WEBVTT - How Men Think with Ross Mathews 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:03.880 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:09.080 is How Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hello everyone, Hey, 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:11.680 it's Ross Matthews. I don't know you know who I am, 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:13.920 but maybe you saw me on RuPaul's Drag Race as 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:17.320 a judge, or on Chelsea Lately or The Red Carpets 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:19.160 like you know Tonight Show with Jay lenn and now 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:22.200 I'm on the Drew Barrymore Show every single day. I'm 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:24.880 also an author, man up a name dropper two of 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:27.320 my books, and enough about me. I am so happy 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:31.280 to be guest hosting How Men Think. That's right. I'm 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:33.640 gonna answer all your questions and try to help you 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.519 understand how men think. I would like to understand how 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:40.120 men think. I have a little insight. Um, But first, 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:43.800 this is eleven questions with me, Ross Matthews. All right, 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:45.839 let's get into it. I don't know these questions, but 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:49.760 I'm going to answer them and nothing's off like off limits, 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:52.680 So we're just gonna go there. Up. First, what am 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.520 I known for? Well, I mean I just told you 0:00:56.920 --> 0:00:59.600 who are you in number two? Who are you in 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:03.320 your purse? Still life? Oh? I'm much uh more normal 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:05.240 in my personal life, you know. On television, I wear 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:09.160 like you know and Drew Grace sequence and on Drew Barry. 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:11.200 I'm sure I wear suits, but in real life, I'm 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:14.680 like elastic head to toe. I live in Palm Springs 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:17.399 for you know, part of the year and then New 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:20.280 York the rest of the year. And um, I really 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:25.120 just enjoy being home with my fiance and watching fiance 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:28.760 like a normal person. Uh. Question number three, the three 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:32.600 shows that you are binge watching, Well, hello, y fiance 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:35.800 the other way and before the ninety Days, and then 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:38.200 I also watched A Single Life where um, after the 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:41.000 couple's inevitably break up after ninety day, they go on 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.760 that show. I know I need to get a life, 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:47.560 don't judge me. Question number four, what is your favorite food? Oh, 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.440 hands down pizza. I don't really eat it because my body. 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:52.640 I'm getting it together. You know, I lost sixty pounds 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:55.520 and um keeping it off. But I had to break 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:58.400 up with Pizza. It was hard for me. And uh, 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:02.240 whenever I see him, it's still still hurts. Uh. Number five, 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:04.960 tell us about your career. Well, you know, I always 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:07.000 wanted to be on television ever since I was a 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:08.919 little kid growing up in a farm town and now 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:13.120 I just celebrated twenty years on TV starting at the 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.720 Tonight Show with Jay Leno was a correspondent and you know, 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:19.320 still going, still going. Question number six, what is my 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:22.880 biggest fear in life? You know, I really think it's 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:25.160 not living up to my potential. I know that it 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:28.160 should be like heights or something like that. But I 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:30.200 used to be afraid of heights until I went skydiving. 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:35.519 That'll cure that. Question number seven, what is my biggest pet? Peeves? Oh? 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:39.480 How are people who are like just mean for no reason? 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:42.680 Like sometimes you know, like you have to stand up 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:44.560 for yourself or you have to point out that something's 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:47.320 wrong or fight injustice and you have to, you know, 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:51.600 really go there. But some people are just malicious just 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:53.600 for the sake of it. Yeah, I don't like those people. 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:58.320 Question number eight, What makes me the most happy? You know, 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:03.320 A lot makes me happy. Um My, my fiance and 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.960 and are the life we built makes me really happy 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:09.120 and proud. My dogs make me happy. I have three 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:13.840 little rescued chihuahuas who are like so unbelievably cute. And 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.680 then you know, I think we all have a purpose here. 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:20.160 My purpose is to like communicate and make people smile. 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:23.240 I think so when I'm on stage and I'm creating 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:26.240 a moment with an audience, um or even unlike my 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:30.880 podcast straight Talk or here with you all, creating and 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:33.640 connecting is why I'm here and that makes me happy. 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:37.880 Question number nine, what is my ideal Saturday morning? Oh? Please? Okay? 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:39.600 I am up early because I went to bed early. 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:40.840 You know what I mean. I am. I live my 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:43.960 life like an active senior citizen. So I am up early. 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.640 I get so much done by ten am. Uh. And 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.200 then at ten am, home Goods open. So girl, you know, 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:50.920 I'm a home Goods because I need some sort of 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:53.360 chokey for that shelf right there. It's been driving me crazy. 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:56.680 So um. And then I got a brunch, which is 0:03:56.680 --> 0:04:00.040 just a way of life. Hello homosexual and um and 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:02.840 uh you know, nap, try an do a little now. 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:05.200 If I'm in Palm Springs, I hit the penny slots 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:10.360 or I go uh an taking. And I'm here in 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.920 New York, you know, we just try to stay warm 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:16.880 because it's freezing. Number ten? What uh? What am I 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:22.360 more of an athlete or an armshare quarterback? I mean, okay, 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:25.120 I think these are metaphors. So because I'm not an athlete. 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:27.359 But in life, am I a doer? Or am I 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.520 sit back and critique er? Oh? I'm a doer, and 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.799 then I'll critique it and question number eleven. What keeps 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.840 me motivated? Well, it's the same thing. It relates back 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.960 to what my biggest fear is. What keeps me motivated 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:42.800 is to reach my potential to do what I am 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:46.000 meant to do here on this earth. So, um, I 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:48.400 keep trying. I don't like a work in progress. I 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:50.480 like the idea of perfection in progress because I don't 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:52.760 think we ever achieved it, but we can always keep trying. 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:55.320 All right. That's enough for me though, because I know 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:58.320 you have questions and you've been hitting up the instagram 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:02.160 How Men Thinks? So coming up, we're turning it around 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:14.200 on you. I'm gonna be answering your questions. Hi again 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:17.880 me Ross Matthews guests so saying how men think this week? 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.880 And we have turned the reins over to you. You 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.760 have questions for me. These have been written in on 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:26.600 the Instagram How Men Think? Let's get going. Here's our 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:29.440 first question. It says, Ross, You're the life of the party. Well, 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:32.440 thanks for noticing. Have you always been this outgoing? Do 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:34.560 guys like it when a girl is the life of 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:37.719 the party or is it intimidating? Well, okay, that's a 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:40.480 two parter. So have I always been this outgoing girl? 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.080 I've just always been me, you know what I mean? 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:46.200 And I remember there was a time when, um, I 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.000 realized like how different I was from everybody else, and 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:50.919 I thought, oh, I could really just hate myself or 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:52.800 I could just be all in. And it was so 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.120 much easier just to be all in, right, It took 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.920 so much more effort to hate. So I've just always 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:00.360 been like this. And then do people lie get when 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:03.600 other people are the life of the party? Are isn't intimidating? 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:07.040 It depends on the person. Um Some some people are 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.919 really turned off by it because it brings a spotlight 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:13.279 onto them they don't like or maybe they're competitive about 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:17.800 the spotlight. So I think it's better when relationships have 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:20.880 a flower and a gardener. Have you heard that that 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:25.440 metaphor before? Where one person likes the spotlight and the 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:28.000 other person loves to be a support system. If you 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:30.680 can find that sort of dynamic, you've got you've got 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:34.000 a good relationship going. All right. Next question, when did 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:35.680 you know you were ready to settle down? Was it 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:37.640 full speed ahead once you're ready, or did you ever 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:41.560 second guess making a relationship official? Well, uh, for me 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:45.560 and my fiance Wellington, it was a no brainer. We met. 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.200 It started with a breakfast burrito on a rooftop pool 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:51.440 in Portavarta. It was like nine in the morning and 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:53.720 I saw him and we started talking and it felt 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:55.919 like I had known him my whole life. And so no, 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.200 I didn't pump any break are you can When you 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:00.120 win the lottery, what do you do? You rush to 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:03.360 put that check in the bank. So about a year 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.719 into our relationship, I put a ring on it, and 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:10.920 now we're planning the wedding. Next question, you're a homeowner. 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:13.520 How do you make sure your home feels equally like 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:17.040 one partner's home as the others. Yeah, so I I've 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.520 you know, I've had many homes, but this is the 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:22.160 first time that I bought a home with somebody. Uh. 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:24.760 My fiance and I just purchased a new home on 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:26.920 the East Coast. I'll always still live in Palm Springs, 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:31.320 but the home is beautiful and it is important. You 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:34.400 cannot be overbearing when you are decorating a home or 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:37.119 it's going to feel like one person is a guest 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.440 in a home. So you know, I think you have 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:43.760 to have equal part power of veto where uh if 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:46.840 if I like something and I want it and my 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:51.440 fiance Willington vetos it, it's it's sorry, you're not coming 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:54.559 home with us. So you don't have to love everything, 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:57.640 but you do have to have that ultimate power to 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:02.440 say noope. Next question, As a judge RuPaul's dag race, 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:05.240 you watch how others express themselves. How do you help 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:08.040 a partner that doesn't know how to express their needs 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.360 and wants? Well, girl, I don't know how to help you, 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:12.240 because if you're with a partner that doesn't know how 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:14.240 to express what they need and want, then your partner 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:17.600 needs to do work on themselves because I don't think 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:19.920 you're capable of being in a grown up a relationship 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:23.080 if you are not a fully formed version of yourself. 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.240 And it sounds like maybe the person you're with needs 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:27.640 a little time back in the oven to fully bake 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:30.320 all right. Next question, what if a guy is not 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:34.440 funny through text at the beginning of the talking stage. 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:36.320 Is this a red flag? If I'm looking for a 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:39.160 fun and adventurous partner. I don't know if it's a 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:42.080 red flag. Some people are good text, like you know, 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:44.719 I give good text. I have to say my punctuation 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.120 is on point to think very much, and I'm able 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:50.599 to use a little riotion and emojis to be hilarious. 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.960 But maybe that's not the right forum. I would certainly 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.240 give this person a chance. I are l in real 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:00.800 life before you discard them, But I will say no 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:04.720 sense of humor is always a red flag. Up next, 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:09.160 As a woman in my thirties, I'm so over being single. 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:12.600 Am I settling if I reevaluate my standards? If I 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:16.080 do reevaluate my standards, will I be unhappy in my 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:18.520 future relationship? You know, we talked about this on The 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.120 Drew Barrymore Show. All the time Drew talks about when 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:24.160 she was younger, she wanted a bad boy and uh, 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:27.720 you know, someone with edge, And now the only priority 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:31.360 she has is are you nice? So I don't think 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:34.680 you're settling at all by reevaluating your standards. Think about it. 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:38.480 You're in your thirties now. You probably have been into 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.360 the same type of person or same type of guy 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:42.400 since you were like in your teens and your twenties. 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:44.920 How's that working out for you? So? I think you 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:48.760 do need to reapproach dating as somebody in your thirties now, 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:51.720 just like we reapproach food. Right. We used to eat 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.280 bags of fun In's Girl. I have been there, Cheetah 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:57.719 high um. But that's young food. And what that does 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.199 to your body now is like you know, you a 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:02.400 whole pizza, You're gonna be on the toilet the next day, 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:04.840 just on comfy. And you have to think about that 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:09.520 with men as well, because men can be junk food. 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:12.120 It may feel really good in the moment, but then 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:15.199 you're on the emotional toilet for a week or two after. 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.240 So how about just doing things that are good for us, 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:21.920 whether it's food or people. So if that means re evaluating, 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.440 I'm all in for that. Well that was fun. Thanks 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:28.720 for your questions. And next coming up, we're hitting the phones. 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:31.120 That's right, you're calling me. We're gonna do this live. 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:44.679 Nothing's off limits. It's Ross Matthews on how men thinks? Hi, Katie, 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:47.560 how are you? I'm good? How are you? Ross? I 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:53.440 am a phenomenal Now how can I help you today? Well? So, Okay, 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:56.040 my friends and I have been talking and we've come 0:10:56.080 --> 0:11:00.200 to the consensus that we all agree it's okay to 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:04.440 check our boyfriend's phones. Check you check your check your 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:08.360 boyfriend's phone, like pick it up and so like when 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:11.120 he's not looking to just kind of give a little glance, 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:13.480 like kind of like pick it up and you know, 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.200 trying to see what kind of information we can get 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:20.320 out of it. But I feel kind of guilty doing it. Yeah, 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.240 and I don't know, Like I know, my friends say 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:27.000 that it's fine, but um, I don't know. I just 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:31.160 feel kind of weird. So I'm not quite sure if 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.760 I'm the right here. And um, you know, if he 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:40.040 found out, do you think he would be met? Um? 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.080 I mean we're in a relationship and we're on paper, 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:48.840 are sharing exactly everything, but you know, is there a 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.959 better way to check his phone without him finding out? 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.800 And like if if I did find something, like should 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:57.080 I confront him? Like I feel like I'm just presented 0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:01.839 with all these different problems and I feel kind of guilty. Well, 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:03.720 let me ask you a question. Do you trust your boyfriend? 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:07.400 I do? I do? And like I think it's just 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:10.840 I'm just I'm a bit of a snoop um. And 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:12.680 it's not so much that I feel like I'm gonna 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:16.040 find that he's, you know, cheating on me or something, 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:17.800 but like I just kind of like want to see 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:22.480 surprises before they happen. I mean, like I feel like 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.560 I'm I'm approaching this in a more innocent way. But 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.160 I mean, am I still the jerk in this? Yes? 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:35.400 You are the jerk in this? Yes you are, because 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.199 if you trust your boyfriend, then you need to trust 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.000 your boyfriend. You can't say you trust somebody and then 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:41.120 check their phone. So this is on you. But if 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:43.560 he leaves it out, it's not It's not like he's 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:45.960 hiding it. So I'm just I'm just he leaves it 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.000 out because he trusts you not to check his phone. 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:53.480 So if you have a reason to not to not 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:55.439 trust your boyfriend, the growing up thing to do is 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.160 to ask your boyfriend about that reason. I think I 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:01.480 think checking somebody's phone is one of the most vile 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:04.280 things you can do because you're not using your grown 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.160 up girl. You want, you want the answer, you want 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.520 me to agree with you. No, No, I just hate 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.360 the answer. No, I felt fair enough. This is no. 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:14.439 It is such an invasion of privacy. And if you 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.720 have an issue or a concern or a question for 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:19.880 your boyfriend, use your gowing up words and ask him 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:24.319 about it. But it seems like the right thing to do. 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:28.760 But that's hard. Well, who said being a grown up 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:33.000 was easy? No one, no one. That's why kids don't 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.240 do it. But now you are. You are a grown up. 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:37.640 You're in a grown up relationship. If and if you 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:40.959 want this to go anywhere with him, do not. This 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:42.719 is true. I don't. I don't want this to be 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:45.120 like a bone of contention, Like I don't want him 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:50.680 to to find out that I've been sneaky, even if 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:54.400 I feel it was in good attentions. But you're right, actually, 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.560 just I should just talk to him because in an 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:02.360 adult relationship, he's just going to tell me the truth. Uh. 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:05.680 And and if you're not capable of not checking his phone, 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:08.360 then you're not capable of being in an adult relationship. 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:14.839 So just sit in that. Okay mm hmm mm hmm okay, Okay, 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:19.040 you got this. I appreciate it. Yes, thank you, thank you, 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:24.520 You're welcome. Um, don't do it. Thank you so much, Katie, 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:27.400 and good luck to you and your boyfriend. Thank you. Ross. 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:31.920 I'm I feel pretty good, you know, you know, aside 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:34.280 from what I've done, but you know, I feel good 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.480 about our future. I appreciate that. All right, Well, you 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.360 keep calling it if you need need any more help, 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:45.000 but be a good trusting person, all right? Up next, Hi, Sarah, 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:49.520 it's Ross. How can I help you? Well, I'm a 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:52.200 woman who is type A someone who likes to have 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:56.360 plans and always follows through. And if a date flakes 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.240 on me once, should I give him a second chance 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.880 or should I just say bye bye bye? I mean, 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:06.560 how many chances are too many chances? Or am I 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.080 being too harsh? Well? Okay, it's sort of a gut thing, 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:14.480 right because legitimately things can come up and people have 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.720 to cancel last minute. Right, So if you feel like, hmmmm, 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:20.800 this is this is this is real deal stuff, then 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.400 I would say give him another chance. But if you 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.200 just think this person is a flake, that, I mean, 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:28.240 it's okay to be like bye, because you know, we 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:29.960 are all really busy. I mean, I got a lot 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.440 going on, don't you. Yeah. I mean you're kind of 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:37.600 just saying, follow my gut. That's exactly what I'm saying, 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:39.840 you know, because there's no there's no right, there's no 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:42.800 yes or no to this because sometimes things come up. 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:44.640 I've had to cancel things before. I'm sure you have to, 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:48.640 but I don't know, Like I think there's there's a 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:52.200 lot to your intuition. So is there a guy in 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:57.840 particular this happened recently? Um, yeah, I mean it's it's 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:00.880 happened a few times. But yes, Reese Lee, and he 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:02.880 just said it was a mix up, you know, he 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:06.720 thought it was another day. But I mean it's it's 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:10.440 so inconvenient and disappointing when that happens, even just once. 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:12.640 It is. But do you feel like he was being 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:18.880 sincere mm hmm um, I actually do this time. I 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:21.240 think you know, I think he was. So maybe I 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:25.040 should just give him another chance? Yeah, one one more chance? 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.560 You get one? Yeah, if I think if if you 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.080 feel like they're their intentions are real and in their 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:33.360 in their legit, then you know I would give him 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:38.120 another chance. Okay, Well, thank you? That helps me? Yeah, 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:40.360 all right. I wish you luck, you know, and I 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.320 will tell you this, The fact that you're open to 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:45.440 giving someone else another chance is a really good sign 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.320 for you and love because that you're gonna have to 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:51.080 do that when you find even the right person. Um, 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:54.920 sometimes people need to take to well, that is true. 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.200 It's tough out there, but you've got to give people 0:16:57.240 --> 0:16:59.360 a break sometimes and hope that they do the same 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:03.240 for you. Right words, Sarah words, all right, thank you, 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:05.640 a good luck to you. Thanks so much, take care 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:15.600 you too, Bye bye. Al right, next caller, Catherine, it's Ross. Hi. Um, 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:19.919 I'm so excited. It's sorry, I'm excited too, And how 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:25.800 can I help you? Um? Well, I guess I I 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:31.239 grew up in a pretty traditional conservative household. Um, and 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:33.600 like when I reached the age where I was allowed 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:36.280 to date, I was always really nervous to tell my parents, 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:40.639 Like who I was interested in? Was that? How old 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:45.960 when you were allowed to date? Um, seventeen seventeen, So 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:49.000 like you were seeing all your friends at like fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:51.840 like go on dates experience, they probably get their first kiss, 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:56.800 and you were just sitting there like twiddling your thumbs. Yeah. 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:58.480 I mean like a lot of my friends also grew 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:02.000 up in pretty conservative households too, so you know, it 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.439 wasn't I didn't feel like out of the loop, but 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:11.280 I guess until yeah, yeah, but um, I guess I 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.639 never really cared about like what anybody's gender was, you know, 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:17.200 I cared about like who they were on the inside. 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:20.720 And then, um, this past year, I met this I 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:24.679 met this girl, and like I really fell for her 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:31.480 really hard, and yeah we doo um and like we've 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:34.200 been together every day, um, you know since we met. 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:38.920 And I'm so scared to tell my parents about her. Um, 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:43.879 I just all all the questions, like all the judgment, um, 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:47.880 you know, like I don't know, Like I just want 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:49.840 to know, Like, is there is there ever going to 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:53.760 be a good time to tell them, like they they're 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:57.600 talking to There's not gonna be a good time right time, 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:01.280 but there is going to be the best way, okay. 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:05.720 And the best way is you have to steady yourself 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:12.960 for whatever reaction, you know, because because I it could 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:16.280 go in a variety of different ways, right, So you 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:18.320 need to prepare yourself for that. It's one of the 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:23.639 burdens that comes with being, um, a person who is 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.920 in same sex relationships or I don't I don't want 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:28.840 to label you, but I can tell you my experience 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:31.920 when I came out as gay to my family. One 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:35.479 of the things I had to reckon or reconcile was 0:19:36.040 --> 0:19:38.199 the thought that I may lose my family to be 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.680 who I am. Yeah, I was very lucky. I was 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:47.000 very lucky that my family, um was wonderful, wonderful, But 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:49.320 I also didn't come from a deeply religious family. So 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:51.600 you need to if you're gonna be who you are, 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:54.359 which I suggest that you do, and be with who 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:58.200 you love. I think that's the best way to live, right. Um, 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:00.639 you need to steady yourself for the p stability that 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:06.560 people may not welcome that, even in your family. I 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:08.119 would like to think that your family is going to 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:10.639 rise up to this moment, and I really hope they do. 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:12.840 And they sound like they did a good job raising you. 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:15.320 You sound like a really good human, So I think 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:19.639 it takes good humans to make good humans. So I 0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:23.719 would um anticipate them to be able to rise up 0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:26.480 to meet you here, but also steady yourself in case 0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:32.200 they can't. That's just the reality of it. Okay, okay, okay, 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:35.439 And no matter what, no matter what, listen to me, 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:39.400 listen to me say this, okay, no matter what, now 0:20:39.840 --> 0:20:43.600 that you are perfect as is and that your love 0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:51.680 is so special. H thank you. You're welcome and good 0:20:51.760 --> 0:20:53.840 luck to you, Catherine. And I'm so happy you found 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:58.320 someone that makes you sound like that because I can't 0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:00.359 see you, but I can hear you smile when you 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:05.320 talk about her. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Thank you, 0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:11.240 good luck to you. Thanks by al. Right, next on 0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:15.520 the line, let's say hi to Jennifer. Hi, Well, thanks 0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:18.840 for calling in And how can I help you? Okay, 0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:21.960 So I need some advice. Um, I'm someone who's really 0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:26.840 into fashion. Yeah, I love to dress up and I'm 0:21:26.840 --> 0:21:30.000 really I'm sorry my arm No, I hope that was 0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:34.600 you wearing like something with bells on it? Is that? What? Yeah? 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:37.879 That's my phone? Sorry? What are you wearing right now? 0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:40.040 Can I ask you, Jennifer, if you're into fashion, like 0:21:40.080 --> 0:21:42.480 what I what outfit do you have on today? Okay? 0:21:42.520 --> 0:21:45.520 So I have these nice high waisted um like their pants, 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:47.800 but they're like, um cinched in the waist. They have 0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:51.199 buttoned their like emerald green kind of like army pants, 0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:57.280 but like you know, like the baggy kind and uh 0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:00.320 a nice little like it's like it's like I can't 0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:04.040 it's like a cammy but it's like a has embroidered 0:22:04.280 --> 0:22:07.320 stuff on it. Um, Cammy is in camusol and so 0:22:07.320 --> 0:22:09.879 what you're saying, yeah, I love you, I love you 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:12.920