1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing In. This is part two 3 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: with Victoria Garrick Brown. We had such a great time 4 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: chit chatting and we wanted to extend the podcast into 5 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,759 Speaker 1: two episodes, so this is the second part. You just 6 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: celebrated one year of marriage. Yes, how long have you 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: all been together? 8 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 2: Total? Eight years? Okay, but one year of marriage? 9 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 3: How long have you lived together? 10 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 1: Ah? 11 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 2: We moved in together, like when after right after the 12 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 2: pandemic was like enough gone that people were like not 13 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 2: sheltering at their parents and stuff anymore. So we I 14 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 2: think we looked together for like, we moved in together 15 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 2: in twenty twenty one, So I think we've lived together 16 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 2: for like no, three years. Oh, actually, I'm bad at math. 17 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 2: The twenty twenty one year doesn't count because that's when 18 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 2: we moved in, So to twenty two to twenty three? 19 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I was like, wait, I have been counting 20 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: wrong one so bad. 21 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 2: I still like when I write, when I tip on 22 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 2: a check, I have a little addition column, It's like, 23 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 2: what's twenty five plus? Oh? 24 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: I just pull up my calculator. I don't even try 25 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: to do real bad. Okay, so you've lived together for 26 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: two let's say two and a half. Yeah, the difference. Yeah, 27 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: where was there like significant differences that you noticed after 28 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: like during marriage year one? 29 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 2: Not really, Like there's not a huge difference, I think, 30 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 2: at least for us, because we had been living together, 31 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 2: we did not have finances merged. So when we got married, 32 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 2: we merged finances. So that's been a difference, but in 33 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 2: a really great way. We were actually reflecting on this 34 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: last night at dinner. Of course, I'm like so annoying. 35 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, so we're gonna do questions. What's been 36 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 2: the most surprising thing about marriage? My friends hate when 37 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 2: I do that, but this is. 38 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: Literally I basically feel like Tanya's here with me. 39 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 2: I cannot sit at a dinner table without like questions 40 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 2: queuing all of us. Like I just sit there and 41 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, should we play a game? My friends are 42 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 2: all like, no, can we be in the moment? 43 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: Well, you're also Haley Hailey loves a game and a recap. 44 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 3: I do love that. 45 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: No. 46 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 2: I literally will be at dinner with like someone I 47 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 2: just met, like bringing out the box of we're not 48 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 2: really strangers and they're like, God, never gone. That's probably 49 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:16,679 Speaker 2: why don't have a friends all night. I'm kidding. So, uh, 50 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 2: we were talking about this. I was hesitant to merge 51 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 2: because I love the idea of like being a successful 52 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,079 Speaker 2: woman and making my own money and my mom. I 53 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 2: don't want to say my mom didn't have a career 54 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 2: because she's the world's best mom. So that was her 55 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 2: career and it's definitely a full time job. Yes, my 56 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 2: Yaya also stayed at home, so I'm kind of the 57 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 2: first generation. And then my yi as parents immigrated from Greece, 58 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 2: so I'm really the first, like and I don't have 59 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 2: a sister, the first girl in my family to like 60 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,920 Speaker 2: have a career and make her own money and support herself. 61 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 2: Of course, I'm super blessed and I've had many opportunities 62 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 2: because of like what my family, the privilege I had 63 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 2: growing up. But I was hesitant because of that, Like 64 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 2: I didn't want people to think, Oh, your husband works 65 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 2: in la real estates, so that's why you're doing this, 66 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 2: or that's why you bought that. Like a little part 67 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 2: of me is like, no, I did it because I 68 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 2: worked hard. But I actually did this fun episode of 69 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 2: Real Pod where I interviewed like a very feminist thought 70 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,519 Speaker 2: leader on the topic, so Tory Dunlap of her first 71 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 2: one hundred K, and I got her opinion of, like, 72 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 2: don't merge. It's a contract. You always want to protect 73 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 2: yourself in any contract. Why is this different? And then 74 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 2: I interviewed Max's brother because he is He's a complete opposite, 75 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 2: Like he's like merge team unity, like there should be 76 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 2: no separation, Like what's the point of getting married if 77 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 2: you're not completely unifying your lives? So, you know, I 78 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 2: took some time to think about it, and I did, 79 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 2: like it was like my journalism degree coming out on 80 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 2: that episode. I was like doing a very drive on 81 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 2: two interviews and then I compared and then I you know, 82 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 2: but I ended up merging. I realized I wanted to 83 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 2: do that, and I've really loved it because there's no scorekeeping, 84 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 2: and like when I succeed, he succeeds. When he succeeds, 85 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 2: I succeed, And I just really do feel like we 86 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 2: are on the same team, like I'm constantly in it 87 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 2: with someone. And so to your question of like what's 88 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 2: the difference, I think the difference is you invite all 89 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 2: the people you care about, to witness a moment that 90 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 2: you look the person you love in the eye and say, 91 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 2: I'm gonna be with you forever like sickness and in 92 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 2: health till death do us part, and like that's my promise, 93 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 2: and I'm not only promising it to you, but like 94 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 2: I at least value, I'm valuing my word in front 95 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 2: of these people. That's something to say for anyone who's 96 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 2: experienced divorce or it hasn't worked out. Like, of course 97 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 2: there's nuances and someone could be pretending to be someone 98 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 2: they're not like. But I think for us it was 99 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 2: like you, now you leave that day, and you do 100 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 2: feel like you have this invisible string attaching you and 101 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 2: this other person, Like I can't just cancel. I couldn't. 102 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 2: I couldn't just like quit all my jobs and say 103 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 2: I want to move abroad, Like I have to take 104 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 2: into account what he wants and what he needs. Fortunately, 105 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 2: I'm married someone who's so similar to me, and we 106 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 2: usually always want this anything down to like dinner every night, 107 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 2: So that's why compatibility is important. But I'd say that's 108 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 2: the biggest thing is like I have another half, Like 109 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 2: that is no secret that everyone knows about and like 110 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 2: I say, no secret in the sense of like everyone 111 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 2: came to witness, Like I said, I would prioritize his needs. 112 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 2: So I yeah, I think that's been the biggest thing 113 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 2: for us. It's just that like invisible sense of were tethered. 114 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 3: I love that. I do have a question though. 115 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can ask me anything. Okay, nothing's offensive, like 116 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: just I think, yeah, no, I. 117 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 3: Don't think it's offensive. 118 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:38,279 Speaker 1: If Max wasn't contributing as much financially, if you were 119 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,160 Speaker 1: like making a significant amount more, he wasn't in a 120 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: job where he was making a lot of money or 121 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: like a comparable amount of money, do you think you 122 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: would emerged. 123 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 2: So I say this because I think Max is fine 124 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 2: with it, because we've talked, he's talked, he talked about 125 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 2: this on our podcast. That is the case right now, Okay, 126 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 2: I like he does. He does great for himself. I'm 127 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 2: also in an incredibly lucrative business and fortunately having a 128 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 2: lot of success. There's there's a big gap and I'm 129 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 2: if we use the term breadwinner, that is me. But 130 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 2: I think if I think about role reversal, like if 131 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 2: Max had been you know, if Max, if the roles 132 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 2: were reversed. How would I feel if my husband was like, well, 133 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 2: you're not worthy of being treated as an equal with 134 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 2: me because you're not getting paid the same as me. 135 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 2: Like even though I know he works really hard and 136 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 2: he goes to his job and he has this amazing 137 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 2: career path that I know it's going to become very 138 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 2: fruitful for him, and then maybe I get canceled, maybe 139 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 2: my brands don't want to work with me again, and 140 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 2: then the pendulum swings. So that's the part of like 141 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 2: having you have to be really selfless and like any 142 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 2: little bit of like like when he buys me something expensive, 143 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 2: I could for sure think like, well you probably like 144 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 2: would you have been able to buy me that if 145 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 2: we didn't merge, Like it's my money. But I don't 146 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 2: view it as like that. I you really try to 147 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 2: rid yourself with the ego and the comparison and just 148 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 2: and then when the time in our life comes where 149 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,679 Speaker 2: it will where he's killing it and I'm struggling, that's 150 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,159 Speaker 2: where we're still killing it because we're in it together. 151 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 2: So that and that was a big part of the hesitation, 152 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 2: Like I don't have him written on my company, like 153 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 2: because that is where I'm like, like when I I'm like, 154 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 2: you can see my bank accounts, I can see his 155 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 2: bank accounts, and we move them into our family checking account. 156 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 2: Do I want to change the legal paperwork that says 157 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 2: his name is on my company that I run my 158 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 2: business through. No, because he's not a part of my business, 159 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 2: and I have pride in that. But the money that 160 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: I make for my business is our money, and the 161 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 2: money that he makes from his business is our money. 162 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's I think that's incredibly beautiful. 163 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: I think when you, I think, like choosing to move 164 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: in the direction where you make that commitment to each other, 165 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: I think I think that makes a lot of sense 166 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: of like, I think, especially when you're on the same page. 167 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 3: I'm curious, sir, do you have an opinion on this? 168 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: Easton's the only other, like he's married, so I. 169 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 4: Think it's important to keep certain things separate, just for like, 170 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 4: like my way, I've just bought this like vacation house, 171 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 4: and she it's in her name completely, Like it's like 172 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 4: sole and separate. We keep making jokes about it, like 173 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 4: every time I fix a leak, it's like, hey, you 174 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 4: know this is I have a vested interest in this 175 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 4: house now. But I have no doubt that we're going 176 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 4: to be with each other forever, but just you know, 177 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,119 Speaker 4: just in case, you know, who knows what could happen. 178 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's for and I love 179 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 2: that Easton, and I think it's whatever works for every 180 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 2: couple and I But I will say the most important 181 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 2: thing is that each person in the relationship maintains the 182 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 2: ability to make money. I think where you really create 183 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 2: risk is if one person is not making money, especially 184 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 2: it's usually the woman, and then if something does hit 185 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,319 Speaker 2: the fan, she has no opportunity. She can't seak of 186 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,679 Speaker 2: better her life, she can't take care of herself, she 187 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 2: can't move out. So I think both people being able 188 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,679 Speaker 2: to make money and have something to fall back on 189 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 2: is super important. God forbid anything happened with Max tonight, 190 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,679 Speaker 2: I could change things and like, I would still get 191 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 2: all my checks that are supposed to come in and 192 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 2: they would come to me, and he would, you know, 193 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,959 Speaker 2: I think I don't think I would ever want to 194 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 2: be in a situation where I had nothing coming in 195 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 2: and was relying on his money personally, because I've seen 196 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 2: it go really ugly for couples. But I love that 197 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 2: you asked easton his opinion, because I do think like there, 198 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 2: I have no judgment. I'm sharing. Oh yeah, no, how 199 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,320 Speaker 2: I do it? I think each person has to figure 200 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 2: it out. But one thing I will say is when 201 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 2: we went to when we went to our bank and 202 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 2: met about all this stuff, the banker was like, ninety 203 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 2: percent of the couples that we see, one or both 204 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 2: of them have secret accounts the other doesn't know about, 205 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 2: which was wild because he said something because it was 206 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 2: something like if I asked a question about like my 207 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 2: banking and the guy made a fac or an expression 208 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 2: of like, well, this is a conversation we should have 209 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 2: when your husband's not in the room, and I'm thinking, 210 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 2: I don't care. But then I was like, why do 211 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 2: you Why is that supposed to be confidential? And then 212 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,839 Speaker 2: we became you know, we're getting like little we're shooting 213 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 2: with this banker a little bit and you know this 214 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 2: is in like LA and he's like, well, he's like, 215 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 2: you know, ninety percent of the couples we see, like 216 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 2: someone always comes in alone to open up their secret, 217 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 2: secret stash or something, which I just think is interesting, 218 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 2: Like the level of that's really interesting, Like not like distrust, 219 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 2: but I think it's important. Like you're being a realist, right, Like, yeah, 220 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 2: anything can happen to anyone, and and that's that's part 221 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 2: of you know. I also think like when we say 222 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 2: like in sickness and in health, like I've seen a 223 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 2: variety of different relationships in my life, and people change. People 224 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 2: are different from we're married at twenty five, people are 225 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 2: different at forty five. You know when you lose family 226 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 2: and when you get fired and when like if I 227 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 2: did if something terrible happened in my career and I 228 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 2: didn't have the you know, cup filling energy I do 229 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 2: now from social like who would I be? I don't know. So, yes, 230 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 2: like you, you have to be realistic. But I think 231 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 2: this is what allows us to feel the most synergy 232 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 2: in our relationship, and I've been really happy with it. 233 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 3: I love that. I agree though. 234 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: I think it's like both people being able to come 235 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 1: to an agreement on what whatever the choices that you make. 236 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: But I also think because I was just having this conversation, 237 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: this is why I asked you about this, Because I 238 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: was just having this conversation a friend. Her friend is 239 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: in this situation with her. He's her fiance. They're not married, 240 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: but she doesn't. She stays home with the kids and 241 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: doesn't have and she isn't not in a good situation 242 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: and would like to get out, but she's staying because financially, 243 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 1: I mean, she doesn't have anything. And so it brought 244 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: up the conversation of like being able to have your 245 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: own you know, financial independence. 246 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 2: Yes, and then where does she even have the time 247 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 2: to support herself when she's raising his kids too, That's 248 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I've seen these interesting in social media 249 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 2: things about like being paid by your spouse, like if 250 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 2: you were staying home to take care of the kids, 251 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 2: like getting some sort of monthly stipend, like recognizing like 252 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 2: like I've just seen it. I'm bringing it up as 253 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 2: a talking point, but like, what do you guys think 254 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 2: of that? 255 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 3: There's people a contract. 256 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: Like you signed something where you're like, hey, I'm going 257 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 1: to be raising our kids at home and you're. 258 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 2: Not even signing it. But let's say that, like let's 259 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 2: say someone let's say someone was going to make seventy 260 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 2: five thousand dollars in their job and they decide to 261 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 2: stay home and raise the two kids who are under 262 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 2: the age of three, that the other partner agrees, like, 263 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 2: you know, will divide seventy five by twelve and each month, 264 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 2: I'm gonna put that amount in your account because like 265 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 2: that's the that's your payment for what you're doing. I've 266 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 2: just seen that online. 267 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 3: One thousand percent. 268 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 1: I think that, Like, I think that the fact that 269 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: that people because sometimes it's the husband or you know, 270 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 1: depending on their situation, whoever's staying at home and raising 271 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: kids is like, I think one of the hardest jobs 272 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 1: anyone could do. 273 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,839 Speaker 2: Oh insane. They said the amount of hours you spend 274 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 2: breastfeeding is equivalent to a full time job or a 275 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 2: part time do I forget, but like something insane. 276 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 1: It's crazy, and like yeah, like my sister has five kids. 277 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: She just had a newborn. Yeah, and then she has 278 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 1: four boys, so she has four boys and a newborn girl. 279 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 1: And I'm like that job to me, and like keeping 280 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: the house clean and laundry going is like totally. 281 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 2: The older I get, the more respect I have for 282 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 2: that because I think, especially when I was younger in 283 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 2: You two, the vibe, you know, there was that like 284 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 2: those really sexists like just get in the kitchen, make 285 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 2: a sandwich. Like it was very derogatory towards women and 286 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 2: like really minimizing the rules that they do to keep 287 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 2: the house and to keep the family. And the older 288 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 2: you get, you're like, that is so difficult. Like what 289 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 2: you're doing, the amount of hours you're spending with the kids, 290 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 2: you're doing, the laundry, you're cleaning, you're cooking, you're the scheduling, 291 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 2: you're you're you're the executive assistant for five people. Like yeah, 292 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 2: you know. And so I think, once again, like whatever 293 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 2: you want to do, Like if someone told me I 294 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 2: just I want to be a mother, I was put 295 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 2: on arth to be a mother and raise my family, 296 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 2: good for you. And if someone else is like I 297 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:45,680 Speaker 2: don't want to have kids and I want to work 298 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 2: and be in the business world, good for you. I 299 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 2: think that's where I like the conversation to go is 300 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 2: whatever you want to do, let's celebrate that and not 301 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 2: judge it because we're not you. 302 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: And make sure that you're taking care of yourself so 303 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 1: that you're not in a sticky situation where because you know. 304 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, people get stuck and I've seen that too, just 305 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:06,959 Speaker 2: can't know where to turn. 306 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: I like to start about having like if both people 307 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:14,559 Speaker 1: are making money, and they're contributing, whether it's a joint 308 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: account or separate whatever it is, if both people are 309 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: in the process of attempting to make money. Because I 310 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 1: know there's hard times when people are like you know, 311 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: if they get like go or whatever. But yeah, I 312 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: just think it's it's an interesting conversation because it's like 313 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: you get just how like the people you interviewed on 314 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 1: your podcast gave you two separate opinions, right. 315 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 2: And because we're getting so granular with this, I might 316 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 2: just share one more thing, like Max. Max gets paid 317 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 2: into his accounts, I get paid in my accounts. We 318 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 2: can see each other's accounts, and then we move our 319 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 2: money into a family account, so like you know, God 320 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 2: forbid something happen, Like my account's not going into his 321 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 2: wallet like when I get paid. You know, So as 322 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 2: much as there's transparency and all, we have equal visibility. 323 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 2: Like it's not like when I make money from real pod, 324 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 2: it goes into a place where Max can access it 325 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 2: and spend it, like I take it and we put 326 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 2: it in savings, and we put it in family checking 327 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 2: and we put it in. 328 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: You know, for your future. Really it has fun all 329 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: that stuff. Are there any other things like that. You're like, 330 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: is there a sense of being more secure in your 331 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 1: relationship since you got married? Like did you ever did 332 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 1: you ever lack security in that and did you notice 333 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: a shift? 334 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 2: I've always felt a lot of trust and security with Max, 335 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 2: So no, because I feel like there there wasn't a 336 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: huge difference in that. I love the fact that he 337 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 2: has a ring. 338 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: I love that it's I like the lucky where Yeah, 339 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: yeah for sure. 340 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 2: But no, I've always been super grateful to feel, you know, 341 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 2: really secure. 342 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I've had I know, I know people are 343 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: like I don't even like I never experience feeling insecure 344 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 1: in that way. But I did notice there was a 345 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 1: shift when we got married that it was like, all right, 346 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 1: it's the there's a commitment that's just different than anything else. 347 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 2: We'll say, I haven't even talked to Max about this, 348 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 2: it's not that deep, but I think, like the summer 349 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 2: before a wedding, I remember having like a like a 350 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 2: few weeks or a month with like these in and 351 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 2: out of thoughts of like wow, Like I'm like, did 352 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 2: I like, did I have enough fun in my life? 353 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 3: I'm gonna be with one person forever? 354 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 2: Like, but then when I explore that thought. I'm like, 355 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 2: I don't want to be with anyone but you, but 356 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 2: I think definitely as you gear up for the wedding, 357 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 2: you're like, wow, like, not that I haven't kissed anyone 358 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 2: else for eight years, but Easton, maybe you feel this way, 359 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 2: like the fact that your lips won't touch another human's 360 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 2: lips except for your partner's lips, no matter who it is. 361 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 2: You're like, WHOA, Like that's a commitment. Yeah, I had 362 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:45,800 Speaker 2: that thought. 363 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I wanted to see how I 364 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 4: reacted when faced with that, and it was just pure 365 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 4: and utter bliss. 366 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 2: I'm so glad. 367 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 5: You know right and exactly Like of course you have 368 00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 5: those so I can't say save. But when you have 369 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 5: those anxious thoughts in your mind, that like tell you, 370 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 5: like just like the crazy things like that you see 371 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 5: in the movies or whatever, like you're gonna be have 372 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,119 Speaker 5: one person forever. Like we love the movie for Christmases, 373 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 5: and you know how it's so funny in the opening. 374 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 2: Scene, they're like, are you guys getting married soon? If 375 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:16,800 Speaker 2: you like marriage, why would we do that? If you 376 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,720 Speaker 2: have one person have all these things like hanging That's 377 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 2: like one of our favorite movies. But when I explore 378 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,440 Speaker 2: the thought, the thought further, No, there's no one else 379 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 2: I'd rather go on a date with, spend time with, 380 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 2: be intimate with, Like you know, it's like anything, it's 381 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 2: change in life. 382 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,360 Speaker 1: I think that's that to me, Like I very much 383 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: feel that way with Haley, where I'm like I have 384 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,400 Speaker 1: I don't. I never feel like I'm missing out on anything. Yeah, 385 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 1: And I feel like that's just the comfort of being 386 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,679 Speaker 1: with the right person totally, and not to say, like 387 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 1: maybe you're with the right person you have those thoughts. 388 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 3: I don't know. I haven't experienced that. 389 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,640 Speaker 1: I don't think, but I do think that that there's 390 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: like peace in that, yes, totally, and like safety and 391 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 1: knowing that like it's okay if this is the only 392 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: person I kiss. 393 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 3: Do we talk about your new podcast? We talk about 394 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 3: we have so much to talk about. 395 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 2: I would love to whenever fitting, But let's. 396 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 1: Take a break and then we'll come back and talk 397 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,440 Speaker 1: about all your podcasts. 398 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 3: All right. 399 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,880 Speaker 1: So, as I mentioned before Victoria got here, she has 400 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,199 Speaker 1: her podcast called Real Pod. I actually think you were 401 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 1: the first podcast I did after Haley and I went 402 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: public with our relationship. 403 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 2: I know that was major I thank you for trusting me. 404 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,199 Speaker 3: I didn't know I was gonna talk. You really have 405 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 3: this sense. 406 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,360 Speaker 1: Where, like I do feel like I talked a lot 407 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,479 Speaker 1: more on that than I like anticipated when I went in. 408 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: But it was so comfortable. Anyone's such a hey, I 409 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,880 Speaker 1: got such a good response from people like that love 410 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: you and listen to your podcast. So you are very 411 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: known in the podcast world for Real Pod. But then 412 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: you have a new podcast coming out with one of 413 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,120 Speaker 1: your best friends I do. 414 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,719 Speaker 2: This is so exciting because I haven't talked about it. 415 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 2: It's been a big secret. Basically, my best friend Aubrey 416 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 2: and I and this is so funny. She's not a 417 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 2: content creator. She works in real estate in San Francisco. 418 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 2: Like she has no desire to like be in this life, 419 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:31,679 Speaker 2: but her and I read this amazing book in twenty 420 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 2: twenty called A New Earth by Eckhart Toll and it's 421 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 2: actually one of Oprah's favorite books. It's an incredible book 422 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 2: on the conscious versus the unconscious mind and really becoming 423 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,239 Speaker 2: aware to our ego and the voice inside of our 424 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,199 Speaker 2: head and kind of separating that to get more in 425 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 2: tune with the present moment and our higher self and 426 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 2: Aubrey and I read this book and we'd read a 427 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,919 Speaker 2: chapter and then we'd call each other and talk about it. 428 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 2: And it's a really cool thing when you're working on 429 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 2: self growth and one of your best buds is like 430 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,960 Speaker 2: in it with you. You can have those conversations that 431 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 2: you feel like have meaning you're not just gossiping about 432 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 2: a friend or talking about something silly. And we read 433 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 2: like half of it and then put it down and 434 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 2: then decided to revisit it. But this time I was like, 435 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 2: what if you know we're gonna call each other and 436 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,159 Speaker 2: discuss it anyways, can I just record it? And it's 437 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 2: only gonna it's ten chapters, ten episodes. I'll drop it 438 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 2: in the real pod feed and anyone who is intrigued 439 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 2: with this book wants to grow, you know, dive into 440 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:34,439 Speaker 2: themselves and explore their thought patterns and their you know, 441 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 2: emotional habits and triggers, but also have like two besties 442 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 2: they can listen to like go through it at the 443 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 2: same time. I would love to give that to someone. 444 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 2: So that's what we're doing. It's not picked up by 445 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,920 Speaker 2: a network, it's not anything major. It's literally a passion project. 446 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 2: And I'm really excited to see, like who's interested in 447 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,680 Speaker 2: buying the book and reading along and listening along. 448 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 3: I love that. 449 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:58,439 Speaker 1: So you're just you're right now, you're doing this one book. 450 00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: That's the focus. 451 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,919 Speaker 2: Correct, So we don't have a big plan. We're not 452 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 2: sure like how it's gonna go. And we also I 453 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 2: am such a perfectionist and everything that I do and 454 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 2: I strategize, I think about the whole thing. So to 455 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 2: just be like, you know what, We're gonna read one book. 456 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:15,159 Speaker 2: We're gonna review each chapter ten episodes, and then we'll 457 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 2: freaking see like maybe we do another book, maybe we 458 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 2: shift it, who knows, but this is what we feel 459 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 2: like really drawn to do at the moment. So it's 460 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 2: this book and it's ten weeks, ten episodes, and yeah, 461 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 2: we have no idea how it'll go. 462 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 3: That's really cool. 463 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: I want to read the I'm gonna pitch a setanya 464 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 1: that that we can listen to. 465 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 2: It is amazing. It's literally I wish I brought it 466 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,919 Speaker 2: with me and I could read some stuff from it, 467 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:42,719 Speaker 2: but like essentially like at a high level if I 468 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 2: had to explain, uh, and the book is so high 469 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 2: level that Aubrey and I will joke We're like, you 470 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 2: came for answers, we don't have them either, Like we're 471 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 2: just talking about you know what we thought. Our podcast 472 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 2: is called so much to say because as I was 473 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 2: as we explaining the book to one of our moms, 474 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 2: Aubrey whispered to me, I have so much decide, like 475 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 2: about the chapter being so juicy, and I was like, Bam, 476 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 2: that's it. So much to say. It will be our name. 477 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 2: But to give you guys a little bit more information 478 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 2: on what this book is about. The author of the 479 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 2: book is a renowned spiritual thought leader. He's one of 480 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 2: Oprah's favorite people, favorite authors. He actually wrote The Power 481 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,400 Speaker 2: of Now if you've ever heard about that book on presence, 482 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 2: which is amazing as well. And he came across this 483 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 2: work because he got to a place in his life 484 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 2: where he was really depressed and he started thinking to himself, 485 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,439 Speaker 2: I can't live with myself anymore, and that would just 486 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,399 Speaker 2: repeat over and over, I can't live with myself anymore. 487 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 2: I can't live with myself anymore. And then one day 488 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 2: it occurred to him, there's two people in that sentence. 489 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 2: There's the I who can't live with the me. So 490 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 2: who am I actually am I the voice and the 491 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 2: thoughts that I have or the person in the awareness 492 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 2: behind those thoughts. And so that's what the book is about, 493 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 2: is creating that separation between you and your thoughts. And actually, 494 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,400 Speaker 2: in one of the recent chapters, I read chapter five 495 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 2: about the Pain Body, it gives this anecdote about a 496 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,880 Speaker 2: duck and it's called the Duck with a Human Mind, 497 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,200 Speaker 2: and it's this cute short story and it basically says, 498 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 2: if you ever see ducks in a pond fighting, you know, 499 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 2: they get into this their argument, they can't speak, they're clacking, 500 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 2: they're cracking away, but they're like they look like they're 501 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,719 Speaker 2: getting physical with each other. And then all of a sudden, 502 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 2: like you know, the fight ends and they flap their 503 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,880 Speaker 2: wings and then like they swim off, and the pond 504 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 2: looks completely calm, as if nothing ever happened there. And 505 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 2: his point was, if the duck had a human mind, 506 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 2: you know, the fight would end and then the duck 507 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 2: would swim off. Oh, that stupid duck thinks he runs 508 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 2: this pond. I run this pond. He was swimming too 509 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 2: close to me. He's gonna get it next time. I'm 510 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 2: gonna go to all my other ducks, but he just 511 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 2: did to me like, and that's what happens to us, 512 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 2: and then we get trapped in this cycle of like 513 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 2: negative thinking and negative thought patterns, and we need to 514 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 2: be more like the ducks and just flap our wings 515 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 2: and like move on. Like for example, it was my 516 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 2: anniversary and I didn't get a text shoeing me happy 517 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,640 Speaker 2: aniversary from someone I would have thought would have set 518 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 2: happy anniversary, And so there goes there goes my thoughts. 519 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 2: I can't believe this person to text me in a 520 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,760 Speaker 2: happy anniversary. That is so unthoughtful. I would have texted them. 521 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 2: I probably would have sent them flowers. They could even 522 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 2: text me, Like my mind is creating this, spinning this narrative. 523 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 2: And I took my deep breast and I'm thinking about 524 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 2: this book, and I'm like, what do I know to 525 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 2: be true? This person loves me, cares about me, and 526 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 2: wants the best for me, period. They didn't text me 527 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:29,199 Speaker 2: for my anniversary. Period. Any storyline I'm adding to that 528 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 2: is my ego is my ego voice creating some drama 529 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 2: because it feeds on it. And then what do you know? 530 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 2: This morning, this person says, Hey, how was your weekend 531 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 2: wanted to let you guys have the day yesterday, like 532 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,439 Speaker 2: tell me about your anniversary, you know, And I'm so 533 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 2: glad I didn't go through this spirally yesterday. I wasted 534 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,920 Speaker 2: thirty minutes talking to Max about this person and text 535 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 2: me and then call my mom. Can you believe? And 536 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 2: waste an hour bitching because that's feeding that ego voice. 537 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 2: So you know, that's how you can pull this really deep, 538 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 2: intense book and make it apply to your everyday life. 539 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 2: And it's been transformative for me, and I hope you 540 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 2: get it and you read along with us. 541 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,800 Speaker 1: I don't know I'm talking to me or our listeners both, 542 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: but everybody you're like absolutely. 543 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 3: It kind of reminds me. Have you read The Untethered Soul? 544 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 2: Yes? 545 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 3: Okay, So it's kind of. 546 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,680 Speaker 2: That same thought. I haven't read it, but heard about it. Okay. 547 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,840 Speaker 1: It's kind of the same thing of like your thoughts 548 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 1: versus truth, yes, versus like what's happening? 549 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,360 Speaker 3: Totally because I have internal. 550 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,159 Speaker 1: Dialogue of like what I want to say, what I 551 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 1: should say, what I'm gonna say? Twenty four to seven 552 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 1: every conversation I go, do I say too much? Did 553 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: I was? I I say something rude, like I'll probably 554 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: overthink this podcast, like for you know, I do the 555 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: same thing. 556 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 2: That's your ego voice, yes, trying to make you feel 557 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 2: inferior or superior. That's another misconception is ego is just 558 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 2: I'm better than everyone, like I'm the greatest. Ego is 559 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 2: also oh my gosh, I shouldn't say anything because they're 560 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,359 Speaker 2: gonna hate the real me. Oh my god, I'm a 561 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,120 Speaker 2: piece of and I'm not worthy enough to be here. 562 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 2: All of that is like your brain trying to create 563 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 2: a story that it can stick to. But another thing 564 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,679 Speaker 2: that he talks about in this book is the fact 565 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 2: that words like us talking right now, it's vowels, ae, 566 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:17,200 Speaker 2: I owe you, it's consonants, fuck, uh suh whatever, cuh Okay, 567 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 2: He goes, do you really think you could possibly communicate 568 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 2: the meaning of life and your purpose on earth with 569 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 2: a few made up sounds? Like no? So his point 570 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 2: is like that when we sit here, like what's my purpose? 571 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 2: Who am I? We are trying to get an answer 572 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,760 Speaker 2: to something that we can't you know, And it's reconnecting 573 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 2: to the breathing and just I'm just gonna be and 574 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 2: who I am is just the essence of me in 575 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,159 Speaker 2: this moment and not any other labels I attached to it, 576 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,879 Speaker 2: or how I compare myself to others. That's your ego, 577 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 2: trying to figure something out that it will never figure out. 578 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:57,320 Speaker 3: Wow, I know that is so fascinating. 579 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 1: I mean, it's so it's so true, like how often 580 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 1: we do that, and how much time we spend wasting 581 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,440 Speaker 1: spiral like spiraling and making up scenarios, and like how 582 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,200 Speaker 1: relationships are hindered by those thoughts totally and it's one 583 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:16,160 Speaker 1: sided totally. You were having a full one sided destruction zone. Yeah, 584 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: and then the person's like, I just wanted to give 585 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: you space to enjoy your weekend together. 586 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 2: Totally fully, And I'm so but and so I'm glad 587 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,120 Speaker 2: that I didn't do the disrection. I read my book 588 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 2: and I and I remember, don't add storyline, and like 589 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 2: it was funny how I was proved this morning, like 590 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 2: why that was the right thing to do. 591 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 3: It's amazing. 592 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:34,879 Speaker 2: I love that. 593 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm honestly gonna get the book and join 594 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: in for the listening for the recas. 595 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,080 Speaker 2: And we were joking, we're like it's kind of like 596 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 2: a TV show. We're like, just get through the first 597 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 2: two episodes, cause three, four, five, those are juicy, Like 598 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 2: it goes a while to warm up because it is 599 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 2: such a deep book, like you're you're pouring out your ugly, 600 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,119 Speaker 2: like my ugly of like what I even just said, 601 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,040 Speaker 2: like I was bitching like whatever. People might be thinking, 602 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 2: oh my god, this girl, like no one's supposed to 603 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 2: take Like we're putting ourself out there to be judged. 604 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 2: And I think it took us like the chapter one, 605 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 2: chapter two recap to then recapping the third chapter four 606 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,680 Speaker 2: chapter We're really being like, you know, this is my ugly, 607 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 2: this is my ego, and hoping that by that point 608 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 2: people who are that far in the book like won't 609 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 2: judge us. 610 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they're like maybe once they get to there, 611 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,399 Speaker 1: they're like, oh yeah, my, I know my ego. 612 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 3: Was it doing too much work? Yeah? 613 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 1: When you said you said earlier you're a perfectionist. Did 614 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:34,240 Speaker 1: did that come through sports? And has that always been 615 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: part of your personality or was that something that came 616 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: with Like I feel like something changes when you go 617 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 1: from I wasn't a. 618 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 3: College athlete, but I was a high school athlete. 619 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: But I feel like there's a huge shift when it 620 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: goes from high school to college, that's just like another 621 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 1: level of pressure, and I mean ultimately perfectionism, because there's 622 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: a lot riding on the line at that point. 623 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 2: Yes, I definitely think that college is where there was 624 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 2: like a magnet fine glass on it. And I truly 625 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 2: felt like if I was late, I picked up in 626 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 2: the entire team was running and that ruined my whole 627 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 2: Tuesday and I let everyone down, Like certainly the stakes 628 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 2: got to a level of high that I'd never experienced before. 629 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 2: But growing up, I just grew up in a town 630 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,840 Speaker 2: where you just achieved, like you achieved. That was what 631 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 2: we did. It was a very pressure cooker community. I 632 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 2: grew up privileged and at a school that was basically 633 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 2: like you know, could have been a It's like an 634 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 2: you know, an ivy feeder type of situation, like you 635 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 2: just need to be a star on your sports team, 636 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 2: and then you need to be four point zero taking 637 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 2: AP classes, and then you also need to be you know, 638 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 2: doing community work and building houses and going to the 639 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 2: shelter like it was. I just I just always grew 640 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 2: up in this environment of achieve My parents never put 641 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 2: pressure on me to be that way, and I know 642 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 2: they would have loved me no matter what if I failed. 643 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 2: It was never like I won't receive my parents' love. 644 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 2: And I know that's usually where people go with that. 645 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:07,480 Speaker 2: It was truly just like I succeed and everyone here succeeds, 646 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 2: and you want to succeed the most. And yeah, and 647 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,080 Speaker 2: then I think in college I just reached like my 648 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 2: wits end almost and then that's where I kind of 649 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 2: broke down with anxiety and depression. 650 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 1: That's when you did your TED talk, And that's like 651 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 1: kind of what we're sparked, like the conversation around you 652 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: and bringing awareness to the pressure because I felt like 653 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 1: after I watched your TED Talk and we had you 654 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,200 Speaker 1: on the podcast, I felt like, all of a sudden, 655 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: I was hearing these stories about these college athletes and 656 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: the mental health and yeah, it's a it's a like crisis. 657 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 2: It is definitely a crisis. And I think the most 658 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 2: unique thing for me now is feeling so far from 659 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 2: that girl that I was. But that gives me the 660 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 2: hope and the inspiration to communicate that to the current 661 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 2: athletes who might feel like this is my entire world. 662 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 2: Like I mean, even when you think about, you know, 663 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 2: the very unfortunate amount of suicides that occur in student athletes, 664 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 2: the fact that where they may be thinking like this 665 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 2: situation will determine if my life is worth living, you know, 666 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 2: And who's to say you can't be in someone's brain, 667 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 2: And oftentimes when you're experiencing that sort of depression, you 668 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 2: can't think clearly being where I am now, It's like, 669 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 2: I want to show that there is so much for 670 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 2: you beyond this game and this position and this championship 671 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: and this bubble that I know you're in and you 672 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 2: feel like everyone cares about it and everyone's watching you. 673 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 2: But guess what, there's millions of people in China who 674 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 2: don't know you and don't care about you, and like 675 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 2: that could be a negative, like oh my god, these 676 00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 2: people don't know me, they don't care about you, or 677 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 2: it's like, oh my god, no one cares, like who 678 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,840 Speaker 2: gives up, like you know, and so it's like that's 679 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 2: I kind of want to like shake the shoulders a 680 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 2: little bit. And I hope now that I'm doing almost 681 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 2: such different stuff and I'm not so tied to the 682 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 2: sports world, I think current athletes are like whoa, like, 683 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,680 Speaker 2: what could I go on to like enjoy doing or 684 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 2: pursue with my life that isn't sports relationship. 685 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,320 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I that's funny because anytime I would get 686 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 1: in my head about something, like I think specifically, I 687 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 1: remember before Haley and I came out, and I would 688 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: think like, oh my gosh, like I'm gonna if people 689 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 1: are like mean about it or negative or whatever. There 690 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:40,080 Speaker 1: would be comfort in being like no one cares, Like 691 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 1: like in my mind, I'm like, no one cares as 692 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 1: much about this as you care about it, you know, 693 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 1: And like that brought me comfort because like I guess 694 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 1: some people would be like, oh dang, no one, no 695 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: one cares. But I found comfort and like literally, Becka, 696 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,200 Speaker 1: no one cares about this more than you. 697 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 2: Well, I was thinking on that note, like whenever you 698 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 2: see some major breaking celebrity news, you're like whoa, and 699 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 2: you like maybe send it to a friend. You look 700 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 2: at it, and then you put your phone down, and 701 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,400 Speaker 2: like you look around and everyone's living their life. Time 702 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 2: doesn't stop because someone got canceled or like did something. Yeah, 703 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 2: but I will say to any like athletes Listening or 704 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 2: athlete scrubbers. And The Hidden Opponent is a charity that 705 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 2: I founded with a community of people who are like 706 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 2: leaning on each other and talking about these things. So 707 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,760 Speaker 2: I also love that that still lives on and is 708 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,960 Speaker 2: a place where that like, even though I feel like 709 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 2: I'm in a different place, the athletes of today who 710 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 2: are going through whatever they're going through, can have a 711 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 2: platform to share and be heard. 712 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:33,959 Speaker 3: I mean, it's amazing. 713 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 1: It's like you started something and created a community, and 714 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,040 Speaker 1: even though maybe you are in a different place in 715 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 1: your life, you have you can look back on it. 716 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 1: You have a voice now of being like, hey, it 717 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 1: gets better, this isn't yeah, how life is forever. And 718 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: also there's a space for people who are in the 719 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 1: thick of it, totally and totally in it. 720 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 2: And I think whenever I think, people just want to 721 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,160 Speaker 2: be heard. And I love the fact that if someone 722 00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,080 Speaker 2: is an athlete in school and they're struggling or they 723 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 2: want to share their experience and find people who relate, 724 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 2: like we do that, like we are happy to give 725 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,560 Speaker 2: you a platform and a voice. Because I don't know, 726 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 2: had I not had the spontaneous opportunity of a lifetime 727 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,759 Speaker 2: to audition for Ted that happened to be at my 728 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 2: school the semester, I was feeling like the stars aligned 729 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,319 Speaker 2: and I was ready to talk about it. I don't 730 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,960 Speaker 2: know what I have ever shared my story in that way? 731 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:21,799 Speaker 2: Who knows. 732 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:26,400 Speaker 1: Do you feel this sense of pressure of like needing 733 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,440 Speaker 1: to be vulnerable and relatable in social media? Like do 734 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 1: you sometimes feel like, oh, I feel like I share 735 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,279 Speaker 1: so much like but that's kind of where like, that's 736 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 1: I think why people love you is the sense of 737 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,640 Speaker 1: like you talk about real things. You're talking I mean, 738 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 1: your podcast is called real Pod and you have a 739 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,640 Speaker 1: hashtag called real Post. 740 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 3: And that's like why people follow you. 741 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,879 Speaker 1: But do you ever feel this sense of pressure of 742 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 1: like I need to be vulnerable and open about this. 743 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,640 Speaker 1: But this is a really hard time. I'm going through 744 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 1: such a good. 745 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 2: Question, and I feel like every year I learned something 746 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 2: new about out where I stand with both being relatable 747 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,839 Speaker 2: and being vulnerable. I think if I start with the 748 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,800 Speaker 2: relatable piece, I think I've done a lot of work 749 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,880 Speaker 2: in recognizing my privilege and that I'm not relatable to everyone, 750 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:14,759 Speaker 2: and that has been a really hard pill for me 751 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 2: to swallow. Just you know, of course, you want to 752 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 2: relate to everyone, and you want to think that you're 753 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 2: just like everyone, and honestly, just even reading a New 754 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 2: Earth like, all humans are the same and we share 755 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,879 Speaker 2: something in some way, and that's I think we all 756 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,440 Speaker 2: suffer and that's what unites this as human. But I 757 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,440 Speaker 2: have to have the perspective to recognize the much greater 758 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,719 Speaker 2: suffering another person has in their body than I do 759 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,720 Speaker 2: in mine. So I think, you know, especially since twenty twenty, 760 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 2: like swallowing that pill of I'm not relatable to everyone 761 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 2: and acknowledging that has been a major thing. It's also 762 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 2: very difficult for me because I want everyone to like 763 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 2: me and to see themselves in me, and that's not reality, 764 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,600 Speaker 2: and so that's something I've worked on. I also think, 765 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:57,680 Speaker 2: like on a personal note, allowing myself to do what 766 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,319 Speaker 2: I want to do and like even just post more 767 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 2: about fashion and my outfits, and then the voice in 768 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 2: my head being like, oh my god, all the athletes 769 00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 2: are going to be like this girl used to be 770 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,279 Speaker 2: such an inspiring athlete and now she just all she 771 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,279 Speaker 2: cares about is what she airs. Like That's what my 772 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 2: anxious thought will say. But it's like, but this makes 773 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,160 Speaker 2: me happy right now, and it brings me joy, and 774 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,120 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be myself because I'm gonna hold on 775 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,239 Speaker 2: to this version of me that I think other people like. 776 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,719 Speaker 2: So you know, that's been my work there with the 777 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,880 Speaker 2: relatability piece, and then I think with the vulnerable aspect. 778 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,560 Speaker 2: I never have ever shared anything like the moment to 779 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,360 Speaker 2: day it happens. I'm always like a week, two weeks 780 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 2: in it past it to be able to even formulate thoughts. 781 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,319 Speaker 2: You don't want to share something with the world and 782 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:40,000 Speaker 2: be so fragile that when they, you know, respond or 783 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 2: comment hate, like you're susceptible to that damage. And then 784 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 2: I think there's a piece of especially now with where 785 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,840 Speaker 2: I'm at, some people don't want to be put on 786 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,839 Speaker 2: my Instagram and they don't want to be publicized, and 787 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 2: I might have an issue with them that I would 788 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,360 Speaker 2: love to share what I've learned from it, but that 789 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,920 Speaker 2: involves revealing what they're going through with them, so I 790 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 2: can't do that, which is about but of course I 791 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:07,720 Speaker 2: respect that. So I think, you know, I'm always trying 792 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,359 Speaker 2: to navigate it the best that I can. I think 793 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 2: I've been pushing myself to explain myself a little bit less. 794 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 2: I'm the people pleaser in me manifest through explaining, Like 795 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:19,839 Speaker 2: even if we go back to being late today, I'm 796 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 2: so sorry I'm late, Like you know, there was a 797 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,839 Speaker 2: I had to get gas, which is true. And then 798 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,320 Speaker 2: I'm like, and then we couldn't find your studios, Like 799 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,399 Speaker 2: I'm telling you every little reason and why we were late? 800 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,839 Speaker 2: Why am I doing that? Like I can just say 801 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,399 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry I was late, period, Like I don't 802 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,239 Speaker 2: need to justify or try to explain so that it 803 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 2: hits you a little less. And I feel like I 804 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,680 Speaker 2: do that with my audience, Like even going to Taylor 805 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,919 Speaker 2: Swift twice, I was super self conscious. Like I said, 806 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,040 Speaker 2: I got invited to go two other times. I could 807 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 2: have gone four times. Yeah, I didn't, honestly, be the 808 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 2: greater reason was because I didn't want the backlash of 809 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 2: you went three times, you went four times. I was 810 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,320 Speaker 2: already getting people being like I can't believe you went twice. 811 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 2: I can't even get a ticket. So I feel like 812 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,440 Speaker 2: in that situation, I'm like, well, I really wanted to 813 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,880 Speaker 2: go because I'm a big fan, so I bought my 814 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,919 Speaker 2: ticket and yes, I bought my ticket and I spent 815 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 2: a lot of money and like yes, and then you 816 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,760 Speaker 2: know what, I got invited and what am I gonna say? Notice? 817 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,439 Speaker 2: Like why am I doing that, I should just live 818 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,600 Speaker 2: my freaking life. And if I wanted to go four times, 819 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,919 Speaker 2: I could have accepted those invites. So of course I'm 820 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,040 Speaker 2: still trying to grow. I don't know, do you feel 821 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:19,880 Speaker 2: like you have to explain yourself all the time? 822 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,920 Speaker 1: I do, But I'm I feel like I'm working through 823 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,400 Speaker 1: not having that mentality. Because Tanya brought that up. She 824 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,239 Speaker 1: was like, are people gonna be upset that we went twice? 825 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,200 Speaker 1: And I was like, Tanya, I can't live my life 826 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:31,840 Speaker 1: like we can't live our life like that. 827 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 3: I mean, I wish that. 828 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,800 Speaker 1: Believe me, if I could have bought a whole arena 829 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: for everyone that I know to get to experience, that 830 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,359 Speaker 1: I would have done in a heartbeat. But I said 831 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: yes to two invites, and I was like so excited, 832 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,200 Speaker 1: and I got to bring because I went the second 833 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:48,799 Speaker 1: night with the brand, I got to bring one of 834 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,919 Speaker 1: my best friends who's like the biggest swifty, who didn't 835 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,279 Speaker 1: have a ticket. So it's like, yeah, I could over 836 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,440 Speaker 1: explain myself. But then it's like you you could say, oh, 837 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: but I bought my tickets the first night, and the 838 00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,839 Speaker 1: people go, well, aren't you so lucky that you could 839 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 1: have to buy this ticket. 840 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,239 Speaker 3: It's like, you never. 841 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,320 Speaker 1: Can fully explain yourself to make everyone happy exactly. 842 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:09,400 Speaker 2: But then I think about too, I would never ever, like, 843 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,840 Speaker 2: you know, be negative towards someone else who got to 844 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,040 Speaker 2: experience something with their life. So then you also have 845 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,520 Speaker 2: to recognize, like, why am I putting value to the 846 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,440 Speaker 2: opinions of someone who clearly I don't like respect the 847 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 2: way they're going about this, because I would just never 848 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,200 Speaker 2: do this. So I'm working on explaining myself less. Like 849 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,400 Speaker 2: even the days I don't post as much on Instagram, 850 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,480 Speaker 2: I used to be like, hi, sorry because blah blahlah, 851 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,960 Speaker 2: I'm just like, no, why am I giving an explanation 852 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,360 Speaker 2: that I own no one for what I decided to 853 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 2: do with my day. So I'm working on that. It's 854 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 2: very hard for me, but my motto is it's okay 855 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,399 Speaker 2: to be misunderstood, and I keep trying to come back 856 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,919 Speaker 2: to that, So okay to be misunderstood. People aren't always 857 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,920 Speaker 2: gonna get you. They're not going to know your intentions 858 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,319 Speaker 2: and they're not gonna like you, and that's okay, and 859 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,600 Speaker 2: you're not always gonna get that for other people. 860 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:55,080 Speaker 3: Totally. I think about there was I just will never forget. 861 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,040 Speaker 1: When I was on The Bachelor, I saw this quote 862 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,879 Speaker 1: on I was like, probably dark and searching quotes because 863 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,840 Speaker 1: that's what I like to do, find quotes that I 864 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,719 Speaker 1: can I passive aggressively put up on Instagram. But anyways, 865 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,200 Speaker 1: I found this quote and it was like, it's something 866 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,279 Speaker 1: like you can be the juiciest, ripest peach on the tree, 867 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,080 Speaker 1: and there's still someone who doesn't like peaches. 868 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:13,959 Speaker 3: And I was like, you. 869 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 1: Know what, Like I could be the best version of myself. 870 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,800 Speaker 1: I could never make a mistake, I could be likable, funny, 871 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,600 Speaker 1: all the things, and there could still be someone who 872 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: just doesn't like me. 873 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:26,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, for no reason. 874 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,960 Speaker 2: Wait, I love that and I love that you love quotes. 875 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:35,080 Speaker 2: And another one on this on this is two things. One, 876 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 2: people can only meet you as deeply as they meet themselves. 877 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,080 Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, It's like it's not a reflection 878 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,480 Speaker 2: of you, it's it's how deeply they can meet themselves. 879 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 2: And then the second is most people don't even know themselves. 880 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 2: Why does it matter what they think of you? Yeah, 881 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:51,719 Speaker 2: and I love that one well. 882 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,240 Speaker 1: Dixas I was I've had this conversation on the podcast 883 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,799 Speaker 1: of like when you go to therapy and like you 884 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,279 Speaker 1: start becoming aware of things that you need to work on. 885 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,440 Speaker 3: It is work like. 886 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 1: It is not like you go to therapy and all 887 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,279 Speaker 1: of a sudden you're fine, Like if anything, like going 888 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,799 Speaker 1: to therapy is like a lot of work, and like 889 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 1: self reflection, it's not fun, it's not comfortable. And I 890 00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,960 Speaker 1: think people think like, oh, I go to therapy, I'm 891 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 1: all good. But to me, I find it to be 892 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,279 Speaker 1: like the most annoying thing is like when I become 893 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 1: aware of the things that I do in my habits 894 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:26,160 Speaker 1: and whatever. And so I feel like if you get 895 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,880 Speaker 1: to this sense of awareness of being able to be 896 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,120 Speaker 1: empathetic and listen to people and see people for who 897 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 1: they are, then you're able to understand when they're hateful 898 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 1: or negative because they haven't done that work on themselves. 899 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:39,879 Speaker 3: And it's a lot of work. 900 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:43,000 Speaker 1: It's so much easier to focus on other people than yourself. 901 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 2: And I think I've also been taking that because it's 902 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:51,839 Speaker 2: so on point and adding the challenge of like no 903 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 2: one can make me feel a certain way. I choose 904 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:59,000 Speaker 2: how I'm going to react and thinking about like another 905 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,240 Speaker 2: quote I love is be slow to anger and abounding 906 00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,759 Speaker 2: and kindness, and you know, something happened the other day 907 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,600 Speaker 2: where honestly I realized someone betrayed me, And an old 908 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 2: version of me would have been like, so mad, let's 909 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,680 Speaker 2: confront this, Let's make them feel bad, Let's be dramatic 910 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,160 Speaker 2: and say something and then ghost whatever. And I literally 911 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,840 Speaker 2: just was like be slow to anger and abounding in 912 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,480 Speaker 2: kindness and like, never fully react until you've thought about 913 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,680 Speaker 2: their situation, their intentions, and their perspective. And it's like, 914 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,279 Speaker 2: I can see why this person did this, because you know, 915 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,840 Speaker 2: they thought that this is how everyone was gonna achieve happiness, 916 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,319 Speaker 2: and like you know, and and then I just I 917 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:35,640 Speaker 2: breathed through it and it didn't bother me. And I 918 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,960 Speaker 2: didn't pick a fight, and I know this thing and 919 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,880 Speaker 2: I never even brought it up because I feel like 920 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:42,000 Speaker 2: I did the work in my head. I don't even 921 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,000 Speaker 2: need to have a conversation with this person. I did 922 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,319 Speaker 2: it all, like you know. And I was like, do 923 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,640 Speaker 2: so to anger and abounding kindness. 924 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,920 Speaker 1: You pat yourself in the bat and back was like 925 00:42:52,200 --> 00:43:00,160 Speaker 1: jes A psycho. No, I'm like what, okay, okay, we're 926 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,840 Speaker 1: wrapping up. What's the book of that you're going to 927 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:03,360 Speaker 1: recap on? 928 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,160 Speaker 2: So much to say a New Earth by Eckhart Toll 929 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 2: and you can purchase that wherever. And if you can't 930 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,440 Speaker 2: afford a copy, DM me okay, okay, love that. 931 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,920 Speaker 3: And then and where can they DM you at? 932 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:18,520 Speaker 2: Victoria Brown on Instagram? Yep, with any at the end 933 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,239 Speaker 2: and TikTok right, yep, everywhere is Victory Brown. And then 934 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 2: my podcast is called real Pod and that's where you 935 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 2: can find Becca's episode if you want to rewind. I've 936 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:29,120 Speaker 2: also had Tanya and so much to say is going 937 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,120 Speaker 2: to drop in there for the next ten weeks. 938 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:32,960 Speaker 3: When when does that officially come out? 939 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,400 Speaker 2: It comes out this Friday. But this Friday is an 940 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,440 Speaker 2: intro episode, so we're going to talk more about what 941 00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,640 Speaker 2: we're doing. You have all the time to order read 942 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,880 Speaker 2: the first chapter because next Friday will be the first. 943 00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,280 Speaker 1: Breakay okay, so next Friday is the first recap episode. 944 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,680 Speaker 2: Great, So I'm like, not us giving everyone a signed 945 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,000 Speaker 2: reading in August, Like, did we not think of a 946 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,839 Speaker 2: better launch month? It's fine, yeah, just like the Yeah, 947 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:52,840 Speaker 2: they're starting school. 948 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,200 Speaker 1: All the parents are like, great, here's another book you 949 00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:55,719 Speaker 1: have to read. 950 00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,440 Speaker 2: But also this one is joy I'm so cited. 951 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,280 Speaker 1: I think I think it's really I think it's gonna 952 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,680 Speaker 1: be something that I really enjoy, and I'm gonna really 953 00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,960 Speaker 1: try to be like diligent and stay on track with your. 954 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,560 Speaker 2: Podcast FaceTime or call me whenever we can also dish 955 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:11,879 Speaker 2: on it. 956 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll just be like, hey, so I just read 957 00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:18,040 Speaker 1: that chapter. Thank you so much for filling in for 958 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,840 Speaker 1: Tanya and coming on the podcast in studio. 959 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. It's been enjoy miss Tanya. But 960 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,040 Speaker 2: honored to you know, come here. 961 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,880 Speaker 1: I love you, I love what you do, and I 962 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,280 Speaker 1: feel honored to call you a friend. 963 00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:30,520 Speaker 3: So thanks for being. 964 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:34,400 Speaker 2: I feel the same way Easton, thank you to you