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Speaker 1: Welcome to you Stuff you Should Know from house Stuff

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Speaker 1: Works dot com. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm

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Speaker 1: Josh Clark. There's Charles W. Chuck Bryant that makes the

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Speaker 1: Stuff you Should Know the podcast Good Grief. Yes, Good Grief.

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Speaker 1: I looked that up. Would you come up with? Well,

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Speaker 1: it just struck me at you know, because Charlie Brown

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Speaker 1: says it. You know, that's where I know it from.

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Speaker 1: Then I thought, why would where did that come from?

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Speaker 1: Because of from one of those things, And it's just

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Speaker 1: apparently they think it's just what's called the minst oath,

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Speaker 1: like when you substitute God for good gravy or good

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Speaker 1: googly easier, I got you googly movie googly movily. But

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Speaker 1: then I thought grief was weird because that's such a

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Speaker 1: specific thing. But then good gracious gracious is very specific too,

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Speaker 1: and like ill fitting. So I guess it's just a

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Speaker 1: minstath good grief. Well, maybe good gracious came from good

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Speaker 1: grace and somebody's like just feeling a little buzzed on

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Speaker 1: knops and they added gracious instead. Maybe so minced toad's

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Speaker 1: good gravy. That's good. It's probably the funniest thing will

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Speaker 1: happen in this show. Hopefully that wasn't even that funny. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but this one's not supposed to be funny. It's about grief,

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Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, And um, I think we should point

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Speaker 1: out from the get go that this is about grief,

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Speaker 1: human grief, Western human grief. Yeah, but that's not to

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Speaker 1: say that there aren't different types of grief and that

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Speaker 1: humans are the only ones who do grieve. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I have a story for you antal Action too, So

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Speaker 1: what you do? That was the funniest thing in this episode. Uh.

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Speaker 1: This story took place back in the spring of in

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Speaker 1: um Uttar Pradesh State, India, specifically in the town of

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Speaker 1: luck Now and even more specifically at the Prince of

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Speaker 1: wales Zoo. There was a seventy two year old elephant

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Speaker 1: email elephant named Dominie, and Dominie was hanging out in

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Speaker 1: her little house at the Prince of wale Zoo when

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden she got a younger pregnant friend

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Speaker 1: delivered to her um named chump Paccali. And Chumpaccali was,

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Speaker 1: as I said, pregnant. She was actually on maternity leave

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Speaker 1: from her regular gig where she would just let tourists

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Speaker 1: ride on her back. Okay, right, um, and so she was.

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Speaker 1: She was taking the Prince of Wales zoo to to

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Speaker 1: basically just have a nice, comfortable term and then give birth.

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Speaker 1: And Domini just fell in love with chompa collie. This

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Speaker 1: is so sad, so um. She basically became a maternal

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Speaker 1: figure chump Ofcali. They were best friends. Um. Chumpacali would

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Speaker 1: lay around and um Domini would stroke her pregnant belly

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Speaker 1: with her trunk. They just got really really tight, which

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Speaker 1: is very normal in in um the elephant world. Um.

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Speaker 1: So you can almost imagine that Domini was growing excited

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Speaker 1: as Champacali got closer and closer to her due date

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Speaker 1: and when finally she did um go into labor. Champacali

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Speaker 1: died during childbirth and gave birth to a stillborn calf,

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Speaker 1: and Dominie, I guess they let her come in and like,

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Speaker 1: you know, hang around the body because elephants are known

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Speaker 1: to grieve well, even as far as elephants go, Domini's

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Speaker 1: stories a little. That's pretty bad. She um. She cried

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Speaker 1: over the body for a while and then went over

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Speaker 1: to her enclosure and just stood still for a week.

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Speaker 1: Right after the week um. She during this week, she

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Speaker 1: she stopped eating um. She got to the point where

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Speaker 1: her legs swelled from basically starvation and dehydration until she

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Speaker 1: fell over. And then she just laid there for what

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Speaker 1: turned out to be the rest of her life, where

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Speaker 1: she wept and refused to eat and refused to drink

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Speaker 1: and grieved over the death of her friend, and finally

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Speaker 1: died herself a few days later. Uh and the vets

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Speaker 1: tried to keep her alive. They um, they did what

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Speaker 1: they could, but they said in the end um, in

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Speaker 1: the face of Domini's intense grief, all our treatment failed. No,

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Speaker 1: they're buried next to one another. I had a dog

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Speaker 1: situation like that similar when I was a kid. One

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Speaker 1: of my dogs died and they were best buds, and

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Speaker 1: the other one just like it was never the same

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Speaker 1: and died about three months later and seemed healthy at

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Speaker 1: the time. And I went out and laid down the

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Speaker 1: doghouse and cried when I was like seven, devastating. That's

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Speaker 1: a wonderful thing to do. That's working out your grief,

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Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, But as far as the animals go,

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Speaker 1: it really is pretty evenly divided among scientists who say, yes,

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Speaker 1: they show all the signs of grieving and that's what

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Speaker 1: they're doing. And then others that say, no, they are

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Speaker 1: not grieving. We're putting that on them as humans. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's I totally disagree with that. Yeah, it's just you know,

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Speaker 1: it's really too camps um. So we've talked about this before. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we've run up against this before, and I don't think

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Speaker 1: either one of us have changed our positions at all.

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Speaker 1: I think they grieve. But then you hear like this

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Speaker 1: one great ape you know, was famous recently for carrying

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Speaker 1: her little dead uh baby around for like three days,

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Speaker 1: and other scientists came out and said, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: this is a long gestation period they have Singleton's having

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Speaker 1: a kid is a big deal, and so she's carrying

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Speaker 1: this baby around and hopes that it will come back

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Speaker 1: to life and it's like in a comatose state, and

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Speaker 1: you know, it's a practical, adaptive, evolutionary thing that's happening.

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Speaker 1: It's not grief. And then I think you're heartless, Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're grieving because they they took the baby chimp and

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Speaker 1: made a purse out of it. After that, Well, but

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Speaker 1: then for animals, I don't want to get two sidetrack.

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Speaker 1: But you have to think, like when some clearly showed

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Speaker 1: signs of what looks like grief and some don't at all,

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Speaker 1: Like the chimpanzee and the same you know arena like

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Speaker 1: they eat other chimpanzees while they're still alive and screaming. Well,

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Speaker 1: those are the ones that back talk, or they go

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Speaker 1: off to die by themselves and there's no grieving, or

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Speaker 1: they will make like if one of them is dying,

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Speaker 1: that will like kill them. Right, But imagine, imagine you're

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Speaker 1: an outside observer of the human species. We we lose

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Speaker 1: chemical weapons on one another, and yet we still have

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Speaker 1: funeral practices. I mean, it's it's interesting. I wonder why

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Speaker 1: certain animals do and certain don't, though you know, it's

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Speaker 1: very interesting. Well, getting back to um humans the human

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Speaker 1: realm of grief, there was a man who recently um

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Speaker 1: was married to his wife for sixty two years and

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Speaker 1: she died and on the way to her funeral, he

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Speaker 1: died in the back of the limousine and um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: which I thought was incredibly sweet. And then his his

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Speaker 1: daughters they died at the funeral. Then know they they

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Speaker 1: put a sign up. They decided to just have a

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Speaker 1: double funeral, and they put a sign up at the

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Speaker 1: wake that said surprised it's a double header and then

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Speaker 1: buried him next to her like that that day. Well,

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Speaker 1: I guess the fai. But the point is is, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that is that that's a that's they used a sense

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Speaker 1: of humor to grief, or else they weren't going through grief.

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Speaker 1: And the point of that whole thing is is that

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Speaker 1: there's no set way that grief works, which is great

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Speaker 1: because we can say just about anything here and still

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Speaker 1: being the right because psychology is still grappling to define

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Speaker 1: the process of grief, and some very recent studies that

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Speaker 1: you found show that grief is not present and everyone,

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Speaker 1: and that everyone deals with it very differently, and there's

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Speaker 1: not really any specific way to handle it. There's just

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Speaker 1: some great general guidelines and that we should say grief

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Speaker 1: is a very personal thing. Yeah, and I might self

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Speaker 1: have experienced the spectrum of grief in my life, like

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Speaker 1: including you know, like family members passing away. Not to

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Speaker 1: be too cold, but some are you know, you super

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Speaker 1: grief for and some it's like, well, you know, they

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Speaker 1: were very old and they had a great life and

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Speaker 1: we saw this coming. And that's one of the things

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Speaker 1: that you know. It's one of the types of grief.

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Speaker 1: Anticipatory grief, they say, is probably easier because you're working

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Speaker 1: that stuff out over time and it's nothing like an

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Speaker 1: accident or a child dying. Unanticipated grief well, completely different. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is. So you say you mentioned anticipatory grief. That's

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Speaker 1: like if somebody's got a prolonged illness or something like that,

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Speaker 1: you have the chance to say goodbye ahead of time,

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Speaker 1: maybe deal with these emotions exactly, and then once death

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Speaker 1: actually comes, you've been prepared for this for days, weeks, months, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of times something maybe there isn't any

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Speaker 1: quote unquote traditional grief going on at all because you're

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Speaker 1: just so prepared and it's just a matter of executing

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Speaker 1: all the things that you need to do. If you're

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Speaker 1: the person that's in charge of that kind of like

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Speaker 1: you're so prepared you blow off the funeral to go

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Speaker 1: the grocery store. Um. It's like a serial. Psychologists call

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Speaker 1: that kind of grief anticipatory grief basically the money grief,

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Speaker 1: because it's it's about is um as light as you

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Speaker 1: can get post grief post death, I should say, right, yes, um,

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Speaker 1: And then Again, I want to say, like there's there's

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Speaker 1: probably a listener out there who like helped their their

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Speaker 1: husband or their mother through a long bout of cancer

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Speaker 1: that the person finally succumbed to. That's like, that's absolutely untrue.

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Speaker 1: I agree with you wholeheartedly. Like there again, there's no

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Speaker 1: specific um, Like, no one could tell you what your

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Speaker 1: grief was. Again, it's personal. This is just these are

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Speaker 1: very broad strokes. So okay, then, like you mentioned unanticipated grief, right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I meant that's from my experien arian's I had a

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Speaker 1: friend that fell off a building and died. That's like

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Speaker 1: definitely the hardest someone young an accident and uh but still,

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Speaker 1: if you want to talk about five stages, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a big believer that that's the case because

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Speaker 1: I didn't experience all the stages at all. Um. But

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Speaker 1: again it varies. Someone might experience tense stages. It does.

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Speaker 1: But but the point is with unanticipated grief, like you

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Speaker 1: couldn't have you or your friend didn't wake up that

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Speaker 1: morning like he was gonna die, you know, but he

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Speaker 1: still died and you have to deal with it all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden um. And then there's ambiguous grief, which

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Speaker 1: for my money, is probably the worst kind of grief.

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Speaker 1: This is the kind of grief that comes where, say,

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Speaker 1: if you have a loved one who is kidnapped and

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Speaker 1: you never hear from them again, or ever felt that

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Speaker 1: one your parents abandoned you as a child, um, or

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Speaker 1: just something happens is somebody and there's no real resolution

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Speaker 1: or closure or you know, it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 1: even death. It can be like your girlfriend you come

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Speaker 1: home to a note on your bed, you never hear

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Speaker 1: from her again, or a wife. I guess, yeah, because

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Speaker 1: I guess we should also say, like, grief doesn't just

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Speaker 1: have to come from death. Grief is basically the deep

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Speaker 1: and poignant distress caused by bereavement, and bereavement is the

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Speaker 1: state of being deprived of something or someone, so that

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Speaker 1: could be through death whatever. Yeah exactly. Um, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: so those are the three types of normal grief just

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Speaker 1: off the top of our heads. We made those up right, um.

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Speaker 1: And you mentioned the different kinds of um they're the

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Speaker 1: different stages of grief and you, I mean, that's just

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Speaker 1: such like a pop trope these days, but it was

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Speaker 1: actually new just as recently as the nineteen sixty nine

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Speaker 1: when Dr Elizabeth Coogler Ross came up with the five

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Speaker 1: stages of grief that you always hear about today, that

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Speaker 1: any ten year old could probably recite to you. But

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Speaker 1: I have since been kind of deconstructed and change in

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Speaker 1: question and challenge. But these are the kind of the

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Speaker 1: road map to go through grief, right, Um, denial, anger, bargaining, depression,

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Speaker 1: and acceptance, and denial is just basically saying this is

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Speaker 1: you're you're not true that there's still alive. Like what

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Speaker 1: you say is a lie and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be anywhere near you because you're lying to me right

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Speaker 1: now about something very horrible. Yeah, I've never experienced that,

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Speaker 1: even with my friend who fell off a building. Like

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Speaker 1: that's as sudden a news as you can get over

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Speaker 1: the phone. And I'm just not the kind of person

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Speaker 1: who's like, no, that didn't happen. I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: it immediately hit me that that had happened, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I started from there, I guess. But I didn't

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Speaker 1: experience anger either. But you know, if it might have

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Speaker 1: been my brother, I might have experienced anger. And you

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Speaker 1: you raise a very good point. There's different, there's different, Um,

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Speaker 1: I guess risk factors. There's different elements to grief, and

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Speaker 1: some of it is personal. Some of it has to

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Speaker 1: do with how close you are to the person, sure, Um,

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Speaker 1: some of it has to do the type of person

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Speaker 1: you are. You're a pretty resilient person. If you were

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Speaker 1: a very sensitive, bookish type, you might have taken it

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Speaker 1: a little harder, you know what I mean. Um, you

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Speaker 1: have a very very very strong, tight support group, you do, so, Um,

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Speaker 1: I would say that that that probably helped quite a bit.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you had a group of friends that like

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Speaker 1: helped you through that, that were probably friends with the

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Speaker 1: kid too, so you went through it as a group. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: going through something alone is always hard. Even if you

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Speaker 1: think you're a loner and don't want to be around anyone,

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Speaker 1: you're probably not doing yourself any favor, right. Uh. And

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Speaker 1: then lastly, you had prior experience with grief. You're throwing

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Speaker 1: yourself down in the doghouse when you were seven, so

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Speaker 1: you had that experience to draw upon and to know

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Speaker 1: you can make it through it. It does get better,

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Speaker 1: it does go away. So you're gonna have the hardest

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Speaker 1: normal kind of grief if you are, like you said,

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Speaker 1: a loner with no support group. If this is the

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Speaker 1: first time you've ever experienced grief, if you're the sensitive,

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Speaker 1: bookish type, and um, if you were extraordinarily close to somebody, right, Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I used to do acting exercises in college.

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Speaker 1: What it took, this acting class, and believe it or not,

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Speaker 1: I took one acting class and I was not very

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Speaker 1: good at it, and that he used to tell us

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Speaker 1: to try and do like crying exercises and stuff. So

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Speaker 1: what do you think of my brother? Was always to

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Speaker 1: go to like imagine my brother had gotten killed or something.

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Speaker 1: I would just like boom, yeah cry if I thought

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Speaker 1: of your brother dying. I know, I'm just kidding about

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Speaker 1: the other family members. Alright, So anger that's the second one. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it is pretty self explainatory. Um. Bargaining. It fascinates me,

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Speaker 1: like the idea that that you I feel like you're

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Speaker 1: suddenly in a position to make a deal with God

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Speaker 1: to reverse the circumstances or bring the person back or

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Speaker 1: take away the pain. Yeah, it's just so crazy, and

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Speaker 1: it's it's you know, like you think of somebody bargaining

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Speaker 1: with God or some higher power and they're like looking

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Speaker 1: up talking to the ceiling or the sky and that

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Speaker 1: that is one of the normal stages of grief. That's

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Speaker 1: I just find that fast. I did that when I

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Speaker 1: was young with girls. Oh yeah, well I was heavy

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Speaker 1: into church, very emotional kid, and girls like you know.

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Speaker 1: That was one of those deals, like God, just please,

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Speaker 1: if you would just come back to me a promise,

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Speaker 1: I'll like do this and I'll do that, but I'll

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Speaker 1: clean behind my ears. I grew out of that pretty

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Speaker 1: quick because I realized different that girls either coming back

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Speaker 1: or she was hitting the road exactly, and God probably

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Speaker 1: had little if anything to do with that. That's right,

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Speaker 1: he was dealing with bigger problems. Um. After that's depression.

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Speaker 1: And this one is kind of tricky. Um, if you

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Speaker 1: if you go through the stage of depression, if you do,

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Speaker 1: it's not necessarily requisite. Um, they're starting to wonder if

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Speaker 1: possibly you're already depressed, and uh, if you were already depressed,

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Speaker 1: that probably means you're going to maybe get stuck in

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Speaker 1: the stage for a while, or you might go through

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Speaker 1: a depressed stage and then come out of it. It's

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Speaker 1: not necessarily But the problem with the stage is that

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Speaker 1: depression is a recognized mental disorder and grief is not

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Speaker 1: considered a mental disorder, and yet in one of these

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Speaker 1: five widely accepted stages, you go through a period where

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Speaker 1: you're you're you have a mental disorder, but it's part

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Speaker 1: of a normal process. And you know, that's basically like

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Speaker 1: taking psychologists and throwing them into the thunder dome, you know,

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Speaker 1: greasing them up with chicken fat and handing them battle

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Speaker 1: axes and saying, like, explain that. You know, that's the

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Speaker 1: funniest thing said. Uh. The last one is acceptance, of course, um,

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Speaker 1: when you are finally able to move on and UM.

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Speaker 1: I found that one fairly interesting article where they they

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Speaker 1: charted this and they said it would look like a W.

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Speaker 1: Is that right, like the high points and the low points. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: which I guess um denials the high point, and then

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Speaker 1: it goes down to um anger. Yeah, up to bargaining.

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Speaker 1: I guess if you feel like that's getting you somewhere,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's an up. Maybe maybe UM, at the very

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Speaker 1: least it's manic. I would think, back down to depression,

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Speaker 1: and then finishing the W with a nice bit of acceptance. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And they've as you said that, we've sort of been

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Speaker 1: studying this for like thirty or forty years, and there

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Speaker 1: was always that five stages thing, but recently they're looking

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Speaker 1: more into it, and they've done some studies with widowers

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Speaker 1: and widows, and they found that they really oscillate wildly

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Speaker 1: from day to day and it's not necessarily going to

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Speaker 1: be a w it's I felt great today and really

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Speaker 1: my spirits were up and I was even laughing. Then

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Speaker 1: the next day they were really sad. And it just

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Speaker 1: really is all over the map, right, But I think overall,

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Speaker 1: what they're finding is that on a long enough arc,

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Speaker 1: people emerge from it, and it seems to be somewhere

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Speaker 1: in the order of six months to three years seems

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Speaker 1: to be, and I think that's the outliers are maybe

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Speaker 1: six months to three years. That's such a ridiculous time frame,

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Speaker 1: but the bolt. But I mean, like if you study

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Speaker 1: enough people, you can probably create like like three months

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Speaker 1: to five years, right, you know, no totally and then

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Speaker 1: say anyone else as an outlier. Right, But that's the thing,

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Speaker 1: like you can't. That's why everybody is very wisely, um

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Speaker 1: they avoid saying things like that, like this is this

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Speaker 1: is like it's almost respect for the process, Like no

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Speaker 1: one wants to come out and say no, this is

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Speaker 1: how it is. Yeah, because you can't, and that's a

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Speaker 1: mean thing to do. And actually there's there's um the

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Speaker 1: grief is is in danger of being medicalized in the

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Speaker 1: DSM five one of the proposals, there's a there's always

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Speaker 1: been an exemption to bereavement with depression like a depression

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Speaker 1: um diagnosis if the person has recently gone through the

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Speaker 1: press of grief or is in the pressive degree. Um,

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Speaker 1: you can't diagnose them with depression. You can, but you're

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Speaker 1: not gonna get reimbursed for any meds you prescribed them. Well,

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Speaker 1: under the d s M five they're taking away this

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Speaker 1: bereavement exclusion so that doctors can get reimbursed. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: it medicalizes grief, it says, no, now it's a mental disorder,

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00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 1: well when it's not supposed to be, and it's a

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Speaker 1: slip slope. Yeah, you know, a temporary disorder though you

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Speaker 1: would hope. So all right, very keen insight, nice work,

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Speaker 1: Thank you psychology today. Is that where you got it? Yeah? Okay, Um,

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00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 1: so should we talk a little bit about dealing with it?

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00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,760
Speaker 1: I guess yes, Um, you know these are it's it's

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00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 1: good advice, but it's also any time I read something

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Speaker 1: where they're like, take care of yourself and eat right

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Speaker 1: next or so avoid drugs and alcohol. Yeah, but it

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00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 1: is very much true. You know that it only is

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Speaker 1: going to make things worse if you wallow in this

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Speaker 1: and abuse yourself with drugs and alcohol in don't eat

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Speaker 1: and you don't think there's a there's not a therapy

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00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,000
Speaker 1: to pouring like half of a forty out on the

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Speaker 1: curb for someone who's gone and then drinking the other half. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean sure, but don't do that every day for

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Speaker 1: like weeks and weeks starting in nine and you yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I think me and my friends got together

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Speaker 1: and got really good and plowed after we got the

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00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 1: news about my buddy. But but alcohol, my advice is

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Speaker 1: to avoid it after Yes, but okay, so in addition

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Speaker 1: to avoiding folks and alcohol, eating right and getting regular exercise,

359
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 1: just the standard stuff. What was that? Also in jet lag?

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Speaker 1: Every time it's anything, um the the there are like

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Speaker 1: some really good suggestions to dealing with grief. If you

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Speaker 1: find yourself overwhelmed by a profound sense of sadness, there

363
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,919
Speaker 1: are things out there that you can do to make

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Speaker 1: yourself feel better. You can um write a letter to

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00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 1: the deceased that's said to help. Um, okay, yet why

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Speaker 1: not uh throwing yourself into stay, making a memorial like

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00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: those roadside memorials, or a video clip show who knows you? Actually?

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Speaker 1: You know what, when my friend added did a video

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Speaker 1: see because his family put together a website like a

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Speaker 1: memorial website, and on the I had video footage back

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Speaker 1: then of m and I did a little video for

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Speaker 1: the family. But it ended up really being like a

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00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 1: great thing for me. It made you feel better, absolutely. Yeah.

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00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: So basically putting yourself into a project there where you're

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Speaker 1: thinking about this person, I imagine this isn't an article,

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00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 1: this is just me doing some armchurir psychology. But um,

377
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 1: I imagine it forces you to remember good things about

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Speaker 1: the person. And so during this time when you're possibly

379
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: a little more emotionally fragile than usual, you are being

380
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: reminded of positive memories, positive things as well. You know,

381
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 1: so you're maybe that's why that would help, but it

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00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 1: definitely doesn't help, you know for sure, because when you're

383
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: going through and do in like a scrapbook, it's these

384
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 1: great memories in these pictures and it's not you know,

385
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 1: you are remembering the good stuff and that like the life,

386
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 1: which is I think how everyone wants to be remembered.

387
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: You know, it's like these great lives we have exactly

388
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 1: you know, you want to be remembered as alive. Yeah,

389
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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm one of those people that always wants

390
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: my funeral to be you know, a little bit more

391
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 1: of an upbeat affair, as much as it can be.

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Speaker 1: You know, where some people like, no, man, I want

393
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: people really sad, right, yeah, I want to be mourned

394
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: for days. It's not me. So you want the upbeat affair? Yeah, okay,

395
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 1: I have have a party and you know, make fun

396
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 1: of me, but not like G. G Allen's funeral. I

397
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 1: have to research that one. I can only imagine what

398
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: it was like. Yeah, pretty hardcore pretty much. Okay, yeah.

399
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: Did they inject his corpse with heroin or he's bury

400
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: naked though and they it was Yeah, you can do

401
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 1: some research if you feel like, Okay, man, he died

402
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 1: like in a horrible way. Didn't they find him, like

403
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,680
Speaker 1: murder in an alley, naked and like never found the murderer.

404
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: Now I think he killed himself. I thought he was murdered.

405
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 1: I thought he was like stabbed a death. I don't

406
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 1: think so. He used to use to threaten to kill

407
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 1: himself on stage. That was a big thing, was that

408
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 1: he's like, one day it's gonna happen. I thought his

409
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: big thing was like pooping on stage. He did that

410
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: a lot too. He kept that promise um Man was

411
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: going to show up in the grief episode. Another thing

412
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: you can do to UM, I guess kind of helped

413
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 1: through the grief process is to throw yourself into a

414
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 1: project that you think the deceased might appreciate. Yeah, or

415
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 1: some organization they might have been affiliated with, Right, That's

416
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: what I meant. Yeah, Yeah, like if you lose someone

417
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: to cancer, or maybe get involved with the Common Foundation

418
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: or one of the other groups or apparently Mad Mothers

419
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: Against Drunk Driving was founded in memory of a deceased

420
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 1: person absolutely killed by a drunk driver. One would imagine, UM,

421
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: there's just a lot of stuff out there that you

422
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 1: can do yourself. A lot of people pretty much immediately

423
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: go to therapy, at least initially to get a little help,

424
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,919
Speaker 1: to get some insights and advice whatever. Um that's not

425
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: necessarily the case for everybody, and they've definitely found that

426
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: therapy is not even necessarily helpful for everybody. There's a

427
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: lot of people out there who probably wonder if they're

428
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: dead inside because they don't grieve like supposedly everyone else does.

429
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: But study after study is finding that actually, people who

430
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: go through significant grief um is a fairly small portion

431
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,479
Speaker 1: of people who experience a loss. Yeah, didn't we have

432
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 1: a study in here? Yeah? Right here? Um. They what

433
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: they do generally is they track groups of widows and

434
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 1: widowers for a period of time and just have them,

435
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 1: you know, remark about how they're feeling on a day

436
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: to day basis. And uh, this one was for up

437
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:01,719
Speaker 1: to five years, I think, and between twenty had no

438
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: significant symptoms in the initial years after the loss, and

439
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: only nine to forty one percent did. And there's a

440
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,919
Speaker 1: big variability there, but they said it's partially from how

441
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: the symptoms were measured. And in another study they found

442
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: that about experience what you could diagnosis depression after the loss,

443
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: and only about eleven um had trouble with it, like

444
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: couldn't shake it after six to eight months, I believe, right,

445
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 1: And ten percent of people who lost a spouse felt relief.

446
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: These were people that had reported being unhappy in their marriage,

447
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: So there's that those are the ones that danced on

448
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 1: their spouses gave. I guess so, And I don't necessarily

449
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 1: think it's that cold, but there there could be some

450
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: mild relief if you weren't genuinely weren't happy in your marriage.

451
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean you're dancing on graves and partying,

452
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: but it might just be like, all right, well, now

453
00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 1: I can go move to us like that always wanted

454
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: to and hang out with Sammy Hagar. Yeah, and now

455
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: I can do that, right, And my wife also hated

456
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: Sammy Hagar, but I'm gonna go hang out with him. Yeah.

457
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 1: They also think that men may grieve heavier, even though

458
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 1: it's at long believe that women do. Um. But I

459
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: think a study like that is sort of silly. It's

460
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: so variable, like from person to person. I don't know, right,

461
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: But we say all this to point out that if

462
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 1: you don't experience what other people would recognize as grief,

463
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: there's something wrong with you anymore than there is if

464
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: you experience grief. Exactly. What psychiatry and psychology have started

465
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 1: to pay a little more attention to is what's been

466
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 1: termed complicated grief, And then is technically, if you go,

467
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 1: say several months to where your life is really really interrupted.

468
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: You can't sleep, you can't eat, You're having trouble focusing

469
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: on anything but the death of this person, the loss

470
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 1: of them, that you start to seriously doubt things very

471
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: important in your life, maybe like religion, even have lost

472
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 1: a child, like there can't be a god, that kind

473
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: of stuff, right, Or conversely, if you can't even mention

474
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,719
Speaker 1: the person's name or hear the person's name. Basically, if

475
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 1: your life is disrupted for many months, then basically everybody

476
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: from the Mayo Clinic to the a p A. Says

477
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 1: maybe you should go see somebody about this, Yeah, because

478
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: it can also manifest itself and aggression and um violence,

479
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 1: self destructive um physical self destruction. So it can complicated,

480
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 1: as is an understatement here for this kind of grief,

481
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 1: I think, right, Um, so there's different kinds. If you

482
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 1: go see a counselor with what's considered normal grief, they're

483
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 1: probably going to help you let go of the person

484
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 1: while still honoring their memory and recognizing them and yeah,

485
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 1: and the impact that they had on your life. But

486
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: to get out there and live your in life, they're

487
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 1: gonna try to reach the same goal if you have

488
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: complicated grief, but they're going to do it a different way,

489
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 1: and they're probably going to encourage you to really form

490
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: an even greater bond with the person now that they're deceased,

491
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: that you can nurture and hold onto and carry around

492
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 1: with you. That makes sense to me. Yeah, and this

493
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: kind in this case, it's not like you can't tell

494
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 1: a parent who has lost a child, like and you

495
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 1: know you need to work through this and get over it, right.

496
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: And that's actually one of the risk factors for complicated grief.

497
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: Grief is the death of a child, the death of

498
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: somebody that you are possibly co dependent on very very

499
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: close to, or um the death of a sudden death,

500
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: usually from trauma, say like a murder or something like that. Um,

501
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: those are risk factors for complicated grief. So I would

502
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: imagine that if you if you had a loved one

503
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: who is murdered, you probably are already getting some sort

504
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 1: of professional attention, and if you're not, maybe you should. Well. Yeah,

505
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: And that's what we're basically talking about, was the difference

506
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: between grief and trauma, and when you've experienced it to

507
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 1: that degree, trauma is a whole different deal. They'd say,

508
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: it feels unreal and it's can be terrifying. The terror

509
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: is the most common emotion. Um. It's common if you

510
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 1: have dreams about a deceased loved one, But if you're

511
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 1: having traumatizing dreams about yourself being endangered, then you've you've

512
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: crossed the line from grief into trauma and complicated grief

513
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 1: heavy stuff. It is very heavy. Losing a pet is

514
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: for some people a very very very big deal um,

515
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 1: and other people, well, people that aren't into pets at

516
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: all don't get it. And then some people that do

517
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 1: have pets are just more equipped to deal with the

518
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: loss of a pet and not like it's the loss

519
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: of a human. But for people like me and Jerry

520
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: over there, I know that losing a pet, you know,

521
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: is like equivalent to losing, you know, a family member,

522
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: and the grieving process is about the same. I would

523
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: imagine if it's you know, that impactful. And my advice

524
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: is you should talk to other people who have similar feelings,

525
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: because one of the things that can be toughest about

526
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: losing a bet is when you talk to people who

527
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 1: don't have pets. And I don't think it's that big

528
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: of a deal to lose a bet, and that that

529
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: can make things a lot worse. Well, they say that

530
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: if you, um, if you do experience the loss of

531
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: a pet and you find that you're grieving over it,

532
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: you should go ahead with the grief. Don't feel embarrassed

533
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: or dumb for that. Go light down to the doghouse

534
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: and cry like a six year old. Uh, you got

535
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: anything else? I ran across one thing. Um. There's a

536
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: guy in three named Paul Rosenblatt who UM carried out

537
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 1: a study of I think like fifty six Victorian diaries

538
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 1: of people who would experienced loss. Interesting and UM, so

539
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: grief is definitely cultural and also historically bound to like

540
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: UM they found. He found that the goal for these

541
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: diarists was to keep the person alive around them, like

542
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: all the time, like they would try to sense the

543
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: person around them, or like maybe sitting their favorite chair

544
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: because they could tell that they were still there in

545
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: somewhere or whatever. And that under those circumstances, he found

546
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: that grief never really seemed to ever go away, that

547
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: it was something that they carried around for the rest

548
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: of their lives. And in fact, UM one of the

549
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: things that the victorians did was they would wear black

550
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 1: for a year, I believe, and then dark colors after that,

551
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: especially if you were a widow and on the anniversary

552
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 1: you wear black too, right, I think so. And you

553
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: were expected to carry around this grief for the rest

554
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 1: of your life. UM. And one of the things they

555
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: also did that actually still around today was bereavement photography,

556
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 1: which is post mortem photography. We've done the thing on that,

557
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: have we, UM, and it's we did, didn't we? And

558
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: we got an email just as recently is today from

559
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 1: a woman who lost a child UM and had a

560
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: cast made of the baby's hands and feet, and she

561
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: said that it was something that UM has very much

562
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: helped her through. Yeah. She said it was a gift

563
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: from the hospital UM to help them through their grief.

564
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: And the hospital said, you know, you might not want

565
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 1: it now, but we really encourage you to have this

566
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,479
Speaker 1: one and we'll pay for it, UM, because you know,

567
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 1: years from now you may really be happy that you have.

568
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: And she said, they're absolutely right. Wow, that's really great.

569
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: What was that email in reference to death as Okay, yeah,

570
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: but it just happened to come in to day when

571
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: we were researching grief. That's about it. I guess, huh,

572
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: that's it. That's a to Z grief. We touched on

573
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: every single thing possible. Yeah, I guess. If you want

574
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: to learn more about grief, you can type that word

575
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: into the search bar how stuff works dot com. Remember

576
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 1: I before E except after c um, Chuck. Hold on,

577
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: let's let's take a message break. Huh. It is time

578
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: for a listener man. So Josh, you can, by the way,

579
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: to jump back look into more grief on our website,

580
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: or you could go to Google and look at Pigmy

581
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: coats the helps too. That's what I would say, all right,

582
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: So now not listener mail, Josh. Today we have nice Chuck,

583
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: well done. All right, So we're gonna this is gonna

584
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 1: be an ongoing thing because as usual, they stack up.

585
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: Well man, we have very busy work schedule, and we

586
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: like to say thanks to as many people as possible.

587
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know. Administrative details is

588
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 1: a segment that replaces listener mail, in which we read

589
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: out thank you to fans who have sent us stuff, tokens, yeah, anything,

590
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: yep um. For example, postcard of Rapa Nui from Ryan Confort,

591
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: thank you for that. Nice. That's that's Eastern Island. Okay. Um,

592
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: Jake Aboard sentence Yellowstone Park shirts, postcards, info cards, hats.

593
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because he works there. Yeah, that was a

594
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: free sweet kif and he gets a discount. Hepsy hope

595
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: he is. Um. Thanks to Shanty Diva for the postcard

596
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:15,720
Speaker 1: of the monkey k nots. Casey Herring sent us cookies

597
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: and they were delicious. Which cookies the delicious one? Okay,

598
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: not this crappy ones. Um, we got a wedding invitation

599
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: from Rachel and John Reid. Congratulations, surprising one's astus to officiate.

600
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: I do that? Oh man, you just opened the um

601
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: hitch safe. Inventor Tim Freeman sent it's a hitch safe

602
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: and that is a little thing that you stick in

603
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,280
Speaker 1: your trailer hitch if you have a truck pickup truck

604
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: and it's got a little key in this hollowed out

605
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: and you can like put your wallet and stuff in

606
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: there if you go kayaking and lock it up. I

607
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 1: didn't see this well because you're wanted the pickup. Okay,

608
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: did you get a trailer hitch, buddy, you can will

609
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: split the hitch happier. Um, let's see, we got a

610
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 1: Christmas cards and postcards plural from Becca Evans at uc

611
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 1: s C. Alright, justin Norman, um citisen ergo desk and

612
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: iPad holder and I'm actually using the one for the

613
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: laptop on my desk. It's quite lovely and it's handmade

614
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,240
Speaker 1: wood and you can find that debt wood bold dot com. Yeah,

615
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: that's really a sight to behold. It's amazing. It looks

616
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: like plastic, right, but it's would Yeah. Yeah. Um we

617
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 1: got a Christmas postcard from Davini d who for some

618
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: reason was dressed as Wilfred from the TV show Wilfred.

619
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: So thank you Davini. Uh. Lorian Leonard sent us some

620
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 1: Yemmy chocolates from Thickets in Marshfield, Wisconsin. Yeah, it was lovely. Um.

621
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 1: We got a copy of the book Brushing the Teeth

622
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: of Elvis's Monkey and a nice letter from Nurse Beeth,

623
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: So thank you for that. Uh you know what, I'm

624
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and bust into my books here. Um.

625
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 1: We got how Colin Why How We Do Anything Means Everything?

626
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: By darv Siedman. We got Swing Colin That Searched My

627
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: father Louis Prima by Alan Gerstelluh Science Nearly Explained by

628
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: Dick Maxwell and that is on Amazon. And kindle the

629
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,399
Speaker 1: Vampire Combat Manual from our buddy roger Ma who sent

630
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: us the Zombie Combat Manual. And I imagine pretty soon

631
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 1: we're gonna have a Wearwolf Combat Manual, I would hope.

632
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 1: So it's Rogers Getting Lazy and Trunkless, which is a

633
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 1: children's book from Sean Antoniac and Matthew Antoniac. That was sweet.

634
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: It was like a graphic novel. Yeah, and they sent

635
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 1: us some cool stickers from uh eight one one graphics

636
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: dot com. So those are my books. Um, let's see

637
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: what else. We got another postcard from Rapa Nui from

638
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 1: Emily B that rhymes yeah. We got trifold wallets from

639
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 1: Trifold try hold from Trifold wallets thanice Man. Yeah, you

640
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: should get paid for this. Is a dude named Lars

641
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 1: c who kind of went all over the place and

642
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 1: he went to Las Cobos Las Cabos of course, Sammy

643
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 1: Harry Garth's place, Seattle, Philadelphia, Calgary, Montreal, Nova, Scotia, and

644
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: he kind of took us with him and sent us

645
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: postcards along the way. So thanks a lot, large, Aaron Cooper,

646
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: thank you for your cool phone Corps poster versions of

647
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,720
Speaker 1: some of your best stuff. You should know photoshop jobs. Yes,

648
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: you love these. That's not the first time they sent

649
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: those either, so thanks a lot erin it's a regular coop. Um,

650
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:34,800
Speaker 1: we got a nice postogram from Michael Storer. Caroline Larson

651
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: in this magnetic skulls. Yeah, those are awesome, like a

652
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: Day of the Dead skulls of her own art. I believe,

653
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 1: I think so. Um. I've got her down too, and

654
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: I have her website. It is um, I believe Caroline

655
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 1: Larson Art dot com. If I come across it, I'll

656
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 1: correct myself if that's wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's right. Okay,

657
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 1: I got one more for now, and then you pick

658
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: one more good one and then we'll pick this up again.

659
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: Jennifer Dunaway send us admitted tree scarf. And this is

660
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: just a scarf that you go and you pick a

661
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 1: tree and you put a little scarf on it. Okay,

662
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,959
Speaker 1: and it's pretty darn cute and that makes the city

663
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,280
Speaker 1: more beautiful. Nice, So thank you Jennifer Dunaway for that. Um.

664
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 1: And then I got a nice handmade birthday card for me,

665
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:24,439
Speaker 1: specifically nice from s y s k Army member Courtney Hoover.

666
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: So thanks a lot for that question. Uh, and that's

667
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: administrative details for this week part one. Uh, as far

668
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,919
Speaker 1: as this list goes, we've got this for the next

669
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: six months. And I am right it is Caroline Larson

670
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: art c A R O L I N E l

671
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: A R S E n RT dot com. Yeah, get

672
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 1: a tree scarf. Yeah, that's what I say. And a

673
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: school magnet. All right. Oh okay, let's see. If you

674
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 1: want to uh tweet to us, you can join us

675
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 1: on Twitter at s y s K podcast. You can

676
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,320
Speaker 1: join us on Facebook dot com, slash Stuff you Should Know,

677
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 1: You can send us an email to off podcast at

678
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 1: Discovery dot com, and you can send us a good

679
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 1: old fashioned website. Visit to Stuff you Should Know dot

680
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 1: com for more on this and thousands of other topics.

681
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 1: Is it how Stuff Works dot com m