. 832 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,960 Speaker 1: Really, are you sure? You're like, oh you want me? 833 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:08,760 Speaker 3: Yes? 834 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,880 Speaker 2: Always. I will never ever get over that. So I 835 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 2: when there's moments where people are watching what you do, 836 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,360 Speaker 2: because there's a lot of downtimes. 837 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:25,960 Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you, you've been working steadily, pretty steadily. 838 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,399 Speaker 1: Has there ever been a time during that downtime when 839 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,520 Speaker 1: you're like, maybe I should try something different? Like what 840 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,520 Speaker 1: else could I do? 841 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:37,520 Speaker 2: You know, you ask a great question. The one of 842 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,520 Speaker 2: my toxic traits is I am enormously stubborn, and I 843 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 2: also am like, no, put too much time in. I 844 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,319 Speaker 2: put too much time and I'm gonna wait everyone else 845 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 2: out until they leave, and then they'll create some sort 846 00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 2: of vacuum for me to move into. I didn't ever 847 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:53,120 Speaker 2: think of quitting. There were times where I was like, wow, 848 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,719 Speaker 2: this is horrific because when you have something that you 849 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,560 Speaker 2: love that is your dream, and you go through periods 850 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,880 Speaker 2: where nothing really seems like it's going on. I remember 851 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 2: feeling like there was a time where it felt like 852 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,840 Speaker 2: my career was like on a boat and the boat 853 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 2: was out to see and I was. 854 00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,400 Speaker 1: Like, by can I come back someday? 855 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 2: Hopefully it brings you back to me. So I have 856 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:20,239 Speaker 2: had some real dark moments where I'm like, fuck, this 857 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,759 Speaker 2: is horrible. I never ever thought of quitting, and I 858 00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 2: swear to God, I truly believe that it's just through 859 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:33,239 Speaker 2: sheer force of will and endurance and a refusal to quit. 860 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:35,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the only reason. 861 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,839 Speaker 2: And it's out of a stubborn inability to know when 862 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:40,440 Speaker 2: to call it. 863 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,719 Speaker 1: So because I always think what else am I gonna do? 864 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 2: Like? 865 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,560 Speaker 1: This is what I do well. 866 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,680 Speaker 2: But the amazing thing about you is you do everything 867 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,040 Speaker 2: which you know what you've always been And I've always 868 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,040 Speaker 2: admired this about you. You are a frickin' hustler and 869 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,560 Speaker 2: you always have been like you are, like you multitask 870 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,840 Speaker 2: in a way that I've never seen, and I have 871 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,359 Speaker 2: this memory of you like walking into work with like 872 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:11,160 Speaker 2: two dogs, children, papers, the script and its like as an assistant, 873 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:15,040 Speaker 2: like and you're like, you have seventy businesses and things 874 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,520 Speaker 2: going on, but then when you have to lock into 875 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,520 Speaker 2: the thing in front of you, will lock into that thing. Okay, 876 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,920 Speaker 2: now I'm going to lock into that thing. And you 877 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 2: always did it all with a lot of grace, Like 878 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:28,560 Speaker 2: I don't know, I am very I don't have that ability. So, 879 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,920 Speaker 2: for instance, you have this incredible collaboration with QVC. You 880 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,960 Speaker 2: know that, likeir so I have. I love QVC more 881 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,839 Speaker 2: than anything. I mean I really do, and I watch 882 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:41,160 Speaker 2: it all the time, and particularly at the height of lockdown, 883 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,359 Speaker 2: I was like, nothing is more comforting to me right now, 884 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,120 Speaker 2: like the world is in saying all I want to 885 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,520 Speaker 2: do is watch someone talking about this particular blanket like 886 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 2: and why this is so good? And I'm like, I 887 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,680 Speaker 2: want to hear all about the microfiber count on this blanket. 888 00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,439 Speaker 1: It really there's something about it that just sucks you in. 889 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:06,360 Speaker 2: Yes, but you know you've also you you've always managed 890 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,040 Speaker 2: to be like ahead of the curve. VC is doing 891 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:11,319 Speaker 2: something very brilliant, embracing women fifty and over. Now right 892 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:15,840 Speaker 2: that you are just like hello, like I am going 893 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,000 Speaker 2: to walk right into that, and you're like the perfect 894 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,839 Speaker 2: face for all of this, someone that people have grown 895 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:25,120 Speaker 2: up with, who you know, they can see themselves in, 896 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,760 Speaker 2: who's doing it in a way that's really admirable and aspirational. 897 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,239 Speaker 2: And you know, I think you're amazing your ability to 898 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,560 Speaker 2: just like always have fifty different things going at the 899 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:36,920 Speaker 2: same time. I don't know how. 900 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,319 Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you. Ask my husband. It's not 901 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 1: quite as graceful as you might think. But you got 902 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,080 Speaker 1: a hustle, girl. 903 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:46,480 Speaker 3: You do. 904 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:47,760 Speaker 2: You do have to hustle. 905 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 1: We got to pay the bills. 906 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 2: And you've always been a very good provider. 907 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,280 Speaker 1: I like taking care of people. 908 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:54,839 Speaker 3: Well. 909 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,440 Speaker 2: Also, you've been working since you were really really young. 910 00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, like soeen sixteen, seventeen. 911 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,560 Speaker 2: Yep, So I think that's just in you. 912 00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:08,240 Speaker 1: It's yeah, I have a strong work ethic, and I 913 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:13,080 Speaker 1: enjoy doing things like I enjoy getting shit done, like 914 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,520 Speaker 1: checking it off my list and the next very impressive. 915 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,799 Speaker 1: I thank you so much. That's a very nice of 916 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:19,680 Speaker 1: you to notice me. 917 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,360 Speaker 2: And I wouldn't say it if I didn't. 918 00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:32,360 Speaker 1: Okay, if you weren't an actress, Oh yes, what would 919 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,840 Speaker 1: you do with your time? What would you be? 920 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,920 Speaker 2: It's such a cliche answer, but I probably would be 921 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,719 Speaker 2: like a therapist. I just find people so fascinating and 922 00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,799 Speaker 2: I'm so like psychologically curious. And obviously that is so 923 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:45,520 Speaker 2: much of what acting is, as you're getting into the 924 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:45,879 Speaker 2: mind of. 925 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:46,560 Speaker 1: A different person. 926 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,640 Speaker 2: But I mean, for some of my favorite thing ever, 927 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,640 Speaker 2: like my dream evening is this is gonna sound terrible, 928 00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:54,399 Speaker 2: getting sat next to people that are in a fight, 929 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:59,440 Speaker 2: like a couple like I just because I want to 930 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:03,000 Speaker 2: hear them nimin issues and he is not He needs 931 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,839 Speaker 2: to go to a therapist for that, and she is 932 00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,160 Speaker 2: not listening and she's not holding space for it. 933 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:10,279 Speaker 1: Like I just like, let's go to I want to 934 00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 1: go to dinner with you and we won't talk. No, 935 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,200 Speaker 1: we'll just listen. 936 00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,960 Speaker 2: Suh, will order our food and then hopefully sit. 937 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,799 Speaker 3: Next to people, go right next to people, correct And 938 00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:26,640 Speaker 3: I've had that, So I find other psychological dynamics between 939 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:32,239 Speaker 3: people fascinating, and you know, figuring out why people are 940 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 3: the way that they are and how you correctly affects 941 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,640 Speaker 3: what you're like today and how you can make real 942 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 3: change right here, right now that whatever happened to you, 943 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 3: it's not like, oh, it's not like the story is 944 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,319 Speaker 3: written and you can't adjust that. 945 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:50,879 Speaker 2: And how people can figure out different ways to get 946 00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,319 Speaker 2: through things. I find all of them. 947 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:56,320 Speaker 1: I do too. Should we should have been a therapists together. 948 00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 2: Let's open up, let's go to school, and that'll be 949 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:00,560 Speaker 2: another way. 950 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:00,960 Speaker 3: I know. 951 00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,640 Speaker 1: I'm seeing a show though it's yes, I think this 952 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 1: is good. 953 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,239 Speaker 2: I think so too. Two actresses who become therapists and. 954 00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,960 Speaker 1: We live together. We have to live together together, and 955 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:18,520 Speaker 1: we're besses because we sometimes have You noticed that sometimes therapists, 956 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,360 Speaker 1: not every therapist, because my best friend is a therapist, 957 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:24,839 Speaker 1: was a therapist and she's like the best person I know. 958 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,799 Speaker 1: But a lot of times therapists don't have their shit 959 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:29,120 Speaker 1: together in their real lives. 960 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:32,840 Speaker 2: No, and sort of the cliche also is like I 961 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,680 Speaker 2: just remember there was some kids, not all, but there 962 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:36,160 Speaker 2: were some kids that I grew up with whose parents 963 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:40,680 Speaker 2: were therapists, and I was like, oh, boy, love going 964 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,799 Speaker 2: on in your house? Can you imagine they might not 965 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,359 Speaker 2: be able to see you any longer? So I think, Look, 966 00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,000 Speaker 2: I think I learned drawn to certain things for certain reasons. 967 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:54,920 Speaker 2: I think maybe dysfunctional people are drawn to psychological work. 968 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:57,279 Speaker 2: They want to understand why they are the way they 969 00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:58,840 Speaker 2: are and by the way, I put myself in that 970 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,680 Speaker 2: category on me too, taking myself out of it at all. 971 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:03,879 Speaker 2: So yeah, I think that's fair. And by the way, 972 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,040 Speaker 2: whoever said I wasn't kind of a mess, I don't. 973 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,040 Speaker 2: I literally have no idea what I'm doing on any 974 00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:09,759 Speaker 2: given day. I am winging it constantly. 975 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:13,160 Speaker 1: Absolutely, you've never done this before. No, I really haven't 976 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,320 Speaker 1: ever been in this moment right now before. And people 977 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:20,280 Speaker 1: forget that, like when you fuck up as a mom 978 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,279 Speaker 1: or like you make a mistake with a friend or 979 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,080 Speaker 1: at work and you are so hard on yourself about 980 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,239 Speaker 1: it and why did I do that? And you know, 981 00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 1: you beat yourself up about it, and I have to 982 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:34,239 Speaker 1: remind myself in those moments, like, hello, you've never done 983 00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:36,320 Speaker 1: this before. Of course you're not going to do everything 984 00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:37,560 Speaker 1: right all the time. 985 00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,640 Speaker 2: And the thing that also kind of blows my mind though, 986 00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,160 Speaker 2: I was literally talking to someone this morning about this 987 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,920 Speaker 2: where you know, I am still learning big lessons where 988 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,440 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh wow, that was a learning experience. It 989 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,720 Speaker 2: was deeply painful, but it was I in my kitchen. 990 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,320 Speaker 2: There's that is a learning experience, and I'm like, oh wow, okay, 991 00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,600 Speaker 2: so at this age, I'm still having learned experience. 992 00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,799 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Sometimes with my husband and I talk 993 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,759 Speaker 1: about this, We're like, I'm so tired of evolving, Like 994 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:06,759 Speaker 1: please make it. 995 00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,520 Speaker 2: Stup literally like I get it, Like I've learned. I 996 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,760 Speaker 2: don't want to learn any more lessons. I'm allfull on lessons. 997 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:17,120 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. But that's not what life is. 998 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:22,160 Speaker 2: It really isn't and it's just waiting for you to 999 00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:22,920 Speaker 2: fuck up again. 1000 00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,520 Speaker 1: I mean, we have had we've had such a good 1001 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:30,080 Speaker 1: time together, but I feel like there were destined to 1002 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,480 Speaker 1: work together again and I really love look forward to that. 1003 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:33,360 Speaker 2: Let's do it. 1004 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,799 Speaker 1: I love talking to you, I love hanging out with 1005 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,239 Speaker 1: you all hours of the day and night on set. 1006 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:39,560 Speaker 1: I just love you. 1007 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,080 Speaker 2: Well, before we go, I just want to say, first 1008 00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:43,880 Speaker 2: of all, thank you for having me on. I also 1009 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,520 Speaker 2: talked so much, and it's not fair because I know 1010 00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,799 Speaker 2: you so and I'm just so excited to like talk 1011 00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,200 Speaker 2: to you. And now other people are going to have 1012 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:55,000 Speaker 2: to listen in on that. 1013 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,839 Speaker 1: No, they want to hear everything you have to say. 1014 00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:58,520 Speaker 3: They love it. 1015 00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:01,520 Speaker 2: And also I remember something This is so like unimportant 1016 00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,960 Speaker 2: and stupid, but you taught me like a food thing 1017 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,439 Speaker 2: that I never ever forgot where we were sitting. They 1018 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:10,040 Speaker 2: had like on set it was like a cobbler and 1019 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,560 Speaker 2: like we got a cobbler and there was ice cream 1020 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,840 Speaker 2: and you salted it and I was like, oh, I 1021 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,120 Speaker 2: was like, what are you talking. I was like, why 1022 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,480 Speaker 2: are you salting that? And you were like no, no, 1023 00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,960 Speaker 2: the salt brings out and I was like okay, and 1024 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,160 Speaker 2: I salted it and I was like, this is the 1025 00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:26,400 Speaker 2: greatest thing that's ever happened. And I feel like salted 1026 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:30,760 Speaker 2: caramel became a huge bad after that, and I was like, one, 1027 00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:36,960 Speaker 2: miss Jenny Barth assaulting your sweet things many years. 1028 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,400 Speaker 1: I'm a trailblazer when it comes sick eating salt. 1029 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 2: You are a trailblazer. And on that ridiculous note that way. 1030 00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,200 Speaker 1: Oh that's so funny. I have one final question to 1031 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:51,520 Speaker 1: ask you, Leslie Grossman. What was your last I Choose 1032 00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:56,240 Speaker 1: me moment? Oh, it can be big, it can be little. 1033 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:59,560 Speaker 1: You know, you're in the in the minefield of choosing 1034 00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,880 Speaker 1: yourself for right now, which is an amazing place to be. 1035 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,040 Speaker 2: I will tell you my last choose me moment that 1036 00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,600 Speaker 2: I alluded to in a text with you that I 1037 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:10,800 Speaker 2: won't go into too many details. I had an interaction. 1038 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:13,880 Speaker 2: I don't want to be too obvious, but it was 1039 00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:18,400 Speaker 2: like a collaboration, and I did not like the way 1040 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:22,440 Speaker 2: it was going down. And the old me, the younger me, 1041 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:27,919 Speaker 2: would have stuck it out, made excuses, I would have apologized, 1042 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:33,000 Speaker 2: I would have myself, and instead, I very directly said, 1043 00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,600 Speaker 2: this doesn't feel good and I'm going to remove myself 1044 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:41,120 Speaker 2: from this best of luck. And it felt great. It 1045 00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:45,320 Speaker 2: felt so great. And the more that you make those choices, 1046 00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,440 Speaker 2: the better it is for you. That is you taking 1047 00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,720 Speaker 2: care of yourself. And it's not easy and it doesn't 1048 00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,440 Speaker 2: come naturally to me. And I don't want people to 1049 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:55,400 Speaker 2: think I'm a bitch or I'm grateful, whatever it is 1050 00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,160 Speaker 2: that we worry people are going to think about us 1051 00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:01,040 Speaker 2: to say, I don't like this and I'm removing myself. 1052 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,040 Speaker 2: And I did that just a couple of days ago. 1053 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,279 Speaker 2: So that was my last choose me a moment. Without 1054 00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:08,960 Speaker 2: going into the specifics of it, I protected myself. 1055 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:13,399 Speaker 1: I love it, Jenny, and I choose you. 1056 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:18,560 Speaker 2: I choose you, Jenny. Will you give all your girls 1057 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:19,160 Speaker 2: kisses for me? 1058 00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,000 Speaker 1: And Goldie too. I want to hold her like a baby, 1059 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,479 Speaker 1: but I can't because she's large. Now it's tall. 1060 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,279 Speaker 2: How she's like five nine, I don't care for it. 1061 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,040 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, how tall are you? 1062 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:30,320 Speaker 2: I'm six. 1063 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,360 Speaker 1: It's weird when they're taller than us. 1064 00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,799 Speaker 2: What is happening? And by the way, I'll just say this, 1065 00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,560 Speaker 2: they're taller now, kids are taller. Now, they grow them taller. 1066 00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:40,520 Speaker 1: Now, they grow more. Yeah, that's true. 1067 00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:41,960 Speaker 2: All her friends from over And I'm like, it's like 1068 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:42,839 Speaker 2: Amazon's or And. 1069 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,200 Speaker 1: I cannot tell I cannot wait to tell Fiona that 1070 00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,040 Speaker 1: I talked to Goldie's mom today. She's going to be 1071 00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:48,080 Speaker 1: so happy not to. 1072 00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,440 Speaker 2: Give her a squeeze from me. And your girls are 1073 00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:54,520 Speaker 2: just like, oh my god, Like you're just you know, 1074 00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:57,080 Speaker 2: you've always been the most wonderful mother and so totally 1075 00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,520 Speaker 2: committed to them, and now look how wonderful they are. 1076 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:04,920 Speaker 1: So mazzle, mizzled to you love seeing I love you, 1077 00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:06,719 Speaker 1: bye bye, thank you. 1078 00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:10,920 Speaker 2: Hi. Oh. 1079 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,360 Speaker 1: I just love Leslie Grossman. You guys. It was so 1080 00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:18,239 Speaker 1: nice to chat with her and just you know, walk 1081 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:21,120 Speaker 1: down memory road with her and some of the fun 1082 00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,400 Speaker 1: memories that we had working together on What I like 1083 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,480 Speaker 1: about you, What a great time we had. And I'm 1084 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:31,760 Speaker 1: just I'm so I'm so happy for her and proud 1085 00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:35,720 Speaker 1: of her all the incredible roles that she has played, 1086 00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,520 Speaker 1: but especially right now, I mean, she's just killing it 1087 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:42,520 Speaker 1: and I couldn't be happier for anybody. As we continue 1088 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:46,040 Speaker 1: to choose ourselves each week, I want to challenge you 1089 00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:49,680 Speaker 1: this week to something. When was the last time you 1090 00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:53,560 Speaker 1: told someone in your life that you love them? Talking 1091 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:56,839 Speaker 1: with Leslie today, we were both reflecting on what it's 1092 00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,440 Speaker 1: like to lose a parent, and I know for a 1093 00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,960 Speaker 1: lot of us, if given the opportunity to see that 1094 00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,400 Speaker 1: parent again, we would want to make sure that we 1095 00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:08,760 Speaker 1: told them we love them. So this week, I encourage 1096 00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:14,640 Speaker 1: you to send a text or tell someone just call them. 1097 00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:18,040 Speaker 1: Maybe next time you talk to them, tell them that 1098 00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,520 Speaker 1: you love them. Life can change in the blink of 1099 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:25,840 Speaker 1: an eye, so let's all choose to really prioritize and 1100 00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:29,400 Speaker 1: remind ourselves how lucky we are to have people in 1101 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,560 Speaker 1: our lives. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. You 1102 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,920 Speaker 1: can check out all our social links in our show notes. 1103 00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,560 Speaker 1: You can rate us, you can review us, and be 1104 00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,719 Speaker 1: sure to use the hashtag I Choose Me so I 1105 00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,160 Speaker 1: can find you. I'll be right here next week. I 1106 00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:44,480 Speaker 1: hope you choose to be here too.