Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaizer Podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser po.
Speaker 3: Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show.
Speaker 3: It's Nicki Glazer podcast coming at you from Saint Louis, Missouri.
Speaker 3: I'm here in studio with my sister, who is kind
Speaker 3: enough to join us. Last minute. I was just like, well,
Speaker 3: just saw you at the parents house.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then I was driving home and I was like,
Speaker 3: do you want to do the podcast? And you were
Speaker 3: like sure, and I was like yes, hell yeah. So
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you're here. Thanks for being here. Brian
Speaker 3: Frangie's here, What.
Speaker 2: Up, Bry that's right, your sister from another mister.
Speaker 3: That's what we call you. And then Noah is here
Speaker 3: as well. Hi know, hey guys, everyone, have a good weekend,
Speaker 3: you know what.
Speaker 2: I went to Trader Joe's and I had an interesting
Speaker 2: interaction with the cashier where she said, I said how
Speaker 2: are you and she said great? And I said you're
Speaker 2: great and she said yeah, I think so. And I
Speaker 2: was like, wow, that's amazing, and she said how are you.
Speaker 2: How's your weekend going? And I said, honestly, it's it's
Speaker 2: just like fine, Like I'm doing chores, you know, It's
Speaker 2: like I feel like I'm on my deathbed. I'm not
Speaker 2: going to like remember this weekend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, one of those.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And and she was like, oh, that's that's a
Speaker 2: good point. That's a good point. I said, what about you,
Speaker 2: And she said, yeah, I don't think I'll remember this
Speaker 2: weekend either. And then I said, okay.
Speaker 3: So it's not great.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean so yeah, I mean, I just it's
Speaker 2: just interesting that you asked me that, because I feel
Speaker 2: like I've gone off down like a spiral of oh right.
Speaker 3: Like you've already been through this of like what your
Speaker 3: weekend was, and it was one of the ones that
Speaker 3: be remembered. But I feel like, a no, I think
Speaker 3: you're so right. I just the more I look back on,
Speaker 3: you know, pictures that will pop up on my photo
Speaker 3: feed of like this was a year ago or whatever,
Speaker 3: or just memories in general, like big things can happen
Speaker 3: and I still don't really remember a lot of them,
Speaker 3: and it's just like even big stuff, I can kind
Speaker 3: of be like, oh, like I don't remember the details
Speaker 3: of it, or you know, oh, there was one we
Speaker 3: ran into a girl. Lauren and I were at dinner
Speaker 3: with our parents and the kids, like a week ago,
Speaker 3: or so. And this girl that we went to school
Speaker 3: with that Lauren was friends with, and when when we
Speaker 3: were little, she was there with her kids at the
Speaker 3: same playground slash place to eat, and Lauren said to
Speaker 3: me later on that this girl said to you, she.
Speaker 1: Said, oh, I saw your sister, and she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember your sister smeared shit all over my face.
Speaker 1: I was like, little ship on your face.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when they were when we were young, she said,
Speaker 3: the mall there was your birthday birthday party, and I
Speaker 3: smeared ship all over your face. But if you hear
Speaker 3: that must.
Speaker 1: Have been like a bath and body works like it
Speaker 1: totally was not shit. Actual shit definitely wasn't. But I
Speaker 1: had to clarify. I was like, that is just so un.
Speaker 3: Did you say shit? Did I said? I?
Speaker 1: I said, was it literal shit? I asked her? And
Speaker 1: when she said no, it was like something else, okay.
Speaker 3: And so that girl remembered that because that probably really
Speaker 3: embarrassed something I did really embarrassed her, whereas from my
Speaker 3: point of view, like I don't remember that, Like if
Speaker 3: I were to really embarrass someone or like devastate someone's
Speaker 3: life in that way that they remember it for that
Speaker 3: long I it would have it would have landed on me.
Speaker 3: I would still remember it. But to me, it was
Speaker 3: probably just we were smearing icing on each other's faces
Speaker 3: or something, and I just probably went a little too
Speaker 3: hard because I could be a little too aggressive sometimes
Speaker 3: just because I would get excited. But I don't think
Speaker 3: I was ever like I want to make this girl
Speaker 3: feel bad. Yeah, and I probably did something that was
Speaker 3: embarrassing to her at the time, and to her that
Speaker 3: was a moment she'll never forget, Like we all those
Speaker 3: moments of like where we tripped and fell or we
Speaker 3: someone smeared shit on our face, and to them it
Speaker 3: was like totally nothing. Because I don't even remember this party.
Speaker 3: I don't remember her. I don't remember anything about this,
Speaker 3: but I do know that one time I snapped a
Speaker 3: girl's swimsuit and she remember that girl that was our
Speaker 3: friends with Kelsey and Jamie and Lindsay. And she went
Speaker 3: to the water park with us one day and cousin
Speaker 3: yes Ok and j and Jamie and Kelsey's parents drove us,
Speaker 3: so our parents weren't there and we were playing in
Speaker 3: the back seat and she had I guess the week
Speaker 3: before slid down a tree, like fell off a tree
Speaker 3: or something and got really scraped up on her back.
Speaker 3: And I like didn't remember that when we were all
Speaker 3: snapping each other's swimsuits and I snapped hers and it
Speaker 3: like broke open her scabs and she started bleeding everywhere,
Speaker 3: and I got in so much trouble. It was probably
Speaker 3: she probably doesn't even remember it, but to me, I
Speaker 3: got in trouble. So it's like I I even tell
Speaker 3: that story being like am I gonna get Yeah, like
Speaker 3: I can't I get a little bit. I'm like already
Speaker 3: like closing up on myself like a little like crustacean
Speaker 3: even talking about it. But no one else in the
Speaker 3: car even remembers that incident. And to me, it was
Speaker 3: like the biggest thing. So memory is all just subjective.
Speaker 4: How did your parents like not punished, but how do
Speaker 4: they reprimand you like when you say that you got
Speaker 4: in trouble, how did you get in trouble?
Speaker 3: I got in trouble from their parents, like the like
Speaker 3: her aunt who was my neighbor's mom. I just remember
Speaker 3: her being like why would you do that? You know,
Speaker 3: like that kind of thing of just not getting in
Speaker 3: trouble but just yelled at. Yeah, And I just didn't
Speaker 3: get yelled at that much unless it was by my mom.
Speaker 3: And by my mom, I just sorry, it just didn't
Speaker 3: matter to me. When I yelled at me, she yelled,
Speaker 3: no offense. Mom, You're you're definitely listening. But she would
Speaker 3: yell a lot. So it just want or out the
Speaker 3: other if you do it too much, your kids don't
Speaker 3: care or respect because I never I never got was
Speaker 3: scared of mom. Were you?
Speaker 1: I think one time when we shared it speak pretty
Speaker 1: cutting with her words.
Speaker 3: I was scared when she when we spilled the nail
Speaker 3: polish on the carpet, because I knew that was like
Speaker 3: that that I wasn't able to clean.
Speaker 1: We were so scared, were.
Speaker 3: Terrified, like I don't even know we were physical harm.
Speaker 1: Like we were just messing around painting our nails. And
Speaker 1: she used to share a bedroom as a kid, and
Speaker 1: I put the nail polished. Mind I was forced on
Speaker 1: top of your head and she swiped it away and
Speaker 1: it went all over the comforter.
Speaker 3: They it was on those Disney comforters forever. I still
Speaker 3: remember that. It was like a magenta right, yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was all over this like it was like a
Speaker 3: white bookcase. My mom had just painted like a really
Speaker 3: creative like she'd spent all this time painting this like
Speaker 3: cool bookcase or not bookcase, but like dresser.
Speaker 1: Drawer or was it the bunk bed that she painted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, bunk beds. Yeah, it was all over the bunk
Speaker 3: beds too. It was all over and I mean devastating.
Speaker 3: And I remember that was the only time I was
Speaker 3: very scared of mom. But otherwise we weren't like punished
Speaker 3: as kids. I don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like we were good kids.
Speaker 3: I was really good. I just didn't.
Speaker 1: But that's why not because mom and dad can't understand
Speaker 1: why my kids are so.
Speaker 3: Badly right right, well, why were we good? I don't
Speaker 3: compared to your kids, and your kids aren't like bad.
Speaker 3: But they don't listen.
Speaker 1: They don't listen. They have their moments where they're just like,
Speaker 1: do whatever they want.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they literally yeah they and.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, mom and dad were just trying to school
Speaker 1: me the other A couple of they said, you got,
Speaker 1: what are you going to do? You have to get
Speaker 1: these kids in line. I was like, he's a two
Speaker 1: year old, Like he's not. I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: it's frustrating.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean they they yeah, they have. I don't
Speaker 3: think their way worked that well. We all turned out fine. Whatever,
Speaker 3: they're gonna be fine. But I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: Like I wouldn't know what to do either, because you
Speaker 3: kind of do the opposite.
Speaker 1: But your parents, my mom said you gotta spank them.
Speaker 1: You just got to do it, and I was like, Mom,
Speaker 1: I didn't really just swap first century and having your
Speaker 1: kids be frightened and doesn't work. It either makes them
Speaker 1: parents either, yeah, and it's just exactly yeah, well but even.
Speaker 3: That, well, mom and dad used to spank us, but
Speaker 3: I didn't respect it because it wasn't hard enough. It
Speaker 3: didn't really hurt, so I wasn't scared of it. I
Speaker 3: would just kind of be like embarrassed for them.
Speaker 1: That's why I would say didn't hurt every time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you would go didn't hurt, didn't hurt, and Dad
Speaker 3: would always make fun of that, and it's like, but
Speaker 3: they didn't hurt us, So it was like, so I
Speaker 3: honestly was kind of like your pussies likes put some
Speaker 3: shoulder into it. Like I kind of was like, it
Speaker 3: should hurt more than this, and this doesn't.
Speaker 1: It just always seemed like, why would why would you
Speaker 1: do that to your kids?
Speaker 3: I guess which I was acting out. I just wanted attention.
Speaker 3: I just wanted someone to care about what was going
Speaker 3: on with me. Like I'm like, because I was never bad, to.
Speaker 1: Be bad, and that is all my children's behavior is
Speaker 1: attention seeking, that's.
Speaker 3: All it is. Yeah, but so what do you do?
Speaker 3: How are you feeling?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: What do you just like, start to care about the
Speaker 3: stuff that they're showing you and stuff because you already do.
Speaker 3: I can't picture a mom who cares more than you, Like,
Speaker 3: what more do they want?
Speaker 1: They just want constant attention. I don't know. I mean
Speaker 1: we try timeouts, they don't really work. I try to
Speaker 1: be just the calm parent, talk things through and just
Speaker 1: take away, Like if they're throwing a ball, let's take
Speaker 1: away the ball, you know, just take.
Speaker 3: Away that the weapon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, whatever they're using that they they're using improperly or
Speaker 1: just I even do try to like if you do this,
Speaker 1: you don't get dessert tonight. If you keep doing this,
Speaker 1: then consequences, Yeah, we're no TV.
Speaker 3: Then it did it work for you guys to be good?
Speaker 3: What did your parents do well?
Speaker 2: This reminds me of a scene from the Greatest movie
Speaker 2: of all Time, Goodwill Hunting, where Matt Damon gets abused
Speaker 2: as a child and he says, my dad used to
Speaker 2: come home drunk and he would take out a switch,
Speaker 2: a belt, and a wrench and he'd say pick one,
Speaker 2: and then Matt Damon would and then Robin Williams was like,
Speaker 2: I'd pick the switch with that one, son, And then
Speaker 2: Matt Damon was like, I picked the wrench every time,
Speaker 2: and Robin was like why, and Matt Daman was like,
Speaker 2: because fuck them, that's why. Oh. I've almost referenced every
Speaker 2: single Good Will Hunting scene on this podcast you.
Speaker 3: Have, except how about.
Speaker 2: Famous scene?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what did you did? You guys get beat with
Speaker 3: things hands things.
Speaker 4: Hands, But like and also yeah, like with my family,
Speaker 4: it was just kind of like terrorizing us, making us scared, which.
Speaker 3: The like threaten of that as an adult is like terrible. Yeah,
Speaker 3: not good, Like they would threaten stuff that you like
Speaker 3: if it if it did, if you did that, this
Speaker 3: is what would happen.
Speaker 4: It was just like a lot of yelling and you know,
Speaker 4: just like loud noises and wowd.
Speaker 3: Noah sent this video the other day of a little
Speaker 3: baby like one and a half year old, I'd say
Speaker 3: maybe one, and it's playing on this woman's lap, probably
Speaker 3: it's mom, and it's like putting blocks inside a thing,
Speaker 3: and it's just like you know, pouring different things into things.
Speaker 3: And then like a person comes in the room and
Speaker 3: just starts arguing with the woman like kind of just
Speaker 3: like talking like this and I'm not doing like that,
Speaker 3: like kind of just that tone not even directed as
Speaker 3: the child, right, was it not?
Speaker 4: No, they were sitting across the table, so the child
Speaker 4: was sitting at one side of the table just playing
Speaker 4: with blocks, like Nikki said, And then I believe it
Speaker 4: was the mom comes in and then someone comes in
Speaker 4: and they start having a confrontation in front of the child.
Speaker 3: Yes, and the child just shut down.
Speaker 4: Just completely shuts down, doesn't want to play with the
Speaker 4: blocks anymore. Even when they're done arguing, the baby's just
Speaker 4: kind of like staring into just space.
Speaker 3: So sad. And it's not even directed at the baby,
Speaker 3: like the baby's just witnessing this like loud abrasive talk.
Speaker 3: And I was just like this.
Speaker 5: That's that trauma right there, because you like you think
Speaker 5: about your own child and you're like, well, I didn't
Speaker 5: get beat and I didn't get I didn't watch my
Speaker 5: dad beat my mom, and my dad didn't beat me and.
Speaker 3: My parents didn't like it wasn't there was no sexual abuse,
Speaker 3: there was no physical abuse, but there was lots of
Speaker 3: yelling around. There still is, there's still we just heard
Speaker 3: it this morning.
Speaker 1: Grandkids get it earful for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just hard not to fall into that, because
Speaker 3: even I do this morning, Like I went over there
Speaker 3: to drop off my dog while I took a plates
Speaker 3: class like near their house, and I just like fell
Speaker 3: into talking like that little zippy like that like naggy
Speaker 3: raised voice, which I can sometimes bring into the house
Speaker 3: like it cannot be going on, and then I bring
Speaker 3: it in because it's just like what I know, and
Speaker 3: it's not like their fault. It's what they grew up
Speaker 3: with to a f show because.
Speaker 1: More so than we did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah exactly. So it's like it's just almost.
Speaker 2: Like what do they expect? They expect everyone to just
Speaker 2: be perfect people and perfect parents constantly. I mean, I
Speaker 2: feel like society has been functioning pretty well with a
Speaker 2: bunch of like angry.
Speaker 3: And it's getting pretty bad. Brian getting We've done a
Speaker 3: show that highlights, haven't you just recently show run a
Speaker 3: show that highlights the polarization of our country and how
Speaker 3: angry some people are and out of touch.
Speaker 2: Certainly, but I feel like that it's unavoidable. Like people
Speaker 2: aren't perfect, and I feel like babies, the quicker they
Speaker 2: get used to imperfect people, the better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there's a there's definitely an argument for like
Speaker 3: what are they gonna do when they first get yelled
Speaker 3: at by an adult? If every time they ever have
Speaker 3: any kind of conflict, it's like, now, how does that
Speaker 3: make you feel? Well, we don't like to do that,
Speaker 3: Like they're gonna fucking you know. This is I'm not
Speaker 3: the I'm the millionth person to say this in probably
Speaker 3: a week on a podcast, but it's like they they
Speaker 3: definitely I remember the first time you get yelled at
Speaker 3: by like a different person or it's it's jarring, but
Speaker 3: you survive it, and you like your kids are now
Speaker 3: going to Catholic school, and you were kind of excited,
Speaker 3: Lauren because you were like, oh, they're gonna get some
Speaker 3: like some real discipline and just.
Speaker 1: From like from not from their parents, just I think
Speaker 1: different expectations than.
Speaker 3: Have you noticed a shift even just like with one
Speaker 3: week of schools.
Speaker 1: They come home singing religious songs.
Speaker 3: Does Jesus love them, Yes, he does for the Bible
Speaker 3: tells them, oh that's good.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Catholic school and she didn't become a big Catholics.
Speaker 1: Most people don't.
Speaker 3: Special just came out, Oh Chad Daniels his special. He
Speaker 3: was like, I don't think there's a bigger contingency of
Speaker 3: people than the group of people that used to be
Speaker 3: Catholic and are like, oh, fuck no, that is the
Speaker 3: biggest group of people that there is in this country.
Speaker 1: The weird thing is is that the people, like the
Speaker 1: parents that send their kids to the school, none of
Speaker 1: them are religious at all, and they they kind of
Speaker 1: have that same mentality, like, but there's just not a
Speaker 1: lot of choices where we live in the city, and
Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, it's a private school and everyone
Speaker 1: lives around in the same neighborhood. Like my kids could
Speaker 1: walk to school, which is so great, And I wish I.
Speaker 3: Would have learned a little bit of religion. I was
Speaker 3: thinking about it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, it tells you to be a
Speaker 1: good person, and there's learning the Golden Rule, and you know, ASoP.
Speaker 3: Has got that cover too. We could just stick to
Speaker 3: his fables and there's no doctrine that you need to
Speaker 3: follow and you're going to Hell.
Speaker 1: But they don't teach them.
Speaker 3: When do they learn about hell? When do kids learn
Speaker 3: about Hell?
Speaker 1: I think now immediately. Instill is going to have his
Speaker 1: first communion this year and he's not even baptized. So
Speaker 1: we have to get all three of our kids baptized.
Speaker 1: What can't you just.
Speaker 3: Lie and say he was. You have to have paperwork
Speaker 3: to hell exiling if you don't believe in any.
Speaker 2: Of it about your child baptism.
Speaker 1: I just we have to do it. Like the only
Speaker 1: kid that doesn't.
Speaker 3: Let's take him to the Why today, dunk him in
Speaker 3: the water in the shallow end and have an old
Speaker 3: man say some mumblesome ship over his head and have
Speaker 3: his mom and dad next to him crying or whatever
Speaker 3: they do, And about what do people do at It's
Speaker 3: there's nothing lamer than seeing people getting baptized in like
Speaker 3: millionaires pools, like full grown adults. Yeah, it's so sad. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess it's like a great experience to
Speaker 3: like give your life over to something. I do feel
Speaker 3: that way. When I became a Swiftie, I feel like
Speaker 3: it was like, this is it's exciting to embark on
Speaker 3: a new thing that's gonna be you that you're gonna
Speaker 3: like throw yourself into fully love completely and when you
Speaker 3: just like it really is like a religion excepts. And
Speaker 3: I was actually listening to Sam Harris today and he
Speaker 3: was talking about cults and he was talking about how,
Speaker 3: you know, the cult of Trump and stuff, and how
Speaker 3: like if you disagree with him at all, you're kicked out,
Speaker 3: Like you either love everything he does or you're kicked out.
Speaker 3: And I was like, that fucking sucks. You should be
Speaker 3: able to disagree with anyone that you politically align with
Speaker 3: and still be able to like them and vote for
Speaker 3: them and have their constituents like you as well. But
Speaker 3: with Trump, it's like if you got to be on board,
Speaker 3: if you say anything bad about him, you're out. And
Speaker 3: I was like, that sounds a lot like being a
Speaker 3: SWIFTYE because you're not allowed to ever ever within the
Speaker 3: swifty community say have any criticism tailor. And I obviously
Speaker 3: have criticism tailor because I have criticism of fucking everyone
Speaker 3: there is, and you should because no one's infallible. But
Speaker 3: I will not ever speak of it because I because
Speaker 3: Also it's because she does not have political sweat. I mean,
Speaker 3: she could, but.
Speaker 1: She she does.
Speaker 3: I don't need to voice my criticism of anything that
Speaker 3: she does because it's only putting negativity out there. I'm
Speaker 3: doing it because I'm scared because of the cult of Swifty,
Speaker 3: but I'm also doing it because it's not it's I'm
Speaker 3: tired of people commenting on things negatively when they don't
Speaker 3: really When even though that's something I enjoy doing so
Speaker 3: much and I will miss as I get more and
Speaker 3: more famous, you just can't do it. Instead, you just
Speaker 3: ask your parents their opinions about things, and then you're
Speaker 3: forcing That's my new thing is I have my sister
Speaker 3: on and I go, what do you think about? And
Speaker 3: I say show we watched together, and I know she
Speaker 3: feels the same way I do, and then she says
Speaker 3: it and there's nothing on the line for me. So
Speaker 3: look for more of that in the podcast because I
Speaker 3: can't really share my own opinion anymore. Actually I absolutely will,
Speaker 3: But I like Bobby Altov, do you know who that is?
Speaker 3: You definitely know who that is. She does like interviews,
Speaker 3: and she kind of like talks like this, and she's
Speaker 3: just like she's really pretty, and she's like a young
Speaker 3: girl and she just like interviews like different floppers.
Speaker 4: What was that she doesn't emmote in her interviews.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's just like so explaining your shoes, and she
Speaker 3: doesn't in bed. Yeah, she's so, she's just captivating to watch.
Speaker 3: Her name is Bobby Altof. I'll send you your stuff.
Speaker 3: She's you will be obsessed. But people all they write
Speaker 3: under her shit is like, you've ruined your face. You
Speaker 3: filled up your face too much. Because she got a
Speaker 3: little bit. I don't even know if she got fillers.
Speaker 3: She got botox and her face looks better. And people
Speaker 3: are just so fucking jealous because they can't afford to
Speaker 3: do what she does, so they have to be like,
Speaker 3: you ruined your face, edit it, or guys like want
Speaker 3: to fuck her and they're frustrated that they can't. You
Speaker 3: ruined your face. And yesterday she was just like, you're
Speaker 3: such a loser if you write stuff like that, look
Speaker 3: at your life. What are you doing with your life?
Speaker 3: I don't like if you want to do what I
Speaker 3: do because you're jealous, clearly go do it. The Internet's
Speaker 3: free to put stuff out on do your own thing.
Speaker 3: Leave me alone. I'm like, and Chris was listening to it,
Speaker 3: being kind of like, they're not all losers. It doesn't
Speaker 3: take that much to write you to win your face, Like,
Speaker 3: they could have really full lives. And I was like,
Speaker 3: a good point.
Speaker 2: Good point in between picking up their kids from after school. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they're like, oh, yeah, you're in your phone.
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, you're right. They could be like
Speaker 3: trading on the stock floor and just being like you
Speaker 3: ruined your face like they could have. Really, they could
Speaker 3: be earning lots of money and feeling great about themselves.
Speaker 3: But what I do think is that you're a sad
Speaker 3: person if you write anonymously a mean thing to put online.
Speaker 3: That isn't like reviewing art, and like, if you're just
Speaker 3: commenting on someone's face to be mean, I've wanted to
Speaker 3: do it before, and you know where you do it.
Speaker 3: You do it in your DMS with your best friend.
Speaker 3: You send, you send Bobby Altov's face, and you go,
Speaker 3: she ruined her face, your friend. And by the way,
Speaker 3: Bobby alsoff did not ruin her face. She looks fucking
Speaker 3: better than ever and I'm obsessed with her and anyone
Speaker 3: who says she ruined her face, you're just jealous because
Speaker 3: her face looks good and you wish you could look
Speaker 3: lyrics could look like that, but you're scared to go
Speaker 3: to the doctor and get stuff in your face because
Speaker 3: you're a pussy.
Speaker 2: Just ask your sister what she thinks of Bobby all
Speaker 2: toss faith.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah I would, I should.
Speaker 1: Ye'll be picked.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll show you a pick next up, Well we
Speaker 3: get back. We're back. Bobby took down the post where
Speaker 3: she was calling people out, so I don't want to
Speaker 3: It's that's the clip where you can really see her face.
Speaker 1: But she's like, you got another one? I can?
Speaker 3: I mean, all a sudden, Yeah, yeah, there was a
Speaker 3: show I was gonna ask you about, but now everyone
Speaker 3: will know I don't like that show if I asked
Speaker 3: you about it, even though I've asked all my friends
Speaker 3: about this show. To be like, am I the only
Speaker 3: one who's not into it because it feels like it?
Speaker 2: No, I gotta know what it.
Speaker 3: Is, and and I'm not the only one. I think
Speaker 3: everyone's masquerading and acting like they like this show.
Speaker 2: Huh the Crown?
Speaker 3: No, No, I can't say. Let me just say, if
Speaker 3: you are a true listener, I will drop hints throughout
Speaker 3: the course of these episodes, dude, and I won't like
Speaker 3: not Today's because it's too obvious. But I really like
Speaker 3: people I really like and people who admire, uh may
Speaker 3: make this show. Show is like, it's not bad, and
Speaker 3: if I made the show, I'd be really upset at
Speaker 3: someone who is nitpicking it the way I'm nitpicking. And
Speaker 3: to be honest with you, I'm that's a great question, Brian,
Speaker 3: one of maybe the best questions that you could possibly
Speaker 3: ask you to what it is. I'm not sure if
Speaker 3: it is or not. No, I'm not even like it's.
Speaker 3: It's well into a let's say, possibly fourth season, and
Speaker 3: I'm not even through the second season. I didn't I did.
Speaker 3: I did a fake number just now, and I'm well,
Speaker 3: I'm not even halfway through what is out there for
Speaker 3: people to consume, So I'm not We've never talked to me,
Speaker 3: and I've been on the phone, like on my phone
Speaker 3: watching it. Here's my problem. I need two times to
Speaker 3: speed things. I need one point five and you can't
Speaker 3: do that on a TV. You can only do it
Speaker 3: on apps. And I'm sorry to people who make TV
Speaker 3: and in movies. Things are changing. I just consume faster
Speaker 3: and I want things to happen faster, but I will.
Speaker 3: There are a lot of things I like about the show,
Speaker 3: and I should have started with that. But now I okay,
Speaker 3: let me check my phone and see if you get
Speaker 3: it right. You go Nikki, no.
Speaker 2: No, no, no no.
Speaker 3: Ted Lasso is what Brian guessed, and I will say
Speaker 3: I love ted Lasso, and I I actually didn't finish
Speaker 3: the third season because I was savoring it too much.
Speaker 3: And now I wait, because I just it was like
Speaker 3: a treat that I would let myself have every now
Speaker 3: and again, and and then I I don't think I
Speaker 3: ever finished it because I just treated it out too much.
Speaker 3: And then by the time I went to go back,
Speaker 3: I was like, I gotta watch more episodes, but there's
Speaker 3: so much TV you have to watch.
Speaker 2: But coming back, it's going to have a fourth season.
Speaker 2: What I kind of heard that, Yeah, well.
Speaker 3: It's like the major players are coming back.
Speaker 2: The major players. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh so it'll be Roy, it'll be.
Speaker 2: There's still there's feeling out.
Speaker 1: Oh Keeley, you do a good impersonation of Gee.
Speaker 3: Why I used to if I'll watch it? But she's good?
Speaker 3: Is it? Oh my god?
Speaker 2: The only one that they were like confirmed not going back.
Speaker 2: Was Jamie part, Oh we can.
Speaker 3: Do without him? Yeah, he's he's great, but like, the
Speaker 3: show can go on with with Ted be back.
Speaker 2: I got to assume he's like the EP, how could
Speaker 2: he not?
Speaker 3: Well, I was just thinking. I was honestly thinking when
Speaker 3: I heard that they were just gonna take like everyone
Speaker 3: who like they were going to take all the supporting
Speaker 3: cast and make a new show and bring on as
Speaker 3: many people as possible. But it would be called something different,
Speaker 3: but it would still be in that world, and maybe
Speaker 3: they'd buy the rights to it and pay off who.
Speaker 1: I could see Key having a spin off.
Speaker 3: I would I would love that spin off. And did
Speaker 3: she And I don't even know if she ended up
Speaker 3: with Roy or Jamie. They were both coming at her
Speaker 3: and I think the third season last.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't think I finished the third season?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with us? Because it
Speaker 3: was good.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be able to accept Keeley in that
Speaker 2: role after seeing her in Fargo.
Speaker 3: Oh God, she was so good in Fargo. I hoped
Speaker 3: she was Emmy for that. I voted so hard for
Speaker 3: her for that. I loved her because at first I
Speaker 3: was like, I don't know if I can believe keeley
Speaker 3: In's role. And then she was just really incredible.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that was so good. Was this your
Speaker 2: first year voting in the Emmys or yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah? And guess what. I didn't get to vote for myself.
Speaker 2: Oh why not?
Speaker 3: Chris and I both were voting and were like, where's
Speaker 3: my category? And we were like what the fuck? And
Speaker 3: and so I wrote my publicist I'm like, I can't
Speaker 3: vote for myself voting school in a couple of days,
Speaker 3: and she was like, I'm looking into this. This is crazy,
Speaker 3: and she had just gotten a text from I think
Speaker 3: Alex Edelman, who also said I can't vote for myself,
Speaker 3: and I go, well, that's weird because I can vote
Speaker 3: for Alex Edelman or no, no, no, I couldn't vote for Alex.
Speaker 3: I was like, I would vote for the Tom Brady
Speaker 3: roast and I was in that. So I'm like, if
Speaker 3: it's about being in the thing, why can you vote
Speaker 3: for it? If you they make it so if you're nominated,
Speaker 3: you can't vote for yourself, which I think is so
Speaker 3: dumb because I remember third grade, I was running for
Speaker 3: class president and I remember asking missus Pickett, can I
Speaker 3: vote for myself? And she said, do you think the
Speaker 3: President of the United States does not vote for himself?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I go, oh my god, you're right. Why shouldn't I
Speaker 3: be able to vote from myself for himself? Why couldn't
Speaker 3: You can't? And neither could Chris because he's a producer
Speaker 3: on it. They like really got in there and made
Speaker 3: it so you can't vote. Yeah, so I.
Speaker 2: Can't vote on I can't vote for you either, because
Speaker 2: I'm not asked to vote at all. Oh.
Speaker 3: Really, I don't even know how I got in.
Speaker 2: I just this process. What is it? What happens?
Speaker 3: You have to agree that you've seen at least one
Speaker 3: of the things in each category that you vote on,
Speaker 3: so it'll be like Outstanding Dramatic Series, and then it'll
Speaker 3: take you to a screen and this goes do you
Speaker 3: to have you? They will give you all the nominees.
Speaker 3: Have you seen at least one of these? And then
Speaker 3: you say yes, and you lie and then you vote
Speaker 3: for your friend.
Speaker 1: You know, that's not what I did.
Speaker 3: I had to say I had to say no to
Speaker 3: some things because I hadn't seen it, but I'd seen
Speaker 3: one thing in most Huh.
Speaker 2: See, just one day you wake up and you got
Speaker 2: a random I just.
Speaker 3: Got an email. I mean, I'm sure there was a
Speaker 3: lot of process behind it that I could have looked
Speaker 3: into and been like, oh, you know, maybe me presenting
Speaker 3: at the Creative Arts Eemies last year got me in.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't really know, but I got to vote this year,
Speaker 3: or maybe me being nominated this year got me in.
Speaker 3: I will say I'm devastated that I wasn't nominated for
Speaker 3: Best Reality Show Host. The CW just doesn't. They don't
Speaker 3: what nominate elect people. They don't put forth their people
Speaker 3: because it's nine hundred dollars a submission. Was like, I
Speaker 3: would have paid it. I literally would have. I could
Speaker 3: have been nominated for I could have been nominated twice.
Speaker 3: It would have been awesome, and I should have been
Speaker 3: I'd worked hard on that show, and I just feel
Speaker 3: like it would have happened because but nine hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: They were just like, and it you know, it's but
Speaker 3: if they do me, they have to do everyone within
Speaker 3: the CW, and it's thousands of thousands of dollars that
Speaker 3: they probably.
Speaker 1: Don't have picked. Hey what just pick me?
Speaker 3: Why couldn't they have asked me like, hey, we can't
Speaker 3: afford to do this. Do you want to submit? Give
Speaker 3: us nine hundred dollars. I would have done it in
Speaker 3: a heartbeat. Yeah, and so Jeff Probes will win again
Speaker 3: or whoever, but yeah, that's coming. Yeah, I'm trying to
Speaker 3: think of a TV or Yeah, Chris voted this weekend?
Speaker 2: How many times has he voted? Is this first time too?
Speaker 3: I think no, he's been nominated. He has an Emmy,
Speaker 3: so I don't know what. I think he has an
Speaker 3: Emmy for. I think Storytellers that he did with like
Speaker 3: all Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Emmy Award winner Chris Convey.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's I don't even know where it is.
Speaker 3: I think it's at Kurran's, his brother's cabin, because they
Speaker 3: were using it. He gave it to current to for
Speaker 3: like a pussy magnet, like just to have in his
Speaker 3: apartment to have like a girls come up and be
Speaker 3: like it's a real Emmy, you know, like just for fun,
Speaker 3: because he was like, I'm not using this, and so
Speaker 3: it was at Currents forever, and I think it's probably
Speaker 3: like in storage somewhere. I don't even know. But hopefully
Speaker 3: he'll he'll have another one that we can we'll have
Speaker 3: two we could put on the mantle here. What are
Speaker 3: you guys? Are you Matt watching anything good?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Not really?
Speaker 3: Actually what are the kids watching anything good? Just kidding?
Speaker 1: That's all we watch. I swear like we don't even
Speaker 1: get to watch TV.
Speaker 3: That sucks. I know, what do you do with your
Speaker 3: free time? Just go on your phone?
Speaker 1: Oh I just watched the what's the Scott Scott Peterson?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well just watched us that.
Speaker 1: Okay, we already discussed that and right, oh completely wonder why.
Speaker 3: Is anyone debating it? Isn't it hilarious?
Speaker 1: His family is just in such denial.
Speaker 3: It's sad. It's so yeah, so sad. That is It
Speaker 3: sucks so much that he didn't just divorce her, Like
Speaker 3: I know, he's suck a fucking pussy to kill her
Speaker 3: and his dumb mouth. Never, his mouth is the only
Speaker 3: thing that moves on his stupid face. Everyone's like, Nikki,
Speaker 3: there's new Scott Peterson interviews on Amazon. I'm like, I
Speaker 3: have no interest in watching that Marionette talk and his
Speaker 3: he just just sat on the top and just mumbles
Speaker 3: on the bottom. He's awful to watch, he's awful to
Speaker 3: look at. He's such a lying miserable piece of shit.
Speaker 3: The idea I just can't even I can't even believe
Speaker 3: that that he.
Speaker 1: Thank God for Amber.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a gripe, but I shared on the podcast.
Speaker 3: Really I think they could have gotten a confession out
Speaker 3: of him if she would have just acted horny for
Speaker 3: what he did.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine if she would just been like, Scott,
Speaker 3: I know you did it, and I just like, I
Speaker 3: want to help you, like not go to jail forever.
Speaker 3: Will you just tell me, like where you put her body,
Speaker 3: I'll go look for it. Like if she would have
Speaker 3: just been like, it's so hot, yes, and he would
Speaker 3: have been like, okay, well I dumped it here, and
Speaker 3: like if she would have even slown shown the slightest
Speaker 3: bit of wetness over the fact that he killed his wife,
Speaker 3: he would have been like, I did it. I really
Speaker 3: think so he was so stupid, but thank god for stupid.
Speaker 3: I mean think because he got caught. But like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm I'm really My mom watched worst roommate Ever last night.
Speaker 3: She goes, she texts me worst roommate ever, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: and I haven't seen it and she goes, wait, who
Speaker 3: Lauren must have recommended it is it good?
Speaker 1: The first the first two episodes, yeah really good. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: really good. Just each one is a different story.
Speaker 3: It's the last way it is with the Netflix stuff.
Speaker 3: Like the first two episodes, you're like, I get it all,
Speaker 3: and then the third one, well it's looking.
Speaker 1: For some gruesome and oh it's her silence. I mean
Speaker 1: it's there's murder involved there. Okay, you know, but every store,
Speaker 1: every episode a different situation.
Speaker 2: I should be on that show.
Speaker 3: What was your roommate in college? Wait?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you had a.
Speaker 3: Really weird one though in New York.
Speaker 2: Oh god, I've had a lot of terrible roommates now
Speaker 2: you bring it up. But in college I lived with
Speaker 2: a child molester. Oh my god, I didn't know it
Speaker 2: was a child molester.
Speaker 3: How did this happen? Did he get busted?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well I think I might have told this before,
Speaker 2: but he uh, he was a friend of one of
Speaker 2: my other roommates and we had like an opening, so
Speaker 2: he came in. I didn't like know who this guy,
Speaker 2: and he was really weird the whole time. He was
Speaker 2: this like scrawny, mustachioed man, which is like, now that
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, that's kind of fits the bill and he
Speaker 2: would be drunk all the time, and he would do
Speaker 2: weird things like if my girlfriend at the time would
Speaker 2: go to the bathroom, he'd like stand outside the bathroom
Speaker 2: and then like drunkenly knock on the door to be
Speaker 2: like are you in there? Are you naked in there?
Speaker 2: It is like can you and I to go out
Speaker 2: and be like, can you not bother my girl from
Speaker 2: while she's in the bathroom. So he was a weird
Speaker 2: guy the whole time. And then one day while he
Speaker 2: was at class, the police just came to the front
Speaker 2: door and they said, is this guy there. He's wanted
Speaker 2: for child molestation?
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I said, well, no, he's in class, and
Speaker 2: they're like, can you get him to come back? And
Speaker 2: then me and my roommates plotted to get him to
Speaker 2: come back by calling him and saying that we were
Speaker 2: all going to Applebee's and he had to come back
Speaker 2: right away because we were trying to get half priced apps.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then he came back. This is the line
Speaker 2: I say, he.
Speaker 3: Not half priced as.
Speaker 2: He came back expecting spinach artichoke dip and instead he
Speaker 2: got the opposite. He got arrested for child molestations.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: He came back to the house and it was literally
Speaker 2: like the TV. The cops hid around the corner, like
Speaker 2: behind the bush, and then he walked up to the
Speaker 2: front lawn and they ran out and tackled him.
Speaker 4: WHOA, So, were you working with the cops like sharing
Speaker 4: the like text or like his computer or something like that.
Speaker 3: Would they did you get details of how they caught him?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's that's like even that's like really sad
Speaker 2: they caught him because the kid who got old enough
Speaker 2: to start talking about it.
Speaker 3: Good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like his cousin or something. And it
Speaker 2: wasn't like it was like a he probably was drunk
Speaker 2: and like he did some questionable things in the guys
Speaker 2: of potty training. Let's just put it that way.
Speaker 3: Oh dear god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, god, And then the kids started talking about it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Actually, this is so horrible. I don't
Speaker 2: even want to like.
Speaker 3: Talk about Yeah, we don't have to get into it.
Speaker 3: But what I want to know is, were you guys like, fuck,
Speaker 3: we gotta find a new roommate. Was there like a
Speaker 3: part that was like shit, because yeah, you got to
Speaker 3: cover his rent?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I actually don't know what we did after. It
Speaker 2: was pretty close to the end of semester, so I
Speaker 2: think we were like, I think we felt like we
Speaker 2: could handle it. And also I just assumed that he
Speaker 2: would continue paying his rent. I actually don't know what
Speaker 2: happened after that in terms of rent. That's a good question.
Speaker 2: I don't remember. But yeah, he got taken away in
Speaker 2: cuffs and I never saw him ever again.
Speaker 1: So you were in college during this time.
Speaker 2: Yes, this was college. And then the guy who knew
Speaker 2: him went to his court case and was like following
Speaker 2: the court case, and the guy never went to jail.
Speaker 2: He was released on parole, and then several years later
Speaker 2: he was spotted in Indianapolis and he had become a goth.
Speaker 2: So that's the end of his arc.
Speaker 3: I mean, becoming a goth is if they if pedophiles
Speaker 3: have to run free, I hope they become goths because
Speaker 3: kids are not like drawn to goths and they and
Speaker 3: you wouldn't employ a goth at a place where kids
Speaker 3: are like being a workout.
Speaker 2: Knocking on doors. Pedophiles just have toss up like goths.
Speaker 2: That's your punishment.
Speaker 3: That is interesting, like it would it would keep people,
Speaker 3: It wouldn't make it would if you got like tattoo
Speaker 3: faced gothness, it would make it so you wouldn't get
Speaker 3: employed anywhere that you could work with kids. It would
Speaker 3: be like a permanent, like keep kids away kind of thing. Yeah, Arlett,
Speaker 3: all right, that's interesting. This weekend tonal shift, I got
Speaker 3: to go see that boy from Instagram, Kellen perform eras
Speaker 3: tour and it was so awesome. It was well, you
Speaker 3: didn't get to go see.
Speaker 1: Him, you performed with him. You were like his backup dancer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which I didn't know was going to be part
Speaker 3: of it. So I was in Battle Creek, Michigan for
Speaker 3: Friday and Saturday. Shout out to every bestie who came.
Speaker 3: It was sold out shows. It was so fun to
Speaker 3: be at, so fun to just do two nights in
Speaker 3: a row and not have to travel. And like we
Speaker 3: were like at this casino with me and Ari and
Speaker 3: Sean and Anya and Emily my social media girl. Shout out, Emily,
Speaker 3: I know you're listening. And then Emily and I stayed
Speaker 3: for Sunday and went drove two hours to go see Kellen.
Speaker 3: And how this all came about, which I didn't really
Speaker 3: remember how I even found out about this little boy
Speaker 3: was that the There's a girl named Melissa who's neighbors
Speaker 3: with Kellen, and she's friends with his dad, and he
Speaker 3: lives with you know, he spends part time with his
Speaker 3: dad and part time with his mom. But his dad's
Speaker 3: house used to be next to Alyssa, and Alyssa became
Speaker 3: friends with the dad and everyone, and she loves this
Speaker 3: little boy and it's like it's like her aunt, his aunt,
Speaker 3: you know. And Alyssa and Paul, her husband, Paul, saw
Speaker 3: me on Jimmy Kimmel talking to Kamail about my love
Speaker 3: of Taylor Swift. Paul was like, Alyssa, you got to
Speaker 3: see this. Because Alyssa is a big swifty, he decided
Speaker 3: to tag me in the video of Kellen that she
Speaker 3: first put up, and so that's how I saw it
Speaker 3: and was like, oh my god, this kid's amazing. And
Speaker 3: then he kind of goes viral within the swifty community.
Speaker 3: And then yeah, and then I told this other day,
Speaker 3: but she was like, Hey, you're gonna be in Michigan.
Speaker 3: I wish we could come see you. But you know,
Speaker 3: Kellen has a show that night, and I was like,
Speaker 3: what do you mean? He as a show that night
Speaker 3: and she goes, oh, well, he's doing the Ariscon. He's
Speaker 3: like doing a show in his backyard on Saturday. And
Speaker 3: I said, man, I would go see it, but I
Speaker 3: have a show. And she goes like, well, he'll move
Speaker 3: it to Sunday if you want. And I was like okay,
Speaker 3: and so Sunday I just stuck around, extended the trip.
Speaker 3: Everyone on the tour went home except me and Emily.
Speaker 3: And Emily and I drove got driven by the casino
Speaker 3: two hours to this lake, this house on a lake,
Speaker 3: which is a beauty. Oh my god. This guy's neighborhood
Speaker 3: is so cute. Is a little boy he's nine, he's
Speaker 3: turned nine. Kellen and his sister Emery, who is thirteen
Speaker 3: I think, and she was like a stage manager. And
Speaker 3: the dad is like the sweet guy I love. I
Speaker 3: think named Chad. I want to Maybe didn't hear that correctly,
Speaker 3: but I remember it was Chad, and then a listen Paul,
Speaker 3: and then his grandmother was also there. It was just
Speaker 3: us seven and we got there and we hung out.
Speaker 3: They had a fruit tray and a veggie tray for me.
Speaker 3: They had like skinny pop it all like they had
Speaker 3: My writer was so sweet. And then I gave Kellen
Speaker 3: some presents that I got a target. I bought him
Speaker 3: like a Taylor Swift Torture Poets outfit like this, like
Speaker 3: white dress with a black choker and black gloves. And
Speaker 3: he loved it. And he was like, I already have
Speaker 3: an outfit plan for that, and I was like, it's
Speaker 3: totally fine. You don't have to wear it. You don't
Speaker 3: have to like any of this. I made it very
Speaker 3: clear I never liked I don't like giving gifts to
Speaker 3: kids because I always felt like as a kid, I
Speaker 3: had to act like I liked everything, and I always
Speaker 3: felt kind of embarrassed for the adult that was giving
Speaker 3: me stuff when I got stuff that I hated. And
Speaker 3: so I even do it with your kids, Lauren, whenever
Speaker 3: I give gifts, I'm like you, it is so okay.
Speaker 3: If you don't like this, I don't care. You can
Speaker 3: always be honest with me, like it's can hurt my feelings,
Speaker 3: like don't pretend you like something, like just never be
Speaker 3: I don't want kids to ever have to be fake
Speaker 3: to appease adults, unless you spank them and then follow
Speaker 3: the rules. But so he was really sweet. He loved it,
Speaker 3: and he was so cute, and then the show, we
Speaker 3: were just like, okay, let's like mosey onto the backyard
Speaker 3: and we sat down and he played Lady Gaga intro music,
Speaker 3: which is like the song that plays before eras. There
Speaker 3: was a countdown, and then he comes out and does
Speaker 3: all every single era almost I think he skipped. No,
Speaker 3: he didn't skip midnights. He it started getting late because
Speaker 3: it was taking a while, and his outfit changes and
Speaker 3: he had to hydrate because it was really hot out
Speaker 3: it was like in the nineties, and he's wearing these
Speaker 3: like elaborate costumes and he's giving its all and dancing
Speaker 3: and everything. So they cut the short setlist a little
Speaker 3: bit short, and which that was what I was really
Speaker 3: impressed by because I was like, I thought, oh my god,
Speaker 3: he's planned this thing for weeks, Like he has every
Speaker 3: song memorized, he has all the movements memorized. If we
Speaker 3: have to cut this short, like we're gonna have a
Speaker 3: tantrum on our because I've witnessed that. But he was
Speaker 3: just like his day's like, hey, buddy, you know, I
Speaker 3: think we're gonna have to cut down some of reputation.
Speaker 3: He goes, Okay, let's we'll do delicate, we'll skip, well,
Speaker 3: we can skip that something. Look what I made you do?
Speaker 3: Like he was just so amenable to the skips, and
Speaker 3: he had like, oh, he was totally fine with everything
Speaker 3: he would like. And then I was projecting a lot
Speaker 3: of myself onto it, like oh my god, Like if
Speaker 3: I had put this all together as a kid and
Speaker 3: I messed up at all, I would be like, stop it,
Speaker 3: we have to start over, like if everything didn't go right.
Speaker 3: But he was. There was one part it's so cute.
Speaker 3: I don't know if put it in the vlog because
Speaker 3: it's like I don't want to ever embarrass him. I
Speaker 3: just only want to celebrate the great things he did.
Speaker 3: But at one point he like sneezed in the middle
Speaker 3: of like don't blame me, lord maybe, and he was
Speaker 3: like and just six inches of snot just drips out
Speaker 3: of his nose and he's still singing with it like swinging,
Speaker 3: and then he just wipes it and wipes it on
Speaker 3: his like skirt dress thing, and this keeps the show going.
Speaker 3: You such a professional. He nailed all the notes, He
Speaker 3: had all the looks, and he had practice certain dance
Speaker 3: moves so he would kind of like look he kept
Speaker 3: raising his hand when he would need assistance, and that
Speaker 3: just met us like running up and then he'd be like, so,
Speaker 3: you guys are just trying to break free during this,
Speaker 3: and we were like, we don't even know what that means.
Speaker 3: Like he'd just give us different dance moves. He's like,
Speaker 3: and then you guys swirl and then you're gonna do
Speaker 3: this okay, And I was like, I don't know what
Speaker 3: that dance move is and he'd be like, no, actually,
Speaker 3: it's it's more like this, and he would just nail
Speaker 3: it and show it. And I'm like, this would take
Speaker 3: me weeks to learn Kellen, and he's telling us like
Speaker 3: on the fly, and me and Alissa were like his
Speaker 3: backup dancers that he asked to like come in every
Speaker 3: so often. He was just like so cool and sweet
Speaker 3: and like wanted us involved and it didn't have to
Speaker 3: be perfect. It like taught me how kids can be
Speaker 3: just so magical and lovely and just me as a kid,
Speaker 3: could never have done what he did because I was
Speaker 3: too scared of what people thought. I was too scared
Speaker 3: of not being perfect. Even now I'm like, wow, like
Speaker 3: I gotta let go of some of my perfectionism because
Speaker 3: I was even trying, like starting to project it like
Speaker 3: or I was like, why don't we do that part again, Kellen,
Speaker 3: like you can really like you miss that, But he
Speaker 3: would just keep going and just pick up where he
Speaker 3: left off, and there was no like I'm so dumb,
Speaker 3: why did I must that up? Which I see in
Speaker 3: your kids they do that a lot of like I'm
Speaker 3: stupid and like, so I was worried that it was
Speaker 3: gonna happen. But he was just like so easy going,
Speaker 3: go with the flow, so sweet, and his sister was
Speaker 3: thirteen and so appreciative of like him and like helpful
Speaker 3: and doing the costume changes the music cues because sometimes
Speaker 3: he would he would do all the music like the tour,
Speaker 3: so it doesn't go exactly with the tracks in the song.
Speaker 3: So it would be like you have to do the
Speaker 3: first verse and then you have to cut to the bridge,
Speaker 3: like you can't like and so there was a lot
Speaker 3: of different like cuts being made, and his dad was like, Okay, buddy,
Speaker 3: you wanna His dad was so worried about him hydrating
Speaker 3: because it seriously was so hot, and he was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: so you're gonna wear this dress for it? Or you're
Speaker 3: gonna wear this one. Like thank God for Dad's like
Speaker 3: Kellen's dad, because Kellen's spirit in with another like in
Speaker 3: a child that has a different kind of father or mother,
Speaker 3: or like thank God for the family and the people
Speaker 3: around Kellen because he is a beautiful boy who is
Speaker 3: just more himself than even I am after forty years
Speaker 3: of trying to be myself, and he is just and
Speaker 3: so is his sister Emory. They're just such beautiful kids
Speaker 3: that are like so loved and like allowed to be
Speaker 3: themselves in this just like just sweet supportive way that
Speaker 3: is just it's everything that's good with It made me
Speaker 3: like so proud to be an American. Oh, it was
Speaker 3: just like this, like Michigan on the lake. Performing boats
Speaker 3: were coming by, like what is going on? Like me
Speaker 3: and Kellen are just singing all too well, and people
Speaker 3: are coming by and paddle boards like what's happening? And
Speaker 3: it was just so sweet. And Emory was starting middle
Speaker 3: school today or on sorry Monday, and she was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: I'm starting middle school, and she kind of knew the
Speaker 3: gravity of that statement. She was like, oh, I'm starting
Speaker 3: middle school tomorrow. And I go okay, and I'm like
Speaker 3: packing up my it's like the end of the night,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'll tell you. I'll tell her what
Speaker 3: I said after we get up from brand Okay, we're back.
Speaker 3: So Emory's like, I'm going to middle school tomorrow and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't. I didn't even know like what
Speaker 3: I wanted to say, but I just like had to
Speaker 3: say something to her because it's obviously like so scary,
Speaker 3: and I go, listen, you're a smart girl. I'm sure
Speaker 3: you've heard about how tough it can be. And she's
Speaker 3: like yeah, and I'm like, it is tough. It's gonna
Speaker 3: be tough. Kids are mean, it sucks sometimes, but please remember,
Speaker 3: no matter what happened, you're gonna have the best time,
Speaker 3: but you're also gonna have some really bad times, just
Speaker 3: as life. But just please. And she didn't ask for this,
Speaker 3: by the way, I'm just like listen to me. I'm
Speaker 3: like holding her shoulders, like you gotta listen to me.
Speaker 3: What's Adam Sandler and what is it happy? What's the
Speaker 3: Billy Madison where it's like he holds the kid's face
Speaker 3: And it's like going, like that's what I'm doing to
Speaker 3: this girl. It's gonna be hard like, but none of
Speaker 3: it matters. I promise you. The thing that seems like
Speaker 3: it's going to devastate your life and follow you around
Speaker 3: for the rest of your life, like something that maybe
Speaker 3: some kid latches onto and makes fun of you for
Speaker 3: and the whole school knows about it, it means nothing.
Speaker 3: I promise you, no matter what, none of it means anything.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, well, that's just disparaging the
Speaker 3: whole experience. That's just like invalidating middle school is just
Speaker 3: it means nothing. You know, because sometimes I tell mom,
Speaker 3: Mom will be worried about what she's wearing, and I go, no,
Speaker 3: one's looking at you, Mom, it's not about like, and
Speaker 3: I don't mean to say that to be mean to her,
Speaker 3: but I'm just saying, like, ease up on yourself, like
Speaker 3: no one's paying attention to this much detail of your
Speaker 3: shoes plus the socks. And she goes, that is so rude,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, no, I'm not saying like no one
Speaker 3: sees you, but she's taking it that way because you
Speaker 3: do feel less seen as an older woman.
Speaker 4: But I just mean, like I think the kids though
Speaker 4: it's hard to imagine the future so much.
Speaker 3: No, because they're so presently. I was thinking, like would
Speaker 3: this have landed on me? Like, obviously I'm trying to
Speaker 3: say what I wanted someone to say to me back then,
Speaker 3: But I don't even know what I would have wanted
Speaker 3: to hear. Like if I don't know what she perceives me,
Speaker 3: does she even look at me as aspirational? She even
Speaker 3: like I hope I turn out like this girl, Like
Speaker 3: I'm putting all that on that, like she probably looks
Speaker 3: up to me. She doesn't care. I mean, she was like,
Speaker 3: will you move here? Like it was kind of cute.
Speaker 3: She was like you should move here because I was like,
Speaker 3: Chris and I should get a house up here. It's
Speaker 3: beautiful Michigan Lake.
Speaker 1: God, Michigan's gorgeous.
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to live here, Like why not?
Speaker 3: Like what is holding me? Family?
Speaker 2: You should have pulled her up to you and said, like, listen,
Speaker 2: you have to know about middle school. Your friend Jen
Speaker 2: is a bitch and she will betray you.
Speaker 3: What do you think?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 3: Like what do you even say to it?
Speaker 1: Is?
Speaker 3: Because I don't know that.
Speaker 1: Be sure of yourself, like be confident, Like that's the
Speaker 1: biggest thing. If you don't care what people think about
Speaker 1: how do you part that I know you can't so
Speaker 1: like you are an amazing person, You're a good person.
Speaker 3: Well I think so much to offer me that. I
Speaker 3: think that is good. But that takes a lot longer
Speaker 3: than just like here's twenty seconds of me giving you
Speaker 3: a pitch, like I was trying to think of the
Speaker 3: elevator pitch for like making it through middle school. And
Speaker 3: to me, it's about I just always thought things would
Speaker 3: follow me forever. I really did, Like I just thought
Speaker 3: there was no way.
Speaker 1: What trauma did you have?
Speaker 3: You know, like people finding out I peed, my wet
Speaker 3: my bad, people finding out that I picked my nose
Speaker 3: in sixth grade and that girl saw it and she
Speaker 3: told everyone. People finding out that my backpack is from
Speaker 3: Goodwill or like whatever the fuck it was like, or
Speaker 3: me wearing ugly shoes one day and one kid saying
Speaker 3: something and then everyone like kind of knowing that I
Speaker 3: have ugly shoes, like literal shit like that would be
Speaker 3: like I'll never outgrow this. And I don't know if
Speaker 3: anyone telling me that I would that it doesn't matter
Speaker 3: would have actually landed. Yeah, But what didn't help, which
Speaker 3: I think is said a lot, is that high school
Speaker 3: is the best years of your life or childhood, Like
Speaker 3: I wish I could go back to middle school was
Speaker 3: the best. That fucks with you because you go, oh, well,
Speaker 3: then if this isn't good, what's the point of any
Speaker 3: of it? And then I'm I'm then you know, I
Speaker 3: just I just want to prevent kids from ever hurting themselves,
Speaker 3: because that is something that like, I just feel like
Speaker 3: when you have such an underdeveloped brain and things seem
Speaker 3: so catastrophic and that there are kids that do that
Speaker 3: and you hear stories of that. It's like when I
Speaker 3: was in middle school, I didn't hear about kids doing that,
Speaker 3: and I think if I would have, it would have
Speaker 3: been like maybe a thing. I would have been like,
Speaker 3: maybe I'll try that. So I just like I am trying
Speaker 3: to Like, this girl's really strong and she did have
Speaker 3: a strong sense of self and I'm actually not worried
Speaker 3: about her.
Speaker 4: But she's gonna be okay because of the home that
Speaker 4: she lives and are very encouraging and.
Speaker 3: And I think that's rich.
Speaker 4: That's what kids need.
Speaker 3: They're definitely fine.
Speaker 2: I mean, if she's got a cabin on a lake,
Speaker 2: she's gonna have plenty of friends.
Speaker 3: It's not a cabin. It's just a house. But that's
Speaker 3: what I liked about it. Like, that's what I like
Speaker 3: about Michigan is that these people don't seem insanely rich,
Speaker 3: which I think I'm kind of disgusted by. They just
Speaker 3: seem like they're doing great and yet the lake is nice.
Speaker 3: Like it's not like I feel like there's lake living.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry to like when Chris talks about getting a
Speaker 3: lake house in Missouri. I'm just like where people just
Speaker 3: like dump you know, red Bull into like they'll just like,
Speaker 3: we'll fill it up with you know, red Bull because
Speaker 3: there's a drought, Like who cares. They're like fucking catfish
Speaker 3: and they're like coming all over different things. Like I
Speaker 3: just feel like Missouri doesn't really respect I just feel
Speaker 3: like lake living. It's just like Arah disturbing wildlife, plunging
Speaker 3: through this off roading through these rocks and messing up
Speaker 3: all these ants. Like you don't realize when you're like
Speaker 3: off roading through shallow creeks and driving through all the shit,
Speaker 3: you're killing thousands of organisms, literal thousands, if not millions
Speaker 3: of species of animals because you're, like I love nature.
Speaker 1: Disrupting their habitat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and being loud, and Michigan just felt like people
Speaker 3: have like I'm sure there's that going on there too,
Speaker 3: but I'm like, I want to go to Michigan Lakes
Speaker 3: where it seems even though flint is notoriously dirty water like,
Speaker 3: the water seems pure. It doesn't seem like people are
Speaker 3: distracting nature. I just am always like, what if sorry
Speaker 3: to get political. Final thought. If you love the if
Speaker 3: you love hunting and nature so much, why do you
Speaker 3: want to vote for someone who doesn't give a fuck
Speaker 3: about any of it? If you love wildlife and buck
Speaker 3: hunting and being out and camping and off roading and
Speaker 3: four wheeling and all fishing, which I think a lot
Speaker 3: of people enjoy, why do you want to vote for
Speaker 3: someone who wants to ruin at all, who doesn't give
Speaker 3: a fuck about any of it?
Speaker 2: Why he doesn't vote. He doesn't believe in climate change.
Speaker 2: That's the difference. They don't believe because.
Speaker 3: Well, that's actually a helpful thing that actually makes sense
Speaker 3: to me, because if you love nature and you don't
Speaker 3: believe in climate change, you think that everything will be
Speaker 3: okay everything, And I think that is that I just
Speaker 3: answer my question. They just think everything will be okay,
Speaker 3: but just know that if you enjoy parks, they don't
Speaker 3: have any respect for those.
Speaker 2: I will say this, I've been to a great many
Speaker 2: national parks in our country, and by far the most
Speaker 2: despicable park I've been to because of the people was
Speaker 2: Hot Springs, which is in Arkansas, and going there it
Speaker 2: was like there was like a motorcycle and loud car
Speaker 2: parade happening twenty four to seven down the main street
Speaker 2: of Hot Springs. The people were disgusting and awful. I
Speaker 2: could not bear to be there for longer than five.
Speaker 3: It's not everyone down there, and everyone in Michigan is
Speaker 3: not like respectful and just like smelling the air and
Speaker 3: just only listening to like you know, gongs chiming as
Speaker 3: they meditate by the lake. Like ever, listen, this is
Speaker 3: happens everywhere, but there is we loudness in nature, fireworks
Speaker 3: setting off fireworks around nature. It's disgusting. It really is
Speaker 3: something that we need to like look into and be like, wow,
Speaker 3: we need to wake up and not do fireworks anymore
Speaker 3: on Fourth of July because it makes animals abandon their babies.
Speaker 3: They're freaked out. They don't understand it. They they don't
Speaker 3: know that you love America and that's why you're doing
Speaker 3: it like they they doesn't. They're not like, Wow, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3: Beavers aren't like look kids like.
Speaker 2: And traumatized George Washington. That's the only time you can
Speaker 2: get to do that.
Speaker 3: It's like there's nature is being totally destroyed. But like
Speaker 3: you're right, like, I I don't like going to Lauren
Speaker 3: just said Naglajaus And I hope that you didn't think
Speaker 3: she said anything except that because when you were talking
Speaker 3: about when you were talking about Arkansas, we we know
Speaker 3: some people from Arkansas and one time they were we
Speaker 3: were kids and we were hanging out with these people
Speaker 3: that we are friends, our family is friends with and
Speaker 3: the kids were telling they were just like teenagers, like
Speaker 3: trying to be like kind of.
Speaker 1: They were like preteens, yeah they were, but they were
Speaker 1: talking about yeah we like we were, and we were
Speaker 1: like what are.
Speaker 3: They're like, We're gonna say the law, and we were like,
Speaker 3: we don't know what that is. So we just kept
Speaker 3: calling them negla how because we didn't know. We come
Speaker 3: to find out they were saying naked live hose really fast.
Speaker 3: So we just call them nay laws. Now the people
Speaker 3: were talking about like strippers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they wanted to see.
Speaker 3: They were eleven years old and these little boys were
Speaker 3: going negla hows and we were and we.
Speaker 5: Thought it was the little joke about it till twenty
Speaker 5: twenty years later.
Speaker 2: The solution to fireworks is forthcoming. And if you followed,
Speaker 2: you kept up with this curerent season if America's got talent,
Speaker 2: which I oh, that's right. Oh, so you know about.
Speaker 1: Drones of the future.
Speaker 3: I have seen the drones. It's a peaceful firework and
Speaker 3: it's beautiful and you can get much better visuals and
Speaker 3: shapes and words.
Speaker 2: I think that people are gonna say fireworks are lame
Speaker 2: drones or what's what? Can we saw that in Vegas?
Speaker 2: I remember we saw the drones in Vegas.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like they're already using them a lot.
Speaker 3: But I can't wait for like it to apparent embarrassing
Speaker 3: to use fireworks like I can't wait for that term
Speaker 3: in culture where we realize, oh my god, this disrupts
Speaker 3: the environment. And first of all, dogs it's just education.
Speaker 1: Nobody is I mean, people are slowly realizing yeah that
Speaker 1: it just it's affecting.
Speaker 2: I's not gonna work. Making them slowly realize that it
Speaker 2: has negative effects on nature is not gonna work. It
Speaker 2: needs to be They're not that cool, They're lame, they're boring.
Speaker 2: That's how you get.
Speaker 3: Them being Yeah. Well, Chris sent me a bumper sticker
Speaker 3: of a guy in his car. He saw it on
Speaker 3: Reddit and it said only gay cops pull me over. No,
Speaker 3: only gay cops give me a ticket. So it's only
Speaker 3: for like he gets pulled over, and then that cop
Speaker 3: has to make a decision, like the worst thing a
Speaker 3: cop I can imagine. What Like the cop where this
Speaker 3: guy's from is like, I'm not gay, So like if
Speaker 3: he writes the ticket the guy, he is saying he's
Speaker 3: gay based on the bumper sticker, but he's also like,
Speaker 3: can't give into the bubber sticker.
Speaker 6: But like I think most cops would just go, like fine,
Speaker 6: a report that in there's like this I saw this,
Speaker 6: like you know, frontline episode type whatever TikTok where they
Speaker 6: were doing a news report about these these two black people.
Speaker 3: And I think in the Deep South that have like
Speaker 3: a Trump store that's like pro Trump, and they sell
Speaker 3: this thing called the white Privileged card, and it looks
Speaker 3: like an American Express card, but it's like it's white
Speaker 3: and it just says white privileged card, like I'm white
Speaker 3: since blah blah blah or whatever. And the reporter goes
Speaker 3: who buys these, and they go white people, and then
Speaker 3: it goes into this whole thing of like people, the
Speaker 3: people that were buying the cargo. Yeah, I give this,
Speaker 3: and when they ask for my license, I give them this,
Speaker 3: and I get let out of tickets all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I saw that, kid.
Speaker 3: I can't believe that would work, So try it now.
Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. I'm getting vanity license plate. Did I
Speaker 3: tell you guys this?
Speaker 1: You told me.
Speaker 3: I'll talk about it on the the the pay walled episode,
Speaker 3: because I don't want people knowing what my license plate
Speaker 3: is unless you pay for it, which we have coming
Speaker 3: up or doing right after this. We have a show
Speaker 3: for you tomorrow, though. Don't worry. If you don't pay extra,
Speaker 3: you can and then you can get that special unfiltered
Speaker 3: episode that we're doing if you want to become a
Speaker 3: big Money Player's Diamond member and plus no commercials, which,
Speaker 3: by the way, I'm a big Diamond Diamond member, so
Speaker 3: I don't listen to my own show, but I listened
Speaker 3: to last Culture Lisa's and I am like for a while,
Speaker 3: I was like, I love that they have no ads.
Speaker 3: How does this really popular podcast have no ads? And
Speaker 3: then I was like, oh, because I'm a Diamond member
Speaker 3: and I'm zipping through no ads is amazing, you guys.
Speaker 3: So if you want to pay, I think it's five
Speaker 3: ninety nine a month for a month something like that.
Speaker 3: You get an extra episode every month from us, and
Speaker 3: you get no ads on all the big money shows,
Speaker 3: which include a lot of hilarious.
Speaker 2: And if you use the code besties at checkout work
Speaker 2: but you.
Speaker 3: Be typing in that's so funny. All right, guys, thank
Speaker 3: you for listening. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye me, Thanks Lauren,
Speaker 3: It'll be me Himes Gobika. The Nicki Glazer podcast is
Speaker 3: a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 3: Created and hosted by Me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by
Speaker 3: Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and
Speaker 3: Noah Avior edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video
Speaker 3: production Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina. You can
Speaker 3: now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube,
Speaker 3: follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel