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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes we'll get

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Speaker 1: into the episode.

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Speaker 2: My fiance is furious that I'm asking to celebrate our marriage.

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Speaker 2: How dare you? And there's a trigger warning here for

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Speaker 2: emotional and verbal abuse. My fiance twenty nine male, and

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Speaker 2: I twenty eight female, have been together for three years,

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Speaker 2: living together for two and a half. We had gotten

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Speaker 2: into a huge argument that blew up. He was tressing

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Speaker 2: out about the housing crisis, telling me that we need

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Speaker 2: to buy a house as soon as possible because he

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Speaker 2: predicts interest rates will keep on horizon. I told him

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Speaker 2: I agreed, However, I would like to be married before

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Speaker 2: buying a house with someone. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from a deleted user and if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Stortime Suburate.

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Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Riley Angie's boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: Then I'm Carly Keon's girlfriend.

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Speaker 3: Thought we share a little bit more about ourselves.

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Speaker 2: Just turning out Dakota and I bother everybody, and this

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Speaker 2: is the show. We give you good advice, goofully. We try.

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Speaker 2: We don't know everything, okay, despite what it feels like,

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Speaker 2: we actually don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we would do given any situation.

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Speaker 4: So you.

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Speaker 2: If you would do something else, just let us know

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Speaker 2: in the comments.

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Speaker 3: And we'll read them personally, every single one of them.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes, as Op says, he said, we can't afford a

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Speaker 2: wedding plus a house right now, and ask me to

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Speaker 2: pick one or the other, putting or a house. I

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Speaker 2: mean it depends. Like, if it's like twenty nineteen, which one.

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Speaker 3: Are you picking?

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Speaker 2: Twenty nineteen? You know it's about twenty nineteen, know.

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Speaker 3: What's about to happen in two years?

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Speaker 2: Well, if I know it's gonna happen in two years

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Speaker 2: in its twenty nineteen, then I can do all of

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Speaker 2: the gambling.

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Speaker 3: No no, and I can win all of the gamble

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Speaker 3: only gambling thing house or we can put one hundred

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Speaker 3: pe trillion dollars on Okay, house, wedding, rams win the

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Speaker 3: super Bowl? Nope, wrong house or wedding. In this scenario,

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Speaker 3: which are you getting?

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Speaker 2: PlayStation? It was pretty obvious which choice he wanted. I

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Speaker 2: made a compromise with him that I at least wanted

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Speaker 2: to be married on paper before we bought a house together,

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Speaker 2: and he ended up agreeing. He also said that after

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Speaker 2: the house, when we are more financially stable, we can

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Speaker 2: have a wedding then, which I was fine with.

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Speaker 3: Done, don't duh, get that on contract, get that on paper, and.

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Speaker 2: Get that recorded. Put that into the docket. The next day,

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Speaker 2: I had a change of heart and asked him if

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Speaker 2: he would be willing to go on a celebratory trip

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Speaker 2: together after signing our marriage papers as a way to

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Speaker 2: celebrate our marriage without a wedding. I don't know why,

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Speaker 2: but this set him off, and he started ranting about

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Speaker 2: how weddings are a waste of money, that this is

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Speaker 2: just pissing money away, and how stupid weddings are.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I think he just needed a co signer for

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Speaker 3: this house.

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Speaker 2: Why is he freaking out?

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 2: Why you just want to be like, we're married, let's

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Speaker 2: do a thing. He's like, I literally hate this. I

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Speaker 2: don't want to be married. I think it's stupid and

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Speaker 2: you're dumb for wanting it as well, and I hate it.

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Speaker 2: Might be a little bit of a red flag. I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he just wants you as a financial support

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Speaker 3: towards his dream house or his house he's gonna flip

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Speaker 3: into stumping mouse.

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Speaker 2: Who knows yep uh. I had to ask him multiple

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Speaker 2: times to please stop ranting that I got his point.

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Speaker 2: The next day we got into it again, but this

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Speaker 2: time it fully blew up. I asked him again if

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Speaker 2: he was willing to go on a less expensive trip

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Speaker 2: with me again to celebrate our marriage after signing the papers.

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Speaker 2: He would only be covering his portion and I would

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Speaker 2: pay for myself. I suggested a short road trip to

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Speaker 2: a small town near where we live. Again, this triggered him,

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Speaker 2: and he got very angry, to the point where we

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Speaker 2: started raising our voices at each other each time. I

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Speaker 2: felt like he didn't want to spend any money to

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Speaker 2: celebrate our marriage with me. I tried to compromise with

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Speaker 2: him and lowered the stakes. It ended with me saying

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Speaker 2: that I just wanted to do something beyond just signing

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Speaker 2: a few papers. I told him we could go out

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Speaker 2: for a nice dinner or even just buy me flowers.

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Speaker 2: I would be happy with that. I don't know why,

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Speaker 2: but this has made him very angry.

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Speaker 3: This is where we stop compose ourselves, go for a

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Speaker 3: little walk and really think of the future ahead of us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, I think at this point I would compose

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Speaker 2: myself on a walk to the nearest divorce attorney's office.

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Speaker 3: There's only one. You don't even need to do that

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Speaker 3: because you're not married yet. Yeah, exactly what house would

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Speaker 3: you go through with this? Like?

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Speaker 2: Where would what house? Would you go to?

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Speaker 3: Any? Any house? It could be the Hobbit house, It

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Speaker 3: could be any house.

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Speaker 2: Does the tartists from doctor who count as a house?

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Speaker 2: I would go to that one.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's the one you would go for, Carly.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to deal with this for any house.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Okay, well facts, if you have a house in mind,

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Speaker 3: put in the comments. I'm interested.

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Speaker 2: He responded that I was asking for crumbs and that

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Speaker 2: I couldn't even accept that gesture. Wait what what he said?

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Speaker 2: He was making the financially smart decision to buy a

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Speaker 2: house and secure a decent future for our children one

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Speaker 2: day and accuse me of not trusting his decisions. Hey, dumb, dumb,

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Speaker 2: you can buy a dozen roses. It's not going to

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Speaker 2: impact your ability to buy a house, and if it does,

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Speaker 2: you can't buy a house.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, don't, don't buy a house because with the house,

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Speaker 3: isn't there like this thing ah shoot that covers it

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Speaker 3: in case something happens to it. What's that called?

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Speaker 2: What insurance? Yeah? You have to yeah?

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Speaker 3: And then what's those pipes that go into it that

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Speaker 3: like give you pipes? Yeah yeah, but like it gives

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Speaker 3: you something at the other end of the water.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and those It's almost like when you buy a

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Speaker 2: house that comes with bills that you have to buy exactly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that stuff. Yeah, dude, No, I'm leaving this guy

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Speaker 2: that's crazy for our children one day.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Now he wants you to being a manufacturer.

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Speaker 3: Come on this.

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Speaker 2: I know this it might sound extreme to like leave

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Speaker 2: him for this, but like, this is one of those

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Speaker 2: moments that happens in a relationship where I feel like

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Speaker 2: you just fundamentally can't go back. Oh yeah, no, Like

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Speaker 2: you're talking about getting married and just getting a marriage

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Speaker 2: certificate and you didn't even get rose and getting flowers

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Speaker 2: going out to dinner.

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Speaker 3: Dude, you can get flowers for five bucks.

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Speaker 2: Crazy, get your girlfriend's flowers, Like short of like a

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Speaker 2: growth in your brain causing you to react this way,

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Speaker 2: there's no coming back, and we've had stories, but that's

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Speaker 2: been the thing I thought. It's like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: my partner just changed their behavior out of nowhere. They're like,

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Speaker 2: I don't even recognize them, and it's yeah, because they

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Speaker 2: had a freakin tumor in their head.

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Speaker 3: I thought a few of those today, but that wasn't

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Speaker 3: the case.

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Speaker 2: I replied that we don't have children yet and we

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Speaker 2: should focus on making our relationship work right now. He

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Speaker 2: ended the conversation by telling me to f off and

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Speaker 2: get out of my face. All right, I'll do that,

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Speaker 2: I'm leaving. I was so stunned that I didn't move

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Speaker 2: the first time he said it. I want to add

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Speaker 2: that I try very hard to never yell, insults, curse,

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Speaker 2: or negatively label him when we argue. I believe the

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Speaker 2: purpose of an argument is to try to understand each

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Speaker 2: other's point of view. The worst thing I'll do is

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Speaker 2: raise my voice. After he screamed in my face, I

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Speaker 2: left the house and went to my girlfriends. Then I

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Speaker 2: saw a text from him telling me that I might

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Speaker 2: as well pawn the engagement ring because he wouldn't tolerate

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Speaker 2: this level of disrespect for leaving the house without a

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Speaker 2: word of where I was going. He did not ask

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Speaker 2: me where I was going. Thank God, you have not

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Speaker 2: bought a house or gotten married to this guy. Now

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Speaker 2: you have the perfect way to get out.

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Speaker 3: Has anything like this happened before?

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Speaker 2: Ope?

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Speaker 3: Did this all of a sudden just now happen. There's

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Speaker 3: had to be something.

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Speaker 2: There has to have been. There's no way this came

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Speaker 2: out of nowhere. There's no way this is not the

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Speaker 2: first time something like this has happened. A few months

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Speaker 2: a few months ago, I expressed to him I was

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Speaker 2: upset he had nothing planned for my birthday, and again

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Speaker 2: he blew up in my face.

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Speaker 3: Dude, Okay, I think you were just a financial support

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Speaker 3: for his plan.

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Speaker 2: Like what, this is crazy. Your man's got a little

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Speaker 2: tiny man energy, little tiny man yelling at you because

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Speaker 2: he forgot your birthday. He's crazy.

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Speaker 4: Dakota's favorite.

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Speaker 5: It's a little one inch mane.

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Speaker 2: This man has the self worth of a little one

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Speaker 2: inch man. Okay. He called me an effing psycho and

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Speaker 2: said that he wasn't going to change. He told me

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Speaker 2: if I didn't like it, I could f off. I

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Speaker 2: ended up leaving the house again that night and sleeping

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Speaker 2: over at my friend's house. We ended up making up

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Speaker 2: and he apologized profusely and did end up planning something

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Speaker 2: for my birthday. No, he planned something that happened after

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Speaker 2: your birthday. Yeah, after he felt guilty does not count.

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Speaker 2: He told you to go f yourself and to leave

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Speaker 2: if and he's never gonna change.

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Speaker 3: And if you don't start listening to your best friend

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Speaker 3: that you're staying at house, that best friend's like, girl.

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Speaker 2: M dude, not gonna lie. Like going back to like

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Speaker 2: a guy like who's so clearly liked to someone you

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Speaker 2: should leave over and over again is a great way

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Speaker 2: to lose all of your friends. They will stop tolerating

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Speaker 2: your nonsense. So blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: We made up back and made them something for my birthday. Bat.

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Speaker 2: We just talked this morning, and he's extremely hurt that

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Speaker 2: I moved my stuff out and slept in my parents'

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Speaker 2: house last night. We're not officially broken up yet, but

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Speaker 2: I have a feeling that's where this is headed because

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Speaker 2: of me. Oh my god, get out so bad, you're brainwashed,

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Speaker 2: Get out. Run This is him, This is because of

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Speaker 2: his decisions and his actions. You're like I demanded, like

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Speaker 2: the shred of positive energy, you know, when we're getting married,

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Speaker 2: And he said no and yelled at me and told

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Speaker 2: me to go f myself and f off. He said

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Speaker 2: he's not willing to do therapy because he thinks it's

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Speaker 2: a waste of time. Did I do the right thing?

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Speaker 2: Was this relationship? Salvagable?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: I would appreciate hearing any stories similar to mine. And

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Speaker 2: there are some comments.

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Speaker 3: Ope, you have come to read it and you have

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Speaker 3: given your situation. You get all the passes on this

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Speaker 3: one because you didn't know if the next update is

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Speaker 3: not I am breaking up with him. You have failed us.

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Speaker 2: All, truly, none more than yourself.

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Speaker 3: And these comments are about to put you in your place.

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Speaker 2: Please be nice to her, though, Please I hope been

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Speaker 2: nice to you in the comments. Please. Okay, we've got

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Speaker 2: comment number one. Your relationship is not ending because of you.

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Speaker 2: It is ending because your fiance had an absolutely irrational, hurtful,

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Speaker 2: and unacceptable reaction to you asking for something totally reasonable,

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Speaker 2: and he refuses to work on himself. Loving someone doesn't

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Speaker 2: mean you let them treat you however they want. Also,

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Speaker 2: this kind of behavior tends to escalate after marriage and

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Speaker 2: or pregnancy. If he had come back after self reflecting,

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Speaker 2: had sincerely apologized and gotten into therapy before you move

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Speaker 2: back in, then maybe there would be something salvageable here.

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Speaker 2: If he's not willing to compromise, work on himself, or

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Speaker 2: treat you with basic respect, then there is nothing to save.

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Speaker 2: Marriage is an agreement to learn and grow together, and

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Speaker 2: he's not interested in that. Think about what you would

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Speaker 2: say to someone you loved if their partner was treating

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Speaker 2: them this way. This is not your fault, it's one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent is A second comment says, why would you

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Speaker 2: want it to be salvageable? This guy has huge anger problems.

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Speaker 2: Your life would be a nightmare with him. A reply says,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't able to buy

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Speaker 2: a house.

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Speaker 3: On his own.

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Speaker 2: Yup, the co signer theory coming around, so he's trying

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Speaker 2: to get ope to subsidize the purchase before she realizes

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Speaker 2: how toxic he is. That's why he's so insistent that

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Speaker 2: they do it now and refusing to spend money on

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Speaker 2: anything else. Comment three says, I have been married for

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Speaker 2: forty five years and the number of times my husband

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Speaker 2: has screamed at me is zero. You deserve a man

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Speaker 2: who respects you and is kind to you. It is

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Speaker 2: difficult to think of leaving a relationship because you think

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Speaker 2: to yourself, it's not that bad, but it really really is.

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Speaker 2: Once you're out of the relationship and over the initial emotions,

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Speaker 2: you will realize that life is better without an emotionally

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Speaker 2: harmful partner. I wish you all the best, dude.

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Speaker 3: I wish I could say that. What I haven't yelled

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Speaker 3: at my friend.

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Speaker 2: No, not Angie, not Angie. No, yelled that she's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Get out of my butt, Stop talking my butt. I've

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Speaker 2: had a moment of silence for Riley's butt.

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Speaker 3: How else was supposed to stop her?

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Speaker 2: All right, there's an update, hyas sah, we broke up.

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Speaker 2: I initially considered dating him again. Dude, Oh me, why

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Speaker 2: are you here?

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Speaker 3: Didn't you just did you read zero comments?

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Speaker 2: I initially considered dating him again while still continuing to

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Speaker 2: live apart. At first, he was very apologetic, calling me

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Speaker 2: a few times every day telling me how sorry he was.

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Speaker 2: The Next day, he sent a string of texts where

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Speaker 2: he promised to change many specific things about himself to

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Speaker 2: repair our relationship. This all changed once I told him

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Speaker 2: I wasn't going to immediately move back in. Each time

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Speaker 2: he phoned me, I typed out what he said in

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Speaker 2: my notes app. He told me that day he didn't

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Speaker 2: say f off or get out of my face. He said,

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Speaker 2: get away from me. Oh whatever, So he's lying, whatever,

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Speaker 2: Just it's okay, leave him. He asked why I always

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Speaker 2: misremember things and remember him in the worst way possible,

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Speaker 2: because he is the worst, and I'm so glad that

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Speaker 2: you are breaking up with him. He claimed that nothing

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Speaker 2: he did was ever enough for me and that I

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Speaker 2: didn't love him anymore, and said that when he calls

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Speaker 2: me names, he's not calling me that, but saying that

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Speaker 2: I am behaving a certain way. He said the points

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Speaker 2: I was making were stupid and that I was being crazy, illogical,

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Speaker 2: showing my true colors, acting like a victim, delusional, selfish,

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Speaker 2: taking advantage of him, manipulating him in lying.

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Speaker 3: You can tell that this guy clearly does not respect

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Speaker 3: her as a woman or as a partner whatsoever, because

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Speaker 3: like he's freaking out that you're not moving in. Huh.

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Speaker 3: I wonder why, because you're probably the bread winner as well,

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Speaker 3: and he probably won't be able to afford living by itself.

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Speaker 2: He comes back for like two days, being like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'll changelah blah blah blah, and then immediately,

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Speaker 2: as soon as he doesn't get exactly what he wants,

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Speaker 2: flips the script a dozo one to eighty. And it's like, like,

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Speaker 2: I just don't know. She's so pathetic, such a pathetic

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Speaker 2: little baby. So oh, he continues, he didn't believe me

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Speaker 2: when I said I wasn't doing any of those things.

305
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Speaker 2: But we do have a little bit more story left.

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Speaker 2: I think we're all just glad.

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Speaker 3: And I saw someone say they've been in the situation

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Speaker 3: and they'll never go back. Yeah, And like you probably

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Speaker 3: don't know what it looks like until you've been through it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard to see it from the inside. It's

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Speaker 2: like if you know you're a fish, what does water

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Speaker 2: look like? It's like you can't tell it's there. It's there.

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Speaker 2: We've seen the same clip, haven't we. Yeah, so it's

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Speaker 2: it's just one of those things. It's hard to see. Uh,

315
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Speaker 2: but once you do, you gotta get out. Anyway, let's

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Speaker 2: finish this story. When I asked him to stop speaking

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Speaker 2: to me in a demeaning way. He said I deserved it.

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Speaker 2: He stinks. He insisted that he was just calling it

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Speaker 2: like he saw it. He questioned why I was painting

320
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Speaker 2: him as a piece of crap, because he is. I

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Speaker 2: told him I was just explaining why I was upset,

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Speaker 2: and asked what he wanted me to do. He said

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Speaker 2: I should speak nicer to him. Heybody wanted to take

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Speaker 2: your own advice? Uh, this guy's crazy.

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Speaker 3: He literally listed off so many things to you, and

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Speaker 3: you're just supposed to sit there and take it like so.

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Speaker 2: Sam, Yeah, right, what's up?

328
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Speaker 3: I got a little game. Yeah, I bought three special

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Speaker 3: gifts for me to.

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Speaker 2: Secret. He's one has a memory tied to it. It's

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Speaker 2: a good one, I would hope. Well, I want to

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Speaker 2: you guys because you guys like this has been working

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Speaker 2: so hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Sammy, Okay, I got a small but mighty package

335
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,280
Speaker 1: here that I'm going to open.

336
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 2: What I approve of this? Okay? It's a cassette player?

337
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,240
Speaker 1: Whoa Okay, So I mean this is old technology here,

338
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,960
Speaker 1: which I think means goes to our oldest member on

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Speaker 1: the podcast on status Dakota.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, is that right?

341
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 4: Right?

342
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,000
Speaker 2: Right? You got a right I am the uncler. No,

343
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,840
Speaker 2: you just mentioned like you have a bunch of accepts

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Speaker 2: with your mom.

345
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:28,440
Speaker 6: Yeah.

346
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,120
Speaker 2: No, I have all these cassettes that I can't play

347
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 2: from my child. A lot of them are just Ricky

348
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,600
Speaker 2: Martin cassette taps, and now I will be able to

349
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,800
Speaker 2: listen to them. Which is where you gonna listen to

350
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,560
Speaker 2: the Cassette's probably in my room while I dance. And

351
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,920
Speaker 2: there's also a radio in here. Every time I go

352
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 2: like hiking, always forget to download my music onto my phone.

353
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Speaker 3: Come on, So what's the next.

354
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 1: Thing we got anything?

355
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Speaker 2: Yeah, Dakota, if you want to guess, right, there is

356
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,320
Speaker 2: a gift at my feet. Now it is in my hands.

357
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 1: Whoa, I feel like it's got to be our resident

358
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,480
Speaker 1: gamer key is.

359
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 7: The Wrecked Angle of childhood supportable game console. I used

360
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,240
Speaker 7: to have this as a kid, This game console I

361
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,000
Speaker 7: used to play all the time. And you know when

362
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,920
Speaker 7: your mom came into the room when you're a kid

363
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,200
Speaker 7: and like you're pretending to escape. Yeah, this guy was

364
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,240
Speaker 7: definitely under the This was under the under the pillow, right,

365
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 7: heart pounding.

366
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,920
Speaker 5: So but Riley, what what a thoughtful gift?

367
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:24,160
Speaker 4: Yeah?

368
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 5: Right, But we have one more gift.

369
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,680
Speaker 7: Hey, it's not about the size that what's inside about

370
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,440
Speaker 7: to find out.

371
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:42,959
Speaker 2: Camera, an old timey camera classic. This is awesome.

372
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know how I love to take pictures

373
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,879
Speaker 1: on my travels. Yeah, you're always somewhere, whether it's in

374
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,840
Speaker 1: Kyrgyzstan with some nomad, were just New York, you know,

375
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 1: with a nice little piece of trash.

376
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,400
Speaker 7: Or a rat taking pictures with the birds.

377
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 2: So Riley, you got all this from eBay, Dude.

378
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,120
Speaker 3: EBay, it was really fun finding it with you guys,

379
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,600
Speaker 3: like I had very specific things for each one of you.

380
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was all there. Thanks Riley, and thank you eBay.

381
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 3: And guys shop eBay for millions of fines each with

382
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Speaker 3: a story ebe Thanks people love.

383
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,160
Speaker 2: I asked why I should have to mince my words,

384
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,199
Speaker 2: explaining I was telling him exactly what he said and

385
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,679
Speaker 2: why I left. He said it was about how I

386
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 2: think of him, not about his actions before he screamed

387
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,119
Speaker 2: in my face. Initially, he had told me he couldn't

388
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,800
Speaker 2: explain things to someone who doesn't work, who's never had

389
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 2: to deal with money, or who's never had to allocate funds.

390
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 2: He said, if we were a part for too long,

391
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,399
Speaker 2: he's not going to love me anymore, and then I

392
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 2: had to move back in or he will stop loving

393
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Speaker 2: me and move on, though he claimed he still loved

394
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,920
Speaker 2: me at that moment. Thank you to everyone who commented

395
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,679
Speaker 2: on my original post and recommended the Lundie Bancroft book.

396
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,520
Speaker 2: It has confirmed everything I was thinking, and that is

397
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,480
Speaker 2: the end of that story. And let me just say,

398
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 2: it horrifies me that guys like this just walk around.

399
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,200
Speaker 2: I know, right, we might be like next to them

400
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 2: in line at the store, like truly horrific.

401
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 3: This is insanity.

402
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,440
Speaker 2: It doesn't make any sense.

403
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 3: I feel like people like this need to go to

404
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 3: the military or something and learn how to respect women more.

405
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 3: I don't know, bow down to your queen ten times,

406
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:21,720
Speaker 3: give me ten bows.

407
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 4: I do feel that the military is not the place

408
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Speaker 4: for that.

409
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,639
Speaker 3: Okay, we've revamped the military in order to make it

410
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 3: place for that.

411
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 2: Definitely the direction the military is going in now, are

412
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 2: you're gonna respect more women?

413
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 3: Yes, that's wherever going I wish. But a military where

414
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 3: it is that, where they let go and.

415
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 4: They Riley's new military where they just respect the heck

416
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 4: out of women boom.

417
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 2: I really do think we should have a new military

418
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 2: where they just bow down to my girlfriend, your girlfriend,

419
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:53,160
Speaker 2: and then she has an army.

420
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Speaker 3: Just be okay with that. A bunch of dudes being

421
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 3: near that, Yeah.

422
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 2: Dude, what she could just be like you go and

423
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 2: he'd be liked. But we got the next story coming up.

424
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 3: Guys. I received a phone call saying my boyfriend is

425
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,120
Speaker 3: already engaged to someone else.

426
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,959
Speaker 2: Well, uh, that the operator. I think you guy, your

427
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 2: numbers mixed up. Yeah, my boyfriend is from Zimbabwe. That's awesome.

428
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 3: And when he was sixteen and she was thirteen, he

429
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 3: was betrothed to marry a girl from the town he

430
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,959
Speaker 3: grew up in. He has only met her a handful

431
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 3: of times since then. He has gone overseas to study,

432
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,399
Speaker 3: which is where he met me. By the way, this

433
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 3: comes from Oh no, oh my. If younis me your

434
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 3: old stories, go to the r slash okay story jump

435
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 3: sub reddit.

436
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Speaker 2: I'm Riley, he's and she's boyfriend. I'm Dakota he has

437
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Speaker 2: a girlfriend, and.

438
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:47,360
Speaker 4: I'm Carly Kean's girlfriend. I almost said Kean's boyfriend.

439
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: No, that's me.

440
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, that's us actually, And we're here to give

441
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 3: good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers,

442
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 3: but I think you might, so let us know your

443
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 3: comments down below. Ann o'peake says, I'm devoted to him.

444
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 3: He's the best and kindest man I've ever met. We

445
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 3: make each other very happy. I'm starting to worry about

446
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 3: him becoming depressed because of the impossible expectations his family

447
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 3: have of him to study, get married, send money back home,

448
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:20,119
Speaker 3: and look after his younger sibling. Ooh. I've come to

449
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 3: accept that I will almost certainly have to let him

450
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 3: go to marry this other woman. But I'm having a

451
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,199
Speaker 3: hard time working out how I can support him and

452
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 3: make him happy and, if I'm honest, encourage him to

453
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 3: stay with me.

454
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 2: WHOA. None of that is necessarily what you have to

455
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 2: do or should do. Certainly, this is a cultural difference

456
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: that I can't really speak to. Although I once dated

457
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,159
Speaker 2: somebody who was in an arranged marriage in high school

458
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,160
Speaker 2: and guess what, they didn't want to do it? Oh,

459
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 2: and they didn't. I don't know. It's complicated, but I

460
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 2: think at the end of the day, it's like not

461
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: something that has to be done and not something that

462
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 2: you have to just like be like, okay, well, this

463
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,199
Speaker 2: is now my life and I'm just gonna have to

464
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,439
Speaker 2: deal with this and figure out how to subtly convince

465
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 2: him to want to stay with me instead. And it's like,

466
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 2: I think, this is just wow. You're gonna pick an

467
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 2: arranged marriage over me? Then I'm that's not for me.

468
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 3: Then I just wanted to ask Reddit if anyone has

469
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 3: a similar experience with an inner cultural relationship? Do I

470
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 3: have a hope? And heck? And edit pretty amazed by

471
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 3: how many people have replied, I'm still reading everything. Also,

472
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,640
Speaker 3: does anyone know where I can buy a sword? Boom?

473
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 3: I have two? All right?

474
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:34,920
Speaker 2: Edit?

475
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 3: I've been asked to put our ages in the original post.

476
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 3: I'm twenty three. He's twenty sixty seven, also has a

477
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 3: permanent visa, and is not from a royal village. He

478
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 3: grew up in a middle class mining town where his

479
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 3: father is an engineer. Comment her, you need to have

480
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 3: an honest heart to heart with this man. You need

481
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,680
Speaker 3: to tell him your fears and your expectations for your relationship.

482
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 3: If he's going to leave for her, then you too

483
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,479
Speaker 3: need to separate now instead of dragging it on. If

484
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 3: he is going to be with you, that he needs

485
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 3: to talk with his family and let them know that

486
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 3: you were his love and to cut the crap. Good

487
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 3: love friend, hope, He says. We've had so many of

488
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 3: these discussions and tried several times to separate. It's become

489
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 3: clear that while the two of us still care for

490
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 3: each other, cutting ties just doesn't work. I don't know

491
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 3: how to assert my expectations because I don't really have

492
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 3: any other than he is good and loyal to me. No,

493
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 3: he's not arranged marriage. It's hard to know who he's

494
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 3: being disloyal to.

495
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 2: What are you taught? I'm sorry, but you saying cutting

496
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 2: ties doesn't work because he's so loyal to me. No,

497
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 2: he's not. He's gonna go into an arranged marriage with

498
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 2: somebody from his town that he's met a handful of times.

499
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 2: I get it that it's a cultural difference, but it's like,

500
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 2: if he's truly like unwilling to you know what, be

501
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 2: like you know what, I'm shirking that I don't care.

502
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 2: I know it's going to be an issue with my family,

503
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 2: but like you are my wife, I want to marry you.

504
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 2: If he can't do that, then this is not the

505
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:08,159
Speaker 2: relationship for you.

506
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, agreed. A little bit more context to the situation.

507
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 3: He told me about his arranged marriage about one and

508
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 3: a half years into our relationship. It took me another

509
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 3: six months to fully understand what he was telling me,

510
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 3: and since I've been struggling with the moral implications as

511
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 3: well as the practical side of being in a relationship

512
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 3: that isn't likely to be approved by its family, we

513
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,679
Speaker 3: were unsuccessful in breaking up because there was never a

514
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 3: moment where we questioned whether we were happy together. Separations

515
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 3: seem like the logical thing to do to avoid further pain,

516
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 3: but it felt as far as I am being dishonest

517
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 3: with his family, Well, you may be right, but I

518
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 3: don't think it's that simple. I don't fully understand the culture,

519
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 3: but it's nothing like what I grew up with. The

520
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,679
Speaker 3: best way I can describe it is that it seems

521
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 3: similar to family dynamics in the fifties, where the dad

522
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 3: is the head of the household and doesn't have a

523
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 3: very emotional connection with kids. The mom is someone who

524
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 3: worries about him and he feels he has to protect

525
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 3: and his older brothers are like, why is I father

526
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 3: figures while he has responsibilities for his younger brothers, I mean,

527
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 3: don't want him not to have a relationship with his family,

528
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 3: But does he know what no contact is.

529
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: He's clearly not going to go no contact with his family.

530
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 2: And if you do stay in a relationship and it

531
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 2: does ruin his connections with his family, he's probably gonna

532
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 2: present you for it and blame you for it. Yeah,

533
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 2: regret that they did that. He did this, and today

534
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 2: this was all a big mistake. So the thing you

535
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 2: need to do is walk away from this. Don't tell

536
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 2: me you don't know how to do that, or call

537
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 2: the girl and be like, yo, still want to go

538
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: through this?

539
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to op, explains to another commenter, When

540
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 3: I said it took six months, what I was trying

541
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 3: to imply that it took me six months to really

542
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 3: understand the gravity of the situation and to really understand

543
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 3: that there's strong possibility that love will not conquer all

544
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 3: in our case.

545
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you mean a strong He's telling you

546
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 2: that he's going to get married to this other person

547
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 2: and that there's nothing to be done about it because

548
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 2: it's what his family expects. So he's telling you that, Yeah,

549
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: there's relationships on life support and one day the plug's

550
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 2: gonna get pulled.

551
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, In college. I was on and off again with well,

552
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 3: we kind of broke up, got back together, kind of

553
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 3: broke up, got back together, and my other relationship his

554
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 3: parents didn't really approve me and we should have just

555
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 3: walked away at the first one. And it's hard because

556
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 3: it's just like, I love you so much. I think

557
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 3: we're great together. The only reason we're not together is

558
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 3: because of my parents. It's easy to come like they're

559
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 3: not breaking up because they have beef with each other.

560
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 3: They're breaking up because of the circumstances. Since why they

561
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 3: get back together so easily. I feel like.

562
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 4: He's got to be the one then to be like

563
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 4: I'm pulling the plug because this is something that like

564
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 4: I knew that I had to do this whole time,

565
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 4: and it's affecting you that, like I'm also caving to

566
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 4: date you again. He's just got to be like, Okay,

567
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 4: I gotta do the tough thing now.

568
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 2: I'm worried. Op he's just being ideal, realistic, and that

569
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 2: this guy is being like I mean, yeah, I don't

570
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 2: have to feel guilty. Why would I feel guilty. I

571
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 2: told you that this was the situation, so I don't

572
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 2: have to end anything. I'm not being tortured about it

573
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: because I already know I'm getting married. I'm worried that

574
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 2: that's what's happening. I hope it's not, but I'm worried

575
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:16,159
Speaker 2: that's what it is.

576
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, we have another update. Two months later. He decided

577
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 3: he has no choice but to marry the girl he's

578
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 3: betrothed to. He hopes we can remain friends and keep

579
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 3: in touch. He will be going back home to marry

580
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 3: her in September, after which he will return here with

581
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 3: his new bride start married life together. The good news

582
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 3: is that they will be living in the same suburb

583
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,719
Speaker 3: as me, so the chances of me bumping into them

584
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 3: are high. No clarified in the comments, this is sarcasm.

585
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 3: How shall I move on and avoid spending the next

586
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 3: year sitting in the dark drinking gin Get a hobby,

587
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 3: meet new people.

588
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 2: I think you really do need to reanalyze this relationship.

589
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 2: You dated him for a year and a half before

590
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 2: he told you about this, then it kind of didn't

591
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 2: sync in for another six months, so you've been together

592
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 2: for two years at the point where you realized, oh,

593
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 2: this is like serious, this is a real thing. I

594
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 2: don't know if this was necessarily the fairy tale love

595
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 2: conquers all situation being stifled by you know, family tradition

596
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,199
Speaker 2: that you might think it is. And I think reframing

597
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 2: it in that way would definitely help you move on,

598
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 2: because now you're not imagining like you've lost like the

599
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 2: love of your life in this fairy tale situation, and

600
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 2: it's like a divine tragedy, Like it's really just like

601
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 2: a guy kind of strung yell along.

602
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, can you ask him, for the sake of his

603
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 3: feelings for you to move to a different suburb. It's

604
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 3: not going to matter to the new girl where she lives,

605
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 3: so he at least should do one less thing right

606
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 3: by you. The reason he's moving to the area is

607
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 3: to finish his masters. The college he wants to go

608
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 3: to happens to be about five minutes away from my house,

609
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 3: and the city I live in isn't all that big.

610
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 3: Another commenter says, just talk about it with someone, you

611
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 3: can share this. I tried dealing with it by myself

612
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 3: when my girlfriend of seven years left me when I

613
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 3: found out she had been cheating on me. I thought

614
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 3: I was over her, and so when I tried to

615
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 3: date someone again a year later, I realized I was

616
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 3: still left up. Thankfully, I ended up dating a girl

617
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 3: who my best friend, and I could talk about everything

618
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,479
Speaker 3: with her. Now I feel great, probably the best I've

619
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: ever felt. But who says thanks, shall try to do

620
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 3: the same. But tell me, do you feel embarrassed to

621
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 3: talk to your friends about your situation? The reason I

622
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 3: asked is because I feel ashamed about the whole thing.

623
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 3: And even though I don't believe my friends would judge

624
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: me fre like an idiot for believing things might work out,

625
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 3: the idea of discussing that idiocracy anyone else who knows

626
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 3: me is really repellent. At the moment. You're in love

627
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 3: when you're.

628
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 2: Young, sometimes you gotta eat the l You just gotta

629
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 2: eat it go and then just swallow it and it's gone.

630
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 3: It's like lizard leather.

631
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 2: You ate that l that leather, lizard l Well.

632
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 3: Same commenter. Honestly could not talk about this with any

633
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 3: of my friends. I really only have male friends. It

634
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 3: wasn't until I became friends with this other girl who

635
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 3: was going through a breakup too, that I could finally

636
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 3: talk about the things that bothered me. And I felt

637
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 3: a little embarrassed talking about it. But when I realized

638
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 3: she wouldn't judge me. I was able to open up.

639
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 3: You just need to find someone that you are comfortable

640
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 3: sharing with, hope, He says, Thanks sound advice. I've started

641
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 3: at a new university, so at least the chances of

642
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 3: meeting new people are pretty good. It would have been

643
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 3: a shame if my only option would siddle up people

644
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 3: at the bus stop. Another commenter, how do people do this?

645
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 3: How do you leave someone you shared your life with

646
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 3: for three years? How could you marry someone you don't

647
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 3: even know? How do you make it work with someone

648
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 3: of a completely different upbringing assuming he grew up in

649
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 3: North America and her in Zimbabwe. Who's that scared of

650
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 3: their parents that they are willing to throw it all

651
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 3: away to please them? Please? These stories shock me always.

652
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. Culture difference, different cultures, different expectation.

653
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, my culture is if I don't, you know, give

654
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 3: my first born son to go to the work of

655
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 3: the saw mill for a summer, I have ashamed of

656
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 3: my family. During that Boy's Collar Blue, I ask him

657
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 3: very similar questions and the answers were all of the

658
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 3: lines of I have to choose between you and my

659
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 3: entire family. If I stayed with you, they would be

660
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 3: humiliated and would never fully accept you. Also, any misfortunes

661
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 3: that we my experience in the future, you know, a

662
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 3: baby passing will be attributed to the fact that I

663
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,239
Speaker 3: betrayed my family and you are a heathen and this

664
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 3: is our punishment from God.

665
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 2: Honestly, that's like the most heathen belief you could probably have.

666
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 2: That a bad thing that happens to you is you

667
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: being smited by God because you didn't listen to your parents. Okay, sure.

668
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,959
Speaker 3: He has spoken to her a few times and can

669
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 3: only hope for the best. She comes from a good

670
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 3: Christian family and has been trained since she was young

671
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 3: to be a good wife. He said that he will

672
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 3: regret it for the rest of his life if he

673
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 3: can't find happiness with her, but this is the decision

674
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 3: he has to make. Another one. He only came here

675
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 3: to study a few years ago when he was in

676
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 3: his early twenties, so they have had similar upbringings, the

677
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 3: major difference being that he has experienced years in a

678
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 3: totally different secular culture and can see the value of it.

679
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 3: She has never left her hometown except for short stays

680
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 3: with relatives in other cities. She still has her V card, etc. Etc.

681
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 3: It's not that he's scared of them, is that he

682
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 3: feels guilty because he feels that he's bringing them. Also,

683
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 3: this goes beyond his parents to his extended family, and

684
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 3: family is very important to him culturally. The prospect of

685
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 3: not having his family is more or less unthinkable for him.

686
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 3: I don't know if I feel more sorry for him

687
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 3: or myself. I guess it's probably me because of Disney what.

688
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 2: I don't know what that means.

689
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 3: But look the way that Disney love It's like everyone loveful,

690
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 3: triumph everything.

691
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: The whole way that this guy's been moving. It's like

692
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 2: he knew he had this arranged marriage thing. Clearly he

693
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 2: was never ever intending on not fulfilling it. And he

694
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: is in a different country and a different culture, and

695
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 2: he knows that anything with you cannot be long term

696
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 2: because his family won't accept you, and he puts his

697
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 2: family family's approval above everything else. So he literally just

698
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 2: ran around with you like, oh, this is just a

699
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: little toy. This is just a little phase of my

700
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 2: life where I get to play around with her, and

701
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 2: then I put her back on the shelf and I

702
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 2: go marry my arranged marriage wife and find happiness with her. Yeah,

703
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 2: I'd be like, go find happiness with your wife. I

704
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 2: hope you have a miserable time.

705
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: Reminds me of I'm watching a lot of Game of

706
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 3: Throns right now. This reminds you of pro whenever. Yeah,

707
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 3: he married one girl, and he should have did the

708
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 3: arranged marriage. You come in her. The fact that he

709
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 3: felt the need to go mention that she has been

710
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: trained to be a good wife is a kind of

711
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 3: indication of the respect he might have had for you

712
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 3: if you ended up marrying him. He says, that was

713
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 3: me paraphrasing, perhaps slightly bitterly, not a direct quote. He

714
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 3: was saying that she has had a sheltered upbringing, is

715
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 3: very religious as whiting for the day she gets married

716
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,439
Speaker 3: for her whole life. I mean same, I've been waiting

717
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 3: for that since I was five, then trained to be

718
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 3: married and praying trained.

719
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 2: To be wed.

720
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you didn't say in a condescending she's a good

721
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 3: little woman way, or even say that those qualities are

722
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 3: universally valued by the standards of his hometown. However, she

723
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 3: is a good hand.

724
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on here, girl, get yourself

725
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 2: worth up off the floor. Man, it's down bad, and

726
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,320
Speaker 2: this guy's hot. Honestly, this guy's hot. I was actually

727
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,439
Speaker 2: gonna give op a little bit of grief because after

728
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: you've realized the seriousness of this that you should have

729
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: immediately walked away as soon as he was like, oh, yeah,

730
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 2: well you know this, I'm gonna get married and then

731
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: we can't do this anymore. As soon as that like

732
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 2: sank in all the way, you should have walked off,

733
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: and you should have been like, why would you do this?

734
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 2: Like why would you create like this thing with me

735
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 2: and have this bond in this relationship where I can

736
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 2: see a future with us, and then you pull this

737
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:08,280
Speaker 2: a year and a half afterwards, like you're pathetic, your liar,

738
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: you deceived me. Lose my number, lose my info. That's

739
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 2: where you should be at.

740
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: Honestly, he knows what he has to do. Ope on moving.

741
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 3: The wedding is overseas, so thankfully mutual friends attending is

742
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 3: not an issue. I can't move at the moment, though

743
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 3: I've gotten a two year release. More importantly, I've just

744
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 3: started a course that I love, and my UNI offers

745
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 3: one of the best programs available in my field. I

746
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 3: can't sacrifice that at the moment, because really a major

747
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 3: reason that I haven't locked myself in my room with

748
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 3: stack of DVDs and several cases of wine. Poor op

749
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 3: this is before the internet, to a longer comment saying

750
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 3: she's not mad enough, he didn't fight it, and she

751
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 3: should move. Just a couple of things to clear up.

752
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 3: I've explained above why I don't want to move. I

753
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 3: have rental and university commitments that are very important and positive. Respectfully,

754
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 3: he did tell his parents about me, he said. The

755
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 3: extent of their response is don't even think about it.

756
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 3: Apparently a few words were spoken, but they have made

757
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 3: themselves very clear. Whether this can be considering fighting for

758
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,919
Speaker 3: the relationship, I'm still unsure. I don't know. For him

759
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 3: to even bring it up with his parents was a

760
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 3: big deal for him. When he told me about it,

761
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 3: he seemed upset with himself. He said something like it

762
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 3: was a short conversation that they cut off almost immediately.

763
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 3: I may live to regret that I did not have

764
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 3: the balls to say more.

765
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:29,720
Speaker 2: I'm not mad.

766
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 3: To be real, I don't even think this woman is

767
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 3: a thing. I don't think this woman is a real thing.

768
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. It's like oh, you mean the

769
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 2: more that you could say today or tomorrow or immediately

770
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 2: like oh I wish oh, they shut down the conversation.

771
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 2: I might regret it the rest of my life that

772
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 2: I didn't say more. WHOA, Well, you could fix that immediately, actually,

773
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 2: but you won't because you just want to say what

774
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 2: makes you sound like you gave it your best shot.

775
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: It's just crazy, dude, wild I hope that you come

776
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 2: out from under this spell that this guy had you on.

777
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 3: Sam.

778
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,359
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's

779
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 1: three of it's bads from our sponsors.

780
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 3: I'm not mad because I can see that he isn't

781
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,959
Speaker 3: happy and that he feels strapped. I still care for him.

782
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 3: I can't bring myself to write him off just because

783
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 3: I don't get what I want. I can see why

784
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 3: you imagine him to be innipotive, but I think this

785
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 3: is just one of those things in life that suck

786
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 3: for all who is involved. Was a future wife. The

787
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 3: person who called you, Opie says. The idea of the

788
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 3: caller remains a mystery. The call seems to come from

789
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 3: inside the country, which would indicate that it wasn't her.

790
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 3: I'll never know because understandably, he doesn't want his future

791
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 3: wife to know about us. Wonder why asking her if

792
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 3: she made the phone call would be fruitless if it

793
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 3: was her, and devastating if it wasn't. In any case,

794
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,320
Speaker 3: I get another call, I'll politely insist that they identified

795
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 3: themselves properly. Least I asked the police to identify them.

796
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 3: Shan't be harassed. And about keeping in touch with her

797
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 3: lover A pardon me wants to think that we will

798
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 3: keep in touch and try to look out for each

799
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:09,479
Speaker 3: other from distance. The danger is that I think I'll

800
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 3: always feel that he's really mine and that I'll have

801
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 3: more legitimate claim to him than his wife. That's why

802
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 3: we need to stay away from each other, especially in

803
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,479
Speaker 3: the first couple of years. It wouldn't be fair to anyone. Dude,

804
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 3: do not be near him if he's like freaking married.

805
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 2: Don't be near him ever. Again. Leave this guy in

806
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 2: the past. And again, I just feel like this guy's

807
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: lying to you. You're like he's upset. It's like you

808
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:34,240
Speaker 2: can fake that very simply. You just gotta go, oh, baby,

809
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 2: I'm oh. I just don't want to do like and

810
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 2: I don't know you sound a little GULLI blow pee.

811
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie, so he probably wouldn't take that

812
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 2: much to fool you. Yeah, hey, I'm just calling out.

813
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 2: I see it. I hope. I wish nothing but the

814
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 2: best for you. But man, well she did say Disney.

815
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 3: I mean, I had a fairy tale Disney aspect about

816
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 3: love with my ex and then that all crumbled.

817
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, yeah, you've got to be pretty

818
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,840
Speaker 2: tolerant to be told he has an arranged marriage. And

819
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: still it takes six months for that to sink in.

820
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 2: Like you don't immediately go, hey, what did you just say?

821
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 2: Like arranged? How like you're gonna marry it like you were,

822
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 2: or you are going to marry this person? How did

823
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,399
Speaker 2: we not get to the bottom of that immediately as

824
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 2: soon as it was spoken out loud.

825
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 3: Where op is and whether they will live their long

826
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 3: term not in the US, in Australia and no, she

827
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 3: will come here while he finishes his masters, then they

828
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 3: will go back to Africa.

829
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 2: Update two, Nice.

830
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 3: No mate, naar gnra mate. Okay, So update two we

831
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 3: still see each other a couple of days a week. Dude,

832
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 3: She's all right, she's digmatized. Nah, he does shift work.

833
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 3: So that minimizes our opportunities for spending too much time together.

834
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 3: We've agreed to make the most of her time together

835
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: before September. That is not fair to you, That is

836
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 3: not fair to his future wife. He's just using.

837
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,479
Speaker 2: You human torch because I'm flaming right now.

838
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 3: I'm sure people will criticize me for it, but we've

839
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 3: tried to separate completely. It makes us both miserable.

840
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: Oh no, I have zero sympathy for you at this point.

841
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but I'm not.

842
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 3: It's going to suck when the time comes to properly

843
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 3: say goodbye. It's nice to have sound sleep snuggled up

844
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 3: to someone.

845
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 2: I was in a situation with my ex.

846
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 3: I know to keep bringing her up, but she was

847
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 3: gonna leave in a month to go to Atlanta. But

848
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 3: we still like spend as much time together as we could,

849
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 3: knowing we probably weren't gonna make it.

850
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 2: Well, that's yeah, I mean, that's it's different. That's different.

851
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 2: She's not going to Atlanta to marry somebody that she

852
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 2: has been planning to marry for I don't know her

853
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 2: whole life.

854
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:49,879
Speaker 3: She ended up did doing that a year later?

855
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 2: Wasn't the plan though? Maybe no Betrothal. Yeah, I don't

856
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 2: know that's different. That really is like what op He's

857
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,040
Speaker 2: kind of thing. I was just like, oh, circumstance, this

858
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 2: is are you know, forcing us apart? You're going to Atlanta?

859
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: I mean not whatever either call would be correct. It's

860
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 2: like you can either spend that time together, you can

861
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 2: be like, I don't want this to hurt more than

862
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 2: it's already going to. So I think we should just

863
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 2: if we know this is what's happening, we should just

864
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 2: call it right now cause I don't want to, you know,

865
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: I don't want you to play with my part.

866
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 3: Okay. Update three nine years later, editors know I included

867
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 3: this to show Opie's life did move on. I have

868
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 3: my phone in silent because a baby is sleeping on me,

869
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 3: even without sound. I woke the babe from silently shaking

870
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 3: with laughter. Worth it and to a commenter, I sure

871
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 3: do miss babies, Opie says, yep. Never used to get it,

872
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 3: but I can say, hand on my heart now. Best

873
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 3: thing ever did editors No, Ope hasn't been active since

874
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,839
Speaker 3: twenty twenty one. Oh she's doing really well. Editor's note two.

875
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 3: I couldn't find the context for the comment, but Opie

876
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 3: initially clarified Dex wasn't planning on living in Australia forever.

877
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 3: That could have changed, but here is the comment. His

878
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 3: big plan is he wants to start a farm with

879
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 3: his best friend in Zimbabwe, in Zambia. Who know, trouble,

880
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:07,399
Speaker 3: I'm justlexic. It's fine.

881
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 2: You just say you saw z and you swung.

882
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 3: No, I just pronounced it wrong rather than going back

883
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 3: to zim Babe. It's the worst I know. Oh my god.

884
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 3: I recently went overseas with him to meet his best

885
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: friend and his best friend's fiance, who both are white

886
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 3: South Africans. We all get along beautifully.

887
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 6: What that's the worst thing I've ever heard. You're still

888
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 6: going on trips with him to Africa when he's getting

889
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 6: married to what. I hope you've moved on.

890
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 2: I hope you move on. A lot edde.

891
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 5: Lot of.

892
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 3: A fever dream right there? A little crazy, But guys,

893
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 3: we got another store.

894
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 2: Are you coming up right now? My fiance gambelled my

895
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 2: grandmother's wedding ring.

896
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,320
Speaker 3: Did he double his money?

897
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 2: Oh? This is from the Okay storytime subreddit. It's one

898
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 2: of you. I'm so sorry, so oh god. I twenty

899
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 2: four female. I've been with my boyfriend now fiance, twenty

900
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 2: six male for three years. Yes, he's wonderful in a

901
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 2: lot of ways, kind, attentive, makes me laugh, great with money.

902
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 2: We've been talking about marriage seriously, and I knew a

903
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 2: proposal was coming because my mom accidentally let it slip

904
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 2: that he asked her about my grandmother's ring. Dude, this

905
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,760
Speaker 2: is actually a good way to gamble.

906
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 3: I didn't even think about this.

907
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 2: Explain yourself, Okay.

908
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 3: I go to Angel, Yeah, and I'm like, hey, getting

909
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 3: pretty serious about your daughter. Do you guys like have

910
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,919
Speaker 3: like a ring in your family that you guys passed down?

911
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 2: This is truly the best way to gamble. The long

912
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 2: con you get in a long term, real relationship with somebody,

913
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 2: the point where you make your family think you're serious

914
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 2: about marriage, you steal their.

915
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 3: Air own ring. No no, no, no, no, and turn it

916
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 3: into you don't hear playing with heirloom rings. Okay, now

917
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 3: you're getting to the end of moore plan. You pawn

918
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 3: it knowing like you can buy it back. Oh okay,

919
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 3: and then you go if it's a lock, you have

920
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 3: to make sure it's a lock. Lock double money and

921
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 3: you can get two heirloom rings, right, it's better than

922
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,720
Speaker 3: one two. And then you take those two heirloom rings.

923
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 2: Oh now, cook, and now you got four rings. You

924
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 2: do that enough, you can start your own ring shop.

925
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 2: It's a family heirloom, a delicate Art Deco diamond band

926
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 2: that has been passed down for three generations. My mom

927
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 2: gave it to him to hold on to until he proposed.

928
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from User Aware issue twenty

929
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 2: two thirty nine, so at least you're aware of the issue.

930
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

931
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime separate where this story

932
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 2: was submitted.

933
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, the one that can't read.

934
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 2: I'm wearing glasses too hot. But I'm Carly and we're

935
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 2: here to give you good advice. Googly, But we don't

936
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

937
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 2: So if you would do something different, let us know

938
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:13,720
Speaker 2: in the comments, and Op says. Fast forward to last

939
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 2: weekend in July. He goes out with his buddies for

940
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 2: poker night. Nothing unusual. Oh my god, he gambled it up.

941
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 2: Just a poker game.

942
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 3: Dude, he's practicing stopt Oh no, but he came home

943
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 3: late and I noticed something shiny in his pocket when

944
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:33,720
Speaker 3: he threw his jeans in the hamper.

945
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 2: I pulled it out into my absolute shock. It was

946
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,439
Speaker 2: my grandmother's ring.

947
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's probably waiting to propose.

948
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 2: I confronted him right there because yeah, because what are

949
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 2: you doing just carrying around the heirloom ring? That's crazy

950
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 2: in his pocket? Where else is it supposed to be

951
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 2: somewhere safe? But if you have the.

952
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,800
Speaker 3: Ring you're waiting for, if I'm bindering, I'm keeping it

953
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 3: in my pocket until it's.

954
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,800
Speaker 2: Not my thoughts. That's crazy. What that's crazy?

955
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 3: It's not an DC every day carry No, that should

956
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:05,479
Speaker 3: stay safe.

957
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 2: Pie, you know you're proposing. What if I'm like, because also,

958
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 2: who just goes you're just gonna Oh, I feel like

959
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:12,839
Speaker 2: I'm gonna propose right now. I guess I'll put that's

960
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 2: how it happens. That's not how it happens. It's something

961
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 2: you should plan. You're not gonna babe me. Hey, y'all,

962
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 2: it's John og Host here. We're gonna get back to

963
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 2: the story. But here's a quick three minute break from

964
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 2: ask for more sponsors. So and he admitted he's been

965
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,920
Speaker 2: bringing it to poker nights for luck. He said it

966
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 2: started as a joke. His friend called it the engagement talisman,

967
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 2: but then he swore it actually helped him win. He

968
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 2: promised he never bet it, just kept it in his pocket.

969
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,280
Speaker 2: We were able to work it out over a few weeks,

970
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 2: and he promised he wouldn't do it again. He even

971
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,839
Speaker 2: stopped going to poker weekly and now only goes once

972
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 2: a month. About a month or so after this, he

973
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,399
Speaker 2: finally proposed with my grandmother's ring and I said, yes,

974
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 2: okay ooh you didn't try.

975
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 3: Okay, I bet you. He still wants to ring on

976
00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 3: Thursday nights though.

977
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 2: Then came our engagement party. Oh boy, he's gonna gamble it.

978
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 5: After he's proposed.

979
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 2: We are celebrating. Everything's perfect until one of his friends

980
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 2: makes a joke about how my fiance almost had to

981
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 2: propose with a crackerjack ring and I froze when I

982
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 2: pressed him. Later, my fiance admitted that months ago he

983
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: actually did gamble the ring and lost it. He only

984
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 2: got it back after weeks of playing until he won

985
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 2: it back. Woo.

986
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 3: What what do you call the people that play pool

987
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 3: to get money? And they like, what do you call

988
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 3: that a hustler? Yeah, he had a hustle for your

989
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 3: getting the ring back.

990
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna say this, Kian. If this is a

991
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 2: good the Boys Boys poker night and someone's gambles the

992
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 2: engagement ring and loses it, we are not taking that.

993
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 2: We are immediately giving him the most crap he has

994
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:00,800
Speaker 2: ever had in life.

995
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 5: Giving you three warnings. I'm telling you get three strikes

996
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 5: if you keep putting it on the table, saying I

997
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 5: want to keep going.

998
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 2: I'm taking I'm taking that ring three strikes, and then

999
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 2: you're what I mean, then you're engaged to keon. I'm

1000
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,479
Speaker 2: gonna need a grand I'm gonna need something. You're gonna

1001
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 2: have to win it back.

1002
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 5: You're messing up the fact that I've worn you three

1003
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 5: times to not put that ring on the table, and

1004
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 5: I'm your friend and I love you, and you say

1005
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 5: I gotta keep going. I got to Chase. I'm like,

1006
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 5: you had a problem, brother, but let's play this game.

1007
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 2: I would like to think your friends would never let

1008
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 2: you actually lose that ring forever. I don't, but I

1009
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,720
Speaker 2: don't like that the heirloom ring was just with another

1010
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 2: person who's not related to it. I could have also

1011
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 2: lost it because they're carrying it around in their pocket.

1012
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 5: You see, gambling with that. He has a gamble and.

1013
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 2: That's yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think they no

1014
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 2: one there probably even realizes the value of it. But anyway, okay,

1015
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 2: so not only did he risk my grandmother's heirloom, but

1016
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 2: he lied to me when I could rented it. You

1017
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 2: let me believe we had worked through it, when really

1018
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 2: he was hiding the worst part of the story the

1019
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 2: entire time. Now I feel like the proposal itself is

1020
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 2: tainted because all I can think about is how that

1021
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 2: ring was sitting on someone else's poker table.

1022
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 3: This is why we don't keep engagement rings in our pockets, Riley.

1023
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 3: So now this gives me another reason.

1024
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,640
Speaker 2: My read on this is that this was a bit

1025
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,240
Speaker 2: that went out of control and got out of hand.

1026
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 2: Nobody in the group should have entertained this, should have

1027
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: entertained this. No one should have been taking the ring.

1028
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm sure that if the ring was

1029
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 2: at some point the ring would have been got meg

1030
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 2: whoever had that ring. I think the biggest thing is

1031
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 2: the disrespect of allowing it to even leave your person.

1032
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:43,320
Speaker 2: But whoever had that ring, if he went in and

1033
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 2: goes like I'm proposing to her, like I need that

1034
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 2: ring back, I'm sure they would have given it back.

1035
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 2: But I think it's more now at this point the

1036
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 2: principle of you were lied to and you were deceived,

1037
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:55,800
Speaker 2: and that he would even do something to treat the

1038
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 2: ring with such flip and sea, I think, yeah, it's like, well,

1039
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,279
Speaker 2: and now that the whole proposals tainted because it's like,

1040
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 2: what if you wanted to propose before, you couldn't because

1041
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 2: you had to get it back. And also you're treating

1042
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 2: it like it's just like a poker chip, which then

1043
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 2: how much does it really mean to you that you're

1044
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 2: proposing to me with this ring if you were willing

1045
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 2: to gamble it. So, yeah, it does really mess a

1046
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 2: lot of stuff up. It does complicate things.

1047
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 4: He put that in his pocket knowing he was putting

1048
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 4: that on the table, There's no way he didn't.

1049
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 3: I would give an ultimatum, no more gambling or we're done,

1050
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 3: and then i'd also talk to all his friends. If

1051
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 3: you guys tell me he's gambling, I'll give you fifty

1052
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 3: bucks on the spot and a hundred bucks if you

1053
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:37,240
Speaker 3: can tell me before we get married, and a thousands.

1054
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 2: Anyway, we have a little bit more story left. Obi says,

1055
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 2: right now, I've gone to stay with my mom for

1056
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,239
Speaker 2: a bit. I gave you the ring back because I

1057
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 2: don't feel comfortable wearing it anymore. And I told my

1058
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 2: fiance that if he still wants to marry me, he

1059
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 2: needs to propose again with a different ring or it's over.

1060
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 2: He says, I'm being dramatic and ruining a good thing

1061
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 2: over one mistake.

1062
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:57,320
Speaker 6: Ugh.

1063
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 2: Nah, but I can't shake the feeling that this was

1064
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 2: more than just a mistake. It was reckless, disrespectful, and dishonest.

1065
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 2: So am I overreacting by making him get a different ring?

1066
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 2: Or is this a fair boundary after what he did? Yeah? No,

1067
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 2: I think that is fair. This is exactly like I said.

1068
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 2: It's like it makes you think to propose me with

1069
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 2: this ring that was supposed to be so meaningful, but

1070
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 2: you literally lost it at a boys night poker game.

1071
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 2: Like clearly you didn't give two shits about the ring.

1072
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 2: So I think yeah, And now if you want to

1073
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,360
Speaker 2: guess what, go out and use that poker money that

1074
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 2: you're winning to go buy me another ring hustle. There

1075
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,320
Speaker 2: you go. But that is the end of that story,

1076
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:40,720
Speaker 2: and we have some comments to read. Okay, these comments

1077
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 2: are from the video I Discovered my Girlfriend's doc Secret,

1078
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 2: and that was posted on September thirtieth, twenty twenty five.

1079
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,240
Speaker 2: The TLDR is Op thirty Mail was ready to propose

1080
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 2: to his girlfriend, twenty eight female when he got a

1081
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 2: shocking Facebook message. She had been married before and had

1082
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 2: a son who had tragically passed away, something she had

1083
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,800
Speaker 2: never told him. Opie felt betrayed, but when she finally

1084
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 2: opened up about her past, he saw how much pain

1085
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 2: she had been carrying. Now op has to decide if

1086
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 2: he can move forward and marry the woman he loves

1087
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 2: knowing the heartbreaking secret she kept hidden. And if you're

1088
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 2: curious to know how the full story goes, you can

1089
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 2: watch it on YouTube.

1090
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,440
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go watch it because I don't know the

1091
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 3: heartbreaking secret I do.

1092
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,760
Speaker 2: I remember this story and it was a very intense.

1093
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 3: Oh like a Steinfeld episode, more intense than Seinfeld.

1094
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 2: Woo, all right, let's get these comments ready.

1095
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:42,800
Speaker 4: We got some comments. Nana Pee eight twenty seven says

1096
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 4: she was wanting a fresh start from the pain in

1097
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 4: her past. Her personality that you love is part of

1098
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 4: her hurt that formed her who she is today. You

1099
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 4: can bring up what you know from that phone call

1100
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 4: and tell her you love her and you're here for her,

1101
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 4: and if she wants to talk, you're there for her

1102
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:58,320
Speaker 4: when she's ready.

1103
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's smart, sounds good. I would definitely do that

1104
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,799
Speaker 3: because that's in the past and you're gonna have to

1105
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 3: work on how to move forward with her during this.

1106
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 3: So if you are ready to do that kind of

1107
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 3: work with her, go for it.

1108
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 4: Cool Yellow Daisy Sunshine twenty forty eight says, omg, it's

1109
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 4: not even seven am. I'm putting my kids on the bus,

1110
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 4: enjoying the morning on the front porch and this I

1111
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 4: have literally cried why. I can only imagine that poor

1112
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 4: woman's heartbreak. When OPI said she couldn't stand to look

1113
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:30,959
Speaker 4: at Sam's brother because he looks so much like him,

1114
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 4: my heart.

1115
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 2: Broke for her.

1116
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, life is so hard.

1117
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 4: Be kind y'all. You never know what someone's facing.

1118
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 2: You never ever know, that's the thing. It's like, there

1119
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:43,439
Speaker 2: were so many assumptions about like why this was kept

1120
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 2: hidden and all this stuff and blah blah, blah blah,

1121
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 2: and like it's like, uh, you never want to really

1122
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 2: jump to conclusions.

1123
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 4: Okay, And the last comment is djxx y. I don't

1124
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 4: have to find out anything like that from someone is

1125
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,480
Speaker 4: going to be my partner. I understand about the kid part.

1126
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 4: But a man after twenty twofold marriage and he finds

1127
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 4: out she was married before. W TF If you think

1128
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 4: I'm wrong, imagine if you the one find that information

1129
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,760
Speaker 4: after twenty years of marriage.

1130
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 3: That is a lot to digest. Actually, I would hope

1131
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 3: that whoever I'm with wouldn't mind telling me the truth,

1132
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 3: and even if it is heartbreaking, they just you know,

1133
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,360
Speaker 3: I trust you fully and that's a big part of

1134
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 3: your past and I think it's a big part of

1135
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 3: who we are. Not like super big, but like you.

1136
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:31,840
Speaker 5: Know, if it's the truth you can't handle, it.

1137
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter if I can handle it or not. You

1138
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:33,839
Speaker 3: gotta tell me that.

1139
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's fair.

1140
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's ane of those comments. So if you

1141
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 3: love us, make sure to subscribe.

1142
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 5: We love you and see you tomorrow.

1143
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 1: Passsssssssssssssssss.