WEBVTT - Dealing With Loss During The Holidays 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.880 Whether it's December twenty fourth or fifth, or December twenty sixth, 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:07.000 or New Year's Eve or New Year's morning, the sun 0:00:07.040 --> 0:00:22.040 will rise all right back on the podcast. Welcome everybody, 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:23.960 favorite guest. 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:25.560 Ever you say that to everybody? 0:00:26.560 --> 0:00:28.920 I don't have any guests on here? Can you tell 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:30.600 my voices bad? 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:32.960 I kind of like it. 0:00:32.960 --> 0:00:37.640 It's on the It's on the way back up. Yesterday, 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:41.840 I've been hitting it hard doing a lot of radio, 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:45.239 and on top of that, I got into all this 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:49.640 allergy stuff as I was traveling to wherever I was, 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:53.800 Florida and then Kentucky. And as I'm traveling and doing 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:57.320 more and more radio, my voice was just like declining. 0:00:58.160 --> 0:00:59.680 And so I was trying to load up all these 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:04.280 Chrismus after midnights and I was like, oh good, after midnight. 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:08.720 I was like, Jeed, gummit, welcome after dad, gomm stop 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.880 it rewind it, welcome to after midnight. 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:14.800 I'm bring dude. It was. It was crushing me, but 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:16.280 I got it. I got it. 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:18.560 And and now what you hear now is on the 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:20.440 it's on It's on the way up. 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:24.199 You were saying yesterday how you were coughing a lot, 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:26.600 and in all the years that we've been married, and 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:29.480 all your years of touring and doing music, you like, 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.080 never coughed. He would purposely make himself not cough. I 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:33.880 don't know how he did it, but you would do 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:35.959 all these kinds of tricks to make yourself not cough 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:37.600 because you didn't want it to mess up your voice. 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:41.200 So, yeah, it's interesting because I don't care as much 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:44.759 about my voice. I preached twice this week, and uh, 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:46.520 the first time I preached, you know, I didn't have 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:48.160 much of a voice at all, but it was fine. 0:01:48.640 --> 0:01:52.840 I get to still get the point across. I couldn't sing. Yeah, 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:56.160 So thankfully I don't have to worry about that anymore. Yeah, 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:58.280 we answer your questions on this podcast. 0:01:58.320 --> 0:01:58.920 That's what we do. 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:02.920 And I have a limited number of guests each week, 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.400 and this is my favorite one, my wife Amber. If 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:10.600 you want your question answered, email Granger at Excuse Me 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:14.800 podcast at grangersmith dot com. Not only is my voice 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:18.680 going out, but so is my brain podcast at grangersmith 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:19.440 dot com. 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:21.320 You're not busy or anything. You don't have a lot 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:22.280 on your plate at all. 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.200 I have so much on my plate, but I love 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:26.960 it all. No, I know you do I love it. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.639 That's why we have to give you grace for your 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:32.160 brain not working one hundred percent all the time. 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:33.760 Yeah. 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:36.519 I think the messages went well this week too, even 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.680 though my brain was it's not great. I think I 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:42.520 think the messages, I think they went. 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:42.959 Well over well. 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:46.080 I can't wait to see them. I always read them. 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.079 He always sends them to me to read. But a 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:49.519 lot of the times I can't be there in person 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:51.160 with you, so I can't. I always like to wait 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:52.760 and watch the videos whenever they come out. 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:54.440 Yeah, let's go. 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:58.799 First question comes from Olivia. It says, Hey, Granger, just 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:00.600 wanted to start off by saying that I really love 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:02.720 your podcast and your music. You really inspire me with 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:07.280 everything that you've ever done. I'm seventeen, I'm a Mennonite girl, 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:09.959 and I'm very curious what you think about the head 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:14.040 covering in one Corinthians eleven, which says, but every woman 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:20.399 that prayeth orphthought, prophesiath with her head uncovered, dishonor dishonorreth 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:22.240 her head reading the King James. 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:24.120 I have grown up. 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:27.120 In a Minnite church, and I was always taught modesty 0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:32.000 and headcovering. Some people think that Anabaptists are very legalistic, 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:35.200 but most of the people around me are strong Christians 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:37.080 and they want to follow the Bible with all their heart. 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.760 I'm a firm believer, and I hope that you don't 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:43.120 think I'm basing my faith on these things. 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:44.960 But I want to serve the Lord fully. 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:48.480 I know that modesty is something that's very important, but 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:51.240 I'm questioning how important the head covering is. What are 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:56.320 your thoughts on this. I'm so glad you emailed, Olivia. 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:06.280 I love our men, and I questions and Marv, if 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:08.240 you're listening, I'm sending you. I'm sending you this one. 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:08.600 Buddy. 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:13.440 Marv is a Marv is a dear, dear brother, and 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:17.200 we talk. I mean, Marv, what do you say he 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:21.400 listens to this podcast. We talk every other day. I 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.960 mean we talk quite a bit. He is wise counsel 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:29.279 for me. He is a friend to me. He's someone 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:33.040 I can message to grab a prayer request from. And 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:37.120 he's also a Mennonite pastor in South Carolina. 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:38.320 You met Marv? 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:44.560 Yes, yeah, great family, and so because of my lack 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:50.240 of understanding of the Mennonite culture, I typically I'll. 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:51.960 Consult Marv on this stuff. All the time. 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:56.279 Marvel also knows a lot about the Amish, and so 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:04.800 Marvis is is a reborn Christian brother also pastor, and 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:11.800 he also has a cultivated love for the heritage of. 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:12.599 The Mennonite people. 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:15.960 So it's what I'm saying is he didn't like leave 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:19.640 the Midnite church and become a pastor somewhere else. He's 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:24.400 still a Mennonite pastor, but his eyes are open. And 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:27.560 I can't say enough how much I love this guy. 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:30.160 Actually met him, you know, I met him. I met 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:31.360 him through this podcast. 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:36.280 He emailed the podcast, and I emailed him back, and 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:40.719 we became friends. His question was meant way off topic here. 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:44.880 His question to me was something like, what are you 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.320 gonna do with Earl Dibbles Junior? Now that you're reborn? 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.960 And there was something about it. People ask that kind 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:55.039 of thing all the time, but there was something about 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:59.040 this particular time. I was drawn to his words. I 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:00.919 was drawn to the email. Not that he said anything 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.200 profound about that, but I was drawn to it. And 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:05.640 I just replied, and then he replied, and I've replied, 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:07.120 Then he replied. Then I gave him my number. Then 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:08.440 he called me, and then we talked for a long 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.760 time and then we just became friends. Yeah, so Amber, 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:14.880 your thoughts. I know that you've studied this, and you 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:17.800 have a lot of thoughts on first Corintheen's eleven have 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.039 I I mean, I'm sure you have more than me. 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:22.080 I mean, I kind of have got this question a 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:24.080 lot too, but I have never I have never answered 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.000 it because I feel like I have more study to do. 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:30.400 I know that there were some things that were you 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:33.120 would do back in the culture. I do believe in modesty. 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:34.760 I believe that you know, of course, we're called to 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:37.279 be modest as Christians, and I've in my walk with 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.760 the Lord, I've changed certain things about my dress and 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.160 certain things that I put out there. As far as 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:45.400 the head covering goes, I think it was R. C. 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:48.719 Sprull who said he's like one of the only ones 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.640 of the pastors that we kind of study who says 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:55.160 he still believes that women should have head coverings. I 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:57.440 believe it's him. We'll have to have to fact check 0:06:57.480 --> 0:07:00.440 me on this, but I mean, obviously, in today's culture, 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:03.080 nobody none of the women cover their heads, really are 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:05.520 There are there specific denominations who still do. 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:07.720 I feel like the Amish in the mid night. 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:09.880 Okay, I feel like I still have to do more 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:13.360 study of Andecostals to Okay, I feel like I still 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.760 need to do more study on this. Yes, I don't 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:18.120 know if this is one of those things that was 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:20.280 in the culture then and doesn't apply now. 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:23.000 What's happening here is this is a beautiful thing because 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:26.200 ant Man is now producing the podcast, so now he 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:27.360 puts these questions in. 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:28.840 Yeah, so it's like. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:32.360 Hey, question number one, deal with this, you know, that's 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:34.400 that's kind of what he's doing. And so let look, 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.120 I think what both of us, both of us are 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:40.239 saying Olivia, is something that's very important for a Christian 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:41.440 to put in their arsenal. 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:44.160 I don't know. 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:48.080 Yeah, here's what I do know. Though what I do 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:49.760 know is more important than what I don't know when 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.000 it comes to the gospel, because what I do know 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:55.320 is this is not a matter of salvation. 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:57.040 This is this is. 0:07:57.000 --> 0:08:01.080 Not a matter of you earning any extra favor with God. 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:05.040 It is a matter of obedience, and we want to 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:09.160 be We desire to be as obedient as possible. I 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:12.080 think I walk through this in similar occasions on this podcast, 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:16.600 with things like alcohol, someone that's like, hey, man, I 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:20.280 don't I think I should cut out drinking. And I 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:22.240 know it's not a sin to actually take a sip 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:24.280 of alcohol, it's a sin to get drunk. But now 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:26.800 I'm thinking, and I'm like, hey, that that is your 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:32.960 I think that's a good view of your sanctification. Me 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:36.880 and Amber both I'm a seminarian at Southern Baptist and 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:38.839 I can't drink. 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:40.880 People ask me that. 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:44.000 They say, hey, now that you're at Southern, you're enrolled 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:47.800 at Southern, and you can't drink. Is that offensive to you? 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:49.199 Do you think that's legalistic? 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:54.120 I kind of like that question. I'm like, no, I don't. 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:56.840 I think it's I think it's responsible. I think it's 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:59.640 responsible for Southern to require that of their students. And 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:02.160 they're not saying it's biblical that you have to and 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:05.120 they're not saying that this is your salvation depends on it. 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.560 They're saying, hey, if you want to be as obedient 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:09.760 as possible and stay away from any kind of temptation, 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:15.079 then we highly encourage, in fact require you. 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:15.679 To not drink. 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:17.720 I think that's a good way to test yourself. 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:22.240 And so, so, Olivia, here's a couple things here's a 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:27.760 couple more things. If you feel, if you feel the 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:32.600 pool the which is sanctification, if you feel the need 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:35.640 to cover your head because of the conviction, because of 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:37.600 First Grinthians eleven, then I would. 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:38.040 Say do it. 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:40.880 The second thing is but but don't do it as 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:45.199 a it's an obligation. Do it instead as an offering. 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:48.400 And then here's the other thing. Paul's going to talk 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:54.240 about how he will be like others so that he 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:58.720 could win them. Perhaps, so you're in a Mennonite church 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.920 where a lot of girls are covering their head, I 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.360 don't think it would be wise for you to walk 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:07.800 in one day without a head covering and go. You know, 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:10.520 I just don't think I think that's a little legalistic. 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:11.760 I think that can. 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:16.079 Cause unnecessary disruption. I think it's a healthy conversation outside 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:18.280 the church building. But on a Sunday morning, I don't 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:21.160 think that. I don't think that helps anybody with anything. 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:25.040 I think it's a great conversation to have with girls 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:29.360 later about hey, you know, this is not dependent on salvation. 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:33.480 Depend Salvation is not dependent upon this. And that's just 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:35.240 the tip of the iceberg. With a lot of different 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.319 denominations in what they require, what they need. 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:41.000 I love that you said that it's okay for us, 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:42.920 as we're growing in our sanctification and growing in our 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.040 wisdom and knowledge of the scriptures, to say that we 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:47.520 don't know because we're still searching, we're still learning, and 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:49.280 there are a couple there are a few things obviously 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:51.360 that we don't know and we might need to seek 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.480 wise counsel about that. So I would just encourage her 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:56.280 to seek more wise counsel and just do more study. 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:59.839 Yeah, I don't know, and no one really does. No 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:04.560 one knows this issue on one Corinthians eleven, So let's 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:08.840 kick it around. It's a great discussion, and I'm really 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:09.560 glad you asked it. 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:11.400 It's another one. 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.360 This comes from Blake. Hey Grainger, my name's Blake. I'm 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.560 eighteen from California, and I love your podcast. 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:17.400 My question is. 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:22.439 How do I, or how should I improve my relationship 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:25.800 with my mom. My parents have been divorced for sixteen years. 0:11:25.920 --> 0:11:28.120 Three years ago, my mom met a new guy. She 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:32.720 ended up marrying him after a few months and moving 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:34.600 us while I was in high school for no reason 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:38.320 other than because this new guy wanted to move near 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:42.200 the beach. This along with him yelling at me, constantly 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.839 accusing me of things I haven't done. Making my mom 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.800 an alcoholic and constantly crossing the line has caused me 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:53.320 to build up resentments against my mom for allowing these 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:56.800 things to happen. Given that my dad was an alcoholic 0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:00.199 and had a DUI, it's hard to see my mom 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:04.680 go through similar battles because of her new husband. Prior 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:06.800 to this guy, she drank once or twice a month. 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:10.679 Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.160 am I just wasting my time due to her actions 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.840 telling me that she doesn't prioritize her relationship with me? 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:18.600 Thanks Blake, he's eighteen eighteen. 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:23.000 Did he say at the very end there that she 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:26.079 tells him she's not prioritizing a relationship. 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:28.600 Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:32.120 am I just wasting my time due to her actions? 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:34.240 Telling her actions? 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:34.800 Telling me? 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:38.080 Okay, so his question is how do I build or 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:41.839 improve my relationship with my mom? 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:44.920 I'm going to say the first thing to do is 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:48.280 don't give up on praying. And I mean, you are 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:52.400 technically an adult now and you can't control what your 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.120 mom does, but you can control your response to it, 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:59.559 and I would continue to pray, and just you know, 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.360 the Bible tells us to put away anger and resentment 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:03.640 and all those things, and that's hard to do in 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:05.720 our flesh, so we cannot do that apart from the 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.360 Holy Spirit. So first I would say, develop your relationship 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:11.760 with the Lord and continue to pray. But then also 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:14.760 just go to her honestly and just say you're worried 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:18.880 about her, and you love her and you want to 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.840 see her in a good place, and you don't want 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.160 to see her, you know, in pain or sick or 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.199 drinking all the time. It's a hard situation to be 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:29.600 in because you do care about your mom, but she's 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.080 also you know, she probably thinks, well, I've raised my son, 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:34.360 now it's time for me to have my life with 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:39.040 this new husband or boyfriend or it's tricky. It's tricky. 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:42.600 I would just be in constant prayer. In constant prayer. 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.480 You have to do that in slow now, bless you. 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:53.480 That's the smith. You know, like. 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:58.000 This if you were fifteen, fourteen, twelve, I'd have probably 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:03.640 a different answer at eighteen. If you want to, I'm 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.720 gonna go buy your question. I'm gonna dissect your question, 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:09.040 because your question is not how do I heal my mom? 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:13.120 How do I help my mom? How do I tell 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:14.760 my mom that this guy's bad for her? That's not 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:18.600 your question. Your question is how should I improve my 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:21.880 relationship with my mom? And so I'm going to just 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.080 go with that. I'm gonna go with your question and 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:27.120 not try to dig any deeper. I think that's fair enough. 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:31.760 You want to improve your relationship with your mom, lover, 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:39.160 forgive her, give her grace. See from her perspective, she 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:43.680 has fallen twice now for an alcoholic. It's easy to 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:46.800 see why she's drinking more because she's around an alcoholic. 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.440 He's an alcoholic, right, this guy, Yeah, it's. 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:52.440 Easy to It's like it's easy to become a smoker 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:57.440 when you live in with a smoker. So that's understandable. 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:01.520 So see that from her perspective, See that she is 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:05.640 probably hurting through all this. She probably misses you, loves you. 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.680 My suggestion to improve the relationship is to love her, 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.800 have grace for her, forgive her. And it doesn't mean 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:15.400 you need to trust her or trust this new guy, 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:17.560 or it doesn't mean you have to be happy that 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:22.240 she moved, because those are real feelings that you're really experiencing. 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:27.800 So instead tell her, Mom, I love you. I genuinely 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:31.720 want what's best for you. You know, I don't particularly 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.320 care for this new guy, but I do want you 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:35.480 to be happy, and I want to be someone you 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.800 can come to to get advice, someone you could you 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:42.640 could lean on. You could trust me, Mom, because I 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:45.720 love you and I always will regardless of what you do, 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:50.040 regardless of what you do with this guy. I love 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:53.200 you and I genuinely want the best for you. 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.040 And also I forgive you. 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.920 I know that I've been grumpy, I've been sharp and 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:03.240 mean lately telling you my opinions about moving and telling 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:06.600 you what I think about this new guy, and I 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:08.520 don't ever want to hurt you, and I just want 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:10.720 to say I'm sorry and I forgive you. That's a 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:14.440 really good place to start to improve a relationship you. 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.160 You got all kinds of green grass to run in 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:22.000 after that, but you start with that, with that stance 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.320 of humility, I think you're gonna be in a much 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:27.600 better place to build something positive with your mom. Next 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:31.240 question comes from anonymous and it says, Hey, Granger, I 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:35.040 lost my husband and recently started dating I've been on 0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:38.640 a few dates, and each of them expected to sleep 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:42.160 with me. On the first date. I was in shock. 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:44.680 One of them even said, come on, we. 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:47.760 Are adults here, we could do what we. 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:53.320 Want, which I didn't disagree on this point. I said, exactly, 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:57.520 and I am not sleeping with you now and probably never. 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:00.680 But I didn't want to sleep with a man that 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:03.360 I barely knew, needless to say, he was history. 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:06.640 Recently, I met a man that I may end up 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:07.960 wanting to sleep with. 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:11.480 I care about him enough to start a serious relationship with. 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:15.480 Does the Bible speak about a widow and sex? This 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:20.440 man respects my decision to wait until I'm ready. I'm 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:24.040 after a serious relationship. I do not plan to just 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:25.720 go on a date from now on. Tell me whether 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:29.479 the Bible speaks on this or not? And what are 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.240 your thoughts on this? And your wife too? Oh you 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:39.680 happen to be here in Christian love? Anonymous? All right, Anonymous, 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:45.760 let's dig in this is This is very, very, very easy, 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:50.639 and it doesn't make it a bad question. It's a 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:53.680 great question. I'm glad you asked, but it's very easy. 0:17:55.720 --> 0:18:00.520 The answer is no, You're not going to be condoned, 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:07.280 whether a widow or whether you're just single outside of 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.280 marriage to be in a sexual relationship. 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:17.880 What do I say after that? I wonder, I wonder 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.920 if you are a Christian? Yeah, I do. 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:26.359 It's hard for me to take this out of context 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:29.440 and think and just assume that you are a Christian 0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:33.040 or that maybe you're a cultural Christian and you're just 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:35.240 kind of going by the book, like, Hey, what boxes 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:38.239 do I need to check? I'm a Christian because that's 0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:41.160 the way I grew up. What boxes am I checking again? 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:43.160 Granger? Will you remind me what the Bible says? 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:48.160 When in fact I would so encourage you to see 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:48.720 for yourself. 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:50.959 Yeah, to go and see. 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:54.600 And this is probably a good time for me to 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:59.159 tell you the gospel because, and maybe this goes with 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:03.480 the head covering conversation as well, that all of us 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:09.119 are sinners. We have all fallen short of the glory 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:14.800 of God. Our own conscience testifies to that that we 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:17.119 have messed up, that we have fallen short in all 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:20.080 different ways, all of us in different ways. But all 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:23.920 of us are rebels, enemies of God, really a perfect 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:27.320 holy God. We have turned our back on him. We 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:28.200 have gone our own way. 0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:28.680 We've said. 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:30.320 You know what, I'm going to decide what I do, 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:33.000 and I might go check and see what that old 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:37.120 Bible says, or may ask this podcast, But really, in general, 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:39.280 I'm going to do what I want because you know why, 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:41.520 like the email says, because I'm an adult and I 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:44.600 do what I want, not what some God tells me 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:47.880 to do. Granger, that's not what you said, but that's 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:55.600 the implication. God knowing this, knowing that everyone had rebelled 0:19:55.600 --> 0:20:00.240 against him, all all of us have fallen short. There 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:04.119 is no one good, no, not even one, thus says 0:20:04.160 --> 0:20:08.360 the Bible, as if I was Billy Graham. Knowing this, 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:13.800 God enters his own creation as a man living the 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:17.240 perfect life, fulfilling the law perfectly, whether it's a head covering, 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:22.159 or whether it's alcohol, or whether it's premarital or widow sex, 0:20:23.160 --> 0:20:28.000 all of the law. He fulfilled it perfectly, sinless, perfection 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:30.359 in a way that no one that's ever walked on 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:33.000 this earth ever has. And you know what we did 0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:36.119 when we knew that, we killed him for it. I 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:38.840 say we talking about humanity. He went to the cross, 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:43.760 as predestined, as perfectly planned, so that upon that cross 0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:46.600 he took on the sin, the punishment that we deserved 0:20:46.640 --> 0:20:50.160 as sinners, to be in the presence of a holy God. 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:54.080 To be reconciled and brought to God, the Bible says, 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:58.000 would require perfection. We didn't have it. Someone's got to 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.800 get punished for that. Jesus took on that pun himself 0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:04.280 and says, anyone that turns from themselves, that turns away 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:06.040 from this sin, turns to me. 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:08.359 Will have eternal life. 0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:10.480 Three days later, he was raised from the grid from 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:14.560 the grave, proving his divinity, proving that the sacrifice that. 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:17.800 He gave to God was worthy. 0:21:19.680 --> 0:21:22.920 Anyone that believes that looks to him, turns from their 0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:26.000 old self and turns to him will be saved. 0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:27.400 Through that salvation. 0:21:27.640 --> 0:21:30.240 You start feeling the sanctification, and you're gonna start feeling 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:33.359 some things. You're gonna have a craving to read God's word, 0:21:33.400 --> 0:21:35.320