WEBVTT - You Are Not the Father 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:17.040 and the Black Effect. Oh shit, we wanna air. Welcome 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:20.880 back to yet another actually the second to last episode 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:24.360 of season two's Carefully Reckless. What's Your Girl? Just hilarious. 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:26.400 Now we're gonna jump right into just fix My Mess. 0:00:26.560 --> 0:00:28.840 As I told y'all, I was just a renewed for 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:31.120 a season three, So I ain't going nowhere. I'm gonna 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:32.839 be right here with y'all, and I'm going to keep 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:35.360 on fixing y'all mess until y'all ain't got no more 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:37.440 mess to fix. All right, We're gonna jump right in. 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:41.520 We do not have voice memos again this week, because 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.720 I said, these people is these these females and these males, 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:47.879 they're catching on, y'all voice, y'all, they're catching on. So 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:49.960 y'all might have to go back to just strictly typing 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:53.520 unless you don't care. Here we go. I've been raising 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:57.120 my ex wife's daughter for over fifteen years. She's nineteen now. 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:59.800 She doesn't know that I'm not her real father, and 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:03.080 up until recently, I haven't had any problem doing so. 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:05.720 But her mother and her family all of a sudden 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:08.759 wants to invade and come in between me and my 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:11.360 daughter when they didn't care or help me raise her 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.400 in the first place. I want custody of her and 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.640 my other children after the divorce. I'm stuck going through 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:20.920 this inside battle of whether or not I should inform 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:23.080 her that I'm not her real father, or should I 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:25.960 just keep it quiet, because lately she's been interacting with 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:29.000 her mother and that side of the family more and 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:34.040 she's acting different. So that's all he said. All right, 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:36.280 all right, now, listen, I just want to first and 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:39.880 foremost say thank you, brother for submitting your story. You 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:42.240 are a man, and I often say men do not 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.760 open up and they do not open up to women. 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:49.840 So I want to first and foremost recognize you for 0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:52.800 being vulnerable enough to give me this story, you know, 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:55.400 and to let me hear your story or whatever, because 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.720 I know this is not something that you would probably 0:01:57.760 --> 0:01:59.880 just go around telling people, you know, whether that be 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:03.200 your friends, your barber, your pastor whoever you confide and 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:05.640 whatever guy you can fide. And I thank you for 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:10.880 coming to me. Okay, now, this is not your biological daughter, 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:14.040 but you have raised her for fifteen years. You met 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:16.359 her mother and she was four when you met her mother, 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.840 you married her mom, and you took her on as 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:22.040 one of your children, and you have other children biologically 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:24.480 with her mother as well. Who was your wife? Who 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:26.640 is now your ex wife? All right now, from what 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:29.040 I just read, it seems like you are currently in 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:30.920 the middle of the divorce. Let me ask you a 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:33.399 couple of questions, because you gave me a short breath, 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:34.880 you got straight to the point. But I just have 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:36.640 a little bit of questions and I would like for 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:41.239 you to follow up with me in this. So what 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:44.280 first of all caused you to to split? If you 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:46.480 don't mind me asking that, if it has nothing to 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:49.880 do with you know, your daughter you feel like or 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:52.079 you know, if it has nothing to do with why 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:55.520 you think your ex wife is acting this way, you know, 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:57.880 putting stuff in your daughter's head, because that's what could 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:00.079 be going on. If you feel like the re and 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.200 that you guys end it doesn't have anything to do 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.800 with how your daughter is acting now or what your 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:06.520 wife could have your ex wife could have told her, 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.280 then we don't have to go into it. But why 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:13.160 what ended you? Guys? Also, do you think that her 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:17.320 mother has reconvened not reconciled, but I mean reconvene, like 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.320 just reach out with her ex and this is your 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.480 daughter's biological father. Do you think that there has been 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:27.480 some conversation between your ex wife and him that what 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.560 prompt him to want to meet his daughter or be 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:34.600 in his daughter's life. Or do you think that your 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:38.720 ex wife is just being bitter trying to take the 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:42.600 only child that's not biologically yours from you because she 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:44.680 knows that's a way to hurt you. You have to 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.240 think of all these things, you know, and then you 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:51.120 didn't quite ask me a question as it relates to advice, 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:53.440 But I think that you will want to know where 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:56.520 you go from here. It's gonna be hard getting custody 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:00.920 of your daughter because she's not by logically yours, and 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:03.200 we know how fucked up the court system can be 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:08.720 and unfair they can be when it comes to situations 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:12.960 like this. Unfortunately, she would have to sign her rights 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:16.320 over to you because you are not baby girl's real father, 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.799 you know, biological I don't want to say real father, 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:21.680 because you are indeed a real father to her. I 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.000 don't have a doubt about that in my mind. You're 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:26.560 sitting here telling me you want to get custody of her, 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:30.360 and you've raised her for fifteen for fifteen years when 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:33.279 nobody else did anything, and you stepped in and you 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:35.560 did that, and that little girl is always going to 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:39.320 love you for that. But I also can't ignore when 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:42.120 you said she is now acting funny. Now take into 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:46.760 account her age. She's nineteen. She's just seen her parents split. 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:49.520 You know, you two, you and her mother, you got split. 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.000 I don't know how nasty the divorce was. I don't 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:53.960 know how much she was exposed to. I don't know 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:56.279 if she saw the negative of it and didn't see 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.599 it in a positive light. You guys were together since 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:01.960 she was or you are all she knows, you know. 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:06.240 So I don't know if this divorce is playing a 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:09.719 big part in how she's acting. You know, maybe she 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:13.040 just wants you two together. Maybe people are putting things 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:14.640 in her head. She's been spending a lot of time 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:17.840 with her mom in that side, and and you know, 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:21.440 she may be even getting a little curious because she 0:05:21.560 --> 0:05:24.600 may have heard someone say that, ain't your dad, that's 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:28.040 just your your mom's ex husband. You were already here 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.840 when she met your father. You know what I'm saying, 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.400 you were already here when she met you. Know your name. 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.200 I don't want to say your name. Well, actually don't 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:37.280 know it, but you know, I want to keep this 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:41.440 all anonymous. I think also another way to look at 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:45.279 her acting funny and you being a little up in 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:47.719 the air with telling her that you're not our real father, 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:51.680 her biological father, in her seeking whoever he is or whatever. 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:55.240 I think that you should look at it this way. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:57.520 I watch a lot of paternity court and honey, and 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.279 that is not your life. I'm not trying to, you know, 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.720 and inflict anything on you or project what I have 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.640 seen on you, because I don't know your situation up 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.160 and down, back and forth, inside and out. I know 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:11.080 what you told me, But you have to leave room 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:17.360 for a child who never knew or never have been 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.880 close or had a close relationship with one of her 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:23.760 biological parents. You have to leave room for them to 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:26.000 want to do that, to grow up and actually want 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.880 to know who their real dad is, especially if someone 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:31.240 already put that bug in their ear that ain't your 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:33.360 real dad, so and so ain't your real dad. That's 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:36.719 going to open me up to you know, me speaking 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:39.280 as your daughter. That's going to open me up to, oh, well, 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:41.440 who is my real dad? And it's going to be 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:45.360 no love loss for my dad that has raised me, 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:47.839 the only dad that I've known. But I would like 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.520 to know where I come from. I would like to 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:53.640 know why I act this way sometimes and I don't 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:55.800 get it from my mother. I would like to know 0:06:56.560 --> 0:07:00.200 why the other half of me is this way and 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:03.760 it's not like you, dad. Maybe she has questions that 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:06.280 she would like to ask this man, why haven't you 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:08.200 ever come for me? Why did you let another man 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:10.400 take on the role of my real father? Why did 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:13.600 you let another man raise me? But what happened? What 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.120 did I do? You know? Maybe she just has these questions. 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:20.000 She's nineteen, you know, so she is growing into a 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:26.880 young adult, and she is well entitled to know her 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:30.360 biological father. This may not be something that you want 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:33.040 to hear, and then, you know, it could be many 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.360 reasons why you don't even want her to go down 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.600 that road or why you don't you know, don't think 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:40.760 it's it's suitable for her to meet him or to 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:43.560 take him on as a dad or start a relationship 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:46.360 with him. You may know things about him. Let me 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:49.360 put her in danger, you know, You may know things 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:51.000 about him that that's not good for her, that you 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.000 don't want her to be exposed to. You may not 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:55.000 just want her to be let down again because this 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.000 man has done this shit to her before for a 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:00.520 fucking fourteen years. So I do understand why you're trying 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:06.120 to protect your baby girl. She is definitely entitled and 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:10.080 well within her right to know who her biological daddy is, 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:12.480 and that doesn't take anything from you. I think you 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:14.000 need to go and take your baby to lunch, and 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:15.360 you need to talk to her and try to get 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:17.080 inside of her head. You've been raising her for the 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:20.520 last fifteen years. You know her, you know her, you 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:22.760 know that's how you're able to see that she's acting funny. 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.840 Take her and sit her down and talk to her. 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:27.680 That's your daughter. She may not be yours biologically, but 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:32.120 you are her daddy. So I think that you should 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:35.480 talk to her without her mom. Without you know, she's 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:39.160 old enough to understand everything that you'll ask her, Ask 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:40.839 her what's going on, and get inside of her mind. 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:42.720 Let her know you'll always be there for her, but 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:46.120 let her know it is indeed her decision if she 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:49.280 wants to meet her real father. I think you should 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:51.440 be honest with her and tell her that, no, I 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:56.160 am not your biological father, but I raised you since 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.720 you were four. I cannot stop looking at you like 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:02.000 you're not mine. You are mine, but I'm willing to 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:06.000 share you with your biological dad if that's what you want, 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:07.960 Because at the end of the day, it's all about her. 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.840 Forget the wife or you know, forget her mom, forget 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.400 you know. This is about you and your baby and 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:16.360 whatever she wants, you have to support her in that. 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:18.120 So I want you to do that, and I want 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:20.120 you to answer those questions for me, write me back, 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:22.800 update me if you can, and if you want to. 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.679 Like I said, you're already doing something that you probably 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:29.280 don't usually do, and that's open up about your personal life. 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.840 You know so, and I totally commend you on raising 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:36.400 someone else's child as yours. Honestly, that's why a lot 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:38.480 of men don't get married to women with a lot 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.559 of kids, or even just one kid. My son's dad 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:43.120 don't even like dating women with children, as if he 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:46.080 ain't got eighty five of them. But sometimes that's just 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.480 the man's preference, and we have to respect that, just 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:51.280 like we have to respect a woman's preference, we have 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:55.240 to respect a man's preference as well. Talk to her, 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.840 talk to your baby. You seem like you want well, 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:00.440 you mean well, and you seem like you do well 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:04.480 by her. You do great by her. So I'm check 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:07.120 back in with me. Thank you. If you love me, 0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.520 you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:13.920 back moving on. Oh look, did she getting straight to 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:16.880 the point. Honey? She said, I need in baby daddy 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:19.800 got weird after I bossed up and got a tax company. 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.199 He's in the streets and was taking care of me. 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:25.079 Now I'm making my own bag and he even acting 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:28.520 funny with my son. Helped me with like thirty two 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:32.720 exclamation points. Okay, so girl, you gave me a little bit, 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:35.679 but I understand what you gave, but you could have 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:37.240 gave me a little bit more. Girl. I need to 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:41.079 figure girl, I'm gonna get your ass all right. So 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.320 you said your baby daddy got weird after you bossed 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:46.120 up and got your own company. You got a tax company. Okay, cool, 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:49.079 So for everybody who needs their taxes done. Damn, I 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.320 can't even put your business out there. I can't even 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:56.360 you know, help you grow your business, get you some clients, 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:59.280 because this is anonymous and I will not say your name. Okay, okay, 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.240 you have a tax company and your baby daddy is 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:04.240 in the streets on the other hand, so he is 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:06.760 doing his thing out there in the streets or whatever, 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:09.400 and he was taking care of you. But you bossed 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:12.000 up on him and you you went legit. You wanted 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:15.839 a legitimate business, and I guess he got tired of 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:18.360 you not needing him anymore, is what it sounds like, 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:20.880 because he wanted you to need him. Guys really like that. 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:23.480 They wanted to have a sense of power and not 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:26.760 saying want to control you. But maybe that's really what 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:29.200 it was about him. He wanted he wanted you to 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.600 need him for something. You have his child, so that's 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:36.760 an obligation right there. That's an attachment factor right there. 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.360 You guys have a baby and you said your son, 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:42.120 So your baby boy, he's not even doing anything for 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:45.880 him anymore because he's very spiteful and bitter at the 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.160 fact that you bossed up and now you don't need him. 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:50.600 I feel like you're leaving some shut out. I feel 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.560 like something is it that that ain't that ain't unless 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:55.440 he ain't in his right mind, he should want his 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:59.320 baby mama to boss up legitimately. That could motivate him 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.400 to get off there, or even to clean his money, 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:03.559 as they say, because you know how a nigga always 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:07.000 want to clean his money baby through somebody that's legit. However, 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:08.880 you ain't say all of that. You ain't say a 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:10.880 lot of shit, and I think you're keeping it away. 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:12.560 You asked me to help you. I don't know how 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.319 to help your ass. I mean, you ain't telling me nothing. 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.400 You ain't telling me nothing, and I know you ain't, 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:19.000 and I don't care. So I ain't gonna give you 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:21.520 no advice as of right now until you come back 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:24.200 and you let me know the real all right, you 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:27.280 let me know exactly what's going on. What did you 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:29.920 do to him? What did he do to you? What 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.160 do you think it is other than you bossing up? 0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:34.320 Did you meet somebody? Did he find out that she 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.040 was sucking with somebody else? Did you go back to 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:41.760 an X? Did you something? Did you constantly put him 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:43.680 down when he was in the streets when you went 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:46.000 legit when you got your tax company, did you down 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.200 him because he was still in the streets? Did you 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:50.000 try to degrade him in any way because you said 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.079 he took care of you. He took care of you, 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.800 because if that happened, he could in return feel like, 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.160 oh bitch, I was saying, can you wasn't You weren't 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.280 shriving off the street money when it was taking of you? 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:03.160 You know what I'm saying. When you was living the 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.120 lavish lifestyle. I don't know how lavish it was, but 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:07.360 you said he took care of you. You didn't have 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.400 anything to say about it, or maybe you did as 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.040 something to say about it, but you ain't had that 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:12.720 much to say where you wanted me to stop because 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:16.200 you were being taken care of. Now you get your business, 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.880 and that was fuck me, tell me what happened, because 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.720 there's something you ain't saying, baby girl. And when you 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:25.480 do give me more clarity, I will help you fix 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:27.760 your mess up and down. Now we got a commercial, 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:29.600 and if you click off of this podcast, I swear 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:35.800 I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, moving on, I'm submitting 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:37.760 my story and I don't think anyone can fix this 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.839 mess at all. My kids. Dad is only top tier 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:43.360 when we are fucking period. He thinks he can just 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:46.320 get whatever he wants regarding our kids and disappear when 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.720 he wants, pay what he wants, get them when he wants, 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:52.840 throws court up in my face. He done been with 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:55.560 multiple stalker women, women that have threatened my kids, and 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.480 he continues to be a terror. I want nothing more 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:01.319 for us to be friends and raise our kids. He 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.200 needs to hear how dumb he's being. We used to 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.480 be able to co parent to a degree. Now it's 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.959 all bad. I really need a phone conversation to provide detail. 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:12.720 But we need Jesus and a public eye. Well, first 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:13.959 of all, you're gonna have to pick. You can't have 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.199 Jesus and a public eye all at the same time, 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:20.320 because it gotta be something private enough for you to 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.120 get this shit together behind closed doors and then bring 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:26.000 it to the forefront so y'all can be ready to 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.600 teach others who's going through this ship right now that 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:31.800 y'all going through. So you find Jesus first and then 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:35.200 a public eye in that order, is what I'm talking about. 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:36.960 But first we're gonna start with me trying to fix 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.360 your mess, all right, So in the beginning, that was 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:41.440 very interesting. I think I read a story like this 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:43.560 before you say no, you don't think nobody can fix 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.040 this at all. And listen, that tells me that it 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:49.280 is fresh and new because you wanted to just be 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:51.080 over with like a snap of a finger, and it 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:54.040 don't go like that. You and this man obviously have 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:58.400 been together for a long time. You guys not only 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.240 have one kid, you have kids. And what I mean 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:04.280 when I say fresh, I mean you guys are freshly done, 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:08.280 not just fresh meeting each other. I'm talking about y'all 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.840 can't seem to let each other go. And that's probably 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.040 where the women comes in. He's trying to use the 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.920 women as a distraction to get over you because you're 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:20.120 still fucking him. Like you said, he's only compliant when 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.680 we're fucking stop fucking him and stand on it and 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:27.360 stand by it. You know, feelings get all involved and shit, 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.560 and you probably a little bit more over him than 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:33.320 he is over you. So he gets upset every time 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:35.320 you go sleep with him, thinking that it's hope for 0:15:35.360 --> 0:15:37.920 y'all to get back together. And when you shut it down, 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.640 he shut you down and the kids, which is not bad. 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:45.680 I'm not justifying it. Believe that pussy out of the equation. Girl, 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.040 you better wrap that snap and turt up. Get a 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:51.000 damn turtleneck for it. You don't need to be sleeping 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:53.040 with him. You know he hain't in his right mind. Shit, 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:57.880 he got bitches threatening your damn babies. All of that. Now, 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:00.480 I don't think that he would ever let me ask 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.880 you that. I don't even know, y'all, But do you 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:06.960 think he would let actually let a woman hurt you 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.960 guys children? You know your children. Do you think that 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.080 he would actually really do that? Or if this is 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.080 something just to get back at you? You know what 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:16.960 I'm saying, because I feel like he is very bitter 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:19.480 because and then I can't even say he better because 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:21.440 you're the one leading them on. I think I think 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:24.560 you don't know how strong that shit is in between 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.640 your legs. I really feel like you don't know. I 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:30.280 feel like you use him for sexual convenience and he 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:32.720 wants more, and I feel like you're done there, or 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.720 you use him for is sex. You just want him 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:39.440 to be a great daddy to your kids and a 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:41.680 great daddy in the bed every now and then, which 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:43.920 you can't have that, and expect for him to act 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:47.000 saying I need for you to cut all of that 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:50.120 shit out that you got going on. That's where it starts, 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:53.320 but on a more serious, serious series. And I was 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:55.160 serious about everything I say. I trust and believe. But 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:58.480 on a more serious, serious note, he needs to check 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.080 the women that he is bringing around the kids. I 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:06.480 wouldn't be okay with no other woman being around my children. 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:09.159 If you're threatening my children, you know that means he 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:14.040 doesn't have his children's best interest. And have you brought 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.080 this up to him? Have you guys talked about it? 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:17.960 Like like what is it? And then how is he 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:20.040 throwing court up in your face? Court? Court? Court? Like? 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:22.720 What is he threatening to take the children? As he 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:24.920 threatening to get joint custody? Is he threatening to take 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.560 you down to How does he threaten you with court? 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:31.040 I want to know that. And you said multiple stalker women? 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:35.520 So now are they stalking you? Are they stalking you 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:38.680 and the kids? Are they stalking him? I need to know. 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:42.919 I need to God damn no, And are you dating somebody? 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:44.640 I need to know that as well, because that also 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:47.359 will play a part in his bitterness as well, because 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:49.320 he may feel like, damn, how the fucking you just 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:50.920 feel like you can fuck me when you want? Then 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:52.600 you dating this person, and they're not supposed to be 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:54.840 just in complying over here. Just got it like he's 0:17:54.840 --> 0:18:00.080 too deep in his feelings to separate Daddy from Zaddy. 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:03.200 I like that he's too in his feelings to separate 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:08.639 Daddy from Zaddy. Okay, And it's like you ain't helping it, 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:11.840 miss ma'am. And you know this man more than any 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:13.840 of these other women know this man, So I think 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.679 you know what you're doing. You just want to be 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:18.800 able to have your cake and eat it too, and 0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:21.120 you're not ready to assess him when he has these 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.960 little temper tantrums and shit, because that's exactly what it is. 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.560 You said that he continues to be a terror and 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.480 you want nothing more than for you guys to be friends. 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:31.200 It sound like y'all need to come on co parenting 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:32.919 with me at Rome. That's what the hell is sound like. 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:36.280 It's sounding like that. So I need for when you 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:38.879 update me, miss ma'am, you need to let me know 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:40.480 where you are and how we can get you on 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.879 the show. You and him then if he's willing to 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:46.119 do so. Because you said you need a public eye, honey, 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.840 I'm gonna put you in front of a public eye. 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:51.040 All right, I'm gonna give you the public eye. I 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:54.879 just need for you to stop sleeping with him, especially 0:18:55.080 --> 0:19:00.000 if you really, really really want that bond with him 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:04.040 outside of intimacy, if you really really want to look 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:06.920 up and be like me and Rome, we're really really 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.199 good friends. We will never stop being good friends. It 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:11.000 is what it is. It's always going to be that way. 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.879 If you really want that, you have to stop intimately 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:16.400 messing with him like you. You can't sleep with him bad, 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:19.440 you can't. Now. If that's what you want, then go 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:21.760 get your man, go get your baby daddy and make 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:23.760 them your man again. But if that ain't what you want, 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:27.520