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Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Are you ready to confess? Because guess what

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Speaker 1: we are going back on tour. That's right, La is

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Speaker 1: our first stop on October twenty first at the tear

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Speaker 1: Grand Ballroom. Doors open at six o'clock. Bring your homies,

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Speaker 1: bring your girls, bring your partner, and bring those confessions

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Speaker 1: because the night is going to be filled with naughty

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Speaker 1: little secrets. And you know how we turn up at

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Speaker 1: a good mom show. So I cannot wait to see you.

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Speaker 1: That's October twenty first at the tear A Grand Ballroom.

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Speaker 1: Click the link in this episode description and get your

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Speaker 1: tickets today.

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Speaker 2: A lot of their friends' children, they were in jail,

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Speaker 2: out on the street doing this, you know, getting pregnant,

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Speaker 2: and here I am blacking.

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Speaker 3: Boys, but you know it just let's just take it.

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Speaker 4: Let's just let's beat Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I kind of made them appreciate all of the

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Speaker 2: things that I wasn't and start being grateful for the

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Speaker 2: things that I was because there's so many great qualities

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Speaker 2: about me that my parents have implemented as well as

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Speaker 2: I've you know, accumulated on my own.

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Speaker 4: But shout out to them for like being having the

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Speaker 4: wherewithal to understand that because I was using them. That

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Speaker 4: was trying to use that on my like that line

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Speaker 4: on my parents. It didn't slide so well. I was like,

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Speaker 4: why are you mad at me? I'm just fucking.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday tribe.

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Speaker 4: Happy Humpday tribe. How's it going? How's it going there?

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Speaker 1: Dear? It's going great, it's going right.

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Speaker 4: How you're failing? You're feeling ye? Holler? How do you do?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I got my leather boot song.

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Speaker 4: I see it look like what they call me. There

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Speaker 4: are dominate tricks to kick some ass.

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Speaker 1: Got my leather skirt on. It's pleated.

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Speaker 4: It's like school girl, but I'll kick your ass.

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Speaker 1: I finally found the perfect length leather pleated skirt.

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Speaker 4: You know, it's hard for me because I have long

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Speaker 4: legs and I'm a little woman, and I like little

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Speaker 4: things like very little skirts, and so if it gets

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Speaker 4: like too close to the knee, I'm I'm a HOUCHI

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Speaker 4: I'm a former school.

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Speaker 1: It's too See. The thing is with the skirts, my

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Speaker 1: ass always lifts the backup more than the front. So

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Speaker 1: I have to find something that evens it out. Unless

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm going for. But I was gonna leave

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Speaker 1: here and go places, and I don't feel like being

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Speaker 1: publicly harassed.

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Speaker 4: You want to do?

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Speaker 1: You want to luscious butt that I have?

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Speaker 4: You want to do a drip check?

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Speaker 1: A drip check? Is that where I stand up?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? That's what the kids are calling it? Drip I remember.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well it's my drip check. Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 4: So this is Erica. She's wearing a perfectly lengthed above

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Speaker 4: the knee pleated ples sky and the tube top that's

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Speaker 4: asymmetrical and lime green, and she has our I'll kick

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Speaker 4: your motherfucking ass boots on ee haul and then she's

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Speaker 4: bending over. Ooh, if you need to go on YouTube

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Speaker 4: right now? I see is that a lip? Is that

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Speaker 4: a We're about to get flagged on the motherfucking YouTube.

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Speaker 1: You almost saw a coochy lip, almost, but maybe, but

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Speaker 1: maybe you didn't.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you did.

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Speaker 1: You have to go to YouTube to find out.

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Speaker 4: You will have to come on YouTube because I'm wearing

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Speaker 4: a dress that's see through, and guess what's underneath it?

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Speaker 3: Nothing?

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Speaker 4: Not a single panty or bra was seen because I

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Speaker 4: don't I don't really own either, definitely don't own any

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Speaker 4: bras anymore. Those are dead. Panties are going out of

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Speaker 4: style too, What the fuck is wrong with those?

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Speaker 1: So?

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Speaker 4: How are you, darling drinking out of that booty cup?

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Speaker 1: I'm great, I'm great. I'm tan still still ten, guys.

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Speaker 1: It's September and I'm still still ten.

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Speaker 4: She's just bragging because we filmed this in July.

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Speaker 1: Why fuck you're exposing us. Shut the fuck up with

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Speaker 1: your big old mouth.

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Speaker 4: I'm a podcaster, bitch. What did you expect.

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Speaker 1: You're supposed to go with the program.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to September. It is sexual wellness September, and you

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Speaker 4: know we're some sexually well women and we're here to

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Speaker 4: bring you the sexual wellness of September and all three

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Speaker 4: sixty five actually, because don't wait till September to get sexy, bitch.

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Speaker 4: It's for you to access all year long, even past living.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 4: I want to be casket sexy. Even when I go

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Speaker 4: casket sexy, I want you to. I want my nipple

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Speaker 4: to be a little bit in my funeral. I want

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Speaker 4: to at my funeral.

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Speaker 1: So you're gonna have open casket, You're gonna be in

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Speaker 1: a casket.

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Speaker 4: No, but that sounded at my funeral. I want my

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Speaker 4: nipple to be I want to wear a sheer dress. Mama,

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Speaker 4: make sure you put on my number one club out

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Speaker 4: and when I die, because everybody gonna know I was

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Speaker 4: that bitch in life and in death. Hope, make sure

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Speaker 4: you got bottle service too. I want I want a

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Speaker 4: little like I want a little like chest, like little

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Speaker 4: ice chests with like some moette or something, the pink one.

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Speaker 1: Why do you sound like a white woman, white country woman?

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Speaker 1: Where are we I'm confused.

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Speaker 4: Somewhere in America white woman at the club with the

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Speaker 4: club or where we're at the club in Middle America

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Speaker 4: with a white woman who has a bob cut and

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Speaker 4: hoop earring zone and her husband name is Jamal Oh

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Speaker 4: Okay makes sense? Yep, Jamal Junior is coming up next.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, we have an amazing guest here who's equally as

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Speaker 1: funny as my friend here, Jamia Map.

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Speaker 4: Thanks for talking about whole government.

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Speaker 1: I would like to welcome to the show your.

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Speaker 4: Favorite your favorite cousins from your daddy's side, your favorite

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Speaker 4: your favorite distant cousin from your daddy's side. In a

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Speaker 4: not so quiet storm.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know. It was a lot of words.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to the show, durand producer, lyricist, artist, extraordinary comedian, comedian.

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Speaker 1: Are you yeah? You are pretty.

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Speaker 3: I mean well, you know I give pretty sound advice

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Speaker 3: about sex.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, perfect, perfect for sexual wellness September because we've got questions.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know that much about you. I looked

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Speaker 1: on your wikipedias, I looked on your page.

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Speaker 4: I know like all the standard things.

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Speaker 1: I know that you are an incredible singer. I know

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Speaker 1: that you are an incredible writer. I know that you've

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Speaker 1: toured with the Queen Mother. Myself I'm bucking obsessed with

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to make you, force you somehow get

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Speaker 1: you to get her on my show, Eric. And also

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Speaker 1: that you just exude joy. That's what I get from you,

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Speaker 1: just happiness and joy. And then as you sat in here,

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Speaker 1: you said, I'm very connected to my inner child, and

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Speaker 1: I love that. It's not something you hear very often.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just I'm really excited to have you and

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Speaker 1: I want to dive into the inner child ship because

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Speaker 1: I'm so curious as to a how you've kept that

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Speaker 1: alive or did you have to rediscover this inner child

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Speaker 1: or is it just always been just ever present He's

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Speaker 1: been there, always present.

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Speaker 3: Especially and I mom to thank for that.

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Speaker 1: So where where are you? Where'd you grow up? Where

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Speaker 1: you from?

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Speaker 3: I grew up in Cleveland, literally down the street from

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Speaker 3: Boa We Love.

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Speaker 4: I almost didn't know they were from Cleveland. I thought

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Speaker 4: for sure they're from the person of man, We're.

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Speaker 1: Gonna just divebody.

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Speaker 2: So they grew up on ninety ninth and Saint Clair.

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Speaker 2: I grew up on ninety third, and I am the

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Speaker 2: product of two musicians who play instruments and sing and

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Speaker 2: utilize their musical skills to make a living. And they

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Speaker 2: kind of passed that on to me. So they were

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Speaker 2: investing a lot, especially me being homeschooled and the only child.

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Speaker 1: Were you homeschooled your whole life?

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Speaker 3: Pretty much? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Oh wow? Okay? And was that why did you shoot?

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Speaker 1: Your parents choose to homeschool because they knew that the

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Speaker 1: school system was a fucked up place.

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Speaker 2: So let's talk about how Cheryl am hello there. She

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Speaker 2: was teaching music straight out of college. So she was

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Speaker 2: teaching actually elementary school, and that's actually where she met

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Speaker 2: my dad.

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Speaker 3: He was ten at the time, she was twenty two.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait wait, I was like, wait, Tod, we skip

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Speaker 1: apart like they were in elementary.

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Speaker 2: Together, I mean where they were together, but not together

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Speaker 2: like that. She was teaching him along with his other

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Speaker 2: siblings as well.

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Speaker 1: So your mom was your dad's teacher.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And one day after class he went to my

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Speaker 2: uncle Jan and said, when I grew up, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: marry Miss Malvin.

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Speaker 3: And eighteen years later did just that.

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Speaker 1: WHOA okay, I would look. How did that? How did

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Speaker 1: they just kept.

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Speaker 3: The no, no, no, so question?

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Speaker 4: That's a story.

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Speaker 2: So so my my uncle suit Cote at the time

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Speaker 2: he was took my dad with him to run an

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Speaker 2: errand and happened to be at my mom's job at

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Speaker 2: the time. She was working at a gospel radio station

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Speaker 2: called w ABQ, and she was coming out of her

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Speaker 2: job and my dad happened to see her and he

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Speaker 2: ran to her from the car. And he didn't call

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Speaker 2: her miss Malvin. That would have been a dead giveaway,

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Speaker 2: but no, he called her Sheirylyn. And so she did

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Speaker 2: not know who he was at first, but she had

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Speaker 2: been doing a lot of things, you know, in the

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Speaker 2: city and in the community, so she'd know who it

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Speaker 2: could have been. But she just knew yes, yes, sanctified

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Speaker 2: and they went on a date.

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Speaker 3: And oh, he didn't tell her at all. Yeah, So

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Speaker 3: they went on a date or two.

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Speaker 2: I think by the second date, he brought her back

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Speaker 2: to his home where his family was. They're sitting in

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Speaker 2: the living room talking and my aunt comes in and

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Speaker 2: you know, she sees it. And then my uncle comes

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Speaker 2: in and my dad goes, hey, wan.

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Speaker 3: Look who this is. He fixes his glasses and he's

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Speaker 3: like miss Malvin, my old school teacher.

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Speaker 2: And my mother went like, So she looked at my

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Speaker 2: aunt and she had to you know, borrow two. And

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Speaker 2: then she looked at my uncle, and then she cared

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Speaker 2: the foe, and then she looked at.

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Speaker 3: My father and she's like, oh my god. And she

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Speaker 3: couldn't even look at my at my grandmother because she

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Speaker 3: knew her as as sister, as sister Farib. You know.

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Speaker 2: That was so they knew each other in ministry. So

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Speaker 2: at first she was going to just x that out

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Speaker 2: that was not happening, and he's she said that he

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Speaker 2: called her a hypocrite. It was like, we was all cool,

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Speaker 2: everything was fine until you find out that I used

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Speaker 2: to be your student, Like I'm an adult now.

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Speaker 3: And she said that it was just his character how.

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Speaker 2: People loved and liked him, his relationship with my grandmother.

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Speaker 2: You know, she was paying attention to a lot of things,

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Speaker 2: but it was only the only dated for a year

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Speaker 2: before they got married in two years later, had.

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Speaker 1: Me, are you the only child?

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Speaker 3: I'm my parents only child?

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Speaker 4: Some shit has just written in the stars, baby, and

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Speaker 4: he knew. Okay, he said, that's mine.

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Speaker 3: That's not.

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Speaker 4: Charlyn, that is all me. I love that. That's a

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Speaker 4: very unique parent origin story.

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Speaker 3: I know. Right.

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Speaker 1: So how how did music? I mean, obviously I don't

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Speaker 1: know music wasn't in your household, but did your parents

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Speaker 1: early on identify that you were like musically inclined talenteds.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I always say that music took me serious

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Speaker 2: before I took it serious because it was always in

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Speaker 2: the house. There was always and because my mother was

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Speaker 2: also teaching me, music was somehow ingrained into the curriculum

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Speaker 2: some how, some type of way. So even after I

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Speaker 2: did you know my work sheets, there would be a

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Speaker 2: piano lesson, or we'll be singing something or you know, so,

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Speaker 2: uh yeah, I didn't know what I want. I thought

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Speaker 2: I want to be an actor or a firefighter or

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Speaker 2: an esthetician because I like picking at things, you know.

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Speaker 4: So I'm so it.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't until I was sixteen years old when my dad

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Speaker 2: brought me on the road with him, uh, with Earth,

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Speaker 2: Wind and Fire. Because he's an audio engineer. So he's

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Speaker 2: been taking care of a lot of clients. He did

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Speaker 2: Joe Scott's first tour, he did Whitney's last tour. He

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Speaker 2: did Nelling the same Lunatics, he did Cash Many Millionaires, Rihanna.

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Speaker 3: He did the Washington Washington Uh, watched the Throne.

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Speaker 2: Touray, Daddy's a legend absolutely, and also he did Bop

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Speaker 2: the Builder as well.

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Speaker 3: Okay, daddy's a legend yeah, on these road streets.

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Speaker 1: So I was.

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Speaker 2: I came in as a production assistant and also working

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Speaker 2: in merch and I got a chance to see the

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Speaker 2: behind the scenes as I call the hive that makes

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Speaker 2: everything work on stage. And so after that tour, he said,

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Speaker 2: is this what you would like to do? And I said, yes,

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Speaker 2: I would like to give this a try. So he's

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Speaker 2: been managing me since then.

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Speaker 1: Manage you know, wow, family, I love that. So being

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Speaker 1: at home and homeschooling and being in a musical family

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Speaker 1: where how how we were talking about this earlier about

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Speaker 1: like just your inner child. And we're also talking about

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Speaker 1: beating your kids. How we shouldn't be doing that. What

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Speaker 1: was it like, what was it about your parents? I

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Speaker 1: guess rearing that allowed you to kind of keep that alive,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like a lot of times it be

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Speaker 1: the parents that be killing the inner child.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you know.

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Speaker 2: Well, one thing that I have to say is I

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Speaker 2: had I had two different dynamics with my parents. My

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Speaker 2: father did more of the raising, with teaching sprinkled over it.

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Speaker 2: My mother was teaching and guiding. That was the foundation

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Speaker 2: with a little bit of raising. See when you were raising,

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Speaker 2: I was told we raised cattle. We don't raise human beings.

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Speaker 2: We guide and teach little people. And so because she

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Speaker 2: was a teacher, she already had patience and as someone

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Speaker 2: as a friend of mine Chris so eloquently put it,

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Speaker 2: she didn't put your humanity on probation just because you

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Speaker 2: were new here. You know, she had enough respect for

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Speaker 2: my human intellect that if I asked a question, she

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Speaker 2: a answered it.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't because I said. So.

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Speaker 2: They taught me independence. You know, she would give me

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Speaker 2: an errand to run where you know, she would we

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Speaker 2: would run errands together, and she said, okay, take this

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Speaker 2: in there and go to the you know, to the

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Speaker 2: front desk and give this such and such and if

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Speaker 2: you don't know, just ask. So she always let me

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Speaker 2: know questions are always all right, and nothing was ever

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Speaker 2: off the table, and so that curiosity was maintained. And

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Speaker 2: so now I know what parts of me can get triggered,

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Speaker 2: whether that's my inner child or my ner teenager, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, so things like that.

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Speaker 4: Hm, well, your mother is a force.

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Speaker 3: Listen. She was doing the gentle parenting before gentle parenting

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Speaker 3: was even a thing.

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Speaker 4: Which is so crazy because you would think, like, if

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Speaker 4: I was a teacher, I would get home and have

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Speaker 4: no patience.

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Speaker 3: Saying that literally, I'm like you would have thought, but

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Speaker 3: she was like, no, not mine. He gonna stay here

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Speaker 3: with me.

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Speaker 2: And so my thesbianism and how I express myself that

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Speaker 2: that's that's my mom right there, because it's untainted.

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Speaker 4: Your expression hasn't been tainted, where at a lot of

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Speaker 4: times at young ages for kids early on, you learn

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Speaker 4: like to shut the fuck up because someone's probably told you, well.

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Speaker 3: Here's the thing with that. It was cool when I

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Speaker 3: was in the house. It was an issue when I

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Speaker 3: went outside.

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Speaker 2: That was where the issue became, or you know, niggas

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Speaker 2: would take the scenic route to get over to where

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Speaker 2: I was to bother me, you know, so that's kind

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Speaker 2: of what that was. But that also developed thick skin.

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Speaker 2: It taught me boundaries, you know. Even when my dad

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Speaker 2: was you know, he would let me know, look, you

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Speaker 2: you gotta get respect in order to give it as well.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's not just the one way street.

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Speaker 2: So in times, sometimes the things that our parents teach us,

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Speaker 2: we end up using those things on.

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Speaker 3: Them, m.

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Speaker 4: Right, when they're trying to short you on respect, Like

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Speaker 4: didn't you.

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Speaker 3: Say, oh yeah, h yeah, the thinking before acting, the

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Speaker 3: you know, all that stuff. I had to use that

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Speaker 3: on them, And.

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Speaker 2: I think those are those are moments when you realize, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we are becoming adults. You know, we are our own person,

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Speaker 2: you know, and especially at some point they're not even

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Speaker 2: raising anymore.

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Speaker 3: They're keeping us. They're providing shelter.

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Speaker 1: Right, you know that's true. Yeah, I mean, but you

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Speaker 1: let a parent tell it, that's not the truth. They'd

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Speaker 1: be like, you're a child forever, you're a child. You're

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Speaker 1: my child. And I think I mean even as you know,

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Speaker 1: we're both moms, so we have to remember that. And

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Speaker 1: I also have to remember that too, because I felt

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Speaker 1: that way with my own mom and not trying remembering

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Speaker 1: not to bring those things with me to my child,

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Speaker 1: and the because I said so yeah, and because I

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Speaker 1: want her to be able to ask questions. But then

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's just easier to just do that, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you're tired and you're just like because But ultimately,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think I think, like maybe five or

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Speaker 1: ten because I said so, hopefully.

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Speaker 3: Won't.

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Speaker 4: Five or ten don't kill her whole curious five or

349
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Speaker 4: ten of them in motherhood, right, like maybe a strong

350
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Speaker 4: twenty and past that then it's abuse.

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Speaker 2: So so so, there was one time where my mother

352
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Speaker 2: was giving me some chores to do around the house

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Speaker 2: and I had to been maybe four or five, and

354
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Speaker 2: it was, you know, okay, I need you to pick

355
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Speaker 2: up your room.

356
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Speaker 3: I need you to vacuum because I like to vacuum.

357
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Speaker 2: She was also teaching me how to wash clothes and

358
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Speaker 2: iron at six years old as well, you know, oh yeah, listen,

359
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:40,160
Speaker 2: we got our life skills together. And after she gave

360
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Speaker 2: me the rundown, I said, okay, and what are you

361
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Speaker 2: going to be doing?

362
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Speaker 3: I was just genuinely curious.

363
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Speaker 2: That's like, I know what I'm gonna be doing, And

364
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 2: she's like, if I told you what I had to do,

365
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Speaker 2: it'll make your heads.

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Speaker 3: Now go in your room, please, you know. So in

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Speaker 3: some cases like sir.

368
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 1: How dare you?

369
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 2: I'm paying the bills, But also too, I have to

370
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 2: make sure that remind people is you're not doing your

371
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 2: kids a favor by rearranging your life to accommodate them,

372
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Speaker 2: because they didn't ask to be here.

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00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 3: I did not ask to be here, which is why

374
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,880
Speaker 3: I am high all the time.

375
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 4: High Light that ship up.

376
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Speaker 1: Yeah, let me blight this backward up. I don't know

377
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 1: if you've ever had the vanilla backwood.

378
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Speaker 3: Well, I love vanilla.

379
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got the vanilla wee. We run out of honey.

380
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 1: Normally we put the little drip it with the honey.

381
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Speaker 2: Bit.

382
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 3: What does the honey do?

383
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 1: It seals it, It helps it burn.

384
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,880
Speaker 4: Slower, and it gives you that sweet, little, sweet, little

385
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 4: sweet taste, you know. Yeah, hmm, I can't wait to

386
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,360
Speaker 4: hit that blunt. It's the first blunt of the day

387
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 4: for me, really, yeah, and it's kind of late in

388
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,680
Speaker 4: the day for that. I wonder bitch has been stressed.

389
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Speaker 4: That's the thing about.

390
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 1: Witch I smoked while I smoked a whole backwood yesterday

391
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 1: to yourself, Yeah, well pretty much. Me and Orlando sat

392
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: here and smoked it. And this is the oh thank you.

393
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 2: Okay Fanny package let no breeze formed against my bluntshell process.

394
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 4: That's when you take on the mountain to go skiing.

395
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 1: I ate here and then I went home and I

396
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 1: was this is when I was like, do I need

397
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 1: to stop smoking weed? Like this is excepting and I stopped.

398
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 1: I was like, let me. I was like, I'm going

399
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 1: to take the long way home because asked Orlando. Like

400
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,359
Speaker 1: I was trying to find every excuse not to go

401
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: home last night. I was like, can I rearrange in here?

402
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 1: I just did not want to go home and be

403
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,120
Speaker 1: a mom. I was literally try, what time did you leave?

404
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: Like eight? Seven thirty?

405
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 3: Okay, So I had my this.

406
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: Is still not going hey, let me get this one

407
00:20:51,280 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: more time, thank you ah. But no, I was like,

408
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: you know, listen, if you're a parent, you can relate.

409
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 1: You'd be sitting in the car for like thirty minutes

410
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 1: on your phone just trying to like not go inside,

411
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 1: go inside or just wrap up the few things you

412
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 1: gotta do because well you know, once you get in there,

413
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,200
Speaker 1: they're either gonna be like get off your phone or whatever.

414
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 1: The fuck. So I was like, let me just I

415
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I've been like, oh, we have some

416
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 1: content to shoot. Let me shoot that while I'm here.

417
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 1: I was like, h what else could I do? Then

418
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna turn the lights on it here.

419
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll do like a day with me at the

420
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 1: podcast studio. It's like seven o'clock at night. There no

421
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,440
Speaker 1: one's here, not a day with me, just me, And

422
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 1: he wasn't here. He left and then like he came back,

423
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 1: and then I was like, want to smoke again? So

424
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: then we smoked again. And then I was driving that

425
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna get all the freeway.

426
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take Ventura all the way down. So I

427
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,640
Speaker 1: took ntur all the way down to where I live,

428
00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: which is not that far, but it's unnecessary. And then

429
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 1: as I was driving, because you know what, my plan

430
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, well maybe if I drive down Ventura,

431
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: I'll see some like delicious snacks or something that I

432
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 1: won't see on the freeway. So it's very important that

433
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: I drive Downvatura, so I drive Dowventura and then I

434
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: do I spot the what's it called the Taipan truck.

435
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 1: I don't know it's it's the truck that has like

436
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: the Kariokey chicken.

437
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 4: And the right oh yeah, like the like the Benni

438
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 4: Hahnna truck, that Benny hash truck.

439
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 1: And so I was like, I'm not hungry, but I

440
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 1: could be.

441
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 4: So I couldn't make myself, will prolong.

442
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 1: My entry home. So then I got over there and

443
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 1: then I ordered that and then I immediately opened it

444
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 1: and I was starving. It was like I hadn't eaten

445
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 1: all day. I ate the whole thing in my car

446
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: and these are big, like it's like a big plate

447
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 1: with rice. Then I got home and then I was

448
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: like I'm so high, and I was like I want desserts.

449
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 1: And then I cut open a mango ate that and

450
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: then literally felt like I was on the throw up

451
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 1: and I was like I'm gonna barf, and I was like, Mommy,

452
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? I was like, I'm not well.

453
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 1: I need to stop smoking weed, like I was eating

454
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 1: it so excessively. And then right before we went to bed,

455
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 1: because I ordered an extra fried rice just in case

456
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 1: she wanted it, but also just in case I was

457
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 1: still hungry. Right as I'm like laying in bed, I'm like,

458
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 1: should I go have a few more bites of rice?

459
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 1: That's like, bitch, go to bed bed. So anyway, that's

460
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 1: my long story of meat contemplating if I need to

461
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: stop smoking weed. But here I am.

462
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 4: I mean, food is one of those things I always

463
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 4: want question if I don't have issues with food, Like

464
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 4: I'm skinny, but like I can look at three Instagram

465
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 4: posts and then I want exactly what I see and

466
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 4: then I can't rest until I get the exact meal

467
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 4: that I saw in somebody else's page. I'm like, now

468
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 4: I need to have this, must go to Benihana. Unless

469
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 4: you pick up food, no, I eat it. Yeah, I

470
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 4: know you pick at it, you like eat it a

471
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 4: little bit.

472
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: Now I eat it. I eat itt night, you'll eat

473
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: like you'll eat the same plate like three times.

474
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I mostly eat at night. In the daytime,

475
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 4: my appetite is like I haven't really smoked all, Like,

476
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 4: I don't get that hungry. I have to force myself

477
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 4: to eat into like at nightfall. Then I'm starving. But

478
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 4: when I came home from the retreat or Landa's like,

479
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 4: you look thicker. I was like, I've been eating three

480
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,719
Speaker 4: times a day. I've been eating three times a day

481
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 4: for two weeks. My bed is big, y'all big and juicy.

482
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, no, so go ahead. I think when

483
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 4: you're a parent, solo time is really like a thing,

484
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 4: you know, like you're especially as a mom, like you're

485
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 4: constantly with people, your partner, your daughter, your kid. I

486
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 4: think I drove down for tour the other day, Jane.

487
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go home, and then I knew

488
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 1: its exactly what I thought it's gonna fucking happened. I

489
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 1: got in that house and she was.

490
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 4: Like, Mommy, Mommy, what I do?

491
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:40,239
Speaker 1: Can I can?

492
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 4: Can we play?

493
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 1: Can we play Adding Go Seek?

494
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 3: I was like.

495
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 1: And then I'm like I'm not high enough. Maybe you're smoking.

496
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: And she was like then I like hit her with

497
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 1: a pillow. She's like, pillow fight.

498
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 4: I was like, no, Wade makes you a better parent.

499
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: And then I was like, can we just like cuddle

500
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: and watch a movie? And I just saw her little

501
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: like fucking hearts die.

502
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 4: They never want to just chill. They're like they don't

503
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 4: want to just cudd on, watch a movie. They want

504
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 4: to do active play where you're moving around and looking

505
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 4: for them and like going like doing lots of gyrated.

506
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:10,120
Speaker 3: Is she the only one?

507
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 1: Yeah?

508
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 3: Gotcha.

509
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: I laid on the bed. She's like, here, I want

510
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 1: to show you something. Coming in the other room. I

511
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: want to show you something. I was like, what do

512
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 1: you want to show me? Just come I get up?

513
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 1: Does she want to show me something?

514
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 3: No, she want to show me shit.

515
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: She just wanted me to get up, just to get up.

516
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 4: And I was like, kids, I mean this is not

517
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 4: a popular statement, but kids are Kids are annoying. They

518
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 4: really are, like this is like, it's not their fall.

519
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: She can carr At one point, I have the volume

520
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: on out there. What's wrong with you?

521
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 3: No, she's not, because at one point we were liabilities too. No.

522
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 4: I always say this. Children are liabilities because there's there's

523
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 4: the heart outside of you you can't even do it

524
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 4: about And and that's what makes me feel guilty is

525
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 4: that this is they're the heart outside of you. You

526
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 4: can't do about it. It's a liability. Just like girls

527
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 4: walk around the earth, and so what something I can

528
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,400
Speaker 4: make sure I can try to like monitor you from

529
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 4: the long distance away and I can't. But like I

530
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 4: do remember being a kid and just wanting to fucking

531
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 4: play and now like this is play. Yeah, yeah, you

532
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 4: can't do this.

533
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 3: So you know what else? We love to rest?

534
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 4: I love and guess what. Kids don't like rest.

535
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 3: Because they feel like they're missing out on things.

536
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 4: They fucking refused it. I couldn't. But last yesterday, yo,

537
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 4: I was like, I was in the house with Luna

538
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 4: and my friend. Luna was like, let's do this. Let's

539
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 4: do this.

540
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: Listen.

541
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 4: I was like, you know what we're about to do.

542
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 4: I'm about to go to them, about to go to

543
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 4: a party, get dressed. She was like, I don't. I

544
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 4: don't want to go. I was like, we're going because

545
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 4: you need an activity. We went to the pool party.

546
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 4: It was one thing and one thing about me as

547
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 4: a mom. You gon't you want to you want to

548
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 4: kick it? Let me show you how we kick it. Oh,

549
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 4: we're going to the rooftop in Beverly Hills. Put on

550
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 4: a good crocs, baby, we're going out. And guess we did.

551
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 4: She was like, come with me to the pool. I'm like, listen,

552
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 4: I'm over here. I'll look at you over here. I

553
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 4: did some piro wets by the pool, but there's some cartwheels.

554
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,199
Speaker 4: And then I put her off on somebody else who

555
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 4: want to do piro wets and cartwheels by the pool.

556
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 4: And then I ordered a drink. And then after that

557
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,040
Speaker 4: my friend met me and I was like, oh, we

558
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 4: still were still outside. We're going to dinner now. She

559
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 4: was like, oh, you want to play. This is mommy's play.

560
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: This is what we did.

561
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 4: We meet friends and we drink and different locations around Hollywood,

562
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 4: and sure enough my friend came. I got my third

563
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 4: drink and I was like, never, we're going to eat.

564
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 4: You know, you like to eat every five minutes. Never

565
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 4: going to a classy dinners or or shout out to Cashley.

566
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 4: She balls out of control, ordered a bottle of Champagne,

567
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 4: a bottle of Moet at dinner. It's probably three hundred dollars.

568
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 4: I don't even know, but I was like, she's so

569
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 4: fancy that. I was like, she's like my tree. I

570
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 4: was like, come on, listen, she said my tree. I said, Hanney,

571
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 4: we're going out.

572
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: Luna was like, I'm tired.

573
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 4: I just want to go home and put on a

574
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 4: T shirt. I was like, we're playing we outside. I'm like, oh,

575
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 4: you can't, Oh you can't kick it too much. I

576
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 4: was like ten more minutes.

577
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:51,439
Speaker 1: One thing.

578
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 4: I'm like, we're gonna You're not gonna lock me in

579
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 4: the house and play hide and seek me to death.

580
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 4: We're going outside to do shit. And then she was like,

581
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 4: this pool looks like the other rooftop pull we went to.

582
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 4: I was like, why does my child know every rooftop

583
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 4: pool in fucking l Ah. That was the London. It

584
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 4: does kind of look like that.

585
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:07,919
Speaker 3: This one.

586
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 4: I've never been in this one. She's been to every

587
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 4: motherfucking rooftop pool because that is the playground for mommy.

588
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 4: And this is where we're going to play together with

589
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 4: my friends, where there's a bar and a pool. Okay,

590
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 4: because I cannot. You will not hide and go seek

591
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 4: me to death?

592
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 1: You want kids?

593
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 3: So do I want children? Yes? Do I feel that

594
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 3: it's a good idea for me right now? No?

595
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 2: Only because my rent, my car, health insurance, those are

596
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 2: my kids, and then of course they're the grandchildren Wi Fi, Hulu, Netflix.

597
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: And not the grandchildren all the subscription services.

598
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot, and just I feel, I mean,

599
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 2: this is this is just me. I think this is

600
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 2: the part where I've reached in my life. I feel

601
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: it's only fair if I just me, I have children,

602
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 2: I need to be able to provide, to provide them

603
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 2: with a life where they don't have to do anything.

604
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 2: They can literally just be not to say that they

605
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: won't understand certain ethic or have certain life skills, but

606
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 2: they're not about to be working to die. They're not

607
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 2: about to be in debt, you know, because the American

608
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 2: dream is to go to college and get an education,

609
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 2: when that's putting you in more debt because now once

610
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 2: you get out, you're overqualified and there's no jobs.

611
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 3: It's like, wait a minute.

612
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 4: System adulthood is grim as fuck. When you realize like

613
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 4: it's never ending and there's never gonna be time, there's

614
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 4: not a bill you or else, like you'll be homeless.

615
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 4: That is a devastating realization, Like why did you bring

616
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 4: me here so I could work the rest of my

617
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 4: life and pay taxes to the government that doesn't even

618
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 4: fuck with me.

619
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 2: Speaking of paying taxes, I feel like random. I feel

620
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 2: that if you have to pay taxes, you should be

621
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: able to vote. So fifteen, if you're working at fifteen

622
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 2: and they're taking taxes out of your check.

623
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 3: You should be able to vote. Yeah, and I want

624
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 3: to hear about well, they don't know about this, and

625
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 3: that's that's what I'm saying. How many adults have we

626
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 3: seen on television.

627
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: Not no ship, not no now, but they have of

628
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: your city? Oh wait, the mayor. I'm just saying people

629
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: even have the answer to those questions and are in

630
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 1: the voting booth.

631
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 4: I'm but I don't know about job. But when I

632
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 4: worked at Whole Foods at sixteen, I was putting examps.

633
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 4: I wasn't paying ship. My mom don't put examp. I

634
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 4: was putting exempt. Probably until last year. I was like,

635
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 4: I'm not exempt. No, remember you could you could use

636
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 4: you could profile exam if you don't have any dependence under.

637
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 3: Get that ash on the couch now, Okay, nip.

638
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 1: Was about to come out, my love, it's once it's

639
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 1: fighting it go back in.

640
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 4: We're gonna name her. What is she gonna call her?

641
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 4: Like mini, missy? Get back in missy. That's the right one.

642
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 4: She don't like to come up.

643
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 3: I feel like that cilantra cilantra.

644
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 4: Yeah that seems extra like this titty be trust me,

645
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 4: this wasn't gonna go on any social platforms. A bit

646
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 4: would would likely do a whole part. I would do

647
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 4: a whole podcast. Is that the new podcast topless podcast?

648
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 1: Because of the guys were cooking naked patre make it

649
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: the naked makers or some sh I think that's how

650
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: you make that's how you like unsexualized nudity.

651
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,719
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's that's the new thing. I'm unsexualizing.

652
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: Seriously, No, seriously, this is something that I've wanted to

653
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 2: do for the longest. I wanted to do a nude

654
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 2: photo shoot, very tasteful. The kicker is is that everything

655
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 2: is going to be shown and the air condition is

656
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: going to.

657
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 3: Be on blast.

658
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 4: That's brave.

659
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

660
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 2: I want to take as much sexuality out of the

661
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 2: photos as possible.

662
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,479
Speaker 1: And yes, wait, I was like, why does the air condition?

663
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 3: Oh he knows how the air condition would be. Yep,

664
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 3: I want to Yeah. I just want to represent for

665
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 3: the growers, not the showers, you know as.

666
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 4: Well, not the growers, not the show. I'm a normalized growers,

667
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 4: not showers.

668
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, grower.

669
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 4: Yes, that's a nice surprise though, You're like, oh okay,

670
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 4: I didn't see that coming.

671
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

672
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 4: Oh shit. It's like it's like fucking the librarian. And

673
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 4: then she takes off her clothes and she has like

674
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 4: her nipples piers. Like, okay, ah, I didn't see that.

675
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 4: I like a little surprise that.

676
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 1: It's a good analogy.

677
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 4: M hm. I only know that because when I worked

678
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 4: at Whole Food when I was sixteen, we had this

679
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 4: very white, square manager, the team leader, you know, and

680
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 4: she was just so square. And one day I looked over,

681
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 4: I looked through her shirt, and that little bitch had

682
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 4: nipple piercings. And I said, I didn't see that coming,

683
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 4: and I was like, I need those.

684
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: And so you can get those. I could get those.

685
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: That said, I like, I like what.

686
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 4: I like what you just did there. And then what

687
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 4: did my sixteen year old asked, go do got her

688
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 4: nipples piers? And that was not a good idea.

689
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 3: When I was sixteen, I got my nabel piers.

690
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,719
Speaker 4: I did that too. I pierced my na get it yourself, fourteen,

691
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 4: that's some real Valley white.

692
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 3: It didn't work out about to say that.

693
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: Affected it was the whole thing.

694
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 4: You went all the way through. I think I tried

695
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 4: to start and then I was like nine, but I

696
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 4: didn't obviously I didn't do it with a real like

697
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 4: I do, like ear the earring, yeah, and safety put

698
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:03,479
Speaker 4: in and put an earring in there.

699
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: It wasn't good, but I felt I think I did.

700
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 4: To repair my navel. I think it's gonna bring back

701
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 4: my inner teenager.

702
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 1: Are you pierced on the top of the bottom?

703
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 3: The top bottom?

704
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: I was, I'm the top elitist. I think, why the fun?

705
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 1: Would you pierce?

706
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 4: Was really cool?

707
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: Is really cute?

708
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 3: I can't put anything.

709
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: I never understood that.

710
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 4: Let's after this, that's all come on, just a pierce

711
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 4: of we're sixteen, let's do it. It would be so fun.

712
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 2: But see, my parents took me to get my mind

713
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 2: pierced as well. Like both of them were there.

714
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 3: See what you just did?

715
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: See So your parents they were cool with their sexuality.

716
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 3: I didn't say they were. I think so here's the

717
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 3: here's the thing they were.

718
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 2: They were okay with me expressing myself. I think that

719
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,959
Speaker 2: aspect of it is where it kind of hit them

720
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 2: in the gut a little bit because they're still you know,

721
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 2: they're they're Christian. It was more so my mom than

722
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: my dad. Uh, and they were feeling, you know, we

723
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 2: didn't pray enough we didn't do this enough.

724
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 3: We didn't. So but here's the thing I think life, just.

725
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 2: Life showed them with their friend group. Oh yeah, you

726
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 2: need to lick her on the side.

727
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:28,439
Speaker 3: Yours because that is what that is what she said.

728
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 4: And let me tell you your friend now raise.

729
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: Reports for everybody, uh, their friends that they knew, especially

730
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 2: from church, no shape, but a lot of their friends children,

731
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 2: they were in jail, out on the street doing this,

732
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 2: you know, getting pregnant, and here I am blacking boys like,

733
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 2: you know, let's just let's kind of made them appreciate

734
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 2: all of the things that I wasn't and start being

735
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 2: grateful for the things that I was because there's so

736
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 2: many great qualities about me that my parents have implemented

737
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,399
Speaker 2: as well as I've you know, accumulated on my own.

738
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 4: But shout out to them for like being having the

739
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 4: wherewithal to understand that because I was using them that

740
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 4: was trying to use that on my like that line

741
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 4: on my parents. It didn't slide so well. I was like,

742
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 4: why are you mad at me? I'm just fucking I

743
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 4: could be doing a lot of bad shit, like getting pregnant,

744
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 4: doing drugs. I was like, God, they're so fucking dramatic.

745
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 2: Now, now here's here's something that I I just recently

746
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 2: shared in the way that I'm sharing it. So there

747
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 2: was a time where I told my father at fourteen

748
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: pretty much that I'm not scared of him anymore. And

749
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 2: also this whipping thing, this is going to stop. We're

750
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 2: not going to do that anymore, pretty much. And I

751
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 2: said it very softly. It wasn't It was very unprovoked

752
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 2: as well, but it just been sitting on my chest

753
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: and we.

754
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 3: Were in my room at the time. But that's when

755
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 3: I had a family computer. So my mother was on

756
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 3: the computer.

757
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 2: As she turns around and my mother is as white

758
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 2: as this curtain because she's like, oh my god, what

759
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 2: did you just say? And he said, what did you say?

760
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 2: And I repeated myself. I said, I'm not afraid of

761
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 2: you anymore. And if you try to whoop me for

762
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 2: something that, especially if I didn't do it, then I'm

763
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 2: going to resist. Now, mind you, my father is six ' two,

764
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 2: you know, towering over me. But there was there was

765
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 2: just this I just reached my my peak. And also

766
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 2: I was implementing the things that he taught me because

767
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 2: I just was I got tired of living under the

768
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,280
Speaker 2: same roof for someone that I was afraid of. I loved,

769
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 2: but I'm also afraid of you, and it's like, I

770
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 2: just don't want to do this anymore.

771
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 3: And so also to.

772
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 2: To include that my dad is a third degree marshal

773
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 2: up martial artists, so sharline gun for right, Yeah, nobody

774
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: want to mess with him. And we went down into

775
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 2: the basement and he gets in front of me and

776
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 2: he gets into his stance and he's like, okay.

777
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 3: Let's go. And I stood there, not moving with my

778
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 3: hands till my side. I'm like, what are you doing? Like,

779
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 3: what are you doing?

780
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 2: And I think that also goes into play of how

781
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: I've the emotional resilience and intelligence that they've also implemented

782
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 2: instilled in me. So even I'm not going to respond

783
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,439
Speaker 2: to this, I'm not going to react to that because

784
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 2: you taught me not to.

785
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 3: And so he when he saw that, it was just

786
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 3: like it made him. I feel like he had a

787
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: moment where.

788
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 2: It was like, Okay, I'm tripping, like guess And that

789
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 2: was the last time that we had ever had to

790
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 2: talk about that. And then a couple of years later, unsolicited,

791
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,919
Speaker 2: I got an apology. So I really wish I hadn't

792
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 2: whooped on you. I wish I would have talked to

793
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 2: you instead. But by that time, I'd already forgave him,

794
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 2: you know, because I understood he wasn't taught certain things,

795
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 2: he didn't have certain patience, like my mom.

796
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 3: Here you go, like my mom, did you know?

797
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: So we've me and my parents, we've been able to

798
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 2: grow individually as well as collectively, and I think we

799
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 2: did pretty good without therapy.

800
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 3: I would have liked it.

801
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 2: That would have that would have been real dope if

802
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 2: we had those those tools. But the fact that we

803
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 2: did it without that and just listening to one another

804
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 2: because their thing was regardless of what we're going through,

805
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 2: Throwing you out is not an option, right, you.

806
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 3: Know what I'm saying.

807
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 2: And I'm my mother's only job. She had me when

808
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 2: she was forty one, you know. So it's it's a

809
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 2: lot that is that has gone into this us as

810
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,240
Speaker 2: I call it the tripod.

811
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 3: That's that's our group chat.

812
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful story. I feel like I was like,

813
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: is this a scene from a movie? I really see

814
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: it happen, right, And it is when like as this

815
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 1: as the child teaching the parent, the lesson and the

816
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 1: blessing that your father didn't just whoop your ass, because

817
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: a lot of parents be like, no, no.

818
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 2: A friend of mine definitely said that he tried that

819
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 2: with his father, and his father whooped him. And my

820
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 2: thing was, I got to a point where, and you

821
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 2: know how you think about certain trajectories in your life,

822
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 2: like just one decision could have altered everything. And I

823
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 2: think about had that not been respected, y'all would know

824
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: me on a level that would not be positive at

825
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 2: all because it was going to be a me or

826
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 2: you situation. And you might be able to whoop my ass,

827
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 2: but I can take you about here. You will not

828
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 2: be able to sleep under this roof if you put

829
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 2: your hands on me again, Like that's where we got,

830
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: Like that's just where I was in my mind. Yeah,

831
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 2: because and it doesn't need to be that way. And

832
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 2: so there's a there's something that that parents need to understand.

833
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 2: There was a fine line between a child fearing you

834
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 2: and respecting you.

835
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 3: You or disappointment should be enough.

836
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 4: Because they respect your respect, your opinions so much.

837
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,839
Speaker 2: But also but that comes with building trust and understanding

838
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 2: that they can come to you, talk to you, you

839
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 2: can hear them. It's not just seeing me and not

840
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,840
Speaker 2: hearing me, you know. And this whole thing about you know,

841
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 2: I'm not your little friend. One thing that I love

842
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 2: about my mother, she let me know from them, from

843
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 2: the mom that I was able to conceptualize language.

844
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 3: I'm your friend, just not one of your little ones.

845
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 3: I'm absolutely your friend.

846
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 1: Your best friend, you know.

847
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 2: And and she is and so and I understood that

848
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,800
Speaker 2: there are things that I can do and say with

849
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 2: her that I can't. You know that I might can

850
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 2: do with you know, the homies, but not her because

851
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 2: I have a respect for her.

852
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 1: So I'm your friend, but not one.

853
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 4: Of your little But that's real, I think.

854
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

855
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 4: But thank God for their emotional maturity, you know, their

856
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 4: emotional intelligence, because a lot of parents you start to

857
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 4: grow up and you start to realize, like they're children

858
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 4: and they're not extotionally mature and they haven't evolved in

859
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 4: that way. And just because you have a house and

860
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 4: a job and you take care and keep kids alive

861
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 4: does not necessarily mean you have the tools. And even

862
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 4: us talking about like how we parent are like because

863
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 4: I said so, sometimes I find myself doing things I

864
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 4: don't even believe in because that's the only reference to parenting.

865
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 4: I know that the parenting that I received, and so

866
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 4: I can consciously know like this is a whole ass

867
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 4: human who probably has been here way more times than me.

868
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 4: So like the respect is there because I know I

869
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 4: respect her intelligence. But it's crazy how you could just

870
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 4: like resort to reverting into just the programming if you're

871
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 4: not actively working against it. Because you have to work.

872
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 4: It has it has to feel, it has to commit.

873
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 4: You have to be committed to it.

874
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 2: That could and it's also not eat like gentle parenting

875
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 2: just undoing and deprogramming. It takes a lot out of you.

876
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 2: One thing I would like to say when parents have

877
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 2: the misconception of saying I was fifteen once I was

878
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 2: seventeen once you weren't seventeen when technology was what it is.

879
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 2: And yeah, and one thing I remember one time my

880
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,359
Speaker 2: dad said, you know, ain't nothing new under the sun.

881
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, but the sun ain't seen tomorrow,

882
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 2: not the.

883
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 3: Family, like it ain't seen tomorrow now, you know.

884
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 2: So we have to understand that each person is different

885
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 2: than we're having our own experiences. This day is being

886
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 2: experienced eight billion different ways. Literally, this is somebody's best day,

887
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 2: this is somebody's worst day. This is somebody's first day,

888
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 2: that's somebody's last day. And don't forget the stuff in between.

889
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: It's just man, it's a regular day.

890
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 4: It's like yesterday and the one hundred days before that,

891
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 4: because every day is similar.

892
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's profound. You really think about it that way.

893
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 1: I've never really thought about it that way, and it

894
00:42:55,800 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 1: makes you it feels so important but also not important

895
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 1: at all, Like that's why you have to just because

896
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: that's why you just have to live.

897
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 3: Would you want would you want to be sixteen and

898
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:08,399
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three?

899
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:09,439
Speaker 1: Fuck?

900
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 3: Now, you couldn't pay me. You could not pay me.

901
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 2: I shudder at the at the thought of having access

902
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 2: to Twitter and Snapchat at twelve.

903
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 1: Right, shit, I mean yeah, because what did I have

904
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: at twelve?

905
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 4: Wild Wild Watch? You had the skates, you had like.

906
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 3: The sh outside they had online side.

907
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: I was on the internet though, I remember age sex

908
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 1: location like.

909
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:38,399
Speaker 2: Oh yeahol, but you weren't on it, like how we're

910
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 2: on Yeah, yeah you have.

911
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,800
Speaker 3: First, First of all, we have family computers.

912
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 4: We had to share.

913
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: We could only be there like maybe thirty minutes to

914
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: an hour if no one was home maybe an hour.

915
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: You really get into it.

916
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 2: You know, but had friends over yeah, yeah, and downloading

917
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:52,839
Speaker 2: us a single song.

918
00:43:53,120 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: Please Okay, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm queen of fucking a rotation.

919
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 1: Was I gonna say, oh, LimeWire and Napster because I'm Morpheus?

920
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 3: Wow?

921
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 4: I mean even you saying like you went to go

922
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 4: get your navel pierced, and like they both went with

923
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,800
Speaker 4: you and supported you when you were sixteen, and like

924
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 4: even your mom being involved in the church. That's huge

925
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 4: for then, you know, like when you were sick like

926
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 4: sixteen years ago and shit.

927
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,800
Speaker 2: So so let me let me, let me give you

928
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: just a little tidbit because I'm writing my book, okay,

929
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 2: and I am. I have different chapters. I went about

930
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 2: my dad, went about my mom. One about my mom.

931
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 2: I was talking about the times where people have spoke

932
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 2: about me and her presence, and she let into the ass.

933
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 2: One time we were in church and I had to

934
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:53,839
Speaker 2: been maybe three, three or four, and her and one

935
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 2: of the ladies in the church called I of me

936
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,399
Speaker 2: wornning down the aisle, and the lady goes to my mother.

937
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 3: Up there comes that bad little fing boy. My mother

938
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 3: was like, what are you talking about like, no, your

939
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,479
Speaker 3: child is bad. You don't talk about my child.

940
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like it's just like right

941
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 2: in front of everybody, she did not play they bear

942
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:18,320
Speaker 2: in a skirt like when you have when you have

943
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 2: people in your life that have your back like that,

944
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 2: And it was even some stuff that woul happen. We

945
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 2: couldn't even tell my dad cause they want him go

946
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 2: to jail. He was what somebody asked, Okay, do not

947
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 2: play about his family. So yeah, I'm great. I'm grateful

948
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 2: for that kind of support. And that's that's also the

949
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 2: kind of support that I have around me as well.

950
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 1: You know, will you attract what you put out advice versas?

951
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 4: And yeah, and it's clear that you're a product of that,

952
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 4: you know, of that energy, like just like even saying

953
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,399
Speaker 4: I'm connected with my inner child, like it's take that's

954
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 4: a that's an uphill battle and you know, just existing,

955
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 4: like you said, if you have a kid who wanted

956
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 4: to just live, like it's very rare that especially as

957
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 4: black people, as a black man, being able to tap

958
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 4: into your joy always because it's not difficult.

959
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 2: There's a quote that says, be happy without reason, like

960
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,800
Speaker 2: a child because if you have a reason that you're happy,

961
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 2: then someone can take that away.

962
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 3: So be happy without reason.

963
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 4: That's the affirmation of the day.

964
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 2: Well, and also too, I look at this different dimensions

965
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 2: of it. I look at happiness like the checking account

966
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:32,399
Speaker 2: that's easily accessed and that can fluctuate. Then you got joy.

967
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 2: That's the savings account. We don't touch that unless there's emergencies,

968
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 2: you know, sometime and then we got over here right here,

969
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,439
Speaker 2: that's peace of mind. That's the Swiss bank account. Don't

970
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 2: even know about that. Don't touch that.

971
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 3: That is an abundance, you know. So I definitely have

972
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 3: peace of mind, you know.

973
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 2: But that's also a daily practice because I always say,

974
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 2: you got to give yourself grace, take it moment by

975
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 2: moment because a lot of shit can happen in a day.

976
00:46:58,880 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 4: Say that shit again.

977
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: I said, take it moment by moment because a lot

978
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 2: of shit can happen in a day.

979
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 3: Grace, Okay, grace is the word, that's true.

980
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,359
Speaker 1: We gotta we gotta give grace like we give our kids.

981
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 3: Parents have parents, and sometimes the parents don't even be

982
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 3: giving their kids grace. They don't have patience, they don't

983
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 3: have kindness because they don't even have it for themselves, right,

984
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 3: They weren't raised in that, and so it is.

985
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 2: What's the quote, The trauma isn't your fault, but the

986
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 2: healing is your responsibility. We have to we have to

987
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 2: be an improvement on the design they were using what

988
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:37,479
Speaker 2: they had at that time.

989
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 1: The whole point is to be the well, their hope

990
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 1: and your one duty. I feel like, as a child

991
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,439
Speaker 1: who's didn't ask to be here, you know, just try

992
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: and be better.

993
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 3: You are not you are not your parents. You're not

994
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 3: your parents. You are you.

995
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 4: You're literally just souls coming through. You're choosing people to

996
00:47:58,239 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 4: come through, you know.

997
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 2: And then I lucked out. Oh oh I hit the

998
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 2: I hit the lottery with Sheerlyn Eminar.

999
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

1000
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 2: If I didn't have anything else in life, my career,

1001
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 2: like none of these accolades, Like just that kind of

1002
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 2: support that you can experience from two people who love

1003
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 2: one another, and then that is like how they love

1004
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:24,919
Speaker 2: each other is how they love you. And then I'm

1005
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 2: the world is experiencing the echoes of that. It has

1006
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 2: had a farther reach, and I'm so glad that they're

1007
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 2: here to experience the world love on their child.

1008
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 3: Like, I truly love them so much.

1009
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 2: They are just and so progressive, like for them to

1010
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,720
Speaker 2: be the age that they are and to be wither

1011
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 2: with technology, like they are so active.

1012
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 3: You know, so so proud of them.

1013
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 4: That's beautiful, so beautiful.

1014
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 1: That's all a parent can ever hope their child says

1015
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: of them.

1016
00:48:56,760 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 2: I know, question for the room, would you be friends

1017
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 2: with your parents if they weren't your parents?

1018
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 4: You're in these questions today?

1019
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: Why are you trying to trigger me?

1020
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 3: Listen? Listen?

1021
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:15,359
Speaker 2: As Chris Gray said, I like being triggered because it's

1022
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:19,479
Speaker 2: a catalyst for growth. Why am I being triggered? Okay,

1023
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 2: I don't like that feeling, So let me get to

1024
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 2: the root. Let me take inventory. Oh yes, oh yes

1025
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 2: see we're in a constant state of healing over here.

1026
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 2: Like yeah, fuck, nigger free is fun and whatnot, But

1027
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 2: that's not the life that I'm living. I want to

1028
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 2: I want peace, Like I said, I'm tired of fighting.

1029
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 2: I'm tired of being in this era of strong and

1030
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 2: and and stoic like no, I want to be I

1031
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:43,800
Speaker 2: want to be gentle.

1032
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 3: I want to be soft with myself.

1033
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 2: Because the world is already found in brand new ways

1034
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 2: to what I ask every single day. So why not

1035
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 2: be gentle with yourself?

1036
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 3: You owe that to yourself.

1037
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 4: You If anyone's going to be gentle with you, it

1038
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 4: has to be you, or it's absolutely going to go

1039
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 4: up your ass.

1040
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:07,840
Speaker 3: And other people too. Was like I said, God, to

1041
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 3: set these boundaries. If I don't, you'll do them for me.

1042
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 1: It's just exhausting. It's just too exhausting to have to

1043
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 1: work that hard. You know, you have to just be Yeah,

1044
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 1: you just have to even find the joy. I mean,

1045
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's easy to find a joy when

1046
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 1: you have two incredible parents, you know what I mean.

1047
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 2: I'm incredible, I'm incredibly fortunate. Yes, it was to a

1048
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 2: point where, like some of my friends around me, I

1049
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 2: felt bad that I have both parents because everybody was

1050
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 2: either divorced or they had you know, a single parent

1051
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 2: or you know, something like that. And so, and then

1052
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 2: being friends with certain people at the time that made

1053
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:48,240
Speaker 2: me feel bad for having that because my life reflected

1054
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 2: everything that they didn't have. Right, even and even with

1055
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 2: me attempting to share my parents and let them be

1056
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 2: around you know this and get encouraged, it still wasn't enough,

1057
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 2: you know. And so That's why it's important for at

1058
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 2: least the people in my circle as much as I

1059
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 2: can for you know, to connect with people that have

1060
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 2: their own thing going on.

1061
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 3: You know that they have something to.

1062
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 2: Flourish, so they're not looking at your relationship for validation

1063
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 2: or to complete them. You know, whether I'm here or not,

1064
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 2: you're gonna be good and vice versa. That's that's what

1065
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 2: I need on all on all planes where that's platonic,

1066
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,280
Speaker 2: you know, romantic, all that stuff.

1067
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 3: And I want and I want to be inspired by

1068
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 3: the people in my life. I want to look at

1069
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 3: you and be.

1070
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,799
Speaker 1: Like, maybe you're so on your ship, like I need

1071
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 1: to step what that's my friend?

1072
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 3: You see it.

1073
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:37,240
Speaker 1: It's a flex.

1074
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 4: It's a flex when your friend can pull up on

1075
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 4: a Thursday night by a bottom moach, you know.

1076
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: What I'm saying.

1077
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 2: Or they're telling you what what kind of breakthrough that

1078
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,919
Speaker 2: they had in therapy and saying and now they're able

1079
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 2: to make room for other things that are going to

1080
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:52,959
Speaker 2: help them grow like I love like I love seeing

1081
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 2: my friends grow and excel just within themselves.

1082
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 4: It brings me joy to have deep, heartfelt quite like

1083
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 4: really deep self reflective conversations with my friends where they're

1084
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 4: asking about shadow work and if they're triggered and if

1085
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 4: this is a childhood thing? Am I projecting or is

1086
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 4: this Like I'm like, yes, Lord, because I could be

1087
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,359
Speaker 4: around a whole bunch of bitches talking about shit I've been,

1088
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 4: I've experienced it, and that shit is a true low

1089
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 4: vibrational like. It will not inspire you. You will be angry,

1090
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 4: you will be upset. It will be a comparison. But

1091
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 4: like when all of your friends are leveling up, like

1092
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 4: personally but like in spiritually, that shit feels like company

1093
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,360
Speaker 4: you keep at it's a reflection of you.

1094
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, because they're.

1095
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 4: My fucking friend.

1096
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, but some people never figured that part out. There

1097
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 1: are some very there are some amazing people that continue

1098
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: to keep people around them that hold them back, and

1099
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,320
Speaker 1: they'll never reach their full potentials based on that.

1100
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: People pleasers lack their relatives and the reason and I

1101
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 2: say the problem, and I say that specifically because there's

1102
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 2: a difference between your family and your relatives, and folks

1103
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:03,360
Speaker 2: need to sort that out quickly. Yeah, your relatives is

1104
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 2: who you share blood with. Nan ain't got nothing to

1105
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:07,919
Speaker 2: do with you. You know, there's a lot of grace

1106
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:09,120
Speaker 2: that's being given in that area.

1107
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 3: And it's.

1108
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 2: I just gotta say this real quick because one of

1109
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 2: my friends. I gonna say who it is, but I

1110
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,719
Speaker 2: do not like his mama. I do not like her

1111
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,800
Speaker 2: at all. And it's more so just the disrespect that

1112
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,839
Speaker 2: she shows my friend, and that's like, that's my heart

1113
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 2: and so it's it's like, you are extending yourself so

1114
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 2: much to this person just because they gave birth to you,

1115
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 2: and maybe that was maybe the only decent thing that

1116
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 2: they ever did for you in.

1117
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 3: The first place.

1118
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,360
Speaker 2: But let me tell you something, if I catch her

1119
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,359
Speaker 2: off the clock, I'm charging her ass up and I'm

1120
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 2: coming for that backslidding conditioned wig that thing, all right

1121
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 2: them as she asked ankles and the and them tied

1122
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 2: ass getting heels. Baby, I'm coming for everything because he

1123
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 2: ain't gonna do it.

1124
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 3: He's not gonna do it. So yeah, I just want

1125
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 3: to say that. I just that's how that's and that's

1126
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 3: how I felt about my family.

1127
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 2: Regardless of who is in your latfe it don't matter

1128
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 2: if it's blood or not, Like if they're not treating

1129
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 2: you kindly, if they're not adding like if they are

1130
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:10,200
Speaker 2: stressing you out like, do you know that stress is

1131
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:10,839
Speaker 2: killing people?

1132
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 4: Right?

1133
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 3: You know that stress is killing people. That's why I

1134
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 3: say the thing I only focus on shiit I got

1135
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 3: control over because what am I gonna do about it?

1136
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 3: If I can't do nothing about it?

1137
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:28,800
Speaker 1: That's true. So but yeah, no, I'll have time to

1138
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 1: stop giving family members grace.

1139
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, relatives well.

1140
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 4: Sometimes, because I know friends are experienced adults who have

1141
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 4: such a like, well it's my parents, like I have

1142
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 4: to respect them or like like I'm I'm not that

1143
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 4: I respect my parents. But there's also like a level

1144
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 4: of like, this is who I am, this is what

1145
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 4: I'm doing. Okay, Joanna Miles, I'm a lesbian now okay, update,

1146
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 4: I'm not a lesbian anymore. I'm pregnant, you know. But

1147
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 4: I remember when, like randomlyness brought home a girlfriend from

1148
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 4: college and my mom was like trying to be like

1149
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 4: be like, she can't sleep in your room, and I

1150
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 4: was like, man, I'm a lesbian and she's sleeping in

1151
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 4: my room. What the fuck are you talking about? But like,

1152
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 4: I've seen people who are so stifled by the like

1153
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,919
Speaker 4: pleasing their parents, and I just I mean maybe because

1154
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:20,359
Speaker 4: it's a part of who I am I can't help

1155
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,080
Speaker 4: but be who I am, so I don't try to.

1156
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 4: You know, it's like that hard, but I just I

1157
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:32,760
Speaker 4: can't imagine there's I can't imagine allowing someone to control

1158
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 4: in that way just because you want them to be

1159
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 4: pleased essentially, And like recently we had a Kashik record

1160
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 4: readings and like you know, it's like a spiritual like

1161
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:45,720
Speaker 4: it's like a Google search of your soul and basically

1162
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,959
Speaker 4: they like they're like something like you're just a soul

1163
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 4: coming through people, and you might choose this person. You

1164
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 4: might be wrong, like you fucked around. You thought you're

1165
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 4: gonna have a better relationship, but you chose it was

1166
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 4: not meant to be. Like well, okay, well that I

1167
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,840
Speaker 4: I get it, Like I can resonate with that, and

1168
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 4: now I have less.

1169
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 1: Of a this like this.

1170
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 4: Attempt to do the impossible with someone that if you

1171
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 4: don't fucking like me, you don't respect me, Like what

1172
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 4: the fuck are we supposed to do with this?

1173
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 2: And what would be the craziest thing is if your

1174
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:21,360
Speaker 2: parents instilled in you to believe in yourself and to

1175
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,799
Speaker 2: navigate for yourself, and then in that same breath they're

1176
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 2: trying to take away your voice, and so so for me,

1177
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,320
Speaker 2: it's like my parents have poured so much into me,

1178
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 2: like support and love from myself because they're okay with me.

1179
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 2: And it's not about accepting, it's embracing. They ain't got

1180
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 2: to accept nothing that's already gonna be what it is,

1181
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 2: but you can embrace that.

1182
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 3: So I'm embraced.

1183
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 2: So what a motherfuckers say really doesn't permeate too too

1184
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:56,279
Speaker 2: much bad past the surface. It might can ruffle a

1185
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:58,840
Speaker 2: feather or two, you know, it might fuck up a lash,

1186
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 2: you know, but it ain't gonna have me really losing

1187
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 2: too much sleep, you know, because I understand.

1188
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 3: Like, oh, can I tell you all the story? Oh

1189
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 3: my god.

1190
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 2: Okay, So every time I tell this story, people like

1191
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 2: they just they're like that could not have been made.

1192
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 2: So back when I would back when my early twenties,

1193
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 2: I would go out to the club. I'll go to

1194
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 2: the club by myself because I'm the only child. You know,

1195
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna wait old on nobody. I'm doing what

1196
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 2: I got to do when I want to do it.

1197
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 2: So this particular night, I'm there and I'm sitting in

1198
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 2: this area that is a stage that kind of takes

1199
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 2: you over into the dance floor and they are these

1200
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 2: group of guys that come by and they look like

1201
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 2: they had pregamed a little bit. I'm very sober because

1202
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 2: I got to drive forty five minutes back to Cleveland

1203
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 2: from Akron, Okay. And I had on this Phineas and

1204
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 2: Ferg hat where the brim was the bill of the duck.

1205
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 2: And one of the guys is trying to touch my

1206
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:04,919
Speaker 2: my hat and I'm, you know, excuse me. And after

1207
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,400
Speaker 2: I do that and I turn around, he goes.

1208
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 1: Uh huh.

1209
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 2: Internally, So I had about five to ten seconds to

1210
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 2: immediately jump into myself and assess the situation. So we

1211
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 2: had one side of me that was like, look, you

1212
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:29,400
Speaker 2: can take an elbow to this nigga back of the head,

1213
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 2: and like, because you know, we ain't gonna play that.

1214
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 2: And then there was another version that said, well, let's

1215
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 2: let's let's go down the list. There's one of you,

1216
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 2: there's five of them. That's one number two, you like

1217
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 2: coming to this establishment. So even if you are justified

1218
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 2: in defending yourself, they gonna put everybody out, including you

1219
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 2: number three.

1220
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 3: And this is the question I really want.

1221
00:58:54,040 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 2: To know, is your life in any immediate danger it's not,

1222
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:07,200
Speaker 2: then you need to walk away. And that's what I

1223
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 2: did at twenty four.

1224
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 1: That's the last question. Is is the one that more

1225
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 1: people need to ask because if you really answer that honestly, it.

1226
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 3: Ain't because because you understand, I have things to lose

1227
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 3: if I start cutting up a food with your ass, right, yeah,

1228
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 3: you know, like we really need to start really thinking.

1229
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 2: That's what my parents will always say, think before you act.

1230
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 2: That was something that was drilled in.

1231
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 3: You got to think, so analyze, anti.

1232
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 4: Lize, analyzed. Does this seemed like a good motherfucking I

1233
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 4: do because I don't even know, Like I mean, I'm thinking,

1234
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 4: like at thirty five right now today, would I react like.

1235
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 2: This was a a nice little My head went, you know, yeah,

1236
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 2: but again and also also I was sober, he was drunk.

1237
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:12,960
Speaker 3: Right, that was like, I'm in my clear mind, you're tripping,

1238
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying.

1239
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, No, I mean I think a lot of

1240
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 1: people thought that. I mean, instinctually you want to like,

1241
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: you know, but I don't. There's very little that would

1242
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 1: provoke me to violence that there I have felt rage

1243
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 1: though where I have I have I have slapped a

1244
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 1: nigga before I did people because I there's no excuse

1245
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 1: for it. I think because I experienced it myself, Like

1246
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 1: I experienced violence myself, and so that's how I started

1247
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:48,560
Speaker 1: to learn how to like protect myself. And then when

1248
01:00:48,560 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 1: I would get angry, I felt like that was the

1249
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 1: only way when I experienced violence, even if it was

1250
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 1: usually if it was like a violent form of communication,

1251
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 1: it triggered me and get the fuck out of my face.

1252
01:00:58,720 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 3: You know.

1253
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 2: But no, violence is not absolutely that's always gonna be

1254
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 2: my last one. If I we gotta throw blows, that

1255
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 2: means it's a it's a it's a meat or you situation,

1256
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 2: right right. So I'm not even gonna We're not gonna

1257
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 2: do that.

1258
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 4: I think I'm just like the visceral reaction for someone

1259
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:20,400
Speaker 4: like putting there, like touching you and anyway, like it's

1260
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 4: like you're you're like knee jerking.

1261
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 3: You know.

1262
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:24,760
Speaker 2: No, I don't know what would happen if someone likes

1263
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:26,120
Speaker 2: spit on me. I've never been spat on.

1264
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 1: Oh that's like that.

1265
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 3: I don't.

1266
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:32,040
Speaker 1: They're just I feel like I like Chase, I have

1267
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 1: like has to do it. I'm running something would have

1268
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 1: to have real quick. And then I finally I calm

1269
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 1: down and then I walk away.

1270
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:40,120
Speaker 3: Is it just me?

1271
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,760
Speaker 2: Are there a few versions of yourself that you never

1272
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 2: want to meet or encounter?

1273
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 3: Yes, being spat on, I don't. I don't want to

1274
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 3: know that version of myself. I don't know.

1275
01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 2: I don't want to know the version of myself where

1276
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 2: I am being struck by my significant other, I mean anybody.

1277
01:01:56,960 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 3: But it's but like especially like, ah, that is not

1278
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 3: the house.

1279
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 4: But nah, I've met that version of myself. I've met

1280
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:09,120
Speaker 4: versions of that and that and that it creates. It

1281
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 4: can create a like a violent person, and then you'll

1282
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:16,120
Speaker 4: start to read like that person will show up in

1283
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 4: places that are not like justified because you've that's like

1284
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 4: kind of like learned behavior. I've definitely like saw that

1285
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 4: I took, like after being in a like relationship that

1286
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:27,960
Speaker 4: was like violent, that I took that with me and

1287
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 4: it took time to like unlearn that.

1288
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, it's it's heavy, especially love and love

1289
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:37,440
Speaker 1: will confuse you, and sex will confuse you.

1290
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 4: Sex and sex and violent.

1291
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,800
Speaker 3: Have you have any of you, ladies, ever been digmatized. Yes,

1292
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 3: I don't know what that's like. Can you can you

1293
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:49,040
Speaker 3: take me through just you're.

1294
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 1: Just when when you know you meet someone and the vibe,

1295
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 1: the energy, the sex magic is so powerful, but the

1296
01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 1: integrity is not matching it.

1297
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:01,640
Speaker 4: Have you I've seen the Exorcist?

1298
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:08,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, my digmatizing doesn't usually last like too

1299
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 1: too long, but but the dick will keep you going

1300
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:16,440
Speaker 1: back normalizing flagrant behavior.

1301
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 3: You know.

1302
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:19,880
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's been like dick, but sometimes it's been like

1303
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 4: something else, like a pool in ways, Like it's like

1304
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 4: covered in dick, but like I feel like there's just

1305
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 4: like it's a pool to your dark side.

1306
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:28,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1307
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:31,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's energetic. It's like a like a lowering of

1308
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 4: like the beast, you know, like that that's what it is,

1309
01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 4: like connect to different parts of like your toxic. So

1310
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 4: like this like the toxic dark side in me can

1311
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 4: fuck with this, And like a lot of people are

1312
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 4: not willing to say, like and sometimes it's covered in sex,

1313
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:51,640
Speaker 4: but there's always something else that sex is that little

1314
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:54,480
Speaker 4: added sprinkle of sex magic, And I'm like, maybe it's

1315
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 4: like a soul tie that's covered like you know what

1316
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:59,120
Speaker 4: I mean, But it's always been like yeah, it's definitely

1317
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:00,400
Speaker 4: like some dark side ship.

1318
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:04,360
Speaker 1: M hmmm, you don't know nothing about that, laf I

1319
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 1: don't I think.

1320
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,240
Speaker 2: I think now that I now that you're describing it,

1321
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 2: I might have digmatized someone.

1322
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:12,439
Speaker 3: Oh but see but see here, no, no, no, here's

1323
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,840
Speaker 3: the thing. Here's the thing. Wait wait wait wait wait,

1324
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:16,080
Speaker 3: let me explain, Let me explain.

1325
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:21,720
Speaker 2: So this was more so with So I did a

1326
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 2: song called Curiosity, another song called Relocate, and I was

1327
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 2: talking about my first sexual experience with a woman.

1328
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 3: And she knew what this was.

1329
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,600
Speaker 2: It was not anything you know, that was I was

1330
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 2: keeping to myself. She knew I'd never had a extual

1331
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 2: on before and it was the only thing I wanted

1332
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:42,720
Speaker 2: to try. And so she offered herself because you know,

1333
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 2: she's like, oh absolutely.

1334
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 3: And why not?

1335
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:47,400
Speaker 4: Okay, So.

1336
01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 2: And this was supposed to be a homey of mine

1337
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 2: and so as we got into it, I started to

1338
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:57,840
Speaker 2: feel that she was treating me like one of her niggas.

1339
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 3: And there would be things that would say, what I

1340
01:05:01,240 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 3: was your girl, and I'm like, wait a minute, but

1341
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,400
Speaker 3: that's not what this this is.

1342
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 4: Wait, so did you guys do it like multiple times?

1343
01:05:08,240 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 3: Was like for a whole summer.

1344
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:14,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was that she was like, okay, well maybe

1345
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 2: like I but see, had I known that that was

1346
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:18,400
Speaker 2: going to be the case. I feel like I got

1347
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 2: a crash course in the things that a man can

1348
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:23,680
Speaker 2: go through with a woman like in a short amount

1349
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:25,960
Speaker 2: of time. And so now I got a whole different

1350
01:05:26,040 --> 01:05:28,080
Speaker 2: side of what my homies could possibly be going through.

1351
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 2: And some of that was actually traumatic, and I'm glad

1352
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:32,360
Speaker 2: that I was able to work through that and not

1353
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 2: attach that to myself because it really was some shit

1354
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 2: like yap, my lord, and black women have had my

1355
01:05:40,320 --> 01:05:43,640
Speaker 2: my my back, you know, all my life. But once

1356
01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 2: I stepped not But however, once I stepped into that space,

1357
01:05:47,920 --> 01:05:49,280
Speaker 2: I just saw a whole different side.

1358
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:51,160
Speaker 4: You experienced it.

1359
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:56,680
Speaker 3: Yes, I was my goodness, this is scary.

1360
01:05:58,440 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 2: But also but also that was a unique circumstance that

1361
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 2: that was not a representation of all women.

1362
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:07,000
Speaker 1: That's not you date all types of people, are you?

1363
01:06:07,760 --> 01:06:08,000
Speaker 1: Are you?

1364
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:10,600
Speaker 3: I'm a fuck around and find out sexual.

1365
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 4: Find out with us and I don't know what I'm racist,

1366
01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 4: all different types of Yeah.

1367
01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:20,000
Speaker 2: And although there's nothing like black men, which is you know,

1368
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 2: but you know, I'm open to a lot of things. Whatever,

1369
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:25,920
Speaker 2: whatever makes sense, whatever is safe, whatever.

1370
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 3: Feels comfortable, you know what.

1371
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:32,160
Speaker 2: There's mutual respect, you know, and communication articulation within the

1372
01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 2: communication so that we can have comprehension.

1373
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:39,240
Speaker 1: Comprehension. I was reading something a meme on or some

1374
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,760
Speaker 1: some sort of quote on Instagram, and it was saying,

1375
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 1: how it's not the it's not that people don't know

1376
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:47,240
Speaker 1: how to communicate, it's the comprehension. And I was like,

1377
01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's so true because some people you

1378
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:52,920
Speaker 1: can just continue to communicate with and it's like.

1379
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 4: How is this not?

1380
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:55,920
Speaker 1: And it's the comprehension.

1381
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the comprehension.

1382
01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 4: And that's big.

1383
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:01,959
Speaker 1: And I feel like I feel like comprehension has gotten

1384
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:04,680
Speaker 1: lower and lower and lower, and that is in part

1385
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:07,960
Speaker 1: due to all the distractions that our brain has to

1386
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,600
Speaker 1: interact with all the time. And I believe that it

1387
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,160
Speaker 1: literally that's the first thing it starts to chip away at,

1388
01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:16,320
Speaker 1: is your comprehension, not even like your attention. It's like

1389
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 1: how well you can understand and compute things, and it's

1390
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 1: just breaks it down from there. Anyway, I just got deep.

1391
01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:25,880
Speaker 1: But the comprehension part is it's serious because I'm like,

1392
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:28,160
Speaker 1: how many conversations that I had with people, specifically men,

1393
01:07:28,240 --> 01:07:30,400
Speaker 1: because I feel like we speak two different languages and

1394
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:33,480
Speaker 1: I was like, it was like I said something that's

1395
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:35,600
Speaker 1: okay now you say it back, but that is not

1396
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,439
Speaker 1: what the fuck I said. It was like that abe

1397
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:40,640
Speaker 1: like that. I'm like, that is literally not what I said.

1398
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:43,000
Speaker 1: And I'm like, whoa. It's like when you play telephone

1399
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:44,520
Speaker 1: and by the time you get to the tenth motherfucker,

1400
01:07:44,520 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 1: it's some other shit.

1401
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 3: Immediately I'm not going I'm not gonna hold you.

1402
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,400
Speaker 2: I realized that when I was dealing with my you know,

1403
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:55,800
Speaker 2: we ain't cool, no mo, you know, but uh, I

1404
01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 2: got sent a paragraph, you know, jk Rowlin style, no,

1405
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 2: no stands, no spaces, all that, and I responded, okay,

1406
01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 2: Like that's how I knew.

1407
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:07,880
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, I'm here.

1408
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:11,080
Speaker 1: Oh women, we do we write a paragraph?

1409
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,960
Speaker 5: I mean I will too, but like, damn, no spaces,

1410
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:28,240
Speaker 5: no breath, not even like man, remember kermit, lord.

1411
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:38,120
Speaker 1: Guilty, guilty. I would rather what's up with?

1412
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 3: What's up with the car? Oh? The car?

1413
01:08:39,840 --> 01:08:44,479
Speaker 4: The card? Oh the card, the card.

1414
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 1: I'm not high the car.

1415
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:48,000
Speaker 3: This God damn back.

1416
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:48,920
Speaker 1: When y'all told you.

1417
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:53,559
Speaker 4: Get ready for the car, get over, this is the one.

1418
01:08:56,680 --> 01:08:57,120
Speaker 1: I got it.

1419
01:08:57,240 --> 01:09:01,240
Speaker 4: The world okay, so you pull the world and the

1420
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 4: world says completion, integration, accomplishment, travel. It says here that

1421
01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:13,600
Speaker 4: when the World Card appears in a tarror reading, you

1422
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:17,559
Speaker 4: are glowing with a sense of wholeness, achievement, fulfillment, and completion.

1423
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:22,000
Speaker 4: A long term project, period of steady relationship or career

1424
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,640
Speaker 4: has come full circle, and you are now reveling in

1425
01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 4: the sense of closure and accomplishment. This car can represent graduation,

1426
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,880
Speaker 4: a marriage, the birth of a child, or achieving a

1427
01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:34,800
Speaker 4: long term a long held dream or aspiration. You have

1428
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:37,880
Speaker 4: finally accomplished your goal or purpose. Everything has come together

1429
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:40,519
Speaker 4: and you're in the right place, doing the right thing,

1430
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,400
Speaker 4: achieving a wait, would happened?

1431
01:09:44,360 --> 01:09:46,200
Speaker 1: I was just going are in the right place? You're

1432
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:46,880
Speaker 1: right here with us?

1433
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 3: That policy this juju?

1434
01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:59,240
Speaker 4: Sorry, guys, and I I can't see.

1435
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,400
Speaker 1: See I can but.

1436
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:07,160
Speaker 3: Spread it spread.

1437
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,680
Speaker 4: Okay, I found it. I found it. I'm kind of

1438
01:10:09,840 --> 01:10:13,400
Speaker 4: worried there for a minute. You have finally accomplished your

1439
01:10:13,439 --> 01:10:15,920
Speaker 4: goal or purpose. Everything has come together and you're in

1440
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,800
Speaker 4: the right place, doing the right thing, achieving what you

1441
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:22,719
Speaker 4: have envisioned. You feel whole and complete now. The World

1442
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:26,400
Speaker 4: Card invites you to reflect on your journey, honor your achievements,

1443
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:30,479
Speaker 4: celebrate your success by getting your naval re pierced, and

1444
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,799
Speaker 4: bask in the joy of having brought your goals to fruition.

1445
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:37,280
Speaker 4: All the triumphs and tribulations along your path have made

1446
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:41,200
Speaker 4: you into the strong, wise, more experienced person you are now.

1447
01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 4: Express gratitude for what you have created and harvested.

1448
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:51,080
Speaker 2: I feel that gratitude speaking of Okay, okay, real quick,

1449
01:10:51,400 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 2: I just want to do something I need to put

1450
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:58,679
Speaker 2: put on for the only children out there, Okay, because

1451
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:03,840
Speaker 2: we are out here. I just want to say, and

1452
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:07,439
Speaker 2: I was also homeschool So a lot of people think

1453
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:11,400
Speaker 2: that only especially only children, but children at a homeschool

1454
01:11:11,439 --> 01:11:14,439
Speaker 2: are not properly socialized, and we're awkward and we're weird.

1455
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:15,960
Speaker 3: However, I would.

1456
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:18,240
Speaker 2: Get a oh you are when I would tell people

1457
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:20,920
Speaker 2: that I was, because I didn't. So I just made

1458
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:24,400
Speaker 2: a list of some of the ways that I was socialized,

1459
01:11:24,439 --> 01:11:27,479
Speaker 2: and I'd like to read that for you. So, my

1460
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:32,160
Speaker 2: parents socialize me, My cousins, are my relatives, family reunions,

1461
01:11:32,520 --> 01:11:37,799
Speaker 2: kids in my neighborhood, church, other homeschool kids, other adults.

1462
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:43,160
Speaker 2: Cleveland Institute of Music for Movement, Cleveland. I'm sorry, Christian Music,

1463
01:11:43,880 --> 01:11:50,440
Speaker 2: Christian music academy and piano recitals, Cleveland, Payhouse Square for acting, skating, rinks, barbershops,

1464
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:56,719
Speaker 2: discoveries on Chuck e Cheese, martial arts, poetry scene, open mics, concerts, theater,

1465
01:11:57,000 --> 01:12:02,400
Speaker 2: theme parks, traveling, driving, school days, groups, the ballroom scene, clubs,

1466
01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 2: various jobs, bartending, school group projects, museums.

1467
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:09,200
Speaker 3: Yoga, school and social media.

1468
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:15,480
Speaker 2: I was socialized, and then as far as the accumulated

1469
01:12:15,560 --> 01:12:20,960
Speaker 2: life skills and various practices, we have critical thinking, doing

1470
01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:26,360
Speaker 2: laundry and ironing at six, exceptional hygiene, basic cooking by

1471
01:12:26,439 --> 01:12:29,920
Speaker 2: ten years old. Money management, opening up a bank account,

1472
01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:32,400
Speaker 2: building credit. My mom added me on her credit card

1473
01:12:32,439 --> 01:12:37,200
Speaker 2: as a teenager. Reading and literature and reading comprehension, how

1474
01:12:37,280 --> 01:12:41,200
Speaker 2: to hook up and connect things, Emotional intelligence, not reacting

1475
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:44,679
Speaker 2: to words, thinking before I act, Sexual health and education

1476
01:12:44,880 --> 01:12:51,719
Speaker 2: that took a village, Mutual respect, eye contact, manners, empathy

1477
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:55,439
Speaker 2: for others, How to be a friend, accountability, how to

1478
01:12:55,560 --> 01:13:02,719
Speaker 2: ask for help, listening, work, ethic vehicular compt prehension, accountability, kindness,

1479
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:18,439
Speaker 2: boundaries forgiveness, damage control, grace, stability, therapy, compassion, trust, vulnerability, discernment, discipline, compartmentalization, gratitude.

1480
01:13:17,880 --> 01:13:19,000
Speaker 3: And of course, since.

1481
01:13:22,200 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 2: We were socialized in a way that was not the

1482
01:13:26,320 --> 01:13:29,800
Speaker 2: normal way. And at first I didn't appreciate it, you know,

1483
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:33,360
Speaker 2: when I was younger. But now seeing how all these

1484
01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:36,080
Speaker 2: things have I still utilized these things and they have

1485
01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:38,800
Speaker 2: made not only have they opened doors for me, but

1486
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:40,960
Speaker 2: they've allowed me to create my own.

1487
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:42,200
Speaker 3: Doors to be able to walk through.

1488
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:46,600
Speaker 4: Most importantly, ain't nothing like.

1489
01:13:48,520 --> 01:14:00,479
Speaker 1: Build yourself save game, building yourself, Bob the builder for reh.

1490
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:02,760
Speaker 4: Make the lane, get in it. It's yours because you

1491
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:05,400
Speaker 4: created it. Build the building in which you do it in.

1492
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:09,719
Speaker 4: Buy the equipment. Okay, decorate that thiing and do whatever

1493
01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:12,400
Speaker 4: the fuck you want with it because it's yours and

1494
01:14:12,479 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 4: you made it. And now look everybody loved it because

1495
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:15,479
Speaker 4: they didn't know they need this door.

1496
01:14:15,640 --> 01:14:18,960
Speaker 3: Nobody else's baby, nobody is.

1497
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:23,600
Speaker 1: Your shout out to Sherlen and I want to come

1498
01:14:23,640 --> 01:14:24,240
Speaker 1: over for dinner.

1499
01:14:24,479 --> 01:14:31,879
Speaker 3: You know they're in Cleveland, seeing them like together.

1500
01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:36,320
Speaker 2: You see where all of the stuff is, See where

1501
01:14:36,360 --> 01:14:38,519
Speaker 2: I get it from. Oh my god, My mother is

1502
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,280
Speaker 2: a smart ass. Father is just a jokester.

1503
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:43,320
Speaker 1: Like just.

1504
01:14:51,560 --> 01:14:53,519
Speaker 2: You know, sometimes how you feel you you wish you

1505
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:57,000
Speaker 2: could bottle something up and sell it because it's that good,

1506
01:14:57,200 --> 01:15:02,320
Speaker 2: Like you, if I could just bottle them up in

1507
01:15:02,680 --> 01:15:07,080
Speaker 2: how they move, how they treat people, you know, like

1508
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:10,400
Speaker 2: a bottle that up so that other folks could experience that,

1509
01:15:10,520 --> 01:15:15,720
Speaker 2: because yeah, it's a beautiful thing when you realize, like

1510
01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:19,639
Speaker 2: how how everything has not been the same for everyone.

1511
01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:22,680
Speaker 2: And even in my like I said, even in my

1512
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:27,559
Speaker 2: own journey, trying to extend what I had for others,

1513
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:31,800
Speaker 2: you know, because I felt like, oh, wow, you don't

1514
01:15:31,880 --> 01:15:34,760
Speaker 2: have pops you know that would encourage you or check

1515
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:36,600
Speaker 2: up on you, and you know, and it's like my

1516
01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:39,960
Speaker 2: dad calling my grown ass homies, you know, asking how

1517
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:43,519
Speaker 2: they're doing, you know, tapping in, you know, so that

1518
01:15:43,680 --> 01:15:47,479
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. It becomes the father figure that or

1519
01:15:47,479 --> 01:15:50,120
Speaker 2: an additional father figure. You know.

1520
01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:53,200
Speaker 4: For sure, you're the product of like what it looks

1521
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:57,960
Speaker 4: like to be raised in a safe space, you know,

1522
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:02,040
Speaker 4: and I think people under a make safety and then

1523
01:16:02,120 --> 01:16:04,120
Speaker 4: you get into relationships that are not safe because it

1524
01:16:04,200 --> 01:16:08,200
Speaker 4: reflects the unsafe space that you were created in and

1525
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:10,800
Speaker 4: raised in and grown up in. And so you're constantly

1526
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:14,959
Speaker 4: seeking something that you don't even you've never been provided,

1527
01:16:15,439 --> 01:16:18,439
Speaker 4: you've never felt. And so then you have you know,

1528
01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:21,160
Speaker 4: friends that are like they see an example and that

1529
01:16:21,240 --> 01:16:24,280
Speaker 4: they project, especially being probably teenagers or kids like not

1530
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:26,720
Speaker 4: understanding how to process that. Like I thought this ship

1531
01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:30,040
Speaker 4: was only what you see on TV, but like you

1532
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:33,800
Speaker 4: are the product of like growing up with parents that

1533
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:36,400
Speaker 4: loved each other and are like a real true love

1534
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:40,599
Speaker 4: and also extended that safety so it's boundless. You never

1535
01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:42,479
Speaker 4: felt like you couldn't be yourself, you know, you never

1536
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:44,240
Speaker 4: felt like like, oh I can go get my namel peers.

1537
01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:46,280
Speaker 4: Oh I could go like I don't know care what

1538
01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:48,080
Speaker 4: everyone else is doing. This is what I'm gonna do

1539
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:52,600
Speaker 4: because I've been I've literally you've been cultivated in a

1540
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:56,080
Speaker 4: safe haven, and then that gives the child the confidence

1541
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:59,360
Speaker 4: to go out and feel safe in their body, whoever

1542
01:16:59,560 --> 01:17:04,920
Speaker 4: they are sexually, fucking wardrobe, musically, creatively, I could do

1543
01:17:04,960 --> 01:17:06,880
Speaker 4: this and this. I'm make this list because I want to.

1544
01:17:07,680 --> 01:17:10,280
Speaker 4: You are not You are not programming your child to

1545
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:15,040
Speaker 4: go out into the world and become essentially like a machine,

1546
01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:18,040
Speaker 4: a limited version of themselves, such a such a contained

1547
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:21,080
Speaker 4: version of yourself when you're and like like it's beautiful

1548
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:23,960
Speaker 4: to see like you know, just love cultivated through you

1549
01:17:24,080 --> 01:17:26,240
Speaker 4: and just how you come, how you show up in yourself,

1550
01:17:26,320 --> 01:17:28,360
Speaker 4: you know, and like how comfortable you are in your

1551
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:33,080
Speaker 4: skin and I think that like that's that that's like

1552
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:36,360
Speaker 4: you can see the safety, you know, and it's so

1553
01:17:36,400 --> 01:17:38,960
Speaker 4: beautiful to see and people underestimate. And I'm so glad

1554
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:40,680
Speaker 4: we get to talk to so many moms listening to

1555
01:17:40,800 --> 01:17:43,000
Speaker 4: this right now because it can I love, like, I

1556
01:17:43,120 --> 01:17:46,960
Speaker 4: hope this conversation makes you like sit and say, huh am,

1557
01:17:47,040 --> 01:17:51,120
Speaker 4: I really cultivating a safe space for my child because ultimately,

1558
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:53,639
Speaker 4: as parents is like, you know, the world, like you said,

1559
01:17:53,760 --> 01:17:56,640
Speaker 4: like it's fucked up. Yeah, And the very least thing

1560
01:17:56,720 --> 01:18:01,040
Speaker 4: we could do is make soldiers of joy and peace

1561
01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:06,000
Speaker 4: and wellness and happiness. That is the antidote to this chaos,

1562
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:11,599
Speaker 4: to this this absolute fuckery that's happening, is creating children

1563
01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:18,920
Speaker 4: that are, you know, just emotionally intelligent and mature and

1564
01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:20,840
Speaker 4: compassionate and free.

1565
01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:23,080
Speaker 3: And I would like to.

1566
01:18:23,080 --> 01:18:26,920
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to interrupt. I would like to say possessing

1567
01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:30,559
Speaker 2: emotional intelligence. And I like to use that word over

1568
01:18:30,640 --> 01:18:34,760
Speaker 2: saying I'm emotionally intelligent because I feel with being having

1569
01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:38,080
Speaker 2: the intelligence, it gives room for things to fluctuate.

1570
01:18:37,840 --> 01:18:41,599
Speaker 1: It gives room for error, for error, Yeah, so yeah,

1571
01:18:41,720 --> 01:18:44,320
Speaker 1: I think it's just like, you know, your parents are

1572
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:48,840
Speaker 1: paying forward essentially, like because while you're here and you're

1573
01:18:48,880 --> 01:18:52,360
Speaker 1: in this existence, like you might as well create spaces

1574
01:18:52,400 --> 01:18:55,320
Speaker 1: where you're actually healing whatever the past traumas work. Because

1575
01:18:55,320 --> 01:18:57,120
Speaker 1: I don't know what their parents were like. You know,

1576
01:18:57,439 --> 01:19:01,040
Speaker 1: maybe they were amazing parents as well. But harmonically you

1577
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:06,160
Speaker 1: are creating just this, You're creating good and joy that

1578
01:19:06,240 --> 01:19:09,080
Speaker 1: can be passed on and where you see legacies and

1579
01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:12,280
Speaker 1: people that are just consistently in a fucked up position

1580
01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:15,479
Speaker 1: because they are not learning the lesson of life and

1581
01:19:15,640 --> 01:19:18,880
Speaker 1: every lifetime is inheriting is a repeat.

1582
01:19:19,360 --> 01:19:22,680
Speaker 4: And you when you are, when you're speaking of your

1583
01:19:22,720 --> 01:19:25,760
Speaker 4: parents and just meeting you now, it's like you've done

1584
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:28,120
Speaker 4: the due diligence. The due diligence is happening, you know

1585
01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:30,760
Speaker 4: what I mean. It's it just is you don't even

1586
01:19:30,800 --> 01:19:34,759
Speaker 4: have to try, it's just within you. And that's that's beautiful.

1587
01:19:34,880 --> 01:19:39,080
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful expression and experience for you and your legacy.

1588
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:41,559
Speaker 1: And I can't wait to see how you pay it forward.

1589
01:19:41,640 --> 01:19:43,479
Speaker 1: I hear how you pay it forward with your voice

1590
01:19:43,760 --> 01:19:46,439
Speaker 1: and your artistry and which you project to the world.

1591
01:19:46,640 --> 01:19:49,120
Speaker 1: So I'm just really excited to see how it continues

1592
01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:52,160
Speaker 1: to flourish and manifest for you.

1593
01:19:52,520 --> 01:19:58,120
Speaker 2: I will say I got a revamp of that what

1594
01:19:58,320 --> 01:20:01,040
Speaker 2: that could look like on a big your scale. When

1595
01:20:01,080 --> 01:20:02,759
Speaker 2: I got a chance to open up for a BADU

1596
01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:05,280
Speaker 2: on this past tour because I was doing backgrounds, but

1597
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:09,919
Speaker 2: I also opened up two dates in Newark and Norfolk

1598
01:20:10,080 --> 01:20:12,240
Speaker 2: because I haven't hit those cities. I wasn't going to

1599
01:20:12,320 --> 01:20:14,320
Speaker 2: hit them on the new days and I didn't hit

1600
01:20:14,360 --> 01:20:17,240
Speaker 2: them on the earlier days. And to be in an

1601
01:20:17,280 --> 01:20:20,040
Speaker 2: arena that far away from people, I'm usually in a

1602
01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:22,400
Speaker 2: theater or in a club, and I'm able to touch

1603
01:20:22,479 --> 01:20:27,000
Speaker 2: people and be close. And I was wondering how I

1604
01:20:27,160 --> 01:20:29,080
Speaker 2: was going to translate some of the things that I

1605
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:32,200
Speaker 2: do because it does feel like a group therapy session.

1606
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:33,240
Speaker 3: It feels like a kickback.

1607
01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:36,599
Speaker 2: It feels like we're all here, you know, just enjoying

1608
01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:39,240
Speaker 2: one another's company, like a family reunion.

1609
01:20:39,680 --> 01:20:42,240
Speaker 3: So how will that translate in an arena?

1610
01:20:43,200 --> 01:20:47,559
Speaker 2: And it was when I have people say, I said,

1611
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:51,400
Speaker 2: when I say fuck humble, you say it's given gratitude.

1612
01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:54,200
Speaker 2: So I repeat it that twice and I asked the room,

1613
01:20:54,479 --> 01:20:57,479
Speaker 2: do you know what the word humble means and they said,

1614
01:20:57,560 --> 01:20:59,200
Speaker 2: you know, I'm like, I'm so glad that you asked.

1615
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:03,639
Speaker 2: Being humble means to is having a lower, modest estimate

1616
01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:07,280
Speaker 2: of one's own importance. And I said, not be goddamn

1617
01:21:07,320 --> 01:21:08,880
Speaker 2: if I'm going to be humble looking away, I love

1618
01:21:08,960 --> 01:21:12,759
Speaker 2: being who I am, what I've been through, I said, Instead,

1619
01:21:12,840 --> 01:21:16,559
Speaker 2: I operate in gratitude, and gratitude is to extend kindness

1620
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:18,639
Speaker 2: and to be thankful. And you can be both those

1621
01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:22,679
Speaker 2: things without having your head held low trying to be humble,

1622
01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:26,280
Speaker 2: you know, and so or having them turn to each

1623
01:21:26,320 --> 01:21:27,880
Speaker 2: other and say, turn to your neighbor and say I'm

1624
01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:29,679
Speaker 2: proud of you, turn to your other neighbors.

1625
01:21:29,920 --> 01:21:30,800
Speaker 1: It's not one or the other.

1626
01:21:31,280 --> 01:21:35,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's a it's it's a thing

1627
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:38,200
Speaker 2: that I can have the whole room interact with each other.

1628
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:40,920
Speaker 2: And so that felt like it was intimate. It felt

1629
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,840
Speaker 2: like I was able to touch them even though I

1630
01:21:42,960 --> 01:21:45,439
Speaker 2: was far away. So that felt good.

1631
01:21:45,720 --> 01:21:48,280
Speaker 1: That's dope. That's dope. So are you what are you

1632
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:49,840
Speaker 1: going on tour? Are you on tour?

1633
01:21:49,920 --> 01:21:50,240
Speaker 3: Right now?

1634
01:21:50,479 --> 01:21:51,559
Speaker 1: Where can I am?

1635
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:54,880
Speaker 2: So by the time this is out, I will be

1636
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:57,839
Speaker 2: on the road I'm going to be gone all September.

1637
01:21:59,320 --> 01:22:04,640
Speaker 2: I'm hitting like Florida, Athens, Georgia, We're doing the Carolinas,

1638
01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:10,919
Speaker 2: gonna do Milwaukee, Kansas City, we got Detroit, Columbus, Ohio, Nashville,

1639
01:22:10,960 --> 01:22:14,160
Speaker 2: and Memphis. Uh so we're just hitting some of those

1640
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:19,120
Speaker 2: Southeast cities. And then in November, I'm going overseas to

1641
01:22:19,200 --> 01:22:21,120
Speaker 2: do my first international tour.

1642
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:23,960
Speaker 1: That's amazing.

1643
01:22:24,400 --> 01:22:32,360
Speaker 2: We're hitting Paris, London, Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Belgium.

1644
01:22:33,240 --> 01:22:33,679
Speaker 4: Amazing.

1645
01:22:33,840 --> 01:22:35,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm gonna be over there for the whole month.

1646
01:22:35,800 --> 01:22:36,799
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm excited.

1647
01:22:36,960 --> 01:22:40,520
Speaker 1: Live your life, honey, spread your magic baby.

1648
01:22:41,960 --> 01:22:42,360
Speaker 3: To a show.

1649
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:46,320
Speaker 4: Please, yes, yes, I definitely want to come see you.

1650
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:49,360
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for coming.

1651
01:22:50,200 --> 01:22:52,040
Speaker 3: So I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

1652
01:22:52,280 --> 01:22:53,120
Speaker 1: This is wonderful.

1653
01:22:53,439 --> 01:22:55,000
Speaker 2: And I would just like to say too that I'm

1654
01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:59,160
Speaker 2: proud of you ladies, you know, just doing your show.

1655
01:22:59,520 --> 01:23:02,200
Speaker 2: I've been a you know, just keeping my eyes peeled

1656
01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:05,040
Speaker 2: to the ground and you know, but uh as far

1657
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,800
Speaker 2: as the podcast, and I'm just glad that you guys

1658
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:09,080
Speaker 2: are still doing it and being able to get it

1659
01:23:09,160 --> 01:23:12,320
Speaker 2: to where it is now. And yeah, I'm glad we

1660
01:23:12,400 --> 01:23:13,639
Speaker 2: got a chance to sit and chat.

1661
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:16,559
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I appreciate that. And we're friends

1662
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:21,200
Speaker 4: and I were stuck with that. We're gonna we're gonna

1663
01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:21,519
Speaker 4: hang out.

1664
01:23:21,720 --> 01:23:24,400
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'm still here for that. We got so much

1665
01:23:24,439 --> 01:23:31,240
Speaker 3: stuff to let me know what you wait, did see

1666
01:23:31,280 --> 01:23:34,400
Speaker 3: my sock? Se my socks? I got my snoopy.

1667
01:23:35,640 --> 01:23:37,360
Speaker 1: Look, we're ready to go, ready to go?

1668
01:23:39,080 --> 01:23:40,160
Speaker 4: Oh wait, do you have a whoy?

1669
01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:41,200
Speaker 3: What's that?

1670
01:23:41,720 --> 01:23:45,240
Speaker 4: It's like a very high level host story, like when

1671
01:23:45,280 --> 01:23:47,360
Speaker 4: you're just like being a high level home. Maybe it

1672
01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:48,759
Speaker 4: was scary, maybe it was great.

1673
01:23:49,600 --> 01:23:53,400
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, Okay, So I don't want to call this

1674
01:23:53,760 --> 01:23:57,320
Speaker 3: like a whole story. Well, first of all, whole.

1675
01:23:57,520 --> 01:24:00,200
Speaker 2: Is an acronym for happiness, off for everything. So I was,

1676
01:24:00,280 --> 01:24:02,800
Speaker 2: you know, make sure that my happiness is a priority.

1677
01:24:05,280 --> 01:24:09,680
Speaker 2: But I will say that there was a time where huh,

1678
01:24:09,840 --> 01:24:10,120
Speaker 2: I was.

1679
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:11,120
Speaker 3: Like, wait, we're here again.

1680
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:14,920
Speaker 4: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Sometimes you

1681
01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:16,280
Speaker 4: just gotta have that ass.

1682
01:24:16,280 --> 01:24:19,880
Speaker 1: You know, yes, you don't want to be a vibe killer.

1683
01:24:20,760 --> 01:24:22,439
Speaker 3: That part it was just it was just too perfect.

1684
01:24:22,439 --> 01:24:23,720
Speaker 2: I couldn't even think about what was going on the

1685
01:24:23,760 --> 01:24:25,519
Speaker 2: side of that party.

1686
01:24:25,920 --> 01:24:27,439
Speaker 1: You got to you gotta just go with the joy.

1687
01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:31,320
Speaker 1: You gotta prioritize your vibe, your joy.

1688
01:24:31,479 --> 01:24:32,400
Speaker 4: Sometimes your vibes are.

1689
01:24:32,280 --> 01:24:35,599
Speaker 1: Not gonna be prioritizing yourself. You choose yourself in that moment,

1690
01:24:35,720 --> 01:24:36,400
Speaker 1: and I'm proud of you.

1691
01:24:36,439 --> 01:24:37,120
Speaker 4: I am proud of you.

1692
01:24:37,439 --> 01:24:39,680
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you too. You did the right You

1693
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:40,280
Speaker 1: did the right thing.

1694
01:24:40,360 --> 01:24:42,880
Speaker 4: You did. I it wasn't even your.

1695
01:24:44,479 --> 01:24:46,080
Speaker 1: Story.

1696
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:50,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was very honest of you. Listen, this is

1697
01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:56,240
Speaker 4: what's happening, you know, because you're right there. Tell the

1698
01:24:56,280 --> 01:24:57,360
Speaker 4: people where they can find you.

1699
01:24:57,600 --> 01:25:00,360
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, so you can find me on Instagram. Twitter.

1700
01:25:01,240 --> 01:25:03,519
Speaker 3: Uh spill, what's spilled?

1701
01:25:03,560 --> 01:25:09,400
Speaker 2: TikTok, it's like spilt, it's we're black Twitter allegedly migrated because.

1702
01:25:09,200 --> 01:25:12,599
Speaker 1: Oh wait I remember that kind of different.

1703
01:25:12,720 --> 01:25:13,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so.

1704
01:25:13,320 --> 01:25:16,639
Speaker 2: It's just if I can't take another app lord AnyWho.

1705
01:25:16,800 --> 01:25:20,400
Speaker 2: Duran Bernard, that's d u arera a n d b

1706
01:25:20,760 --> 01:25:24,479
Speaker 2: e arera n a Aura Aura. And that's your favorite

1707
01:25:24,520 --> 01:25:27,040
Speaker 2: cousin your dad's side in the not so Quiet storm.

1708
01:25:27,080 --> 01:25:30,080
Speaker 2: Please make sure that y'all check out my tiny desk okay,

1709
01:25:30,720 --> 01:25:33,799
Speaker 2: uh m p Aurra we just cracked a million views.

1710
01:25:34,400 --> 01:25:38,599
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, and y'all can check out my my latest

1711
01:25:38,640 --> 01:25:41,439
Speaker 2: two projects. Duran the self title. That's du Arera and

1712
01:25:41,520 --> 01:25:45,519
Speaker 2: an ampersand uh. And then we have Wanda Lust Uh

1713
01:25:45,960 --> 01:25:46,720
Speaker 2: that we just put out.

1714
01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:49,000
Speaker 3: So yeah, and check me.

1715
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:50,680
Speaker 2: Out on the road, y'all. Whenever I'm coming to a

1716
01:25:50,720 --> 01:25:53,839
Speaker 2: city near you. I'm doing sol Bloom in Sacramento August twentieth.

1717
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:58,920
Speaker 2: I'm doing Afropunk in Brooklyn on the twenty sixth August.

1718
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:01,760
Speaker 2: I want to go to oh oh, and I'm also

1719
01:26:01,840 --> 01:26:04,679
Speaker 2: doing one music fest in Atlanta at the end of October.

1720
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:07,679
Speaker 2: Kendrick and Janet are headliner.

1721
01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:11,920
Speaker 4: Oh just Janet.

1722
01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:14,439
Speaker 1: We need to do redo, Janet, Babe, I might get

1723
01:26:14,479 --> 01:26:16,360
Speaker 1: the tickets, Okay, I would make it up to you.

1724
01:26:18,360 --> 01:26:21,040
Speaker 4: Let me know your wife is pitch. Your wife has

1725
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:25,839
Speaker 4: been pissed for one year Janet for hers Oh no anyway,

1726
01:26:27,439 --> 01:26:30,840
Speaker 4: or has been in the same sense every time brings

1727
01:26:30,880 --> 01:26:33,160
Speaker 4: up Jane every time I see her billboard on my

1728
01:26:38,400 --> 01:26:40,920
Speaker 4: oh my god. Oh. You guys know where to find

1729
01:26:41,040 --> 01:26:46,280
Speaker 4: us Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices and on Patreon backslash

1730
01:26:46,360 --> 01:26:50,040
Speaker 4: Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices. We are also going on tour,

1731
01:26:50,160 --> 01:26:53,040
Speaker 4: you guys. We're going to be in La October twenty

1732
01:26:53,120 --> 01:27:00,280
Speaker 4: first at the Taro Gram Tara Tara Graham Ballroom, ball Room.

1733
01:27:01,400 --> 01:27:03,960
Speaker 4: Order your houccie ship now because it's going down.

1734
01:27:04,160 --> 01:27:06,800
Speaker 1: Confessions of a Good Mom. Make sure you call our

1735
01:27:06,880 --> 01:27:09,160
Speaker 1: hotline if you have a horri that you want to share,

1736
01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:11,840
Speaker 1: because we need more hories. We want to know all

1737
01:27:11,880 --> 01:27:14,640
Speaker 1: your host shit. And this is a safe space. This

1738
01:27:14,720 --> 01:27:17,120
Speaker 1: is a safe space. It's anonymous, So unless you don't

1739
01:27:17,120 --> 01:27:17,360
Speaker 1: want to.

1740
01:27:17,360 --> 01:27:22,120
Speaker 4: Be here, we celebrate your wholeus HO first, heal later, No,

1741
01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:26,000
Speaker 4: heal first, ho later, whatever order, you do it and

1742
01:27:26,080 --> 01:27:26,720
Speaker 4: we accept it.

1743
01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:32,720
Speaker 1: We know where to find us. We love you, We

1744
01:27:32,960 --> 01:27:54,160
Speaker 1: Hi bye bye. This is.

1745
01:28:00,000 --> 01:28:00,880
Speaker 4: The less it. Stay lost.