1 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Get It to Dutch, a 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: screenwriters podcast. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 2: I'm Mark, I'm Greg, I'm Brendan, and we are a. 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: Team of Hollywood screenwriters who meet every week to read 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: from an original screenplay that one of us is written. 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: We give notes and rank the scripts, and at the 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,639 Speaker 1: end of the season, we're going to pitch the best 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: script of all to big time Hollywood producer Dutch Huxley. 9 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: But before we get into this episode script, We've got 10 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: a little new business to take care of. 11 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 2: Brendan. 12 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: I see that you're wearing a collared shirt, so I'm 13 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,480 Speaker 1: guessing it's laundry day. 14 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 3: Nope. 15 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 2: Honestly, for the first time and a year and a half, 16 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,880 Speaker 2: I have an audition today, so I am hard out 17 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 2: at Well. 18 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, people might not know Brendan is a writer, performer, 19 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 3: a multi hyphen jeff. 20 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 2: Of all trades, but not directing because I'm nervous healing 21 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 2: in people. But I have an audition today for a 22 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 2: little show called Big Wonder. What is Big Wonder? Big 23 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 2: Wonder is the reboot of the classic eighty show Small Wonder. 24 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 2: It turns out Small Wonder's all grown up now and 25 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 2: I am auditioning to play her husband. George, I'm married 26 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: to Big Wonder. We have three kids. I'm very excited 27 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 2: for this. 28 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: Wait. Small Wonder was about a robot. 29 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, an android girl, an android that was disguised as 30 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 2: a little girl. 31 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 3: And so your character is married to the now grown 32 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 3: up robot. 33 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,320 Speaker 2: She's now a grown up android. 34 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: Their husband grow Yeah, how do they grow her? 35 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 2: I guess like the dad from the old series made 36 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 2: her big or something. I really didn't get into that. 37 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 2: It kind of just launches into she's Big Wonder. The 38 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 2: actress is the same, so everyone's just gonna kind of 39 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 2: whoo because they recognize her but as older. And then 40 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,680 Speaker 2: I'm her husband and we live in the suburbs. We 41 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 2: got three great kids. Uh, so you had sex with 42 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 2: a robot? Well, George, did you know? 43 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: I didn't? 44 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 4: Right? 45 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: Yeah? And yeah, and so she can get pregnant yea. 46 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 2: So it turns out there's so there's two regular kids 47 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 2: and then there's one like real body. The baby is 48 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 2: like a funny robot android kids. So you know all 49 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 2: the crazy things that come along with a baby on 50 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 2: a TV show, you know, the baby like burps and 51 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 2: a wall falls. It's so powerful. 52 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: The robot gave birth to a human baby and a 53 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 1: robot android half human baby. 54 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 2: Do they explain it or they blow past it? And 55 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 2: they kind of blow past it. The script I got 56 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 2: never really good. It just goes hard comedy right away. 57 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 3: Wow, Well congrats. 58 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm excited for it. I feel like when you 59 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:32,079 Speaker 2: read the description, it's me, you know, Cheerry, Portly, funny, doufist, 60 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 2: you know. 61 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:39,119 Speaker 1: George fat. George doesn't say fence is portly. Whatever it says. Congrats, 62 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: I hope you nail it. I'm very excited. It's been 63 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: a while. It's good to be back on the boards. Well, 64 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: my new business is that Greg is overstaying is welcome. 65 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: He's been on my couch for four and a half weeks. 66 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: He hasn't bought grocers once, he's not paying rent. He 67 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: takes my stuff and then he trashes the place, both 68 00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: verbally and physically. 69 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 3: I love these jokes. 70 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: Gets pissing me off. So that's my new business, same 71 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:05,239 Speaker 1: as the old business. 72 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 3: It's been fun and we're having a good time over here. 73 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 2: And honestly, and here, I can't tell if Mark is 74 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:11,079 Speaker 2: mad or not. 75 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 3: It's truly been a journey just trying to figure out 76 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 3: how to get this place in a state of feng shui. 77 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 3: That doesn't make you a trip When you try to 78 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 3: go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, 79 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 3: which is a cross Mark's room. 80 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 2: You broke two tables. 81 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 3: I broke two toes. So there's that. But as a guest, 82 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 3: it's fun to be bumping up talking about scripts, and honestly. 83 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: Not with me. You've been calling your old college buddies. 84 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: If you were talking to me about scripts, I would 85 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: think that would be kind of fun. But that's not happening. 86 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 3: Speaking of college buddies, as anybody went a little wine. 87 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: That, by the way, is my wine, and so no, 88 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: you can't have any mark. 89 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 2: Do you have any pepsi? 90 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: It's already opened drinks straight up on it's you opened it? Yes, dude, 91 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: that that's from my wedding you were married. Yeah. Once. 92 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 2: Where's the missus for a summer? 93 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 3: She's not around here. Look at this place. 94 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: No spared to these books, she went, Miss Gregg. He 95 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: only has our c Also that RC I'm saving. I 96 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: got it off of eBay. It's a collector's item, so 97 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: that I'm gonna sell it tastes like a collector. 98 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 2: Did you open it? Yeah? Man? I can't have straight 99 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 2: up wine. 100 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 3: Have you ever had a whipsie? 101 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 2: You can't sell a five pack it's wine and pepsi. 102 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 2: It's delicious. 103 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: I don't want a whipsie. 104 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 2: Well here, splash, I'm over here. 105 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: Get there, all right? So all right, I'm not going 106 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: to let this get me down. 107 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 3: Notes of a marriage gone by? 108 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, rip, what happened? 109 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:36,599 Speaker 1: She's she could be really Yeah, she jumped off a 110 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: cruise ship and we don't know where she is, at 111 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 1: least we didn't for a while. People say they saw 112 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: she's like Bigfoot. Now I don't know if she's real. 113 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 2: It's the danger of these cruise ships. Man, put you 114 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 2: out in the ocean. How are you not going to 115 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,840 Speaker 2: try to jump in there? It looks great, it's a 116 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 2: good movie. It was on our honeymoon. 117 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,239 Speaker 3: Really, cruise Jumper. That's a hell of a title. 118 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 2: Oh that's good. 119 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: Write that down. Like I said, not going to let 120 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 1: this get me down, because I have ual new business 121 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,559 Speaker 1: that is very real and very cool and very fun. 122 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 2: I edit the angry part. 123 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: I know what was well because I said I don't 124 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,799 Speaker 1: want to let it get me down. Happy voice, happy, 125 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: happy voice. Okay, what's the new am? Mark, looks like 126 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: you've got some new business. I do have some new business. 127 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: Dutch Huxley, producer extraordinaire, the namesake of this podcast, Get 128 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: It to Dutch is looking for an Oscar winning picture. 129 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: Oh oh, so that is great news, because this week 130 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 1: it is my week to read select scenes from a movie, 131 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 1: and I have written a wonderful Oscar bait script. I'm 132 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: very excited. I cannot wait for this. This week's episode is. 133 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 2: High quality paper bud. 134 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, I put it on card stock. 135 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 3: Oh that's why it's a fake. I your news, Go ahead. 136 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 3: I then let's bring up in the room. I hate 137 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 3: to bring down the room, but I do know two things. One, 138 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 3: Dutch is not looking for an Oscar. 139 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: The hell he's not, Well, that's smart authority. 140 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 3: The reason he's not looking is because he died. 141 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,360 Speaker 2: Ha ha ha ha ha. 142 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 3: Mark. I know I said it with a smile on 143 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 3: my face, but that's only because you said we got 144 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 3: to keep it positive, and I'm trying to keep it positive. 145 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,799 Speaker 3: But Dutch died this morning. It's into trades. Oh boy, okay, cool, cool, Sure, 146 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 3: this is the cover of Verse. 147 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: If you don't want to do new business, let's move on. 148 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 3: It's a cover of Variety. 149 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 2: Man Twitter, Dutch Huxley is dead. 150 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 3: What thread says Dutch Huxley is dead, drown in his pool. 151 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 2: What Yeah with Social says he's going to be Donald 152 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 2: Trump's vice president. 153 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 3: So he's clearly dead. I'm sorry, man, I hate to 154 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,359 Speaker 3: bring this news into here because you know, I know, 155 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 3: we already registered the website for the podcast and we 156 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 3: can't change it. 157 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 2: Now we do the podcast. Is it over? 158 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 3: No, we keep doing the podcast. We just pivot. We 159 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 3: Hollywood pivot. This is what you got to do when 160 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 3: something bad happens. 161 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 1: This cannot be true. Pivot. 162 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,280 Speaker 2: That's that it's good for the industry. Minute that's a 163 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:03,280 Speaker 2: good term. Pivot. 164 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: Well, hold on, now, this may not actually be true. 165 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: It's true, it may not be true. Mark, you cannot 166 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: believe everything you read in the trades. They may not know. 167 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 2: TMZ has a drone shot of them dragging him out 168 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 2: of the house, and I mean dragon. 169 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: If that's him, he might be drunk. We don't know. 170 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: We don't know. Let's pleaause and go full steam ahead 171 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: with what we were going to do this week, and 172 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: I will let you know when I hear about Dutch 173 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: Mark and it will be positive news. 174 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 3: Stop trying to change the recent past. It's past. And look, 175 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 3: I'm pointing us to the future. 176 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 2: All right. 177 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 3: The past cannot be changed. The future is not known. 178 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 3: What we do know is right now, and right now 179 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 3: I can tell you all that I have a connection 180 00:07:55,760 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 3: to his son, Duck Huxley, who is the heir apparent 181 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 3: to the Huxley producing banner. He's going to hang a shingle. 182 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 2: Okay, this is great news. The podcast is saved. 183 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: First and first and foremost. If Dutch were actually dead, 184 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: he and his son are not speaking, so there's no 185 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: way in heck the Duck is going to take over 186 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: the empire. 187 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 3: Well, they're definitely not speaking now. 188 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, true. 189 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 2: But also I think Namesake carries more weight than anything. 190 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 2: He's the first boy, he. 191 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 3: Gets the gets, he gets the fortune. And I happen 192 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 3: to know Duck quite well and we're very good friends. 193 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,079 Speaker 3: And look this morning he tweeted looking for a big 194 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 3: fun movie like Adam Sandler used to make. 195 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, two minutes after he said rip a fat fuck Jesus. 196 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 2: That kind of confirms his dad is did h. 197 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: I don't see this as good news. 198 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 2: But look at that, it's right there. 199 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: Well, we don't have Madam Sandler. I have Oscar bait. 200 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 4: Mark. 201 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 3: Last night, when I was moving the Papa is on 202 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 3: to this side of the room, which it works way 203 00:08:59,280 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 3: better over. 204 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 2: His great it really opens the space up. 205 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 3: Look what I found an old screenplay that you wrote. 206 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: What give me this? This thing? No, no, no, no no. 207 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: I wrote this twenty five years ago in college. This 208 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: is from nineteen ninety eight. 209 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 5: Mark, you wanted him to talk to you. Dutch's ghost 210 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 5: is screaming at you. Look at this, Adam Sandler's Shit 211 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 5: for Brains. What an incredible title. No, this is perfect. 212 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: No, I don't want to do that. I don't want 213 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: to do it. 214 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,239 Speaker 2: We have to. This is in garbage. 215 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: This is a terrible script. It was bad for Adam Sandler. 216 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: Then I wrote a script called The Secrets We Keep, 217 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,440 Speaker 1: which is a Dutch producing vehicle. 218 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 2: Dutch is gone, man, Duck is here. Duck wants an 219 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: Adam Sandler picture, and here we are. Let's have just 220 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 2: Sandler shit for brains. 221 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 3: Let's just read it, because honestly, the Duck's mouth is 222 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 3: hanging open and he wants some hot break. 223 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: I mean, do you see this. I call the title 224 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: of the movie is Adam Sandler's Shit for Brains. I 225 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: knew nothing about screenwriting back then. 226 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 3: I think we should try it. 227 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:04,319 Speaker 2: Let's read it. I mean, I'll try it. We can 228 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 2: do that, Okay, okay, great? Oh man, I cannot wait 229 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 2: for this. 230 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: You have three copies of the scripts. Where did you 231 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 1: get three copies of the scripts? 232 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 4: Well? 233 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 3: I ran out this morning and. 234 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 2: This morning how long did you know? 235 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 1: Dutch? 236 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 2: Was it gone? 237 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 3: I found out around eight? Then I found the script 238 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 3: and then I remember when I asked you for your 239 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 3: debit card. Oh do you know what? I didn't ask you, 240 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 3: but I got your debit card, and then I got 241 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 3: the copies made because that is I know my pin 242 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 3: fun fact. You don't need a pin at Kinko's anymore. 243 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you don't need I'd let anywhere. 244 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 3: At least out with LeVar, he said, don't worry about it. 245 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: It all hinges on it being Adam Sandler, who I 246 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: don't even think we could get. But sure, let's read 247 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: Adam Sandler's Ship for Brains. Great, I mean title alone, 248 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,319 Speaker 1: slam dunk. 249 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,960 Speaker 2: Let's go right from the top. Does that sound good? 250 00:10:58,960 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 6: Mark? 251 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? Well yeah, sure, all right, here we go. 252 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 3: Extension, extension, extension, Mark, you wrote extension here? Did you 253 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 3: think ext meant? 254 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: I guess like I said, Man, it's twenty five years old. 255 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: I didn't know anything about screenwriting. So whatever you find 256 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: in here is my work from twenty five years a 257 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: generation ago. 258 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 2: Apologies. 259 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: In advance. 260 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 2: Exterior Beautiful suburban street day. The camera zooms up a 261 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 2: charming road. This is any town, USA. Beautiful houses. We 262 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: stop on a white house that is a smaller exact 263 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 2: replica of the real white house. Interior small replica white 264 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 2: House continuous. It's a children's birthday party all Star by 265 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 2: smash Mouth blast out from a CD player. A banner 266 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,679 Speaker 2: Reid's Happy Birthday. Nelson children run about while their parents 267 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 2: laugh and drink. Some of them swing dance in gap 268 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 2: Khakis squirrel Nut Zippers plays from another CD player. The 269 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 2: camera moves through the house and into a room that 270 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 2: is the exact replica of the Oval office. Sandler as 271 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 2: Whips Martington is there and his advisor, Gladstone Gladdy Horsecock 272 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 2: played by Rob Schneider doing a funny Mexican accent stand 273 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 2: in the room. Also in the room is Susan Whip's wife. 274 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 2: She can be nice, but a real fire breather. If 275 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 2: you make her mad. Think Carmen Electra and Glasses or 276 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 2: the total opposite, Jenny McCarthy in Glasses. 277 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:21,319 Speaker 3: I'll read Whip's wife. 278 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,680 Speaker 2: And it looks like I am reading for Gladdie. But Mark, 279 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 2: I don't think I should. 280 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: Do the Mexican accent. Yeah, please don't. 281 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 2: Yes had a respect for Rob Schneider, who will murder it. Everyone. 282 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,319 Speaker 2: Just think about how funny this will be coming out 283 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 2: of Rob Sneider's mouth with the appropriate accent. Your numbers 284 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 2: are down all across the board, Whip. People love your policies, they. 285 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 3: Just don't find you likable. New CNN pole says you're 286 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 3: the most likely candidate to ever be assassinated. 287 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,320 Speaker 1: How the hell is that a pole? They can't say that. 288 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 2: The poles also say that your opponent, Uncle Maynard Jackson 289 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 2: white Man, is the candidate everyone would most like to 290 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 2: party with. 291 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 3: And four out of five married men said they let 292 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 3: white men plow their wife. 293 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 2: You're just too brainy, Whip. White Man's a pig, but 294 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 2: America loves him because he talks like them. 295 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,719 Speaker 1: I never thought I'd live in a world where being 296 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 1: brainy is bad. White Man is a shit for brains? 297 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: Is that what America wants? 298 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 2: Whip Son Nelson think the human head kid from Jerry 299 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 2: Maguire runs in with a Rubik's Cube. 300 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 3: There's a note in the margin here. It says, what's 301 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 3: that kid's name? Idea for Internet? And then it says, 302 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:29,359 Speaker 3: idea for a worldwide website called internet actor named info Repository. 303 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:30,719 Speaker 3: How do I buy this? 304 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 2: Oh? 305 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 3: Did you buy it? 306 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 5: No, dude, that's IMDb. 307 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 3: You're like five years ahead of it. 308 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess I don't remember seeing I had to 309 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,160 Speaker 1: go to the library to get Internet back. 310 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 2: Then Whip's son Nelson runs into the room with the 311 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 2: Rubik's Cube. Dad, Dad, Look how close I got? 312 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:49,600 Speaker 7: Oh? 313 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: Hey, kidd, Oh that's not close. Give me that. 314 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 2: Whip takes the Rubik's cube and he solves it in seconds. 315 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,679 Speaker 2: He hands it back to Nelson. Whip Nelson bursts into 316 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 2: tears and he runs out of the room. 317 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: What when the people of America bring me a problem? 318 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 2: Yo? I solve it. 319 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 3: Check out the hook well, my DJ revolves it. 320 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,200 Speaker 2: In the doorway, Vanilla Ice, himself dressed as a cool caterer, 321 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 2: spins a birthday cake on his finger. Did you make 322 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 2: this cake. 323 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 3: Nah, I did the icing, icing baby. 324 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 1: You know, whip. 325 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 3: The only shit for Brand's icy in this room is you, 326 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 3: Susan Leeve. 327 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 1: Oh, I don't say that, Susan in front of the 328 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: cool caterer. 329 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 2: Gladdy Pet's whip on the shoulder. Looks like your pulling 330 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 2: numbers are bad at home too. Whip is left alone. Okay, Yeah, 331 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 2: We've got to keep reading this thing. 332 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm definitely curious about this. 333 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 2: You know what, maybe I just cancel my audition. This 334 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 2: is amazing. We should read this thing. Tapped about it. 335 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, guy. I mean it's 336 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: so old. 337 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's old, and I don't even think the writing's 338 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 3: that good. I just think it's an interesting idea. 339 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm back in nineteen ninety eight. 340 00:14:56,440 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 3: And Jenny McCarthy Carmen Electra. I love these names. 341 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 2: That's Vanilla Ice. That was hilarious. 342 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 3: I like how there was two CD players playing at 343 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 3: the same party. I don't even know what that would 344 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 3: sound like. Using basically made a mash up of two 345 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 3: of the worst songs ever written. 346 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 2: I don't know, guys, buddy, this is amazing. We have 347 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 2: to keep reading this thing. I'll look at this. Hold up, 348 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 2: it says right here Vanilla Ice does the ship for 349 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 2: brains wrap ro What is that? 350 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 3: Well right here in the back of the old binder 351 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 3: a cassette tape. 352 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 1: Actually, don't, don't, don't don't actually play that? 353 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 2: Why guy? Because the Holy Grail. 354 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: Now, so this is where I draw the line. Well, 355 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: that's just it's my stuff and I want to have 356 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 1: some control. 357 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 3: Why do you think I was asking you for d 358 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 3: batteries all morning? 359 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 1: Please? Please don't please, I got this. 360 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 3: Thing working man. 361 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 2: Boom box. 362 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 4: Look at it. 363 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 2: I definitely feel like I'm young again. 364 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 3: This was behind the refrigerator too, with the wine. 365 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: Okay, pop it in, give me the thing it in. 366 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,120 Speaker 3: Just let's play it. 367 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 2: This is Mark. 368 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 7: It's the nineties and my rap name is Busy Boy. 369 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 7: But this apart for Renilla eyes. 370 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: But the ones crap it. 371 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 4: He's got no game, but maybe one day he'll be president. 372 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 4: I'm the cypertail cras. 373 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: Please stop it. 374 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,680 Speaker 3: Okay, this is pretty good. 375 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 2: Play the rest. 376 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 3: Please, it's so good. I like that you called yourself 377 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 3: the cypress Hill guy. No one ever just refers to 378 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 3: themselves as that else is on this tape? 379 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 2: Is it just all wrap. 380 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: Please don't please, don't. 381 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 4: More than words. 382 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: Have to Yeah, let's not one, please, thank god, don't 383 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: no more? 384 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 2: It just hit play? 385 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 7: Is your joke pitches for Jerry Seinfeld? You know when 386 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 7: the plane crashes and they find the black box, it's 387 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 7: always protected. Why don't they just make the black box 388 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 7: the whole plane? 389 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 390 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 1: That is actually that's as good I know, I think 391 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 1: I know, but it was before he said it. 392 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 2: That was really good. Yeah, like like you're like, no 393 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 2: stra damus on this thing. 394 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: This is where I say, get the fuck out of 395 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 1: my apartment. The podcast is over and I'm done. 396 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 3: This is where I say I'm sleeping here. I'd appreciate 397 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 3: it if you would at least respect my room and 398 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 3: let us continue. 399 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 2: This is where I say, my audition's not for like 400 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 2: two hours, and if I walk around out there, I'm 401 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 2: gonna be all sweaty by the time I get there. 402 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 3: Yea, Brendon'll get diirhea before it's audition. 403 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 2: Love that mark. My body temperature changes an inch spring Okay. 404 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, okay, the tape does not go on 405 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: the podcast. 406 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 2: Okay, edit it out? 407 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: Fine, Okay, I told you it sucks, so hear my notes. 408 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: Number one, in the first shot, there are two songs 409 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,919 Speaker 1: coming out of two different CD players. That's insane in 410 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 1: a movie. Two great songs. 411 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 3: It seems like you created a mashup. 412 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: Well you can't. You can't do that. Number two Schneider's 413 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: name is horse. That has to change. 414 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 3: That tickled me. 415 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,439 Speaker 2: What if we say I pronounced it horse kick or 416 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 2: something like that, You know that horse check or horse check. 417 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you're the writer course orse second. 418 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, see you still got it? 419 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe maybe that can stay. 420 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 2: All right. 421 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 1: Number three Carmen Elector and Jenny McCarthy total opposites. Also, 422 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,359 Speaker 1: they're in their fifties. 423 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 3: Now, well we can find two women that have different 424 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 3: colored hair. 425 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,360 Speaker 1: Yeah? 426 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,359 Speaker 2: Whoever like the diversity? 427 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 3: Well did you ever see Friends? Yeah, they have different 428 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 3: color hair and that was diversity. 429 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: All right, listen for the purposes of the podcast, I 430 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,480 Speaker 1: am willing to read two more scenes and one more montage. 431 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 2: There goes my hero. 432 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,360 Speaker 1: Look it up. 433 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 2: Thank you, Mark? 434 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 1: All right, thanks, let's just get through it. You will 435 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 1: not regret this. This is all right. So I'm gonna 436 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 1: just just pick a page, Okay, just. 437 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 3: Go what's going on here? At page twenty five in 438 00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 3: the hospital five. 439 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: Oh right, so this this is where Whip gets literal 440 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:05,679 Speaker 1: shit for brains. 441 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,400 Speaker 3: So the title is Okay, that's what I was That's 442 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 3: what I was thinking. 443 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,399 Speaker 1: I mean, it's so convoluted. But he does get literal 444 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:18,040 Speaker 1: shit for brains. So he goes to the hospital for 445 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 1: a routine colonoscoby. But this sort of bug eyed psycho orderly, 446 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,879 Speaker 1: you know, like Steve BUSHEMI, yeah, guys, it would be. 447 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: And instead of pushing him into his colonoscoy, he accidentally 448 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 1: pushes him over here into brain surgery. Why it's on 449 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: the same floor of the hospital. I have no idea. 450 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 3: Isn't there another Sandler movie where he gets shipped for brains? 451 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:39,360 Speaker 2: I hope. 452 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: So then we're gonna throw this fucking thing out. 453 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 3: Oh no, I'm taking a spanglish. 454 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 1: So we take you to this operating room. 455 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 2: This okay, interior operating room. Day, Whip's head is open 456 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,479 Speaker 2: and his brain is in a dish while the surgeon 457 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 2: back has turned. A bag of dog shit sails through 458 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 2: the open window and lands and Whip's empty head without 459 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 2: noticing a nurse his brain back in the place. The 460 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 2: doctor turns back around and says. 461 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 3: All right, let's close him up. Okay, wait, can I 462 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 3: just ask one question? 463 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: Yeah? 464 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 3: So the dog should just sail through a window into 465 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 3: an operating room. Yeah, how does that happen? 466 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,919 Speaker 1: Two neighbors are fighting. One guy's dog keeps shitting on 467 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,240 Speaker 1: the other neighbors lawn, and he picks it up and 468 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 1: throws it at him, but he ducks. 469 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 2: This could be like Rock and Farley, you know, not anymore? 470 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,680 Speaker 3: Great, No further questions on that mark. He really tied 471 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 3: it up in a perfect way. 472 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 2: Unbelievable. Interior Whip's bedroom. Morning Whip wakes up groggy and confused. 473 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 2: His head swirls, his eyes bulge, his mouth opens, and 474 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 2: a huge fart comes out. 475 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 3: Disgusting. 476 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 2: Whip sees Susan in their underwear getting ready for work. 477 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,679 Speaker 1: His eyes go wide with a wolfish gleam. Oh, I 478 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 1: like it the boobies. 479 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no. 480 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 2: If you're gonna do it, we gotta do it all out. 481 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 2: Do the Sandler, Oh. 482 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 3: Do the Sandler do a Sandler? 483 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,919 Speaker 1: I mean she hasn't done a Sandler in for twenty 484 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: five years. 485 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 3: Everybody has a Sandler out? 486 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 5: No, give me don out of hell. I like it. 487 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 3: The boobyes, like the butt too. I mean that's a 488 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 3: little Italian, but I like it. It almost sounded like 489 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 3: it was Mario. 490 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 2: Let's do this from right here, you writ Whip sees 491 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 2: Susan in our underwear getting ready for work. His eyes 492 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 2: go wide with a wolfish gleam. Oh, I like it. 493 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 2: The boobies, uh, I like it a butt. Whip crawls 494 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 2: across the bed like a horny alligator. He springs to 495 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 2: his feet and grabs a shock. 496 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 3: Susan Whip for smarting ton. What has gotten into you? 497 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, my lady. 498 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 2: The question you need to ask yourself is what's gidding 499 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 2: into you? 500 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 1: The answer, my weedy Whip. 501 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 2: Huck Susan onto the bed. We see a funny sex montage. 502 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,040 Speaker 2: Susan squeals with glee as she and Whip writhe underneath 503 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 2: the covers. Whip pops out and dumps a cup of 504 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 2: water over his head like a marathon runner. 505 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 3: Just what the doctor ordered. 506 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 2: Whip wears a saddle. Susan rides his back with her 507 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:20,360 Speaker 2: brod in his mouth like a bridle g Whip sprays 508 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 2: a can of whipped cream. We pull out to reveal 509 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 2: Susan covered in a full body banana. 510 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: Splay with a little whipped cream. 511 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 2: Cut two close up on Susan's face as she moans. 512 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 2: Her feet are up near her head, her eyes are 513 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 2: crossed and goofy. Close up on their golden retriever Einstein 514 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,199 Speaker 2: as he covers his eyes with his paws, then he 515 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 2: peeks through it ath a big finish. They both cartoonishly 516 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 2: orgasm cut too whip and Susan li in bed exhausted. 517 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 2: We can't over to see that Einstein is also laying 518 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,679 Speaker 2: next to them smoking a cigarette. 519 00:22:54,480 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 3: Ah yeah, Mark, I mean, this is Duck is Duck Central. 520 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,640 Speaker 3: This is exactly what he's asking for. 521 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 2: This is perfection. This is like instantly, I mean, top 522 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,280 Speaker 2: three Sandler movies I've ever seen, and I'm only halfway 523 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 2: through your script and I haven't seen it yet. 524 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 1: I don't love my Sandler. It does sound more like 525 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,919 Speaker 1: Mario yeah than Sandler. 526 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 3: I mean, but that's that's that's not going to keep 527 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 3: Sandler from doing it and Duck from loving it. 528 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 2: We can't. We all know what you're going for, and 529 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,920 Speaker 2: we can feel Sandler doing it. This is out of 530 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 2: this world. Good do you want to work on stuff 531 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 2: after this. 532 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,879 Speaker 1: You know, well we are. I mean, this is what 533 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 1: the whole thing is about. 534 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,440 Speaker 2: Just like you and me. I got this idea for 535 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 2: a guy who's got a hamburger for her heart. 536 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: Is that something? I don't know. It's kind of sees 537 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: a lot. 538 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 2: Like burger heart? 539 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, is that something might be? Yeah, I don't know. 540 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 2: I just feel like you and me, we get this, 541 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:49,199 Speaker 2: you know. 542 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. 543 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 2: Oh it's probably dumb, though, what a stupid fucking idea. 544 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 2: I shouldn't have said it. 545 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 1: No, I mean, it's just it's probably going to be 546 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 1: as good as this. 547 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 2: You're not it's as good as this? 548 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 6: Then? 549 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,640 Speaker 2: Oh God kill me now because I have a cheap perfection. 550 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: Well, thank you both for liking it. I mean, I 551 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 1: guess we could do the last scene. 552 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 2: Yeah please, yeah. 553 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 1: Just let's do that. 554 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 6: We'll do that. 555 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 1: We'll go see how it ends. So this is the 556 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 1: climactic final scene. I want to skip over all those 557 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:23,640 Speaker 1: gold It's fine. Here's the thing. So he he stops 558 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 1: Whiteman's evil plan to team up with Sodom Hussein and 559 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: and Partying, which they called Operation Party Down, and all 560 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,920 Speaker 1: the college kids vote for him and he becomes president. 561 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: So you know, after chugging a bunch of beer, and 562 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 1: you know, the American flag, and Einstein's wearing a beer helmet, 563 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:45,720 Speaker 1: and the Sugar Ray guy is on stage, you know Grath, 564 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,160 Speaker 1: which really I can't get him anymore, but. 565 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,400 Speaker 3: I know he's too big. 566 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,200 Speaker 1: Wash he's not too big. 567 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 3: Well, he's too big to be working at a car wash. 568 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 3: He's really tall, Yeah, he's very tall. 569 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 2: He gets hit with the brushes all the time. 570 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like seven foot nine. 571 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 2: He's the guy who does the marker on the outside. 572 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: So that's what you paid for, gotcha. So anyway, that's 573 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: that's his whole campaign. He's got all these bikini babes 574 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 1: around and Steve Buscemi is his DJ and perfect, you know, 575 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: So let's just go. This is the final scene there 576 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,119 Speaker 1: at the victory celebration, right, yep, I got it. 577 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 2: Here we are exterior victory celebration day. Whip takes the 578 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 2: stage to the roar of a crowd. He steps up 579 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 2: to the microphone. 580 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 1: You all made me president, but Susan and Nelson, you 581 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: made me a good guy. There is one other thing 582 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,640 Speaker 1: that I learned, and this is the most important thing 583 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: of all. 584 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 2: Whip takes out a ukulele and he begins to sing. 585 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 3: And this is also on the tape. Right side be 586 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 3: it says, you can you song? 587 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 2: All right? 588 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:47,639 Speaker 3: Here we go flipping and dipping poop so funny. 589 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 6: And so off foughts. But saw the place where both 590 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:58,880 Speaker 6: of them start. The Chinese poopoo, Jews do too, Republicans poop, 591 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:03,439 Speaker 6: and Democrats. The only one that doesn't poop is j Loo. 592 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 6: Don't talk about a great Heidi. 593 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,160 Speaker 2: A toilet flushes and Jlo steps out of the bathroom. 594 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 3: Actually, mister President, I just took a giant stinker. 595 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 5: Oh my god, don't go in there. 596 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,959 Speaker 2: The crowd roars, I just won this last election. 597 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 4: When I look at j Loo, I get a big erection. No, 598 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 4: I don't need to explain. That's why I'm the best 599 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:35,360 Speaker 4: shit for brains, right, Mike Tyson, Yeah, Whip, that's a knockout. 600 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 2: The crowd cheers. We pull out to see that Whip 601 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 2: stage is right smack dab in the middle of MTV's 602 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 2: Spring Break. All the VJs are there. We pull out 603 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,399 Speaker 2: further and we see that the actual White House is 604 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 2: right there on South Beach in a cage. White man 605 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 2: is on all fours dressed like a pony getting spanked 606 00:26:54,480 --> 00:27:00,119 Speaker 2: by Paulie Shore. Ehbuy getty up. We see einste and 607 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 2: the dog driving a speedboat. We pull out to see 608 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,479 Speaker 2: that Steve Buscemi is next to him. He's wearing a 609 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,199 Speaker 2: wedding dress because they just got married. Buchemi turns to 610 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 2: the camera and he says, I like a Nimbleby's cut 611 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 2: to black the end. 612 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,040 Speaker 3: O great. 613 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 2: Mark. 614 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 3: I mean, I think this is the guy smiling on us. 615 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 3: Dutch died, Duck tweeted, Mark delivered. 616 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,399 Speaker 2: I feel like the guys who must have read Citizen 617 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 2: Kane the day Citizen Kane came out. 618 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 3: Oh, I don't feel like that at all. I'm just 619 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,120 Speaker 3: excited that this is exactly what Duck wants. 620 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 2: He wants it. It's perfect. I mean, this is better 621 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 2: than the eight Sandler movies I can think of. 622 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,399 Speaker 1: First of all, I'm not sure we can say with 623 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:55,320 Speaker 1: one hundred percent certainty the Dutch is dead. Okay, So 624 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,280 Speaker 1: I want to hold off on any of this excitement 625 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 1: because there is no way I am going to burn 626 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:07,199 Speaker 1: a bridge with Dutch Huxley by giving him a twenty 627 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 1: five year old piece of. 628 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,879 Speaker 3: Shit script It's called shit for brains. 629 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: Well, I know that because I wrote it and it's awful. 630 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:18,159 Speaker 2: So TMZ has a video of them losing control of 631 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 2: the gurney and he rolls all the way down the 632 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:20,920 Speaker 2: Hollywood Hills. 633 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:22,120 Speaker 3: Now that's a movie. 634 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,400 Speaker 1: Maybe it's somebody else. 635 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,200 Speaker 2: Once he pops off on the traffic and the sheet 636 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 2: comes off, it's. 637 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,719 Speaker 3: Dutch Journey of the Gurney. 638 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 1: Let's temper our excitement here. 639 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 2: Dutch is dead and we're going to be handing this 640 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 2: twenty five year old script to Duck, who is going 641 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,119 Speaker 2: to love this. 642 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 3: Duck loves anything that's twenty five. 643 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: Well, if we're going to continue with this podcast, we 644 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,479 Speaker 1: have to play by the rules of the podcast. So 645 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: let's go around. Let's rate the script, and next episode 646 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 1: we'll have another script to read. Okay, Brandan and go ahead. 647 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 2: I say, with the fullest and most pure voice of all, 648 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 2: from the top of the highest mountain, this is a 649 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 2: perfect ten. 650 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 3: I will also say this is one of the worst 651 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 3: scripts I've ever read. Doesn't matter, ticks the box. And 652 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 3: in Hollywood we say that's a Hollywood square ten. 653 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: I give it a negative five. 654 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 2: What you that's not a score. 655 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 1: You can score whatever you'd like. 656 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 3: We never actually clarified what the range of scoring was. 657 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 1: No, now, once you say it, once it's done. 658 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 2: It's a scale of one to ten. It's not negative. 659 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: All right, fine, then I give last week, I give Belenore. 660 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 2: You can't go back. 661 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 1: Well, then if you can, you if I make a rule, 662 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: if you make a role that I can make a rule. 663 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,280 Speaker 2: Okay, fine, all right, So what is that? That's fifteen. 664 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 1: It's fifteen, so it's tied. It's got the same score 665 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: as wins of Belenore. No, no, no, you know what. 666 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 2: I love my script, but I can't even it's a 667 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 2: freaking turd compared to this thing. I can't let you 668 00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,959 Speaker 2: sit there and put yourself down. 669 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,239 Speaker 3: I think this is a turd compared to that. If 670 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 3: you think about the title. 671 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 1: If we can't beat this script, we have no business 672 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: in show business. 673 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 7: Mark. 674 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 1: I'd like to take no business in show business will 675 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 1: be the new name of the podcast. 676 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 2: I want to take your boat by proxy, and I'd 677 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 2: say ten. I know, as the artist, you can't look 678 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 2: at it fairly. 679 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 1: You create it. I'm going to take your yours and 680 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 1: say zero. So, no matter how you cut it, it's 681 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 1: tied with Winds of Eleanor, which needs a lot of work, 682 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: So thanks for listening to this week's episode. 683 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 2: No, no, I don't want to get it to Dutch. 684 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: Note not Duck Mark join us next week when they 685 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: read Greg's script. Until then it's lights, camera action. 686 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,600 Speaker 3: But for writing, well, I'm getting a call from Duck 687 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 3: right now.