Speaker 1: Whether it's December twenty fourth or fifth, or December twenty sixth,
Speaker 1: or New Year's Eve or New Year's morning, the sun
Speaker 1: will rise all right back on the podcast. Welcome everybody,
Speaker 1: favorite guest.
Speaker 2: Ever you say that to everybody?
Speaker 1: I don't have any guests on here? Can you tell
Speaker 1: my voices bad?
Speaker 2: I kind of like it.
Speaker 1: It's on the It's on the way back up. Yesterday,
Speaker 1: I've been hitting it hard doing a lot of radio,
Speaker 1: and on top of that, I got into all this
Speaker 1: allergy stuff as I was traveling to wherever I was,
Speaker 1: Florida and then Kentucky. And as I'm traveling and doing
Speaker 1: more and more radio, my voice was just like declining.
Speaker 1: And so I was trying to load up all these
Speaker 1: Chrismus after midnights and I was like, oh good, after midnight.
Speaker 1: I was like, Jeed, gummit, welcome after dad, gomm stop
Speaker 1: it rewind it, welcome to after midnight.
Speaker 3: I'm bring dude. It was. It was crushing me, but
Speaker 3: I got it. I got it.
Speaker 1: And and now what you hear now is on the
Speaker 1: it's on It's on the way up.
Speaker 2: You were saying yesterday how you were coughing a lot,
Speaker 2: and in all the years that we've been married, and
Speaker 2: all your years of touring and doing music, you like,
Speaker 2: never coughed. He would purposely make himself not cough. I
Speaker 2: don't know how he did it, but you would do
Speaker 2: all these kinds of tricks to make yourself not cough
Speaker 2: because you didn't want it to mess up your voice.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, it's interesting because I don't care as much
Speaker 1: about my voice. I preached twice this week, and uh,
Speaker 1: the first time I preached, you know, I didn't have
Speaker 1: much of a voice at all, but it was fine.
Speaker 1: I get to still get the point across. I couldn't sing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So thankfully I don't have to worry about that anymore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we answer your questions on this podcast.
Speaker 3: That's what we do.
Speaker 1: And I have a limited number of guests each week,
Speaker 1: and this is my favorite one, my wife Amber. If
Speaker 1: you want your question answered, email Granger at Excuse Me
Speaker 1: podcast at grangersmith dot com. Not only is my voice
Speaker 1: going out, but so is my brain podcast at grangersmith
Speaker 1: dot com.
Speaker 2: You're not busy or anything. You don't have a lot
Speaker 2: on your plate at all.
Speaker 1: I have so much on my plate, but I love
Speaker 1: it all. No, I know you do I love it.
Speaker 2: That's why we have to give you grace for your
Speaker 2: brain not working one hundred percent all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think the messages went well this week too, even
Speaker 1: though my brain was it's not great. I think I
Speaker 1: think the messages, I think they went.
Speaker 3: Well over well.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see them. I always read them.
Speaker 2: He always sends them to me to read. But a
Speaker 2: lot of the times I can't be there in person
Speaker 2: with you, so I can't. I always like to wait
Speaker 2: and watch the videos whenever they come out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1: First question comes from Olivia. It says, Hey, Granger, just
Speaker 1: wanted to start off by saying that I really love
Speaker 1: your podcast and your music. You really inspire me with
Speaker 1: everything that you've ever done. I'm seventeen, I'm a Mennonite girl,
Speaker 1: and I'm very curious what you think about the head
Speaker 1: covering in one Corinthians eleven, which says, but every woman
Speaker 1: that prayeth orphthought, prophesiath with her head uncovered, dishonor dishonorreth
Speaker 1: her head reading the King James.
Speaker 3: I have grown up.
Speaker 1: In a Minnite church, and I was always taught modesty
Speaker 1: and headcovering. Some people think that Anabaptists are very legalistic,
Speaker 1: but most of the people around me are strong Christians
Speaker 1: and they want to follow the Bible with all their heart.
Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer, and I hope that you don't
Speaker 1: think I'm basing my faith on these things.
Speaker 3: But I want to serve the Lord fully.
Speaker 1: I know that modesty is something that's very important, but
Speaker 1: I'm questioning how important the head covering is. What are
Speaker 1: your thoughts on this. I'm so glad you emailed, Olivia.
Speaker 1: I love our men, and I questions and Marv, if
Speaker 1: you're listening, I'm sending you. I'm sending you this one.
Speaker 3: Buddy.
Speaker 1: Marv is a Marv is a dear, dear brother, and
Speaker 1: we talk. I mean, Marv, what do you say he
Speaker 1: listens to this podcast. We talk every other day. I
Speaker 1: mean we talk quite a bit. He is wise counsel
Speaker 1: for me. He is a friend to me. He's someone
Speaker 1: I can message to grab a prayer request from. And
Speaker 1: he's also a Mennonite pastor in South Carolina.
Speaker 3: You met Marv?
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, great family, and so because of my lack
Speaker 1: of understanding of the Mennonite culture, I typically I'll.
Speaker 3: Consult Marv on this stuff. All the time.
Speaker 1: Marvel also knows a lot about the Amish, and so
Speaker 1: Marvis is is a reborn Christian brother also pastor, and
Speaker 1: he also has a cultivated love for the heritage of.
Speaker 3: The Mennonite people.
Speaker 1: So it's what I'm saying is he didn't like leave
Speaker 1: the Midnite church and become a pastor somewhere else. He's
Speaker 1: still a Mennonite pastor, but his eyes are open. And
Speaker 1: I can't say enough how much I love this guy.
Speaker 3: Actually met him, you know, I met him. I met
Speaker 3: him through this podcast.
Speaker 1: He emailed the podcast, and I emailed him back, and
Speaker 1: we became friends. His question was meant way off topic here.
Speaker 1: His question to me was something like, what are you
Speaker 1: gonna do with Earl Dibbles Junior? Now that you're reborn?
Speaker 1: And there was something about it. People ask that kind
Speaker 1: of thing all the time, but there was something about
Speaker 1: this particular time. I was drawn to his words. I
Speaker 1: was drawn to the email. Not that he said anything
Speaker 1: profound about that, but I was drawn to it. And
Speaker 1: I just replied, and then he replied, and I've replied,
Speaker 1: Then he replied. Then I gave him my number. Then
Speaker 1: he called me, and then we talked for a long
Speaker 1: time and then we just became friends. Yeah, so Amber,
Speaker 1: your thoughts. I know that you've studied this, and you
Speaker 1: have a lot of thoughts on first Corintheen's eleven have
Speaker 1: I I mean, I'm sure you have more than me.
Speaker 2: I mean, I kind of have got this question a
Speaker 2: lot too, but I have never I have never answered
Speaker 2: it because I feel like I have more study to do.
Speaker 2: I know that there were some things that were you
Speaker 2: would do back in the culture. I do believe in modesty.
Speaker 2: I believe that you know, of course, we're called to
Speaker 2: be modest as Christians, and I've in my walk with
Speaker 2: the Lord, I've changed certain things about my dress and
Speaker 2: certain things that I put out there. As far as
Speaker 2: the head covering goes, I think it was R. C.
Speaker 2: Sprull who said he's like one of the only ones
Speaker 2: of the pastors that we kind of study who says
Speaker 2: he still believes that women should have head coverings. I
Speaker 2: believe it's him. We'll have to have to fact check
Speaker 2: me on this, but I mean, obviously, in today's culture,
Speaker 2: nobody none of the women cover their heads, really are
Speaker 2: There are there specific denominations who still do.
Speaker 3: I feel like the Amish in the mid night.
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like I still have to do more
Speaker 2: study of Andecostals to Okay, I feel like I still
Speaker 2: need to do more study on this. Yes, I don't
Speaker 2: know if this is one of those things that was
Speaker 2: in the culture then and doesn't apply now.
Speaker 1: What's happening here is this is a beautiful thing because
Speaker 1: ant Man is now producing the podcast, so now he
Speaker 1: puts these questions in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's like.
Speaker 1: Hey, question number one, deal with this, you know, that's
Speaker 1: that's kind of what he's doing. And so let look,
Speaker 1: I think what both of us, both of us are
Speaker 1: saying Olivia, is something that's very important for a Christian
Speaker 1: to put in their arsenal.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's what I do know. Though what I do
Speaker 1: know is more important than what I don't know when
Speaker 1: it comes to the gospel, because what I do know
Speaker 1: is this is not a matter of salvation.
Speaker 3: This is this is.
Speaker 1: Not a matter of you earning any extra favor with God.
Speaker 1: It is a matter of obedience, and we want to
Speaker 1: be We desire to be as obedient as possible. I
Speaker 1: think I walk through this in similar occasions on this podcast,
Speaker 1: with things like alcohol, someone that's like, hey, man, I
Speaker 1: don't I think I should cut out drinking. And I
Speaker 1: know it's not a sin to actually take a sip
Speaker 1: of alcohol, it's a sin to get drunk. But now
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, and I'm like, hey, that that is your
Speaker 1: I think that's a good view of your sanctification. Me
Speaker 1: and Amber both I'm a seminarian at Southern Baptist and
Speaker 1: I can't drink.
Speaker 3: People ask me that.
Speaker 1: They say, hey, now that you're at Southern, you're enrolled
Speaker 1: at Southern, and you can't drink. Is that offensive to you?
Speaker 1: Do you think that's legalistic?
Speaker 3: I kind of like that question. I'm like, no, I don't.
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's responsible. I think it's
Speaker 1: responsible for Southern to require that of their students. And
Speaker 1: they're not saying it's biblical that you have to and
Speaker 1: they're not saying that this is your salvation depends on it.
Speaker 1: They're saying, hey, if you want to be as obedient
Speaker 1: as possible and stay away from any kind of temptation,
Speaker 1: then we highly encourage, in fact require you.
Speaker 3: To not drink.
Speaker 2: I think that's a good way to test yourself.
Speaker 1: And so, so, Olivia, here's a couple things here's a
Speaker 1: couple more things. If you feel, if you feel the
Speaker 1: pool the which is sanctification, if you feel the need
Speaker 1: to cover your head because of the conviction, because of
Speaker 1: First Grinthians eleven, then I would.
Speaker 3: Say do it.
Speaker 1: The second thing is but but don't do it as
Speaker 1: a it's an obligation. Do it instead as an offering.
Speaker 1: And then here's the other thing. Paul's going to talk
Speaker 1: about how he will be like others so that he
Speaker 1: could win them. Perhaps, so you're in a Mennonite church
Speaker 1: where a lot of girls are covering their head, I
Speaker 1: don't think it would be wise for you to walk
Speaker 1: in one day without a head covering and go. You know,
Speaker 1: I just don't think I think that's a little legalistic.
Speaker 3: I think that can.
Speaker 1: Cause unnecessary disruption. I think it's a healthy conversation outside
Speaker 1: the church building. But on a Sunday morning, I don't
Speaker 1: think that. I don't think that helps anybody with anything.
Speaker 1: I think it's a great conversation to have with girls
Speaker 1: later about hey, you know, this is not dependent on salvation.
Speaker 1: Depend Salvation is not dependent upon this. And that's just
Speaker 1: the tip of the iceberg. With a lot of different
Speaker 1: denominations in what they require, what they need.
Speaker 2: I love that you said that it's okay for us,
Speaker 2: as we're growing in our sanctification and growing in our
Speaker 2: wisdom and knowledge of the scriptures, to say that we
Speaker 2: don't know because we're still searching, we're still learning, and
Speaker 2: there are a couple there are a few things obviously
Speaker 2: that we don't know and we might need to seek
Speaker 2: wise counsel about that. So I would just encourage her
Speaker 2: to seek more wise counsel and just do more study.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, and no one really does. No
Speaker 1: one knows this issue on one Corinthians eleven, So let's
Speaker 1: kick it around. It's a great discussion, and I'm really
Speaker 1: glad you asked it.
Speaker 3: It's another one.
Speaker 1: This comes from Blake. Hey Grainger, my name's Blake. I'm
Speaker 1: eighteen from California, and I love your podcast.
Speaker 3: My question is.
Speaker 1: How do I, or how should I improve my relationship
Speaker 1: with my mom. My parents have been divorced for sixteen years.
Speaker 1: Three years ago, my mom met a new guy. She
Speaker 1: ended up marrying him after a few months and moving
Speaker 1: us while I was in high school for no reason
Speaker 1: other than because this new guy wanted to move near
Speaker 1: the beach. This along with him yelling at me, constantly
Speaker 1: accusing me of things I haven't done. Making my mom
Speaker 1: an alcoholic and constantly crossing the line has caused me
Speaker 1: to build up resentments against my mom for allowing these
Speaker 1: things to happen. Given that my dad was an alcoholic
Speaker 1: and had a DUI, it's hard to see my mom
Speaker 1: go through similar battles because of her new husband. Prior
Speaker 1: to this guy, she drank once or twice a month.
Speaker 1: Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or
Speaker 1: am I just wasting my time due to her actions
Speaker 1: telling me that she doesn't prioritize her relationship with me?
Speaker 3: Thanks Blake, he's eighteen eighteen.
Speaker 2: Did he say at the very end there that she
Speaker 2: tells him she's not prioritizing a relationship.
Speaker 1: Any suggestions on how to deal with these resentments? Or
Speaker 1: am I just wasting my time due to her actions?
Speaker 1: Telling her actions?
Speaker 3: Telling me?
Speaker 1: Okay, so his question is how do I build or
Speaker 1: improve my relationship with my mom?
Speaker 2: I'm going to say the first thing to do is
Speaker 2: don't give up on praying. And I mean, you are
Speaker 2: technically an adult now and you can't control what your
Speaker 2: mom does, but you can control your response to it,
Speaker 2: and I would continue to pray, and just you know,
Speaker 2: the Bible tells us to put away anger and resentment
Speaker 2: and all those things, and that's hard to do in
Speaker 2: our flesh, so we cannot do that apart from the
Speaker 2: Holy Spirit. So first I would say, develop your relationship
Speaker 2: with the Lord and continue to pray. But then also
Speaker 2: just go to her honestly and just say you're worried
Speaker 2: about her, and you love her and you want to
Speaker 2: see her in a good place, and you don't want
Speaker 2: to see her, you know, in pain or sick or
Speaker 2: drinking all the time. It's a hard situation to be
Speaker 2: in because you do care about your mom, but she's
Speaker 2: also you know, she probably thinks, well, I've raised my son,
Speaker 2: now it's time for me to have my life with
Speaker 2: this new husband or boyfriend or it's tricky. It's tricky.
Speaker 2: I would just be in constant prayer. In constant prayer.
Speaker 2: You have to do that in slow now, bless you.
Speaker 3: That's the smith. You know, like.
Speaker 1: This if you were fifteen, fourteen, twelve, I'd have probably
Speaker 1: a different answer at eighteen. If you want to, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go buy your question. I'm gonna dissect your question,
Speaker 1: because your question is not how do I heal my mom?
Speaker 1: How do I help my mom? How do I tell
Speaker 1: my mom that this guy's bad for her? That's not
Speaker 1: your question. Your question is how should I improve my
Speaker 1: relationship with my mom? And so I'm going to just
Speaker 1: go with that. I'm gonna go with your question and
Speaker 1: not try to dig any deeper. I think that's fair enough.
Speaker 1: You want to improve your relationship with your mom, lover,
Speaker 1: forgive her, give her grace. See from her perspective, she
Speaker 1: has fallen twice now for an alcoholic. It's easy to
Speaker 1: see why she's drinking more because she's around an alcoholic.
Speaker 3: He's an alcoholic, right, this guy, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1: Easy to It's like it's easy to become a smoker
Speaker 1: when you live in with a smoker. So that's understandable.
Speaker 1: So see that from her perspective, See that she is
Speaker 1: probably hurting through all this. She probably misses you, loves you.
Speaker 1: My suggestion to improve the relationship is to love her,
Speaker 1: have grace for her, forgive her. And it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you need to trust her or trust this new guy,
Speaker 1: or it doesn't mean you have to be happy that
Speaker 1: she moved, because those are real feelings that you're really experiencing.
Speaker 1: So instead tell her, Mom, I love you. I genuinely
Speaker 1: want what's best for you. You know, I don't particularly
Speaker 1: care for this new guy, but I do want you
Speaker 1: to be happy, and I want to be someone you
Speaker 1: can come to to get advice, someone you could you
Speaker 1: could lean on. You could trust me, Mom, because I
Speaker 1: love you and I always will regardless of what you do,
Speaker 1: regardless of what you do with this guy. I love
Speaker 1: you and I genuinely want the best for you.
Speaker 3: And also I forgive you.
Speaker 1: I know that I've been grumpy, I've been sharp and
Speaker 1: mean lately telling you my opinions about moving and telling
Speaker 1: you what I think about this new guy, and I
Speaker 1: don't ever want to hurt you, and I just want
Speaker 1: to say I'm sorry and I forgive you. That's a
Speaker 1: really good place to start to improve a relationship you.
Speaker 1: You got all kinds of green grass to run in
Speaker 1: after that, but you start with that, with that stance
Speaker 1: of humility, I think you're gonna be in a much
Speaker 1: better place to build something positive with your mom. Next
Speaker 1: question comes from anonymous and it says, Hey, Granger, I
Speaker 1: lost my husband and recently started dating I've been on
Speaker 1: a few dates, and each of them expected to sleep
Speaker 1: with me. On the first date. I was in shock.
Speaker 1: One of them even said, come on, we.
Speaker 3: Are adults here, we could do what we.
Speaker 1: Want, which I didn't disagree on this point. I said, exactly,
Speaker 1: and I am not sleeping with you now and probably never.
Speaker 1: But I didn't want to sleep with a man that
Speaker 1: I barely knew, needless to say, he was history.
Speaker 3: Recently, I met a man that I may end up
Speaker 3: wanting to sleep with.
Speaker 1: I care about him enough to start a serious relationship with.
Speaker 1: Does the Bible speak about a widow and sex? This
Speaker 1: man respects my decision to wait until I'm ready. I'm
Speaker 1: after a serious relationship. I do not plan to just
Speaker 1: go on a date from now on. Tell me whether
Speaker 1: the Bible speaks on this or not? And what are
Speaker 1: your thoughts on this? And your wife too? Oh you
Speaker 1: happen to be here in Christian love? Anonymous? All right, Anonymous,
Speaker 1: let's dig in this is This is very, very, very easy,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't make it a bad question. It's a
Speaker 1: great question. I'm glad you asked, but it's very easy.
Speaker 1: The answer is no, You're not going to be condoned,
Speaker 1: whether a widow or whether you're just single outside of
Speaker 1: marriage to be in a sexual relationship.
Speaker 3: What do I say after that? I wonder, I wonder
Speaker 3: if you are a Christian? Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to take this out of context
Speaker 1: and think and just assume that you are a Christian
Speaker 1: or that maybe you're a cultural Christian and you're just
Speaker 1: kind of going by the book, like, Hey, what boxes
Speaker 1: do I need to check? I'm a Christian because that's
Speaker 1: the way I grew up. What boxes am I checking again?
Speaker 3: Granger? Will you remind me what the Bible says?
Speaker 1: When in fact I would so encourage you to see
Speaker 1: for yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to go and see.
Speaker 1: And this is probably a good time for me to
Speaker 1: tell you the gospel because, and maybe this goes with
Speaker 1: the head covering conversation as well, that all of us
Speaker 1: are sinners. We have all fallen short of the glory
Speaker 1: of God. Our own conscience testifies to that that we
Speaker 1: have messed up, that we have fallen short in all
Speaker 1: different ways, all of us in different ways. But all
Speaker 1: of us are rebels, enemies of God, really a perfect
Speaker 1: holy God. We have turned our back on him. We
Speaker 1: have gone our own way.
Speaker 3: We've said.
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm going to decide what I do,
Speaker 1: and I might go check and see what that old
Speaker 1: Bible says, or may ask this podcast, But really, in general,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do what I want because you know why,
Speaker 1: like the email says, because I'm an adult and I
Speaker 1: do what I want, not what some God tells me
Speaker 1: to do. Granger, that's not what you said, but that's
Speaker 1: the implication. God knowing this, knowing that everyone had rebelled
Speaker 1: against him, all all of us have fallen short. There
Speaker 1: is no one good, no, not even one, thus says
Speaker 1: the Bible, as if I was Billy Graham. Knowing this,
Speaker 1: God enters his own creation as a man living the
Speaker 1: perfect life, fulfilling the law perfectly, whether it's a head covering,
Speaker 1: or whether it's alcohol, or whether it's premarital or widow sex,
Speaker 1: all of the law. He fulfilled it perfectly, sinless, perfection
Speaker 1: in a way that no one that's ever walked on
Speaker 1: this earth ever has. And you know what we did
Speaker 1: when we knew that, we killed him for it. I
Speaker 1: say we talking about humanity. He went to the cross,
Speaker 1: as predestined, as perfectly planned, so that upon that cross
Speaker 1: he took on the sin, the punishment that we deserved
Speaker 1: as sinners, to be in the presence of a holy God.
Speaker 1: To be reconciled and brought to God, the Bible says,
Speaker 1: would require perfection. We didn't have it. Someone's got to
Speaker 1: get punished for that. Jesus took on that pun himself
Speaker 1: and says, anyone that turns from themselves, that turns away
Speaker 1: from this sin, turns to me.
Speaker 3: Will have eternal life.
Speaker 1: Three days later, he was raised from the grid from
Speaker 1: the grave, proving his divinity, proving that the sacrifice that.
Speaker 3: He gave to God was worthy.
Speaker 1: Anyone that believes that looks to him, turns from their
Speaker 1: old self and turns to him will be saved.
Speaker 3: Through that salvation.
Speaker 1: You start feeling the sanctification, and you're gonna start feeling
Speaker 1: some things. You're gonna have a craving to read God's word,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a craving to be around God's people,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have a craving to walk in obedience,
Speaker 1: which could mean a head covering, it could mean staying
Speaker 1: away from alcohol. Like the last email or this one,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna not have sex until I'm married.
Speaker 2: I agree, I don't think I need to add any
Speaker 2: more to that.
Speaker 1: Next question comes from Anna, Hey, Grander, love your podcast
Speaker 1: and that you're unashamed of the gospel, and I just
Speaker 1: want to thank you and ever for helping me grow
Speaker 1: closer to Jesus. I to quickly respond to that, I
Speaker 1: am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the
Speaker 1: power of God into salvation. Second paragraph here says I'd
Speaker 1: also known and liked your music, but I stumbled across
Speaker 1: your channel in May of twenty twenty one, and now
Speaker 1: I watch Dismiss all the time and rise with Hamber.
Speaker 1: I know that God brought me to your channel to
Speaker 1: bring me closer to Him because of what I'm going
Speaker 1: through now. I lost my uncle in December of twenty
Speaker 1: two to a sudden heart attack. I'm still in shock
Speaker 1: and my family is hurting so much. I just can't
Speaker 1: believe he's gone. On top of this, I'm single and
Speaker 1: I've never felt more alone in my life. I'm reading
Speaker 1: my Bible every day and praying, but I still feel stuck.
Speaker 1: Do you have any suggestions on how to get through this?
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, Annah, I'll let you go with this.
Speaker 2: Did she say how long?
Speaker 3: As she said December twenty two, so it's been a year.
Speaker 2: I think everything that you're feeling is okay, and there's
Speaker 2: no real timeline of grief. Now, you don't want to
Speaker 2: pitch a tent and stay there. You know you're saying
Speaker 2: that you're feeling stuck. I think it's natural and normal
Speaker 2: to feel alone and scared and angry and full of
Speaker 2: sadness and grief for somebody that you love. And I
Speaker 2: pray that he was a Christian. I pray that he
Speaker 2: is with the Lord now, and when we are in
Speaker 2: Christ we go from life to life. There is there
Speaker 2: is no death. And I think you're doing everything that
Speaker 2: you need to be doing by reading your word, continually praying,
Speaker 2: and just be patient and know that God is working
Speaker 2: even when you don't feel it, and even when you
Speaker 2: don't see it. Just because you don't feel him doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that that he's not there, that he's not moving,
Speaker 2: that he's not working. So don't be so hard on yourself.
Speaker 2: Give yourself grace.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: It's like you said, if this was five years from
Speaker 2: now or ten years from now, I would say something different.
Speaker 2: But this is still really fresh and everyone is still
Speaker 2: hurting and still grieving. So I would just tell you
Speaker 2: to continue to I don't know if you're plugged into
Speaker 2: a local church, but if you're feeling lonely, I would
Speaker 2: say to get plugged into a local church and have
Speaker 2: the body of believers surround you and walk with you
Speaker 2: through this grief and just continue to be in your word,
Speaker 2: like you say that you're doing right now.
Speaker 3: I don't think I have anything to add to that
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 2: Does she ask any other questions or just she feels stuck.
Speaker 1: She feels stuck, and like you said, it's very normal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hear you. The thing I'll tell you too, Anna,
Speaker 1: is that it's been one year now. You should see
Speaker 1: in this year two a significant improvement. Yeah, Because what's
Speaker 1: part of what's making this tough is your family. Your
Speaker 1: family's hurting so much, and so when you start to
Speaker 1: your spirits starting to lift a little bit, you're starting
Speaker 1: to feel a little bit better, and then you go
Speaker 1: to your aunt's house and everyone's crying.
Speaker 3: It's like.
Speaker 1: It reminds you of the reality that you're in. That
Speaker 1: we live in a fallen world where there is death
Speaker 1: and mortality very evident to us. And so I think
Speaker 1: that's part of what's going on is it's not just
Speaker 1: you because you said, I'm in shock and my family
Speaker 1: is hurting so much.
Speaker 3: I just can't believe he's gone.
Speaker 1: And there's also gonna be a lot more of this
Speaker 1: coming up in your life, not just your uncle, It's
Speaker 1: coming to everyone. You're doing the right things, You're seeking
Speaker 1: the right counsel. But that use this also as a
Speaker 1: it's a good magnifier that there is an end on
Speaker 1: this earth for everyone. What are you gonna do with that?
Speaker 1: What are you gonna do with the time you have now?
Speaker 1: Who are you gonna tell the gospel to now before
Speaker 1: their time is up, before a sudden heart attack hits
Speaker 1: like it did my dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and think about the time that we're coming into,
Speaker 2: you know, the Christmas season, the Advent season. This is
Speaker 2: the perfect time. You just shared the gospel like this
Speaker 2: is what God came to do, was to save us
Speaker 2: and to bring us into right relationship with Him and
Speaker 2: for us to someday be on the new Heaven and
Speaker 2: the new Earth. This gives us hope. You can grieve
Speaker 2: with hope. If you're in your Bible, you should be
Speaker 2: able to be grieving with hope. And I would say
Speaker 2: it looks it's going to be a year. I guess
Speaker 2: right now at December to December, I would say, go
Speaker 2: out and do something special in remembrance of him on
Speaker 2: that day. That's what we try to do for River
Speaker 2: or Granger's dad, is just to remember them in a
Speaker 2: special way and go do something for somebody else. When
Speaker 2: you take the focus off of yourself and go help
Speaker 2: somebody else, it helps to give you purpose through that pain.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 1: Best question comes from Jay and it says, hey, Grangdeer
Speaker 1: recently discovered your podcast and your music and has changed
Speaker 1: my life. I'm seventeen, my name is Jay. Just wanted
Speaker 1: us to get your opinion on tattoos. I know you
Speaker 1: have some, but my dad thinks that it mars your
Speaker 1: body and God created in a specific way and to
Speaker 1: change it permanently is against his will.
Speaker 3: I want you.
Speaker 1: I want to get one myself when I turn of age.
Speaker 1: But what about tattoos of God or Christ? If they
Speaker 1: show someone's love for God? If they show someone's love
Speaker 1: for God, is it bad to have Any thoughts on
Speaker 1: this would be much appreciated. Also, could you tell me
Speaker 1: what the meaning of the barbarier tattoo on your arm?
Speaker 1: And why you say you say us all the way around.
Speaker 1: Thanks love you man and everything you're doing.
Speaker 3: Thank you Jay.
Speaker 1: The first thing is that barboarer tattoos fake. It's from
Speaker 1: a sharpie.
Speaker 2: We used to draw it on before every show, and
Speaker 2: now you just kind of you just didn't care anymore.
Speaker 1: It's part of the it's part of the humor of
Speaker 1: Earl when we first created him that he would that
Speaker 1: It's like, there's a you think of getting a barbarer
Speaker 1: two tattoo would hurt because it goes kind of under
Speaker 1: the armpit, goes all the way around, and so there
Speaker 1: would be guys according to Earl. In my mind, Earle
Speaker 1: would think that maybe a city boy would get a
Speaker 1: tattoo of a barbed wire, but he would stop right
Speaker 1: under the armpit where it actually hurt. And so Earle saying,
Speaker 1: mine goes all the way around, because I don't care
Speaker 1: about the pain.
Speaker 3: Of course it goes all the way around.
Speaker 1: It's like Earl is always having an argument with himself
Speaker 1: to a hypothetical city boy accusation, like does it go
Speaker 1: all the way around, Earl, even where it hurts in
Speaker 1: the soft part of your armpit.
Speaker 3: Of course it goes all the way around.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm doing after midnight, and I'm Earl
Speaker 1: when I have this voice, it's very difficult.
Speaker 3: I'm earld devil's chine. It doesn't do it. It doesn't
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: Jay, let me jump in on your question here, and
Speaker 1: Amber could jump in as well. This is interesting. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if ant Man put these together on purpose
Speaker 1: for a little theme. But now we're talking about head coverings,
Speaker 1: extramarital sex, and now Tatto who's This is the episode
Speaker 1: of obedience for sure, and obedience versus legalism moralism. So
Speaker 1: let me dissect your question.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: The first thing I want to say is your dad
Speaker 1: thinks that it mars your body, and God created it
Speaker 1: the body in a specific way, and to change it
Speaker 1: permanently is against his will.
Speaker 2: Half truth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting God's will as we pray, like Jesus
Speaker 1: taught us, your will be done on earth as it
Speaker 1: is in heaven, meaning your will is.
Speaker 3: Going to be done.
Speaker 1: We pray for it to be done, and we praise
Speaker 1: you that it will be done. There is nothing changing that.
Speaker 1: So to say that you change your body is against
Speaker 1: or going against his will. That's a harsh way of
Speaker 1: saying it to say, it would be better to say,
Speaker 1: does it displease him? Marring my does marring my body
Speaker 1: displease a Holy God? I think that would be a
Speaker 1: better way to say it. And once again here we go,
Speaker 1: similar to head coverings. This is going to be something
Speaker 1: that you are going to You can go to Leviticus
Speaker 1: for this, but you're not gonna see much more after
Speaker 1: that in the New Testament. You're gonna need to stick
Speaker 1: with your sanctification. You need You're gonna need to stick
Speaker 1: with what you you are feeling as you are going
Speaker 1: through your own quiet time. If I was going to
Speaker 1: give you an opinion, I would say, brother, don't don't
Speaker 1: get any That would be my what my ask to you.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it now. If I was going to
Speaker 1: start all over as a reborn Christian, I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3: Not because of legalism, not because of waralism. But why
Speaker 3: would I risk that? Why would I risk displeasing God?
Speaker 3: What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2: It's like you said, it's was spoken about in Leviticus
Speaker 2: and not really in the New Testament, And so back
Speaker 2: then it was seen, as you know, the pagan kind
Speaker 2: of people would tattoo their body and mar their body
Speaker 2: up with their gods, and so it was. It was forbidden,
Speaker 2: and it's not.
Speaker 1: And I'll just jump in to it. In addition to that,
Speaker 1: the levitical laws, the Mosaic law itself was a separation
Speaker 1: be holy. They wanted God wanted the Israelites his people
Speaker 1: to be holy. To better define what that means. It means,
Speaker 1: be separate. Don't be like the world. We're gonna set you.
Speaker 1: I want to set you apart. Don't be like them.
Speaker 1: Don't eat what they eat, don't wear what they wear,
Speaker 1: don't worship the way they worship. Don't tattoo your bodies
Speaker 1: like they tattooed their bodies. You are holy just like
Speaker 1: I am holy. I want you to be holy. Set apart.
Speaker 1: And there are certain things that they're doing that mark them,
Speaker 1: like those men they have long hair, those women that
Speaker 1: have short hair. There's certain things they're doing that setting
Speaker 1: it's making them worldly. Don't do those things. We are
Speaker 1: now outside of that covenant. We are now part of
Speaker 1: the new covenant. That crisis fulfilled the law, all of it,
Speaker 1: every dot and iota of it, so we don't look
Speaker 1: at it as breaking a law. When it comes to
Speaker 1: the ceremonial slash civil laws of the time. We do
Speaker 1: absolutely still respect and keep and live by the moral
Speaker 1: version of the law, and so keep that in mind
Speaker 1: when you're thinking about all of the many rules and.
Speaker 3: Lividic gets go ahead.
Speaker 2: And I don't think getting a tattoo now would be sin. Obviously,
Speaker 2: if you're putting some sort of sorcery type thing on
Speaker 2: your body, then yes, But I don't think getting across
Speaker 2: on your body would be seen as sin. If you're
Speaker 2: doing something that reminds you of your love for the Lord,
Speaker 2: I don't think, based on the New Testament, that would
Speaker 2: be sin. Like Granger said, Jesus came to fulfill the law,
Speaker 2: were not held under that law anymore. But I do
Speaker 2: think if you're wrestling with it and thinking about it
Speaker 2: and you're not quite at peace about it, just wait,
Speaker 2: just don't do it yet. I will tell you every
Speaker 2: tattoo that I've gotten I regret. You know, I wasn't
Speaker 2: a Christian. They don't mean anything. They're just ridiculous, and
Speaker 2: they're on my body now unless I get them removed forever.
Speaker 2: But I also did get across when I got baptized
Speaker 2: and I got a little lightning bolt for river, and
Speaker 2: I don't think that was sin in doing that. I
Speaker 2: think you should, like Granger said, listen to your own
Speaker 2: conviction about it. You're going through your own sanctification process.
Speaker 2: But I don't think like your dad said, it's against
Speaker 2: God's will. However, I will say, are our bodies are
Speaker 2: a temple of the Holy Spirit, and so that could
Speaker 2: be something that you're wrestling with as well. So listen
Speaker 2: to your own conviction about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2: Just don't do it. Yeah, if you're if you're not ready,
Speaker 2: and you're not.
Speaker 1: If you decide to do it, don't get it. You said,
Speaker 1: what about tattoos of God or Christ?
Speaker 3: Don't do that. Do not get a tattoo of Christ on.
Speaker 2: You like a I think I don't think you meant
Speaker 2: like a photo of Jesus.
Speaker 3: I think he did.
Speaker 2: Okay, I was thinking like a cross or something.
Speaker 1: Don't do that. That would be breaking a commandment as well.
Speaker 1: Show today is brought to you, guys by better help
Speaker 1: with all of these deep topics that we get into.
Speaker 1: There is always a consideration that therapy can be very helpful.
Speaker 3: I've said this many times.
Speaker 1: I'm not a therapist, but sometimes the questions I get
Speaker 1: on this podcast require some kind of therapy in terms
Speaker 1: of someone professional listening to you, so that you could
Speaker 1: walk through your issues with someone that's trained and actually
Speaker 1: educated in order to help direct you towards a path
Speaker 1: of feeling better. Certainly, when Amber and I went through
Speaker 1: our most traumatic experience, therapy was very helpful. Now you
Speaker 1: might be thinking, well, that's good for you, Granger, but
Speaker 1: therapy is not for me. I'm not into walking into
Speaker 1: some place and laying down on a green couch and
Speaker 1: telling somebody my problems. Well, right now, I want to
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Speaker 1: and you could book me for a video message saying
Speaker 1: anything you want right now this time a season, it's
Speaker 1: easy for me to say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, a
Speaker 1: word of encouragement, happy birthday, happy anniversary, whatever it might be.
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Speaker 1: that's last minute. You could go to cameo dot com
Speaker 1: slash Granger Smith or download the cameo app and search
Speaker 1: for me Granger Smith.
Speaker 3: It's super easy.
Speaker 1: It comes up on my phone and I get your
Speaker 1: message and send the customized message. It comes back to
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Speaker 1: once again, that's cameo dot com slash Granger Smith.
Speaker 2: People always think that Christmas is such a joyful time,
Speaker 2: and it is because we have what Christ did for
Speaker 2: us and we look forward, you know, to remembering his
Speaker 2: birth and what he came to do. And we look
Speaker 2: forward to his return. But for most it's the most
Speaker 2: wonderful time of the year, or some other people it's not.
Speaker 2: They're sad and lonely or grieving.
Speaker 1: What do you tell someone that's looking at this holiday
Speaker 1: season right now and they were missing somebody at their
Speaker 1: at the dinner table, or maybe they were alone. Actually
Speaker 1: I can't imagine. There's all kinds of scenarios. Maybe a
Speaker 1: widow that lost her husband and this is the first
Speaker 1: Christmas she has a house alone to herself.
Speaker 3: How do you speak to that?
Speaker 2: I would say, if they're listening to this the next day,
Speaker 2: I would say, congratulations, you made it through that day,
Speaker 2: and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you had
Speaker 2: to go through that. But the sun rose again, and
Speaker 2: you know, like the scripture says, weeping may terry for
Speaker 2: the night, but joy comes in the morning. And I
Speaker 2: pray that with God's God gives you new morning mercies
Speaker 2: every single day, and that you can wake up to
Speaker 2: this new day and know I made it through yesterday,
Speaker 2: I did it. I can do it again, and just
Speaker 2: keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 1: The movie Castaway Tom Hanks not a Christian movie, but
Speaker 1: do you remember at the very end when he's talking
Speaker 1: to Kelly and he's explaining that he almost killed himself
Speaker 1: on that island after three years. I think the story.
Speaker 1: I love that movie, and he's talking about it and
Speaker 1: he was getting ready to give up, and he was like, but.
Speaker 3: The sun still rises. And one day the tide brought
Speaker 3: me a sail. It was a port of body.
Speaker 1: And I say that to anyone too, that I think
Speaker 1: that's beautiful that you said that the sun still rises.
Speaker 1: And the only way to know that it does is
Speaker 1: to get up the next morning and open your curtains
Speaker 1: and make your bed, and brush your teeth and put
Speaker 1: on some clothes and look out at the sky. And God,
Speaker 1: you were consistently putting us with a new day. The
Speaker 1: earth rotated again, and there's the sun so consistent, never
Speaker 1: misses morning, never misses. Yeah, that sounds so trite, so
Speaker 1: stupid almost to say it that way. But if we
Speaker 1: think about God, one of the most beautiful things about
Speaker 1: God's creation is the consistency that he put us in.
Speaker 1: We could rely that tomorrow. We know tomorrow the sun
Speaker 1: will come up, and there is so much peace.
Speaker 3: In that consistency.
Speaker 1: Whether it's December twenty fourth or fifth, or December twenty sixth,
Speaker 1: or New Year's Eve or New Year's morning.
Speaker 3: The sun will rise.
Speaker 1: Until he commands that it doesn't. He has it in
Speaker 1: a loop right now. He has earth in a loop
Speaker 1: until he tells it to stop. That is a crazy thought.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And so also to that point, are you right
Speaker 2: with the Lord? Because it's going to come like a
Speaker 2: thief in the night when he tells it to stop.
Speaker 2: So are you right? Are you right with Jesus? Did
Speaker 2: you listen to the gospel that Granger just shared? Do
Speaker 2: you know where you're going when that sun doesn't come
Speaker 2: up again?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And to the to the people that are in a
Speaker 1: community that are missing someone that maybe this is a
Speaker 1: really hard holiday season. They maybe they took a vacation
Speaker 1: from Christmas and left the house and they're off somewhere
Speaker 1: else right now. And maybe listening to this podcast, Amber
Speaker 1: and I could both tell you that Christmas will be
Speaker 1: what it used to be again. You have a tendency
Speaker 1: sometimes to think, well, not only did I lose my
Speaker 1: loved one, but I also lost Christmas.
Speaker 3: I also lost Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: And because I lost my loved one, now I also
Speaker 1: don't get to celebrate my favorite holiday, and that now
Speaker 1: my childhood's gone. So not only did I lose my
Speaker 1: loved one, but I have erased the joy of my childhood.
Speaker 1: What now we have a tendency like our brain starts
Speaker 1: doing weird.
Speaker 3: Tricks like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you have to kind of put put
Speaker 1: our feelings on top of the authority of what we
Speaker 1: know and go.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1: The sun will rise. Well, we will move forward. We
Speaker 1: will have a normal Christmas again. We will feel joy
Speaker 1: on Christmas morning again.
Speaker 3: That's a promise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we still have a question left on this episode.
Speaker 3: We should ask it from Biff. I love that name.
Speaker 3: If yes, you know I love back to the future.
Speaker 1: Hey, Granger, been listening to the pod for a long
Speaker 1: time and I really do enjoy what I've heard. So
Speaker 1: my wife and I are in a hard place in
Speaker 1: our lives. We've decided to separate and go back to
Speaker 1: just dating each other to hopefully get back to a
Speaker 1: happy life with each other. I've put everything in God's hands.
Speaker 1: I pray about it every day. I'm scared to death
Speaker 1: my wife is going to want to divorce me in
Speaker 1: the end. Our pastor has told us we need to
Speaker 1: talk to other people. My wife is definitely doing that,
Speaker 1: but I can't bring myself to it. I love her
Speaker 1: so much. I'm working on myself, trying to be better
Speaker 1: for myself and my wife. We've spent the weekend together
Speaker 1: and I got extremely jealous of her talking to another guy.
Speaker 1: She says that he's just a friend, and he told
Speaker 1: me to look at who she chose to spend the
Speaker 1: weekend with, but Granger, It's hard. I got so jealous
Speaker 1: when we ended up fighting about it. Some advice is
Speaker 1: greatly appreciated. Sincerely, A Western a West Texas A West.
Speaker 3: Texan named Biff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Biff Man, thank you for emailing. I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: that you're going through this. I see this play out
Speaker 1: with people often.
Speaker 3: You're not alone.
Speaker 1: Say that first I see this play out, and where
Speaker 1: I see the mistakes happening is win, Biff. You cannot
Speaker 1: hold back your anger? Are your jealousy? Are your obsessiveness?
Speaker 1: Are your neediness? Not saying you have it, but I'm
Speaker 1: saying that's where I see this go wrong. From the
Speaker 1: guy's perspective, I'm sure you've talked to a lot of girls,
Speaker 1: but when I see this happening to a guy. I
Speaker 1: have two or three in my life right now. One
Speaker 1: of them just kind of divorce and they cannot bring themselves,
Speaker 1: they cannot humble themselves and squash their pride enough to
Speaker 1: say stop it, Biff, don't say don't say anything about
Speaker 1: that guy.
Speaker 3: Don't sit that's stupid.
Speaker 1: Don't do it. Don't do it. And you did, and
Speaker 1: you did, and you just tore down another layer of
Speaker 1: anything that you had built. Two steps back, one step forward.
Speaker 1: I'm what I'm not saying is it's your fault. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying she's in the right and you're messing this
Speaker 1: all up. I'm just saying, from my perspective, pride is
Speaker 1: a huge enemy in this situation. I also think churches
Speaker 1: fail couples. A lot of bad churches out there. Not
Speaker 1: saying you're in a bad church, I'm just saying I
Speaker 1: think you probably are.
Speaker 2: Un must thing you're in a bad church. I'm just
Speaker 2: saying I think you probably are.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm not saying I'm sure of it. I'm saying
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure of it because all I get out
Speaker 1: of this is our pastor told us we need to
Speaker 1: talk to other people.
Speaker 3: What kind of advice is that? Pastor?
Speaker 1: If a church was operating correctly biblically, if it was
Speaker 1: acting soundly like it's supposed to, we.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't need AA.
Speaker 1: We wouldn't need extramarital counseling, we wouldn't need grief share.
Speaker 1: Those things are great, but we wouldn't need them. We
Speaker 1: could use them, but we wouldn't need them because the
Speaker 1: church would provide the need for the sheep. The pastor,
Speaker 1: the shepherd provides for the sheep, and he doesn't say
Speaker 1: you need to talk to other people. Hey, pastor, if
Speaker 1: you're listening, this guy Biff might have just said that wrong.
Speaker 1: And maybe that's not Maybe there's more to the story
Speaker 1: that probably is. Look if whenever you got married and
Speaker 1: you said your vows, there was something probably in your
Speaker 1: vows that said something about for better or for worse,
Speaker 1: for richer or for poorer, for insickness and health. Love,
Speaker 1: A true love for your spouse will persist past the
Speaker 1: time when you stop benefiting from it. Think about that.
Speaker 3: Let me say it again.
Speaker 1: A true love for your spouse will persist longer than
Speaker 1: the time when you stop benefiting from it. Man, that
Speaker 1: is an epidemic in this country when people stop getting
Speaker 1: when they stop benefiting from the marriage. They think I'm out,
Speaker 1: or we gotta separate, or we gotta we gotta try
Speaker 1: something new, we gotta date somebody else. I'm no longer happy.
Speaker 1: I'm not happy, me me, me, I'm not getting what
Speaker 1: I want.
Speaker 3: And you're like, hey, did you not say for better
Speaker 3: or for worse? This is worse. It's not.
Speaker 1: I will marry you for better. When you stop benefiting.
Speaker 1: You should keep loving selflesslie, you should stop. You should suppress,
Speaker 1: work to suppress the jealousy, work to suppress these feelings
Speaker 1: of anger. That Biff, I'm pretty sure you got. I
Speaker 1: love you, brother, and I'm so glad you emailed. But
Speaker 1: if I was talking to you on text, this is
Speaker 1: how I would talk to you, and this is how
Speaker 1: we talk to these other guys. I'm like, listen to me.
Speaker 1: Stop being so stubborn. Get your hard head out of this.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: These questions are hard because we don't know the whole
Speaker 2: gist of your marriage. We don't know what's gone on
Speaker 2: in your marriage to cause this conflict, to cause you
Speaker 2: guys to be in this space. So, first of all,
Speaker 2: I wanted to say I was glad you were walking
Speaker 2: through it. With a pastor. But then for them to
Speaker 2: say you should talk to other people, I don't know
Speaker 2: if they meant counseling or other couples or that's kind
Speaker 2: of vague. I would also say it's good that you
Speaker 2: guys are trying to date each other again. You know,
Speaker 2: I think a lot of couples they get into this
Speaker 2: rut where they don't date each other. They get busy
Speaker 2: with work or busy with kids, and they kind of
Speaker 2: their husband or wife go on the back burner. So
Speaker 2: you have to be intentional and make time and date
Speaker 2: each other, which is great that you'll are doing that.
Speaker 2: The whole thing about talking to another guy, I don't
Speaker 2: know if that was through text or Facebook or if
Speaker 2: that was in person. So while I agree with Granger
Speaker 2: and saying you should swallow your pride and you should
Speaker 2: try to you know, the verse in Corinthian says love
Speaker 2: is not jealous, you have to try to try to
Speaker 2: swallow that. I also think that coming from a woman,
Speaker 2: if there was something that I knew would make my
Speaker 2: husband jealous, I would try everything in my power not
Speaker 2: to do it. So I'm not saying you can't ever
Speaker 2: like say hello to somebody and be kind and cordial.
Speaker 2: But if there's something that I know is gonna upset Granger,
Speaker 2: if he was really didn't want me to talk to
Speaker 2: another guy because he thought I was flirting, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 3: I'm not speaking for her. I'm just speaking for.
Speaker 2: Biff, right, r right. He asked the question, So I
Speaker 2: was just speaking for a woman's perspective. So yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't know she's triggering him, Yeah, she's triggering. I would
Speaker 2: just say, continue to seek wise counsel, continue to date
Speaker 2: each other, and try to get back to that place
Speaker 2: that you were. Like Granger said, I saw something the
Speaker 2: other day that said, your marriage doesn't have to end,
Speaker 2: but this version of your marriage can end. Like you,
Speaker 2: guys can stop this right now. You don't have to
Speaker 2: you don't have to get a divorce, you don't have
Speaker 2: to be separated. You can just say, look, we're gonna
Speaker 2: stop this right now. We're gonna choose each other. We're
Speaker 2: going to date each other. We're going to see what
Speaker 2: makes the other person upset. We're not going to do that.
Speaker 2: We're going to pour into each other. And another thing
Speaker 2: is I think it was John Hybrid that said the
Speaker 2: best version that you can the best thing you can
Speaker 2: do for your husband and your wife is to devote
Speaker 2: time to your holiness. If you are seeking yourself to
Speaker 2: be holy, you will do everything that the Bible says
Speaker 2: to honor your husband or your wife. So, if you
Speaker 2: guys are both chasing after Christ, you're gonna love each other.
Speaker 2: You're gonna choose each other. You're gonna have that first
Speaker 2: Corinthian's love. So I would say, work on your walk
Speaker 2: with the Lord.
Speaker 3: And if that's so good, that's so good.
Speaker 1: You know you can't say that, If you can't say
Speaker 1: I've put everything in God's hands.
Speaker 3: Oh, pray about it every day. I'm scared to death.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say. I was gonna say that too.
Speaker 2: I've heard so many people say, I'm just giving it
Speaker 2: to God. I'm just giving it up. I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: let him do. Okay, Yes, we want to surrender everything
Speaker 2: to God. But that's not a that's not passive.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Still, it's active, it's active faith. You're still going to
Speaker 2: do things to work closer to your to your loved
Speaker 2: one too, to choose them, to leave little notes for
Speaker 2: them like you have to choose to do things to
Speaker 2: show your love for them. You can't just say, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm just giving up. I'm just giving it to God
Speaker 2: and praying he's gonna do a miracle. Like no, you
Speaker 2: have to be active in your relationship.
Speaker 3: So good. Thanks, love it.
Speaker 1: That's all I got, y'all. We'll see you next episode.
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas, Merry Christmasy. Thanks for joining me on the
Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
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Speaker 3: Yigi