Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Let's
Speaker 1: face this. Trump has already lost the tariff wars he
Speaker 1: finally claimed he paused yesterday without really pausing them already lost.
Speaker 1: Only took him eight days, eight days from liberation day
Speaker 1: to a day, when in any other war, in any
Speaker 1: other country, literal or figurative, he would have been deposed
Speaker 1: by now. And never mind how much you and I
Speaker 1: think he's crazy. A high priced advisor to macro fund
Speaker 1: manager says, quote, A few of them have quietly wondered
Speaker 1: if the president might be insane unquote. And after Wall
Speaker 1: Street came off the ledge and got back to where
Speaker 1: it was six days ago, only what three trillion lost
Speaker 1: four to seven? You lose track after a while. Trump
Speaker 1: declared victory up twenty five hundred points. Nobody has ever
Speaker 1: heard of it. Gotta be a record because he cannot
Speaker 1: admit he made a mistake ever. If he did, his
Speaker 1: head would fall off, and his approval numbers have cratered.
Speaker 1: He's underwater by an average of six points last Wednesday.
Speaker 1: It was an average of two points. Since the election,
Speaker 1: He's lost twenty points among those over age sixty five,
Speaker 1: He's lost fifty points among those underage thirty. And he's
Speaker 1: still yesterday raised the tariffs on the Chinese again to
Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty five percent, because he's mad at them,
Speaker 1: because they, of course are winning this war, because the
Speaker 1: Chinese aren't not negotiating. The Chinese don't negotiate the Chinese
Speaker 1: are as they have been for centuries, for millennia. The
Speaker 1: Chinese are waiting for their opponents to die. The Chinese
Speaker 1: are apparently dumping our ten year treasuries, driving up our debt,
Speaker 1: and they've opened trading partnership negotiations with the head of
Speaker 1: the European Union. Surprise. And for all the claims about
Speaker 1: pausing the tariffs, Trump says a universal ten percent tariff
Speaker 1: will be maintained on everybody. That's not a pause. Oh
Speaker 1: and the very stable Genius began the day in full panic.
Speaker 1: Between seven forty six and nine thirty seven yesterday morning,
Speaker 1: he made sure anybody who had not realized that it
Speaker 1: and he were in freefall, he made sure they realized
Speaker 1: we're all in freefall. First one, this is a great
Speaker 1: time to move your company into the United States of America,
Speaker 1: like Apple and so many others. In record numbers, are
Speaker 1: doing zero tariffs and almost immediate electrical energy hookups and approvals,
Speaker 1: no environmental delays. Don't wait, do it now? Free balloons
Speaker 1: for the kiddies a few minutes later, make America great again.
Speaker 1: After that, Republicans, it is more important now than ever
Speaker 1: that we passed the one big beautiful bill. The USA
Speaker 1: will soar like never before the next one. It is
Speaker 1: imperative that Republicans in the House past the tax cut bill.
Speaker 1: Now our country will boom. Yeah, actually we've we've been
Speaker 1: booming all the destruction in Mayhem. That's the sound you
Speaker 1: were hearing, was the boom fixing trade in tariffs is
Speaker 1: a good thing. Jamie Diamond, JP Morgan Chase chairman and
Speaker 1: CEO on Maria B Show. Did he call Maria Bartiromo
Speaker 1: a B be cool? Capitals? Be cool? He wrote in
Speaker 1: number six, be cool. Hello, my fellow teenagers, be cool.
Speaker 1: Everything is going to work out well. The USA will
Speaker 1: be bigger and better than ever before. And the last one,
Speaker 1: this is a great time to buy DJT. You're making
Speaker 1: Herbert Hoover look like Warren Buffett. Here chauncey and when
Speaker 1: all that didn't work, he paused, kind of the tariffs
Speaker 1: while his Trade Rep Jamison Greer was testifying to Ways
Speaker 1: and Means. Middle of his goddamn testimony, Greer had already
Speaker 1: spent four hours looking like an idiot bullshitter. When the
Speaker 1: idiot bullshit he was defending was completely changed, he found
Speaker 1: out on his phone. Then he looked like an uninformed,
Speaker 1: idiot bullshitter. I was waiting for mister Chairman. I'd like
Speaker 1: to amend my remarks. Which ones missed your witness, all
Speaker 1: of them. But the tariffs were not reduced at all
Speaker 1: against China. They were increased, and not apparently the next
Speaker 1: tariffs they're not being reduced the ones against the pharmaceutical industry.
Speaker 1: Because when you pissed away almost all of your presidential
Speaker 1: support in eight days, the first thing you want to
Speaker 1: do then is drive up everybody's cost at the pharmacy counter.
Speaker 1: And nobody told Treasury Secretary Scott Bessant, the guy who
Speaker 1: looks like a foppish character played by the actor Barry Bostwick.
Speaker 1: Nobody told him not to hint at the next next
Speaker 1: tariff quote. It's main streets, turn main street, clothing stores, restaurants, coffee, water,
Speaker 1: the street traffic of American commerce, kill it as quickly
Speaker 1: as possible. Remind people that when those prices double, you know,
Speaker 1: you can make your own own coffee at home, and
Speaker 1: you can buy one plastic bottle and refill it with
Speaker 1: tap water for the rest of your life. Did you
Speaker 1: know that we used to do it that way. Make
Speaker 1: it clear to them that to Trump, America does not
Speaker 1: have people in it, only companies, and that the point
Speaker 1: of Trump's America is to charge Americans more for everything.
Speaker 1: Citizens are a mere infestation in corporate land. The Footwear
Speaker 1: Distributors and Retailers of America Association now says that if
Speaker 1: running shoes now made in China or Vietnam that now
Speaker 1: cost you one hundred dollars are instead going to be
Speaker 1: made here, they will cost you three or four hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: That is not changing, that was not paused. If you
Speaker 1: drive a car, I'll tear if the street. If you
Speaker 1: try to sit, I'll tear if your seat. If you
Speaker 1: get too cold, I'll tariff the heat. If you take
Speaker 1: a walk, I'll tariff your feet. Sorry, George Harrison, it
Speaker 1: is so bad, so bad that even the New York
Speaker 1: both sides as times, has begun to sit up and
Speaker 1: take notice, right next to the surprisingly timely and relevant
Speaker 1: investigative piece for which it expects to receive the next pulletzer.
Speaker 1: Seven ways to turn a can of tuna into lunch
Speaker 1: or even dinner was analysis by David Sanger about this
Speaker 1: Trump policy. Even though the word policy implies there's some
Speaker 1: plan or just some similarity from one hour's actions to
Speaker 1: the next, the quote burn it down first, figure out
Speaker 1: the consequence's later recklessness. The costs of that approach are
Speaker 1: now becoming clear. That administration officials knew the markets would
Speaker 1: dive and other nations would retaliate when Trump announced his
Speaker 1: long promised reciprocal tariffs. But when pressed, several senior officials
Speaker 1: can seated that they had spent only a few days
Speaker 1: considering how the economic earthquake might have second order effects.
Speaker 1: This was before they were trying to fish all the
Speaker 1: victims out of the water after Trump deliberately steered into
Speaker 1: the reherreic Iceberg, and most of them had already drowned,
Speaker 1: but some didn't. So Peter Navarro went on Fox Pravda
Speaker 1: Tasks and announced, this is one of the greatest days
Speaker 1: in American economic history. Yes, Sir Shrimpy, just like the
Speaker 1: day after Black Thursday in nineteen twenty nine. I mean,
Speaker 1: there wasn't also a Black Friday that was also one
Speaker 1: of the greatest days in American economic history, wasn't it? Uh?
Speaker 1: Wasn't it all right? The too long didn't listen version
Speaker 1: to all this, the president might be insane. Let me
Speaker 1: circle back to that Wall Street big roller researchery. He
Speaker 1: is Thomas E. Lee, co founder, head of research at
Speaker 1: FS insight by Fundstrat. Because the big money spends none
Speaker 1: of it on good company names. My old colleague Carl
Speaker 1: Kintonia pulled this for mister Lee's newsletter. In the last
Speaker 1: few days, we have had many conversations with macro fund managers,
Speaker 1: and their concern is that the White House is not
Speaker 1: acting rationally, but rather on ideology. Nothing gets past the billionaire,
Speaker 1: and some even fear that this may not even be ideology.
Speaker 1: A few have quietly wondered if the President might be insane.
Speaker 1: I wrote this in twenty sixteen, Oh, big piecebo, could
Speaker 1: the president pass its sanity test? At least it's nice
Speaker 1: to know we're not alone in our assessment for all
Speaker 1: the rebounding yesterday. Hey, we're hemorrhaging less there's a problemigger
Speaker 1: than all the positives put together. This is from Stephen McDonald,
Speaker 1: the BBC's man in China, a sharp Australian who was
Speaker 1: about a month ahead of every other Western correspondent on
Speaker 1: that little story coming out of there a few years
Speaker 1: ago called COVID quoting him lightest message from beijingg via
Speaker 1: a state media account. Well that's the way he talks,
Speaker 1: linked to China's central television. Washington is trying to defeat
Speaker 1: countries one by one, but the China will back the
Speaker 1: multilateral trade system. It says, don't go to Trump with
Speaker 1: your begging bowl. It's what he wants to steamroll you.
Speaker 1: The message that Trump is lining up countries to steamroll
Speaker 1: of them one at a time could resonate well in
Speaker 1: the region. Developing countries like Cambodia, Laos in Vietnam are
Speaker 1: all being hit hard by his tariffs. Now Xijinping calling
Speaker 1: for increased supply chain cooperation with them unquote. The problem
Speaker 1: for US financial laymen is that Trump may now pretend
Speaker 1: it's all better, and much of Wall Street may to. Certainly,
Speaker 1: yesterday's numbers suggested that we're only losing this ball game
Speaker 1: one hundred and thirty two to sixty one now, but
Speaker 1: China is now out to kill us financially, and they're
Speaker 1: doing it. And every one of our allies whom Trump
Speaker 1: threatened with a gun now realizes that was just his finger.
Speaker 1: He was pointing, concealing it in his pocket, and he's
Speaker 1: got really puny, tiny fingers and they're not loaded, and
Speaker 1: they're impotent. Now the subtext here that most people did
Speaker 1: not notice because Wall Street was too busy re enacting
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty nine. Is there more to this than sheer
Speaker 1: insanity and in confidence? Did Trump crash the stock market
Speaker 1: deliberately as he boasted online semi trollingly, so that his
Speaker 1: insiders could make money. Politico inadvertently fed this narrative. Its
Speaker 1: chief stenographer and seapack part time spokesmodel, Dash of Burns
Speaker 1: drank the whole pitcher of kool aid on Tuesday. Quote
Speaker 1: inside the White House itself, the outlook is downright rosie
Speaker 1: among a select group of Trump's inner circle. Ebuliant is
Speaker 1: how one insider close to the administration described the mood
Speaker 1: in the West Wing. Nobody is fearful. They knew this
Speaker 1: stock market reaction was coming. They feel like everything is
Speaker 1: going according to If only we'd remembered to write a plan.
Speaker 1: The key part of that quote, they knew this stock
Speaker 1: market reaction was coming. They feel like everything is going
Speaker 1: according to plan. Andrew Ross Sorkin on CNBC said, there
Speaker 1: was real potential that quote. It would not shock me
Speaker 1: if we were to find out that a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of people who work in Washington as our elected leaders,
Speaker 1: ultimately sold stocks last week were potentially worse than that
Speaker 1: shorted the market. But how could we ever find something
Speaker 1: like that out? Oh, Marjorie stupid Green? Here it is
Speaker 1: on a website called sludge. Readsludge dot com investigative journalism
Speaker 1: on Money in Politics, quoting them, Representative Marjorie Taylor Green
Speaker 1: are for GA and we know what the R stands for.
Speaker 1: A close ally of President Trump invested as much as
Speaker 1: seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars in US Treasury bonds
Speaker 1: from mid to late March, according to transaction disclosures reviewed
Speaker 1: by Sludge. The purchases made in three transactions between March
Speaker 1: seventeen and March twenty five aligned with her vocal support
Speaker 1: for Trump's recently imposed tariffs. How could we have ever
Speaker 1: found out?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: It's Marjorie stupid Green. I knew there was grift here.
Speaker 1: That's not real insight. There's grift everything in everywhere. Anything
Speaker 1: he does is grift. And I knew it as soon
Speaker 1: as I heard Rand Paul as the sole voice of
Speaker 1: reason the teriff's debate. He said, the whole tariff debate
Speaker 1: is so fundamentally backwards, an upside down. It's based on
Speaker 1: a fallacy. And the fallacy is this, that's somehow in
Speaker 1: a trade someone must lose that somehow when you raid
Speaker 1: with someone, someone is taking advantage of you. I have
Speaker 1: a trade deficit with my grocery store. The billionaire Ken
Speaker 1: Langone attacked Trump. The tariff on Vietnam was bullshit. According
Speaker 1: to Langon, Musk attacked Navaro. Navaro attacked Musk. Scott Besson's mentor,
Speaker 1: a billionaire named drucken Miller, posted, I do not support
Speaker 1: tariff succeeding ten percent. Incidentally, I think they're going to
Speaker 1: make besson't take the fall here. He just looks like
Speaker 1: the guy who takes the fall. But the all time
Speaker 1: Lulu quote was this one. The tariffs are quote more
Speaker 1: severe than I would have expected, particularly the way it
Speaker 1: is impacting Vietnam, China and Cambodi is more extreme than
Speaker 1: I would have thought. That was from Wilbur Ross. Wilbur Ross,
Speaker 1: the ancient Trump Commerce secretary. Last time, you know how
Speaker 1: old Wilbur Ross is two hundred and six. And of
Speaker 1: course this time Trump continues to have only the best people.
Speaker 1: The inflatable rubber raft known as Christy Nome has now
Speaker 1: been accompanied by the fascist stochastic terrorist influencer who smears liberals,
Speaker 1: and they gave her a dress up outfit two so
Speaker 1: she and the dog killer pretended to arrest criminals, even
Speaker 1: though a civilian can't really legally pretend to be part
Speaker 1: of homeland security. Then the Attorney General, Pam Blondie, I'm sorry, Bondi.
Speaker 1: Pam got backed into a corner by a reporter admitting
Speaker 1: that they had deported innocent people. And when they pointed
Speaker 1: this out to her, that she had been backed into
Speaker 1: a corner, she just walked away from the microphone because
Speaker 1: she is drowning in this job. And you probably he
Speaker 1: didn't hear this one, but one of Marco Rubio's bodyguards
Speaker 1: has been arrested in Belgium. This was at the end
Speaker 1: of last month. The Brussels Times reports Brussel's police took
Speaker 1: a Diplomatic Security Service shift supervisor don't say that five
Speaker 1: times fast into custody at the Hotel Amigo when they
Speaker 1: alleged he got violent with hotel staff because they would
Speaker 1: not reopen the bar after hours, which that night would
Speaker 1: have been at midnight. The embassy got him released. I
Speaker 1: smell the next head of the secret Service. Then there's
Speaker 1: Dan Bongino, new deputy director to the FBI director Popeye.
Speaker 1: More on the FBI director Cash Patel and his guest
Speaker 1: shot on Russian state television coming up in Worse Persons,
Speaker 1: But this is about his deputy, Bongino and the intelligence
Speaker 1: community's genuine shock that when the Bureau issued a message
Speaker 1: to its staff they call it a canvas, asking for
Speaker 1: volunteer agents to serve on his twenty four hour a
Speaker 1: day protective security detail. They asked for a total of
Speaker 1: twenty agents. They need twenty agents to protect this one skinny,
Speaker 1: useless guy, Like, what are eight of them at a
Speaker 1: time going to surround him on all sides as he
Speaker 1: walks down the hall. Actually that makes sense, that could
Speaker 1: explain it. They would then be able to make sure
Speaker 1: nobody gets close enough to confirm that Dan Bongino's hair
Speaker 1: is not his own. And last week, of all the
Speaker 1: things Trump doesn't understand, the thing he most doesn't understand
Speaker 1: the best is he's a fat old man who keeps
Speaker 1: forgetting to put bronzer on anything but his face, so
Speaker 1: his hands look like he's holding mashed potatoes, and who
Speaker 1: the other day managed to shape his hair into an
Speaker 1: almost perfect square so that he looked like the President
Speaker 1: of Minecraft. Trump, though, continues to make jokes about other
Speaker 1: people's faces, anybody else's face, anybody else in the world's face,
Speaker 1: eight billion, sixty two million faces in the world right now,
Speaker 1: and his would rank number eight billion, sixty two million.
Speaker 1: And he still says crap like this, Adam Shifty Shifts.
Speaker 2: Can you believe this guy? He's got the smallest neck
Speaker 2: I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: And the biggest. Said, we call them watermelon head.
Speaker 2: I say, how could that big, fat face.
Speaker 1: Stand on a neck that looked like this finger. Fortunately
Speaker 1: Trump has enough extra necks and chins to take care
Speaker 1: of Shift and the entire Senate for that matter, So
Speaker 1: I said, finally, but I did want to say goodbye
Speaker 1: first to Gretchen Whitmer, who Gavin Newsom to herself yesterday, first,
Speaker 1: the governor of Michigan came out in favor of tariffs,
Speaker 1: some tariffs anyway, on the day Trump would punt some tariffs.
Speaker 1: Trump signed more executive arders in the Oval yesterday for
Speaker 1: higher flow shower heads for prosecuting Conservative election monitor Chris
Speaker 1: Krebs about shipbuilding. There's some anti miles tailor stuff. I
Speaker 1: don't know, more tariffs maybe who knows and who's in
Speaker 1: the corner not smart enough to get out of the
Speaker 1: goddamned Oval office while all this is going on. Gretchen
Speaker 1: goddamned Whitmer. Honored to have Gretchen Whittmer from Michigan, the
Speaker 1: great state of Michigan. And she's been she's really done,
Speaker 1: an excellent job, very good person, that was Trump. Don't
Speaker 1: know what route you think you you are on politically, Governor.
Speaker 1: But whenever you get to your destination, say hi to
Speaker 1: Gavin Newsom when you get there, because he's done and
Speaker 1: you're done, because neither of you has learned the Howard
Speaker 1: Dean Rudy Giuliani rule. Do not start already running for president,
Speaker 1: especially if it involves compromising with the other side, whom
Speaker 1: everybody hates. Do not start already running for president four
Speaker 1: years from now until it's only like eighteen months from now.
Speaker 1: And also governor. If you buy one Trump Executive idiot order,
Speaker 1: you get the rest for free, and never ever get
Speaker 1: the endorsement of the worst leader in the history of
Speaker 1: the free world. Buy now, Gretchen. Also of interest here
Speaker 1: in an all new edition, watching Laura Ingram carrying all
Speaker 1: that water for Trump, still lying without pause even last night,
Speaker 1: as his Titanic goes to the bottom, Bob's back up
Speaker 1: to the top, then goes to the bottom again. This
Speaker 1: reminds me of my dates with her. You heard me
Speaker 1: because all of the liquid she drank NonStop, non stop.
Speaker 1: I was worried about the explosion risk, but usefully she
Speaker 1: explained the nascent prototype of the fascist media ecosphere, which
Speaker 1: I will repeat things I promised not to tell, and
Speaker 1: in this case things I'm surprised I survived. And more
Speaker 1: on cash Betel, Wayne Gretzky and the hockey writer moron
Speaker 1: who is defending them both. That's next. This is countdown
Speaker 1: George Crowing the pleasure to have you here. Thank you.
Speaker 1: This is the best news show ever. I told that
Speaker 1: to one of your producers, and I want you to
Speaker 1: know that I've seen them all and it's just for
Speaker 1: especially the first.
Speaker 2: Thirty five minutes.
Speaker 1: Thank you. So it's just unparalleled. I got bad news
Speaker 1: between you and I. We got six minutes to completely
Speaker 1: still that in my back. Yeah, that's okay. Still ahead
Speaker 1: in this edition to countdown. Well, I needed to bring
Speaker 1: George back here just for the moment because I needed
Speaker 1: to help today. I'm going to spare you the details
Speaker 1: actually good, but discerning regular listeners may have heard, may
Speaker 1: hear a roughness to my voice, a side effect of
Speaker 1: some heavy duty medication for a heavy duty gut problem. Gut,
Speaker 1: I hope not guts, but it's playing Jiminy ned with
Speaker 1: my stamina. So still ahead on countdown. I'll think of
Speaker 1: something first, believe it or not. There's still more new
Speaker 1: idiots to talk about. The roundup of the miscrants, morons
Speaker 1: and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute the latest other
Speaker 1: worst persons in the world. Here are the nominees. The
Speaker 1: Bronze worst. Joe Manchin, the former Senator and pretend Democrat
Speaker 1: from West Virginia. Joe has just revealed he's writing a book.
Speaker 1: It's called dead Center in Defense of common Sense. It's
Speaker 1: about his political accomplishments and a defense of his politics.
Speaker 1: What is it? Four pages long, preface by Kirsten Cinema,
Speaker 1: once sentence, I'm great. The best part is the cover
Speaker 1: of Joe Mansion dead Center in Defensive common Sense is
Speaker 1: a tight shot of Mansion's Joe thaismanesque face, but only
Speaker 1: half of his face. Seriously, it's a photograph of half
Speaker 1: of him only in terms of how you look at it,
Speaker 1: viewer left or viewer right, only the right half. Joe's photo,
Speaker 1: symbolizing the dead center of his politics, is actually a
Speaker 1: photo of the far right, only the far right, only
Speaker 1: his far right. Joe Manchin only on the far right
Speaker 1: kind of summarizes Joe Manchin, don't it? The runner up
Speaker 1: worser Marjorie's Stupid Green. First, I'll read her tweet, Then
Speaker 1: I'll read the caption of the screen shot she retweeted.
Speaker 1: Then i will read the screenshot she retweeted first from
Speaker 1: Marjorie's Stupid Green herself quote left always pays protest hears
Speaker 1: and here's the pray. Meanwhile, we never had to hire
Speaker 1: anyone to attendance support praise. He d dramp at his
Speaker 1: he rally, then an account called Wall Street Ape. So
Speaker 1: that's what a musk Bitcoin NFT confidence game account. Remember
Speaker 1: NFTs quote paid to protest positions are being posted on
Speaker 1: Craig's list. A huge amount of the new positions being
Speaker 1: posted everywhere are to protest cash paid. They've always lied.
Speaker 1: They used to be better at it than this. Here
Speaker 1: is the list, endorsed by Marjorie Stupid Green. Los Angeles
Speaker 1: hands Off Anti Trump Protest Merch Sales Team cash paid
Speaker 1: four days ago. Los Angeles hands Off Anti Trump Protest
Speaker 1: Merch Sales Team, cash paid four days ago. Los Angeles
Speaker 1: hands Off Anti Trump Protest Merch Sales Team cash paid
Speaker 1: five days ago, Central La sell protest and resistance products
Speaker 1: at protest rallies in your area. Sales at protest and
Speaker 1: resistance rallies days ago. Los Angeles hands Off Anti Trump
Speaker 1: Protest Merch Sales Team cash paid seven days ago. I'm
Speaker 1: assuming you have noticed by now what all of those
Speaker 1: will pay you to protest against Trump Craigslist ads actually
Speaker 1: have in common. Not one of them offers to pay
Speaker 1: you to protest against Trump. They are all trying to
Speaker 1: hire people to sell merchandise and products at the anti
Speaker 1: Trump protests, which I believe the fascists until I don't
Speaker 1: know they crashed the stock market the fascists used to
Speaker 1: praise as capitalism and bootstrapping and independent small businesses merchandise.
Speaker 1: They're not hiring protesters, They're hiring people to sell crap
Speaker 1: to the protesters. And Marjorie stupid Green missed that part.
Speaker 1: Plus there is a special ey to her assertion that
Speaker 1: nobody has ever hired to work at the Trump rallies,
Speaker 1: given that all the Trump rallies are is merch sales.
Speaker 1: In fact, all the Trump presidency has been is merchandise sales.
Speaker 1: This con man sold t shirts with his own mugshot
Speaker 1: photo on it, and merchandise with pictures of the moment
Speaker 1: he got shot. I mean, consider this just on a
Speaker 1: human level, or whatever it is. He is just on
Speaker 1: a base level. Do you know how stone cold dead
Speaker 1: your soul has to be if you are not bothered
Speaker 1: at all by pictures of the moment you got shot?
Speaker 1: How addicted, how consumed by money do you have to
Speaker 1: be to ignore that memory of hell? That was almost
Speaker 1: my last second on this earth, and I spent it
Speaker 1: in that town. Even that now he tries to make
Speaker 1: a profit off of it. There's nobody there there. What
Speaker 1: can I do with this? Well, if I don't die,
Speaker 1: I can sell pictures of this. But tell me again
Speaker 1: about how nobody gets paid at a Trump rally when
Speaker 1: the ads are all about anti Trump merchandise at the
Speaker 1: anti Trump rally and Marjorie stupid Green, everyone but our winner.
Speaker 1: Worse even than that, the worst Frank Cerravali, who used
Speaker 1: to be a hockey reporter. He worked for the Philadelphia
Speaker 1: Daily News and then for the Canadian Sports TV Network TSN.
Speaker 1: He's now on a hockey website you've never heard of,
Speaker 1: just like I've never heard of, even though I've been
Speaker 1: covering hockey professionally since nineteen seventy six. Somehow, though this
Speaker 1: Frank sara Vali is still the president of the Professional
Speaker 1: Hockey Writers Association. The PHWA professional applies to the writers,
Speaker 1: not the association. Frank is a dope, and Frank is maga.
Speaker 1: It happens. Unlike those people, the magadopes, the rest of us,
Speaker 1: You and I, we don't think that disqualifies you from
Speaker 1: working in sports, or working in general, or living in America.
Speaker 1: Go make your money, have a nice life. Just stop
Speaker 1: trying to shove your stupidity down our throats. That's all
Speaker 1: we ask. But Frank is a real dope, and he
Speaker 1: has now crossed a real line. By way of background,
Speaker 1: this is not the first time he has crossed a
Speaker 1: real line. It is not the first time this hockey
Speaker 1: season he has crossed a real line. Frank once got
Speaker 1: the list of the players to be chosen in an
Speaker 1: NHL expansion draft before the draft actually started. It was
Speaker 1: to be televised live, so Frank took this list and
Speaker 1: published it hours in advance without spoiler alerts or anything.
Speaker 1: And last fall, after the Columbus Blue Jacket star Johnny
Speaker 1: Gudreau and his brother were killed by a drunk driver
Speaker 1: the weekend of their own sister's wedding, Frank Saravali wrote
Speaker 1: on his website his predictions for the twenty twenty four
Speaker 1: to twenty five hockey season, quoting screenshots saved by the
Speaker 1: Twitter account the win column, which is devoted to the
Speaker 1: Calgary Flames team. Here's the first version of what Frank
Speaker 1: Saravali wrote about the Columbus Blue Jackets fourteen. With a
Speaker 1: little help from Gaudreau, that would be the star player
Speaker 1: one of the two who was killed. The Columbus Blue
Speaker 1: Jackets will win the twenty twenty five draft Lottery. It's
Speaker 1: the only consolation prize on a brutal year, but hope
Speaker 1: and help is on the way. But that is that
Speaker 1: the Blue Jackets have never won the lottery. Somebody, maybe Frank,
Speaker 1: decided that was pretty sick, so he reportedly changed to
Speaker 1: According to another screenshot from the same source, fourteen, with
Speaker 1: a little help from above, the Columbus Blue Jackets will
Speaker 1: win the twenty twenty five draft Lottery. It's the only
Speaker 1: consolation prize a brutal year, but hope and help is
Speaker 1: on the way. Bananas that the Blue Jackets have never
Speaker 1: won the lottery. Apparently Frank still thought he could finesse
Speaker 1: this and that he really hadn't done enough on the
Speaker 1: subject of Johnny Gudrou's death and how this idea got
Speaker 1: into his head that the Blue Jackets would be compensated
Speaker 1: for their beloved players heartbreaking death with a draft choice
Speaker 1: the third version of the Sarah Valley. Per the screenshots fourteen,
Speaker 1: with a little help from Gudrou in Heaven, the Columbus
Speaker 1: Blue Jackets will win the twenty twenty five Draft lottery.
Speaker 1: It's the only consolation prize on a brutal year. But
Speaker 1: hope and help is on the way. Bananas that the
Speaker 1: Blue Jackets have never won the lottery, Well, based on
Speaker 1: your logic, it's because their previous players had not been killed.
Speaker 1: Remember what I said, Frank, Sara Valley's a dope. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is what I'm talking about. At that point, after
Speaker 1: the third version of this heinous, unnecessary, gratuitous, indulgent, moronic paragraph,
Speaker 1: Sarah Valley gave up. Now he had no excuse for this.
Speaker 1: The fatal accident was in August and the column was
Speaker 1: in early October. None of this was heat of the moment.
Speaker 1: None of this was ill advised, none of this was
Speaker 1: christ What did I write that for? Called out? Frank
Speaker 1: Saravali apologized and said I'll be better. Well, he has
Speaker 1: not been better. I've outlined here in the last few
Speaker 1: weeks or tried to the amazing pain being felt in
Speaker 1: our neighbor's home. Canada, as its former hero of heroes,
Speaker 1: Wayne Gretzky, has gradually betrayed his country as Trump's threats
Speaker 1: against Canada economic threats, independence threats, insulting references to the
Speaker 1: Prime minister, just being the governor of the fifty first State, etc.
Speaker 1: As Trump's done that, Gretzky has incredibly, mysteriously self destructively
Speaker 1: gotten closer and closer to Trump this climax. Last Friday
Speaker 1: night is Vladimir Putin's pal Alex Ovechkin tied Gretzky's record
Speaker 1: for the most career in National Hockey League goals, and
Speaker 1: Gretzky sat cheering from a suite in the arena, seated
Speaker 1: next to election denier and Trump thug and fanboy of
Speaker 1: the January sixth terrorists, Old Popeye himself, Cash Pattel. Hockey
Speaker 1: people in both countries, especially Wayne's friends in Canada, have
Speaker 1: tried to explain to him what he's doing to the
Speaker 1: nation of his birth and thus to himself. Hockey, which
Speaker 1: among all sports, does a fairly good job of keeping
Speaker 1: politics out or at least at arm's length, Hockey, seems
Speaker 1: to have uniformly tried to help Wayne steer out of
Speaker 1: this skid, and lots of people would have been upset if,
Speaker 1: for some reason, Wayne Gretzky had been accompanied at that
Speaker 1: game by the former FBI director Chris Ray, or if
Speaker 1: he'd been accompanied by Jay Edgar effing Hoover for that matter.
Speaker 1: But that's not the way Frank Siavali, whose organization represents
Speaker 1: all the hockey writers in both Canada and the US,
Speaker 1: that's not the way he sees it. This, he said
Speaker 1: on some podcast, is an unfair attack on Gretzky's patriotism
Speaker 1: and on Cash Patel. Sarahvali called this all political bs.
Speaker 1: Here is the clip, and as you rage over it,
Speaker 1: I will explain specifically why sarah Vali is so wrong
Speaker 1: and why this time he is once again such an asshole.
Speaker 2: The continued political bs that came on the back end
Speaker 2: of Wayne Gretzky celebrating it with the ultimate class as
Speaker 2: he always does.
Speaker 1: Alex Ovachkin.
Speaker 2: Oh, he brought the FBI director Cash Patel to the
Speaker 2: last couple games. Okay, so what Cash Pattel is a
Speaker 2: hockey guy? Go look it up. He go watched the
Speaker 2: video and photos of Cash Betel playing hockey Guy's a
Speaker 2: legit hockey guye So because he's a Republican, because he's
Speaker 2: in a Republican office, all of a sudden, we can't
Speaker 2: have that. Kwayne Gretzky is a trader.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's start at that beginning, Frank Saravali called the
Speaker 1: attack on Gretzky and Patel quote political bs. Well, the
Speaker 1: attack on Wayne Gretzky isn't political bs because it's a
Speaker 1: little bigger than that. Patel's boss threatened to crush Canada
Speaker 1: economically and force it to become part of the United States,
Speaker 1: implied in this, Eventually something more than economic pressure would
Speaker 1: be brought into the States force it to become part
Speaker 1: of the United States. And while he's doing that, Gretzky's
Speaker 1: at Mary Lago wearing one of the Trump fascist hats
Speaker 1: and sitting next to Cash Patel at this landmark moment
Speaker 1: in hockey history. And the attack on Patel isn't political
Speaker 1: bs either, because Patel is not, just as Sara Vale
Speaker 1: just put it, a Republican in a Republican office. His
Speaker 1: aforementioned predecessor, Christopher Ray FBI director, was also a Republican.
Speaker 1: And by the way, that's supposed to be neither a
Speaker 1: Republican nor a Democratic office unless you have a corrupt
Speaker 1: president in charge. Joe Biden had a Republican. Donald Trump
Speaker 1: had a nominal Republican who's actually just a trumpeken, a
Speaker 1: Trump slave, a Trump whore. Cash Pateel popularized the exploitation
Speaker 1: and misuse of our national anthem, mixing in singing with
Speaker 1: the convicted sometimes confessed January sixth criminals, with them actually singing.
Speaker 1: Mixing that in along with some of Trump's famous Beertisgarden speeches,
Speaker 1: mixed it all together into a revised version of the
Speaker 1: Star Spangled Banner. Anybody else in American political history who
Speaker 1: wrote their own version of the Star Spangled Banner would
Speaker 1: have been living lining now in Trinidad and or Tobago
Speaker 1: if they were lucky. Cash Betel believes or pretends to believe,
Speaker 1: the big lie about the twenty twenty election. It was
Speaker 1: not fixed. They can keep saying it until the world ends.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean it happened. Cash Bettel has helped poison America.
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty, he was accused of risking the lives
Speaker 1: of two American hostages in Yemen by commenting publicly on
Speaker 1: their rescue before it happened. There was his involvement in
Speaker 1: Trump's actions that led to Trump being charged under the
Speaker 1: Espionage Act, and the story, maybe a real story, maybe
Speaker 1: not a real story, that Trump declassified everything in that
Speaker 1: whole thing verbally but only to him Cash Battel. And
Speaker 1: then there was cash Betel's insistence in the past month
Speaker 1: that there was no need for an FBI investigation into
Speaker 1: this year's security disaster, also touching on Yemen with the
Speaker 1: hegseeth Waltz butt dials signal tre He also, if you
Speaker 1: can believe this, celebrated Ovechkin tying the Gretzky record by
Speaker 1: doing an interview with Russian State Propaganda Television, our director
Speaker 1: of the Federal Bureau of Intelligence on Russian TV Russian TV,
Speaker 1: where nightly they fantasize about nuking Europe and US, and
Speaker 1: by US, I mean Canada and the United States. Cash
Speaker 1: Pttel isn't toxic because he's a Republican, Sara Vlli. He's
Speaker 1: toxic because he's an irresponsible, seemingly unstable political fanatic now
Speaker 1: in charge of and capable of utterly misusing the foremost
Speaker 1: law enforcement and investigation body in this country. And if,
Speaker 1: for some reason, Frank, he decided to use it against you,
Speaker 1: you couldn't stop him. And more importantly, he's a hockey guy.
Speaker 1: Frank Saravali said, this is all okay because he's a
Speaker 1: hockey guy. Look it up. Look at the video. He
Speaker 1: played hockey ones. He coached some kids hockey team once,
Speaker 1: so that makes it okay. I did three years of
Speaker 1: play by play of my high school hockey team. I
Speaker 1: attended my first NHL game in nineteen sixty nine, my
Speaker 1: first Stanley Cup final game in nineteen seventy nine, covered
Speaker 1: my first final game in nineteen eighty, and I broke
Speaker 1: of all things. Now in the context of what's going on,
Speaker 1: I broke the story of the Wayne Gretzky trade to
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. I'm a hockey guy, and guess what, if
Speaker 1: for some reason Wayne Gretzky had wanted to have me
Speaker 1: in that suite with him, that would have been just
Speaker 1: as inappropriate, never mind the politics, Just like, what the
Speaker 1: hell is that olverman guy doing there? Vladimir Putin is
Speaker 1: a hockey guy, Frank sara Vali, should he have been
Speaker 1: there because he's a friend of Trump's Andovetchkin's. If Wayne
Speaker 1: Gretzky's got Bobby orr In there with him or one
Speaker 1: of Gordie Howe's sons, that's a hockey guys. Battel is
Speaker 1: not a hockey guy. Cash Battel is a psycho guy.
Speaker 1: And lastly, and Ultimately, there is the baseline hypocrisy and
Speaker 1: arrogance of the Frank Cea Valleys of this world. He
Speaker 1: has dismissed the broken hearted, lost, confused and angry response
Speaker 1: over the Gretzky Trump America threatens Canada. Gretzky brings a
Speaker 1: Trump hoard to the witness the tying goal controversy story,
Speaker 1: literally one nation's anguish and another nation's queasy guilt. As
Speaker 1: political bs. He's called that political bs. He's speaking for Canada.
Speaker 1: Frank Cira Valley is from America, and he's calling it
Speaker 1: political bs. Not for the reason that you might call
Speaker 1: it political bs. Because a political flunky and political hatchetman
Speaker 1: and political thug is there where he shouldn't have been,
Speaker 1: and is intruding on a celebration of hockey history at
Speaker 1: a time of great stress between two countries, caused entirely
Speaker 1: by this country of which he is a citizen, of
Speaker 1: which he is a supporter of our rogue, crazy president,
Speaker 1: intruding on a celebration of hockey history which should have
Speaker 1: featured no politicians. I don't care. I was Barack goddamned
Speaker 1: Obama on skates. It's not political bs to Frank Saravali
Speaker 1: because there should be some lines between politicians and sports,
Speaker 1: like when the all time record is broken, especially if
Speaker 1: the politicians have threatened to attack the country in which
Speaker 1: the league in which this is all happening is based.
Speaker 1: It's political bs to Sarabali because Saravali is a Republican
Speaker 1: and in the face of any criticism of them, all
Speaker 1: Republicans are, especially the magas. As a colleague of mind
Speaker 1: used to say in a different context, all Republicans are
Speaker 1: soft as church music. Cash Bettel shouldn't have been there,
Speaker 1: Wayne Gretzky shouldn't have been sitting next to him, and
Speaker 1: that great hockey moment should have just been a hockey moment.
Speaker 1: And Trump and his MAGA assholes should be prevented from
Speaker 1: trying to exploit everything that happens as if they had
Speaker 1: anything more to do with it than somehow managing not
Speaker 1: to screw up remembering where the rink was. Imagine when
Speaker 1: the Los Angeles Dodgers went to the White House the
Speaker 1: other day and handed Trump a Dodger's forty seven championship
Speaker 1: World Championship uniform. If instead of wearing number forty seven
Speaker 1: on that if that uniform number had been number forty
Speaker 1: two to represent Jackie Robinson, who just last week Trump
Speaker 1: trying to erase from history in the Defense Department website.
Speaker 1: Imagine if they had done that, what would the reaction
Speaker 1: to that have been? But criticizing Cash Patel is political?
Speaker 1: Bs insisting Patel and Gretzky were wrong, but criticizing Patel
Speaker 1: and Gretzky were right. That's not political, is it? Rank?
Speaker 1: Got it? Asshole? Frank Hey, why don't you write a
Speaker 1: column demanding they give Patel an assist on Ovechkin's tying
Speaker 1: goal or give one to Trump? Sarah Vali Today's other
Speaker 1: worst person in the world. It is important to know
Speaker 1: that though Laura Ingram was the first star of MSNBC,
Speaker 1: literally shown on the cover of the New York Times
Speaker 1: magazine in a leopard print skirt in nineteen ninety five,
Speaker 1: a year before MSNBC even went on the air. It's
Speaker 1: why they hired her the skirt, she did not get
Speaker 1: her own primetime show in cable news for another twenty
Speaker 1: two years, and she did not get that show until
Speaker 1: she fully embraced Trump. And as we've seen yet again,
Speaker 1: as Trump has circled the drain, she sure has embraced
Speaker 1: him in things I promised not to tell little personal
Speaker 1: experience about embracing her. My primetime cable news show debut
Speaker 1: on October one, nineteen ninety seven. That would be twenty
Speaker 1: years before hers. But she was a guest on my
Speaker 1: show the first time the next month, November nineteen ninety seven,
Speaker 1: and she asked me out in December. I think it
Speaker 1: was long after that that Laura revealed to me that
Speaker 1: her mother's dying words to her had been, Lara, why
Speaker 1: aren't you sound BASSI I mean, who tells anybody else
Speaker 1: something like that, anybody else in the world. Why would
Speaker 1: you say that? Wouldn't you make up something nicer sounding? Laura,
Speaker 1: you have been such a great do I mean? How
Speaker 1: in the hell could I check? Even more recently than that,
Speaker 1: she had invoked her mother again in public, I think,
Speaker 1: as an excuse for raising the Social Security age, or
Speaker 1: eliminating Social Security altogether, or having ninety year old's screw
Speaker 1: little screws into American iPhones or something. I can't remember
Speaker 1: what it was. It's true, though, even as Laura flourished
Speaker 1: in television, she never said her mom, here's enough so
Speaker 1: you can retire Laura boasted in public that her mother,
Speaker 1: Anne worked until she was seventy three as a waitress
Speaker 1: full time, and boasted that her mother continued to pay
Speaker 1: off Laura's college loans. Anyway, the Ingram dates and something
Speaker 1: she told me on the first of these dates has
Speaker 1: resonated with me literally every month since and is relevant
Speaker 1: to politics today. I did not so much date her
Speaker 1: as survive her. Even then before nine to eleven helped
Speaker 1: to slide her cheese off her cracker. I find a
Speaker 1: diary entry referring to her as Hurricane Laura. That was
Speaker 1: March fifteenth, nineteen ninety eight. Beware the odds of March
Speaker 1: Julius Caesar. I didn't, honestly, and God helped me. Nearly
Speaker 1: forty eight years of dating, I have not been a kiss.
Speaker 1: And tell her I have dated. I don't know dozens.
Speaker 1: We're in a couple of hundred, actually thirteen, seriously, with
Speaker 1: maybe three exceptions. You don't know any of their names.
Speaker 1: One of them, now a political writer, basically lived with
Speaker 1: me for three years. I keep that confidence. So why
Speaker 1: am I telling this story relating that because not three
Speaker 1: months after that first date, when we were still going out,
Speaker 1: Laura Ingram asked me if she could look at a
Speaker 1: speech I was going to give it Corneill's graduation weekend
Speaker 1: and offer suggestions. This is so long ago I literally
Speaker 1: faxed it to her. Sure enough, a couple days later,
Speaker 1: I'm watching Imus in the morning, which was televised by
Speaker 1: my network MSNBC, and there on his desk in front
Speaker 1: of him is the faxed copy of my speech, and
Speaker 1: he is reading from my facts. I could recognize the
Speaker 1: exact sequence of the vertical stripes. My cheap fax machine
Speaker 1: used to streak all my outgoing pages with Laura used
Speaker 1: to go on his show a lot, so to curry
Speaker 1: favor with Imus, she sent him the speech without asking me,
Speaker 1: As I told her that day, all bets are now off.
Speaker 1: So I've told parts of this story before, like She
Speaker 1: had been in a Supreme Court clerk for Clarence Thomas,
Speaker 1: and our first date consisted of taking me on an
Speaker 1: insider's tour of the court and having me sit in
Speaker 1: his chair in tribute to him. I did not say
Speaker 1: or do anything constructive. She then cooked me the largest
Speaker 1: steak I had ever seen that did not have a
Speaker 1: rodeo cowboy riding on it, and we watched a woman
Speaker 1: later discredited because she could not keep her stories straight.
Speaker 1: Go on sixty minutes and make allegations against Bill Clinton.
Speaker 1: This is my perfect date, Laura told me, seared into
Speaker 1: my memory. But the important Laura Ingram's story sitting there
Speaker 1: in the middle of all the debris. I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever told this. The first date was only about
Speaker 1: six weeks after the then First Lady Hillary Clinton got
Speaker 1: on the Today Show and blamed the at best exaggerated
Speaker 1: scandal about her husband at Monica Lewinsky on the quote
Speaker 1: vast right wing conspiracy man sounds, Laura said that night,
Speaker 1: as she showed me her small office upstairs, I expected
Speaker 1: that she was about to decry the idea that Republicans
Speaker 1: would exploit television, talk radio and the brand new Internet
Speaker 1: to try to bring down a president from the other party.
Speaker 1: And I said, so naive little boy that I was no,
Speaker 1: not that, of course we're doing that. She was kind
Speaker 1: of offended that I doubted the conspiracy part. I explained,
Speaker 1: I'd only been covering politics for two months. At the
Speaker 1: end of the day, she said, end of the day, constantly,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's the vast part.
Speaker 1: It's not vast, vast right wing conspiracy. Why, I bet
Speaker 1: there's not even thirty of us. Laura Ingram then explained
Speaker 1: that she was essentially the central desk for what she
Speaker 1: called the miniature right wing conspiracy. She showed me a
Speaker 1: printed page that had the facts numbers of about two
Speaker 1: dozen people. There at the top are the sources, She said.
Speaker 1: There was Ted Olsen, the attorney, founder of the so
Speaker 1: called Arkansas down the husband of Barbara Olsen, a constant
Speaker 1: presence as a talking head on cable news. She later
Speaker 1: died on nine to eleven. Everybody liked her. There were
Speaker 1: several numbers in the Office of Independent Counsel ken Starr.
Speaker 1: One of them read B Cavanaugh. I said, who's that?
Speaker 1: She said, nobody important. The only other name I remember
Speaker 1: was Spencer Abraham, who then was a senator from Michigan.
Speaker 1: She said, they, including the people in ken Starr's office,
Speaker 1: sent her all the rumors, the ideas, stuff about Clinton,
Speaker 1: stuff they made up, and she distributed them to the
Speaker 1: other parts of the list. That's these numbers. One number
Speaker 1: was marked Hannity Radio, another Hannity TV, O'Reilly Radio, O'Reilly TV.
Speaker 1: There was one for Limbaugh. There was one mark Justice Thomas,
Speaker 1: and I pointed to it. He likes to stay and farmed. Now,
Speaker 1: maybe the most important name is not on that list.
Speaker 1: That's Matt Dradge. She said. Matt Drudge used all her stuff,
Speaker 1: but he didn't want any of it to be traceable,
Speaker 1: very big on not traceable. So I never fax it
Speaker 1: to him. She said, I just give it to my brother.
Speaker 1: This is when she still liked her brother. He sees
Speaker 1: Drudge all the time. He gives the stuff to Drudge. Now, Oliver,
Speaker 1: here is my baseball collection. See, there were reasons to
Speaker 1: go out with her. At the time, I could think
Speaker 1: only of an old cartoon I had once seen. It
Speaker 1: was an octopus working in the post office, using all
Speaker 1: eight of its limbs to sort the mail. But every
Speaker 1: couple of weeks it dawns on me afresh. Then I
Speaker 1: was actually a witness to one of the earliest configurations
Speaker 1: of the machinery. And there is no doubt today whether
Speaker 1: it is vast or miniature. It's beast, the machinery that
Speaker 1: links the right wing politicians and those who are supposed
Speaker 1: to be above the fray, like Supreme Court justices and
Speaker 1: special prosecutors and people like that. There with the right
Speaker 1: wing publicity outlets that pretend to be news organization like
Speaker 1: Fox and Drudge and Oaan and Newsmax, and the ones
Speaker 1: that don't even pretend, like those who succeeded Limbaugh. This
Speaker 1: machine is, in fact everything that your typical paranoid conservative,
Speaker 1: republican fascist trumpest thinks is being run by George Soros
Speaker 1: or Bill Gates or doctor Fauci or me. You want
Speaker 1: to be able to say there are reports or accusations
Speaker 1: about some Democrat or a liberal figure or celebrity. Well,
Speaker 1: somebody puts a rumor in at one end of the machinery,
Speaker 1: or somebody makes up a rumor at one end of
Speaker 1: the machinery. It is then sent to dozens of other people.
Speaker 1: They repeat it voila. Suddenly there are reports. The reports
Speaker 1: then get fed back to Fox News or Breitbart or
Speaker 1: the Wall Street Journal or the Supreme Court, or they're
Speaker 1: just tweeted by a thousand bots simultaneously. You want to
Speaker 1: push this ancient racist anti simm paranoia called the Great Replacement,
Speaker 1: But you wanted to come out washed clean enough that
Speaker 1: soulless opportunists like Elis Stephanic and JD Vance can say
Speaker 1: it aloud on the campaign trail without forfeiting their candidacies.
Speaker 1: This is the machinery. And I saw the machinery when
Speaker 1: it was just a list of twenty and thirty people,
Speaker 1: And at that moment I barely recognized the importance of
Speaker 1: what I saw. Then again, I was still on that night,
Speaker 1: recovering from not just the Giant's steak, but something far
Speaker 1: more visceral. Earlier that day, as we were leaving the
Speaker 1: Supreme Court, Laura Ingram had boasted about getting even with
Speaker 1: an ex boyfriend by going back into what had been
Speaker 1: their house and putting up exact copies of all the
Speaker 1: photos of the two of them together that he had
Speaker 1: taken down from his walls. And when he got smart
Speaker 1: and changed the locks, she went back again to finished
Speaker 1: the job. Found her key didn't work so naturally as
Speaker 1: you would. She stuffed his garden hose through the mail
Speaker 1: slot of his front door and turned on the outdoors.
Speaker 1: Spagott ten thousand dollars worth of heart. When Florence ruined,
Speaker 1: she said proudly, And part of me screamed, flee, flee.
Speaker 1: Now I didn't flee. Later, as I tried to sleep,
Speaker 1: two noises kept me awake snoring, not my own and
Speaker 1: Laura's dog. Laura's dog kept talking in his sleep, I
Speaker 1: mean almost in syllables, y like that. It was something
Speaker 1: like twenty five degrees out and I was on the
Speaker 1: second floor. And yet I resolved that if her dog
Speaker 1: really did make that last to formulate actual syllables. And
Speaker 1: it turned out her dog was the one telling her
Speaker 1: what to do, I was simply going to leave by
Speaker 1: the window without bothering to open it first. The next morning,
Speaker 1: Laura and I walked her dog. We got to an
Speaker 1: empty field. She threw a tennis ball, He went and
Speaker 1: got it. She cocked her arm back again. He took off,
Speaker 1: loving life as he did. She did not throw it.
Speaker 1: He went forty to fifty sixty feet, then stopped and
Speaker 1: looked back at her with such disappointment and even a
Speaker 1: sense of betrayal, and she said, loudly, without a trace
Speaker 1: of affection for him or anything else, wait far at
Speaker 1: which is when I realized I was being courted to
Speaker 1: be the next dog. A few weeks later, back home
Speaker 1: in New York, I got home from working an early
Speaker 1: morning shift filling in for the commentator Paul Harvey at
Speaker 1: ABC Radio. I was just waking up from a tortured
Speaker 1: nap when the phone rang and it's Laura. I'm downstairs.
Speaker 1: We're going to my old law firms party at the museum.
Speaker 1: I said. I was exhausted. We're going, or I'll just
Speaker 1: stay here at this payphone outside your planes calling you
Speaker 1: all night. We went the next option opportunity probably was
Speaker 1: going to be me on the wrong end of a
Speaker 1: hostage drama. Turned out she was not invited to her party.
Speaker 1: We're crashing it. I'm going to drink heavily. Frankly. It
Speaker 1: was a great party. I got to meet Hillary Clinton's
Speaker 1: mother and her brother. And if you think the fascists
Speaker 1: are completely sincere about everything, even their neuroses and their paranoia, no,
Speaker 1: Laura Ingram hugged Hillary Clinton's mother and Hillary Clinton's brother.
Speaker 1: They seem to be friends. Later we wound up meeting
Speaker 1: friends of her in the Oak bar at the Plaza Hotel,
Speaker 1: where she kept drinking. I was astonished. After about her
Speaker 1: sixth Cosmopolitan on top of everything she'd had at the party,
Speaker 1: she began to droop her head, nodding like a bobblehead doll.
Speaker 1: Her friend said, Okay, that's it, we'll take care of
Speaker 1: the check, you take care of her. She had not
Speaker 1: gotten a hotel room or anything. And if you've ever
Speaker 1: heard of anybody who needed to be poured into a
Speaker 1: cab because they were so drunk, you don't really know
Speaker 1: what that means until you have to pour them into
Speaker 1: a cab. Frankly, I wanted to put her in a
Speaker 1: hotel somewhere, but the spectacle would have made the gossip pages.
Speaker 1: She basically could not stand up, so I took her
Speaker 1: to my apartment, put her into my bed, and I
Speaker 1: went and slept on the couch at the far end
Speaker 1: of the apartment, which is where I was hours later
Speaker 1: in the morning when she woke me up because she
Speaker 1: came parading through using my phone to call my assistant
Speaker 1: to get a car sent to my address to take
Speaker 1: her to the airport, and to make sure that everybody
Speaker 1: in my office knew she had stayed overnight at my apartment.
Speaker 1: And all I kept thinking was why didn't I follow
Speaker 1: my instincts. My instincts said flee, I fleed. Not, of course,
Speaker 1: if I had fled, I would have missed seeing the
Speaker 1: telephone tree of the miniature right wing conspiracy, wouldn't I
Speaker 1: I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. Brian Ray and John Phillip Shaneille, the
Speaker 1: musical directors have Countdown Arrange, produced and performed most of
Speaker 1: our music. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards, Mister Ray
Speaker 1: was on the guitars, bass and drums, and it was
Speaker 1: produced by Tko Brothers. Now our satirical in fifty musical
Speaker 1: comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust.
Speaker 1: The sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two
Speaker 1: written I'm Mitch Warren Davis Curtise, CBSPN Inc. Other music
Speaker 1: arranged and performed by the group No Horns allowed. And
Speaker 1: my announcer today was just because I needed to hear
Speaker 1: his voice, my late friend George Carlin. Everything else was,
Speaker 1: as ever, my fault. That's countdown for today, just eighty
Speaker 1: two days until the scheduled end of his lane duck
Speaker 1: lame brain term unless Musk removes him sooner, or the
Speaker 1: actuarial tables due, or the billionaires due. The next scheduled
Speaker 1: countdown is Monday. Illness depending as always boltons as the
Speaker 1: news warrants also illness depending Remember impeach Trump. It won't
Speaker 1: work now, it will win the Democrats the midterms. And
Speaker 1: to add to the pressure on the Republicans, I want
Speaker 1: poling on a presidential recall vote. Even though we can't
Speaker 1: have a presidential recall vote. Somebody ask people what they think.
Speaker 1: Till next time. I'm y, good morning, good afternoon, good night,
Speaker 1: and good luck. Want some food? Do you said? Stevie
Speaker 1: Sit Countdown with Keith Olberman is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.