1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: Am I wrong for not wanting to be a stay 2 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: at home wife when I retire? 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? When she retires? When she 4 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 2: retires stay oh like like she's she like doesn't want 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 2: to take care of the kids at home? Is it 6 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 2: with kids? We're gonna have to find out. But I'm 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 2: smelling some misogyny. I'm getting a big old with big 8 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 2: oh gee picking up some nuclear family nineteen fifty shit, yeah, yeah, 9 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 2: throwing it all the way back with that baby. We're 10 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 2: talking mad men. Goodness gracious, smoking SIGs on the in 11 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,919 Speaker 2: the middle of the day with a bottle of whiskey. 12 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 2: That's that's that's where we're taking That's where we're taking 13 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 2: getting it. It's giving mad men exactly, mad men. But 14 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 2: there's only one way to find out that's the same, 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:51,560 Speaker 2: and that is the story. 16 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: So I am retiring in about three and a half 17 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,639 Speaker 1: months January twenty twenty four. 18 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 2: Congrats. Let's go ope and. 19 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 1: My husband and I disagree on how the division of 20 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: labor should be. 21 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 2: Once that happens. Division of labor, this sounds like the 22 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 2: freaking like the feel Apartment of the government labor with 23 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 2: me and my husband, Jane. 24 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 3: Of the Command of the house. 25 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel like I'm like in the courtroom 26 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 2: right now already like the division labor is now this 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 2: you have been ordered to mop. Oh my god. 28 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,919 Speaker 1: Since meeting my now husband, I have been very vocal 29 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: about my plans to retire when I turn forty. Oh damn, 30 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: he isire early. I've planned my life around this goal, 31 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: lived below my means ever since college, and gave up 32 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: things to meet this goal. 33 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 2: Huge. 34 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: We got married in our early thirties, so it's only 35 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: been seven years since then. He also saves for retirement. 36 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: I finally got him up to his amount of twenty 37 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: percent savings, but he won't be able to retire until 38 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: he's at least sixty two, like a freaking loser, fucking oldie. 39 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 2: Why weren't you on your boss stuff like your wife? 40 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 2: OKAYOD gotta sh up. 41 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,959 Speaker 1: Come on now, he's instead chosen to spend his money 42 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: on things that make him happy, like an idiot. 43 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 2: Fucking bumm. No, come on? How dare you enjoy your life? 44 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: Sir? 45 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 2: And oh? And I fully support and encourage that. Actually 46 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 2: it's not aside this. It is rough though, that she 47 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 2: has to wait twenty years for her husband to like 48 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 2: be able to hang out with her again. She's just 49 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 2: like h on a beach in Mexico, like on a 50 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 2: zoom call with her husband, like hey, honey, has the 51 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 2: mop and go ahead. 52 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 3: Of Oh my god. I can like picture that in 53 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 3: my head and I'm just like Jesus Christ. What a 54 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 3: division of labor. 55 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: That'sion division of labor. 56 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: I've said in the past that I am not going 57 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 1: to be doing all of the cooking, cleaning and finances 58 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 1: once I retire, because I don't want to place one 59 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: job with another. Okay, fair, very fair. 60 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 2: My goodness. 61 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: I currently do all of the cooking, most of the finances, 62 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: and probably twenty five percent of the cleaning. 63 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,839 Speaker 2: That's a very specific thing. 64 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he counts if he accounts for it 65 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 3: every day, like this is how much I've done. 66 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: I am up thirty percent month over a month, Daniel, 67 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: pick up your load. I think it's fair as my 68 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: husband usually works more hours than I do and I'm 69 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: a picky eater, so it just works out best. 70 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 2: He recently made a casual. 71 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: Comment about how he's going to start working more overtime 72 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: once I retire because he'll have less household stuff to do. 73 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 2: What you mean what you mean? 74 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: I asked him what he meant by that, since my 75 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: retirement doesn't really change anything for him, and that I 76 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: preferred that he didn't work more overtime so that way 77 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,119 Speaker 1: we could spend more time together. He said that most 78 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: husbands would stay at home. Wives don't clean the house. 79 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 3: So we're going there. 80 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 2: The going there, My man is like if you are, like, 81 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 2: if he is making more money or spent like planning 82 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 2: on making more money, like why not just like hire 83 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 2: like a maid or like someone to like help you 84 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,679 Speaker 2: clean The questions I always ask, Yeah, and if she's retired, like, 85 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,840 Speaker 2: like maybe they could like both pitch in a little bit. 86 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 2: If it's financially viable, why don't we spend money on 87 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 2: that and spend the time together. Yeah. 88 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 3: Yeah. 89 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 2: To expect her to just be like, yeah, I'm just 90 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 2: gonna clean all day, it's crazy. It's crazy. 91 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 3: Oh this reeks of something and I don't like it. 92 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 2: Oh, oh, she ain't standing for it. 93 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 3: I don't like it. I don't like it. 94 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 2: I don't know what to say because I thought that 95 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 2: we had already discussed this, so I tried my best 96 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,039 Speaker 2: to change the subject, but we had an argument about 97 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 2: it yesterday at dinner and he's giving me the silent treatment. 98 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 2: It's probably something you need to talk about, like, it's 99 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 2: obviously something you guys need to You got to open 100 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 2: this up. 101 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 1: I slept in the guest room last night as he 102 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: locked our bedroom door and won't let me in. 103 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 2: Well, he's crazy. Oh that you have crossed so many 104 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 2: lines here, dude, that. 105 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 3: Is so fucked Yeah, no, I don't. That is not tolerable. 106 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,239 Speaker 2: I don't know what is. I'm getting my my beach 107 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 2: house for retirement. I'm locking you out of that. Yeah, 108 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 2: because I'm not giving you a key, because I'm leaving you. Geez. 109 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 2: Why do they have kids yet? We don't know. Okay, 110 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 2: no they don't. They don't have kids yet, which god, yes, 111 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: that means she can start living her life on the 112 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 2: beach away from this. Yeah, you want to lock me out, 113 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 2: all right? I have fun with your life. He sounds 114 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 2: nice this time of the year. You're right, you know, 115 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,160 Speaker 2: I'm gonna lock myself out of your life. That's the 116 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 2: great idea. Thanks for that. 117 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 3: I just think he's throwing a tantrum. 118 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 2: Oh he's a little whiny bitch, little queen. Anything for me. 119 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 2: We're just totally destroying this man. I just don't know 120 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 2: how to get through to him. Even though I'll no 121 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,799 Speaker 2: longer be working, I won't be a stay at home wife. 122 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 2: By my own definition. 123 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: To me, a stay at home partner is the manager 124 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 1: of the home and doesn't bring in much, if any income. 125 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: Their job is to take care of the home. I'm 126 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: not trading one job for another. I am retiring. I'm 127 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: still bringing in income. I've just planned my life so 128 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 1: I no longer have to work a nine to five 129 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: to do so. I have multiple hobbies that I've been 130 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: super excited about devoting more time to. I love rock hounding, 131 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 1: rock pounding. 132 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:50,479 Speaker 2: That he might be a typo. Wait rock pounding, it 133 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 2: says rock hounding literally rock climbing. Or maybe it's like 134 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 2: looking for rocks, like like like a bloodhound, like sniff 135 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 2: and like sick rocks to look at. What is it? 136 00:06:59,800 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 3: Right? 137 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 2: Do you know the activity of searching and collecting rocks? 138 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 2: I call it most like wholesome, sweet, innocent hobby I've 139 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 2: ever heard. Babe, I can't help that. I just put 140 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 2: eyes on Billy Bobby. 141 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I respect that though that's such a 142 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 3: niche hobby. 143 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 2: Get a load of all the hobbies here. So I 144 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 2: love rock hounding, crocheting, and hiking. Dude, I mean, hey, 145 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 2: retirement baby, Like, what's it for other than that. 146 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: I'm also an unpublished writer and have always dreamed of 147 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: becoming published. I have a lifestyle blog and a pretty 148 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: active Pinterest following. 149 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 2: I'm now a Reddit following. Hey, there we go in 150 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 2: a little bit of your writing, some notoriety. 151 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: I'm not super consistent and they're not big enough to monetize, 152 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: so I can count them as hobbies not side jobs. Listen, Okay, ope, 153 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: if you call four four zero, five eight six five 154 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: sixty seven, we can help you monetize that. 155 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 2: Yes, listen, we are. We are here to support your 156 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 2: retirement journey. You know, this one started as something that 157 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 2: made no money as I was in a bedroom, and 158 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 2: now we do make money. Putting a twist on another bedroom. 159 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 3: We're putting a twist on what it means to be 160 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 3: in a retirement home. 161 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 2: Exactly there, we freaking go. 162 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 1: I also have a very long travel bucket list. I've 163 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: already started looking into nonprofits in my area that I 164 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: could volunteer for. I know I still have limited hours 165 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: in the day, but even if I only volunteer one 166 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: day a week. I feel like it could be helping 167 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,319 Speaker 1: our local community. 168 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 2: I know we've always had conversations about this, and he's 169 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,559 Speaker 2: always been supportive, even of me leaving for a few 170 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 2: weeks every so often to do solo travel. He's always 171 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 2: been excited for me. 172 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: I am totally confused about this change, and I'm freaking out. 173 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: I thought I communicated my expectations, but he's saying that 174 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 1: he doesn't even remember talking about it, and that he's 175 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: not okay with me retiring. 176 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 2: If I'm just going to quote just gonna be lazy. 177 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 3: Gas lighter, we have a gas lighter in the house. 178 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 2: My man is throwing all the whale blubber on that 179 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 2: gaslight because this is a raging fire right now. So, 180 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 2: like is his issue that she just won't clean like 181 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 2: that that's the main crux, Like she won't take care 182 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 2: of the house. He believes that she should take care 183 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,079 Speaker 2: of the house, and she's like, I don't want to 184 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 2: do that, and but he's like op, He's like, hey, 185 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 2: we had these conversations before you agreed, and now you're like, oh, 186 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 2: I don't even remember talking about it. 187 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 3: Put this in the context, right, Let's switch the context 188 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 3: a little bit. 189 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, what if this is a. 190 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 3: Conversation about having kids and the husband is like, oh, 191 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 3: I forgot you didn't want to have kids? Like that 192 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 3: sounds awful. Yeah, the wife had communicated before that she 193 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 3: doesn't want kids. It's the exact same scenario, Yeah, in 194 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 3: a really different context. 195 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 2: And also, like I wonder if like she should like 196 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 2: like maybe just like flip it on him and say like, so, 197 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 2: all right, you're planning on retire at sixty, right, so 198 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 2: when you retire, does that mean now you take care 199 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 2: of the house completely, like like like would that make 200 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 2: it make sense for him? Yeah? Like I feel like, 201 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 2: if anything, the roles should stay the same of like 202 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 2: like however much she was cleaning before, continue that and 203 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 2: same with him. Right, Yeah, I thought Opa gave a 204 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 2: good breakdown of like, hey, in many relationships, one person 205 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,840 Speaker 2: is like, hey, I can kind of like you know, 206 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 2: manage the house, do everything else, and like I won't 207 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 2: work to make sure I have enough time to do that. 208 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 2: And then one person's helping earn the income, but OPI 209 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 2: is still has an income and is like contributing to 210 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 2: that and already does you know when she also think 211 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 2: about all the years that she was working and doing 212 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 2: like all of this like cooking and cleaning and stuff. 213 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,559 Speaker 2: But it sounds like they shared that fairly equal they 214 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 2: had it, but still at the same time, like even 215 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 2: though it was like a agreed upon expectations, she still 216 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 2: was doing. It seemed like a good amount of the 217 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:05,679 Speaker 2: lift there. 218 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. 219 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 1: So so to to then come and be like, hey, 220 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: after she uh, even though it's mutually agreed upon, did 221 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,079 Speaker 1: all that work? To then be like, all right, now 222 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: take take all the rest. 223 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 2: It's like, do you think that's something that is difficult 224 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 2: about this relationship style too? Though? Is it seems like 225 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 2: it's very like percentage based where it's like yeah, like 226 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,719 Speaker 2: I think that's also what makes it maybe even more 227 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 2: difficult is she's like, I've saved for my retirement and 228 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 2: now you say for yours. It does it's like not 229 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 2: as joint and it's like I've done my my amount 230 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 2: of work, now you do yours. It's it. It doesn't 231 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 2: feel like as much of a it doesn't feel like 232 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 2: a team in the marriage. Yeah, I didn't think about that. 233 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 3: Here's the thing, though, they've been married for quite a while, right, 234 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 3: I think seven years, right, so you know seven years 235 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,319 Speaker 3: is a long time. In the period of time, there 236 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 3: must have been an agreement where the husband and the 237 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 3: wife both think it's okay to have that level that execution. 238 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,079 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think that. I think it seems 239 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 2: like they both agree on that that that relationship. And 240 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 2: I'm just saying, like this kind of like, uh, this 241 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,959 Speaker 2: kind of like splitting down the middle. Yeah, it feels 242 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 2: like it, and that maybe a red flag is too strong, 243 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 2: but it feels like a It doesn't feel like they 244 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 2: It just doesn't feel like as much of a team. 245 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I get where you're coming from. 246 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 2: I just realized, and this is probably a stupid question, 247 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 2: but do couples typically deposit into a joint retirement account? 248 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 2: It's got to be a thing, right, I know I 249 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 2: never thought about it that. I never thought retirement or that, 250 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 2: So I. 251 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 3: Have no clue. But that is a really good question. 252 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 3: I don't. I think that's something that OP has to 253 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 3: provide more context on well, because it's really hard to say, 254 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 3: like if they have a joint account, then things get 255 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 3: a little bit finicky. 256 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 2: But sounds like they don't. 257 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, sounds like they don't. 258 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like it's very It sounds like they 259 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 2: have separate bank accounts and it's very separate. Yeah. 260 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, we have a big, juicy update, But first we 261 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: have a few comments to read. How are you currently 262 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: splitting expenses? We split expenses proportionally based on income. I 263 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: pay seventy percent of expenses and that will continue once 264 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 1: I retire. 265 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,679 Speaker 2: That changes even more for me. Yep. 266 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 1: Another comment, it feels like you two are living two 267 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: separate lives at this time. That's literally, at least as 268 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: far as finances go. OPI responds well. Other than joint expenses, 269 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 1: we keep our finances separate. When we first started dating, 270 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: we had about one hundred grand in debt. I helped 271 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 1: him get a plane in place to pay it off 272 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: and paid about twenty grand of it myself. I own 273 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: multiple rental properties that I bought in my twenties that 274 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 1: aren't marital assets. Most of the stuff I gave up 275 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 1: in my twenties before we met because I made less money. 276 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: I never went out and I lived on thirty five 277 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 1: grand a year even though I was making seventy grand 278 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 1: pre tax. Now I make enough money to save half 279 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 1: my income but still have around one hundred k left 280 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: for expenses. I pay seventy percent of the bills. But 281 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: I've given up trying to get my husband to think 282 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: more seriously about retirement. I love him and we agree 283 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: upon everything except finances. It's never really been a problem 284 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: until now. In interesting he was the one that had 285 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 1: one hundred K himself. And I guess so she do 286 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 1: we know if it was during or before it was 287 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: their marriage, before the marriage when they started dating. Yeah, 288 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 1: so when they started dating, she basically helped him create 289 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: this plan, gave him twenty caps. 290 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 2: That changes even like I feel like that even puts 291 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 2: it more in her favor. Yeah, Op, I think is 292 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 2: contributing a lot to this relation. Sounds like a lot financially. Yeah, 293 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 2: But I do feel if she's making so much money, 294 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 2: like what if they just did the same thing for 295 00:14:56,280 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 2: a cleaning service where she paid seventy percent and he 296 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 2: paid thirty percent and then they had their cleaning taken 297 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 2: care of. I wonder if he's insecure, because that's like 298 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 2: he's trying to do work over time to try to. 299 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 3: Literally what I was going to say. The funny thing is, 300 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 3: right before I went into this room to record with 301 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 3: you guys, I was watching a video of this new 302 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 3: movie not promoting it, but it's called fair play, and 303 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 3: it's literally a story about how this man in the 304 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:30,720 Speaker 3: relationship felt so insecure. Yeah, because of their partner being 305 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 3: more successful getting the job, the higher paying job. I 306 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 3: have an inkling it's got something to do with the security. 307 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 2: I think so too. I think so too. I'm curious 308 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 2: what the update is. Final comment before the update. What 309 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 2: does he spend it on? 310 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: He spins a lot on expensive Legos, action figures and 311 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 1: limited edition comics. I knew what I was getting myself into. 312 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 1: We met at a convention. That's kind of adorable. 313 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 2: It's so funny. But also I have a lot of 314 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 2: Legos and I fucking go h and Legos are expensive. 315 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 2: Ship bro, bro, I get you leg I have like 316 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 2: a really big Harry Potter set in or in my uh. 317 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 2: I remember like one day at midnight at Target, we 318 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 2: like ran in at the last second. You bought like 319 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 2: one hundred and sixty dollars Harry Potter, Like, oh my god, 320 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 2: I remember, yeah it. 321 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: I pay seventy percent of expenses. That includes date nights, 322 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: our house, our cars. I have hobbies as well, like crochet, 323 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 1: but I buy cheap yarn. I don't sell anything, so 324 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter to me. I love geology, but I 325 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: find new rocks instead of buying expensive specimens. 326 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 2: Interesting, she finds those rocks. Yeah, kind of blowing it on, 327 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 2: freaking he man action figures here and meanwhile she's like, 328 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 2: I'll just get rocks from nature and used yarn yard, 329 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 2: go to Michael's queen. Yeah, does not know how to 330 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 2: properly spend it, seems like. But again, I feel like, 331 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 2: if the only issue is which is I think it's 332 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,879 Speaker 2: the income issue is the issue. But the only issue 333 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 2: is this cleaning thing. Just get a cleaner. I think 334 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 2: there's more. There's more to like a transformer. There's more 335 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:20,399 Speaker 2: than meets the more transformers, more than meets the guy, Transformers, 336 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:24,679 Speaker 2: robots in. This guy's onto the updates. Let's get it. 337 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 1: So he came home very late that night after ignoring 338 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 1: his phone. We didn't end up talking about it, and 339 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 1: I slept in the guest room again. He works from 340 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 1: home Tuesday and Thursday, so the next days he was 341 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 1: home when I got off from work. I spent the 342 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: day gathering my thoughts and preparing to have a calm discussion. 343 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: I tried to remain calm, but he was defensive and 344 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: accusatory that I was getting, so I was getting very frustrated. 345 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 1: We weren't very productive, and we ended our talk with 346 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 1: him denying that I pay seventy percent of the expenses, 347 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,639 Speaker 1: even though we planned this out and budget together based 348 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 1: on it. Wadude, where's this coming from? 349 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 2: Mile? And what did people on TikTok say? Denial is 350 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:08,199 Speaker 2: a well, I guess that's that's completely different. But Denial 351 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 2: is a river in Egypt. But that's that's a completely 352 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 2: different use case. 353 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,360 Speaker 1: I told him I'd go through our expenses to prove it, 354 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,719 Speaker 1: and being the person that I am, I did so 355 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 1: the next day. Nice, this is where the problem starts. 356 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: When I was going through our expenses, I found a 357 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:26,680 Speaker 1: charge on my husband's credit card from two weeks ago 358 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: that I did not recognize what I feel, Here. 359 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,679 Speaker 3: We go, all right, here we go. I'm getting ready. 360 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 1: It was not an insignificant amount, so I originally looked 361 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 1: into it just to see if it was a household 362 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: or personal expense to use it in my calculations. 363 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 2: It turned out to be a bill paid to a 364 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,400 Speaker 2: law office. 365 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:46,239 Speaker 3: Uh uh. 366 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 1: For very obvious reasons, I wanted to know more information 367 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 1: on why he was getting billed by a law office. 368 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 2: I looked up the office. 369 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: And it was a divorce attorney specializing in property. 370 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 2: Oh no, he's trying to take her shit. 371 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 3: Man's is consulting all fuck. 372 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 2: I logged into his email. 373 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,639 Speaker 1: I have proof that he has given me permission to 374 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,200 Speaker 1: access his email at any time to go over expenses 375 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 1: and expense related issues, and I found his conversations with 376 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: said lawyer. He was trying to find a way to 377 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,919 Speaker 1: overturn our prenup so he would get half instead of 378 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 1: what is agreenapod in our prenup, and wanted to try 379 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 1: and get alimony as well. 380 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 3: Wow, what the hell? 381 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 2: I had no idea. 382 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:36,199 Speaker 1: He wasn't happy until we started arguing on Saturday. That morning, 383 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: he woke me up with breakfast in bed, a total 384 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 1: surprise since it wasn't a special day, but he almost 385 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: never cooks. 386 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 2: Two weeks ago, we had. 387 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: A Star Wars movie marathon and ran around the house 388 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,159 Speaker 1: in a lightsaber battle. 389 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 2: I do love their dorky cute, right, Yeah, what's wrong? 390 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 1: Last month he communicated that he felt like we weren't 391 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 1: spending as much time together as we normally do, so 392 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 1: I planned more date nights. He's gotten me flowers at 393 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: least once a week for months now. I just don't 394 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 1: understand why he wanted to be divorced without even trying 395 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,399 Speaker 1: to express what he was feeling to me first. This 396 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: took such a turn right out, and we still got 397 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 1: a decent bit more too. 398 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. 399 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,400 Speaker 1: When I went all the way back to our very 400 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: first emails late July, a woman we'll call Ashley was 401 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 1: brought up. I tried to think of a way to 402 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: confirm my suspicions without him suspecting that I know what 403 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 1: he's been up to. On Saturdays, we sometimes get takeout, 404 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: so I purposely left my phone upstairs and asked him 405 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 1: if I could use his to order the food. And 406 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 1: I was taking too long to figure out what I wanted, 407 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 1: quote unquote, so he went downstairs to finish what he 408 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,119 Speaker 1: was doing, giving me more time. It was hard to 409 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 1: wait that long without letting on what I knew. But 410 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 1: from Thursday to Saturday, I began a plan in place. 411 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: I spoke with a divorce attorney and scheduled my consultation. 412 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:58,159 Speaker 2: Oh dude, they're playing like divorce chess right now. This 413 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:03,479 Speaker 2: is secret divorce chess. This is crazy, My gosh, I 414 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 2: also feel like, is the right thing for her to 415 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,359 Speaker 2: do a secret divorce thing or should she just like 416 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 2: bring it up to him? Mmmmm? Is there like like like, 417 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 2: I mean, she's read the like the the email, so 418 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 2: she probably has a lot of context and all that. 419 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 2: But yeah, wouldn't be a better thing just be like, hey, 420 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 2: I know about the divorce thing, Like what the fuck? 421 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 2: Yeah that's maybe legally there's something since he's like preparing 422 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 2: stuff and she doesn't want to like tip him off. 423 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, because she is trying I mean he is. 424 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,400 Speaker 2: It seems like he's trying to steal her properties that 425 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 2: were very like very obviously excluded in the prenup. So 426 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,639 Speaker 2: maybe she's trying to save the properties. But I don't know. 427 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 2: I feel like if this was me, I mean, I'm 428 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 2: I'm just a freaking open book, I would be like, 429 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,399 Speaker 2: what the fuck is going on? Like I saw what 430 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 2: you did? 431 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, she seems like someone that would, like I want 432 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 3: to have a plan before having that discussion. Yeah, so 433 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 3: maybe maybe this is all just part of her plan. 434 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:11,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's a there's a master plan. And 435 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 2: I made sure I had any legal and financial documents 436 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 2: I needed. On Saturday when I went through his phone. 437 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 2: I found Instagram messages between him and Ashley. By going 438 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 2: through the messages and looking at her account, I figured 439 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,719 Speaker 2: out a lot about her. Oh no, Ashley seemed to 440 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,160 Speaker 2: be a nice girl that he met on Tinder back 441 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:36,159 Speaker 2: in May. Oh No, she is twenty seven and married 442 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 2: to her high school sweetheart who can't bring in enough 443 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 2: income for her to be a stay at home wife. 444 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 2: Considering my husband works in tech, and by looking at 445 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 2: the messages lied about how much he makes, he is 446 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 2: obviously the better option. He's lied to her about wanting 447 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 2: to have kids and has told her that it's the 448 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,000 Speaker 2: reason he's unhappy in our marriage. 449 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,879 Speaker 3: No a. 450 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 2: Bag, WHOA. 451 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,199 Speaker 1: I don't know what he's thinking she's going to do 452 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 1: when she finds out that he has a fussectomy. 453 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 3: WHOA, No, no, No, he's lying to her. 454 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 2: He's lying so hard though, and blowing up everything for it. 455 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:25,720 Speaker 3: Oh so that's so wow, it's so bad. 456 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,639 Speaker 1: Ashley is apparently willing to be a proper woman and 457 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 1: do wifely duties. That's her words, not my husband's. From 458 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,199 Speaker 1: cross checking dates, when he's supposed to be hanging out 459 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,120 Speaker 1: with friends or at a work thing, he's actually with her. 460 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: She has a weird work schedule, so she sometimes comes 461 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 1: over to our house. 462 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 3: Oh and she didn't know the whole time. 463 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,440 Speaker 2: That's so bad. 464 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,639 Speaker 1: On the days that he's working from home himself and 465 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 1: I'm in the office. 466 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 2: Oh oh, and they're her regular office. Yea, I read 467 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 2: home office for a second. Pulled move, sir. 468 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 1: She is convinced that after they both go through their 469 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: respective divorces, that they'll live in the house together, get married, 470 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:09,880 Speaker 1: and have kids. 471 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 2: Like the house that he's in right now, which he 472 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 2: probably owns she probably owns. Yikes, dude, you're about to 473 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 2: get fucked. 474 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,440 Speaker 1: He has just gone along with everything, she says. He's 475 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: told her that I'm lazy and hardly make any money, 476 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: and that I wanted to quit my job and not 477 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,119 Speaker 1: do any work, which is why he's finally gotten the 478 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 1: courage to leave me. He said that he's taking extra 479 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: care in the divorce because he doesn't want to leave 480 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,399 Speaker 1: me with nothing. 481 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 2: Bruh, what a fucking loser, scumbag. Fuck, just just terrible. 482 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 3: He's concocted a beautiful line, but it's so screwed up. 483 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, my man should come crashing down here as soon 484 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 2: as they get together. He should write movies, not. 485 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 1: Tales ex illusion Lulu. He also told her that I 486 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 1: changed my mind about having kids and that I'm denying 487 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,880 Speaker 1: him his masculine desires to continue his due. 488 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 2: The misogyny is like you can like taste it. This 489 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:23,400 Speaker 2: guy thinks about Romans a lot. Dude thinking about I don't. 490 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 3: Know, Roman Empire. Is the Roman Empire? 491 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:34,879 Speaker 2: The Roman Empire, you actually think all the time often 492 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 2: because it's like it's literally as civil as well, because 493 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,879 Speaker 2: one I was reading a lot of Stoic philosophy, and 494 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 2: two also it's like it is the blueprint for how 495 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 2: our society runs today. And there's like dudes that were 496 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 2: like thinking about like stocks and ship and like owning 497 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 2: businesses two thousand years ago. It's like crazy to like 498 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,920 Speaker 2: think about those people living in a society very similar 499 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 2: to us and thinking about the same big ideas and 500 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,880 Speaker 2: small ideas. Like there's this one quote from Marcus Aurelius, 501 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 2: who was like one of the great emperor and like 502 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,359 Speaker 2: he was like he has this quote about like how 503 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,399 Speaker 2: he's just like having trouble getting out of bed in 504 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 2: the morning because like the blankets are warm, and I'm like, dude, 505 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,439 Speaker 2: I have trouble getting out of the bed in the morning. Like, 506 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:20,120 Speaker 2: that's guys, like two thousand years ago. Same. I feel 507 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 2: like I touched the nerves. 508 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, my goodness, the Roman Empire is really that important. 509 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,479 Speaker 2: The Roman. But I'm just saying the moment empire is 510 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 2: not like it's not it's not equal to misogyny. 511 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:39,880 Speaker 3: Okay, well we'll disconnect. 512 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,320 Speaker 2: Oh boy, I love it. Now. You might be thinking, 513 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 2: at this point in the story, are you stupid? How 514 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 2: did you not know? 515 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,639 Speaker 1: The answer is I had no idea, and I must 516 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,679 Speaker 1: be dumb as he. 517 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 2: Played me for a fool. I'm trying to put some 518 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 2: humor in this for my own sake, but I'm sobbing 519 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 2: as I write. Yeah, fact, dude, because it does seem 520 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 2: like they have like a like acute nerdy relationship to 521 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:08,119 Speaker 2: like based on what she's saying, like the flowers every week. Yeah, 522 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 2: he's just good at crafting the line. It's adorable. 523 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: I just got back from my new attorney's office with 524 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: a lot of forms to fill out, and I'm so 525 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: overwhelmed and still feel confused for some reason, like this 526 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: just must be a really bad dream. I reached out 527 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:28,920 Speaker 1: to Ashley's husband so they're probably heading towards divorce as well. 528 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 2: There we go. Has Opie's husband found out yet? No? 529 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: Maybe not yet, Maybe not yet. He seems like a 530 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 1: nice enough guy talking about Ashley's husband also totally blinds. 531 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,719 Speaker 2: Going on a date. I've we've seen it happen before. 532 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: Also totally blindsided by the affair. I told my husband 533 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,399 Speaker 1: I was divorcing him last night and told him he 534 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 1: could either sleep in one of the guest rooms or 535 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 1: get a hotel. 536 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 2: There we go. 537 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:56,960 Speaker 3: I want to know his reaction. 538 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 2: He chose the latter. Nice So that that's my update. 539 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 1: Our prenup has a ninety nine percent chance of holding 540 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 1: up in court. But we also have an infidelity clause 541 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 1: that I'm hoping can prove so I can keep one 542 00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:11,640 Speaker 1: hundred percent of the house. Wow, is there a chance 543 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 1: he could get one percent of the house or something? 544 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 2: Well, I think if he doesn't like, I think they 545 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,840 Speaker 2: probably like own it together. Not the rental properties, but 546 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,080 Speaker 2: that house. Right. 547 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,359 Speaker 3: Remember, always sign a prenup. 548 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 2: Always sign a prene up if you ain't no jump. 549 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 1: I was definitely willing to put my dream house in 550 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: the infidelity clause because I knew I would never cheat. 551 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: He was fine with it at the time as well, 552 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,560 Speaker 1: but is now blowing up my phone about it. 553 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 2: Let me have your house, let me cheat on you, 554 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 2: please shut up? Stupid. 555 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 1: If I can't prove his affair, which is unlikely considering 556 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 1: the evidence that I have, like. 557 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 2: The testimony from you know, all those people. 558 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 1: I would have to pay him about twenty five percent 559 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 1: of our equity in the house, which is enough for 560 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: a down payment on another house. So he wants me 561 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,400 Speaker 1: to not bring his affair into our divorce, which is 562 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,920 Speaker 1: weird to me since he had no qualms with bringing 563 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,120 Speaker 1: the affair into our marriage. 564 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 3: She's good, she's funny. 565 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 2: Hell yeah, and. 566 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 1: I guess a final mini update to what I replied 567 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 1: to about earlier. Turns out Ashley is staying at the 568 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: same hotel as my husband. 569 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:24,320 Speaker 2: Go figure, My god, lo well, at least he has 570 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 2: a relationship to fall back on. 571 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 3: He's gonna lose everything. 572 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:32,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, what she finds out he has and he's lying, dude, 573 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 2: I mean, how does she not he's lying about so much. 574 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 2: I feel bad for that girl. Yeah, I mean, not 575 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 2: that bad because she's cheating on her husband, but a 576 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,640 Speaker 2: little bit. Yeah. Geez, what a doozy of an like 577 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 2: like discovery what a guy? Yeah, right, Like it's just 578 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 2: like like I felt like this story, it's like you 579 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 2: kept peeling layers back and it was just like, oh wow, 580 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 2: this guy really sucks. Oh wow, he sucks even more, 581 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Like it just like each layer you 582 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,720 Speaker 2: peeled back, this guy was more of a douchebag. 583 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 3: You've got like the gas lighting, the manipulation, the lying, 584 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 3: the hiding, the infidel Like you got a concoction of 585 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 3: the nastiest thing. 586 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 2: It's like the opposite of how the Powerpuff Girls were made. Yeah, 587 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 2: like spice and nice and everything nice. This guy is 588 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 2: just like a turd and an onion. It's the infinity 589 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 2: stones of toxicity. Maybe, yeah, that's literally altogether of toxicity. Yeah. Well, 590 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 2: op I'm glad that you are getting rid of him. 591 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 2: That's right as you should, I guess silver lining maybe 592 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 2: the one uh one quick question to all of you 593 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 2: watching and to the two of you quickly, what would 594 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:47,880 Speaker 2: you do if you were Opie and you found divorce 595 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 2: divorce people love divorce chanting? Yeah on this channel. Yeah. Now, 596 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,360 Speaker 2: I think she's doing exactly the only thing that I 597 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 2: may have done differently, And I understand why she did 598 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 2: it now because she was trying to get uh understand 599 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 2: if he was cheating, so she could use that infidelity clause. 600 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 2: But the only thing I may have done differently is 601 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 2: I may have once I found out about the divorce thing, 602 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 2: I may have just brought it up to him fully. Why, 603 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 2: because I feel like for me, it would be hard 604 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 2: for me to just like keep that secret. One I 605 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 2: just want to say, and then two, I think like 606 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:34,239 Speaker 2: it feels a little bit more honest, like it's it 607 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,840 Speaker 2: feels like a little double crossy the way she did it, 608 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 2: even though I totally understand why, and I don't think 609 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,479 Speaker 2: she necessarily did anything wrong. But to me, if I 610 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 2: was going through it, I feel like it I might 611 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 2: have just like given like the benefit of the doubt, 612 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 2: whatever doubt there may be, and just give that person 613 00:31:55,680 --> 00:32:00,480 Speaker 2: a chance to be even a little bit better of 614 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 2: a human by like fessing up to it. So that's 615 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 2: the only thing I would probably have done different It 616 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 2: was unclear too, if like we were like, oh, maybe 617 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 2: it's like something legal. Yeah, it may have been, but 618 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 2: I don't think we got like kind of confirmation. Yeah, 619 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 2: either way, I don't know. What would you do, John, 620 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 2: do you think you would if you found out, would 621 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 2: you have immediately said something or would you have which 622 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 2: I think for me, I would kind of be like 623 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 2: taken aback and it might take me some time to 624 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 2: like process before I bring it up to the person. 625 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,920 Speaker 2: But like for me, probably like like a day of 626 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 2: like maybe maybe I even like go off on my 627 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 2: own and get my own hotel room for the night 628 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,800 Speaker 2: and just like think it over and then come back 629 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 2: to Upper but probably not more than a day or so. Yeah, yeah, 630 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 2: but I would need that time to just like settle 631 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 2: a little bit shocking news. But I do understand wanting 632 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:57,800 Speaker 2: to have a plan too, Like that makes sense to me. 633 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 2: It's just I think it would just be hard for 634 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 2: me to keep it from a partner. 635 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, like it's insane because I totally get 636 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 3: why she would keep it under wraps, like in terms 637 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 3: of her own planning her for the divorce, but also 638 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,560 Speaker 3: the other way applies to him, like how could he 639 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 3: have hid that for so like why, oh. 640 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's an absolute scumback pyperpath. I'd like that, like 641 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,560 Speaker 2: he's terrible. Yeah. Yeah, I'm more like thinking like what 642 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 2: is the most empathetic or like best way to approach 643 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 2: it from her end, and I feel like keeping it 644 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 2: the way he might not deserve, even though he might 645 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,080 Speaker 2: not deserve it, like what is the best way, yeah, 646 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,600 Speaker 2: for her to approach it. And I think just that 647 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,880 Speaker 2: like minor tweak, it might be a little bit more empathetic, 648 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,680 Speaker 2: a little bit more understanding, Yeah, a little bit more 649 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 2: like authentic and honest. Yeah. 650 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's interesting because I there, you know, hypothetically, 651 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 3: if she never kept it under wraps, do you think 652 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 3: she would have found about Ashley? 653 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 2: I don't that That's what that's that's what's tricky. I 654 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,759 Speaker 2: think he probably would have said something, but no, he wouldn't. No, No, 655 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 2: he wouldn't have because because like like I think, because 656 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 2: of the infidelity clause, he probably wouldn't have. No, he 657 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 2: probably wouldn't have found out. 658 00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,440 Speaker 3: So it's like it had to happen for her to 659 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 3: find out, for her to use the infidelity clause, which 660 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,359 Speaker 3: it's like what do you call it, like a it's 661 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,360 Speaker 3: like a chain reaction like it had yeah. 662 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah cause and effects. Baby, Yeah, I understand 663 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,800 Speaker 2: why she did it for sure, but yeah, fuck, I 664 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:41,840 Speaker 2: don't know if I could do it. 665 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't my emotions will get better in that moment. 666 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, but damn, what would you do in this situation? 667 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 2: Put your answers in the comments? This is fucking crazy. 668 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 2: And also, I hoped you love this juicy double deep 669 00:34:56,800 --> 00:35:01,000 Speaker 2: dick dive into this, into these both stories. Shout out 670 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 2: to our amazing guests. 671 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,000 Speaker 3: Yes, carries, thanks guys, so funny. 672 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,479 Speaker 2: Here yea, thank you for coming on and uh, we'll 673 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 2: see you in episode very soon. I found my fiance's 674 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,440 Speaker 2: sexy d ms with a rando on Instagram, but I 675 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,320 Speaker 2: never would have expected who it actually was. The CEO 676 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:26,359 Speaker 2: of Instagram. CEO of Instagram Insta. I can see all 677 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,200 Speaker 2: the messages and I choose you. Wow, dude, that's some power. 678 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,239 Speaker 2: Of all the dms, I can slide into all them. 679 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:36,760 Speaker 2: I can as the founder of Instagram, I'm a slide 680 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,520 Speaker 2: to any d M I choose, bro that would be 681 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,319 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, he's a billionaire, you know he could 682 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 2: he could get some Who is the founder of Instagram? 683 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 2: Edward Instagram? I forgot? You're right here, all right, the 684 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 2: wound is still fresh. Still bear with me. Yikes? All right, 685 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:59,080 Speaker 2: well this has chapters too. It's like Harry Potter. Oh 686 00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,840 Speaker 2: my goodness the discovery I had a rough day and 687 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 2: my fiance's algorithms are top notch. That that's an interesting 688 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 2: like sentence, like someone else's algorithms are top not that is, 689 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,440 Speaker 2: but it is kind of try. I like, I like 690 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,520 Speaker 2: watching my girlfriend's TikTok, so you know what I mean. Yeah, 691 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 2: Well it's it's just like you're kind of peering into 692 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 2: their mind a little bit very much. So what are 693 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,799 Speaker 2: what are what are their interests? Like, what do they 694 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,959 Speaker 2: actually like to do? That's actually super cute when you're 695 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:34,640 Speaker 2: when you're in love with your girlfriend's algorithms, we love 696 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:40,280 Speaker 2: the same. The artificial intelligence has selected us yo low dude, 697 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:46,759 Speaker 2: low key, low key dating app plugged into TikTok, where 698 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:50,719 Speaker 2: your algorithms are like as matched as possible, or. 699 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: Or even just like uh an ai that analyzes all 700 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 1: of the past like successful relationships and then uses that 701 00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,360 Speaker 1: information to like, instead of you swiping on t it 702 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,480 Speaker 1: chooses for you. And it's like it don't make me swipe, 703 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 1: just give it to me, give it, just dump it 704 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,319 Speaker 1: on me, take a fat dump on my chest with 705 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:10,279 Speaker 1: this relationship. 706 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:20,760 Speaker 2: I love John. So I was scrolling through his apps 707 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 2: to entertain myself hoping for a pick me up. He 708 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 2: went to take a shower, so I opened his Instagram, 709 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,640 Speaker 2: got bored with Reddit so sorry, and noticed he had 710 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:33,759 Speaker 2: a couple new dms. Uh. Oh, we don't snoop on 711 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,840 Speaker 2: each other's phones, but we don't hide anything either, or 712 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 2: so I thought. So I clicked on them just to 713 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,640 Speaker 2: see if they were important, because he doesn't check in 714 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,640 Speaker 2: so that often. Well, I see dms that are from 715 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:52,280 Speaker 2: a deleted account, thus sparking my interest. So I click 716 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,560 Speaker 2: and I scroll. Messages go years back, maybe twenty to 717 00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 2: thirty messages total. Some winky faces, some slightly sexual memes, 718 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 2: a few photos of lingerie, nothing outright incriminating. But who 719 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 2: is this bitch? Definitely fishy? Yeah, my heart dropped. We're 720 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,400 Speaker 2: getting married in less than five months. These messages aren't okay. 721 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,279 Speaker 2: He's not a cheater. Never once have I questioned that, 722 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,279 Speaker 2: nor has he given me any reason to. But I 723 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 2: start to see red. Oh no. Chapter two, The confrontation. 724 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,720 Speaker 2: I put my big girl pants on, I wipe away 725 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 2: the tears and storm it to the bathroom. I rip 726 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:36,720 Speaker 2: open the shower curtain, revealing this idiots albeit glorious naked body. 727 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:42,200 Speaker 2: He though quite startled, raises his eyebrows and smirks, looking 728 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 2: to join which suave man. That's a great move. Yeah, 729 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 2: I say, wrong move, buddy. I go off, you know, 730 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,440 Speaker 2: like a badass. He denies it, you know, like a liar. 731 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 2: I hold his towel hostage and toss in his phone 732 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,200 Speaker 2: so he can see for himself. He scrolls and pulls 733 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:07,399 Speaker 2: off this wildly confused demeanor. I literally see blood Leifa's face. 734 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,680 Speaker 2: He just kind of says, stuttering, baby, I don't know 735 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,360 Speaker 2: what do you think, John? Do you believe it? I 736 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,319 Speaker 2: don't think so. I don't think I'm believing this. We 737 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,239 Speaker 2: go back and forth. He swears up and down, he 738 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,560 Speaker 2: has no idea who this could be. I'm just as 739 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,080 Speaker 2: surprised as you are, he claims, criminally. So I take 740 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,279 Speaker 2: his phone so I can quote this other woman for 741 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:32,680 Speaker 2: emphasis the reveal Chapter three. I ready my best valley 742 00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:36,720 Speaker 2: girl voice to the most recent received messages. I noticed 743 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,680 Speaker 2: for the first time, inconveniently so, a picture she sent 744 00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,520 Speaker 2: of a guinea pig. I think, oh, hell, I love 745 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 2: guinea pigs, and then I remember I've seen this guinea 746 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:54,160 Speaker 2: pig before. Then I realize she is me. I was 747 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 2: the killer of the whole time. So apparently this girl, 748 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,360 Speaker 2: she says, I deleted all my social media almost a 749 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,280 Speaker 2: year ago. Neither of us remembered any of the messages 750 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 2: we sent, and I start laughing and happy crying. My 751 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,640 Speaker 2: fiance looks as if he just won the lottery and 752 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 2: received the death penalty simultaneously. Oh man, Now the aftermath. 753 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,600 Speaker 2: Now we said, both recently showered debating whether or not 754 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,839 Speaker 2: we should welcome a guinea pig into our family. I 755 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,120 Speaker 2: am so embarrassed. He is so relieved. We are crazy, 756 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,360 Speaker 2: stupid and so in love. Wow. I think she's a 757 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,360 Speaker 2: little bit in the wrong here, because like she just 758 00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:39,279 Speaker 2: she she snooped on the DMS basically yeah, yeah, I 759 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,239 Speaker 2: mean did she did she see like something incriminating in 760 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,840 Speaker 2: like the preview or something like what? No, she just 761 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:48,319 Speaker 2: wanted to check, like what was up? Yeah, that's just 762 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,560 Speaker 2: wanted to check. Is in a very if you see 763 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,160 Speaker 2: like like if the preview says like you know, like sweat, tongue, toungue, 764 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 2: fire water, like okay, click, go ahead. Yeah yeah, well 765 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,160 Speaker 2: I think I think he Yeah, I guess you just 766 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:05,919 Speaker 2: saw the request from some deleted numbers, Like, right, what's 767 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 2: that like let me check it out. But yeah, although 768 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 2: it does seem like they like are on in each 769 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,759 Speaker 2: other's phones, that's fine, Like I have I have a 770 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:20,800 Speaker 2: similar situation, but like opening and reading the messages randomly 771 00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,200 Speaker 2: is like, yeah, kind of a little bit kind of 772 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,719 Speaker 2: a breach of It's more of like like oh, you 773 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,520 Speaker 2: need to look up something on a map or like 774 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,640 Speaker 2: google something or like do whatever. It's like, fine, go 775 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,319 Speaker 2: for it, you know what I mean. You don't go 776 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,080 Speaker 2: through something as soon as you start, like just like 777 00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,239 Speaker 2: and like even if you're opening the text or like 778 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:38,240 Speaker 2: anything like that, but like if you start like reading 779 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:42,680 Speaker 2: through unread messages completely randomly, yeah, that's a little strength. 780 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,200 Speaker 2: That's that's not a cash money move. Yeah, not not 781 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,279 Speaker 2: at all. Lill Wine would be disappointed.