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Speaker 1: The Michael Berry Show. Jim Gaffigan is our guest. How

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Speaker 1: are you, sir, I'm very good.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for having me on your show. You know.

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Speaker 3: I you know, people tell me they're my biggest fan,

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Speaker 3: and I'm just a little fella, so I won't tell

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Speaker 3: you I'm your biggest fan. But I'm your biggest fan.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I go into total fan mode.

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Speaker 1: I actually have a show. We call it The Michael

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Speaker 1: Berry Show.

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Speaker 3: But what I do is is I criticize Obama, and

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Speaker 3: I criticize high taxes, and I criticize attacking countries where

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Speaker 3: we wouldn't want to live. That's the Barry Doctor, and

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Speaker 3: we shouldn't invade a country where we don't want to live.

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Speaker 3: And then I talk about Portlandia because we have an

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Speaker 3: affiliate in Portland.

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Speaker 1: And then we talk.

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Speaker 3: About food, and then we just played Jim Gaffigan clips

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Speaker 3: and that's my show and I make a good living

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Speaker 3: doing that.

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Speaker 2: That's that's right. Yeah, I appreciate the support, that's for sure.

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Speaker 3: Do I owe you any any royalties or anything if

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Speaker 3: I play your because I play one clip that's that's

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Speaker 3: over two minutes long.

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Speaker 1: Is that cool?

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Speaker 2: That's totally fine. Starting spreading the word. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: So you're going to be downtown tonight for two shows?

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Speaker 2: Two shows? Yes, I'm I'm right now. I'm on the

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Speaker 2: bus driving from San Antonio. And if you hear streaming

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Speaker 2: in the background, that's one of my many kids. I

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Speaker 2: have five kids. Great my own nationality.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, are your own basketball team. I love the I

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Speaker 3: love the tweet A couple of days ago with with

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Speaker 3: you and your your ventriloquist out your ventriloquist routine, and

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Speaker 3: you had one of the littlest ones there.

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Speaker 1: So they travel, they travel with you all the time.

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Speaker 2: Well we try to, you know, I kind of avoid,

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Speaker 2: you know, being away from them for too long, and

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Speaker 2: you know, doing shows, you can very easily be gone

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Speaker 2: for a week. And so this is my my daughter's

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Speaker 2: spring break, my oldest, she's in third grade. This is

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Speaker 2: their spring break. Some kids go to Florida. My daughter

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Speaker 2: sleeping on a bus.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but she's sleeping on a bus and seeing

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Speaker 3: the world. And I think that's a pretty cool thing.

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Speaker 3: Jim Graffigan is in Houston two shows tonight. I think

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Speaker 3: there may even still be some tickets left. You talk

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Speaker 3: about bungling something. We got busy last week with being

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Speaker 3: on the road, and I got a request to interview

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Speaker 3: Jim Gaffigan from the show promoter.

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Speaker 1: You don't know any of this stuff, but I'm telling

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Speaker 1: our audience.

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Speaker 3: And I thought it was a week later and didn't

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Speaker 3: act on it, and I was I was very upset

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Speaker 3: when I found out that it was this week and

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Speaker 3: you're coming tonight and I'm going to get to see you.

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Speaker 3: But I was afraid I wouldn't get to talk to

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Speaker 3: you because our listeners absolutely love you.

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Speaker 2: Oh jeez, thanks a lot. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: I have to I have to ask you because I

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Speaker 3: have openly begged Portlandy to put me in an episode

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Speaker 3: because we're on in Portland.

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Speaker 1: How did that happen?

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Speaker 2: Well, that was I you know, I've met for a

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Speaker 2: couple of times and you know in the comedy world

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Speaker 2: in New York, and I just got offered the role.

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Speaker 2: And it was amazing. I mean, yeah, people always state

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Speaker 2: that they worked on shows and it's an amazing experience,

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Speaker 2: but it was. It was pretty spectacular. They They're like

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Speaker 2: an amazing scene there, you know, Carry and Fred and

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Speaker 2: you know, we had a script and they were like, no,

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Speaker 2: let's just improvise it. It's so fun. You know, it's

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Speaker 2: like you're literally just paid to play.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you were in a food truck.

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Speaker 2: I was in a food truck and you know a

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Speaker 2: guy who did Stew's Stew's and it was just it

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Speaker 2: was just kind of weird and fun. And you know,

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Speaker 2: it's just you know, the food trucks are.

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Speaker 3: Big and port with Yes they are, Yes they are.

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Speaker 2: There's food.

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Speaker 1: I go, where is home for you?

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Speaker 2: I live in New York City, but I'm originally from Indiana.

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Speaker 3: I know, I know because you do the Mexican food

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Speaker 3: is all the same thing. Well, I'm going to tell you, Jim,

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Speaker 3: Jim Gaffigan's our guest, Welcome to Texas, and it's not

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Speaker 3: really Mexican food. It's text mex And there's a there's

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Speaker 3: a writer named Rob Walsh who's written a book about

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Speaker 3: the fact that the oldest extant are continuously existing food

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Speaker 3: regional food in America is tex mex and the most definable.

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Speaker 3: And so what most people what you call Mexican food

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Speaker 3: when you say it's all the same in that bit

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Speaker 3: you do, is actually tex mex And you are, you

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Speaker 3: are in the heart of it here in San and

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Speaker 3: I know you were just in San Antonio yesterday.

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Speaker 2: Yes, how was that?

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Speaker 1: Where'd you eat me Tira?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? We were at me Tierra And but this is

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Speaker 2: I'm just seeing so much because we started in the South.

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Speaker 2: We started in Richmond, and Gale went to Raleigh and

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Speaker 2: Chattanooga and Birmingham. And I've had a biscuits and gravy

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Speaker 2: for like five days straight. I haven't had a bottle

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Speaker 2: movement in like six days.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: My biscuits and gravy are just you know. I think

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Speaker 2: it would be healthier to eat cement for breakfast.

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Speaker 1: But I think I think you're right.

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Speaker 3: My wife is from India and she says, you know this,

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Speaker 3: this this Southern food. We went on a tour last

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Speaker 3: week of Baton Rouge, Birmingham, and Nashville, and she said, look.

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Speaker 1: Jim, can you hold this in just a moment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all right.

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Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you all, folks.

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Speaker 3: I don't get tongue tied very often, but I'm a

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Speaker 3: huge fan of Jim Gaffigan, the funniest man in America,

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Speaker 3: and he never needs to cuss and he mostly talks

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Speaker 3: about food.

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Speaker 1: How can you not love this guy?

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Speaker 3: Jim Gaffigan is our guest, and all my buddies have

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Speaker 3: texted me to say that I'm embarrassing me with my

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Speaker 3: fan crush on Jim Gaffigan.

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Speaker 1: I don't normally behave that way, but you.

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Speaker 3: Have to understand, I've literally spent hours on end listening

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Speaker 3: to this man's comedy over and over again because the delivery,

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Speaker 3: the inside, I think. I think technically speaking, he is

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Speaker 3: the funniest man in America today. The technique that he

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Speaker 3: uses one of my favorite bits of his.

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Speaker 4: My favorite food is Mexican food. I used to be

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Speaker 4: a waiter in a Mexican restaurant in Indiana, and that's

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Speaker 4: where you go for Mexican. Mexican food's great, but it's

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Speaker 4: essentially all this team ingredients, So you'd always have to

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Speaker 4: as a weight. You'd have to deal with these stupid questions.

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Speaker 4: People be like, what is not chows not chos tortilla

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Speaker 4: a cheese meter vegetables.

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Speaker 1: Oh, and then what is it brito.

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Speaker 4: Tortilla cheese meter vegetables.

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Speaker 3: But not if you're in Texas, Sir, Jim Gaffigan is

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Speaker 3: playing tonight. Before we talk about your your shows tonight,

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Speaker 3: you have a new book out, Dad Is Fat. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's coming out in May, okay, come out.

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Speaker 1: And you were telling me off air that your son

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Speaker 1: wrote that line.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. See it was the first you know, you know,

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Speaker 2: it was four or five learning to write and you

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Speaker 2: start with simple words and his first complete sentence was it's.

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Speaker 3: Fat and uh And these are you were saying, these

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Speaker 3: are essays that you and your wife write about going

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Speaker 3: out to dinner with the kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just the whole timey experience. You know. My

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Speaker 2: stand up show is you know, I kind of make

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Speaker 2: a point of making it a peal to everyone so

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Speaker 2: that you know, if you're uh, you know, at twenty

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Speaker 2: year old, you know, you don't hear it just about

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Speaker 2: someone talking about their kids. So a lot of the

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Speaker 2: kids material. But you know, I've found that at worked

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Speaker 2: on Twitter and then just decided to put it in

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Speaker 2: this book and screaming in the background, Well that's okay.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's a cool thing that you

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Speaker 3: take your kids on the road with you. You have

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Speaker 3: two shows tonight. It's downtown at whatever used to be.

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Speaker 3: Do you know what that's called now?

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Speaker 1: It used to be the Verizon. I'll find out and

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Speaker 1: post it.

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Speaker 2: I think it's I only remember it called the Verizon too.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 3: I think they've changed the name, and I forget what

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Speaker 3: it's called. But I'll find out and I'll post information.

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Speaker 2: You know what. It's the by you?

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Speaker 1: Oh, the by you? Yes, indeed, yes, indeed?

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Speaker 3: Now is is this stuff that comes out of dad?

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Speaker 1: Is fat?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 1: What? What's the routine tonight? What kind of I mean,

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Speaker 1: obviously you gonna talk food?

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Speaker 2: I hope, yeah, there's definitely some food stuff, but you know, gosh,

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Speaker 2: tonight there's a lot of different stuff. I mean, co

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Speaker 2: of it's just uh, you know, just eating, you know,

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Speaker 2: I mean I try and not talk about it eating,

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Speaker 2: but it just keeps going back to that and a

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Speaker 2: lot of silly observation and stuff, and it's chaos. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm a lazy man, so I romanticize laziness.

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Speaker 1: Well, yes you do. I mean, you make me proud

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Speaker 1: to be lazy, do you. Jim Gaffigan is our guest.

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Speaker 3: And then I guess from from tonight you're off to

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Speaker 3: Dallas and then.

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Speaker 2: Where Dallas and then Tulisa and Oklahoma City and Wichita

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Speaker 2: and Paducah and Evansville. Little rocks in there.

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Speaker 1: Too, and no wonder you like on the road again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and do people bring you food when you're on

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Speaker 3: tour because they know you love food sometimes?

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Speaker 2: You know. My joke is always like this is sold

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Speaker 2: to poison, right. But there's a lot of uh, you know,

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of I signed hot pocket boxes and

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Speaker 2: sign some bacon and stuff like that. But it's you know,

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Speaker 2: some of it is just fun on Twitter. You know,

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Speaker 2: like if I talk about McDonald's or if I talk

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Speaker 2: about uh biscus and Brady after the show, people like,

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Speaker 2: I'm eating biscuits and gravy around that waffle house stuff

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 1: What's the weirdest thing that anyone's ever brought you?

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Speaker 2: Geez? You know, I've gotten a bowling tin that had

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Speaker 2: my head tainted. Honest, I've gotten a wood carving of

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Speaker 2: my head, which is, uh, you know, it's pretty easy

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Speaker 2: to draw my head because it's kind of brown, so uh,

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Speaker 2: I would say, I don't know, it's just you know,

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Speaker 2: people have had signed bibles. It's just like I'm going

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Speaker 2: to hell if I find this Bible. Like it's kind

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Speaker 2: of funny, you you know.

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Speaker 3: One of the cool Jim Gaffigan is our guests. One

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Speaker 3: of the neatest things about Twitter is it cuts out

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Speaker 3: the layers between you and your fan and we get

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Speaker 3: to hear from you directly, and you've responded to a

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Speaker 3: lot of people. How much how much time do you

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Speaker 3: spend a day on Twitter? And I have to commend you.

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Speaker 3: I think you and whatever you think of Damee Cook,

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Speaker 3: I think he's the other one that really uses Twitter

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Speaker 3: to communicate with his fans better than most.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, Twitter is amazing. I think Twitter's ended

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Speaker 2: up being a pretty informative tool. You know, so if

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Speaker 2: you just have a simple comic idea, you can put

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Speaker 2: it out there. But I have a chunk on fortune

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Speaker 2: cookies that was totally started by a tweet that I

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Speaker 2: came up with, which was should in every the fortune

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Speaker 2: and every fortune cookie should be you are about to

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Speaker 2: eat a skill cookie. And so you know, we came

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Speaker 2: up with that tweet and then you know, my wife

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Speaker 2: and I we ended up writing the whole kind of

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Speaker 2: a couple of minutes on fortune cookies. And so Twitter

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Speaker 2: is it's a great tool. It's kind of like a

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Speaker 2: little notepad of of comic ideas. And like I said,

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Speaker 2: that's where a lot of the ideas for the book

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Speaker 2: that is that it's just these observations of being with

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Speaker 2: your kids. You know, I think I to the couple

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Speaker 2: of days ago this tweet about I just took my

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Speaker 2: five kids out to lunch in the restaurant for the

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Speaker 2: last time. Yeah, it's just you know, these these moments

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Speaker 2: hit you and you get and is this just this

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Speaker 2: great tool that you can just put it out there?

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Speaker 3: How much Jim Gaffigan is our guest. He's in town tonight,

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Speaker 3: downtown and I'll post that information as soon as we

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Speaker 3: get uh information on the buyou and where you can

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Speaker 3: buy tickets. And I think there are two shows tonight,

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Speaker 3: so go down. Funniest man in America. How much does

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Speaker 3: your does it bother your wife? I mean, obviously she's

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Speaker 3: in this with you, y'all are raising the kids together.

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Speaker 3: She's traveling with you, and she tweets, But does she

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Speaker 3: ever get do you ever cross the line when you

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Speaker 3: say something about her and she says whoa, whoa, whoa

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Speaker 3: that you shouldn't have revealed that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, there's definitely I mean, you know, we're we're

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Speaker 2: writing team too, so there's nothing that I would come

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Speaker 2: up with. I mean there's definitely you know, we debate

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Speaker 2: kind of should we put a photo of our kids

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Speaker 2: on the internet and stuff like that. But you know,

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Speaker 2: we write everything together, so usually there's U and we

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Speaker 2: have a very similar sensibility, so there's nothing that I

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Speaker 2: would cross the line. And I think that we both

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Speaker 2: agree that it's a positive representation of our marriage. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I am a happily married guy, so it's my material.

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Speaker 2: It's not about you know, this guy being married to

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Speaker 2: you know, a difficult person.

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Speaker 3: Yeah so, And I think that's part of the fun

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Speaker 3: of what you do is that you don't need to cuss,

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Speaker 3: you don't run down your wife, You're proud of your family,

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Speaker 3: and you do it in an interesting way, and it's

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Speaker 3: I think at the at the end of the day,

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Speaker 3: you may glamorize laziness and make us feel better about ourselves,

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Speaker 3: but it's nice to see that. It's nice to see

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Speaker 3: somebody that's positive. If you hadn't been a comedian, what

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Speaker 3: would you have done.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, maybe there's something about you know,

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Speaker 2: I've talked to chefs, and there's something about the prap

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Speaker 2: then and that being able to create Maybe maybe a

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Speaker 2: chef for a Clarker, I don't know. Maybe just I

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Speaker 2: think living at a mobile home.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, all right, Jim Gaffigan, last question, I

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Speaker 3: know you need to go. He's going to be downtown tonight.

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Speaker 3: I'll post on the blog Michael Berry dot i heeart

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Speaker 3: dot com, on the Facebook page and on Twitter where

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Speaker 3: you can go to get tickets. There's still some available.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to force you to answer this question with

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Speaker 3: one answer. Your favorite comedian living or dead.

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Speaker 2: I would say, uh, Jonathan Winters.

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Speaker 1: Wow, you went old school. Yeah. Put a press release out,

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Speaker 1: Kenny that could make national.

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Speaker 5: News very nice.

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Speaker 2: I have amazing you know, Jim?

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Speaker 1: Can I be a total d bag and ask you

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Speaker 1: one favor?

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Speaker 2: Sure?

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Speaker 1: Can you say, if.

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Speaker 3: You're listening to the Michael Berry Show and we love

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Speaker 3: hot pockets?

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Speaker 2: You got it?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead?

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Speaker 2: You're listening to Michael Berry Show and we love hot pockets?

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Speaker 2: I mean he does. I don't body.

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Speaker 3: I love that bit. Still my all time favorite. See

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Speaker 3: you tonight, sir, looking forward to it. All right, Thank you,

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Speaker 3: Jim Gaffigan called in. Thank you Barry Brigade for assaulting

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Speaker 3: him with your tweets, and thank you to the mutual

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Speaker 3: friend we have in common who put him up to

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Speaker 3: call in today.

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Speaker 5: If you like the Michael Berry Show and Podcast. Please

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Speaker 5: tell one friend, and if you're so inclined, write a

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Speaker 5: nice review of our podcast. Comments, suggestions, questions, and interest

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Speaker 5: in being a corporate sponsor and partner can be communicated

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Speaker 5: directly to the show at our email address, Michael at

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Speaker 5: Michael Berryshow dot com, or simply by clicking on our website,

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Speaker 5: Michael Berryshow dot com. The Michael Berry Show and Podcast

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Speaker 5: is produced by Ramon Roeblis. The King of the Executive

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Speaker 5: producer is Chad Knakanishi. Jim Mudd is the creative director.

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Speaker 5: Voices Jingles, Tomfoolery and Shenanigans are provided by Chance McLean.

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Speaker 5: Director of Research is Sandy Peterson. Emily Bull is our

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Speaker 5: assistant listener and super fan. Contributions are appreciated and often

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Speaker 5: incorporated into our production. Where possible, we give credit, Where not,

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Speaker 5: we take all the credit for ourselves. God bless the

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Speaker 5: memory of Rush Limbaugh. Long live Elvis, be a simple

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Speaker 5: man like Leonard Skinnard told you, and God bless America. Finally,

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Speaker 5: if you know a veteran suffering from PTSD, call Camp

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Speaker 5: Hope at eight seven seven seven one seven PTSD and

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Speaker 5: a combat veteran will answer the phone to provide free

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Speaker 5: counseling