1 00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:20,996 Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hey there, Maya here. I've been working on a 2 00:00:21,036 --> 00:00:26,236 Speaker 1: special collaboration with the podcast Radioheadspace from Headspace Studios. Every 3 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,316 Speaker 1: day this week, I'll be guest hosting their episodes. We 4 00:00:29,436 --> 00:00:32,276 Speaker 1: discuss everything from how to pivot gracefully when life gets 5 00:00:32,316 --> 00:00:34,836 Speaker 1: in the way of our best laid plans, to how 6 00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:36,956 Speaker 1: to stay motivated when we're trying to reach our long 7 00:00:37,076 --> 00:00:39,756 Speaker 1: term goals. It was a chance for me to reflect 8 00:00:39,796 --> 00:00:41,836 Speaker 1: on what I've learned about change over the course of 9 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,796 Speaker 1: my life career, and while making a slight change of plans. 10 00:00:45,596 --> 00:00:47,836 Speaker 1: I'm going to share the first episode in the sequence 11 00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:50,076 Speaker 1: with you now. I hope you enjoy it and you 12 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,796 Speaker 1: can hear the rest of the week's episodes on Radioheadspace 13 00:00:52,836 --> 00:01:11,356 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. Sat Hi, I'm doctor Maya Schunker, 14 00:01:11,516 --> 00:01:15,196 Speaker 1: your guest host for the week. Welcome to Radioheadspace and 15 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:18,676 Speaker 1: to Tuesday. Today we're going to talk about the impact 16 00:01:18,716 --> 00:01:22,116 Speaker 1: big changes can have on our self identity. We'll explore 17 00:01:22,156 --> 00:01:24,676 Speaker 1: why we're so attached to the labels we give ourselves 18 00:01:24,756 --> 00:01:27,596 Speaker 1: and that other people give us, and how seeing our 19 00:01:27,636 --> 00:01:30,956 Speaker 1: identities is more malleable can help us weather the storms 20 00:01:30,996 --> 00:01:36,876 Speaker 1: that life inevitably sends our way. My grandmother had played 21 00:01:36,876 --> 00:01:39,996 Speaker 1: the violin in an Indian classical tradition growing up, and 22 00:01:40,036 --> 00:01:43,356 Speaker 1: when my mom immigrated to this country in the nineteen seventies, 23 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:46,596 Speaker 1: she brought my grandmother's violin with her, and I remember 24 00:01:46,596 --> 00:01:48,316 Speaker 1: one day she went up to the attic and brought 25 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,716 Speaker 1: the violin down, and she had only meant to show 26 00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:54,036 Speaker 1: it to me, but I immediately took to the instrument 27 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,916 Speaker 1: and asked my mom for a pint sized violin of 28 00:01:56,956 --> 00:02:00,276 Speaker 1: my own. I immediately was on the fast track to 29 00:02:00,356 --> 00:02:03,596 Speaker 1: trying to become a concert violinist. When I was nine 30 00:02:03,676 --> 00:02:06,796 Speaker 1: years old, I started studying at the Juilliard School of 31 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,756 Speaker 1: Music in New York, and when I was a teenager, 32 00:02:09,476 --> 00:02:11,916 Speaker 1: the violinist It's a Perlman asked me to be his 33 00:02:11,996 --> 00:02:18,076 Speaker 1: private violin student. And then one day my dreams ended 34 00:02:18,116 --> 00:02:22,636 Speaker 1: in a moment, I had a sudden hand injury, after 35 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,436 Speaker 1: which doctors told me I could never play the violin again. 36 00:02:26,916 --> 00:02:30,076 Speaker 1: And what I realized in that moment was that my 37 00:02:30,236 --> 00:02:34,236 Speaker 1: identity was tethered to the violin, to being a violinist, 38 00:02:34,876 --> 00:02:37,356 Speaker 1: and so when I lost the ability to play, I 39 00:02:37,396 --> 00:02:41,076 Speaker 1: really do feel like I lost a considerable part of myself, 40 00:02:41,196 --> 00:02:44,316 Speaker 1: and I wasn't really sure how to think about who 41 00:02:44,356 --> 00:02:50,436 Speaker 1: I was or who I could be without it. There's 42 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,876 Speaker 1: a concept in cognitive science called identity foreclosure, and it 43 00:02:53,916 --> 00:02:56,436 Speaker 1: refers to the fact that we can lock ourselves into 44 00:02:56,476 --> 00:03:00,356 Speaker 1: a very specific identity in adolescence, but that actually can 45 00:03:00,396 --> 00:03:04,836 Speaker 1: persist well into adulthood. And looking back, I absolutely fell 46 00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:09,596 Speaker 1: prey to identity foreclosure. I was first and foremost a violinist, 47 00:03:10,556 --> 00:03:12,436 Speaker 1: and I think one thing that helped guide me through 48 00:03:12,436 --> 00:03:16,396 Speaker 1: that transition was to start to see my identity as 49 00:03:16,516 --> 00:03:20,196 Speaker 1: more malleable, as something that could change over time. And 50 00:03:20,236 --> 00:03:22,796 Speaker 1: I think my best friend along the way was having 51 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:27,076 Speaker 1: an open mind, being exploratory, talking to other people about 52 00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:30,556 Speaker 1: what their passions were, just trying to see a world 53 00:03:30,636 --> 00:03:33,396 Speaker 1: outside of the violin which had been my world for 54 00:03:33,396 --> 00:03:38,916 Speaker 1: so long. One lesson that I learned from my own 55 00:03:38,916 --> 00:03:42,316 Speaker 1: experience losing something that I loved that I want to 56 00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:45,876 Speaker 1: share with listeners is to try and think about the 57 00:03:45,916 --> 00:03:49,276 Speaker 1: features of the pursuit that you like and to attach 58 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:52,036 Speaker 1: your identity to those features rather than the thing itself. 59 00:03:52,836 --> 00:03:54,356 Speaker 1: So when I reflect on what it is that I 60 00:03:54,356 --> 00:03:57,916 Speaker 1: loved about playing the violin. I realized that, ultimately was 61 00:03:57,996 --> 00:04:00,876 Speaker 1: human connection that really got me to light up. I 62 00:04:00,876 --> 00:04:03,316 Speaker 1: could go on a stage in front of thousands of 63 00:04:03,356 --> 00:04:06,196 Speaker 1: strangers and I had the ability to make them feel 64 00:04:06,236 --> 00:04:09,396 Speaker 1: something they had maybe never felt before, and that was 65 00:04:09,436 --> 00:04:12,516 Speaker 1: such a powerful feeling. It's when I realized, Okay, it's 66 00:04:12,596 --> 00:04:16,236 Speaker 1: human connection that really makes me tick. I was able 67 00:04:16,276 --> 00:04:19,076 Speaker 1: to find that trait in other pursuits, even when I 68 00:04:19,116 --> 00:04:22,316 Speaker 1: lost the ability to play the violin. I found it 69 00:04:22,356 --> 00:04:25,236 Speaker 1: as a cognitive scientist and studying the science of what 70 00:04:25,276 --> 00:04:27,596 Speaker 1: it means to be human and to connect with other people. 71 00:04:28,156 --> 00:04:30,196 Speaker 1: And I found it with my podcast, A Slight Change 72 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:33,836 Speaker 1: of Plans, which is all about forging deep human connections 73 00:04:33,836 --> 00:04:36,916 Speaker 1: with guests that I invite onto my show. So I 74 00:04:36,916 --> 00:04:40,756 Speaker 1: would urge listeners who are going through an unexpected change 75 00:04:40,876 --> 00:04:44,596 Speaker 1: or a turbulent time to ask themselves, what is my 76 00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:47,876 Speaker 1: through line If I strip all of the activities that 77 00:04:47,916 --> 00:04:50,996 Speaker 1: I engage with down to their core, what still exists 78 00:04:51,316 --> 00:04:55,276 Speaker 1: and try to find that trait in as much of 79 00:04:55,276 --> 00:05:00,316 Speaker 1: what you do as you can. That's all for today. 80 00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:03,276 Speaker 1: Next time, I'll talk more about what happened after my 81 00:05:03,356 --> 00:05:06,396 Speaker 1: career as a violinist ended and how we can forge 82 00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,756 Speaker 1: new paths when life just doesn't turn out the way 83 00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:11,596 Speaker 1: we hope it would. Thanks for listening, I'll see you 84 00:05:11,596 --> 00:05:12,236 Speaker 1: back here soon.