1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls Podcasts, a 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. 7 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning 8 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a 9 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, 10 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for Session seventy seven 11 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Today we're going 12 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: to be talking all about the truth about self care. 13 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: But before we dive into that conversation, I want to 14 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: show are a few announcements. First, I want to correct 15 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: a mistake I made in session seventy four that was 16 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,680 Speaker 1: all about body image and black women athletes. I mistakenly 17 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: said that Natalie Grieves, who was our guest expert for 18 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 1: that episode, was in Michigan. But she's actually in Chicago, 19 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: So if you're looking to connect with her in her practice, 20 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: she's definitely in Chicago. You can find all of her 21 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: information in the show notes for that episode at Therapy 22 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com slash session. Secondly, my birthday 23 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: is next week yea, and as a true Libra, of course, 24 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 1: I am celebrating all month long. To help me celebrate, 25 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: I'd love for you to participate in the thirty one 26 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: Days of Affirmations campaign that I have partnered with the 27 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: think Up App to host. Each day, we're sharing a 28 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: new affirmation across our social media platforms that you can 29 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: add to your think up playlist. At the end of 30 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: the month, if you'd like to make a short video 31 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: about how adding affirmations to your routines has been helpful, 32 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: you can be entered to win a premium version of 33 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: the think Up App and a copy of The Self 34 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,799 Speaker 1: Care Affirmation Journal, which is the new book from our 35 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,519 Speaker 1: featured guest for today. To read more about the challenge, 36 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 1: head on over to Therapy for Black Girls dot com 37 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: slash Affirmations and join us for today's conversation. I'm joined 38 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: by Maria Davis Pierre. Maria is a licensed therapist, coach, speaker, 39 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: and advocate in Florida. She is also the founder of 40 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: Autism in Black which aims to provide support to black 41 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 1: parents who have a child on the spectrum through educational 42 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: and advocacy services. Maria and I chatted all about what 43 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: self care actually is, how self care has been commercialized, 44 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: why it's so important for us to practice self care 45 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 1: as black women, and of course, she shared her favorite 46 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: resources to help you develop your own self care plan. 47 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: Please share your thoughts about the episode as you're listening 48 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:12,239 Speaker 1: with us all on social media using the hashtag tv 49 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: G in Session. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much 50 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: for joining us today, Maria, Thank you for having me. Yes, 51 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: I'm excited to chat with you because I know self 52 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: care is like the buzzword now right, like everybody has 53 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: a list about self care, self care boxes, like you 54 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,920 Speaker 1: can find self care stuff all over the police. But 55 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: I did want to make sure that we had a 56 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: conversation about self care that's really kind of grounded in 57 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: what we do as therapists, because I do feel like 58 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: in some ways we've kind of gotten away from what 59 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: self care really is. Um, so so let's start there. Then, 60 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: How would you describe self care for me? And what 61 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: I described to my clients as self care being is 62 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: more of mental health, mental wellness. Sometimes when we are 63 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: seeing all those lists and you know, buzzwords about self care, 64 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: people are automatically thinking of, oh, I need a seven 65 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: day trip to Jamaica, I need to be at the 66 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: spa and things like that, when self care is more 67 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: about taking care of your mental health and mental wellness. 68 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: So it could be something as simple as, um, sitting 69 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: in your car for ten minutes before going in your 70 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 1: home and disconnecting from work and now getting ready for 71 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: your natural of being you know, wife, mom and whatever. Okay, 72 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: so really you know, and I kind of think about 73 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: it that way to like what kinds of things do 74 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,599 Speaker 1: you need to do to recharge yourself? Yes? Yeah, yeah? 75 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 1: So what are some examples of things maybe you work 76 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: with your clients on, like how to help them establish 77 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: self care practices. One, we look at self esteem. You 78 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 1: know where they at with their self esteem, So we 79 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: do self esteem exercises. Uh, you know, things that you 80 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: know trigger them to have anxiety depression, things like that. 81 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 1: We look at those triggers and then we come up 82 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: with a plan of how to address those triggers because 83 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: you know, a lot of times we can't get away 84 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: from things that trigger us. So we set up a 85 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: plan on how to address it, so that way, when 86 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: we feel those feelings of anxiety and depression or frustration, 87 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: we can go back to our plan and deal with it. 88 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: And that way, you know, we're setting up variation for 89 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: good and mental health mental wellness. And I think it's 90 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 1: important really, you know, kind of just giving everything that's 91 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,479 Speaker 1: going on in the country and everything we see on 92 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,040 Speaker 1: the news, like just kind of in these things to 93 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: kind of trigger us and you know, just really incredibly stimulating. 94 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: So what kinds of things maybe have you worked with 95 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: clients around that? I mean, because you know that's something 96 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: that there's no way for you to anticipate, like what's 97 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: going to be going on in the news, right, So 98 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: what kinds of self care practices can we establish around 99 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:01,480 Speaker 1: some of that stuff. So I live in South Florida 100 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 1: and I actually live in the area where the Parkland 101 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 1: shooting happened, and um, a lot of my clients then, 102 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 1: you know, because one of my practices deals especially with 103 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:16,920 Speaker 1: black parents who have an autistic child. So they then 104 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: had a lot of worry and concern on how is 105 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: my child going to kind of have a plan when 106 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: if something like this happens at their school because now 107 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: it's happening in our backyard. Of course, it was all 108 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 1: over the news, and you know, we're seeing it and 109 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,359 Speaker 1: it's kind of retraumatizing us as we're seeing it, and 110 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: you know, people who aren't even they're kind of getting 111 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: a secondary PTSD from it. So you know, what we 112 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: had to do was set up boundaries, you know, set 113 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 1: up boundaries as if if this is a trigger for you, 114 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: what do you need to do to you know, get 115 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,720 Speaker 1: back to your grounded you know, how do you implement 116 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: boundaries around the news and things that we can't get 117 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: away from. How do you go at to revert back 118 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: to those coping skills that we talked about. You know, 119 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: we cannot control every single thing, and although we might 120 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: want to, especially when it comes to our children, you know, 121 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: we just can't. So you know, getting back to realistic 122 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:17,239 Speaker 1: thought patterns is something that we work on because of course, 123 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: you know, we can't even anticipate when something is like 124 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: this is going to happen, so you know, knowing that 125 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: it is out of our control, but the things that 126 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: are in our control, like preparing our children and setting 127 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: a plan with them and having that plan in places 128 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: things that can help you that's very important. Yeah. I mean, 129 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: so having that kind of local context for you know, 130 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: like a real life example of things happening in your 131 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: neighborhood that directly impacted a lot of your clients. Yes, yes, 132 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: And I do think that that kind of thing is 133 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: on a lot of people's minds, right, I mean you 134 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: kind of continue to see these things happening, uh, in 135 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: our schools and things, you know, like I think there 136 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: that has raised a lot of people's anxiety about um, 137 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: their own anxiety and even their children's right and like 138 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: going to school. A lot of the um, the actual 139 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: the children were like you know, um, I don't want 140 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: to go to school because I don't want to get shot. 141 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: And how do you even go about having those type 142 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: of conversations with your child? I mean I'm I'm a therapist, 143 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: and that you know, shook me for a minute. Like, Okay, 144 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: now we have to you know, deal with this. You know, 145 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: what are our answers going to be for this? How 146 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: do we you know, not set them up to feel 147 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: like you know, it's never gonna happen, but give them 148 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: a realistic explanation of what to do if it does happen, right, Right, 149 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: So you know, I think for black parents, you know, 150 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 1: this is like one more talk now that we have 151 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: the head, but the children, right which you know, incredibly 152 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: exhausting sometimes it really does. And you know, um, you know, 153 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: like I said, I work with black parents who have 154 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: an artistic child. So another thing that we talk about 155 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: and prepare for is if our child is faced with, 156 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: you know, being in for of a police officer, because 157 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: we know that they're not going to be able to 158 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: respond the way that they should as society sees it, 159 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: you know, in those situations. So one of the things 160 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 1: as an autism parent myself and when working with my family's, 161 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,319 Speaker 1: one of our main concerns is, you know, we don't 162 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: want our kids to get shot, you know, as black parents, 163 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,199 Speaker 1: how how are we going to to navigate this? How 164 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,680 Speaker 1: do we you know, look out for our child who 165 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: can't even express themselves. So this is the kind of 166 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,320 Speaker 1: things that we have to address, you know, when I'm 167 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: working with the clients on you know, how do we 168 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: prepare ourselves for this, prepare our children for this, and 169 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: still focus on our our you know, self care and 170 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: mental health because worrying about seven, you know, can get 171 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,479 Speaker 1: to the point where you're then dealing with the anxiety 172 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: and the depression and things like that. Right, right, So 173 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: I've seen and maybe you have seen this meme to 174 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 1: Maria kind of going around that talks about you know, 175 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,160 Speaker 1: self care isn't just like spas and bubble bass, but 176 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 1: it's also you know, getting rid of toxic people in 177 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: your life and all of these other things. So can 178 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: you talk more about what self care looks like. Maybe 179 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: in the context of relationships, Yes, the most important would 180 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:16,599 Speaker 1: be boundary setting. As I discussed knowing your core values 181 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,079 Speaker 1: and setting boundaries with people in your life. And when 182 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: we talk about relationships, you know, we're talking relationships in general, 183 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: so even husband, you know, parents, you know, cousins, whatever. 184 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: So when my child was diagnosed with autism, a lot 185 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: of my family didn't really know how to respond. So 186 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: they would be like, you know, we'll pray about it, 187 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,440 Speaker 1: or we don't really know how to treat her, or 188 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 1: you know, things like that. So I had to set 189 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: a boundary with them, letting them know, Okay, this is 190 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: the expectations we have. These are how we expect you 191 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 1: to treat our child and how we expect you to 192 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 1: interact with us from here on. And if you cannot 193 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 1: do those things, then our boundary is we can't be 194 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 1: around each other. So setting the boundaries so I don't 195 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: have to then deal with you know, them treating us 196 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: differently and things like that, which can lead to you know, 197 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: a multitude of feelings. So setting boundaries like that communication, 198 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: you know, having open dialogues, and not holding stuff in 199 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: to the point where you you blow up like a crop, 200 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: not a croc pot, but what do you call those things? 201 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: A pressure cooker? So you know, you're stuffing everything in 202 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,959 Speaker 1: and it's the heat is going on and you're not 203 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: addressing something, and then something as small as you didn't 204 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: put the toilet seat down. Now I'm yelling at you 205 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: and talking about things you did you know two weeks 206 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 1: ago in the person's life. I didn't even know you 207 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: were upset about that. So things like that, you know, 208 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 1: addressing things as they come up, setting the boundaries. I 209 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: think that's a great example, Horrior, because I think a 210 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: lot of times when people hear boundary setting, they get 211 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 1: really nervous because they think that that's going especially people 212 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: who we are not necessarily comfortable with, like confrontation and 213 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: conflict um but they think that it's going to cause 214 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 1: a rupture in the relationship. But what you just said 215 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: is something that actually would help to maintain the integrity 216 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: of the relationship because you said, Okay, this is so 217 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 1: that we can continue to be in each other's lives, Like, 218 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: this is my boundary for how you will treat our daughter, 219 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: and so because you want to continue being in our lives, 220 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 1: this is the boundary I'm setting, as opposed to um, 221 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: you know, like not letting it go unchecked and then 222 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,559 Speaker 1: you just fall off the face of the earth and 223 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,840 Speaker 1: nobody knows what happened, and like what how they violated 224 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 1: you and something exactly exactly. And I think it's important 225 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: to know that. You know, when you're setting boundaries, you're 226 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: setting them up for yourself, for your own mental health. 227 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: You're not setting them up for the other people. It's 228 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: for you. And they have to be realistic boundaries because 229 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: if somebody violates that boundary, you know, you have to 230 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: be able to follow up with the consequence of that boundary. 231 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: So if you're not able to do so, then they're 232 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: just not gonna respect the boundaries because you you're not 233 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: able to follow up with a realistic consequence. Very good point. 234 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 1: So I think a lot of times when we have 235 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 1: the conversation about self care with black women, UM, you 236 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,680 Speaker 1: will sometimes here like, oh, I don't have time for 237 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,680 Speaker 1: self care, Like I'm too busy doing all of these 238 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: other things, right, which of course is the reason why 239 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 1: you need to have self care. But a lot of people, 240 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: you know, there is some reality to that. You know, 241 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 1: people who are working really long shifts and you know, 242 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 1: maybe overnight shifts and those kinds of things, like the 243 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 1: schedule just may not be flexible for them to kind 244 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 1: of build in times. So what kind of suggestions would 245 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: you give for people who you know really may not 246 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: have the time to kind of do some of this 247 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 1: reflection and um things that we've talked about. Um, what 248 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: I say, it's to start with five, ten, twenty thirty 249 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: minutes for yourself a day. It could be while you're 250 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: taking a shower, just reconnecting with yourself. You know, you 251 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 1: can spend a little extra time in the bathroom, you know, 252 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: take a nap, you know, things like that. You know, 253 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 1: like I said, disconnecting in the car before you enter 254 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 1: your home. Little things like that. It's it's self care, 255 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: you know, I Like I said, we think about the 256 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 1: grand scheme of things, but we can think about the 257 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: little steps that lead to the big foundation of you know, 258 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: the overall self care. So what little things can you 259 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: do for yourself daily that's for you and that's for 260 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: your mental wealth. Yeah, I think the shower is a 261 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: good example, right because I think a lot of times 262 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: we are just going through the day, like trying to 263 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: check things off of our lists, as opposed to really 264 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: taking some time to be intentional about you know, like 265 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: paying attention to with the water feels like on your body, 266 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 1: and you know, really using some of that time that 267 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: you have to do anyway, like we have to take 268 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: a shower, you know, clean ourselves in some way, and 269 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 1: so using that time to also be multipurpose in terms 270 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: of giving us some self care as well, exactly, you 271 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 1: know the shower. Be more purposeful with your eating, you know, 272 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: sit there and actually in joy it. I know as 273 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: a mom, you know a lot of times I'm just 274 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 1: you know, eating on the go or trying to you know, 275 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 1: eat whatever the kids have left over. But sometimes I 276 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: have to be real intentional and purposeful with my eating 277 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: to know, okay, you know, let me sit down and 278 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: enjoy my meal. Let me have my meal while it's hot. 279 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: Things like that is is self care as well. Mmmmm yeah, 280 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: that's that's a really good woman, Maria. I mean, and 281 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: I'm a mom too, and so you know, I do 282 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 1: know that it feels like there's always something to do 283 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,360 Speaker 1: for the kids, right like, Okay, we gotta do this, 284 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: then we got soccer practice, then we gotta do bads 285 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: and homework and you know all this. So so I 286 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: do think it's really hard sometimes to try to figure out, um, 287 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 1: you know, like what time can I carve out for myself. 288 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: So personally, you know, I tend to like stay up 289 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: later than everybody else because that is in the time 290 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 1: where you know, I can have like some peace to 291 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 1: kind of do whatever I want. Um do you have 292 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: other tips maybe for moms who are you know, struggling 293 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 1: to kind of manage our schedule like this? Um? Yes, 294 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 1: I have a whole lot of tips. One thing that 295 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: I know I do for me, like you, I stay 296 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 1: up a little later and then I just have I 297 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 1: get to enjoy a show that I may not have 298 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: gotten to enjoy earlier, because you know, sometimes the TV 299 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: is always on cartoons or a movie that is you know, 300 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 1: family related, So staying up and watching a movie, staying 301 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: up and journaling. UM time like get up before everybody 302 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: else and just enjoy the quietness. Um. Sometimes I take 303 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: a mental health day and my kids are at school 304 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: and I'm at home actually just enjoying the quietness of 305 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,600 Speaker 1: the home and connecting with myself and figuring out, okay, 306 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: what's my next step. If you're able to do those things, 307 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 1: you know. Um, So those are some of the tips. 308 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, exercising is another good one. Taking 309 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: a lunch by yourself, you know, if the kids are napping, 310 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 1: take that time, and you know, take a nap yourself. 311 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 1: You know, a lot of times when the kids are sleeping, 312 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: we want to go and do do do, but take 313 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 1: a nap yourself so you're re energized. That's a good point. 314 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 1: And I think sometimes, you know, I was having a 315 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 1: conversation with someone I can't remember recently about like how 316 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: self care can sometimes really be distractions, and so we 317 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: do want to make sure that we are paying attention 318 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,159 Speaker 1: to what we're actually doing right because sometimes you know, 319 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,080 Speaker 1: like napping is really good, especially if it's a restorative 320 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 1: kind of thing, but sometimes we want to sleep because 321 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: we don't want to avoid or we want to avoid 322 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: doing what we really need to be doing. Right, So, exactly, 323 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: I have that problem. Yeah, that's good. I always needed that. Yes, 324 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,919 Speaker 1: I think that's an important distinction to me, that we 325 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: don't kind of fall into using self care as a 326 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 1: way of avoiding other things we need to really be doing. 327 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: The problem or the issue will still be there when 328 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: you get out exactly, exactly. Yeah. And sometimes you can't 329 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,680 Speaker 1: even enjoy the nap, right because the anxiety of what 330 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,120 Speaker 1: you're supposed to be doing breaks through, and then it's 331 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: not even RESTful sleep exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So are there 332 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: other things you feel like are left out of these 333 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,199 Speaker 1: conversations around self care since it has become such a buzzword. 334 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: Are there other things you think we should be paying 335 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: attention to. I think that we should be paying attention 336 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,359 Speaker 1: to our our red flags and triggers and know that 337 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: when it's gotten to the point that we can't do 338 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: it on our own, it's okay to ask for help. 339 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,199 Speaker 1: I think a lot of times, you know, we especially 340 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: as black women, do not like to ask for help 341 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,119 Speaker 1: or go see a therapist, and things like that have 342 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: depend on somebody in your support circle. And I think 343 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: we need to get back to knowing that that it's 344 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 1: okay to ask for help. It's okay to see a therapist, 345 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 1: it's okay to say, you know, I can't do this. 346 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,160 Speaker 1: You know I've had enough. It's okay to do those 347 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,399 Speaker 1: things because that is taking care of yourself. Yeah. And 348 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: I would even add it's okay to make that call 349 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 1: even before you get to that point, right, you know, 350 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 1: because I think a lot of times we do wait 351 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,760 Speaker 1: until it gets to we're at a point of overwhelming 352 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: exhaustion before we want to reach out, as opposed to like, okay, 353 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: I can see this coming down the line, let me 354 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,679 Speaker 1: go head and try to put some things in place 355 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,360 Speaker 1: to prevent me from getting to overwhelm exactly. That's why 356 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: it's so important to be aware of what your triggers 357 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: are and what those warning signs look like, so that 358 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 1: as soon as you see one, you know, okay, we're 359 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 1: getting there. Let's let's go and let me go back 360 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: and and refer. I give my my clients a actual 361 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,880 Speaker 1: support circle sheet, and I'm like, Okay, in times of loneliness, 362 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: I can rely on this person when I just need 363 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: to vent. I can rely on this person when I 364 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 1: need advice, I can rely on this person, refer back 365 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 1: to that sheet, and you know, call those people, call 366 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 1: on them. So you've mentioned some of these triggers and 367 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: warning signs a couple of times when Maria, So, I 368 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,239 Speaker 1: want to make sure we give people like if they 369 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 1: don't know that this is a warning sign or a 370 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: trigger for them, Can you give some examples, um, that 371 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 1: people may be able to recognize in their own lives. Yes, Um, 372 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 1: paying attention to your body. So things that you know, 373 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: if my heart starts to you know, rapid beat, if 374 00:19:55,800 --> 00:20:00,120 Speaker 1: I'm feeling those anxious feeling you know, feelings of anxiousness. 375 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: If I'm feeling you know, frustrated, if i feel like, 376 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: you know, if one more thing comes on my plate, 377 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: I'm just going to break down. Those are warning signs anger. 378 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 1: What is a depression? These are all warning signs if 379 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 1: you see that you are getting to the point where, hey, 380 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:21,199 Speaker 1: I'm feeling a lot more sad than usual. What is 381 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: causing this? Going back to seeing what is causing all 382 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: of these feelings that you're feelings. So it's about paying 383 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 1: attention to your body and knowing that because we all 384 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:35,879 Speaker 1: kind of have a base level. So when you start 385 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,400 Speaker 1: to see things that are not at that base level. 386 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 1: Those are your warning signs or whatever experiences your body 387 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: is feeling for your personal self, those are your red flags, 388 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 1: warning signs and triggers. Yeah, and I think, like you 389 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: mentioned related to you know, physical symptoms, you will also 390 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: see sometimes like increase headaches and st make issues, you know, 391 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: which is why a lot of people end up in 392 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,160 Speaker 1: like their primary care doctors all right, like they will 393 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,919 Speaker 1: have all of this other stuff going on and not 394 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: realize that it's actually connected to something emotional health wise. 395 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 1: And you know, knowing that again with the boundaries the triggers, 396 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,120 Speaker 1: if I'm around this person, I always feel like this, 397 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 1: If I'm in this setting, I feel anxious, you know, 398 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 1: knowing that the setting is not somewhere you need to 399 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: be or you need to set boundaries around that setting 400 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 1: or that person. So being aware of that as well. 401 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: So I want to lead in now to your book 402 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,360 Speaker 1: because I bet so your your new book coming out 403 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: is a self care affirmation journal, and I'm guessing that 404 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: there's probably some space to journal around how you're feeling 405 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 1: in particular spaces, you know, because I think we don't 406 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,879 Speaker 1: always pay attention to that right, Like, we don't always 407 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 1: pay attention to how drained we feel after spending time 408 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: with that particular friend, right, um, And I think making 409 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: some of those connections can be really good. So can 410 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: you tell us a little bit about what led you 411 00:21:56,359 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 1: to creating the journal? Yes, I can so. As I 412 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:05,120 Speaker 1: stated earlier, I have two private practices. One deal specifically 413 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,879 Speaker 1: with black parents who have an an autistic child. The 414 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 1: other one deals with um black women who are dealing 415 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: with postpartum depression and anxiety. And what I started to 416 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 1: see and working with both of those practices is that 417 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 1: they were spending so much time focusing on everybody around them. 418 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 1: And you know, the example I would give them is 419 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 1: they had a glass of water, and they kept giving 420 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,919 Speaker 1: the water to everybody else, and then when it was 421 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 1: time for them to take a drink, they had nothing, 422 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: you know, so they weren't taking care of themselves. And 423 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 1: I just started to notice this pattern with them that 424 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 1: even when we try to talk about self care, they 425 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 1: didn't even know what that looked like for them. They 426 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: didn't even know how to go about, you know, setting 427 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 1: up self care for themselves. So I said, you know what, 428 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,399 Speaker 1: you know, I'm gonna make a book and make it 429 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 1: easier for you, so you can get the foundation with 430 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,119 Speaker 1: this book, and then that book will lead you to 431 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 1: creating a self care plan for yourself that works, you know, 432 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 1: and you can change, you know, as you change as 433 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 1: a person. So that's how you know, I got into 434 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: UM developing the book. It was initially for those two 435 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,199 Speaker 1: groups that I was dealing with, but then I was like, 436 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 1: you know what, everybody can benefit from this. Yeah, it 437 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,880 Speaker 1: definitely sounds like a really good resource that will be available. Well, 438 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:25,720 Speaker 1: it is available. Yeah, So what are some of your 439 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,719 Speaker 1: other favorite resources around self carecter or their books are 440 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 1: things that you find yourself frequently um sharing with your clients. UM. 441 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,160 Speaker 1: I read a lot of Burnet Brown. I think that 442 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,640 Speaker 1: her books, you know, kind of get you back centered 443 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 1: to self and help you figure out a lot. Is 444 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 1: something I recommend a lot to my clients, are her readings. UM. 445 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,960 Speaker 1: And then I also just tell them to go down 446 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 1: the barns and no while and look at self self 447 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 1: care and self help. And there'll be things like work 448 00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: books like anxiety work books or UM journals and things 449 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,119 Speaker 1: like that and pick one up and use it intentionally, 450 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 1: you know, UM, things like that. I I tell them 451 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: to watch a movie, you know, resources that can show them, 452 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 1: you know, what self care looks like for them. So 453 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 1: I tell them, you know, go and look at these 454 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 1: resources and be intentional with them. So those things I 455 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: recommend to my clients. So sounds great. And Burnee Brown 456 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,919 Speaker 1: is a podcast favorite. UM, lots of therapies who have 457 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 1: been Yes, of course love Renee's works and I definitely 458 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 1: think those are great books to grab copies of. So 459 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 1: where can we find you online? Mario? What's your website 460 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:43,879 Speaker 1: as well as any social media handles you'd like to share? Okay? So, um, 461 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 1: you can find me at www dot Autism in Black 462 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: dot org or www dot Day by Day Therapy dot com. 463 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: And then my social media handles are if you're on Facebook, 464 00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:01,880 Speaker 1: it's autism in BLK, instag Am and Twitter are autism 465 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: in Black b L A c K spelled out great 466 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: And of course we will include all of that information 467 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,639 Speaker 1: in the show notes. Definitely make sure you grab your 468 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: copy of the journal so that you can't be more 469 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: intentional about your self care. Yes, it's available on Amazon. 470 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:22,920 Speaker 1: It's UM fifty two Affirmations for self Care. You can 471 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 1: use it for fifty two days or use it in 472 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,680 Speaker 1: a weekly format and take you through a whole year. 473 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 1: Very cool. Well, thank you so much for joining us today, Maria. 474 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:36,119 Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. I'm so thankful Maria was 475 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,360 Speaker 1: able to share her expertise with us today. To check 476 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,479 Speaker 1: out the resources that she shared and to learn more 477 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 1: about her practice, visit the show notes at Therapy for 478 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 1: Black Girls dot com slash Session seventy seven, and please 479 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 1: make sure to share your takeaways from the episode in 480 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: your i G stories are on Twitter, be sure to 481 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: use the hashtag tv G and session that we can 482 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 1: find them and share them. If you're looking for a 483 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: therapist in your area, be sure to visit the therapist 484 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 1: directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory, 485 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 1: and don't forget to check out the Therapy for Black 486 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,439 Speaker 1: Girls store. To grab yourself a T shirt or a 487 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 1: mug to show your love for the podcast, you can 488 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,919 Speaker 1: find it at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash shop. 489 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: And if you want to continue this conversation and join 490 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: a community of other sisters who listen to the podcast, 491 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,399 Speaker 1: join us over in the Thrive tribe at Therapy for 492 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 1: Black Girls dot com slash tribe. Make sure you answer 493 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: the three questions that are asked to gain jury. Thank 494 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,199 Speaker 1: y'all so much for joining me again this week, and 495 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,919 Speaker 1: I look forward to continue in this conversation with you 496 00:26:50,000 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: all real sued, Take good care, pur often all oftor 497 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 1: par often A often par oftor