WEBVTT - Real Scrub with Victoria Garrick Browne Part 2 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:04.840 Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:12.800 Hello everybody, we are scrubbing In. This is part two 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.520 with Victoria Garrick Brown. We had such a great time 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:20.000 chit chatting and we wanted to extend the podcast into 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:22.759 two episodes, so this is the second part. You just 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:25.800 celebrated one year of marriage. Yes, how long have you 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:26.400 all been together? 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:29.600 Total? Eight years? Okay, but one year of marriage? 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:30.680 How long have you lived together? 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:31.640 Ah? 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.879 We moved in together, like when after right after the 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:39.760 pandemic was like enough gone that people were like not 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:43.040 sheltering at their parents and stuff anymore. So we I 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:45.280 think we looked together for like, we moved in together 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:47.840 in twenty twenty one, So I think we've lived together 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:53.720 for like no, three years. Oh, actually, I'm bad at math. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:55.480 The twenty twenty one year doesn't count because that's when 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.160 we moved in, So to twenty two to twenty three? 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:59.440 Yeah, okay, I was like, wait, I have been counting 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:00.720 wrong one so bad. 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:02.320 I still like when I write, when I tip on 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:04.760 a check, I have a little addition column, It's like, 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:06.800 what's twenty five plus? Oh? 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:09.480 I just pull up my calculator. I don't even try 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:13.200 to do real bad. Okay, so you've lived together for 0:01:13.480 --> 0:01:17.800 two let's say two and a half. Yeah, the difference. Yeah, 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:21.880 where was there like significant differences that you noticed after 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:25.160 like during marriage year one? 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:30.160 Not really, Like there's not a huge difference, I think, 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.400 at least for us, because we had been living together, 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.280 we did not have finances merged. So when we got married, 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.840 we merged finances. So that's been a difference, but in 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:40.960 a really great way. We were actually reflecting on this 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.360 last night at dinner. Of course, I'm like so annoying. 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.440 I'm like, okay, so we're gonna do questions. What's been 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:48.560 the most surprising thing about marriage? My friends hate when 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:49.560 I do that, but this is. 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:52.000 Literally I basically feel like Tanya's here with me. 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:55.720 I cannot sit at a dinner table without like questions 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:57.320 queuing all of us. Like I just sit there and 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.000 I'm like, should we play a game? My friends are 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:00.960 all like, no, can we be in the moment? 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:04.960 Well, you're also Haley Hailey loves a game and a recap. 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:05.760 I do love that. 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:05.920 No. 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:07.840 I literally will be at dinner with like someone I 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:09.720 just met, like bringing out the box of we're not 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:12.560 really strangers and they're like, God, never gone. That's probably 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:16.679 why don't have a friends all night. I'm kidding. So, uh, 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.800 we were talking about this. I was hesitant to merge 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:22.560 because I love the idea of like being a successful 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:26.079 woman and making my own money and my mom. I 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:27.480 don't want to say my mom didn't have a career 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:29.240 because she's the world's best mom. So that was her 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.200 career and it's definitely a full time job. Yes, my 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:33.440 Yaya also stayed at home, so I'm kind of the 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:36.959 first generation. And then my yi as parents immigrated from Greece, 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.200 so I'm really the first, like and I don't have 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:41.800 a sister, the first girl in my family to like 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:43.920 have a career and make her own money and support herself. 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:48.120 Of course, I'm super blessed and I've had many opportunities 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.360 because of like what my family, the privilege I had 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:55.800 growing up. But I was hesitant because of that, Like 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:59.000 I didn't want people to think, Oh, your husband works 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.120 in la real estates, so that's why you're doing this, 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:03.560 or that's why you bought that. Like a little part 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.160 of me is like, no, I did it because I 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:09.480 worked hard. But I actually did this fun episode of 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:13.320 Real Pod where I interviewed like a very feminist thought 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:15.519 leader on the topic, so Tory Dunlap of her first 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:17.440 one hundred K, and I got her opinion of, like, 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.360 don't merge. It's a contract. You always want to protect 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.240 yourself in any contract. Why is this different? And then 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:29.840 I interviewed Max's brother because he is He's a complete opposite, 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:33.160 Like he's like merge team unity, like there should be 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:35.520 no separation, Like what's the point of getting married if 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.440 you're not completely unifying your lives? So, you know, I 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.360 took some time to think about it, and I did, 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:42.480 like it was like my journalism degree coming out on 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:44.680 that episode. I was like doing a very drive on 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.360 two interviews and then I compared and then I you know, 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:51.120 but I ended up merging. I realized I wanted to 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:57.080 do that, and I've really loved it because there's no scorekeeping, 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:00.560 and like when I succeed, he succeeds. When he succeeds, 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:05.200 I succeed, And I just really do feel like we 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:08.280 are on the same team, like I'm constantly in it 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:09.960 with someone. And so to your question of like what's 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:13.760 the difference, I think the difference is you invite all 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:16.000 the people you care about, to witness a moment that 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:17.880 you look the person you love in the eye and say, 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:20.200 I'm gonna be with you forever like sickness and in 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.760 health till death do us part, and like that's my promise, 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:24.960 and I'm not only promising it to you, but like 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:28.040 I at least value, I'm valuing my word in front 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.960 of these people. That's something to say for anyone who's 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:33.839 experienced divorce or it hasn't worked out. Like, of course 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:36.960 there's nuances and someone could be pretending to be someone 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:39.520 they're not like. But I think for us it was 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:43.560 like you, now you leave that day, and you do 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:47.120 feel like you have this invisible string attaching you and 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.320 this other person, Like I can't just cancel. I couldn't. 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:52.400 I couldn't just like quit all my jobs and say 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:54.479 I want to move abroad, Like I have to take 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:57.120 into account what he wants and what he needs. Fortunately, 0:04:57.120 --> 0:04:59.039 I'm married someone who's so similar to me, and we 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:01.840 usually always want this anything down to like dinner every night, 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:05.600 So that's why compatibility is important. But I'd say that's 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:08.680 the biggest thing is like I have another half, Like 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.880 that is no secret that everyone knows about and like 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:14.240 I say, no secret in the sense of like everyone 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:16.719 came to witness, Like I said, I would prioritize his needs. 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:20.520 So I yeah, I think that's been the biggest thing 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:24.080 for us. It's just that like invisible sense of were tethered. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.159 I love that. I do have a question though. 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:29.680 Yeah, you can ask me anything. Okay, nothing's offensive, like 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:31.440 just I think, yeah, no, I. 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:32.919 Don't think it's offensive. 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:38.279 If Max wasn't contributing as much financially, if you were 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:41.160 like making a significant amount more, he wasn't in a 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:44.440 job where he was making a lot of money or 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:47.960 like a comparable amount of money, do you think you 0:05:48.000 --> 0:05:48.760 would emerged. 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.920 So I say this because I think Max is fine 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:55.560 with it, because we've talked, he's talked, he talked about 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:58.440 this on our podcast. That is the case right now, Okay, 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.960 I like he does. He does great for himself. I'm 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.960 also in an incredibly lucrative business and fortunately having a 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.440 lot of success. There's there's a big gap and I'm 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:11.039 if we use the term breadwinner, that is me. But 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:15.000 I think if I think about role reversal, like if 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:18.240 Max had been you know, if Max, if the roles 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:22.640 were reversed. How would I feel if my husband was like, well, 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:24.640 you're not worthy of being treated as an equal with 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:26.880 me because you're not getting paid the same as me. 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:29.279 Like even though I know he works really hard and 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:31.040 he goes to his job and he has this amazing 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:32.680 career path that I know it's going to become very 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:35.600 fruitful for him, and then maybe I get canceled, maybe 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:37.240 my brands don't want to work with me again, and 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.960 then the pendulum swings. So that's the part of like 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:44.080 having you have to be really selfless and like any 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:47.760 little bit of like like when he buys me something expensive, 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.880 I could for sure think like, well you probably like 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:52.000 would you have been able to buy me that if 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.039 we didn't merge, Like it's my money. But I don't 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:56.920 view it as like that. I you really try to 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.320 rid yourself with the ego and the comparison and just 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:02.360 and then when the time in our life comes where 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:05.679 it will where he's killing it and I'm struggling, that's 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.159 where we're still killing it because we're in it together. 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:10.560 So that and that was a big part of the hesitation, 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.280 Like I don't have him written on my company, like 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:17.040 because that is where I'm like, like when I I'm like, 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:18.760 you can see my bank accounts, I can see his 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:21.120 bank accounts, and we move them into our family checking account. 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.600 Do I want to change the legal paperwork that says 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:27.240 his name is on my company that I run my 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.520 business through. No, because he's not a part of my business, 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:31.800 and I have pride in that. But the money that 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:33.560 I make for my business is our money, and the 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:35.320 money that he makes from his business is our money. 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.600 I mean, I think that's I think that's incredibly beautiful. 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:42.920 I think when you, I think, like choosing to move 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.320 in the direction where you make that commitment to each other, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:47.480 I think I think that makes a lot of sense 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:50.840 of like, I think, especially when you're on the same page. 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:52.960 I'm curious, sir, do you have an opinion on this? 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:56.200 Easton's the only other, like he's married, so I. 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.360 Think it's important to keep certain things separate, just for like, 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.320 like my way, I've just bought this like vacation house, 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.840 and she it's in her name completely, Like it's like 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.280 sole and separate. We keep making jokes about it, like 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.040 every time I fix a leak, it's like, hey, you 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:11.440 know this is I have a vested interest in this 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:14.920 house now. But I have no doubt that we're going 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:16.520 to be with each other forever, but just you know, 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:19.119 just in case, you know, who knows what could happen. 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:21.840 I think it's I think it's for and I love 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.280 that Easton, and I think it's whatever works for every 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:27.240 couple and I But I will say the most important 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:31.200 thing is that each person in the relationship maintains the 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:34.040 ability to make money. I think where you really create 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:37.920 risk is if one person is not making money, especially 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:40.200 it's usually the woman, and then if something does hit 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:42.319 the fan, she has no opportunity. She can't seak of 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:43.679 better her life, she can't take care of herself, she 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:47.360 can't move out. So I think both people being able 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:49.679 to make money and have something to fall back on 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:53.240 is super important. God forbid anything happened with Max tonight, 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:55.679 I could change things and like, I would still get 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:56.959 all my checks that are supposed to come in and 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:58.480 they would come to me, and he would, you know, 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.959 I think I don't think I would ever want to 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:04.920 be in a situation where I had nothing coming in 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:09.480 and was relying on his money personally, because I've seen 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:11.760 it go really ugly for couples. But I love that 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:15.160 you asked easton his opinion, because I do think like there, 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:17.480 I have no judgment. I'm sharing. Oh yeah, no, how 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:19.320 I do it? I think each person has to figure 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:20.920 it out. But one thing I will say is when 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:22.960 we went to when we went to our bank and 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:27.400 met about all this stuff, the banker was like, ninety 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.880 percent of the couples that we see, one or both 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.400 of them have secret accounts the other doesn't know about, 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:36.240 which was wild because he said something because it was 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.800 something like if I asked a question about like my 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:41.360 banking and the guy made a fac or an expression 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:43.160 of like, well, this is a conversation we should have 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:44.480 when your husband's not in the room, and I'm thinking, 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:47.640 I don't care. But then I was like, why do 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:49.360 you Why is that supposed to be confidential? And then 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:51.839 we became you know, we're getting like little we're shooting 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:54.240 with this banker a little bit and you know this 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:56.240 is in like LA and he's like, well, he's like, 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:58.240 you know, ninety percent of the couples we see, like 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:00.520 someone always comes in alone to open up their secret, 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.600 secret stash or something, which I just think is interesting, 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:08.840 Like the level of that's really interesting, Like not like distrust, 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.800 but I think it's important. Like you're being a realist, right, Like, yeah, 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:15.840 anything can happen to anyone, and and that's that's part 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:18.600 of you know. I also think like when we say 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:20.520 like in sickness and in health, like I've seen a 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:24.559 variety of different relationships in my life, and people change. People 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:27.600 are different from we're married at twenty five, people are 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:30.720 different at forty five. You know when you lose family 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:33.560 and when you get fired and when like if I 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:35.960 did if something terrible happened in my career and I 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.600 didn't have the you know, cup filling energy I do 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:42.680 now from social like who would I be? I don't know. So, yes, 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:46.679 like you, you have to be realistic. But I think 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:50.920 this is what allows us to feel the most synergy 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:53.240 in our relationship, and I've been really happy with it. 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.040 I love that. I agree though. 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:57.840 I think it's like both people being able to come 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:01.439 to an agreement on what whatever the choices that you make. 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:03.880 But I also think because I was just having this conversation, 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:05.760 this is why I asked you about this, Because I 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:09.160 was just having this conversation a friend. Her friend is 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:13.240 in this situation with her. He's her fiance. They're not married, 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:16.120 but she doesn't. She stays home with the kids and 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:19.840 doesn't have and she isn't not in a good situation 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.800 and would like to get out, but she's staying because financially, 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:25.680 I mean, she doesn't have anything. And so it brought 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.800 up the conversation of like being able to have your 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.360 own you know, financial independence. 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:32.760 Yes, and then where does she even have the time 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.199 to support herself when she's raising his kids too, That's 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:38.600 what I'm saying. I've seen these interesting in social media 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:42.000 things about like being paid by your spouse, like if 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.080 you were staying home to take care of the kids, 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:48.400 like getting some sort of monthly stipend, like recognizing like 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.679 like I've just seen it. I'm bringing it up as 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.760 a talking point, but like, what do you guys think 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:52.960 of that? 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:54.840 There's people a contract. 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:55.840 Like you signed something where you're like, hey, I'm going 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:57.920 to be raising our kids at home and you're. 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.880 Not even signing it. But let's say that, like let's 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:02.920 say someone let's say someone was going to make seventy 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:05.160 five thousand dollars in their job and they decide to 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:06.760 stay home and raise the two kids who are under 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.520 the age of three, that the other partner agrees, like, 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:12.720 you know, will divide seventy five by twelve and each month, 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:14.880 I'm gonna put that amount in your account because like 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:18.480 that's the that's your payment for what you're doing. I've 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:19.600 just seen that online. 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:21.520 One thousand percent. 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:26.320 I think that, Like, I think that the fact that 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:29.480 that people because sometimes it's the husband or you know, 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:33.360 depending on their situation, whoever's staying at home and raising 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.400 kids is like, I think one of the hardest jobs 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:37.200 anyone could do. 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.839 Oh insane. They said the amount of hours you spend 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:42.880 breastfeeding is equivalent to a full time job or a 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.240 part time do I forget, but like something insane. 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:47.720 It's crazy, and like yeah, like my sister has five kids. 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.120 She just had a newborn. Yeah, and then she has 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:52.680 four boys, so she has four boys and a newborn girl. 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:56.200 And I'm like that job to me, and like keeping 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:59.720 the house clean and laundry going is like totally. 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:04.000 The older I get, the more respect I have for 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.040 that because I think, especially when I was younger in 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:09.840 You two, the vibe, you know, there was that like 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:11.960 those really sexists like just get in the kitchen, make 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:15.240 a sandwich. Like it was very derogatory towards women and 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.600 like really minimizing the rules that they do to keep 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:20.360 the house and to keep the family. And the older 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:23.640 you get, you're like, that is so difficult. Like what 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.040 you're doing, the amount of hours you're spending with the kids, 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:30.000 you're doing, the laundry, you're cleaning, you're cooking, you're the scheduling, 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:33.920 you're you're you're the executive assistant for five people. Like yeah, 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.600 you know. And so I think, once again, like whatever 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:39.520 you want to do, Like if someone told me I 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:40.760 just I want to be a mother, I was put 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:42.200 on arth to be a mother and raise my family, 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:44.240 good for you. And if someone else is like I 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:45.680 don't want to have kids and I want to work 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.000 and be in the business world, good for you. I 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:50.440 think that's where I like the conversation to go is 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.720 whatever you want to do, let's celebrate that and not 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:55.240 judge it because we're not you. 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:59.200 And make sure that you're taking care of yourself so 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:03.439 that you're not in a sticky situation where because you know. 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.960 Yeah, people get stuck and I've seen that too, just 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:06.959 can't know where to turn. 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:10.320 I like to start about having like if both people 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:14.559 are making money, and they're contributing, whether it's a joint 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:17.160 account or separate whatever it is, if both people are 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:20.880 in the process of attempting to make money. Because I 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:22.920 know there's hard times when people are like you know, 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.360 if they get like go or whatever. But yeah, I 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:29.160 just think it's it's an interesting conversation because it's like 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.240 you get just how like the people you interviewed on 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.440 your podcast gave you two separate opinions, right. 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.720 And because we're getting so granular with this, I might 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:40.440 just share one more thing, like Max. Max gets paid 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.000 into his accounts, I get paid in my accounts. We 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:44.800 can see each other's accounts, and then we move our 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:48.000 money into a family account, so like you know, God 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.520 forbid something happen, Like my account's not going into his 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:52.960 wallet like when I get paid. You know, So as 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:56.320 much as there's transparency and all, we have equal visibility. 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:59.480 Like it's not like when I make money from real pod, 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:02.200 it goes into a place where Max can access it 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.160 and spend it, like I take it and we put 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:06.080 it in savings, and we put it in family checking 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:06.800 and we put it in. 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:09.080 You know, for your future. Really it has fun all 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.960 that stuff. Are there any other things like that. You're like, 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:16.480 is there a sense of being more secure in your 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:19.040 relationship since you got married? Like did you ever did 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:21.840 you ever lack security in that and did you notice 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:22.320 a shift? 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:28.440 I've always felt a lot of trust and security with Max, 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:34.120 So no, because I feel like there there wasn't a 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:35.840 huge difference in that. I love the fact that he 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:36.360 has a ring. 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:41.240 I love that it's I like the lucky where Yeah, 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:42.040 yeah for sure. 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.200 But no, I've always been super grateful to feel, you know, 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:46.920 really secure. 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.040 Yeah, because I've had I know, I know people are 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:54.400 like I don't even like I never experience feeling insecure 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:55.960 in that way. But I did notice there was a 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:57.960 shift when we got married that it was like, all right, 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:02.720 it's the there's a commitment that's just different than anything else. 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.280 We'll say, I haven't even talked to Max about this, 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:08.200 it's not that deep, but I think, like the summer 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:10.560 before a wedding, I remember having like a like a 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:12.440 few weeks or a month with like these in and 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:15.600 out of thoughts of like wow, Like I'm like, did 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.160 I like, did I have enough fun in my life? 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:21.240 I'm gonna be with one person forever? 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:23.920 Like, but then when I explore that thought. I'm like, 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.880 I don't want to be with anyone but you, but 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:29.000 I think definitely as you gear up for the wedding, 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:33.160 you're like, wow, like, not that I haven't kissed anyone 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.640 else for eight years, but Easton, maybe you feel this way, 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:38.720 like the fact that your lips won't touch another human's 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.600 lips except for your partner's lips, no matter who it is. 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:45.440 You're like, WHOA, Like that's a commitment. Yeah, I had 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:45.800 that thought. 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:47.440 I was like, oh, I wanted to see how I 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:49.880 reacted when faced with that, and it was just pure 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:50.720 and utter bliss. 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.720 I'm so glad. 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.240 You know right and exactly Like of course you have 0:16:56.440 --> 0:17:02.080 those so I can't say save. But when you have 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.680 those anxious thoughts in your mind, that like tell you, 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:06.960 like just like the crazy things like that you see 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:08.480 in the movies or whatever, like you're gonna be have 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:11.119 one person forever. Like we love the movie for Christmases, 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.800 and you know how it's so funny in the opening. 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:15.359 Scene, they're like, are you guys getting married soon? If 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:16.800 you like marriage, why would we do that? If you 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:19.720 have one person have all these things like hanging That's 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:22.800 like one of our favorite movies. But when I explore 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:26.440 the thought, the thought further, No, there's no one else 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.879 I'd rather go on a date with, spend time with, 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.200 be intimate with, Like you know, it's like anything, it's 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:33.200 change in life. 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:37.360 I think that's that to me, Like I very much 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:39.560 feel that way with Haley, where I'm like I have 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.400 I don't. I never feel like I'm missing out on anything. Yeah, 0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:45.800 And I feel like that's just the comfort of being 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.679 with the right person totally, and not to say, like 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:51.400 maybe you're with the right person you have those thoughts. 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:52.920 I don't know. I haven't experienced that. 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:55.640 I don't think, but I do think that that there's 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:59.359 like peace in that, yes, totally, and like safety and 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.720 knowing that like it's okay if this is the only 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:02.440 person I kiss. 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:10.960 Do we talk about your new podcast? We talk about 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:12.600 we have so much to talk about. 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:16.280 I would love to whenever fitting, But let's. 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:17.439 Take a break and then we'll come back and talk 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:18.440 about all your podcasts. 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:35.600 All right. 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:38.880 So, as I mentioned before Victoria got here, she has 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:42.199 her podcast called Real Pod. I actually think you were 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.240