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Speaker 1: Happy coming. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm

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Speaker 1: Erica and I'm Mela.

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Speaker 2: Happy Wednesday, Happy Humpday, my people.

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Speaker 1: How's it going.

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Speaker 2: It's going amazing. I'm feeling really good. How's it going

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Speaker 2: over there in my love I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling refreshed. I'm back in ghetto America. But I'm

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Speaker 1: still in the retreat state of mind. Yeah, so I'm good.

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Speaker 2: Same. Do you have an Actually I have an affirmation?

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Speaker 1: Sure, go for it.

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Speaker 2: My affirmation is I am safe and I am secure

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Speaker 2: because of me.

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Speaker 1: I am safe and I am secure because of me.

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Speaker 2: We did.

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Speaker 1: We had a moment with that in Costa Rica.

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Speaker 2: We had a lot of moments in Costa Rica. So

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys are just joining us

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Speaker 2: on this journey, but Eric and I have had some

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Speaker 2: milestones recently. We had a two hunchredth episode a couple

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Speaker 2: of weeks ago. We're coming up on our four year

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Speaker 2: anniversary next week, and we recently just got hot off

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Speaker 2: the plane from Costa Rica where we hosted our first

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Speaker 2: two retreats, and wow, fucking wow, I really I have.

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Speaker 2: I've had such a magical experience that exceeded my expectations

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Speaker 2: so much it's really been kind of difficult to put

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Speaker 2: into words, just how fucking amazing of a time we had.

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Speaker 2: But one of the things that came up a lot

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Speaker 2: during this time is just reminding ourselves that we have

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Speaker 2: created safety and security because of us. Yeah. So we

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Speaker 2: went to Costa Rica and.

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Speaker 1: Changed people's lives, Yeah, including our own.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think we had this grand idea to have

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Speaker 2: these trips, to host these trips for women, and we

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Speaker 2: had an idea of what we wanted to look like,

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Speaker 2: but like, in all transparency, Eric and I have never

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Speaker 2: either of us been to retreat, so we kind of

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Speaker 2: were like, this is what I think it should be like,

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Speaker 2: and we curated all these things, but what we actually

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Speaker 2: experienced was so fucking magical, And which I think the

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Speaker 2: thing is is that we knew that collectively, women harness power,

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Speaker 2: but I don't think we've ever experienced women harnessing power

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Speaker 2: in this close contact, in this like open space, in

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Speaker 2: this magical place at like one time. And I don't

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Speaker 2: know if I've cried more ever in a two week span.

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Speaker 1: I've definitely cried more, but it was out of sorrow,

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Speaker 1: tears of purity, tears of joy. I've never cried this

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Speaker 1: much out of happiness ever in my life, not even

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Speaker 1: not having a baby, and that feels I feel bad

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Speaker 1: about that, but also I don't but because I did

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Speaker 1: this just like birthing a baby that I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like I think that me and Mila had some idea

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Speaker 1: what we were doing. And I'm actually glad we've never

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Speaker 1: been to a retreat because we were actually planning on

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Speaker 1: trying to go to one before we did this. But

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that we didn't because we really had no

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Speaker 1: like you said, expectation for per se also kind of

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Speaker 1: created whatever the fuck we wanted to create, and because

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Speaker 1: we didn't have a lot of expectation, we allowed space

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Speaker 1: for it to just kind of manifest in the way

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Speaker 1: that it was going to Both groups because we had

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Speaker 1: two retreats were totally different, and I don't know, like,

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Speaker 1: so the first retreat we had, we had a we

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Speaker 1: had like one really good friend there. Anie shut out

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Speaker 1: to Nishe and actually talked to her yesterday and I

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Speaker 1: was telling her that, you know, when me and Mila

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Speaker 1: were talking about retreat one and how we didn't really

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Speaker 1: realize it, but her being there kind of offered like

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Speaker 1: a sense of security for us in ways, knowing that

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Speaker 1: there was someone in the room that like we knew

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Speaker 1: there was kind of like half our back. Well you

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Speaker 1: know what.

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Speaker 2: Initially I was like, I don't I didn't think too

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Speaker 2: much about it, but I was like, I thought it

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Speaker 2: was going to be harder because someone we knew was

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Speaker 2: going to be in the room because she knows us.

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Speaker 1: And she's gonna be like bitch.

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Speaker 2: But it ended up actually being like such a such

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Speaker 2: a comfort and such a indication that things were going okay.

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Speaker 2: Like if she was okay, I'm like, oh, okay, so

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Speaker 2: it's going okay.

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Speaker 1: Well, she's my most curated friend, so she's she's high

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Speaker 1: expectations for us like this, then we're doing good. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I think that we put so much time and

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Speaker 2: you know, effort into curating this experience that every second

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Speaker 2: up until the very second it began, we were like this,

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Speaker 2: do we get this? We had to take six fucking

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Speaker 2: luggages to Costa Rica, and not just the Costa Rica,

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Speaker 2: but de Porto Viejo, which is five hours from the airport,

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Speaker 2: so there was a lot of moving pieces to this

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Speaker 2: to this event. Obviously, each week we had over twenty

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Speaker 2: women and we were just really focused on it going

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Speaker 2: smoothly and everything getting there and so we I don't

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Speaker 2: think we put that much thought into how it was

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Speaker 2: going to play out. And there we only had less

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Speaker 2: than twenty four hours between each retreat, which is crazy,

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Speaker 2: but we had all this angst when they'm getting there.

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Speaker 2: They you know, we heard they arrived in San Jose,

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Speaker 2: which is five hours away. We heard that the bus

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Speaker 2: was leaving. We were like, we felt their energy getting closer.

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Speaker 2: We had been on this resort by ourselves, and then

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Speaker 2: they came and then I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: there's people here that we don't know.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, they're here. They've traveled a long distance.

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Speaker 2: I hope that we've They're going to like get everything

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Speaker 2: that they expect. And like, one thing about Erica and

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Speaker 2: I is that we talk often, you know, and we

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Speaker 2: know that people are listening, and we know that we're

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Speaker 2: affecting people with our words. But this is the first

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Speaker 2: time we've seen it in intangible form this way, and

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Speaker 2: it's it was It's fucking it was amazing. One of

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Speaker 2: the things that like really set the tone for me

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Speaker 2: is on the day day one, everyone comes in, they

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Speaker 2: get roomed.

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Speaker 1: We had some fine niggas there.

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Speaker 2: Oiled down because it's us and that's what we would

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Speaker 2: expect and what so we shout out to Gilly, shout

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Speaker 2: out to Gilly the God and organic Zach.

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Speaker 1: We hired the finest men in Puerto to be oiled

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Speaker 1: down in ladies, sweep and pass out joints and light

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Speaker 1: them for all the ladies upon arrival, and also give

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Speaker 1: shoulder and head massages to all the ladies while we

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Speaker 1: went through you know, some of the rules, not rules,

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Speaker 1: but just things they should know before going into their

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Speaker 1: rooms and getting their roommates.

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Speaker 2: One of the biggest rules of the retreat was no apologizing.

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Speaker 2: We took that from mel and like the most beautiful

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Speaker 2: thing is, we took a lot of things from a

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Speaker 2: lot of our experiences, a lot of our interviews, and

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Speaker 2: we put implemented them in this retreat and it was

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Speaker 2: fucking amazing. But after that we had a group musical

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Speaker 2: massage in the yoga shalla. It was a night experience

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Speaker 2: that I don't think me and Erica really we had

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Speaker 2: never experienced this, but Alessandra, the owner of Sonora, really

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Speaker 2: reassured us that we should let this ride and just

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Speaker 2: do it. And I'm really glad she did. So we

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Speaker 2: all join under this open air yoga shalla in the

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Speaker 2: middle of the jungle that's lit by candles, and there

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Speaker 2: was maybe like seven practitioners all wearing white, and a

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Speaker 2: live drummer and live musicians playing, and the people came

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Speaker 2: around randomly and played different interestment instruments close to our faces,

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Speaker 2: gongs on our bellies, we had, we experienced head massages

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Speaker 2: and feet rubs.

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Speaker 1: It was basically like sensual musical therapy.

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Speaker 2: And as soon as it began, it started to drizzle immediately,

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Speaker 2: so we all kind of rush into the yoga shaala

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Speaker 2: and pitch black outside. You hear the noises of nature,

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Speaker 2: only crickets and you know, all the all of the

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Speaker 2: wildlife in the jungle, and about twenty minutes in it

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Speaker 2: just begins to pour. And for some reason, I just

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Speaker 2: like all the hairs on my arms stood up because

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Speaker 2: it just felt like the jungle was letting us know

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Speaker 2: that they knew we were here, and they were like

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Speaker 2: they were opening their arms to us.

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Speaker 1: It just felt super magical. I'm like, damn, what the fuck.

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Speaker 2: It was like hot, not raining at all, and then

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Speaker 2: boom poores and then as soon as the massage ended

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Speaker 2: ended no rain. So like that was the first indication

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Speaker 2: that like we were in synchronicity with nature, and this

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Speaker 2: retreat was like about to be more mystical than I

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Speaker 2: think we had accounted for. For me, that's what I

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Speaker 2: was thinking while I was laying there.

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Speaker 1: For sure, I mean I felt the same I felt

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Speaker 1: the same way. I think that, and I think that

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Speaker 1: nature continued to show us that throughout the retreat, you know,

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Speaker 1: being in Costa Rica and you know, doing this retreat.

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Speaker 1: I think also we really began to understood how feminine

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Speaker 1: the space is, just that the jungle is a woman,

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Speaker 1: that mother Nature obviously is a woman. Ocean, all the

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Speaker 1: water around us. There was a lot of feminine energy,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's why, unbeknownst to me, why I

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Speaker 1: felt why I do feel so connected to Costa Rica.

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Speaker 1: But now it makes more sense really understanding that, and

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Speaker 1: it makes perfect sense, and it is a testament to

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Speaker 1: me and Mila's alignment and all the things that we

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Speaker 1: do that that is exactly the perfect place for this retreat,

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Speaker 1: and it was the perfect space for this retreat, especially

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Speaker 1: obviously being a woman's retreat and just knowing to after

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Speaker 1: the first retreat was over, just how important it is

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Speaker 1: for women to come together how important it is for

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Speaker 1: women to really tap into that femininity in a way

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Speaker 1: that feels safe, that has nothing to do with the

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Speaker 1: masculine at all. And I think that kind of that

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Speaker 1: theme just kept showing up, even by accident, even like

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Speaker 1: going to the Breebrie, which is like an indigenous is

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Speaker 1: the indigenous land in Costa Rica, which was our date

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Speaker 1: was that day three experience. Yeah, and learning about their

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Speaker 1: culture and how you know, how they revere the woman

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Speaker 1: and their culture, which I had no idea. I just

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Speaker 1: think like the sacred feminine just kept coming up over

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Speaker 1: and over and over, even without us being intentional about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think not only just the sacred feminine,

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Speaker 2: but like you said, being in an environment that is

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Speaker 2: very feminine. I think we submitted to the elements a

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Speaker 2: lot during this retreat, and I don't think that was

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Speaker 2: even very much intentional, Like obviously we knew were like

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Speaker 2: come to the jungle and take off your shoes.

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Speaker 1: But I think that.

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Speaker 2: Us just being in flow with the elements, with the fire,

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Speaker 2: with the water, with the earth, with the ocean. Like,

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Speaker 2: I think that giving women the opportunity to not only

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Speaker 2: let down their guard, but to be amongst women that

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Speaker 2: they could trust and feel safe with and to be

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Speaker 2: in flow with the with the land. You know, there

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Speaker 2: was no time like the welcome speech was welcome bitches,

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Speaker 2: you're in the j and there's going to be bugs

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Speaker 2: and animals and shit.

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Speaker 1: Get used to it.

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Speaker 2: There's no flushing shit down the toilet, you know, like

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Speaker 2: it really, you know, in America, we're so hustle bustle,

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Speaker 2: we're so wearing shoes, were so really wound up tightly

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Speaker 2: that we forget that we are a product of our environment,

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Speaker 2: we're a product of the earth, and that we kind

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Speaker 2: of have to like remove all that shit to kind

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Speaker 2: of get back to ourselves.

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Speaker 1: And it was.

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Speaker 2: It was really that, you know, there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: naked dancing, there's a lot of skinny dipping. It was

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Speaker 2: a lot of howling at the moon that was on

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Speaker 2: my request. There was a lot of just freedom, I

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Speaker 2: think I felt. I never I never realized how much

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Speaker 2: women really need as safe space to just be women

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Speaker 2: without the gaze of judgment of a man of judgment,

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Speaker 2: just to be naked and free, without being like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you're doing that for attention or you just want to

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Speaker 2: be naked. It was really like, oh, look at her.

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Speaker 2: It was really just like, come and do whatever the

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Speaker 2: fuck you want, this is the place to do it.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't realize that. During our journey, Eric and

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Speaker 2: I have really given each other permission to be ourselves

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Speaker 2: and that has really pushed the podcast, just being transparent

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Speaker 2: and feeling safe within each other. But when we opened

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Speaker 2: up that space to the women to also feel safe

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Speaker 2: and just come as they.

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Speaker 1: Were, it like magic happened.

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Speaker 2: Like a collective women collectively opening up and saying I'm

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Speaker 2: willing to be vulnerable and I'm here open, I don't

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Speaker 2: know anyone else here. Something really magical happened. I think

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Speaker 2: when we're open to the experiences and we just let

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Speaker 2: our guards down as women, when you're in alignment, you

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Speaker 2: allow the magic to come in. And that really showed

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Speaker 2: up for us in this retreat.

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Speaker 1: For sure. I think that I just want to shout

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Speaker 1: out all the ladies who came out from both retreats,

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Speaker 1: Retreat one and Retreat two. You guys are og retreaters

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Speaker 1: and I fucking love them. I fucking liething. We love

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Speaker 1: all of you, and we had such an incredible time

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Speaker 1: and I'm so incredibly proud of you guys. Because most

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Speaker 1: of you came alone, which honestly, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I would have the balls to do. Now I do

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Speaker 1: because I'm like wow, And that's something that I've learned

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Speaker 1: from them, is like, Wow, look out, look at all

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Speaker 1: these women that just said, fuck it, I'm gonna take

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Speaker 1: a chance. I'm going to go to the jungle. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to fly into San Jose voyage four and a

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Speaker 1: half hours into the jungle to some jungle retreat center

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Speaker 1: with two women I've never met, maybe just listened to

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Speaker 1: on the podcast. Some of you, some of them don't

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Speaker 1: even listen to the podcast, just found us on Instagram

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Speaker 1: searching Costa Rica and trust that everything is going to

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Speaker 1: be okay. And you guys did that, and that shit

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Speaker 1: is that shit's amazing. And so I think I think

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Speaker 1: that because they came in that way, there was a

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Speaker 1: level of openness that that that each woman had that

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Speaker 1: maybe in any other scenario might not have happened, Like

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Speaker 1: if we had a retreat or like a meetup some

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Speaker 1: like in New York or something, or like a meetup

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Speaker 1: somewhere in their city, like the openness wouldn't be that way.

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Speaker 1: Even just just the idea too, that you're going to

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Speaker 1: be rooming with a stranger, and that you're trusting us

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Speaker 1: to make the best choice for you. And I think

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Speaker 1: that that was something that too. When we were planning

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Speaker 1: this retreat, I knew that they're coming, like, these women

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Speaker 1: are coming because they want to be taken care of

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Speaker 1: like and I wanted to take care of them. I

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Speaker 1: wanted them to not have to think too much. I

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Speaker 1: wanted us to set the room up properly, you know,

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Speaker 1: really be intentional about the people that we pair them with.

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Speaker 1: And honestly, we don't. I don't want to say I

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Speaker 1: don't know how, but the rooming situations were so divine

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Speaker 1: and a lot of those women are real friends now,

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Speaker 1: and so many women came up to me and was like,

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Speaker 1: I love my fucking roommate. Oh my god, How did

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Speaker 1: you know that I needed this woman? And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I just me. And when me and Mila were going

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Speaker 1: you should have seen our room we had, Like it

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Speaker 1: was it was like making the band. We like printed

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Speaker 1: out all these pictures and were like, okay, so she's

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Speaker 1: an Aquarius and she's a Gemini, Douteius and Gemini. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what about Scorpio Pisces.

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Speaker 4: Yep, that's going well, I'm cancer, you're a scorpio, so

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Speaker 4: they're probably getting lost. I don't know this age difference

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Speaker 4: is maybe I don't know that she looks like she

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Speaker 4: would like her. But like, just like we trust trust

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Speaker 4: the process and so much of the things that we do,

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Speaker 4: we trusted the process with that and literally spirit came

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Speaker 4: through and was like yep, yep, yep, yep. And even

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Speaker 4: where things got a little bit off and things had

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Speaker 4: to change last minute, it still was the perfect fit.

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Speaker 1: And I think too, it was so interesting to see

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Speaker 1: how these women showed up and then how they left

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Speaker 1: because each and everyone was changed in different even looked

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Speaker 1: different physically in different ways. Like there's one woman that

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Speaker 1: was there who I don't remember how she found us,

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Speaker 1: the doctor. I think that she just found us online.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I think she And she's a little

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Speaker 1: she's she's religious and she was actually gonna come with

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Speaker 1: a friend and her friend was like I read I

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Speaker 1: guess read the itinerary and one of the things said

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Speaker 1: like self worship dance and she was like, m no,

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Speaker 1: like that's not that's not gonna work. I think Mela

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Speaker 1: even had a call with her, not the friend, but

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Speaker 1: had to call with her before she booked, and Meila

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Speaker 1: had said, like, yeah, we're gonna do some witchy shit

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Speaker 1: or witchy dinner, and She's like, yeah, I probably won't

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Speaker 1: be involved in the witchy dinner, and Mila was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: not witchy like witch but like magical like night theory.

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Speaker 1: It's just interesting to know, like, first of all, how

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Speaker 1: certain words trigger people and make them like you know,

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Speaker 1: make them uncomfortable, which is is good, but also like

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Speaker 1: I think was a learning experience to us of like

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Speaker 1: how to talk about certain things without putting a bad

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Speaker 1: taste in people's mouth and letting them come in and

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Speaker 1: see it for themselves so they can better understand what

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Speaker 1: it means. And that person in particular when she she

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Speaker 1: was kind of quiet throughout the whole retreat, but at

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Speaker 1: the end of the retreat, like to see her transformation blowing.

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Speaker 1: She literally like came in like looking a little like sad,

350
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Speaker 1: little tired.

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Speaker 2: Just like wound tightly, just like kind of observing, which

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Speaker 2: is fair. Everyone's like, what the fuck am I getting

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Speaker 2: myself into? But yeah, like just to see people like

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Speaker 2: kind of like really blossom and open up in a

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Speaker 2: way throughout.

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Speaker 1: The six days.

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Speaker 2: And that's the thing I think we realized too. I

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Speaker 2: don't think we realized it until it actually took place,

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Speaker 2: but the entire like, obviously it's relaxing, obviously it's fun,

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Speaker 2: but we did some real work on these retreats. And

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Speaker 2: the work that we did, I would like to say

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Speaker 2: this was like an intensive therapeutic experience because it wasn't

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Speaker 2: just one day or the last day. You know, we

364
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Speaker 2: did work every almost every day. They were workshops and

365
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Speaker 2: not in a way that felt like you had to

366
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Speaker 2: do homework, but it was just like spiritual work. It

367
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Speaker 2: was self work, it was work of reflecting, it was

368
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Speaker 2: a work of releasing. And I hadn't realized how much

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Speaker 2: women need to release. We hold so much in. You know,

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Speaker 2: we're responsible for so many people, respond we have so

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Speaker 2: many responsibilities. We've all experienced a lot of pain. We've

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Speaker 2: all experienced hurt, disappointment, just loss, and there's rarely a

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Speaker 2: space where you can just release that, you know, and

374
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Speaker 2: not have to worry about how you look or if

375
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Speaker 2: you're doing too much or you know, what it feels

376
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Speaker 2: like or so I felt like we were given this

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Speaker 2: unique opportunity to mother women and give them the tools

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Speaker 2: to mother themselves.

379
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Speaker 1: And it really was an.

380
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Speaker 2: Intensive, therapeutic week long vacation and it was beautiful.

381
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Speaker 1: It was really beautiful. I also, I guess I didn't

382
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Speaker 1: I think I know this just based on the podcast

383
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Speaker 1: how well I've gotten this feeling, but it really became clear.

384
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Speaker 1: And I think I had this conversation with you a

385
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Speaker 1: few times throughout the retreat, is that women don't trust women,

386
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Speaker 1: and women a lot of these women like we get

387
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Speaker 1: hit up all the time when we talk about like,

388
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Speaker 1: you know, build your tribe and women saying I don't

389
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Speaker 1: have a tribe in my city, Like I don't know

390
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Speaker 1: how to find a tribe, I don't know how to begin,

391
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Speaker 1: I don't have my Rika Tomaimila. I don't fuck with bitches,

392
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Speaker 1: I don't fuck with I don't fuck with women. And

393
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Speaker 1: we had a few of those on the retreat. And

394
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Speaker 1: I think that women need permission for first of all,

395
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Speaker 1: women need permission period for some reason. I mean not

396
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Speaker 1: not for some reason because society makes us feel that way,

397
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Speaker 1: but like women need permission to release. But I think

398
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Speaker 1: women needed the people that came on this retreat, I

399
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Speaker 1: feel like really needed to re instill their trust in women,

400
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Speaker 1: and I think that that's what this retreat did for

401
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Speaker 1: so many of the women. There was like, oh my god,

402
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 1: there are women out here for me. Oh my god,

403
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: there is a woman that I can trust. There is

404
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: a woman that I can be vulnerable with. I'm gonna

405
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 1: let go of whoever hurt me and allow these women

406
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: to be the new people in my life. I think

407
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: a lot of these women too are We'll be friends

408
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: far beyond this retreat. And for those of you who

409
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 1: don't have friends, who don't have women in your life,

410
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 1: this is what I've realized is like these type of

411
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 1: spaces are so even more crucial for you, Like it's

412
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Speaker 1: so important. And I realized how important it is for

413
00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 1: females to be friends, how important it is if you're

414
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: a woman that's like, fuck, bitches, I don't fuck with women.

415
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 1: You really need to You need to reanalyze that, because

416
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: it's not serving you at all. We apse of fuckolutely

417
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:43,720
Speaker 1: need each other.

418
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Speaker 2: This was a real testament of that, Like just the

419
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 2: power of women supporting women and empowering women, how it

420
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 2: can shift the dynamic of everything, how you feel, how

421
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: you manifest, the things you're calling in. Like the power

422
00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 2: of the feminine in general is so fucking powerful. When

423
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 2: it's combined in a supportive and loving way, it is

424
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 2: it just exceeds the like it just it really covers

425
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 2: you in love. It's like a very It was a

426
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 2: very spiritual experience to see these relationships blossom, to see

427
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 2: the relationships that I made, to see like, you know, shout.

428
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Speaker 1: Out to Malia and d from DC.

429
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Speaker 2: She was like, my sister told me to come, she said.

430
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Speaker 2: She got on the bus and she was like, Oh no,

431
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,879
Speaker 2: they're gonna find out. I'm not earthy.

432
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Speaker 1: I just like to smoke weed.

433
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Speaker 2: So and you know, one thing Maliah said was that

434
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Speaker 2: this was experienced was like speed dating for friends. That's

435
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 2: what she said. This was like speed dating for friends.

436
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,439
Speaker 2: And I felt that because I was like, how am

437
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 2: I gonna remember all these women's names, remember every single

438
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 2: woman's name and like and have a relationship with them

439
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 2: and have friendships with them and the fuck with them

440
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 2: and know.

441
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 1: Who they are and like it.

442
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 2: Just even if you came in with this idea of

443
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,920
Speaker 2: judgment or like, oh, may not fuck with that person.

444
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 2: They're from here, all that person's this this for that's

445
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 2: I'm older, that person's young, like you did not leave

446
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,199
Speaker 2: with that same attitude because A we checked it, but

447
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 2: B we continued to check it and see. We reminded

448
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 2: everyone that we're all here and seek seeking something and

449
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 2: it kind of really just brought everyone down to the

450
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 2: same level and we were just just they are really

451
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: open to experience shit, there's no judgment. Was not like,

452
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 2: oh look where she's over there doing when her titt's

453
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 2: at at the pool. It was like, everybody's titties are

454
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 2: out at the pool and yours don't have to be,

455
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 2: but don't you want There's no nothing to be said

456
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 2: about anyone else's titties being out. It was like truly,

457
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 2: truly truly a safe space. Before we went, was like

458
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 2: how do we how do we get women to trust women?

459
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: Do we feed them fruit? I was do we float

460
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 2: them in the ocean? I was like, I don't know

461
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 2: if we're going to float them in the ocean Erica

462
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 2: or feed them fruit, they're gonna think we're lesbians.

463
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 1: But at one point during the retreat there was another.

464
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: Woman who I could tell during our zoom meetings was like,

465
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 2: oh shit, what have I gotten myself into? And there

466
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 2: was a point like deep into the Red Tree, she

467
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 2: was like rushing to the yoga shalla to go get

468
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 2: a massage. It was her birthday and she's like, damn,

469
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 2: I didn't eat. I was like, you want me to

470
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 2: go get your fruit? She was like yes, please, and

471
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 2: I was like sure, So I went and got the

472
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 2: fruit from the kitchen and then she was laying on

473
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 2: her massage bed and I was just like, you want

474
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 2: me to feed it to you?

475
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: I thought about Erica. She's like, will you?

476
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,919
Speaker 2: And I was just like feeding her fruit while she

477
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 2: was laying on the bed naked about to get a massage,

478
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 2: and she was just smiling, and I was like, Erica

479
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 2: was right, we needed to feed the bitches fruit.

480
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: This is how you build trust. Well yeah, I mean

481
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: I was, I mean, I don't know. I mean I guess, yes, yes,

482
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 1: I wish I could. I wish I could say that.

483
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: I totally knew that. But it was symbolic.

484
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 2: It was symbolic of just being able to nurture a

485
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 2: woman without it being weird or or like I think

486
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 2: even in our regular friendship sometimes you're like you have

487
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 2: friends for so long, You're like you can't be like

488
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 2: cuddle me, you know what EVE mean? Like you when

489
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 2: you have friendships for a long time, you almost forget

490
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 2: to be like delicate with them. You forget to be like,

491
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 2: it's easier to be delicate with someone you just met

492
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 2: because you I don't know what it is like, whereas

493
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 2: other people you've had, you have this hard exterior up

494
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 2: and so you're kind of like, I'm good, I'm cool,

495
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 2: I don't need this. But in this space, I I

496
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 2: really understood the assignment of women need to feel cared for.

497
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 2: And I and I and I realize Erica and ice

498
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 2: friendship is not run of the mill. It's not like

499
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 2: all the time you find a friendship like this. Me

500
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: and Erica are very platonically lesbian. We're always loving on

501
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 2: each other, We're always you know, affirming each other. We

502
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 2: have we've had the gift of recognizing it and continuing

503
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 2: that theme in that thread throughoutur relationship. And so it

504
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 2: really gave us the opportunity to like extend that to

505
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 2: other people.

506
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 1: And it was really beautiful.

507
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: You know.

508
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: I felt the trust raise, I felt people.

509
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 2: Be vulnerable, and that's what we told them when they came, like,

510
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 2: if you need to cry, that's fine. This is not

511
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 2: a place to hold back, to hold back and in fact.

512
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 1: You know none of these bitches, so you have nothing

513
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 1: to lose. You have nothing to lose.

514
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 2: And I think that was the big like everyone kind

515
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 2: of realized, oh shit, I don't have anything to lose,

516
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: coming in and just letting it go, letting dropping all

517
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 2: of the bag and letting off the guards. And and

518
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 2: I think I think that when me and Mila were

519
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 2: kind of dissecting our friendship and trying to understand what

520
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,679
Speaker 2: we what we were going to contribute to this, to

521
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: this retreat as far as like you know, we had

522
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 2: a we had our own workshop, our first workshop ever,

523
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 2: and we were a bit nervous. But then I really

524
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 2: started thinking about like what are what is what are

525
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 2: the foundation of our friendship? Like how did we feel

526
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 2: comfortable sharing? How did we feel vulnerable so quickly?

527
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: How did we feel like, wow, I can trust this person?

528
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: And like it was it was a level of feeling

529
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 1: like cared for by one another. It was a level

530
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: of like I don't have shit to lose. I don't

531
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: know this bitch. I'm just gonna ask or whatever the

532
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: fuck I feel like asking her, and she's going to

533
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: answer because she doesn't have shit to lose. I think

534
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 1: just using our friendship as the basis of how we

535
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: can get these women to connect, and actually that kind

536
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: of we didn't necessarily have this whole thing wrapped up

537
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: in a pretty bow. When we were in that musical massage,

538
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: like all of it kind of really came together for

539
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 1: me because I was thinking how audio has been such

540
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: a crucial part of our evolution, and how for me

541
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: music and for everyone I think music is such it's

542
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: something that is nostalgic, it's something that's comforting, it's something

543
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 1: that tells a story. And I was thinking, like, what

544
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: is it that? What is it actually that made me

545
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 1: feel safe enough to share some of the most intimate

546
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: parts of my life with you, And a lot of

547
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: that was I didn't know you. A lot of that

548
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: was you being vulnerable with me early on and not

549
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: holding back gave me the space to feel like I

550
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: can share that with you. And then I think a

551
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: lot of that too was me. I didn't realize who

552
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: was listening on the podcast I was really talking to,

553
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 1: and it was like I was talking to an empty

554
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 1: room essentially because I didn't think anybody was listening. So

555
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: I felt safe to do that, and I was because

556
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: I know that like, I'm not as open as Mila,

557
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: like I'm not that's not And I realized that most

558
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 1: people aren't, you know, like and so how was I

559
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: going to get How are we going to get women

560
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: that don't know each other that came out here from

561
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: a foreign like came to a foreign country, are rooming

562
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: with strangers to feel vulnerable enough to just open up quickly.

563
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: We only have five days to get these bitches to

564
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: be besties. Were able to marry our friendship, our foundation

565
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: of audio and feeling like no one's listening to equal

566
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 1: vulnerability for these women. And by the end of our workshop,

567
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: women were crying and sharing some of the most intimate

568
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: details of their life with each other and embracing and

569
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: that really set the tone for the rest of the retreat,

570
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: and I think gave women the opportunity to connect in

571
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 1: a way that they would never I think a lot

572
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: of these women in their daily life, had they met

573
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: each other, they would be haters. Some of them would

574
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: hate on each other. Not to say, like, you know,

575
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: if you're listening you were at the retreat, I'm not

576
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: calling you a hater, but I'm just saying, like, there

577
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: was a level of vulnerability and judgment that didn't exist

578
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 1: because of where we were, because you had to surrender

579
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: because you had no choice. You couldn't just pack up

580
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: and leave.

581
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: You couldn't close someone you're comfortable with you. You were

582
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 2: there alone, and it was like, damn, I could do

583
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 2: this or I could not, but everyone's doing it, and

584
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 2: it really wouldn't serve me not to. I think also,

585
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 2: I think one of the things that came up during this,

586
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 2: you know, this initial workshop, was just that it just

587
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 2: became very clear. So obviously, of course I incorporated Mila's

588
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 2: moans because it's super important, but it made me realize

589
00:30:56,080 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 2: just immediately how much people needed to cry scream, even

590
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 2: if we didn't know where the root of their pain

591
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: was coming from. You can hear your neighbors screaming, and

592
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: you felt her pain. And I think that one of

593
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: the first things I realized is like, we all have shit. So,

594
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,239
Speaker 2: you know, I've been on this deodorant journey because I

595
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 2: absolutely refuse to wear deodorant that has aluminum or anything toxic,

596
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 2: and I have very sensitive armpits and sometimes a very

597
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 2: strong scent.

598
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: I know, and a lot of times these natural deodorants

599
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: don't cut the scent don't cut the sweat, but that's

600
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 1: why I love Native. Have you ever tried Native? Yes?

601
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 2: I love Native, actually used yours and then now I'm stuck.

602
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 1: I told you, And my favorite scent is the coconut

603
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: and vanilla. They also have lavender, rose, cucumber, and mint.

604
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: Their scent pairings are pretty bomb and they actually.

605
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 2: Work, So right now is the time to make the

606
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 2: switch from an anti perspriant to Native. When you visit

607
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,560
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608
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 2: maybe even try out some of their body moisturizers and

609
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 2: washes while you're at it.

610
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: Smell and feel fresh all day long with Native. Get

611
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,719
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612
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:13,880
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613
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:19,440
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614
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615
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,160
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616
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,959
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if you want to judge. We all

617
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 2: are hurting in some way. We've all been hurt, and

618
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 2: like that common thread of just feelings and emotions and

619
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 2: just having to to process them was I think what

620
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 2: kind of initially cracked the shit open because it reminded

621
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 2: you that everybody is dealing with shit. You know, when

622
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 2: you share with someone, you don't know that, and even

623
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 2: if you wanted to judge them initially, when you are

624
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 2: blindfolded and then just hear their true feelings, then you remember,

625
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: like other human just like me. They're women just like me,

626
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: and they're dealing with shit that I have no idea about.

627
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: And it reminds you to kind of let your fucking

628
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 2: ego down and kind.

629
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: Of just come to each other, women to women. You know.

630
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: After we completed Retreat one, which was incredible, I fucking

631
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 1: literally there was a moment I went into the ocean

632
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: and I fucking cried by myself for like five minutes

633
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: because I couldn't believe that this is my this is

634
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: what I'm doing. I was like, what the fuck? This

635
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: is my job. I'm in Costa Rica with twenty plus women,

636
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 1: showing them this beautiful beach that I've been on with

637
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: my best friend with my kid, and now I'm back

638
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: bringing these women here getting paid to do it, but

639
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: also like beyond getting paid, like helping them heal something anything,

640
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: whether it's the tiniest thing, and also healing myself while

641
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. I just couldn't believe it. I was like,

642
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: how did this happen? How did I do this? And

643
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: it's and then I was thinking like, well, and I

644
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: know we talked about manifesting all the time, but like

645
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 1: early on in our podcasting journey, me and Mila, I

646
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 1: think we were looking at like different people's instagrams and

647
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 1: feeling like less than and like comparing ourselves and like,

648
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: I remember, there's this one girl, what's her instagram my

649
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: epiphany If you guys follow her, She's always traveling with

650
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 1: her child, living in the best fucking life, amazing photos,

651
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 1: looking bomb ass fuck all the time. And I was like,

652
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 1: how the fuck do I do this? How the fuck

653
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,320
Speaker 1: do I travel and like do cool shit and get paid.

654
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 1: I was like, I really want to do this, we

655
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 1: want to do this. How do I do this? And

656
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: I kind of like left it behind in the back

657
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 1: of my mind. But like that's the thing about manifesting.

658
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: It's like, yes, it's intentional and stuff, but sometimes it's

659
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: like you saying it out loud, planting the seating you're

660
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 1: subconscious and letting your conscious work on it, whether or

661
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: not you even realize you're actually working towards that. And

662
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 1: then I realized when I was in that water, I

663
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, like I did it. How

664
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: the fuck did I do it? I did it. I

665
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: did it on my own terms, though, Like I'm doing

666
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: it on my own terms, and I just couldn't believe it.

667
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: And then seeing Retreat one happened and then seeing Retreat

668
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 1: two happen, you know, there it was a totally it

669
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 1: was totally two different groups of women. Like Retreat one,

670
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: a lot of healing happened, a lot of fun happened.

671
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: Retreat to a lot of work was being done, a

672
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 1: lot of healing work had to be done. This group

673
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 1: was heavier emotionally.

674
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 2: They were holding on to more things. And you know,

675
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 2: I think like Eric and I, we know, like we're

676
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 2: aware of our power in some ways, but like we

677
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 2: talk on the mic and then it's out in the

678
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 2: ether and we go home, you know, and of course

679
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 2: we get like DMS. We readed the reviews, but there

680
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 2: was a point on the retreat and we were talking,

681
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 2: so shout out to Jesse for coming and bringing coming

682
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 2: with the shits. But we're like our friend, one of

683
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 2: our friends also divine fucking alignment just happened to be

684
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 2: in Costa Rica finishing another retreat the day that the

685
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,799
Speaker 2: second group came, jumped on the bus with them, just

686
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 2: took a whim, came impromptu to the retreat and really

687
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 2: set shit off. I think we really needed her. I

688
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 2: don't think again, Erica and I knew what we were doing,

689
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,800
Speaker 2: but I don't think we recognize the amount of work

690
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 2: that was going to be being done and how much

691
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 2: space we were going to be holding. And at one

692
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 2: point we were talking like, oh yeah, she was on

693
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 2: the show to the girls. Some of the girls and

694
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: never even listened to the show, but I remember two

695
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 2: girls saying like, oh yeah, I remember I was in

696
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 2: the supermarket, and another girl saying, oh yeah, I do

697
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:27,800
Speaker 2: remember this episode.

698
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: I was at work, and.

699
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,919
Speaker 2: It just dawned on me, like wow, like all every

700
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 2: week we do these things and they're being received in

701
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 2: real time with real people all over the world, and

702
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 2: it just really put in perspective how much like how

703
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 2: much our words have helped people, how much like our

704
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 2: words are being received by women, And I don't know,

705
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: there was just a real wave for me of understanding

706
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,479
Speaker 2: of my own power and like I'm a friendly bitch.

707
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 2: You know. I said this all the time, and I

708
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: do a lot of talking and a lot of like,

709
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 2: I'm very empathetic and sometimes you know, growing up, I'm like, bitch,

710
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: you've got to stop loving everyone. But in this work,

711
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 2: it really made me realize like, oh, this is what

712
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,760
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to be doing. This is where my where

713
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 2: the empathy and the love and the connection, my deep

714
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: connections with everybody actually makes sense. I've been preparing for

715
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 2: this moment. I've been preparing to love on women. I've

716
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 2: been preparing for to cultivate sisterhoods. I've been preparing to

717
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 2: project my like my gifts in this way. And it

718
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 2: was just so deeply like it felt like like like,

719
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 2: I know, we've been doing this shit for four years,

720
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 2: but it felt like, oh, like it all kind of

721
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 2: like came together. It made sense, you know, like this

722
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 2: is the work that you've been doing. Sometimes we're talking talking, talking,

723
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 2: talking our shit, talking about our sex, and it just

724
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: seems like funny in a joke, and it is, but

725
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 2: there's been real work done to arrive at this point.

726
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 2: And when you see it cultivate amongst a group of

727
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,280
Speaker 2: women that are coming from all different places. It really really,

728
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 2: it really makes a difference. Like I'm like, oh shit,

729
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 2: I am a healer, you know, oh should I do

730
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 2: have this power to open up and in turn other

731
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 2: people will open up too.

732
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: For sure. I mean, I think it definitely affirmed that

733
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,320
Speaker 1: for me as well, like what my powers are and

734
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 1: what I can contribute to this world and what I've

735
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: already contributed, and that I don't have to worry, and

736
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: to go back to your affirmation about like I am

737
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 1: safe because of me. I think that this retreat was

738
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: a testament to that, that being able to complete it,

739
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: being able to execute it, being able to just do

740
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: it overall. And it had nothing to do with anybody else,

741
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: had nothing to do with a man, It had nothing

742
00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: to do with you know, anything, anyone doing us any favors. Yes,

743
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: and that people came. It was like you put out

744
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 1: the call and people come and it let me. It

745
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: just reaffirmed that we can do anything, you know, we

746
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: can do anything, and that we do we have a response,

747
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 1: We do have a great responsibility because people do listen.

748
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,360
Speaker 1: People are listening. People are listening weekly, whether it's funny

749
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 1: or not. Like it's affecting them in one way. Or

750
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: another good or bad, hopefully only good. And it's a

751
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: responsibility that I happily take on. It's a responsibility that

752
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 1: I love and accept.

753
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 2: It felt like the universe was saying, you know, we've

754
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 2: been talking about there being like an awakening of thee

755
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 2: of women in this time. We've talked about this a lot,

756
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 2: talking about there being attack on free women, that there's

757
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 2: being an awaken awakening of women, that there's a something

758
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 2: happening where a lot of women are coming together.

759
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: And this was just like.

760
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 2: I felt the call be put out, and it was like,

761
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:14,879
Speaker 2: we need to re establish the sacred feminine and here

762
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 2: you go.

763
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: That and death that for sure also and reaffirming the

764
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: sacred feminine. How masculine we are as women, How we've

765
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 1: taken on so much masculine energy because we have had to,

766
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: especially mothers, especially single mothers, who you know, have to

767
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 1: figure it out even more so in ways and have to,

768
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: you know, just take on a lot of the responsibility

769
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: that is masculine and you know that independent woman per

770
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 1: se that really and even we were having this conversation

771
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: with this woman that we met towards the end of

772
00:40:55,040 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 1: our trip, and she was saying, how the how women

773
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: have forgotten to and it made me think of Daphne

774
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: and The Soft Woman. If you haven't listened to that episode,

775
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: it's called The Soft Woman featuring Daphne Wayne's. Most of

776
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,280
Speaker 1: you hated that episode because she basically was saying how

777
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 1: there needs to be a return of a softer side

778
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 1: of women, that we need to not essentially submit to

779
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 1: our man, but like be softer for our man, and

780
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: at that time I really did not agree. Now looking

781
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: back two years later and seeing where we're at even

782
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:33,280
Speaker 1: in feminism, how feminism itself has a lot of masculine

783
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 1: energy in it. And the woman that I was talking to,

784
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: Costa Rica, she was saying how the feminine, the feminist

785
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:43,240
Speaker 1: movement was has been very detrimental to the sacred feminine

786
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: because it has removed a lot of femininity and made

787
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: us have to move into this more masculine space where

788
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: we have to prove our femininity and be aggressive and

789
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: fight the good fight, and left this space of like

790
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 1: real true femininity empty and like looking down on the

791
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: woman who you know is happy, wants to just be

792
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 1: just be a mother. And I'm guilty of that. I'm

793
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,359
Speaker 1: guilty of like being super masculine. I feel like i've here.

794
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 1: I hear it all the time too from men that

795
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: I emasculate them, and I probably do. I probably do

796
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: because I've had to take on so many roles and

797
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 1: I don't have my patient sys. Then I don't have

798
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: the time. Even if I do, I don't want to

799
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 1: take the time and reaffirming that or reminding me that

800
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 1: it's okay, it's okay to just be feminine. It's okay too,

801
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: you know, just really tap into just that and that

802
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: me being an independent woman doesn't mean that I have

803
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 1: to take on this role of I got I got

804
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: to handle everything by myself. I got to do it

805
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: all by myself. I got to carry all this shit

806
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 1: by myself. Still, it's a balancing act because like now

807
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm back and I'm back into the swing of things,

808
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 1: I'm back to the reality of life. If I'm back

809
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 1: to the reality that yep, I'm a single mom, still

810
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,720
Speaker 1: still here being single, and like, how do I balance

811
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 1: this new found femininity with the reality of my life,

812
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: and that is that I am playing many roles. I

813
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: am also playing the role of father and at times

814
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: with my daughter and not to diminish her father's role,

815
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, like I am taking on that role

816
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 1: sometimes and how do I balance that with me wanting

817
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: to feel feminine all the time?

818
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 2: And and then something like really magical. I don't know magical.

819
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: I think.

820
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 2: When you are making space for things, when you're when

821
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,720
Speaker 2: you're encouraging women to let go of things and peel

822
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:56,240
Speaker 2: back layers. And you know, we had a manifestation dinner

823
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 2: and like asking to call on the things that you

824
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,439
Speaker 2: want and asking women to kind of come in terms

825
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 2: of the things that they've been holding on too.

826
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: They need to let go of.

827
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 2: I think a lot of times in our daily lives,

828
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 2: we're holding onto stuff and just doing.

829
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: Doing, doing.

830
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 2: We're not even recognizing that it's layering the hardness on.

831
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: It's just pasting it on, pasting it on more and

832
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 2: more because we're just in survival mode. You know, you

833
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 2: have to get shit done, you have to feed the kids, you.

834
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 1: Have to wash clothes.

835
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 2: It's just like every day happens, you forget about yourself,

836
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 2: you forget that you've put all these heavy things on you.

837
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 2: And you know, in week one, probably by like day three,

838
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:37,760
Speaker 2: women started to get sick and I became extremely scared.

839
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, bitches are getting sick.

840
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,399
Speaker 2: And the weird thing was, no, we all were eating

841
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 2: the same meals and people were in separate, different rooms

842
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 2: getting sick. It just wasn't making sense. And I was like,

843
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 2: I just I don't want anyone to be sick.

844
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 1: We were when she says sick, I'm throwing up.

845
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 2: Throwing up like projectile, throwing up diarrhea like there is

846
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 2: it was. It became like a lot of people were

847
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 2: getting sick and then they'd be fine. So at one

848
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 2: point a Landra shout out to the island Bruha. She

849
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 2: was doing tarot readings, and she said to me, you know,

850
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 2: I realized people are getting sick.

851
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 1: You know, I want you to know.

852
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:18,919
Speaker 2: You guys are doing a lot of work and when

853
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,280
Speaker 2: you manifest things, you have to get rid of things

854
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: and it will come out physically. And it dawned on

855
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: me like, oh oh, I never thought about this emotional

856
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 2: work manifesting physically. So I was like, okay, And actually

857
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 2: that was the only thing I could make sense of.

858
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 1: It was nothing else was making sense.

859
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I hope nobody got COVID,

860
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 2: you know, like we're in this weird ass times. If

861
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 2: everyone anyone gets sick, it's a fucking the end of

862
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 2: the world. I'm like, I hope it's not the food,

863
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 2: and it wasn't. It was literally people were purging and

864
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 2: because the work we were doing, it was coming out physically.

865
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 2: You know when you come into a space and you

866
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 2: were just cracked open immediately and you're just like, fuck it,

867
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to release these things I've been holding on

868
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,720
Speaker 2: for years and months. Your body is almost in shock

869
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 2: by it. You know, when you've let things add up

870
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 2: and lie dormant and you're in your body and your emotions,

871
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 2: it will come up in your physical And like I said,

872
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:20,919
Speaker 2: it was a very intensive six days and it wasn't

873
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 2: like we were doing light work. We dug right the

874
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 2: fucking immediately. We didn't have a lot of time, and

875
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 2: you know, whereas Erica and I've had the opportunity to

876
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 2: kind of gradually tell our story, gradually come to terms

877
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,879
Speaker 2: with things, gradually release things. Every week, we've gradually said Okay,

878
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: now I feel more comfortable, I'm going to.

879
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: Let this go.

880
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 2: You know, I'm going to say this, But we kind

881
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 2: of just like cracked it open immediately, and you know,

882
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 2: by the last day, everybody was fine. Everybody was in

883
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 2: great spirits, everybody was healthy.

884
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: But you know what, it's even even when they weren't fine,

885
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 1: like it was almost like they were I was worried

886
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: that people were going to start flipping out, like I

887
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 1: need to go to the hospital. No one said that.

888
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 1: It's almost like everyone knew, regardless of what whether they

889
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: were aware of it, that they were they that they

890
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: had to kind of let it pass, and that they

891
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: had to just be cool with it, and that they

892
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 1: had to surrender. And there was even one girl that

893
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 1: she was like, when I was, I was throwing up

894
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: and I couldn't stop throwing up five in the morning,

895
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: at five in the morning, and something in me just

896
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 1: said surrender. And no, they said let it go, let

897
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: it go. And then when she did the next morning,

898
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 1: she was fine. And so you know, and and multiple

899
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 1: people too that are from Costa Rica were like, yeah,

900
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:29,720
Speaker 1: when you when you come to this land, be prepared

901
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 1: to get sick. There's people for you to have to

902
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 1: let shit go. You got a land, doesn't let you

903
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 1: hold on to shit on top of it. If you

904
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 1: are one of those women that are holding on to

905
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: a lot of masculine energy, all this feminine energy will

906
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 1: purge the fuck out of you. And and that's that's

907
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: what I witnessed in both groups. Both groups experienced this,

908
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: and it was really amazing to see. It was really

909
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: amazing to see each other, like roommates, support one another

910
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 1: and help each other. I think that also gave first

911
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: of all, made people very vulnerable and allowed other women

912
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 1: to support women through it. So not only you know,

913
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: breaking down barriers with our workshop and all the work

914
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 1: that was being done, but allowing the women to come

915
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: together and support one another through those type of things

916
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: I think was really important.

917
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,839
Speaker 2: And then of course, you know, I don't think even

918
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 2: Erica and I were aware that it was going to

919
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 2: manifest that way and like illness, obviously that's not who

920
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 2: you're wunning, but that's how shit happens. And then week

921
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 2: two came and guess what, after the first workshop, same thing.

922
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 2: It just started getting sick. And at that point we

923
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 2: kind of knew what to expect and we kind of

924
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 2: told them like, don't worry, but this is what happened

925
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 2: last week, and it's to purge and kind of be

926
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:42,439
Speaker 2: aware that you have to let it go, don't hold

927
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 2: on to it, and it just was a continue, like

928
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 2: a continuous thread, and the same thing. By the last day.

929
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 2: By the last two days, everybody was fine, you know,

930
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 2: and it was like kind of like eerie, but like

931
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 2: it was a testament that like, yes, we were doing work,

932
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 2: and if you're not down was doing the work, you're

933
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 2: not going to get what you came to get. You know.

934
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 2: It's it's it was it was fun but and it

935
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 2: was play, but it was also like time to come

936
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:12,240
Speaker 2: in and go back different.

937
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 1: One of the women that came week two, she has

938
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 1: a new baby and she's married, and she was saying

939
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: how basically like sex has been off the table for

940
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 1: a while, and how and that being in this space

941
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: with all these this feminine energy and allowing herself to

942
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 1: kind of just like be vulnerable and break down had

943
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: kind of reactivated her sex drive. And she was sharing

944
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:42,799
Speaker 1: with us like at dinner, which is I love this.

945
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 1: I love that, like we created a space where like

946
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 1: women can like be really excited to share certain things,

947
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:49,720
Speaker 1: and like we're at dinner and she's like, you, guys,

948
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: guess what I masturbated yesterday. And I came and I

949
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:55,799
Speaker 1: was like she and I was like, well, where did

950
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 1: you masturbate because you have a roommate. She's like outside

951
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,919
Speaker 1: looking up at the stars. Was fucking amazing. And then

952
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: a few like a few days ago, uh, in our

953
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,439
Speaker 1: slack group, because we have, you know, our dedicated slack

954
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,720
Speaker 1: groups for each retreat, and Valentine's Day had just passed,

955
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 1: and she was saying, Oh my god, I just had

956
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,720
Speaker 1: the most amazing like you know, I think I shared

957
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 1: this with you guys, is that, like my sex drive

958
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 1: had been really low up until this retreat and I

959
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: just couldn't wait to get back to my husband and

960
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: going back Jesse. Shout out to Jesse, who we talked

961
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: about it a second ago. Her instagram is Sweet Love

962
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 1: Sanctuary and make sure you guys follow her. Gave her

963
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 1: kind of a ritual to do with her husband or

964
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 1: do you know, do with your lover on Valentine's Day,

965
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 1: and she was saying how she got in the bath

966
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,439
Speaker 1: with her husband. They poured honey all over each other,

967
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 1: spoke positive affirmations to one another about their sex life,

968
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 1: about their kid, about their financials, and they had the

969
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:55,359
Speaker 1: like the most amazing two hour sex experience that they've

970
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 1: ever had. And I thought, Wow, isn't that amazing how

971
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 1: feminine energy activated her sex drive. It wasn't about a

972
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 1: masculine it wasn't about the masculine energy. It was something

973
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: about being in nature with a bunch of women. And

974
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 1: I want to be clear, it wasn't like we're over

975
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 1: there having orgies and shit. It was very platonic. It

976
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: was very not lesbian. No, but that that was what

977
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,800
Speaker 1: she needed in order to kind of open up herself

978
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:26,399
Speaker 1: in that way and feel connected to herself that way.

979
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 1: She was saying how her body for so long didn't

980
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 1: feel like her own because she was still breastfeeding, and

981
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 1: that she didn't feel sexual, but being out there and

982
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 1: being and tapping into herself and and it was She's

983
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 1: one of those She's one of the people that I

984
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 1: just loved watching her journey from the beginning to end,

985
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:47,360
Speaker 1: and her transformation was so beautiful. Uh, And just knowing

986
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: that we just need each other, we really do, like

987
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: really we really just need each other. I mean, yes, men,

988
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 1: you guys are so important and not downplaying the role

989
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: of a man and how important they are. Y'all are

990
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 1: the sprinkles on on top of our Sunday, but the

991
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 1: foundation and like the meat of who we are and

992
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 1: where we feel safest is with one another. And I'm

993
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 1: just so grateful that I was able to witness that

994
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 1: in real time, because I think even I needed to

995
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: witness that.

996
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 2: And.

997
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 1: I just can't wait to do it again.

998
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 2: I really can't. I feel fucking activated as fuck. I

999
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 2: feel like I needed that. I feel like I needed

1000
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:35,760
Speaker 2: to meet every single woman. I feel like I'm coming

1001
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,840
Speaker 2: back with like forty three new friends. I'm feeling humbled

1002
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 2: and just like just just humbled, you know, just in

1003
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 2: the magic that we were able to cultivate together. At

1004
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 2: one point, we had a lot of ceremonies, you know,

1005
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,280
Speaker 2: we held a lot of we had a lot of altars,

1006
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 2: We called in a lot of our ancestors. Like I said,

1007
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 2: we just really worked with the elements and with like

1008
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,280
Speaker 2: with with ourselves, and I'm so grateful for the woman

1009
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 2: like coming in open that way. At one point we

1010
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 2: did a morn Every week was different. You know, what

1011
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 2: happened week one didn't happen week two, even the like

1012
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 2: you know, the itinerary which had to change slightly. And

1013
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 2: there was a point where we did a morning at

1014
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 2: seven am ceremony with Sylvia and shout out to Sylvia

1015
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 2: who also did our natal chart. We have an episode

1016
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 2: with her, but we were doing a release, I believe,

1017
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 2: and someone said, you know, I felt my grandmother on

1018
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 2: my left side, and then someone else said, yeah, I

1019
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 2: felt like my grandmother telling me to just laugh, and

1020
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:39,320
Speaker 2: I didn't laugh. I don't know why I didn't. I

1021
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 2: felt like it was an inappropriate time, but I was

1022
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 2: just like, in what other space would we be able

1023
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 2: to be like, Oh, I felt the I felt my

1024
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 2: ancestors on my right side.

1025
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:48,800
Speaker 1: It told me to laugh.

1026
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,080
Speaker 2: You know, we really created the safe space. Like I

1027
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 2: think sometimes we're so busy that we forget that the

1028
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 2: mystic is our communication with God, you know it is

1029
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 2: are there are these signs. Nothing is really just like

1030
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 2: a coincidence. Most things are intentional. And if you ask,

1031
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 2: if you open yourself up and ask to get answers,

1032
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 2: nine times out of ten, the universe is going to

1033
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:17,319
Speaker 2: deliver to you. Now if you're it's different, if you're

1034
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:21,239
Speaker 2: gonna be receptive enough to to to take them and

1035
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 2: understand them. But it really brought warmed my heart that

1036
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 2: there were women who are willing to you know, speak

1037
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 2: on these testimonies and saying this is how I'm feeling,

1038
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 2: and this is like, this is what I needed to release,

1039
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 2: And this is like, actually I felt my grandmother to

1040
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 2: tell me this. Oh I was throwing up and I

1041
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 2: felt spirit tell me let go. I don't think we

1042
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 2: are put in enough friendships and enough situations where we

1043
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 2: can be transparent in that way because it sounds, well,

1044
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 2: you know, it's like white people shit. You know, like, oh,

1045
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 2: if you scream and yell and moan like jump up

1046
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 2: and down, that's white people shit. You know, oh, you're

1047
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:58,439
Speaker 2: you're fucking kombay eyeing naked around the pool, that's white

1048
00:54:58,440 --> 00:54:58,919
Speaker 2: people shit.

1049
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 1: But it's like, no, a bit, it's human people shit.

1050
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: And we all need to do it.

1051
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 2: And we're so caught up in being, you know whatever,

1052
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 2: with how we look and like having our guards up

1053
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 2: that sometimes things will be clear and will ignore them

1054
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 2: because it doesn't make sense. No one's going to understand

1055
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,239
Speaker 2: that I'm not going to be like these this.

1056
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:17,759
Speaker 1: That, you know.

1057
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 2: But most of the times, those are the voices you

1058
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:22,839
Speaker 2: need to listen to. Those are the signs you need

1059
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 2: to listen to. And I was just grateful to have women,

1060
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:30,720
Speaker 2: despite religion, despite background, whatever, they were all coming open

1061
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:33,879
Speaker 2: to tap into themselves. You know, this was a group

1062
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 2: experience and we did a lot of collective healing, but

1063
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 2: the tapping into yourself was really what we were pushing, like,

1064
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 2: it was really about what the work you're doing with

1065
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,359
Speaker 2: you And obviously the support of each other just helped

1066
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 2: because we're all doing the same work together. But I

1067
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 2: was just extremely grateful that we were all open to

1068
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 2: kind of understanding that answers and God come in many forms,

1069
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 2: and that that could be through ass that could be

1070
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 2: through dance, that could be through laughing so hard, that

1071
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 2: could be through moaning, that could be through screaming. You know,

1072
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 2: you know, literally there's a point like we were just

1073
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 2: doing cartwheels naked in the grass. You know, it was

1074
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 2: just like an opportunity to be childlike and just not

1075
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 2: give a fuck and just be giggly and everything was

1076
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 2: funny and like we were smoking weed and it's just

1077
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,319
Speaker 2: like there was there was nothing to be afraid of

1078
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 2: because there was no predators, there was no men. There

1079
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 2: was just it was an absolute safe space to just be.

1080
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 1: Like I feel like I'm gonna twerk. My I want

1081
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 1: to twerk and I don't give a fuck, and no

1082
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 1: one's gonna come behind me and try to like dance

1083
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 1: with me, you know, like you forget how like that

1084
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 1: right there, like that concept when a Landra did our

1085
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 1: did a workshop where we were moving our bodies and

1086
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 1: just having fun and dancing, Like I forgot how how

1087
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 1: much we don't get to just be our sensual selves

1088
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:59,360
Speaker 1: in public without feeling attacked, feeling the male gaze, feeling

1089
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,799
Speaker 1: like we have have to be a certain way to

1090
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:04,439
Speaker 1: be appealing to someone else instead of just I want

1091
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 1: to fucking move my body just like this, because this

1092
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 1: is how the fuck I feel like it, you know.

1093
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 1: And like one of the women from Retreat one was like,

1094
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 1: I haven't moved I realized when I was in that workshop,

1095
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 1: Like I felt like I caught the Holy ghost, is

1096
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 1: what she said. And she was like, I I haven't

1097
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: moved my body in that way and so long, and yeah,

1098
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: there's just so many amazing moments that I just it

1099
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 1: would take four episodes to really just dig all the

1100
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: way in.

1101
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 2: And I don't even know if you if if that's possible,

1102
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 2: you'd really really.

1103
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 1: You really have to come. You just gonna have to come.

1104
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to come.

1105
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 2: But like I was in tears, like at the departure

1106
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 2: of every group. I was just in an overwhelmed gratitude

1107
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 2: the entire time because I just felt like, I don't know,

1108
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 2: not like finally the podcast made sense, but finally like

1109
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 2: it did. It was just like came together. I was like, oh,

1110
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 2: this is what we've been doing, oh like getting women

1111
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,919
Speaker 2: to trust each other, getting women to trust themselves, getting

1112
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 2: women to come as they are. Like it really finally

1113
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 2: made sense to me, Like I feel I come back

1114
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 2: into this space so fucking activated.

1115
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 1: Nobody can tell me shit. Like as I'm giving women.

1116
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 2: Advice the release shit, I'm also like, bitch you too,

1117
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 2: you need to release those niggas that don't serve.

1118
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 1: You need to release that.

1119
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 2: If they're if someone's opinion of you is not like

1120
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 2: the opinion of yourself, fuck them, let them go.

1121
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: You know.

1122
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:28,200
Speaker 2: I think it was just a really true testament to.

1123
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 1: How you are enough.

1124
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 2: We are enough as we are, and there really doesn't

1125
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 2: have to be There's just not a lot of extra

1126
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 2: to it. You are the fuck enough. And I think

1127
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 2: reminding women of that kind of reminded me of that,

1128
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 2: you know, like, damn, you believed me and you came here,

1129
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 2: and now I'm believing myself and I'm doing this, leading

1130
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 2: this workshop, and women are just like, oh, you know,

1131
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 2: I saw you on the internet. I saw you on

1132
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 2: Instagram being so sensual and sexual and free.

1133
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: Like it made me want to come on the retreat.

1134
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 2: I was like, really, I thought about posting that picture

1135
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 2: like fifteen times before I did it. But just knowing

1136
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:07,120
Speaker 2: that we're all so deeply intertwined and like we're all

1137
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 2: here to serve each other and heal each other, and like,

1138
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,920
Speaker 2: I know everyone on Instagram is like putting healer in

1139
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:16,920
Speaker 2: their bio, but women truly actually are healers. You know,

1140
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 2: we are healers of one another, and like that that's that,

1141
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 2: Mama patchya, Like that's our like, that's our sacred gift.

1142
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:26,960
Speaker 2: We heal and we actually have the power to heal

1143
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 2: ourselves and each other if we just allow ourselves to

1144
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 2: surrender to what that looks like or doesn't look like.

1145
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 2: You know, this was a very untraditional retreat. You know,

1146
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 2: if you've been on a retreat, it wasn't like that retreat.

1147
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 1: This retreat was different.

1148
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 2: Came with niggas oiled up, came with blunts, came you know,

1149
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 2: it came with screaming and crying and meal and moaning.

1150
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 2: It came with, you know, it just came with a

1151
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:53,960
Speaker 2: lot of different elements that I don't think we realized

1152
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 2: was going to cultivate this amazing.

1153
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: It came with like real sisterhood. It came with like,

1154
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 1: you left with friends. If you don't have friends, come

1155
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 1: on this motherfucking retreat, you will have friends by the end.

1156
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 1: It's just like inevitable. You just there's no choice, You

1157
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:09,200
Speaker 1: have no choice.

1158
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 2: I know, I'm like planning a trip in slack right now,

1159
01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 2: like we're going to hedonism. But yeah, I'm extremely proud

1160
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 2: of this work that we're doing. I'm extremely proud of

1161
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 2: of us. I'm extremely proud of every single woman who

1162
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 2: came out. I'm so proud of all of the healers

1163
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:28,600
Speaker 2: and women who contributed their time and space to these women.

1164
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 2: It showed like we put a lot of work into this,

1165
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 2: and now we're doing another one and I'm looking.

1166
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:37,760
Speaker 1: Even I'm looking forward to that because I know.

1167
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 2: Just the power of this shit, the power of purging,

1168
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 2: the power of stepping into your shit, the power of

1169
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 2: saying yes and yeah, it was fucking mystical, magical shit

1170
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 2: happened on this trip. Like on some real shit. Every day,

1171
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 2: every single day, I had goosebumps of Wow, this shit

1172
01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 2: is intentional and divine and I'll never forget it. I

1173
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 2: definitely feel like it was life changing for me.

1174
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: It was. It was a card started, my dear, because

1175
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 1: we never forget to do our tarroo time.

1176
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 2: And the card that you pulled was the Night of Swords,

1177
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 2: and it's about It's about being ambitious, action oriented, driven

1178
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 2: to success, driven to succeed, and fast thinking. And basically

1179
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,200
Speaker 2: it's as with all knights of the tarot deck, the

1180
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 2: Night of Swords is a man or woman on a mission.

1181
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 2: Once he has his mind set on something, nothing is

1182
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,840
Speaker 2: stopping him. As a sword card, this night actively uses

1183
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 2: the power of his intellect to achieve his goals. When

1184
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 2: the Night of Swords appears in a tarot reading, it

1185
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 2: is a sign that you are highly driven, ambitious, and

1186
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 2: action oriented. You are so highly motivated to succeed that

1187
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 2: you will stop at nothing to pursue your dreams. The challenges,

1188
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,960
Speaker 2: difficulties and obstacles on the path of head of head

1189
01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 2: don't phase you because you know where you want to go.

1190
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 2: Move forward with sheer strength and determination to make things happen.

1191
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 2: It suggests that you were quick to take action and

1192
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 2: tend not to plan ahead, instead preferring to dive right in,

1193
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 2: thrive on high levels of energy and propel you forward

1194
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:15,040
Speaker 2: and inspire you to take action to manifest your goals.

1195
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 1: So I just I do feel like.

1196
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 2: This has been We've been driving really fast in a

1197
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 2: direction and going really hard and knowing that the work

1198
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 2: was important, but this retreat solidified how important the work is,

1199
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 2: how important the mending of female relationship is, how important

1200
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 2: the mending of self and release. And yeah, that makes sense.

1201
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I definitely feel driven. I feel more

1202
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 1: driven than ever to you know, accomplish my goals to

1203
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 1: keep moving towards this, keep moving towards my own personal

1204
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 1: healing and being able to facilitate that for other women.

1205
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 1: A lot of me and Mila's work is our own

1206
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 1: self work that we you know, bring you out on

1207
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 1: our journey of healing and hope that you know it

1208
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:07,480
Speaker 1: works for you too. And I think that that the

1209
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 1: retreat was kind of a manifestation of that. And I

1210
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:14,360
Speaker 1: just know that I can't stop here, I can't stop now,

1211
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 1: can't stop. I know, I really was feeling like goddess energy.

1212
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 2: I mean, like, not only did it we pay to

1213
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 2: men to just like look sexy and like serve women,

1214
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 2: which made me feel really powerful. I was like, Wow,

1215
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 2: I made this happen. I'm a bass which we even

1216
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 2: bought them like matching shorts from Riot. Shout out to

1217
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:32,600
Speaker 2: Ryant Swim, who's sponsored the Good Vibe retreat. But I

1218
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,040
Speaker 2: was like, I like the idea of telling men what

1219
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 2: to do and telling them to serve us. I felt

1220
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,240
Speaker 2: like that's a part of the sacred feminine that we

1221
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 2: forget that, like, you're here to serve us. It's true,

1222
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 2: we're here to serve each other, but it has to

1223
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:49,400
Speaker 2: first go go both ways. So like after the retreat,

1224
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:53,479
Speaker 2: me and Erica had been around a lot of women

1225
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 2: for many, many, many many days and slept in a

1226
01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 2: bed for like two weeks together, so we were kind

1227
01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:03,240
Speaker 2: of like our fangs maybe came out a little bit

1228
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:04,880
Speaker 2: and this this.

1229
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we have an epic horry that we're going

1230
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 1: to save for Patreos now.

1231
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:12,320
Speaker 2: An epic Valentine's Day hory. When we were really channeling

1232
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:16,120
Speaker 2: our inner goddess, our inner goddess.

1233
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 1: Energy, and we decided that we were going to get

1234
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:24,200
Speaker 1: what we wanted, and we did. We did, we fucking did.

1235
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:28,000
Speaker 2: Okay, even if we had to share it, we were

1236
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:31,040
Speaker 2: going to make it happen. So make sure you turn

1237
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,160
Speaker 2: into Patreon to get that story. I don't think that

1238
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:34,040
Speaker 2: everyone needs.

1239
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 1: To hear that story.

1240
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:36,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're going to save that for the Patreon.

1241
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 2: It's pretty fucking good. It's really good, pretty fucking epic.

1242
01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:45,400
Speaker 1: We're rock stars. We are uh, definitely rock stars.

1243
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 2: Definitely women who get what we want in all areas

1244
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,960
Speaker 2: of life, and I encourage every woman listening to do

1245
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 2: the same. If you've been thinking about going to Costa Rica,

1246
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 2: going on a retreat, going to make some friends, I

1247
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:00,480
Speaker 2: think that you found your place.

1248
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 1: The Good Vibe Retreat is the bomb for sure. Make

1249
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 1: sure you go follow our retreat page at the Good

1250
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,560
Speaker 1: Vibe Retreat so that you can be the first to

1251
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 1: know when our next retreat is because we've already planned it.

1252
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 2: It's this year, so don't fret you don't have the

1253
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 2: way to next year. We're doing it this year, we're

1254
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:19,000
Speaker 2: doing it twice. We're doing it again, and this is

1255
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 2: going to be amazing, just like it was this time.

1256
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 2: But so thank you, thank you, Erica for joining me

1257
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 2: on this journey.

1258
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 1: Well that's it.

1259
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:31,040
Speaker 2: Leave a rate and review if you'd like to see

1260
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 2: what we'd look like. You don't know, go to on

1261
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:37,000
Speaker 2: Instagram and go to Good Moms Underscore Bad Choices. Please

1262
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:39,560
Speaker 2: rate and review this episode. It means so much to us.

1263
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:41,880
Speaker 2: You get this shit free anyway, that's the least you

1264
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:42,280
Speaker 2: could do.

1265
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 1: You can also watch this episode on YouTube. We release

1266
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:50,320
Speaker 1: all of our YouTube videos on Thursdays. Our episodes come

1267
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 1: out Wednesdays. YouTube's on Thursdays. Also, do you see this

1268
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:55,640
Speaker 1: hat I'm wearing. Sure you do because you're watching on YouTube.

1269
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:01,240
Speaker 1: This is our cozy buck hat. Make sure you check

1270
01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:03,760
Speaker 1: it out on our merch store at Good Momsbad Choices

1271
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:05,800
Speaker 1: dot com. I don't know if you know, but our

1272
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,400
Speaker 1: merch store is pretty fucking lit. We're kind of popping

1273
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:08,720
Speaker 1: over there.

1274
01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:10,440
Speaker 2: We're making a lot of merch. I don't know if

1275
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 2: you know, you need to know, but there's a lot

1276
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 2: of drops monthly weekly. We have a lot of shit

1277
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:16,560
Speaker 2: coming and we have a lot of cute shit.

1278
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 1: It's really cute. It ain't no bullshit. We don't make

1279
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 1: that bullshit podcasting merch. I know, y'all some of y'all

1280
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 1: see them merches with a bunch of niggas faces on it,

1281
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:25,680
Speaker 1: that's not it. We're making shit that you actually want

1282
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:29,120
Speaker 1: to wear in your everyday life because that's how we

1283
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 1: do it. But yeah, make sure you go check us

1284
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:35,600
Speaker 1: out on Patreon so you can listen to our Valentine's

1285
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 1: Day costa Rican hoary. That's patreon dot com slash Good

1286
01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 1: Mom's Bad Choices and you actually have to put that

1287
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 1: in your browser because we're considered explicit on Patreon, so

1288
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 1: you can't search us. Make you follow us on Twitter,

1289
01:06:50,960 --> 01:07:01,000
Speaker 1: Good Mom Underscore, Bad Girl, and that's it. Nice to know.

1290
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 3: In SUSSA, this is Yah Ellen j solo ball record

1291
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:17,680
Speaker 3: Elas