1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff You Should Know, a production of My 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:12,719 Speaker 1: Heart Radios How Stuff Works. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. 3 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: I'm Josh Clark. There's Charles Duby, Choke Bryant, there's Jerry 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: over there, and this is Stuff You Should Know jerodcast. Jerry. 5 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: Were you a what was your birth order? Oh, Jerry's 6 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: a middle child, two of two or two of more. 7 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: So you're the baby. You don't know this, did you? Sure? No? 8 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: I know Jerry for like thirteen years, so have I? Well, 9 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: not that long twelve years, So have I no comment? 10 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:49,519 Speaker 1: What am I? I don't know? That's right, I know what. 11 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: I'm the baby? You know that. Yeah, I didn't ask 12 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: what you were. I know you know what you are? 13 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: What am I? This isn't quits not You're not gonna 14 00:00:56,040 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: just yea. Yeah, I wasn't calling you out. I was 15 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: calling you out in a humorous way. And I called 16 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: you out. Um. It's hard not to look at this 17 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: stuff through your own lens though, of your own family. 18 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: You know, are you changing the subject? I don't know. 19 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: I'm getting on with it because as the youngest of three, 20 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: and all of us have three distinct personalities, it's hard 21 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: not to kind of like think about birth order and 22 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 1: if that's a thing, and it may be and it 23 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 1: may not be. Yeah, depends on which scientists you're asking. 24 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: I tend to think like, there's just no way it 25 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 1: doesn't have any effect. Now there, I think it definitely 26 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: has an effect. But as we will see, it is 27 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: one part of a huge pie that uh that indicates 28 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 1: what kind of person and personality you might have. Well. 29 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: Plus also it's devilishly tricky to to analyze, to study 30 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: because of how big that pie is. Yeah, there's so 31 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: much going on with your personality that to just pinpoint 32 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: one thing, even a big thing like that where you're 33 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: born in a family, um, it's just tough to pin down. 34 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 1: So you're the youngest, right, good yess? Yes I am. 35 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 1: I knew you were the youngest. I'm like, I wear 36 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: that on my sleeve. I feel like I kind of 37 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: do too a lot, I guess in some ways. But 38 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: like I was reading this checklist for the youngest, Yeah, 39 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I guess. So let's let's let's do 40 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: should we go over that that stuff first? Yeah? Totally 41 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: all right. So this is like the sort of macro 42 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: view of how a lot of people think of birth 43 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: order pop psychology. Yeah, so if you were born into 44 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: a family, there's basically four ways that you can be 45 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: born in some sort of order. You can be the firstborn, 46 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 1: you can be a middle child, or you can be 47 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: the last born. And then if you're real out fire. Okay, 48 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: you're right, So there's five oh god, don't even get 49 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: me started. Um, okay, a multi um or you can 50 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: be an only child too, and all of them have 51 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: distinct personalities. Again according to pop psychology, but also according 52 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 1: to every person who's ever been born into a family, 53 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,360 Speaker 1: especially and so with the first born um, the whole 54 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,799 Speaker 1: the whole theory of basically birth order, where where you're 55 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: born into the family unit that you're born into, and 56 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: what effect that has on your personality and how it develops. 57 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: It all seems to come down to this idea that 58 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: you are born into a family where there is a 59 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: finite resource called parental attention, and then that is a 60 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: pie that gets increasingly divided up into smaller and smaller 61 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 1: pieces the more and more children that are born, because 62 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: your parents can't possibly give five kids the same amount 63 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: of attention that they could give an only child. It's 64 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: just not possible. And so what dynamics are created in 65 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: the personality of the kids born into that family depending 66 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: on how many others are born and depending on where 67 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: they fall in that birth order. That's kind of the 68 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: premise of the whole thing. And over time people have said, well, 69 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: this is what the first point is like, this is 70 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: what the middle is like, this is what the baby's like. Yeah, 71 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: and there were I mean a lot of this are 72 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: these are generalizations, but they are generalizations. Like you said 73 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: that kind of everyone who's ever been in a family 74 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: can kind of say, yeah, that's kind of true. Um, 75 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: you know when you have an only or your first kid, 76 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: they this article references as that first sort of experiment. 77 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 1: You don't know what you're doing yet. Um, you're probably 78 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: going all in, depending on how lazy you are, how 79 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: motivated you are as a parent with this, you know, 80 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: being a super parent. And then if supposedly as you 81 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: have more children you get it's not only is your 82 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 1: is your attention divided? I think, but there's the notion 83 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: that you also are like, you know what, a probably 84 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 1: don't need to be as crazy with number two and 85 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: number three, Um, leave them to their own devices. As 86 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: a third kid, I'm not going to get into too 87 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 1: many depressing details of my family growing up, but like 88 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: by the time I was ten and eleven and my 89 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: parents had other things going on, and I wasn't fair 90 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: old kids on the side. Not exactly, Um, I wasn't 91 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: fair old by any means, but I was. I did 92 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 1: not have rules imposed on me like my brother and 93 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: sister did. I did not have I was allowed to 94 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: go to Panama City for spring break and they weren't. 95 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: I was allowed to kind of do my own thing, 96 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 1: and I was trustworthy, So that probably had a lot 97 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 1: to do with it. If I would have been a 98 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: real problem, they might have clamped down a little more, 99 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 1: or maybe not. And they probably wouldn't have necessarily clamped down, 100 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: like we need to give Chuck Way more attention and 101 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: guidance than we have been. They would have probably been 102 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: like crime and punishment. They would have been, like we're saying, 103 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: in Chuck the rehab or whatever her you know what 104 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,679 Speaker 1: I mean, Let rehab take care of our reform school 105 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: or something like that, because once you get X number 106 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: of kids in, you're just so tired, so tired, and 107 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: you're older too, Like when you're chasing a little kid 108 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: around and like your forties or fifties. That's different than 109 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: when you're chasing a little kid around in your mid twenties. 110 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: I can't imagine a world of difference, you know. Um, 111 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: So there's there's there. There's a lot of resources, not 112 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: just you know, parents attention, but also their time, intellectual 113 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: attention that they'll give a kid like and say, um, 114 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: like hanging out, teaching the kid to read that kind 115 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: of stuff. Um, and just attention in general, and also 116 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:44,679 Speaker 1: financial resources the families. Resources in general are a pie 117 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: that must be divided among all financial, emotional, all that 118 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 1: stuff instructive. Uh. So, generally speaking, firstborn's, people say, tend 119 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: to be very conscientious and structured and reliable. Uh and 120 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:04,279 Speaker 1: high achieve high achiever. Yeah, because their parents are focusing 121 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,799 Speaker 1: like a laser on them. They know everything that kids 122 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 1: got going on, maybe a little too much. Um. And 123 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: the kid is responding to this by basically becoming a 124 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: perfectionist and really wanting to be around their parents. Um 125 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: and and um. Their parents friends sure very much mature 126 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: because they're all of the people are most of the 127 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: people are hanging out with our adults. Okay, so that's 128 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: the firstborn typically, right, everybody knows it. Don't try to 129 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: deny middles in general are people pleasing? Which is so 130 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: my brother. Um, that's weird to me because when I 131 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: think of middle children, I think of jam Brady, and 132 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: jam Brady was not a people pleaser. She was just 133 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: you know, a lump, like a lump with a cloud overhead, 134 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 1: poor Jan. But that's true, Like I would not characterize 135 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: Jan Brady as a people pleaser, would you know? Like 136 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: she was gonna burn some thing down and eventually if 137 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: the Brady bunchet stayed on the air long enough. Was 138 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: also a blended family. So what was who was the 139 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: It was Bobby and then Peter later, I guess you'd 140 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: call it was he was he a people pleaser or 141 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: just a Peter Jan more than Jan. But blended families 142 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: do confound things. We'll get into that for sure. Um. 143 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 1: But people pleasing, Uh, somewhat rebellious, which is not my 144 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: brother at all. Um, large social circle, not really my 145 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 1: brother and a peacemaker, totally my brother. He's the best, 146 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 1: He's the best. Uh. And then the young things, younges, 147 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: young uns like us, Um, most free spirited, fun loving, uncomplicated, manipulative. 148 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: I've I've been called some of these things varying degrees, 149 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 1: self centered, attention seeking and outgoing check and check. But 150 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: on combined you and I and we're sort of like 151 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: the proto youngest complicated. Though I'm like, I don't get that. 152 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm exquisitely complicated on the surface. You wouldn't 153 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 1: think it, but I'm pretty complicated as we all know 154 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: in this room. But that's the only one that I'm 155 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:15,719 Speaker 1: like that I question. Yeah. All the rest of them 156 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 1: are like, yeah, that makes sense. Looks like the Chinese zodiac. 157 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: You look at that menu and you're like, um, total 158 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: dog yes, and movie guy pants sounds great right now. 159 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: Only these no siblings. You are what they call almost 160 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: like a super firstborn. All of the traits of the 161 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: firstborn on steroids, very much perfectionists, very much more mature 162 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: for your age, conscientious, diligent, prone to be leader, can 163 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:49,679 Speaker 1: leap over tall buildings. Uh. And then this is where 164 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 1: it gets interesting, and this sort of starts to finally, everybody, 165 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: this is where it starts to get interested. Well, this 166 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: is where it gets in a little bit like how 167 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: complicated it can get because there's so many factors that 168 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:04,720 Speaker 1: play like Um, what if you're in a blended family, 169 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: because that kind of throws it all out of whack. Yeah, 170 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: if you're born a firstborn and you your parents your 171 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: your parents get divorce and your you go with your 172 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: mom who gets remarried to a dude who has yes 173 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: to a smashing cool architect for sure. Um, and he 174 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: has a kid that's a little older than you. Greg's 175 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: the firstborn. You're not the firstborn anymore. The best you 176 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,439 Speaker 1: can hope for is to form some sort of confederacy 177 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,199 Speaker 1: or alliance with Greg to rule the rest of the siblings. 178 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: But you're not the head Hans show anymore. You're not 179 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: in charge. That's a big deal. I can't imagine many 180 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: more traumatic experiences, especially when that follows closely on the 181 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: heels of your parents divorced or the death of like 182 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,199 Speaker 1: your other parents. Um, that's got to be one of 183 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: the most traumatic things that kid can go through is 184 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: to lose the they're identified perch in the family order. Yeah, 185 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 1: and that's you were we were talking about, like the firstborn, 186 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: like the baby of the family. If all of a 187 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: sudden there's a younger, no good like I remember my 188 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 1: parents for some reason talking about adopting a kid. I 189 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: can't remember how old I was. I must have been 190 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 1: about seven, and I remember breaking down and crying and 191 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 1: just being like, you can't do this. You cannot bring 192 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 1: in someone younger and cuter than me, And that happens. 193 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: I'm seven, blended family, all of a sudden, you'd be 194 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: a younger or God forbid of baby. Just forget about it. 195 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: Can't compete with that. You gotta kill that baby. Well, 196 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: that's what happened to when Brady Bunch started to lose ratings. 197 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: Apparently your family was losing ratings. They brought in cousin Oliver, 198 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: a new baby, and I don't think Bobby was very 199 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: happy about that either. No, but just think about Janet 200 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: all makes a little bit more sense. Like she was like, 201 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: I'm the middle child, and then they brought in three 202 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 1: more and she was like, I'm even more middle Yeah, 203 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: you're deluded. The middle child is deluded. And if you 204 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: have multiple middle children, forget about it. That's right. However, 205 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,559 Speaker 1: here's the thing with blended families. They say by about 206 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 1: the age of five that a lot of your personality 207 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: is set. So if you're older than five and all 208 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 1: of a sudden, your family is blended. They say, it 209 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 1: may not make that much of a difference. No, No No, 210 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: that's where it's trouble. If you're younger than five and 211 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: your your personality a little more plastic. If you were 212 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 1: born a baby of the family and suddenly you're a firstborn, 213 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: or you're not the or you're a middle kid, you'll 214 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: adapt to that a lot better than you would if 215 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,839 Speaker 1: you're like older and you're you're more solid in your 216 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 1: birth order. Yeah, I didn't mean not trouble. What I 217 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 1: meant was like, if you're uh like twelve years old 218 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: and the family blending happens, it's trouble, But it's it's 219 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 1: not like your personality is like, all of a sudden, 220 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: I'm the the youngest or you know what I mean. Like, 221 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: you don't all of a sudden swap to a different 222 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 1: birth order personality, I don't think, right. But if you're 223 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: younger and it happens, you do right under the age 224 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: of five, which goes to show that if this is 225 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: the thing, and we'll talk about whether it is or 226 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:12,599 Speaker 1: not soon. Um, it has nothing to do with biology, 227 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: has everything to do with with nurture, not nature, because 228 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: a kid can adapt depending on When this happens, they 229 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: can adapt to a change in birth order if they're 230 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,359 Speaker 1: young enough. That means it has nothing to do with biology. 231 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 1: It's all the environment you're raised in, which is the 232 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: most bone headedly obvious thing on the planet. And then 233 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: before we take a break, they are also gap children. 234 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 1: Um supposedly, if there's at least a five year gap 235 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 1: between births, then it just sort of resets. That was 236 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: like me and my oldest sister. She was thirteen years 237 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 1: older than me. She was just like this older, cool person, 238 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,319 Speaker 1: but not like an old older sister, not at all 239 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: overbearing for me. I guess a little bit or like 240 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: a second mom kind of to an extent, because that 241 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: does happen to if there's a big gap or a 242 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 1: big family. Like I dated a girl in New Jersey 243 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: that had there was like six or seven of them, 244 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: and the by the time she came around, she was 245 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: kind of fully being raised by her siblings, right, So, 246 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: so what happens when there's enough of a gap a 247 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: new family birth order forms. So like if you have 248 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: an oldest and then there's multiple years, like say ten 249 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: years between your oldest and your middle and then two 250 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 1: years between your middle and your baby. The middle and 251 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: the baby are going to form a firstborn and a 252 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: last born type relationship. Yeah, the last born is always 253 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,560 Speaker 1: going to be the last born, yes, regardless of gap. 254 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: But then twins, like you were saying, is one last 255 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: confounding thing. The twins or triplets multiples as you call them. Um, yeah, 256 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 1: I think so. Uh. They form their own family unit 257 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 1: within the family too, with each other. And apparently no 258 00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 1: matter where they're born, twins never act like middle kids. 259 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: They always act like the firstborn or the baby, but 260 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: to one another. Right, and I think they generally come 261 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 1: together to kill the parents basically, right, they hold hands, 262 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: it's like an elevator of blood washes around them. Uh. 263 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: And then finally with adoption, Um, they say that depending 264 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: on when your child is adopted, the same kind of 265 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 1: scenario scenario happens as in like with gapped and blended families. Whereas, 266 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: if the kids young enough here so you will tailor 267 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: there um, their their birth order to the family that 268 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: they're adopted into. But if they're older, they'll be trouble. 269 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 1: All right, that's a good overview. I think I think 270 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: it was a great overview, Chuck, we're in front of it. 271 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: We're gonna you do have that overview glow. We're gonna 272 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: take a break and we're gonna talk about science right 273 00:15:51,000 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 1: after this. Alright, Chuck, as promised, we're gonna talk about 274 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: science because, like I said, this is so boneheaded and 275 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 1: obvious that every single person who's ever been born into 276 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: a family, everybody knows this stuff. But as far as 277 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: science is concerned, this is not proven that birth order 278 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 1: effects as they're called, actually exist. That science is saying, 279 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: hold your cell, your role, everybody. We can't actually prove 280 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:42,800 Speaker 1: that what everybody knows is actually true. Um. Some some 281 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: studies show that, yes, there is such thing as birth 282 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: order effects. Other studies show that there is no birth 283 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: order effect whatsoever. And then some studies suggest that if 284 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 1: there are birth order effects, they're so small that they 285 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: are basically a blip on your personality. That all the 286 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 1: other factors that form your personality, things like the socioeconomic 287 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 1: status of the family you're born into, your racial background, 288 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 1: your um gender, all the other stuff. Um, that is 289 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 1: what really forms your personality, not the order you're born 290 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 1: into your family. That's kind of sciences position right now. Yeah, 291 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: But what they all agree on is that it is 292 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: therapy cash cow right that that that yes, it's a 293 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 1: it's a good it's a useful framework to approach psychotherapy 294 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: from it. That's where I want to talk about it. 295 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,640 Speaker 1: At the high hourly rates. See to me, I'm like, 296 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: this is sure, this is exactly what forms your personality. 297 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,679 Speaker 1: But I get sciences position. I respect it. So if 298 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: we go back in time to the early nineteen hundreds, 299 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: there was a man named Alfred Adler. He was a 300 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 1: part of He was a contemporary of Freud, and this 301 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 1: is when all these dudes were getting together, uh to 302 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 1: talk about all this stuff in this burgeoning science, and 303 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: they all thought they were so cool and important and 304 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 1: um he was one of the only ones among his 305 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 1: peers though at the time, that was talking about birth 306 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 1: order that early. And he went on to form what 307 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: we know is uh Adlerian psychology or individual psychology, and 308 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,439 Speaker 1: it's basically a therapy based on um, how you perceive 309 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: your own level of power in your family, at your workplace, 310 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 1: in the world at large in general, like your perceived power, 311 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,160 Speaker 1: place of position or status. Right, yeah, And if he 312 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 1: believed in birth order having a significant influence on your personality, 313 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 1: then that in turn would influence how powerful you may 314 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: or may not feel. Yeah, because the addler if if 315 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 1: how you perceived your own power, not necessarily how powerful 316 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: you were, but your own perception of power was the 317 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: driving force of like what how you interact with the 318 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 1: world your personality. Um birth order would make total sense 319 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: because birth order, as everybody knows, is nothing but positions 320 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:05,640 Speaker 1: of superiority or inferiority. And it's it's as simple as that. 321 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: Because when you're born and you're a little kid, and 322 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: you're born into a family with an older sibling, they 323 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 1: are a couple of steps ahead of you because they've 324 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: already been through a bunch of stuff, so they're inherently 325 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: superior to you. They can also beat you up on 326 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 1: a very basic level. They can twist your arm behind 327 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 1: your back until it feels like it's going to break, 328 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: and how many times you say uncle, uncle, uncle, they 329 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: won't stop until they're satisfied or protect you. Like my 330 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,360 Speaker 1: big brother did from his friends that were jerks to me. 331 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 1: He wouldn't stand for it. No couples. We went at 332 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 1: it too, you know, we were brothers, but he never 333 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: picked on me. You know why, because you chuck and 334 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: he's Scott right. Uh. In the eighties is when I 335 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: mean there were always studies starting since Adler and freud Stein, 336 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 1: but in the nineteen eighties is when it really blew up, 337 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:59,120 Speaker 1: thanks to um, the Big and cocaine, the Big Five 338 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: personality trade the view of things, um, and that's when 339 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 1: things in the eighties, that's when everybody was just like 340 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 1: eating the stuff up. Yeah, because so the Big Five 341 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,639 Speaker 1: Personality inventory is We've talked about it before, but basically 342 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:17,639 Speaker 1: it is a a self reported measure that is actually valid. 343 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 1: It actually works, like you can say this person is 344 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: highly neurotic, or this person is extroverted, or um, well 345 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: three others that I can't bring to mind right now. 346 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: But these things are also kind of broken into subcategories, 347 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,439 Speaker 1: like these are big umbrella terms have more specific subcategories. 348 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,800 Speaker 1: But it's actually like valid, Like somebody who fills this 349 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 1: survey out, it's going to be an accurate assessment of 350 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: their personality. So if you have somebody's personality, that's huge, right. 351 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: You can say, all right, um, if this person is neurotic, 352 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,199 Speaker 1: they're highly neurotic. Let's see what birth order they are, Oh, 353 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 1: they're a middle child. Let's compare them to other middle 354 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 1: children who filled out this personality survey scored high on neurosis, 355 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, we can show if you're 356 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 1: a middle child, you're far likelier to be highly neurotic 357 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 1: under the Big Five personality inventory than the first born 358 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: is right, boom bam, you just proved that birth order 359 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 1: effects exist? Or did you? Yeah, they're like we can 360 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,640 Speaker 1: put people further into a box and label them um 361 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,800 Speaker 1: or did you? Because that is sort of the paradox 362 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 1: that arrived that we arrive at, which is you pointed 363 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,639 Speaker 1: to it a little bit earlier. There are so many, 364 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 1: so many influences that go into what makes you you that. Uh, 365 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: it's hard to look at birth order as a mere 366 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,160 Speaker 1: small part of that. Yeah, so so like you can't 367 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,199 Speaker 1: account you can account for some of these and studying it. 368 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,200 Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of studies over the years 369 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: and they do their best, but you can't account for 370 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,200 Speaker 1: all of them. Well okay, so so we'll go back 371 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 1: to that example. So you've you've just gone to your 372 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 1: peers and said, look, I have just proven that idle 373 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:04,639 Speaker 1: children are highly neurotic compared to other children in birth orders. Right, 374 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: then you're shaking your own fists around your your shoulders 375 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: in triumph. And they said, well, wait a minute, wait 376 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: a minute, um, did you control for socioeconomic background? And 377 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: you go, uh no, I didn't. Well wait did you 378 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 1: control for race? No? Did you control for gender? No? 379 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: And so all of a sudden you realize there's all 380 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:28,360 Speaker 1: these different, um independent variables. What what what in this 381 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,159 Speaker 1: case would be confounding variables that might actually be the 382 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: thing influencing it. It might be the fact that they 383 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: are um uh feet women born into families of a 384 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 1: low socioeconomic state that is driving neurosis, that that's actually 385 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: the thing that is driving it, rather than birth order 386 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: has nothing to do with being a middle child. That's 387 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 1: just a fluke of coincidence. And like you said, there's 388 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 1: so many confounding variables and so many things that make 389 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 1: our personalities who we are that some people who are 390 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,960 Speaker 1: like birth order effects do not exist. Basically say that 391 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: any birth order study that shows that they do exist 392 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,680 Speaker 1: has some confounding variable that that's the actual hidden thing 393 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: that's driving it that you can't possibly control for everything 394 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 1: to make a perfect, perfectly designed experiment too for birth order. Yeah, 395 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,199 Speaker 1: like when you start to think about, like if you 396 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,960 Speaker 1: were just to sit there and sort of jot down 397 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 1: things as non scientists, just regular schmos like us, uh, 398 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: and just jot down a list of what other factors 399 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: might be at play. We could probably come up with 400 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: a list of a hundred things between us. Let's start now. 401 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 1: But that would like if I was studying the stuff 402 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: and I started to make that list, I would just 403 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: walk away and go into another line of study. I 404 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: would be like, dude, I just you know where your 405 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: parents married, where they divorced, When did they get divorced? 406 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,880 Speaker 1: Did you like hot dogs? You live with mom or dad? 407 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,960 Speaker 1: How far apart did they live? What could do? Were 408 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 1: you suburban? Where you urban? Where did you live? In 409 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,640 Speaker 1: an excerpt, did you go up in the woods? Did 410 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 1: you start work at twelve? Uh? For you like old timing, 411 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,120 Speaker 1: I started work at twelve. I guess I did too. 412 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: I did a paper route. Yeah, how's a bus boy? Um? 413 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: Oh wait? Was that where the guy put his foot 414 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 1: into the what a criminal? I told you? That's a title? Max. 415 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: Now that restaurant drove but not too long ago. J 416 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,920 Speaker 1: J's barbecue title Max. Now they're putting their foot on titles, 417 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 1: just stomping on them. They got your money, your money, 418 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,880 Speaker 1: your real money. They're never gonna sponsor us. Now. Um, 419 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 1: another few things that can confound these studies, um are 420 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: things and and Ed helped us put this research together, 421 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 1: things like demographic shifts. So he gave a great example 422 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 1: of like the baby boom, if there's a big population 423 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 1: bulge that also coincides with a lot of other stuff. Um. 424 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: And the example he's was prevalence of cigarette smoking. Uh, 425 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 1: there may be a false correlation there between being a 426 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 1: firstborn and smoking, whereas if you were second born twelve 427 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,400 Speaker 1: years later. I guess that would fall outside that range 428 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: though of gap child. Um, But that's even more confounding. 429 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,359 Speaker 1: The points still valid. Sure that, like there's just way 430 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,359 Speaker 1: more firstborns who smoked than second borns, But that's because 431 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 1: smoking was more prevalent when there were a bunch of 432 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,919 Speaker 1: kids born who were all of the same cohort and 433 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: all firstborns. Right, That's just one of the ways this 434 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 1: thing can be confounded. Yeah, this one really speaks to me. 435 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 1: Which is labeled as growth. When a birth order effect 436 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,239 Speaker 1: does appear, it is strongest when they subject is with 437 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 1: their siblings, when you're a family reunion, it is so 438 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 1: funny how that happens. I see myself do it. Like 439 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: good example, I turned for a couple of weeks ago 440 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: my family and my sister and her husband happened to 441 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 1: be in town. Didn't come for that, but we were 442 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: texting and I was like, hey, let's all you know, 443 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: this is great, let's all go out to dinner. She's like, oh, 444 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,919 Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I just figured you wouldn't want 445 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: to spend your birthday with your friend. You'd want to 446 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,439 Speaker 1: spend your birthday with your friends and not your family. 447 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: And I saw Michelle when she got in town and 448 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: she said the same thing in person. I was like, dude, 449 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,400 Speaker 1: I'm forty eight. It's like I'm not twenty two year 450 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,639 Speaker 1: old chuck burnout like I used to be. And she 451 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 1: just sort of laughed. But that's a perfect example of how, like, 452 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 1: no matter what happens in my life, I will always 453 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 1: be the baby, and she will probably feel like she 454 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,680 Speaker 1: has to look out for me, which is a nice feeling. Um. 455 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:35,360 Speaker 1: I see Emily fall into patterns with her family. Uh, well, 456 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 1: she is a She's an interesting case because she wasn't 457 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 1: only and then has a half brother and a half sister. 458 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,400 Speaker 1: Her dad. Yeah, her dad went and had a son 459 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: with another woman, and then her mom got married to 460 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,160 Speaker 1: her father in law, Steve, who already had a daughter. Um, 461 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,239 Speaker 1: so it's a sort of a weird mix. But I 462 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,919 Speaker 1: just mean in general, not even with siblings, you know, 463 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 1: just in how their family dynamic is She's a different 464 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,600 Speaker 1: person when we go over there. Yeah, I think it happens. 465 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 1: I think everybody is around their family. It's so strange. Um. 466 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: So this is when it sort of started me down 467 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 1: the path of like what is personality? Is it a 468 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 1: is a personality trait? Is it this just? Is it 469 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 1: repeated behaviors? Is it a set of behaviors? Like? Is 470 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,639 Speaker 1: that personality? Are you asking me? Yeah? I mean I 471 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: don't even know, Like what is personality? We should do 472 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 1: a show on that, Oh, we totally should. But from 473 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 1: what I understand, just kind of briefly put it, personality 474 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: is the kind of predictable way that you'll react to 475 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 1: the world. Right. Is it easy for somebody to press 476 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 1: your buttons? Um? Are you laid back? Are you? Like? 477 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: Could somebody? However, if somebody were presented with that, and 478 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: this is going terribly if somebody were presented with a uh, 479 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 1: like an event in life. Okay, you could say Josh 480 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 1: and probably respond to like that, that's a personality, right, 481 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 1: But is that something inherent or is it birth order? 482 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,760 Speaker 1: Is it just a collection of learned behavior. I think 483 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: it's a collection of learned and reinforced behaviors too. If 484 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 1: you're told you're the baby of the family all the time, 485 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: you're gonna act like the baby of the family. You're 486 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,160 Speaker 1: gonna act self centers, You're gonna act manipulative. It's reinforced. 487 00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 1: If you're told, um, you uh, you can do anything. 488 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 1: You can you can go out and do anything. You 489 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 1: can literally walk through walls because someone told you to. 490 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 1: They reinforced that behavior. But I think that's a personality 491 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,760 Speaker 1: is and this is just me talking. I also believe 492 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: in birth order effects, by the way, but I think 493 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 1: that that is it's it's learned and reinforced, which means 494 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: it can be unlearned. You can learn to be different. Yeah. 495 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 1: At that same birthday dinner, I picked up the check 496 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: for everyone and there was a bit of a not 497 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,560 Speaker 1: an argument, let me struggle. My mom and I were, 498 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: you know, kind of off to the side with the 499 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 1: people who worked there doing the credit card battle, and 500 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 1: she she wasn't super happy and I should have just 501 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 1: let her pay. But it's part of that thing, like 502 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 1: I'm the baby of the family and I kind of 503 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,360 Speaker 1: just finally told a seck. Listen, mom, it's like it's 504 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 1: my turn to pay. You know, I'm not the baby anymore. 505 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 1: Like quit writing me a check for a hundred dollars 506 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 1: on my birthday? Do you do you catch this? I 507 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,760 Speaker 1: mean I generally just put it in my kid's bank account. 508 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 1: Oh that's a good thing. You know, we don't catch 509 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: because also don't want to take away the joy that 510 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: she gets from writing me that. That's not cool. It's 511 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 1: like I don't need that from her, but like that's 512 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 1: what brings her joy. Giving you money. It's complicated. So 513 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: let me teach you a little a little trick. Okay, 514 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 1: if you don't want to get into that tussle, if 515 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 1: you just wanted to be done, sorry, it's too late. 516 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 1: When you order, When you hand the menu back to 517 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 1: the server, just have beholding your credit card with your 518 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 1: thumb and give him a look. It's universal. They all know, 519 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: and they'll take it and be like, and you got 520 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 1: to first. Nobody else does that. They always wait and 521 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,560 Speaker 1: they pretend to go to the bathroom, like after everybody's done. 522 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 1: It so obvious. You gotta start before the food even comes, 523 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 1: before the drinks even come. You know what I did 524 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: when we got to the restaurant. The very first thing 525 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 1: I did was go up to the manager while everyone 526 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 1: was being seated, said, listen, dude, my mom's going to 527 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: try and pay, or one of these other chumps in 528 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 1: my family is going to try and pay. It's like, 529 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: I don't want any of them paying. It's like twelve people. 530 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 1: I picked the place. I picked a nicer place. It's 531 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 1: like I don't want to do that. And I was like, so, 532 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 1: just here's my credit card. Please make sure that the 533 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,880 Speaker 1: server there's no battle. They didn't follow your orders. No, 534 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 1: because my mom she tried to jump me later on 535 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: the side and didn't realize I had already jumped her. 536 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: So it should have been done, I know. But then 537 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: we went over there. He was like, listen, man, your 538 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,320 Speaker 1: mom is over here now, like she's the mom. We 539 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: generally side with the parents on this stuff. What place 540 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 1: was this? It was just a restaurant. I demand to know. 541 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 1: I'm mad. My move should have just trumped all moves 542 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: because it was no, I agree, and that's what I 543 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 1: basically said. And I was like, listen, man, I was like, 544 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 1: there are factors at play here that I don't want 545 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 1: to talk about. It's like just please, And my mom 546 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 1: got a little mad and then that's I blame this manager. 547 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: I think you should expose them. Well, I'm glad it 548 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: all worked out in the end. Man, should we take 549 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 1: a break? I thought we were right now, all right, 550 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: we'll be back right after this. All right, we're back, Chuck. 551 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 1: And like we said, we showed science is kind of 552 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,040 Speaker 1: like we're not quite sure about the birth order effect. 553 00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 1: That hasn't kept like a whole cottage field of psychology 554 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: and continuing since the eighties basically NonStop. Like if you 555 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 1: go look at birth birth order effects, there's it's very rare. 556 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 1: You're going to run into anything that says like this 557 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 1: is all b s. Most of it's like, yeah, this 558 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 1: is true. Everybody knows it. Um. There have been some 559 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 1: like prominent people in favor of like like let's say, yes, 560 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 1: there is such thing as birth effects. And there was 561 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 1: one guy in particular, um who made a big splash 562 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 1: in with a book called Born to Rebel. Yeah, Frank Soloway, 563 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 1: Frank J. Soloway, if you want to be fancy about it. 564 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 1: And he got a MacArthur Genius grant to kind of 565 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: study this and write about it, and he did. He 566 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,160 Speaker 1: wrote a book called Born to Rebel. It was about 567 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 1: birth order, and the whole premise of the book was 568 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: he looked at scientific revolutions throughout the ages. It's pretty interesting, 569 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:57,160 Speaker 1: identified which scientists were on which side of it, either 570 00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: in support of this revolutionary thinking or opposed to it, 571 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,680 Speaker 1: meaning that they were in favor of keeping the status quo, 572 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 1: and then determined what birth order they had. And he 573 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:12,240 Speaker 1: found after this study, which is really that's a that's 574 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: it was a big study he did. It was a 575 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: pretty a lot of legwork, in a lot of research. Um, 576 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 1: he determined that first borns are much more likely to 577 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,560 Speaker 1: support the status quo, whereas second borns are later borns 578 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:29,200 Speaker 1: he calls them are um much more likely to support 579 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:33,160 Speaker 1: revolutionary thinking. Yeah. And just one example, as far as 580 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,960 Speaker 1: uh he used Darwinism. He said later borns between eighteen 581 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 1: fifty nine and eighteen seventy five were four point six 582 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,160 Speaker 1: times more likely than first borns two uh support Darwinism, 583 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 1: yeah thinking, Yeah, yeah, so yeah, and that was one 584 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 1: of many examples that I think there were um a 585 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 1: hundred and twenty one historical events with sixty individuals either 586 00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 1: supporting or opposing him. So it was a big, big 587 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: work for sure. Yeah. And one of his uh, I 588 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,240 Speaker 1: mean he he puts some reasoning behind it too, He's 589 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 1: he was like, uh, if you're later born, you might 590 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: have a hard time competing with your older who might 591 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,239 Speaker 1: have a tighter bond with the parents, maybe, And so 592 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,360 Speaker 1: that sort of symbolically forces you as to be almost 593 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,840 Speaker 1: an outsider within your own family, so you may be 594 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 1: more prone to join up with an outsider opinion right 595 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,839 Speaker 1: to go look outside of the family union and all 596 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,840 Speaker 1: of the values and the ideas that it holds to 597 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,719 Speaker 1: to make your own mark in order to get attention 598 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,960 Speaker 1: or support or whatever from your parents. Whereas if you're firstborn, 599 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,279 Speaker 1: you just got the the easiest thing to do is 600 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,280 Speaker 1: to just fall in line with your parents and hence 601 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: support the status quo. It makes sense, but um, born 602 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:49,359 Speaker 1: to a Belle was was torn apart by some scientists. 603 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 1: Sure it is like this is just pure pop psychology tripe. Um. 604 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,640 Speaker 1: I think that's an unfair characterization of it like, the 605 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,280 Speaker 1: guy worked for basically twenty something years on this stuff, 606 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 1: and in it was a very robust study. One of 607 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: the pitfalls that he seemed to have run into, though, 608 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: was he was analyzing historical figures um, which is really 609 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 1: sticky stuff like like this. You can't analyze people even 610 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 1: from afar, even if they're contemporary, let alone they've been 611 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,360 Speaker 1: dead for a couple of hundred years, So to base 612 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 1: it on that is kind of is kind of difficult 613 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,640 Speaker 1: and tricky. But I just want to say he worked 614 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,840 Speaker 1: really hard on. Another part plucked from his research I 615 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 1: thought was pretty interesting was the idea that part of 616 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:39,279 Speaker 1: this um less rebellious nature of a firstborn might be 617 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:43,000 Speaker 1: due to the long standing but now sort of antiquated 618 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: practice of uh primogeniture, which is, the firstborn gets the inheritance, 619 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:52,960 Speaker 1: so they're more likely, just through thousands of years of this, 620 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,399 Speaker 1: more inclined to like not ruffle the feathers of the parents, right, 621 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 1: And then the later borns who are like, I've got 622 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,760 Speaker 1: basically zero chance of inheriting the family titles in a state, 623 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,600 Speaker 1: I'll just go do my own thing. I don't have 624 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 1: to fall in line. That makes sense as well, uh 625 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,600 Speaker 1: And the other interesting thing with that is another factor 626 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: was the removal of a child from a family. He's 627 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 1: found that a later born who was removed from the 628 00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,880 Speaker 1: family and reared by a relative will end up behaving 629 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,799 Speaker 1: like a typical firstborn. And again I'm assuming if that's 630 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 1: under the age of like five, but I wonder so 631 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 1: I'm wondering if that just is supported by other research, 632 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: or if all of the parenting magazine articles that mentioned 633 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,920 Speaker 1: that whole you know, the personality is tailored is really 634 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,520 Speaker 1: just citing that work. Because that's one of the big 635 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,319 Speaker 1: problems with pop psychology in general, is it's self reinforcing. 636 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: One person says one thing and it gets picked up 637 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,400 Speaker 1: by a bunch of people and they're all pointing to 638 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 1: the same thing. But since so many of them are pointing, 639 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,960 Speaker 1: there's so many of them out there doing the pointing, 640 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 1: it seems like it's a very robust and like um, 641 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 1: widespread body of work, when really it was just one 642 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,319 Speaker 1: study that said one thing that everybody's sighting. Well. Yeah, 643 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,240 Speaker 1: like in his case, he likes to site this Norwegian study. 644 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,840 Speaker 1: Uh it found a difference of two point three i 645 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:12,560 Speaker 1: Q points between first and second born children. UH sample 646 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: size of two one subjects, it is big, but then 647 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,359 Speaker 1: you know, ed sort of brings up a good point 648 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,320 Speaker 1: like okay, maybe, but like is the two point three 649 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,799 Speaker 1: first of all i Q test or problematic for like 650 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: a lot of reasons possibly bunk, But even if they're not, 651 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,440 Speaker 1: is a two point three IQ point difference even meaningful 652 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 1: enough to be like, well look two points So no, 653 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,080 Speaker 1: it's it's not meaningful in that, like you know, that 654 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 1: doesn't that's gonna lead to any like closed doors or 655 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,760 Speaker 1: open doors or anything. That's just such a narrow difference. 656 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,600 Speaker 1: But if that's like an average, and it's it is 657 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:55,480 Speaker 1: found across you know, first borns and later boards like 658 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 1: like in a very large population like that, it is, 659 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,520 Speaker 1: it doesn't make you wonder like what what would that 660 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,279 Speaker 1: come from? It does raise more questions, you know what 661 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: I mean. So, yeah, it's an insignificant difference as far 662 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,719 Speaker 1: as like actual intelligence goes, but it does suggest that 663 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 1: there's something weird going on there that does have to 664 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,800 Speaker 1: do with birth order. Well, I guess that brings this 665 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,600 Speaker 1: to this really interesting thing that I had never heard 666 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:22,200 Speaker 1: of before. Had you heard of this fraternal birth order 667 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:27,239 Speaker 1: effect um, which is basically the idea, and a lot 668 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:31,760 Speaker 1: of studies have backed this up. Meta analysis of tons 669 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 1: of studies have backed this up. The idea is that 670 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:41,560 Speaker 1: if you have multiple boys in your family, each successive 671 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,440 Speaker 1: boy that's born, and this is if it's just boys, 672 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:51,359 Speaker 1: has a higher chance of being gay. Right. I didn't 673 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:52,920 Speaker 1: think And when I first saw that was like, that 674 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 1: can't be real, right, And then I did a lot 675 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 1: more poking around. I was like, Wow, it is real. 676 00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 1: The statistics sort of bear it out. Yeah. If there's 677 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,920 Speaker 1: if there's a big um disagreement about whether actual just 678 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 1: regular birth order effects exist, this one is much more 679 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:11,400 Speaker 1: supported by the data. This the fraternal birth order effect, 680 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 1: and so much so that there is a sexologist, which 681 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,239 Speaker 1: if that were my field of study, I'd be like, 682 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 1: call me sexologist Josh please. Um, I can't find his name? 683 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 1: Is Ray something he said and I'm not sure what 684 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,040 Speaker 1: he was basing this on, but he said that, Um, 685 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:32,600 Speaker 1: there is a increase of thirty three percent in likelihood 686 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:36,200 Speaker 1: that you will be gay with each additional older brother 687 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 1: you have. Now, so that means if you are born 688 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 1: into a family and you're the youngest of four brothers, 689 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 1: did this math, what does that mean? Because I know 690 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 1: these people like family zero percent chance, I guess that 691 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,360 Speaker 1: that you are going to be um hetero, That that 692 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,800 Speaker 1: that you're a hundred percent chance going to be gay? Right, Well, 693 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 1: how many it could be a hundred and six? It 694 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,560 Speaker 1: just going right, Yeah, I think that can't be right. 695 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,799 Speaker 1: Eventually you become so gay you pop out the other 696 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:09,560 Speaker 1: side and you're straight because you have like ten brothers. Well, 697 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:13,360 Speaker 1: I did see that meta analysis of multiple multiple studies 698 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:19,839 Speaker 1: indicated that between fifteen and of gay males oh their 699 00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:24,279 Speaker 1: sexual orientation to this effect supposedly, okay, so so, and 700 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,319 Speaker 1: we should say there are some studies that have not 701 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,400 Speaker 1: found this. There was a big one that had There 702 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,680 Speaker 1: was like a survey of British young men that that 703 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,239 Speaker 1: surveyed like eleven thousand of them or whatever and did 704 00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,400 Speaker 1: not find this. But so many studies have found it 705 00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,839 Speaker 1: that science is like this, this actually might be a thing, 706 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,040 Speaker 1: and we're not quite sure what it is. And at 707 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:48,320 Speaker 1: first they explained it that the the more boys there are, 708 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,440 Speaker 1: the less social pressure there are for you to be 709 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:57,799 Speaker 1: like hetero and um and responsible for carrying on the 710 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,800 Speaker 1: family line, like after two three brothers, who are gonna 711 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 1: you know, carry on the family line, go go crazy, 712 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,239 Speaker 1: go do what you want, and that that was the 713 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,960 Speaker 1: idea behind why it became likelier that you would be 714 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,600 Speaker 1: gay if you had more older brothers. There's a couple 715 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:16,160 Speaker 1: of things with that kind of suggests that like um 716 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,320 Speaker 1: being gay or not as a choice, or being straight 717 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:22,440 Speaker 1: or not as a choice rather than something biological whatever, 718 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,680 Speaker 1: that has kind of gone out the window. With another 719 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,680 Speaker 1: really surprising finding that has to do with handedness that 720 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:33,040 Speaker 1: really undermines that whole idea. Yeah, so this is so 721 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,920 Speaker 1: just mind blowing and interesting. So the increase and probability 722 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,920 Speaker 1: of a boy becoming gay is only only if that 723 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:46,720 Speaker 1: boy is right handed handed. Yep, so if you're left handed. 724 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 1: Among left handed men, there was no statistical difference and 725 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,799 Speaker 1: the incidents of homosexuality even if you've got a thousand brothers. 726 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,840 Speaker 1: And the weird thing about that is that they've found 727 00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,680 Speaker 1: if you are taking birth order out of the equation, 728 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,440 Speaker 1: if you are left handed, there's a slightly higher incidence 729 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:08,239 Speaker 1: of um being gay, just period, Yes, for for being 730 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,920 Speaker 1: left handed, and that's with um men and women apparently. 731 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:15,040 Speaker 1: UM So the idea that that not only does it 732 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,440 Speaker 1: not make you more likely to be gay, and as 733 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,640 Speaker 1: far as fraternal birth order is concerned, it actually negates 734 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:26,440 Speaker 1: the effects of fraternal birth order. It shows that that 735 00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,960 Speaker 1: that social pressure from brothers doesn't have anything to do 736 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,919 Speaker 1: with it, because a right handed or a left handed 737 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:33,520 Speaker 1: kid is not going to be under any more or 738 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:37,160 Speaker 1: less social pressure from older brothers to be straight. Um, 739 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,680 Speaker 1: that makes zero sense whatsoever. And that would also suggests 740 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,280 Speaker 1: it's handedness that it has something to do with genetics too. 741 00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:47,960 Speaker 1: If you're ambidexterous or you bisexual, I guess, so, where's 742 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,879 Speaker 1: that study that makes sense? So I did a little 743 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,160 Speaker 1: more digging in this, but I don't understand it at all. 744 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,520 Speaker 1: But more recently, as in just a couple of years ago, 745 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:05,120 Speaker 1: they think they found an actual um physiological biological explanation 746 00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 1: for that. If did you understand that? I don't know 747 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 1: if they found it or if somebody made it up. 748 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,440 Speaker 1: And everybody's like I read a bunch of papers that 749 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,320 Speaker 1: said that, you know, they think this, maybe it okay, 750 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:19,319 Speaker 1: but I didn't get it. So what they what they 751 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:23,439 Speaker 1: think is that when a UM mom, when a mom 752 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:28,759 Speaker 1: carries a boy, her body has a reaction to the 753 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:34,040 Speaker 1: male male proteins, the stuff that makes him a male 754 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,759 Speaker 1: creates an allergic reaction of sorts in the mom, and 755 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,399 Speaker 1: the mom produces anybody's The first time the mom's body 756 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,200 Speaker 1: is totally caught off guard, has basically no effects whatsoever 757 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,920 Speaker 1: on the boy's development as a boy. As more and 758 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,239 Speaker 1: more boys are born, and just state in that same 759 00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:56,840 Speaker 1: poor mom um, the antibodies get better and better at 760 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,399 Speaker 1: recognizing these proteins and can actually get to the point 761 00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:03,640 Speaker 1: where they affect the expression of these proteins. And so 762 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:08,120 Speaker 1: what makes the boy straight from the basis of these 763 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:11,239 Speaker 1: proteins is actually affected, and they developed differently starting in 764 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:15,240 Speaker 1: the womb because the mom has developed anybody's too, basically 765 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:20,000 Speaker 1: male nous, which is the most mind boggling, amazing idea 766 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,520 Speaker 1: I've ever heard. That Glummery was so much better than 767 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,360 Speaker 1: the scientific paper summaries that I read today. Thank you, 768 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,680 Speaker 1: good John, Thank you you should do that. Thank I 769 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,440 Speaker 1: do for a living. I just did. Well, that's a 770 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,319 Speaker 1: good point. I thought this was interesting too. I mean, 771 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,200 Speaker 1: we've kind of gone over most of these birth order 772 00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:39,319 Speaker 1: theories I think in general, but this one I don't 773 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,720 Speaker 1: think we super touched on, and I think it's really interesting. 774 00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:46,560 Speaker 1: The confluence theory so This is sort of like resource 775 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,879 Speaker 1: delution of parents that we were talking about, like only 776 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:54,640 Speaker 1: so much emotional uh support or financial support to go around, 777 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:58,080 Speaker 1: But this takes it down to the sibling level, and 778 00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:03,600 Speaker 1: it's sort of basically like if you were firstborn, uh, 779 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:07,440 Speaker 1: you are then have a degraded emotional environment and intellectual 780 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,560 Speaker 1: environment once you get a younger. So it's like playing 781 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:15,279 Speaker 1: tennis against better or worse competition. If you're the better 782 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:18,080 Speaker 1: tennis player, you're not gonna play as good against a 783 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,880 Speaker 1: lesser tennis player. And they're saying that that kind of 784 00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,560 Speaker 1: happens with firstborns because they have to spend time with 785 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:27,560 Speaker 1: this dumb kid, this dumb baby. But the dumb baby 786 00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,959 Speaker 1: gets a leg up exactly. That's when you play tennis 787 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,160 Speaker 1: against someone better than you. Eventually, that's called the tutor effect. 788 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:37,839 Speaker 1: They surpassed that firstborn, the student becomes the mass. That's right, exactly, 789 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:43,479 Speaker 1: and your skin turns to alabaster. Really interesting, is that? Sting? 790 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:49,239 Speaker 1: Well the police Okay, oh sure, I thought you were 791 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,440 Speaker 1: like a dream of the blue turtle Sting. No, I'm 792 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:57,560 Speaker 1: more of a nothing like the sun. Yes, synchronicity, that's 793 00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:59,840 Speaker 1: good too. I'm still mad at them for that reunion 794 00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:04,200 Speaker 1: to or oh yeah, they really phoned it in. You said, hey, 795 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,200 Speaker 1: I saw for some so I just thought of the 796 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:10,680 Speaker 1: Police and Stewart Copeland and which made me think of 797 00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:12,960 Speaker 1: Less Claypool. Re members in that band with Less Claypool 798 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:17,719 Speaker 1: and Trey Anastasio. Yeah, it's called kill Me. No, it's 799 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,480 Speaker 1: three talented individuals. But then they made me think of 800 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,319 Speaker 1: Less Claypool, who was in a documentary I just saw 801 00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:27,040 Speaker 1: on The Residents have seen it? No, the Residents were 802 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,160 Speaker 1: the mystery band right with that that, we're the big 803 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,520 Speaker 1: still are a mystery band, still going really Yeah, they're good, Um, 804 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,879 Speaker 1: but it's good. It's like it's it's an intellectual kind 805 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,880 Speaker 1: of like examination of of their history and everything. But 806 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,279 Speaker 1: it's really interesting. But Less Claypool's in it. Do you 807 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:48,040 Speaker 1: think when Less Claypool, Uh, fish guy what's his name? 808 00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,719 Speaker 1: Trey and and Stewart Copeland and Stewart copelan you think 809 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,120 Speaker 1: when they got together to form that band, all they 810 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,200 Speaker 1: did was just sort of work out who's solos next. 811 00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,960 Speaker 1: Probably it's like, I want to do the based solo first, 812 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:02,880 Speaker 1: and then we can go right into the guitar solo 813 00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,439 Speaker 1: and then the drum solo and then the song's over. 814 00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,040 Speaker 1: Hopefully the birth order of the three worked out so 815 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,040 Speaker 1: that it all. They were like, yes, this all makes 816 00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:13,120 Speaker 1: sense to me. Man, there's nothing better than old videos 817 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:16,400 Speaker 1: of Stewart Copeland pitching fits. Oh did he? I always 818 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,840 Speaker 1: heard it was Sting that was the jerk to Stewart Copeland. 819 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,600 Speaker 1: Was Stewart Copeland the jerk? Well, Stewart Copeland was a 820 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:25,800 Speaker 1: hothead and Steyn was could poke his buttons. Oh yeah, 821 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,880 Speaker 1: it's pretty fun. There's some Stewart. Don't feel bad for 822 00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,160 Speaker 1: Stuart Cope. Man, he might be. I think he might 823 00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,479 Speaker 1: be the best drummer I ever lived, everybody says Neil part. 824 00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,480 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, Stewart Copeland was pretty good. Oh yeah, 825 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:40,719 Speaker 1: and like crazy, uh like um doing his own thing, 826 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,920 Speaker 1: and he's from making what yeah, making Georgia, making Georgia. Wow, 827 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know that. This concludes this episode of stuff 828 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,439 Speaker 1: you should know. If you want the more about birth order, 829 00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,960 Speaker 1: go talk to your family. We don't care. Since I 830 00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,480 Speaker 1: said that's time for listener mail. Did you watch the 831 00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:02,080 Speaker 1: Motley Crew movie yet on Netflix? No? No, I didn't 832 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:06,400 Speaker 1: know his out Yeah it's out good. Uh, no, but 833 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,000 Speaker 1: based on that book, it's not good, but it's great, 834 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,000 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Oh yeah, it's based on 835 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,279 Speaker 1: the book, but it's so I mean, it feels like 836 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,239 Speaker 1: one of those v H one Are you literally making 837 00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,560 Speaker 1: a note? It's sort of like one of those VH 838 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:21,359 Speaker 1: one movie music movies, like the Jackson's One. It's right, 839 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:25,239 Speaker 1: it's it's it's good. Okay, I'll check it out, all right? 840 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:30,120 Speaker 1: Who plays Vince Neil? Um? They're all, you know, the 841 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,239 Speaker 1: only one of the not the only thing. There's a 842 00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,960 Speaker 1: lot of distracting parts. But the guy who plays Vince 843 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:39,280 Speaker 1: neil in his hair looks a lot like Garth, looks 844 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:42,279 Speaker 1: not like Dana Carvey is card So it's kind of 845 00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:47,000 Speaker 1: hard to fully go there. The guy who played Tommy 846 00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:50,440 Speaker 1: Lee is pretty good, was it Christian Navarra? No? Did 847 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,640 Speaker 1: he want to? He's he can't played Tommy Lee. He could, 848 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,680 Speaker 1: he's like six five. That kid can play anybody. Well, no, 849 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,799 Speaker 1: I agree. All right, it's time for listener, mail, I said, 850 00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,680 Speaker 1: chuck the bars more Mars guy. Okay, all right, here 851 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:05,279 Speaker 1: we go. Is that from that? No? Mc marsh's Matiney group. 852 00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:10,879 Speaker 1: Who is that? He's a guitar player. Oh the old creep. Yeah, yeah, sure, 853 00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:12,239 Speaker 1: I know how you're talking about. I guess I never 854 00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,279 Speaker 1: knew his name by creep. He was a creep, he 855 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,439 Speaker 1: was creepy. Sure, that's what I mean. All right, here 856 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:21,640 Speaker 1: we go. This is from Sam and I'm just gonna 857 00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,759 Speaker 1: call this heartfelt. It's always nice to hear this. Hey, guys, 858 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,000 Speaker 1: probably could have sent this a million times, but tonight 859 00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: I really felt the need to. You were with me 860 00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,880 Speaker 1: was when I transitioned from high school to college. You 861 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,959 Speaker 1: were there the night my dad died two years ago, 862 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,040 Speaker 1: and now you're here as I'm in the process of 863 00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,160 Speaker 1: dealing with my girlfriend dumping me up to three years. 864 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,920 Speaker 1: You're always there, guys. Sure you hear this all the time, 865 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,320 Speaker 1: but I want to tell you that some tough days, 866 00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:47,040 Speaker 1: on tough days, you really helped keep me saying plain 867 00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:53,399 Speaker 1: and simple. Hopeim me saying not that we keep him 868 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,200 Speaker 1: playing and simple. I read that wrong. It's like eat 869 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 1: shoots and leaves. That's right. I have depression and anxiety. 870 00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,080 Speaker 1: In the podcast is a huge help on nights like 871 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,840 Speaker 1: this when nothing seems to help or was comforting. I 872 00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,759 Speaker 1: can tell if things get really bad, if even the 873 00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,399 Speaker 1: podcast doesn't help you. Guys have also been like role 874 00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:16,920 Speaker 1: models for me. So uh um, this is all just 875 00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:18,880 Speaker 1: to say thank you so much. Guys. Who knows how 876 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,360 Speaker 1: much darker some spots in my life we've been without 877 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 1: you could say much more, but I think I got 878 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:27,120 Speaker 1: the message across. That is from Sam and he says, PS, 879 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,760 Speaker 1: I am a he him and I spank this email 880 00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,080 Speaker 1: on the bottom. Oh good, that's how we got here. 881 00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:36,600 Speaker 1: That's right. Nice work. Um. If you want to get 882 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:38,799 Speaker 1: in touch with us like Sam did, thank you very much. Sam. 883 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,279 Speaker 1: By the way, that was very sweet of you to 884 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,799 Speaker 1: tell us all that. I hope you're pulling through. Yeah, 885 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,840 Speaker 1: hanging there man. Um. You can get in touch with 886 00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,560 Speaker 1: us by going to Stuff you Should Know dot com 887 00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,760 Speaker 1: and clicking on our social links, and you can also 888 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,520 Speaker 1: send us an email like Sam did. Don't forget to 889 00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,120 Speaker 1: spank it on the bottom to stuff podcast at i 890 00:50:56,280 --> 00:51:02,320 Speaker 1: heart radio dot com. Stuff you Should Know is a 891 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,440 Speaker 1: production of iHeart Radio's How Stuff Works. For more podcasts 892 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,360 Speaker 1: for my heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 893 00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:13,279 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H