1 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of 2 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: Couch Talks. My name is Kat and couch Talks is 3 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: the bonus episode of You Need Therapy, where I answer 4 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: questions that you guys send into me and if you 5 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: have a question, you can send it to Catherine at 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy podcast dot com. Quick reminder up top 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: as always that yes, I'm answering these questions, and yes 8 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: I'm a therapist, that this is not therapy, and it's 9 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: just me talking about some stuff. So if you are 10 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: a regular listener of the show and you listen to 11 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: Monday's episode, you listen to some of the conclusions from 12 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: my social media experiment that I did where I unfollowed 13 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: everybody to see how that changed how I felt about 14 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: my life, how it changed how I used Instagram, how 15 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: it changed how I interacted with my friend. They just 16 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: wanted to know what would show up and how I 17 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: could learn to use Instagram in a better, healthier and 18 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: more helpful way. Because I love Instagram and I'm not 19 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: gonna go super into that. You can go back and 20 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: listen to that episode. But I did get a question 21 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: last night after a listener listened to it, and I 22 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: think It's something that I want to address now while 23 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: we're on the topic, because it is something that I 24 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: wish I would have talked about more in that episode. 25 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 1: So I'm going to read the question, and then of 26 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: course we keep it anonymous, and then we're gonna talk 27 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: about it. So the question is, Hi, Cat. I listened 28 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,320 Speaker 1: to your podcast from Monday about your social media break, 29 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: and I really enjoyed it. I also read your post 30 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: that you made on Instagram on Sunday before you released 31 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: the episode. I related to a lot of what you 32 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: were talking about when you spoke about how sometimes you 33 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: just don't want to see other people's highlights because it 34 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: reminds you of what you don't have. It sounds like 35 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: during the experiment you had a realization that even though 36 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: you don't have certain things, you also have a lot 37 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: of other, really wonderful things, and so it's easier for 38 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: you to now not get caught up in the comparison. 39 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 1: I'm wondering if you can talk more about this. I'm 40 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: having a really hard time lately watching my friends and 41 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: family members continue to move through life milestones that I 42 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: desire very deeply, and I'm not even close to having them. 43 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to come off as jealous or insensitive 44 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: or distant, but very often I can't even bring myself 45 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: to congratulate and celebrate my friends. I feel like a 46 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: bad person, And even writing this, I'm worried I'm coming 47 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: off as pathetic. I don't have a bad life, but 48 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: if I were to be honest, I would trade some 49 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: of my highlights for the things I keep seeing on Instagram. 50 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: How do I find more joy in my own life? Okay, 51 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: I'm so so glad that you asked this question and 52 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: want I just want to give you a hug because 53 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,839 Speaker 1: I feel some of that with you, and I want 54 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: to address this deeper because there's that one line that 55 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: you say. It seems like you had the realization that 56 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: even though you don't have certain things, you also have 57 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: a lot of other wonderful things, and it's easier for 58 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: you to not get caught up in the comparison because 59 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: of that. There's still an essence of comparison in that, 60 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: and I want to talk about that because that's really 61 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: not why it's easier for me to be on Instagram 62 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 1: and see people's highlights. It's not because I have things too, 63 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: And so I'm like, oh, I have things too, so 64 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: I'm not sad about that. I'm still sad about those things. 65 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: And I have things that I can share and be 66 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: grateful for and and live into as well. So it's 67 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: not a so it's an and. But before we get 68 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: into the meat of all of this, I think it's 69 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: important to acknowledge that the mindset that I have, in 70 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: the mindset that we're talking about, in the belief systems 71 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about, are things that we all have 72 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: to actively practice. Thinking it once or twice or reading 73 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: a post about it or hearing me talk about is helpful. 74 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: But to gain actual shifts in your own self, you 75 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: have to practice sudjusting yourself talk and behavior. So don't 76 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 1: be too hard on yourself. If this doesn't automatically change 77 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: the way you live your life, it's something that you 78 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: might have to come up with, like almost like initiatives 79 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: to help shift your mindset in this and and and 80 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: change behaviors and yourself talk. So let's get into it, 81 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: and let's start with the idea of can parison. Like 82 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: I said on Monday, it's a very natural thing. And 83 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: if we peel back some layers, we can see that 84 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: comparison ends up pinning us against each other. Right, So 85 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: there's a competition. And in this case and the case 86 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about, it's like there's a competition to 87 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: win at life. I can talk for my own experience 88 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: where it feels like to win at life would mean 89 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: like you get married and then you have a kid, 90 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: and you have this job, and you make this much money, 91 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: and you go on these trips and you're you wear 92 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: the size pants and you look like this, and your 93 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,559 Speaker 1: family does this, and I mean there's different things based 94 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: on like where you live and in the culture you're 95 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: immersed in that we feel like we're supposed to do 96 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: and if you do those things, you're winning. And if 97 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: you do them faster than you're winning even more. So 98 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: we can deconstruct that as well, but we're not gonna 99 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: get into that. But automatically, comparison is creating a competition, right. 100 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 1: So Instagram often makes it feel like there's competition the 101 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: way it's set up, the likes of views and all 102 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: of them. And I believe that we can choose to 103 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: not participate in this. We can choose to not participate 104 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: in the competitive aspect of Instagram. It takes work. We 105 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 1: can choose to look at people celebrating their lives as 106 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: separate from our lives. And it's difficult because this isn't 107 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: the automatic response, but it is possible, and a way 108 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: to begin to invite this idea and is to invite 109 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: the idea of dialectics. In so this is the idea 110 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: that two things can be true at the same time 111 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: that kind of like don't make sense, like to opposite 112 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 1: things can be true at the same time. And I 113 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: talked about this a lot, but it never gets old 114 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: because it's always important to remember, Like it's always important 115 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: to remember. This idea that oh I can be happy 116 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 1: and sad at the same time, Oh I can be 117 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: angry and grateful at the same time, Oh I can 118 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: be hurt and joyful at the same time. Doesn't make 119 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: a lot of sense, but it takes the idea of 120 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: all or nothing out because life isn't black and white, 121 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: and our feelings aren't black and white. So I can 122 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 1: be really happy for someone, and I can be really 123 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: sad for myself at the same time. I also can 124 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: be really happy be for myself and really sad for 125 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: myself at the same time. I can love a lot 126 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: of things about my life and really be hurt at 127 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: the same time, Like it's not all or nothing. So 128 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: inviting that idea in really helps get us away from 129 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: this spot where like, oh, I don't have that and 130 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,159 Speaker 1: they do. Oh, I guess that I have to be 131 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 1: sad because I want that, and I can't be happy 132 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: for them, right because I'm sad for myself. No, I 133 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 1: can be happy for them and sad for myself, and 134 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: at the same time I can be grateful for some 135 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: of the stuff in my life too, Like there's a 136 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 1: whole like triangle there. I can celebrate someone's success and 137 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 1: be jealous of it at the same time. Those things 138 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: don't cancel each other out either. And jealousy. Let's talk 139 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: about this, because jealousy doesn't have to be a bad thing. 140 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 1: In the email, this listener, rights, I'm having a really 141 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 1: hard time lately watching my friends and family members continue 142 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 1: to move through life's milestones that I desire very deeply 143 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: that I'm not close to. I don't want to come 144 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: off as jealous or insensitive and distant, but very often 145 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 1: I can't even bring myself to congratulate and celebrate my friends. 146 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: I would say, what do you want to be jealous? 147 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 1: Why don't you want to come off with jealous what's 148 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: wrong with jealousy? Because jealousy gets a bad reputation, and 149 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 1: I think it's because we don't like it, so then 150 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: we don't want to talk about it or admit that 151 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: we feel it, So then it turns into resentment and spite. 152 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: And quite honestly, we're taught that envy and jealousy those 153 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: are sins. By having envy, we are being ungrateful. I 154 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 1: think is something also that comes up, and that's not 155 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: the case. Ungrateful and jealous and envy don't all have 156 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: to live in the same spot. This also speaks into 157 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 1: some of what we've talked about lately about shame, you 158 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: know how like the less we talk about shame, the 159 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: more you have it, and the more you talk about it, 160 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: the less you have. I think that this is important 161 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: to talk about with with jealousy too. So if we 162 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: don't want to have it because it's a bad thing, 163 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: we tell people it's a bad thing, so we can't 164 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,119 Speaker 1: talk about it. But then what it just it doesn't 165 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: make it go away, It just turns it into something else, 166 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: just like not talking about shame doesn't make it go 167 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: a just lets it grow. And I think that not 168 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: talking about jealousy ends up creating this like big blanket 169 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: of shame. So then I'm jealous and I'm shameful, and 170 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: then I'm resentful that I'm flightful not helpful. And I 171 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: know that I feel jealous and envy when someone has 172 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: something that I want and that's okay, Like I want 173 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: you to know that that's okay, And maybe I'm ungrateful 174 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: some of those momnths short because I can be an 175 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: ungrateful person at times, but there's also a huge possibility 176 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 1: that I'm not. It's actually a super helpful experience to have. 177 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,079 Speaker 1: If I can acknowledge some envy and jealousy, then I 178 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: can say, hey, I want that that's important to me. 179 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: What can I do to help lead me to a 180 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,439 Speaker 1: place where having that thing is possible? And what am 181 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 1: I doing that might deter me from getting those things? 182 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,679 Speaker 1: And sometimes there isn't a lot we can do, Like 183 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: you can't just like work your way to finding a partner. 184 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: And I do think acknowledging is important because there could 185 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: be things that you're not doing or things that you're 186 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 1: doing that are setting herself up to be available or unavailable. 187 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: To those things, and so I do think there's power 188 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: and acknowledging it because there's sometimes is something we can do. 189 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: And Glenn and Doyle actually talks about this idea of 190 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: envy and jealousy being helpful a lot, which I really appreciate. 191 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: So she talks about this idea of envy and jealousy 192 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: being a good thing and not something that's like only 193 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,719 Speaker 1: a part of unhealthy people often, which I really appreciate. 194 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: And she talks about how she used to think that 195 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: secure women believed in abundance and so that that's why 196 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: they lifted everybody up, and then insecure women were jealous 197 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,199 Speaker 1: and that's why they tore people down. And then she 198 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: learned that all the strong women were jealous as well, 199 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: and the difference was that the insecure women mass their 200 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,959 Speaker 1: insecurity by tearing women down, and then the more wise 201 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 1: strong women mass their insecurity by raising other people up. 202 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 1: And so it's not that it's bad if you have it, 203 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: everybody has it. We have to look at how we're 204 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: using it. Right, So how am I going to use 205 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 1: these feelings that I have. I can use them for good, 206 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: I can use them for evil. And I think of 207 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: envy and jealousy as less of a sin and more 208 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: as a part of our human feeling toolkit. So you asked, 209 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,839 Speaker 1: how can I find more joy? Right? So, I think 210 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: it starts with being honest. The more I can be 211 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: honest about what I'm feeling, the better chance I have 212 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: to be led to what I desire, and the less 213 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: I'm going to shut myself down. It's a difference between 214 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 1: playing defense and offense in your own life and going 215 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: back to the idea of the competition. When I play defense, 216 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: I'm hiding right, I'm trying to make it look like 217 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: I'm okay. I'm trying to look make it look like 218 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: I'm not feeling these things. I'm trying to make it 219 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: look like I don't have these parts of my life 220 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: when I do, and that takes a lot of energy, 221 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 1: a lot. And when I'm playing offense, I'm showing up 222 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: ready and I'm showing up open. It's hard, but I'm 223 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 1: showing up ready. I'm showing up open. And what we 224 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,959 Speaker 1: have to remember in this idea is that we can 225 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: all play offense at the same time. There doesn't have 226 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: to be a defense and offense in this game because 227 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: there's no real competition and it's okay if everybody scores, 228 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 1: and it doesn't matter who scores first, like, we'll hang 229 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: out here until everybody scores. There's no time clock, there's nothing, 230 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: there's not none of that. But we create these ideas 231 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 1: in our heads based off of societal norms. But norms 232 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 1: don't mean that they're the truth. A light in the way. 233 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: Challenge the norms because they're gonna be power. There can 234 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: be power in not having something, yet it doesn't mean 235 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 1: you're not going to get it. So I hope this 236 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: was helpful, and I really want to thank the person 237 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: that wrote this question and send this email in because 238 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: this is an important thing to continue to talk about 239 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,719 Speaker 1: and continue to wander through and continue to work on. 240 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 1: So that's kind of where we're going to end it today. 241 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: And I'm totally open to more questions about this because 242 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: it's something I really like talking about um and something 243 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: that I've had to work on in my own life. 244 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: So I'm not just an expert telling you what I 245 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 1: think based on my research from a lab. I'm a 246 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: human telling you how I feel based on being a human. 247 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 1: So with that, I hope you guys have the day 248 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 1: you need to have. And I will talk to you 249 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: guys on Monday to P