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Speaker 1: You don't know me concession. I can't take back earl

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Speaker 1: arms speak.

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Speaker 2: Got a text to seven eighty five nine two that says,

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Speaker 2: over the years, my wife has a masked a ridiculous

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Speaker 2: amount of tupperware, and I take great pleasure in throwing

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Speaker 2: a piece or two away without her knowing.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow wow.

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Speaker 2: Just like our government, there needs to be checks and balances.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I feel like that couple

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Speaker 2: has been married for a very, very long and it

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Speaker 2: also sounds like she just keeps buying more.

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Speaker 1: Yes, she misses it.

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Speaker 2: But it is similar to one of our listeners today

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Speaker 2: who's going by the name Rachel. Apparently she's been married

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Speaker 2: for decades to her husband and recently something in their

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Speaker 2: life has changed.

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Speaker 1: Rachel. Welcome to the show decade.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, so ominous Rachel with that boy. I

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Speaker 2: used to be a young woman until I got married.

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Speaker 2: Is it good still?

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Speaker 1: Like, don't give me too worried. No, it's good, it's good.

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Speaker 1: It's just long. H oh well.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to get this glimpse into Brooks future.

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Speaker 2: Here the voice changer is on. You are now the

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Speaker 2: mass speaker, Rachel. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: My husband's a little older than me. Okay, he just retired,

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, after thirty five years, so good for him. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And so he worked at a tiling company. Oh tiles,

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Speaker 1: bad knees probably, yeah, and he would he would leave

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Speaker 1: it five in the morning, maybe wouldn't get home, told

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Speaker 1: like six.

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Speaker 2: Okay, do good for him, he's finally done.

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Speaker 1: He's awesome. Yeah. And I mean this is looking forward

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Speaker 1: to him retiring because I thought we could travel and

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Speaker 1: you know, have time together. And I honestly, I had

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Speaker 1: no idea how miserable I would be. What I mean,

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Speaker 1: because you know, in the morning I would go on

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Speaker 1: a jog and come back and do chores and have

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Speaker 1: a drink or tea or whatever. And now it's like,

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Speaker 1: he's home, and do you don't work? I don't work. Now.

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Speaker 1: I used to have a part time job. You were

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Speaker 1: living the life.

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Speaker 2: It was freedom for you all day.

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Speaker 1: Well, I raised four kids, so I would not say

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Speaker 1: it was no work. Well, no, that's a lot of work.

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Speaker 1: But now I mean the kids are gone, right, Yes,

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Speaker 1: the kids are gone now, so you're finally able to

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Speaker 1: enjoy some of your time. And you're saying he's encroaching

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Speaker 1: on your life. Oh my god, he's there all the time.

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Speaker 2: That's that doesn't leave here too. You don't see that

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Speaker 2: as a good thing.

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Speaker 1: He waters my plants, I mean mine, that's my job.

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Speaker 2: That you're gardening away, that's mine job.

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Speaker 1: Says that you both need more hobbies.

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Speaker 2: He's just taken all of hers.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like I just honestly I needed alone time,

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Speaker 1: and I figured out a solution.

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Speaker 2: Okay, oh good, what do you do?

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Speaker 1: I signed him up to be a crossing guard for

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Speaker 1: an elementary school.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, one of those people that stands out

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Speaker 2: there like early in the morning and helps the kids

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Speaker 2: cross the street.

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Speaker 1: Dad would love that. I need to do this too.

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Speaker 2: I mean it's only old retired men, that's that's the

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Speaker 2: crossing guards around our elementary school too. Just a bunch

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Speaker 2: of married people whose wives need them out of that ass.

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Speaker 2: They're so happy to be there all the time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wait, it's twenty miles away. He's not collab.

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Speaker 2: You signed him up somewhere far so we'd be gone longer.

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Speaker 1: We'd be gone all morning. Oh wow, smart, how'd you convince?

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Speaker 1: And you're like, I like a man in uniform put

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Speaker 1: on that reflective vest.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, show me the little tiny stop.

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Speaker 1: Side, a little stop side. Do you feel bad or no,

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Speaker 1: you're you're doesn't doesn't sound like it? Yeah, oh I

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Speaker 1: feel good?

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Speaker 2: You feel good?

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Speaker 1: Laugh tipped it off. Whatever you need to do to

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Speaker 1: keep a marriage alive?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, look, you sound really happy to get

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Speaker 2: all of your free time back. But how does your

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Speaker 2: husband feel? Because he now he has to wake up

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Speaker 2: super early all of a sudden, He's like, I just

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Speaker 2: retired to drive a half hour in the dog earlier

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Speaker 2: than his previous job.

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Speaker 1: He gets stuck at traffic. How sound is that? It

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Speaker 1: gets so much more sad.

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Speaker 2: He might be in his car right now listening to

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Speaker 2: this mass speaker confession, like, I wonder whose wife is doing.

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Speaker 1: That to their boy.

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Speaker 2: Crossing guard? I mean, does he seem happy? Does he

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Speaker 2: seem happy being a crossing guard?

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Speaker 1: It's like, honey, is there a closer elementary? And I'm like, nope,

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Speaker 1: they're all booked out. Nope, you.

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Speaker 2: Better watch your back. He's going to start to know

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Speaker 2: people in the crossing industry, you know, start to talk.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking for one that's even farther away for next year.

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Speaker 1: Two hours.

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Speaker 2: I mean we're gonna say no. You sound joyous and

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Speaker 2: you're still married, so we understand why. Yeah, alone time

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Speaker 2: is important. Yeah, so Brooke, you can unchain your husband

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Speaker 2: from the basement and just send him out to be

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Speaker 2: a cross guard at an elementary school, not at your kids' school,

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Speaker 2: another school.

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Speaker 1: That one's really close to me.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, Well, thanks for confessing that. It's good to

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Speaker 2: know true love does exist. I think a lot of

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Speaker 2: retire He's just got a great idea for it's record

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Speaker 2: number of crossing guards text end of seven, eight, five

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Speaker 2: nine too. If you have a confession you've been holding

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Speaker 2: on to, we can hid your identity, mask your voice,

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Speaker 2: and make you the next mass speaker. I've got your

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Speaker 2: phone tap coming up next