Speaker 1: It sounds so hard to because you seem you seem
Speaker 1: like you're just right in the middle of the fire.
Speaker 1: How am I ever gonna get out of this? How
Speaker 1: am I gonna look back and go? I was refined
Speaker 1: by this this pain. But you will you will. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Granger Smith Podcast. This is episode one
Speaker 1: hundred and sixteen. Thank you for listening, Thanks for watching.
Speaker 1: Wherever you are. You know, Spotify now has video. You
Speaker 1: can go and listen to the podcast and actually see
Speaker 1: the video right there on your Spotify app, which is awesome.
Speaker 1: You could watch me on YouTube, Apple podcast app, and
Speaker 1: anywhere else that you can listen to podcasts. That's where
Speaker 1: you're gonna find this one. Thank you to the longtime
Speaker 1: listeners and what's up to the brand new listeners. Maybe
Speaker 1: you came from TikTok. I've been putting up a lot
Speaker 1: of these little clips from these videos. Ian, the guy
Speaker 1: that edis this what shout out to Ian? He's crushing it.
Speaker 1: And Ian will make these clips and then I'll put
Speaker 1: it to music and put it on TikTok or Instagram reels.
Speaker 1: So some people come from that. Some people come from
Speaker 1: that TikTok that I put on Twitter. So however you
Speaker 1: got here, however you found out about this podcast, I'm
Speaker 1: just grateful. I love this platform, I love the long
Speaker 1: term form of it. And what we do here on
Speaker 1: this podcast is I answer your questions. You email Granger
Speaker 1: Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. It could be anything
Speaker 1: about any subject. It could be about music, it could
Speaker 1: be about career, it could be about relationships. It could
Speaker 1: be about grief and loss or or finances, really anything,
Speaker 1: and I've seen anything and everything. Email me. Put a
Speaker 1: good subject line, make it readable, you know, like, don't
Speaker 1: make it ten pages long. And tell me your name
Speaker 1: unless you want to be anonymous, and tell me where
Speaker 1: you're from so I can get it kind of an
Speaker 1: idea of who I'm talking to. And I love I
Speaker 1: love digging into these I have so much going on
Speaker 1: in my life and brand new radio show starting January. First,
Speaker 1: you're gonna hear me on a show called After Midnight,
Speaker 1: nationally syndicated show, and so you're gonna hear me from
Speaker 1: midnight to six am probably in most places in the country.
Speaker 1: You'll be able to find this on FM radio. And
Speaker 1: then I have the smiths Our YouTube channel, our family vlog.
Speaker 1: And then of course, I have music, touring, songwriting, recording,
Speaker 1: and I'm working on a couple other things that are
Speaker 1: kind of a secret that I can't say yet, but
Speaker 1: they're really big, and one of them, one of those
Speaker 1: reasons is why I look like I've forgotten my razor
Speaker 1: and I'm just completely free out to shave in a
Speaker 1: long time. That is all coming soon. I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna explain all this soon. I'm by myself, no guest today.
Speaker 1: During the holiday season. It's just more difficult to coordinate
Speaker 1: on my end having someone come and picking a time,
Speaker 1: because it really ends up this podcast ends up being
Speaker 1: something where it's like, you know what I got some time,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna run up to my studio and record a podcast,
Speaker 1: and I literally pull up these emails that you guys sent,
Speaker 1: and I just start going through without really referencing, without studying.
Speaker 1: I don't have notes in front of me. I don't
Speaker 1: have like a list of really cool quotes. I kind
Speaker 1: of wish I did. Sometimes I wish I could be
Speaker 1: like Boom just to hashtag some just crazy quote that
Speaker 1: you know, rocks the world. I don't have that, so
Speaker 1: it's just it's all off the top. Of my head,
Speaker 1: and it's it's in a form that I like to
Speaker 1: think of in terms of We're sitting around a campfire
Speaker 1: and you know, it's getting late and the fire is
Speaker 1: burning down, and I'm sitting in an adirondyke chair and
Speaker 1: someone walks up and goes, hey, man, while we're sitting here,
Speaker 1: could I run something by you? And we just talked
Speaker 1: through it, you know, as if I'm just we're just
Speaker 1: old friends talking about something in their life. That's what
Speaker 1: this is. Because of that, I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: right all of the time. You're gonna have to take
Speaker 1: all of these answers with a grain of salt as
Speaker 1: if we're just friends. Sometimes, for instance, I'll see on
Speaker 1: TikTok one of these things go up, and I'll see
Speaker 1: some people that really like it, well a clip from
Speaker 1: the podcast, and then there's always people that go disagree,
Speaker 1: this is totally wrong. Hey, great, that's your opinion if
Speaker 1: you had a podcast, and you would probably answer it
Speaker 1: a different way. And I'm totally cool with that. That's
Speaker 1: just what we do around here, and thank you guys
Speaker 1: for listening. I want to dive in the only one
Speaker 1: that I've seen that I'm going to read today is
Speaker 1: the first one because I like to start with something
Speaker 1: a little bit lighter, so I don't just dive in
Speaker 1: and accidentally jump into an email that's super heavy. And
Speaker 1: that's how we start. So this first one, the subject
Speaker 1: line is message on YouTube Really you question Mark says, Hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: I got a notification from a comment I made on
Speaker 1: YouTube of one of your YouTube videos. It appears to
Speaker 1: be from you, but it seems unrealistic. Just checking to
Speaker 1: see if it's spam or not. If it is, I
Speaker 1: love the Smiths, your concert in Maine, and your podcast
Speaker 1: so inspirational. This comes from Sherry and Wales' Maine. Sherry, great,
Speaker 1: great question, and I love I love that you asked
Speaker 1: this because it's very important. In fact, many many many
Speaker 1: episodes ago, I did an entire podcast on this subject
Speaker 1: with a lot of research that I put in. There
Speaker 1: is so much spam. The short answer to you, Sherry,
Speaker 1: is no, it was not me. If it was me,
Speaker 1: there would be a blue check next to my name. Right,
Speaker 1: So it's going to say everything I'm on in social media,
Speaker 1: everything that says Granger Smith that's me has a blue check.
Speaker 1: You have to look. And this is the same with
Speaker 1: any any influencer or celebrity, anyone with a lot of
Speaker 1: followers that has some kind of platform, almost all of
Speaker 1: them are verified and that's the blue check. So you
Speaker 1: need to look for the blue check because there's so
Speaker 1: much spam and it usually comes from Nigeria and they
Speaker 1: are getting more and more creative and it's it's crazy.
Speaker 1: As I did the research for the for the podcast
Speaker 1: that I talked about all this, there is there are
Speaker 1: literally factories in Nigeria where people come into work just
Speaker 1: like anyone else works, and they walk in and they
Speaker 1: sit in front of a computer that's provided for them
Speaker 1: in the factory and their job literally is to create
Speaker 1: accounts based on American influencers and try to comment or
Speaker 1: direct message people. And what they're doing, they're always after something.
Speaker 1: So they might start it as thank you for being
Speaker 1: a big fan, I love you so much. They're trying
Speaker 1: to open the conversation, but it's always going to end
Speaker 1: up being something like I created this account because my man.
Speaker 1: I didn't want my manager to know about it, or
Speaker 1: my record label or my wife to know about it.
Speaker 1: So I created this person account so that I can
Speaker 1: interact with my fans personally, it's all a lie. And
Speaker 1: then they're going to get you to eventually get off
Speaker 1: of that social media account and go to an email
Speaker 1: or go to a direct message, where then they're going
Speaker 1: to talk about financial problems that they're having and can
Speaker 1: you send them a iTunes gift card or an Amazon
Speaker 1: gift card or some kind of digital gift card. It's
Speaker 1: always that. The worst part is that a lot of
Speaker 1: times they're targeting charities and so they they'll act like
Speaker 1: they're a charity and that they're looking around the holiday
Speaker 1: season to build up so that they can give to
Speaker 1: the homeless or some you know, some kind of great cause,
Speaker 1: and it's like all I need is twenty five dollars
Speaker 1: gift card and we're going to give it to this
Speaker 1: great cause. It's it's all a lie. And unfortunately, the
Speaker 1: reason that there's factories in Nigeria is because so many
Speaker 1: people fall for it and so many people fall victim
Speaker 1: to it. And it's a tough situation because the kids
Speaker 1: that are doing this in Nigeria and they're all like
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one years old, they're not inherently more flawed
Speaker 1: than you or I. They are doing all they know
Speaker 1: how to do. They're getting there's not much. There's not
Speaker 1: very many jobs, and so they get recruited on the
Speaker 1: street and they come and they get an hourly wage.
Speaker 1: And it's not like it's one person just spamming the world.
Speaker 1: They work for a boss who has a boss who
Speaker 1: has a boss, and so they're coming into work and
Speaker 1: they don't really see the problem in it because they're
Speaker 1: so disconnected from it. They just do what they're told
Speaker 1: to do. So I can't really blame them as much
Speaker 1: as we blame the system. But that being said, what
Speaker 1: we need to learn as listeners and as social media
Speaker 1: followers is how to navigate the dark alleys of social media.
Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is when we know
Speaker 1: as humans, because of so many years of walking walking
Speaker 1: down streets and dark alleys, we know where not to go.
Speaker 1: Like we know that if you're in New York City
Speaker 1: in the hood at night, you're not just gonna walk
Speaker 1: by yourself and go through some buildings where the dumpsters
Speaker 1: are and go down the dark alleys at three o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning. You wouldn't do that because you don't
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna find there. But we haven't quite
Speaker 1: learned that on social media. I believe that we will.
Speaker 1: I believe we're going to get better and better and
Speaker 1: our kids are going to be way better than our adults.
Speaker 1: And our grandmothers are in deep trouble when it comes
Speaker 1: to this because they have no idea. So we need
Speaker 1: to protect our aunts and uncles and parents and grandparents
Speaker 1: as they're on Facebook and they're seeing these because they're
Speaker 1: not as trained like some of the younger people are
Speaker 1: to go, that's fake. I know that that's a parody account.
Speaker 1: That's false. So we need to inform everyone around us, like, hey,
Speaker 1: remember to look for the blue check mark. That's like
Speaker 1: walking down a dark alley. If that doesn't have a
Speaker 1: blue check and they're messaging you and it's Luke Bryan,
Speaker 1: then it's a fake and it's a dark alley that
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be walking down. So don't engage. Okay, Sherry,
Speaker 1: that was not me great question and I'm glad we
Speaker 1: brought it up. Next question, subjectline says question for the podcast.
Speaker 1: Hello Granger. I'm a huge fan of everything you do.
Speaker 1: I'm Matthew. I'm twenty one years old and the girl
Speaker 1: there's a girl that I really like, but she recently
Speaker 1: went through my cell phone while I was sleeping, and
Speaker 1: I feel like trust has been violated, and I'm lost
Speaker 1: on what I did, what I should do. Should I
Speaker 1: stay with her? Just break it well? Twenty one? The
Speaker 1: first question, the first thing I would say to you, Matthew,
Speaker 1: is that have the girl at your place while you're sleeping,
Speaker 1: and you're twenty one years old, and you're not that
Speaker 1: serious about her anyway, it's not going to lead to
Speaker 1: anything good. So that's a problem to begin with. You're
Speaker 1: spending too much time with her overnight. It's too much time.
Speaker 1: But yes, there is a problem here. You recognize this, Matthew,
Speaker 1: that there's an underlying problem with her going through your phone.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I could say this, if we're sitting around a campfire,
Speaker 1: I'd say she might be cheating on you, because sometimes
Speaker 1: people that have this huge fear of their partner cheating
Speaker 1: on them, they're going through the same thing themselves, or
Speaker 1: they're struggling with the same thing. Maybe she's talking to somebody,
Speaker 1: maybe not, but it's there's a chance there's a better
Speaker 1: chance that if she's so worried about you and what's
Speaker 1: in your phone, that she might be doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: so there's a red flag. Second thing I would say
Speaker 1: is are you giving her reasons to not trust you?
Speaker 1: And maybe you're thinking no, But from the outside looking in,
Speaker 1: are you very flirtatious with other girls? Do you have
Speaker 1: a wondering eye? Like does she catch you walking down
Speaker 1: the street and you're kind of your eyes are following
Speaker 1: a girl that's walking by? Are you that kind of person?
Speaker 1: Has this happened before? Has she caught you in something
Speaker 1: before that you shouldn't have been doing. All these things
Speaker 1: lead to to this distrust that she has. My old
Speaker 1: drummer Michael would say, she needs more hobbies, she needs
Speaker 1: more things to do if she has enough free time
Speaker 1: other than sleeping in the middle of the night to
Speaker 1: pull out your phone and start going through it. Some
Speaker 1: people are probably listening thinking to themselves, Hey, me and
Speaker 1: my girl, we have a great relationship and we give
Speaker 1: each other passwords to everything, Like my girl has passwords
Speaker 1: to my Facebook and I have passwords to hers, and
Speaker 1: we're free to go through it at any at any time.
Speaker 1: There's something unhealthy about that too, Like you do you
Speaker 1: give your passwords to to your girlfriend because of a
Speaker 1: trust thing? Like you think that that's gonna build trust.
Speaker 1: There's kind of there's a problem with that, right like
Speaker 1: that that like trust should come before giving passwords. You
Speaker 1: should just trust someone because you have no reason to
Speaker 1: not trust them. You've never given them a reason, and
Speaker 1: the girl has never given you a reason. And to
Speaker 1: think about giving them your password is like ridiculous at
Speaker 1: that point, It's like, that's a waste of time. You
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna find. You're gonna find nothing. So
Speaker 1: all that said, Matthew, if you're thinking about should I
Speaker 1: stay with her or just break it off, that's your
Speaker 1: that's your last question. I wou'd say break it off
Speaker 1: because of it, regardless of of what's going on. If
Speaker 1: something so petty, it's this coming between you guys, is
Speaker 1: something that you're willing to entertain the thought of breaking
Speaker 1: up with her? Hey, man, it's not strong. There's not
Speaker 1: a strong enough bond there, Like the pieces are too separated.
Speaker 1: They're a little bit too broken for this to matter,
Speaker 1: for this to last longer than her going through your phone.
Speaker 1: So if you're thinking about it because of that, that's
Speaker 1: a yeah, yeah, break it off. And and hey, I've
Speaker 1: been in relationships like this. Amber has two In fact,
Speaker 1: She told me today that you know, there's been times
Speaker 1: when when she's been in relationships just like this one,
Speaker 1: and so sometimes it's the combination of the two people
Speaker 1: getting together and they just don't trust each other. And
Speaker 1: the thing is, you can get in another relationship after
Speaker 1: this and there's total trust, like there's nobody going through
Speaker 1: anybody's phone, and so it's not really the person, it's
Speaker 1: the the combination of the two people that makes us
Speaker 1: a bad situation. I break up with her. Next question
Speaker 1: says subject line, how to deal with grief. Dear Granger,
Speaker 1: This is with a very heavy heart that I'm asking
Speaker 1: you this question. I received the call early Sunday morning,
Speaker 1: December nineteenth, twenty twenty one from my mother that my nephew, Sean,
Speaker 1: a member of the Navy second Enlistment, had committed suicide
Speaker 1: by gunshot wound to the head. My family is so
Speaker 1: broken on this Christmas and I'm coming to you deeply
Speaker 1: saddened and wondering how do you cope with this grief
Speaker 1: so I could be strong for my two children, his cousins,
Speaker 1: for my family. I'm truly lost right now. Thank you.
Speaker 1: This is Erica from Jackson, Michigan. Erica also says she's
Speaker 1: a member of you nation. Erica, I'm so sorry that
Speaker 1: you're going through this. Of the holiday season is a
Speaker 1: tough time for grief. It's it's the hardest time, really,
Speaker 1: because you have birthdays of the person you lost, and
Speaker 1: you have the holidays. These are times when you're typically
Speaker 1: with them or talking to them, and so when they're
Speaker 1: not there, there's a table I mean, excuse me that
Speaker 1: when you're when you're not with them, there's a chair
Speaker 1: missing at the table of the dinner of the holiday,
Speaker 1: and and that just makes it for a tough Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: or Christmas or ringing in the new year, are celebrating
Speaker 1: a birthday, it makes it really tough. The anniversary of
Speaker 1: the death is tough too. So these are like speed
Speaker 1: bumps on the road to recovery of grief. The first
Speaker 1: one is always the hardest, The first one, the first
Speaker 1: one of any of these, the first birthday, the first
Speaker 1: day aniversary of the death, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas.
Speaker 1: It's tough. So the first step in all this, Erica,
Speaker 1: is that just recognizing that you're feeling grief and that
Speaker 1: that sounds silly, but recognizing it and realizing that you're
Speaker 1: broken and that that someone is missing is a good, healthy,
Speaker 1: first step, as opposed to denying it or avoiding it,
Speaker 1: sweeping it under the rug. The second thing I would say, Erica,
Speaker 1: is that whatever emotion you're feeling, whether that's that's sadness
Speaker 1: or joy or happiness or contentment, are are weeping grief,
Speaker 1: Whatever you're feeling at the at the moment is valid
Speaker 1: and it is right. The reason I say it that
Speaker 1: way is because you might be thinking, of course I
Speaker 1: feel sad, but five hours from now, someone could say
Speaker 1: something funny and you'll you'll instinctively laugh because it's funny.
Speaker 1: And then right when you laugh, there's this thought that
Speaker 1: that just comes in like a thief into your mind,
Speaker 1: and it says your brain says you fool. How could
Speaker 1: you laugh at a time like this. You're grieving. You're
Speaker 1: not supposed to smile, You're not supposed to to enjoy
Speaker 1: any moment, and that's false. Whatever you're feeling in grief
Speaker 1: is valid at the time. So don't let that grief
Speaker 1: it's a thief, and don't let it steal the joy
Speaker 1: that you still have, because joy cannot be erased. Happiness
Speaker 1: comes and goes it's fleeting. You know. Happiness is when
Speaker 1: you walk outside and the sun hits you, just perfectly
Speaker 1: comes out of the clouds and it just hits you
Speaker 1: and you're it's seventy degrees and it's perfect and you go,
Speaker 1: huh happy, I'm happy. But but joy, it's not fleeting. Joy.
Speaker 1: Joy comes from God and it's it's inherently in us,
Speaker 1: and it's it boils out of us at any time.
Speaker 1: Grief and joy can coexist. So I want to I
Speaker 1: want to warn you of the thief that grief is
Speaker 1: when it wants to come in and steal that that
Speaker 1: joy or that happiness or that contentment, whatever emotion it is,
Speaker 1: it wants to steal it away from you. So so
Speaker 1: so sit content knowing that whatever happens, whatever moment, whatever
Speaker 1: you're feeling, is right and it is okay. After that,
Speaker 1: Eric I would tell you that this is a step
Speaker 1: by step process. There is no you know, you you'll
Speaker 1: read these these books about the different stages of grief
Speaker 1: and it's technically right, but it's never in. They ordered
Speaker 1: that the book says that it's in. You could be
Speaker 1: angry followed by guilty, followed by remorseful, followed by numb.
Speaker 1: You're right, right, you could you go through all these emotions,
Speaker 1: but they change orders, and then you could be angry again.
Speaker 1: You could feel guilt, Erica, and the fact that I
Speaker 1: should have done this with Sean. I should have said this,
Speaker 1: I should have reached out to him, and if I
Speaker 1: would if I only would have done this, if I
Speaker 1: would have called him or texted that I was thinking
Speaker 1: about this text and I was going to text him,
Speaker 1: and I didn't send it, and because I didn't, he
Speaker 1: killed himself. You're gonna you're gonna have those thoughts of guilt.
Speaker 1: It's going to overcome you. Don't let it. Don't let
Speaker 1: that guilt sneak in. It's a thief. Also, you asked
Speaker 1: about your two children, his cousins. This is this is
Speaker 1: it's life. You don't ever want kids to go through
Speaker 1: this kind of experience, but yours are might have been
Speaker 1: through it. And because they are going through it, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to use this as as a teaching moment
Speaker 1: for life that this this is terrible, and that that
Speaker 1: you're your cousin Sean. You're gonna have to explain the
Speaker 1: best depending on their age. Their age matters in this conversation.
Speaker 1: But you're gonna have to walk through this with them
Speaker 1: and tell them truthfully and show them Erica that that
Speaker 1: it's okay to cry. And they might they might reach
Speaker 1: moments where they're they're giggling and laughing and playing and
Speaker 1: you're sad, and then before you know it, you're smiling
Speaker 1: and cooking spaghetti. And then one of them gets starts
Speaker 1: to get sad about Sean, and you have to immediately
Speaker 1: pivot to them and say, are you sad about your cousin?
Speaker 1: And then you hold them and you say it's okay,
Speaker 1: okay to be sad, And so you're never Families are
Speaker 1: rarely on the same grief level at the same time,
Speaker 1: like we flip flop and so, and that's a good
Speaker 1: thing because if you're all sad at the same time
Speaker 1: every day the same time, it makes it difficult. And
Speaker 1: so sympathy comes when you have someone that's down and
Speaker 1: and and they're in grief, and the grief is like
Speaker 1: a quicksand, and so this is what sympathy is. Sympathy
Speaker 1: is when someone's in quicksand and you step in the
Speaker 1: quicksand with them and you grab them, you grab their
Speaker 1: hand and you hold them, and you say I feel
Speaker 1: your pain, I feel this with you. But you still
Speaker 1: have a foot, your other foot on dry land. So
Speaker 1: you grab them, you put one foot in the quicksand
Speaker 1: and you take their hand and you go, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: help you get out of this moment, out of this quicksand,
Speaker 1: because I got a foot on dry land. And the
Speaker 1: difference between that and empathy, it's empathy is when you
Speaker 1: dive in with them, into the quicksand with them. And
Speaker 1: so many people are so quick to be full of
Speaker 1: empathy and say I empathize with you, And in my opinion, guys,
Speaker 1: it's the wrong move, especially in grief, because empathy is
Speaker 1: when you jump in the quicksand with them and you
Speaker 1: hold them and you say I feel this with you,
Speaker 1: same as sympathy, but you don't have a foot on
Speaker 1: dry land. And so what happens You both sink in
Speaker 1: the quicksand and there's no way out. There's no way out.
Speaker 1: Make sure you always have a foot on that dry land.
Speaker 1: Avoid the guilt like a plague. Get rid of that guilt.
Speaker 1: Use it. Call it out for what it is. It's
Speaker 1: a thief and it's a liar. Say I will not
Speaker 1: fall for this guilt. I will not fall for that
Speaker 1: thought of that last text, that last call, what I
Speaker 1: should have done? And lastly, once and once you've navigated this,
Speaker 1: because this step by step process, you have to take
Speaker 1: it day by day, and then the day turns into weeks,
Speaker 1: and the weeks turn into months, and the months turn
Speaker 1: into years, and the years, when you add them up,
Speaker 1: will eventually you'll feel relief from that immediate grief. Right,
Speaker 1: So ten years go by and you will not be
Speaker 1: feeling the same biting pain that you felt on ground
Speaker 1: zero day one. We could all agree to that, no
Speaker 1: matter where you are, no matter what grief it is,
Speaker 1: on year ten, it's still going to hurt, but it's
Speaker 1: not going to feel like day one. So if you're thinking,
Speaker 1: and there's people listening that they're going through grief right now.
Speaker 1: So I'm speaking to everyone, not just you, Erica. But
Speaker 1: if you're thinking, I can't. I try to go day
Speaker 1: by day, but I can't. It's too hard. So then
Speaker 1: you go hour by hour, and if hour by hour
Speaker 1: is still too tough, then you go minute by minute.
Speaker 1: If minute by minutes too tough, you go second by second.
Speaker 1: If second by second is too tough. You go heartbeat
Speaker 1: by heartbeat, breath by breath in hell exhale in hell exhale,
Speaker 1: And the same theory with days going by the breath,
Speaker 1: the heart beats will go by and turn into seconds
Speaker 1: and turn into minutes, and turn into hours and turn
Speaker 1: into days and weeks and months and then years. The
Speaker 1: last thing I'll say about this is that once you
Speaker 1: kind of pass, you get out of the quicksand where
Speaker 1: it still hurts because you never you never move on, okay,
Speaker 1: you just move forward. You keep moving forward. So you
Speaker 1: could you could realize that that although I can't I
Speaker 1: will never move on from the hurt of losing Sean,
Speaker 1: I can move forward. I can move forward. We all can.
Speaker 1: We're capable of Humans are incredible at overcoming. Look at history.
Speaker 1: People have been through horrific things and they have the
Speaker 1: capability of moving forward. We are we are amazing creatures
Speaker 1: that God made for that purpose to keep moving forward.
Speaker 1: And what I would do when you do find that
Speaker 1: place is I would I would put energy into suicide relief,
Speaker 1: suicide prevention, specifically with with military men and women. We
Speaker 1: see this so often with military men and women. And
Speaker 1: so when you're when you're dealing with this kind of
Speaker 1: suicide with from PTSD, you could you could help with
Speaker 1: that spreading awareness, help help financially, or you could help
Speaker 1: in counseling places or hospitals or or or some kind
Speaker 1: of any kind of relief organization for suicide prevention. You
Speaker 1: could help, and you could put effort into that, and
Speaker 1: through that effort, through that help, you will find joy
Speaker 1: in that. You will find a healing that's unlike any other.
Speaker 1: Through pouring out in that way, the level of grief
Speaker 1: you have equals the love that you had. So the
Speaker 1: more you love, the more you will grieve when you
Speaker 1: lose them. And that says something because if you didn't
Speaker 1: have them at all, you wouldn't have the grief, but
Speaker 1: you wouldn't have them, and that always having them for
Speaker 1: a short time is always better than never having them
Speaker 1: at all. I'm gonna take a break beer right back, guys.
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Speaker 1: digging back into these questions, the next one subject line
Speaker 1: says high school question is Hey Grangeer, I'm a huge fan.
Speaker 1: My name is Liam. I'm fourteen years old. This is
Speaker 1: my first year in high school and I'm having a
Speaker 1: really hard time keeping up my grades this year. This
Speaker 1: is mostly because I can't motivate myself to do my work.
Speaker 1: I've tried to get help, but no one seems to
Speaker 1: understand what I'm having a hard time with. High school
Speaker 1: is so much harder than I expected it to be.
Speaker 1: Any advice this comes from Liam, and Liam good news
Speaker 1: is for you. I have once been a fourteen year
Speaker 1: old boy, and I once was a first year in
Speaker 1: high school, so I can definitely relate man, and I
Speaker 1: could relate to that first year, and I could tell
Speaker 1: you whatever you think about me, whatever you think about
Speaker 1: this podcast or who I am, just remember this. At
Speaker 1: one time when I was fourteen, I felt the same
Speaker 1: thing as you. I felt out of place. I felt small,
Speaker 1: I felt like I didn't know. I felt very vulnerable.
Speaker 1: I felt I felt like everyone was looking at me
Speaker 1: like I was this this just small, immature, stupid kid.
Speaker 1: I felt out of place. That's I think you would
Speaker 1: feel out of place being fourteen years old in anything
Speaker 1: you did in life, not just your first year of
Speaker 1: high school. It's tough, and so I want to I
Speaker 1: want to acknowledge that that you're not alone. And I
Speaker 1: bet you there's there's hardly anybody that would listen to
Speaker 1: this podcast and think back to that and think, huh,
Speaker 1: that's weird. I didn't. I was great when I was fourteen.
Speaker 1: First year in high school. I just crushed it. No,
Speaker 1: not many people would think that. So your everything you're
Speaker 1: feeling is totally natural. You say this is mostly because
Speaker 1: I can't motivate myself to do my work. I've tried
Speaker 1: getting help, but no one seems to understand when I'm
Speaker 1: having a hard time with Well, I understand, and I
Speaker 1: think I would wonder if you're asking the wrong people.
Speaker 1: If you went up to one of your teachers and
Speaker 1: you were totally honest with them and you said, hey, teacher,
Speaker 1: and you just read this email, you said, I'm having
Speaker 1: a hard time motivating myself to do the work. I
Speaker 1: really want to, but this is much harder than I
Speaker 1: expected the teacher's job. And I guarantee you somebody at
Speaker 1: this school is a really, really really good teacher that's
Speaker 1: going to say, let's help. How could we let's work
Speaker 1: on this. You know, let's meet at four o'clock today
Speaker 1: in my office and let's walk through this. Let's see
Speaker 1: what you're having trouble with, what you're you know, where
Speaker 1: are you stumbling? What subjects are you good at? What
Speaker 1: subjects are you not good at? I would then I
Speaker 1: would lead you, also, liam to some kind of extracurricular
Speaker 1: or activity, like I mean, will go down a list.
Speaker 1: I mean it could for me, it was football. I
Speaker 1: just dove into football. It could be track, could be basketball,
Speaker 1: could be choir, could be banned, could be chest, club,
Speaker 1: could be acting, you can join the theater. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of options at your school. I know there are.
Speaker 1: There's there's options at every school. So I would encourage
Speaker 1: you to get involved with this. And when you do that, say,
Speaker 1: you go into theater and I didn't do that, but
Speaker 1: but I knew a lot of people that did. And
Speaker 1: when you get involved with theater, immediately immerse yourself with
Speaker 1: people around you that are like minded, meaning they they
Speaker 1: liked theater enough to join, just like you. And so
Speaker 1: when you're in theater and then you start talking about
Speaker 1: this stuff to these other peers that are like minded
Speaker 1: with you, And so you go anybody else having a
Speaker 1: hard time with this high school thing like me? And
Speaker 1: somebody's going to go, yeah, I didn't really want to
Speaker 1: admit it, but I feel like no one understands, and
Speaker 1: you go, me too. That's how I feel. I feel
Speaker 1: like no one else understands, and they go, yeah, me too.
Speaker 1: I just and you go, what are you struggling with?
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with Missus Simpson's English class, me too, that
Speaker 1: book we're reading it just makes no sense and they
Speaker 1: go yeah. And So through that, through that communication and
Speaker 1: that community that you get out of like minded people,
Speaker 1: you start finding solutions together in a group. As humans,
Speaker 1: we are meant to be put in groups and think
Speaker 1: in groups and socialize in groups. That's just what we do.
Speaker 1: It's very difficult for a human to isolate themselves, and
Speaker 1: if they do, it's very rare that you hear of
Speaker 1: some guy that moved to Alaska by himself. It sounds awesome,
Speaker 1: sounds romantic. Moved to Alaska by yourself, live in the woods,
Speaker 1: build a cabinet with your bare hands, just you and
Speaker 1: a fishing pole like that sounds amazing. But as soon
Speaker 1: as a couple of weeks go by, you realize quickly
Speaker 1: humans need community, right, so join the community. Don't just
Speaker 1: walk the halls and go into different classrooms and sit
Speaker 1: at different desks and think like that you're all alone
Speaker 1: and no one understands you. So immediately get involved. This
Speaker 1: is a really big deal. It could be literally could
Speaker 1: be anything. Could be the photography club, could be student council,
Speaker 1: could be the the the I don't know shop, could
Speaker 1: be auto mechanics class. There's, like I said, there's there's
Speaker 1: a million options. Do that. Find that community and communicate
Speaker 1: with your teacher. And then the last thing is just
Speaker 1: keep showing up, keep showing up every day, because something's
Speaker 1: gonna happen if you keep showing up and you keep
Speaker 1: showing that commitment to it, then something will change in
Speaker 1: terms of you're gonna meet somebody, or something's gonna fall
Speaker 1: in your life. You're gonna realize, Man, I love I love,
Speaker 1: actually love this history class because I love talking about
Speaker 1: World War Two. That's me. I love World War two.
Speaker 1: So man, we've been studying World War two. I actually
Speaker 1: love it. I don't like calculus class, but I love history.
Speaker 1: And so that's a step up, Like that's a you
Speaker 1: got a foothold now to keep, to keep this ball rolling,
Speaker 1: to keep this high school thing going. And then by
Speaker 1: the time you hit the end of the semester, you've
Speaker 1: got something to stand on your history class. So communicate, fine, community,
Speaker 1: and just show up. Keep showing up, all right, subdecline,
Speaker 1: this is interesting, Subdecline says. On this next one, my
Speaker 1: husband says he's done. Let's see what this says, Granger.
Speaker 1: I've followed you and your wife for quite some time.
Speaker 1: I've been inspired by both you and her many times.
Speaker 1: Amber strength has been so inspiring to me. Right now,
Speaker 1: I'm just having a hard time staying strong. My husband
Speaker 1: told me two weeks before our third son was to
Speaker 1: be born that he has done. He says, he's unhappy,
Speaker 1: and he has been for some time, and he's just
Speaker 1: never brought it up. I take my vows very seriously,
Speaker 1: and even though he has cheated on me, I'm still
Speaker 1: committed to our marriage. How do I keep my faith
Speaker 1: and strength with everything going on? Thank you, Tabitha, Tabitha,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine what
Speaker 1: you're going through and the strength that it took you
Speaker 1: to even write this email and for me to say
Speaker 1: it out loud like this on a podcast. I want
Speaker 1: to thank you for your vulnerability and your willingness to
Speaker 1: not hide in a closet and disappear. Some people get
Speaker 1: news like this and they just they they think that
Speaker 1: they're the flawed one and they're the ones that have
Speaker 1: the problems, and their husband was probably right to cheat
Speaker 1: on him, and he's probably right to fall out of
Speaker 1: love with them because there's something wrong with them. And
Speaker 1: that's the wrong way to go. That's that's the wrong
Speaker 1: way to go. You're your husband is dealing with some
Speaker 1: major demons. And I was going to ask you before
Speaker 1: I hit this sentence that says he has cheated on me.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you that sounds like that
Speaker 1: might be going on when he says he's unhappy and
Speaker 1: he has been for quite some time. That usually doesn't
Speaker 1: happen in that way unless he's also seeing somebody else
Speaker 1: that makes that's making up for something that he feels
Speaker 1: lacking in his life. And there's some somebody new is
Speaker 1: filling some void in him because he's he's not whole
Speaker 1: in himself, regardless of you, and so he's seeking it
Speaker 1: from other places. So that means it has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with you. He's he has problems with his confidence
Speaker 1: or who he is, or maybe he's getting a little
Speaker 1: bit older and he's looking in the mirror and going, man,
Speaker 1: I just I think I've missed my prime. I'm out
Speaker 1: of my prime now. I peaked and when I was
Speaker 1: twenty one, and now I need something to help lift
Speaker 1: me up. And my wife is you know, we have
Speaker 1: three kids together, and it's kind of old news now
Speaker 1: and I need something new and fresh to replenish me.
Speaker 1: So it's not about the new girl being better than you.
Speaker 1: It's something missing in him now. I would say on
Speaker 1: this podcast it's God missing out of his life because
Speaker 1: if he had if he was filled with the Holy
Speaker 1: Spirit and he loved Jesus and he was pursuing him passionately.
Speaker 1: This wouldn't this wouldn't happen. It just doesn't. It doesn't
Speaker 1: happen that way. But that's not your question. Your question
Speaker 1: is how do I keep my faith and strength with
Speaker 1: everything going on? Well, I think immediately, because you brought
Speaker 1: up faith, immediately you seek the church and seek you
Speaker 1: seek wise counsel in the church. And so there's three
Speaker 1: steps for you, and it's probably in this order. One pray.
Speaker 1: You take it all to God. You bring everything to him,
Speaker 1: you lay it at his feet, and you tell him
Speaker 1: something like this, God, I can't this this what's going
Speaker 1: on with me right now. It's terrifying, it's humiliating, and
Speaker 1: I feel so lost and so vulnerable. I can't do
Speaker 1: it at all, can't accomplish happiness on my own. I
Speaker 1: need you, God, and need you. Fill me with your spirit,
Speaker 1: fill me with your strength, increase my faith, show me
Speaker 1: that you're a sovereign God, that you're in control, that
Speaker 1: you have a plan for me in my life and
Speaker 1: my kids. Because it feels like the walls are falling
Speaker 1: down right now, Give that to him, Give that to God.
Speaker 1: It's like It's like when I see my son and
Speaker 1: he's he's doing a chore that I've given him right,
Speaker 1: and I'm watching him from the window and I see
Speaker 1: him struggling with the chore, and I know that he's
Speaker 1: he can't do it on his own, but he's going
Speaker 1: to try as hard as he can. And I see
Speaker 1: it that he's failing over and over and over. I
Speaker 1: know what's going on. I know how it could, how
Speaker 1: the problem can be solved, how he can get through this,
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to help him until he finally
Speaker 1: comes over to me and he goes, Daddy, I can't
Speaker 1: do this. Can you help me? And then I go, yes,
Speaker 1: let me help you. You're ready, you're ready. Now you've
Speaker 1: given it back to me. You've shown me that you're
Speaker 1: that you're dedicated to this and you can't do it,
Speaker 1: and you bring it back to me and I go, yeah, buddy,
Speaker 1: let me help you. Let me show you how to
Speaker 1: get through this. So that that's what God is doing
Speaker 1: to you. He's watching you and he's seeing the pain,
Speaker 1: and he's he sympathizes with that pain. Our God sympathizes
Speaker 1: with every level of suffering that we have. We have
Speaker 1: a God. We have a God that died on the
Speaker 1: cross as a man, one hundred percent man, one hundred
Speaker 1: percent God. He died feeling every bit of emotional and
Speaker 1: physical and spiritual pain that a human could feel. So
Speaker 1: he sees you and he acknowledges that, and he waits
Speaker 1: for you to turn to him and go, it's you,
Speaker 1: it's yours. That's step one. Step two. You read your Bible.
Speaker 1: You get up every day and you go, God, I'm
Speaker 1: giving it to you. That's that's our communication. Prayer is
Speaker 1: me talking to you. But your Bible, your word, is
Speaker 1: you talking to me. So I'm gonna soak in this word.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read it every morning. His mercies are new
Speaker 1: every morning. So I'm gonna get up when when the
Speaker 1: mercies are new and fresh, and I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: recharge myself. I'm gonna get into your word and i'm
Speaker 1: gonna see what you have to say to me. And
Speaker 1: you're gonna find out that that book is different than
Speaker 1: any other book. Any other book. You read it and
Speaker 1: you start to get to know the book as you
Speaker 1: read it, that's any other book, but the Bible's different.
Speaker 1: The Bible. You start to read it and you realize
Speaker 1: at some point the book is getting to know me.
Speaker 1: This book knows me before I know it. Your third
Speaker 1: step is seek wise counsel, and I believe you could
Speaker 1: find that at your church, a good church, a good
Speaker 1: solid church. If you don't have a good church in
Speaker 1: your town, email Take and Read podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's my buddy, my close friend, pastor Chad, who's on
Speaker 1: this podcast a lot. He helps people find churches. So
Speaker 1: if anyone's listening and they're like, I'm in a town
Speaker 1: and I don't know there's too many options or there's
Speaker 1: not enough options, and I don't know where to go
Speaker 1: on Sundays, I don't know what church to join, email
Speaker 1: that email Chad Take and Read podcast at gmail dot
Speaker 1: com and ask him. But go find a church in
Speaker 1: your town and bring it to bring it to the elders.
Speaker 1: Join a small group. You're gonna find other women that
Speaker 1: have been through the same thing, other men that have
Speaker 1: gone through the same thing from the other side, the
Speaker 1: other perspective, and you're gonna seek wise counsel and you go,
Speaker 1: what do I do? And they're gonna go, we're gonna
Speaker 1: walk through this with you. So you take it to
Speaker 1: God in prayer, you read your Bible, and you seek
Speaker 1: wise counsel, and you will make it through this Tabitha.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna go away. It's not gonna get erased
Speaker 1: or disappeared. There's no power of God to just zap
Speaker 1: you like a genie and go, I'm gonna erase this
Speaker 1: problem boom. There's no power in that. The power is
Speaker 1: when God goes, I'm gonna get you through this fire together,
Speaker 1: and I'll bring you out the other side, holding your hand,
Speaker 1: carrying you through it. There's a power in that. And
Speaker 1: then one day, might be five years, might be ten,
Speaker 1: might be fifteen years. Down the road, you're gonna look
Speaker 1: back and you go there was a turning point in
Speaker 1: my life and everything changed for the better. And I'm
Speaker 1: so glad of I'm so glad from my story and
Speaker 1: who I am in the history and this the chief
Speaker 1: eating husband I had, and what I learned from that.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I went through it because now I'm stronger,
Speaker 1: I'm more refined by fire. It took fire to refine
Speaker 1: the gold, but it made me so much better through
Speaker 1: the fire, through the heat, the compression of this suffering
Speaker 1: that you're going through will make you better. And it
Speaker 1: sounds so hard to hear that from your perspective. It
Speaker 1: sounds so hard to because you seem you seem like
Speaker 1: you're just right in the middle of the fire. How
Speaker 1: am I ever going to get out of this? How
Speaker 1: am I going to look back and go? I was
Speaker 1: refined by this, this pain. But you will, you will.
Speaker 1: And nothing that I've said so far, nothing so far,
Speaker 1: means from what I've heard from you, that you're going
Speaker 1: to absolutely give up on this marriage. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that because because God can heal him too. He can
Speaker 1: heal him. He could turn this around, He could bring
Speaker 1: him back to you, He could heal this marriage. He can,
Speaker 1: So I'm not I'm not discounting that that could happen.
Speaker 1: But I'm telling you your task right now for you
Speaker 1: and these three kids, And I'm so sorry, Tabitha. Where
Speaker 1: do we go next? Right here? Here's a lighter hearted one,
Speaker 1: So this podcast question. Hello Granger, my name is Brendan.
Speaker 1: I'm from Indiana. I came to your recent concert in Valparaiso, Indiana.
Speaker 1: Amazing show, and I was wondering if Earl Dibblis Junior
Speaker 1: ever dropped the guitar when it was thrown to him
Speaker 1: from the side of the stage. I've been wondering this
Speaker 1: for a long time. Thanks for the amazing music. It
Speaker 1: has brought me through so many hard times. Thanks for responding.
Speaker 1: Yee yep, what's up, Brendan. Shout out to Indiana Earl.
Speaker 1: There's a moment at the end of our show when Chris,
Speaker 1: my tour manager, throws Earl's guitar to him. And depending
Speaker 1: on the show, it could be a far throw, it
Speaker 1: could be a short throw. But we've done it for
Speaker 1: eleven years now. We've done this, this antic as we
Speaker 1: call it. And I can remember two times when the
Speaker 1: guitar was dropped. And the rule is, if the guitar
Speaker 1: has ever dropped, I have to smash it on the stage,
Speaker 1: like that's the rule. I have to destroy it right
Speaker 1: then and there. And so probably not many of you
Speaker 1: listening have seen this happen, but one time was in
Speaker 1: Corpus Christi, Texas at Concrete Amphitheater Concrete Street. I Uh,
Speaker 1: there was a big wind and Blake threw it. Is
Speaker 1: when Blake was throwing the guitar, he threw it and
Speaker 1: the wind caught it and just sailed into Randy Rogers
Speaker 1: drum set. So that was bad. That was a bad day.
Speaker 1: And I destroyed it. I just took it and took
Speaker 1: the guitar and destroyed it. These are replicas, by the way,
Speaker 1: there's not there's not. I don't use the original. The
Speaker 1: original is in this podcast room with me. The second
Speaker 1: time it happened, we were on Florida Georgia line tour
Speaker 1: and we were in Canada in an arena and Frank Maglin,
Speaker 1: another guy was throwing it and and he missed it
Speaker 1: as it was going back to him. So I caught it,
Speaker 1: played it, threw it back to him, and he dropped
Speaker 1: it as it was going back to him. And so
Speaker 1: although it wasn't it wasn't that big a deal to
Speaker 1: the crowd. All the other bands that were there that
Speaker 1: night just gave his grief for years. They still do.
Speaker 1: They called called him Frank but butter Hands Frank Butterhands.
Speaker 1: But Chris Lee, my tour manager, took overthrowing. We have
Speaker 1: not missed one since. So good question, and we'll see
Speaker 1: we'll see what happens next question. The subject line interesting
Speaker 1: again says I wasn't religious enough. Hey, Granger, my name's Kyle.
Speaker 1: I'm from Sarasota Springs, New York. I'm a sophomore in
Speaker 1: college and the year started out great. I met literally
Speaker 1: the perfect person from me. It was such an amazing
Speaker 1: change from the past relationship I was in. But after
Speaker 1: a couple months, he acted so weird and we went
Speaker 1: on a and she ended our relationship because I wasn't
Speaker 1: religious enough for her. I told her that I want
Speaker 1: her to be happy and if that means us breaking up,
Speaker 1: then I'm okay with that, even though I wasn't because
Speaker 1: I miss talking to her. I'm somewhat religious, but not
Speaker 1: crazy about it. But I never thought about that relationship
Speaker 1: that our relationship would end over it, and it hurts
Speaker 1: because I know it's my fault. I've tried talking to
Speaker 1: some new girls, but it just seems like everyone only
Speaker 1: wants to hook up and I've never been into that.
Speaker 1: My question is what should I do. I know God
Speaker 1: has a plan set for everyone and everyone will work
Speaker 1: it out in the end, but I've lost some motivation
Speaker 1: because after my relationship ended, it seems that everything just
Speaker 1: got worse. If you have any advice, please let me know.
Speaker 1: It comes from Kyle in New York. What's up, Kyle,
Speaker 1: shout out to New York. Tough situation you're in, but common.
Speaker 1: I would tell you a couple of things. If a
Speaker 1: girl tells you she wants to break up because you're
Speaker 1: not religious enough, I think that sounds like an excuse.
Speaker 1: It sounds like it's not me, it's you, you know,
Speaker 1: or it's not you, it's me. However you want to
Speaker 1: look at it, it sounds like you're a common breakup line,
Speaker 1: and that's that is a common one, like sorry, this
Speaker 1: is a God thing, Like God, God has a different
Speaker 1: plan for me. And there's truth to that. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's truth to what she's saying. But the fact
Speaker 1: is it just wouldn't have gone down that way. If
Speaker 1: she truly loved you in a in a life partner
Speaker 1: type way, then it just wouldn't have gone down like that.
Speaker 1: She would have said, hey, Kyle, we need to talk,
Speaker 1: and she sits you down and she just goes, I
Speaker 1: love you. I can see myself spending the rest of
Speaker 1: my life with you. But there's something that's been bothering
Speaker 1: me that I want to I want to walk through
Speaker 1: with you. I'm I'm becoming closer to God. And I
Speaker 1: feel like you're not and I want to start taking
Speaker 1: you to church with me, right Like, that's that's just
Speaker 1: the way it would go down if she truly loved you.
Speaker 1: But she doesn't. I know, I know that's tough, but
Speaker 1: that's that's the campfire talk we're having. You know, this
Speaker 1: is a safe spot around the campfire. And I'm looking
Speaker 1: at it from the outside looking in, and I'm just
Speaker 1: telling you, she would have tried harder to make it work.
Speaker 1: She would have this would have drug out for a
Speaker 1: year of her taking you to church and working and praying.
Speaker 1: Can we pray together, Kyle? You know, like can we pray?
Speaker 1: Because But it's just not that. It's not that she's
Speaker 1: using that as an excuse. Maybe she likes another guy.
Speaker 1: Maybe she has her eyes on somebody else already. That's
Speaker 1: that could be. Maybe she just doesn't love you anymore,
Speaker 1: or never really did. I know these are hard words
Speaker 1: to hear, but I'm trying trying to be honest. Would
Speaker 1: this podcast would suck if I just sugarcoated everything and said, no, man,
Speaker 1: she probably loves you. I don't think she does, Kyle,
Speaker 1: And so I would I would let her go. I
Speaker 1: would let her go, but I would I personally me,
Speaker 1: I would want to dig in with you around this
Speaker 1: campfire and talk about this religious thing. Right. It's important
Speaker 1: to know that you're who you're listening to. I am
Speaker 1: a Christian follower of Christ, and I don't believe in
Speaker 1: orthodox religion. I don't believe in structured legalist religion at all.
Speaker 1: I don't believe in you gotta you gotta pray three
Speaker 1: times a day, and you gotta face west, and you
Speaker 1: gotta put your mat down, and you gotta you have
Speaker 1: to go to church, and you have to get baptized,
Speaker 1: and you have to I don't believe in have to's.
Speaker 1: I believe in a personal relationship with our savior, Jesus,
Speaker 1: and that through the faith in that, through the trust,
Speaker 1: the complete surrender to that, the fruits of it, the outcrop.
Speaker 1: What happens after that is you want to be better.
Speaker 1: You want to start aligning your life with Christ. You
Speaker 1: want to start being more like He taught us to be.
Speaker 1: You want to not in a religious orderly perfect. I
Speaker 1: got to be perfect to get to God. Way, That's
Speaker 1: not it. It never is. In fact, when Jesus was
Speaker 1: on earth, he totally disrupted the Pharisees and anyone that
Speaker 1: thought like that, anyone that thought you can get to
Speaker 1: heaven by being perfect, and you have to do this
Speaker 1: in this and line it all up, and if you
Speaker 1: do it enough, and then the gods like Santa Claus
Speaker 1: and he has a naughty list and a good list,
Speaker 1: and the more checks you get on the good list,
Speaker 1: the closer you're going to get to heaven. Jesus just
Speaker 1: disrupted that mentality, and as humans, we constantly fall back
Speaker 1: into thinking that that's what we need to do. This
Speaker 1: is off topic, but it's relevant to the idea that
Speaker 1: she says you're not religious, and you say your quote
Speaker 1: is I am somewhat religious, but not crazy about it.
Speaker 1: But then two lines later you say, I know God
Speaker 1: has a plan set for everyone. Those two things you
Speaker 1: got to admit they don't really line up. Because although
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be anti religion with you, trying to
Speaker 1: sit with you and be anti religious at the same time,
Speaker 1: if you truly trust that God has a plan and
Speaker 1: then he's sovereign, meaning all knowing, all powerful, all creating,
Speaker 1: if you truly believe that with faith, then I don't
Speaker 1: think you would say I'm somewhat religious. So do you
Speaker 1: see the difference in what I'm trying to say that
Speaker 1: although Jesus came in as anti establishment, anti religious groups,
Speaker 1: there is a there is still an outcropping a fruit
Speaker 1: of what you would see from you and your life.
Speaker 1: And I think you would quickly say, I might not
Speaker 1: be religious, but I love Jesus and I'm pursuing him passionately.
Speaker 1: I'm seeking a personal relationship with him. I think I
Speaker 1: think you would have included something like that if that's
Speaker 1: what you truly felt, and so I would encourage I
Speaker 1: would encourage you there that as you're as you're kind
Speaker 1: of navigating the new chapter of your life without her,
Speaker 1: and you're trying to figure out if you want to
Speaker 1: fight for her and bring her back, or if you're
Speaker 1: going to find somebody new, or if you're going to
Speaker 1: go solo for a little bit. During that that all
Speaker 1: these decisions you're just rolling around with, then you start
Speaker 1: wrestling with this idea that maybe maybe I don't have
Speaker 1: the relationship with God that I thought I had, and
Speaker 1: maybe there's there's some kind of truth to what she
Speaker 1: told me. I'm not going to take what she said
Speaker 1: is is absolute mandates for me to start being more
Speaker 1: structurally religious. But I'm going to wonder if maybe there's
Speaker 1: something in my life that it's not kind of not
Speaker 1: lining up with what Jesus wants from me. And it
Speaker 1: doesn't start from me doing those things. It's the opposite.
Speaker 1: It starts from me pursuing Jesus. And like I said
Speaker 1: earlier in this podcast, it starts with you, which just
Speaker 1: going just just like just like the girl that lost
Speaker 1: her cousin, going to Jesus and going can't do this anymore.
Speaker 1: I've tried. I've tried, and things keep falling apart around me,
Speaker 1: and I feel depression, and I feel lost, and I
Speaker 1: feel broken, and I don't want to do it and
Speaker 1: I can't do it. So God, I'm giving it back
Speaker 1: to you, to you. Just take it from me. Take
Speaker 1: it from me, let me pursue you, use me, use
Speaker 1: me as a vessel, like just tear me apart and
Speaker 1: use me for your purpose, not mine. I don't want
Speaker 1: to do mine anymore. Keeps failing, it only ends up
Speaker 1: in depression. I might have little victories here and there,
Speaker 1: but it leaves me feeling empty in the end. That's
Speaker 1: what I would have. That's the conversation I would have tonight, Kyle.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, buddy. I know I gave you way
Speaker 1: more than what you're really asking, but that's my thoughts
Speaker 1: and that's what you get from this podcast, my thoughts.
Speaker 1: Thank y'all for listening. Thanks for joining me. We got
Speaker 1: a new year coming up and a whole new year
Speaker 1: of podcast. Thanks for being with me every Monday morning.
Speaker 1: I love you guys. We'll see you soon. Ye yeep.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by
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Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a QUI question for me that you
Speaker 1: would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Ye