Speaker 1: Alida, you know how you've been learning lots of new
Speaker 1: words over the past two seasons of the podcast.
Speaker 2: It's a new word every week.
Speaker 3: I've learned grinder, boy, pussy, yes, and I had to
Speaker 3: learn about polyamory from the beginning of season one.
Speaker 4: Exactly. Yes, I hear you, Awida.
Speaker 1: I want to teach you another word that is really
Speaker 1: important for me.
Speaker 2: Well, what is it?
Speaker 4: The word today is compersion.
Speaker 3: It kind of sounds like a way to fix the
Speaker 3: kitchen sink, not really, so.
Speaker 1: Compersion is the word for feeling joy or contentment, for
Speaker 1: a partner's excitement, especially around them dating other people. Some
Speaker 1: people like to think of compersion as an antidote to jealousy.
Speaker 2: Can you use it in a sentence?
Speaker 4: Absolutely?
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 1: So when I see my partner meeting a new cutie
Speaker 1: and being excited about a new crush, I am always
Speaker 1: happy to notice compersion in myself. That's same excitement. Like
Speaker 1: I see them excited and I'm like, oh, I'm excited
Speaker 1: for you in with you?
Speaker 2: Wow? What does that have to do with today's episode?
Speaker 4: All right, So I'm gonna answer the episode and then
Speaker 4: I'm gonna give you a pitch. So check this out.
Speaker 1: This is day My hourly, the first where our incredible
Speaker 1: AI Daily Leanna plays matchmaker for one lucky main dater.
Speaker 1: She's gonna sort through three stellar contestants before sending one
Speaker 1: of them off on a one on one date with
Speaker 1: our star dater. I am your host, Vico Ortiz, joined
Speaker 1: by the hilarious AI Dai Leana Monte.
Speaker 2: You ready for my pitch out of the park? Do
Speaker 2: it all right?
Speaker 1: So we learn about compersion today because I was thinking,
Speaker 1: what if.
Speaker 4: One of my partners comes on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Your partner Annie, the very one. Well, I have a
Speaker 2: lot of questions.
Speaker 1: Now, well, I think Anna wants to join in on
Speaker 1: the fun and I can find joy in.
Speaker 4: Their joy some very very compression.
Speaker 2: We're talking about.
Speaker 4: That compression we're talking about.
Speaker 3: If you really want to try it? Well, this is
Speaker 3: absolutely yes. No one deserves more love. Everyone does. Everyone does.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for that. Should I go ahead
Speaker 3: and intro Annie? Oh please do?
Speaker 2: Let's go.
Speaker 1: Today's main dat looking for a connection and being guided
Speaker 1: by dear Abuilita is my partner Annie. Anna is back
Speaker 1: and forth from Puerto Rico and La but moving to
Speaker 1: La full time very very soon with their puppy it's.
Speaker 2: A very very in there.
Speaker 1: Yes, they are a sagitarious sun, cancer, rising, porest moon,
Speaker 1: and perhaps most intriguingly, Venus and Scorpio. While Scorpio Venuses
Speaker 1: have a reputation of being very intense and passionate, often
Speaker 1: secret of and possessive. Anna says they have found ways
Speaker 1: to practice devotion even in polyamorous structures devotion.
Speaker 2: Well, lucky you, Vico.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, lucky me.
Speaker 1: Indeed, Anna loves to move and dances vogue and ballroom.
Speaker 1: They process their emotions through movements, so their body is
Speaker 1: often the first point of understanding something they are experiencing.
Speaker 4: And they're attracted to big personalities.
Speaker 1: Exhibit A Exactly, That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: So, Vicot, what connections is Anna looking for right now?
Speaker 2: Or should I just wait to ask them?
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's just ask Anna.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, let's do it.
Speaker 1: All right, baby, come on in. Oh my god, Well, Anna,
Speaker 1: I am gonna actually take a true back seat in
Speaker 1: this episode. This is gonna be about you and you
Speaker 1: and Awilita. You know, I might have some idea of
Speaker 1: what type of people you're interested in, but I I
Speaker 1: really want Aita to have the full deep dive.
Speaker 3: We are going to get into the nitty gritty of things. Annie,
Speaker 3: tell me, how are you today, my.
Speaker 6: Love, Hiawatha, I'm good. I'm so excited to be here
Speaker 6: with y'all.
Speaker 3: Now, let's talk a little bit about those that you
Speaker 3: are attracted to, and if you can just define for
Speaker 3: our elitea this word that has come up again in
Speaker 3: my dictionary, tea for tea.
Speaker 4: I love that that's in your dictionary.
Speaker 6: What he thought, well, tea fort is like when the
Speaker 6: relationships are like two trans people loving on each other.
Speaker 6: And I am really here for a tea for tea connection.
Speaker 6: I'm really attracted to people who knows what they want
Speaker 6: and kind of express it. And also I talk a lot,
Speaker 6: so I kind of like people who can deep dive
Speaker 6: into like conversations about what they love and what they.
Speaker 2: Like so you can get to know what they are about.
Speaker 6: Yes, and I love seeing people be passionate and like
Speaker 6: do what they love to do in a very passionate way.
Speaker 6: That really turns me on.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, you're a passionate person.
Speaker 4: I am very passionate.
Speaker 3: Now, how do you navigate polyamory and tell me about that?
Speaker 2: How did it start for you?
Speaker 6: I don't have like a point where I was like, oh,
Speaker 6: I'm polyamorous. I feel like I learned the languish while
Speaker 6: I was living life. But I've always felt the capacity
Speaker 6: to have romantic feelings for more than one person, and
Speaker 6: that has always been my case. I didn't always know
Speaker 6: that what that was possible, or that it was called polyamory.
Speaker 6: So I think like maybe in my early twenties, when
Speaker 6: I started reading about it and other people started like
Speaker 6: making community out of it, that I was like, Oh,
Speaker 6: this is possible.
Speaker 3: I'm not crazy, cute, There's a place for everyone.
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 6: So for me, it was more like of a realization
Speaker 6: that I was not alone, and I thankfully found guy
Speaker 6: and community to do it in a sustainable way.
Speaker 3: There's one more word. I want to know a little
Speaker 3: bit more about poly saturation.
Speaker 2: What is that.
Speaker 6: Police Saturation is like when you have more connections that
Speaker 6: you actually have capacity for and it's not sustainable to
Speaker 6: you and it can lead to burn out.
Speaker 2: So what do you do at that point take a break? Well?
Speaker 6: I try not to get to that point, Okay, but
Speaker 6: that was a learning curve because I did get to
Speaker 6: that point at one point in my life and I
Speaker 6: had to basically restructure my relationships around the capacity that
Speaker 6: I did have, and that led to breakups definitely. But
Speaker 6: right now I'm really being very intentional and like, that's
Speaker 6: why I haven't been dating.
Speaker 2: So this is fun.
Speaker 6: So hello, hello, thank you for coming in. Baby, I
Speaker 6: haven't been dating anyone new.
Speaker 4: Excuse me? Who am I?
Speaker 2: Then? Vico?
Speaker 3: This is so funny. Let's find out. How is it
Speaker 3: that the two of you met? Come on you good?
Speaker 2: Jump in?
Speaker 4: Well, they slid into my DMS.
Speaker 1: First, I believe you had a partner when we first
Speaker 1: started talking over DMS?
Speaker 2: Did I did?
Speaker 1: And then a little bit halfway through that you then
Speaker 1: had a partner and also a boyfriend.
Speaker 4: Lockdown happened.
Speaker 1: I started to do a lot of performances online as
Speaker 1: a drag king, and one of them became really viral
Speaker 1: and Puerto Rico and a couple of folks reposted that video.
Speaker 1: And then Anna saw me in that video and was like.
Speaker 4: Who's this cuty and started following me.
Speaker 1: And I was around the same time listening to a
Speaker 1: band in Puerto Rico. It was like a folkloric type
Speaker 1: of music around feminism and inclusivity. And Anna was in
Speaker 1: that band and I was listening to their music, and
Speaker 1: they had already been following me on Instagram, and in
Speaker 1: one of my posts on my stories, I'm like making
Speaker 1: breakfast and I have their music in the background, and
Speaker 1: they being like, hey, I'm in that band, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, and I follow them back and we
Speaker 1: started to have a bit of a flirty conversation for
Speaker 1: about a year or so, all through dms on Instagram.
Speaker 1: And when we met, you had gone through a breakup,
Speaker 1: you were still with the boyfriend, and this is so interesting,
Speaker 1: and we had a really great and deep connection, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I really like this person. I don't
Speaker 1: just want to have a fun weekend with them. I
Speaker 1: would like to keep exploring this and see where it
Speaker 1: goes because they feel really good.
Speaker 4: And then you know, here we are.
Speaker 2: What is it that you want now?
Speaker 6: I'm not fixed in any type of connection right now.
Speaker 6: I just know I have the capacity to have a
Speaker 6: friend or a date or like a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner,
Speaker 6: like the whole spectrum.
Speaker 3: What are your red flags? Things that you do not
Speaker 3: want to see in the person and you start a friendship.
Speaker 6: With I don't like when people are not curious or like,
Speaker 6: don't ask me questions like I like to talk, as
Speaker 6: I said, and I ask a lot of questions, and
Speaker 6: for me, it's a turn off with someone it's like
Speaker 6: talking about themselves but are not really interested in the
Speaker 6: other person that they're talking to. Another red flag I
Speaker 6: think would be someone who is not present, are like
Speaker 6: always like distructed by everything, and they're not present in
Speaker 6: the moment.
Speaker 2: Intentionality definitely.
Speaker 6: So yeah, not being present and not being curious, I
Speaker 6: think it lack of intentionality, so.
Speaker 2: They don't want to be there.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, so I like to feel that they want
Speaker 6: to meet me.
Speaker 2: Are you ready?
Speaker 4: I am ready?
Speaker 2: Are you already? Oh so ready? So so ready? All right,
Speaker 2: thank you Annie.
Speaker 4: Thank you, and more.
Speaker 1: We're going to bring three contestants for a Wilita to
Speaker 1: connect with on your behalf fingers crossed. By the end
Speaker 1: of this you have found someone you feel drawn too.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is the first episode where I
Speaker 1: am as excited as.
Speaker 4: The main date.
Speaker 7: Conversion.
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, I'm very very start to meet these contestants.
Speaker 2: Already, get to it. Yeah, more delays, listen.
Speaker 4: Now let's bring in our contestants. We'll be back after
Speaker 4: the break. Welcome back today, Mia.
Speaker 1: Wani The first, okay, let's meet all of you. First up,
Speaker 1: Saint Saint is interested in fire and air signs. To them,
Speaker 1: that signifies people who take up space, which is true, Yes,
Speaker 1: to those big personalities.
Speaker 4: Their red flags are monogamy, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Other red flags are any type of reductionism and people
Speaker 1: who don't like kids or animals. They are interested in
Speaker 1: fluid connections, especially physical connections, and not looking for heavy
Speaker 1: expectations from someone They love a hot mom and people
Speaker 1: who are invested in community listen same.
Speaker 4: They are a sage, sun, venus and Mars with a
Speaker 4: scorpiostelium sprinkled in there. Oh my god, that hum Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2: Saint Hot. Okay, we're going to get back to that
Speaker 2: one absolutely.
Speaker 1: Next up, we have a Chandler handler grew up in
Speaker 1: LA and took some years living in other places and
Speaker 1: is now excited to be back.
Speaker 4: In Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Yes, they have been getting involved in community more, especially
Speaker 1: with other leather dykes.
Speaker 4: And kink community hot.
Speaker 1: Their green flags are communication, opened miners and people knowing
Speaker 1: their boundaries and limits.
Speaker 2: Yes, that is so hot.
Speaker 4: They are especially attracted to people that look like they could.
Speaker 1: Kill them a little bit hell, yeah, a little bit,
Speaker 1: just a little bit, just a little dangerous, yes.
Speaker 2: And then bring you back to life.
Speaker 4: Hello Chandler, Hello, how's it going? So so good? I'm
Speaker 4: gonna send with these bios las.
Speaker 1: But not certainly Lee's show read last time show Wee
Speaker 1: was a contestants, we didn't get to hear their polly wisdom.
Speaker 1: And I'm very excited because this episode is all about that.
Speaker 1: He believes informing relationships because they are life sustaining and
Speaker 1: not because anyone feels obligated to another.
Speaker 4: Yes, they love talking.
Speaker 1: About people's no skip albums and are attractive to folks
Speaker 1: who are into the earth. They want to hear about
Speaker 1: how you are preparing for the apocalypse, and they have
Speaker 1: some skills that will.
Speaker 4: Come in handy for it. Okay, noted, Welcome show Weird.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello contestants. It's so nice to meet you all.
Speaker 2: What a treat. Absolutely is right.
Speaker 4: It is such a treat to have you all here today.
Speaker 1: So usually I wait until later in the episode to
Speaker 1: reveal some surprises, but this is a special episode, so
Speaker 1: I wanted to let you.
Speaker 4: In on a little secret about our main dat.
Speaker 1: But first, before I get into that, I wanted to
Speaker 1: add a little bit more definitions.
Speaker 3: Listen, my dictionary is a little bit out of control
Speaker 3: this morning.
Speaker 2: Okay, what is it?
Speaker 4: Okay, this is an important one.
Speaker 1: So there is a word for someone's partner's partner. Does
Speaker 1: any of you wise contestants want to provide that word
Speaker 1: for what?
Speaker 7: Eat?
Speaker 4: That's saying to go for it?
Speaker 1: Metamore beautiful, exactly a metamore.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 1: Everybody was like, yes, we all know this. Everybody raised
Speaker 1: their hands. I just saw saints first. And it's an
Speaker 1: important word today because actually I could be a metamor
Speaker 1: to one of you after today's episode, because the main
Speaker 1: dat is my partner is my partner.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say their names just yet, almost
Speaker 4: like I was about to say it.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 1: It's almost like if the episode is like date my
Speaker 1: public here first. But normally but not always, when you
Speaker 1: meet someone who's polyamorous, who has an salvage relationship, you
Speaker 1: meet that partner a ka the metamore a little bit
Speaker 1: down the line. But in this case they get to
Speaker 1: meet me right off the bat.
Speaker 3: You all are very brave today, but also you get
Speaker 3: to have fun.
Speaker 4: Yes, absolutely, it's gonna be a fun time.
Speaker 1: So with that said, let's just go ahead and play
Speaker 1: the first game.
Speaker 2: Let's do it beca Now enough with the definitions. Oh yes,
Speaker 2: we're gonna We're gonna pull it off of dizzy rhine. Now, yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Got you, I got you.
Speaker 1: We've been learning a lot of new words today, so
Speaker 1: we're gonna play a little bit of never have I Ever?
Speaker 4: I mean, it's a classic for a reason. So here's
Speaker 4: how we're gonna play. We're gonna list out something like this,
Speaker 4: never have I ever had sex at work?
Speaker 1: And if you have done so, you'll respond by telling
Speaker 1: us the story of what happened.
Speaker 2: And make the stories juicy.
Speaker 4: Yes, we want that much. We want that juice. Well,
Speaker 4: with that, I know that was a really great example.
Speaker 4: But here's the actual first. Never have I ever?
Speaker 1: Never have I ever crossed state lines for a date?
Speaker 7: Show?
Speaker 4: Eeet, did you cross state lines?
Speaker 6: I have?
Speaker 5: But I feel like New York to New Jersey is
Speaker 5: a joke, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: It's basically like a question, Oh my gosh, amazing. Okay,
Speaker 4: I have another one.
Speaker 1: Never have I ever made an enemy out of someone's mom,
Speaker 1: family member, or sibling.
Speaker 4: Well, that's a rough one. Tandler what's your story.
Speaker 8: It's less about like the fight itself and more about
Speaker 8: how she confronted me that I think is funny. But
Speaker 8: I used to facilitate a class in college and one
Speaker 8: of the students had a disagreement with her facilitator of
Speaker 8: her class. Somehow her mom got my phone number, and
Speaker 8: I was like, I was also a college radio DJ,
Speaker 8: so I'm like on air. I think it's like eleven
Speaker 8: at night, and I get a phone call from like
Speaker 8: a random number, so I'm like, who can this be?
Speaker 8: So I pick it up and it's this woman who
Speaker 8: is yelling at me, and I'm like trying to DJ.
Speaker 8: So then I'm just like, okay, I gotta find a
Speaker 8: ten minute song. So I put the ten minute song.
Speaker 8: I'm like trying to like.
Speaker 4: Bring it back down.
Speaker 8: She was really angry, and I was like, what the
Speaker 8: hell is happening here? I don't know your daughter, I
Speaker 8: don't know the conflict.
Speaker 4: Oh that is wild? What about you saying?
Speaker 9: There was Once I was a he ate in a
Speaker 9: fifth grade class and one of my students, who later
Speaker 9: I came to understand, was closeted, but at the time
Speaker 9: tor raging homophobe was parents were super homophobic, and during
Speaker 9: school time I would talk to him about you know
Speaker 9: why you don't do stuff like that, you don't think
Speaker 9: and say things like this, and it was clicking for
Speaker 9: him and he was changing over time. And at some
Speaker 9: point his mom told the school to tell me to
Speaker 9: stop talking to him about queer people.
Speaker 7: And then she avoided me after that.
Speaker 9: She wouldn't say bye to me anymore, and had a
Speaker 9: lot of aggression.
Speaker 3: She didn't even have the nerve to stand up and
Speaker 3: tell you herself, Wow.
Speaker 7: But our kid is gay. Son.
Speaker 2: I feel bad for the kid.
Speaker 3: No, I don't agree with that, and I will eat
Speaker 3: us take note. I will let us do not agree
Speaker 3: with that, and mama get out of the way.
Speaker 2: Next one.
Speaker 3: Never have I ever used the kitchen appliants or object
Speaker 3: doing sex.
Speaker 5: I've used you know, the thing that you have for
Speaker 5: a milk frother, you know, the like handheld ones.
Speaker 2: I use that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was having sex in the kitchen and as
Speaker 5: you do, love as I do. Yeah, And I have
Speaker 5: like a little section for you know, my little macho
Speaker 5: vibe whatever whatever, So you have all the little objects, yes,
Speaker 5: And then the person I was fucking grabbed the little
Speaker 5: floss and you sit on my chest on their chest. Yeah,
Speaker 5: because it's like kind of intense but like not painful.
Speaker 5: So yeah, it was great. It was great.
Speaker 2: Oh my bumps are just standing up straight.
Speaker 4: That's brilliant. I'm taking notes on that one.
Speaker 2: Yes they are, Yes they are.
Speaker 8: I'm clearly looking at my father right now.
Speaker 2: I'm like, no family members to listen to this show,
Speaker 2: all right, Saint tell.
Speaker 1: Us there's a counter account account, yes, Chandler. Any creative
Speaker 1: usage of kitchen or objects, not really, I mean.
Speaker 8: The closest would probably be like nitrial gloves, which I
Speaker 8: I mean I use them for like multi purposes, absolutely
Speaker 8: great for safer sex practices and not LATEX.
Speaker 4: So correct correct correct?
Speaker 2: Oh, I love next one.
Speaker 3: Never have I ever dated a friend's partner, Go ahead
Speaker 3: to it.
Speaker 5: I would love for my friends to date my partner.
Speaker 5: I feel like I already know they're great. I already
Speaker 5: really appressed them. We already have this really great relationship.
Speaker 5: Like I want my friends to be happy. I know
Speaker 5: my partner is bomb, Like look at that, and like
Speaker 5: I have a lot of friends where I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 5: I would totally get with your partner.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I love you so yes.
Speaker 5: This is actually a really safe place for us to
Speaker 5: be intimate.
Speaker 2: So I love that. Yeah, I'm there with you.
Speaker 7: How about you, Saint, I'm more like should we.
Speaker 9: I have many friends, but we're all kind of like
Speaker 9: very playful with each other, very flirty with each other,
Speaker 9: and I like that a lot. But I've never formally
Speaker 9: dated a friends partner.
Speaker 7: M hmmm. The when I date.
Speaker 9: People are like when I'm interested in people, it's so
Speaker 9: very visceral and in the moment and like with me
Speaker 9: and this person that oftentimes it ends up being someone
Speaker 9: you know, that's not I'm not around my other friends.
Speaker 9: It's just someone I'm meeting and I'm out and about.
Speaker 9: So I haven't really thought too much about that.
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm mmmm. What about too, Chandler.
Speaker 8: I mean not exactly. I mean like hooked up with
Speaker 8: people and then I become friends with their partner, so
Speaker 8: it's like more reverse but yeah, not like not that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you all for being silly with us and
Speaker 1: also very candid and honest.
Speaker 3: I think you guys did an amazing job. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: applaud you. But if you think that a Willita is
Speaker 3: gonna take a break. Hell now next.
Speaker 1: Game, all right, So before I will lead that decides
Speaker 1: who will be moving on in the competition. We'd like
Speaker 1: to know a little bit more about your communication style.
Speaker 2: In this game.
Speaker 1: We'll be giving you a text from your new partner
Speaker 1: that you'll need to respond with a completely original acronym. So,
Speaker 1: for example, if I got a text that said, hey, baby,
Speaker 1: I forgot we were going to the leather party tonight,
Speaker 1: I'm still wearing my pjs and I haven't picked up
Speaker 1: our leather harnesses from the specialty cleaner, is going to
Speaker 1: be three hours late. Instead of texting them NBD, which
Speaker 1: is no big deal, I'm gonna make up a new
Speaker 1: acronym that might say nwbbucc no werries babe, backup chaps and.
Speaker 3: Car Oh you know okay, but that's why you wear it, right.
Speaker 1: It's a leather party, you know what I'm saying, My
Speaker 1: good chests, backup, leather chaps in the back of the
Speaker 1: wady I and roll.
Speaker 4: What's your first tis?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna tell you all right, everybody ready respond
Speaker 3: to this text, Hey babe, did you schedule the orgy
Speaker 3: for today? It's amazing from polyamory to orgy. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 3: I think it's what happening here.
Speaker 4: And even necessarily have to be polyamorous to be in
Speaker 4: an orgy.
Speaker 2: But true, no, we've we've learned that from the collegula times.
Speaker 2: It's all coming back to me now.
Speaker 4: That is learning so much in this in this season, Chandler,
Speaker 4: you seem ready.
Speaker 8: So it's O F T P I G C and
Speaker 8: it's oops, forgot to put in Google calendar.
Speaker 4: Oops, forgot to Google calendar.
Speaker 9: Nice.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I love that shows what's yours?
Speaker 5: Mine is y B M V M I O I
Speaker 5: yes oooh my virgo moon is on it?
Speaker 4: Oh, on it, yes, boom into it. What about you?
Speaker 1: Saint?
Speaker 7: Mine is w A H R B G y S.
Speaker 7: We're hot and ready, baby graptat.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna start using these acronyms.
Speaker 2: My goodness, they need to be used. It's time.
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, I have another one.
Speaker 1: Hey, sweetie, I know one of your partners is in
Speaker 1: an acupuncturist. My hearts have been really funky this week.
Speaker 1: Could they do anything about that? Oh, Saint take us away.
Speaker 9: My acronym is YGSBB double question, Mike, you got stinky
Speaker 9: about baby?
Speaker 4: You got stinky about baby? Oh my gosh, incredible, Tamdler.
Speaker 7: I have two.
Speaker 8: One is D y C D Did you consume dairy?
Speaker 4: Incredible?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 8: And this one I'm like, I don't know if this
Speaker 8: is very niche, but y n A g f MT Yes,
Speaker 8: nagles are good for many things.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, winky face, all right, that's a question I
Speaker 3: need to write down.
Speaker 4: Yes, you need to ask that. So many things in
Speaker 4: this episode already that those needles.
Speaker 7: Show we do.
Speaker 4: What's what's your acronym?
Speaker 5: So mine is also milk related? It's n B y
Speaker 5: N L S d M No, beloved, you need to
Speaker 5: stop drinking milk.
Speaker 4: No, no, but love it? Oh my god, amazing.
Speaker 3: Okay, this one is pretty pretty spicy. Ready you get
Speaker 3: this text? Did you go through my phone and d
Speaker 3: M my X?
Speaker 2: What do you taxt back?
Speaker 4: That's a tough one.
Speaker 2: Did you go through my phone and d M my EX?
Speaker 2: What do you taxt back? Saint y M H A
Speaker 2: T P B.
Speaker 7: You must have another toxic partner?
Speaker 4: Baby that that that ain't me my goodness, using your
Speaker 4: partner's phone to like X. That's not.
Speaker 2: What's yours?
Speaker 7: Mine?
Speaker 5: Is nt y HB H never that you must have
Speaker 5: been hacked?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is the best danswer. Not I anyone.
Speaker 4: Chandler doing a little bit more, you got it, s
Speaker 4: N T B T s A d H T N.
Speaker 8: Sorry, needed to borrow their saw and didn't have their number. O.
Speaker 4: Thank you all so very much for giving us the
Speaker 4: chance to get to know you a bit more through these.
Speaker 2: Games and banter fun moments.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately over here has a very tough decision to make,
Speaker 1: and the only two of you will be able to
Speaker 1: move forward for a chance to date our main dater.
Speaker 2: Well, listen, each of you is an amazing human being.
Speaker 2: There's just no doubt about it.
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, it is about
Speaker 3: mostly our main dater because we need to have a
Speaker 3: person that is compatible with them and dad being said,
Speaker 3: the person who will not remain in the show is Chandler.
Speaker 1: Chandler, thank you so so much for your wit, your charm.
Speaker 1: You're so freaking funny. Thank you for playing with us.
Speaker 2: You're beautiful. Thank you so much to meet you.
Speaker 8: I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 7: Thank you for this.
Speaker 2: We'll be back after the break.
Speaker 4: Welcome back Todaymilani the.
Speaker 1: First well, congratulations to our two remaining contestants.
Speaker 4: Now we're diving into the more intimate part of the.
Speaker 1: Competition where each of you gets to have a too,
Speaker 1: a little one on one just you and her, and
Speaker 1: she will ask a little bit more intimate questions to
Speaker 1: dig deeper and find alignment within yourself and the main vader.
Speaker 4: All right, well, show wheat.
Speaker 1: I'm going to hand you over for a little piping
Speaker 1: hat cup of coffee with Alita walitaa away.
Speaker 2: You look so good. I love your hair. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 3: Refresh a Wilita's mine on what your love life currently
Speaker 3: is all about.
Speaker 5: I feel like my love life is intimately connected with
Speaker 5: like all the parts of my life. So I think
Speaker 5: of like my love being like my community and like
Speaker 5: all of the different facets of that. So I have
Speaker 5: a partner Anna, who I love, and then I just
Speaker 5: have like a lot of other folks who are like
Speaker 5: lovers in different cities, so folks who I'm like sexually
Speaker 5: intimate with when I'm there. And then I have friends
Speaker 5: who are like my family and my kin and some
Speaker 5: of them I also intimate with the some time. So
Speaker 5: it's the boundary between lover and friend is a question,
Speaker 5: you know, it's not a firm line.
Speaker 3: Wow, but this is extremely interesting to me because you
Speaker 3: have such a high capacity for love.
Speaker 2: For sure, how intense to like you and all of this,
Speaker 2: This is exactly what you want.
Speaker 5: I'm very intentional. That's exactly what I want. I've been
Speaker 5: thinking about it in some ways my whole life. You know,
Speaker 5: it really reminds me of my childhood self, where I
Speaker 5: was just like excited to connect with people, and then
Speaker 5: in other ways, like it's come through a lot of
Speaker 5: trial and error with different types of relationships and monogamy.
Speaker 5: And I've been dating consistently since I was thirteen, like
Speaker 5: straight up until I was twenty five, no years off,
Speaker 5: like multiple different partners, So I feel like I have
Speaker 5: a really intense experience with that kind of lifestyle. So
Speaker 5: for me, this is like a very like Okay, actually
Speaker 5: I'm like scratching everything I've ever learned, everything I've ever
Speaker 5: been told and really thinking like what are my fundamental
Speaker 5: desires and needs? Like what is my capacity? Like what
Speaker 5: kind of future and world am I trying to build?
Speaker 5: And like how do I want to show up in it?
Speaker 5: And how do I want to build relationship in it?
Speaker 5: So it's like everything feels really intentional, but that just
Speaker 5: means I feel like I've been building a really strong
Speaker 5: foundation in these past two years specifically, so now I'm
Speaker 5: kind of like getting to really enjoy that and like
Speaker 5: it's not as hard as it was in the beginning,
Speaker 5: because it's really hard to do stuff that's not normative
Speaker 5: because it's like there's no model for it. You just
Speaker 5: have to figure it out as you go. So I'm
Speaker 5: feeling really stable in that right now.
Speaker 2: Tell me a little bit about your experience with metamore.
Speaker 5: I'll say this is my first healthy polly relationship with
Speaker 5: me and Anna, and she's on the ACE spectrum doesn't
Speaker 5: really have other partners, so we haven't had that in
Speaker 5: our relationship. For me, being a metamoor has been like
Speaker 5: I've always known my friend's partner before anything happens, and
Speaker 5: like the way I feel about my friends is like
Speaker 5: we're family. So it's like if someone's involved in your life,
Speaker 5: like I am now involved in their life. The metamor
Speaker 5: feeling has kind of been cute. It's like when I
Speaker 5: do end up in these intimate relationships with my friends,
Speaker 5: they tell me like, oh, I've been talking to my
Speaker 5: partner about you, and like they're so excited and like
Speaker 5: they know I've really been wanting to be with you
Speaker 5: in this way or you know, like develop our relationship
Speaker 5: in this way, and then when I meet the partner,
Speaker 5: it's just like this really fun, key key moment of like, ah.
Speaker 7: Like I know what you did, Like I know it
Speaker 7: was fun.
Speaker 3: But there must be moments when those neutral or negative
Speaker 3: feelings come to the surface.
Speaker 2: What do you do?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 2: You know, jellou see and insecurity is where do they go?
Speaker 2: What happens?
Speaker 5: Yeah, for me, I'll say whenever I feel jealousy and security,
Speaker 5: it's all about fear, right, It's about like fear that
Speaker 5: there isn't enough of that person to like go around,
Speaker 5: which I think is a very like monogamous idea that
Speaker 5: there is a limited capacity, like fear that they'll find
Speaker 5: somebody else, like even being polly with my partner, Like
Speaker 5: I think both of us feel nervous when the other
Speaker 5: person begins to develop an intimate relationship with someone or
Speaker 5: even talks about it, because it's like, of course, oh,
Speaker 5: like what if you fall in love with them and
Speaker 5: we're no longer together, Or thinking about my long standing
Speaker 5: relationships with folks who I have had conflict within the past,
Speaker 5: because we've known each other for seven years it's like, oh,
Speaker 5: you're developing this new intimate relationship and you don't have
Speaker 5: trauma with this person, are you going to love them
Speaker 5: more than you love me? When I have those moments,
Speaker 5: I like really have to sit and be like, okay,
Speaker 5: like is this emotion derived from love or fear? And
Speaker 5: it's always fear, and it's like, okay, well what am
Speaker 5: I actually afraid of? Like what's the real thing? Because
Speaker 5: it's like, I really believe if you ever feel jealous,
Speaker 5: if you ever feel anything, you have to talk about it,
Speaker 5: like even if it's tiny and it might like ruin
Speaker 5: the vibe, like you have to bring it to the
Speaker 5: front because then you can really say like, oh, I
Speaker 5: feel jealous, But actually it's not that I feel jealous.
Speaker 5: It's that I'm worried about this thing that hasn't even
Speaker 5: happened yet and any having to process it. And these
Speaker 5: are my boundaries around this behavior.
Speaker 2: And isn't that terrible? You just said it things that
Speaker 2: haven't even happened yet. What are you talking about? We
Speaker 2: don't want to talk about that.
Speaker 3: But you are an amazingly beautiful human beings. So thank
Speaker 3: you so much for your candid answers.
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you show weeds. Oh my goodness, all right,
Speaker 4: let's bring on safe welcome back, Saint.
Speaker 2: Hello, you're right.
Speaker 1: Now and I will eitas Salita and I have a
Speaker 1: nice piping hot cup of coffee ready for you to
Speaker 1: have a nice intimate one on one with Saint studying.
Speaker 2: Now, how are you sat doing good today? Is this
Speaker 2: your birth name?
Speaker 9: I had a lot of nicknames, so this is my
Speaker 9: favorite one. So I just kind of adopted it when
Speaker 9: I started writing why I don't feel I do now,
Speaker 9: but I didn't feel so angelic most my life and
Speaker 9: my friends. A lot of my friends see me that way.
Speaker 9: I tend to be a sweetheart with my people. I
Speaker 9: try to be very giving and attentive to all the
Speaker 9: people in my life. I make sure I spent time
Speaker 9: with them, despite how hectic my life tends to be.
Speaker 9: And I'm extremely spiritual, and I have a large fondness
Speaker 9: of religious iconography, a lot of religious tattoos, I have
Speaker 9: an alter, I pray a lot and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: You know, you remind me so much of how my
Speaker 3: grandson will turn out to be. He shares with you
Speaker 3: that amazing quality of kindness and calmness. And I'm going
Speaker 3: to cry any second now, So let's move on with
Speaker 3: the questions.
Speaker 7: That's beautiful, You're.
Speaker 3: Very welcome, But let's talk about your love life and
Speaker 3: where is that at right now?
Speaker 9: At the current moment, I have one partner, a beautiful girlfriend, Angin,
Speaker 9: who's the most attentive and inspiring and safe partner I've
Speaker 9: ever had. So I haven't been actively seeking, actively dating
Speaker 9: for partners when they come into my life. And if
Speaker 9: that connection is there, I'm very open to it and
Speaker 9: I try to remain open to it very nice.
Speaker 2: And what is it that you want in this new person?
Speaker 2: What do you want to see in them?
Speaker 9: I have to offer what I am and I do
Speaker 9: not want to date someone who is looking for me
Speaker 9: to be something other than what I am at this
Speaker 9: very moment. So I want someone who's living in their
Speaker 9: very moment, who's looking for someone who also living their
Speaker 9: very moment. And from there, there's myriad ways that these
Speaker 9: people can be that I might connect with. You know,
Speaker 9: kinds of people that I'm interested can be completely different
Speaker 9: from each other. So I'm just very open to seeing
Speaker 9: what they're like as long as we have those baselines together.
Speaker 2: What turns you off?
Speaker 9: The kinds of things that get me riled up are
Speaker 9: like when people are doing some kind of social or
Speaker 9: hierarchical or structural violence or participating in it with someone
Speaker 9: else or against someone else, and I go from zero
Speaker 9: to one hundred with that stuff. Not immediately, I probably
Speaker 9: go from zero. Internally, I'll go from like zero like fifty. Externally,
Speaker 9: I'll probably be like a ten to twenty. But very
Speaker 9: often the kind of people that I'm having those conflicts with,
Speaker 9: they tend to be entrenched in that kind of thinking,
Speaker 9: and that part drives me very quickly to very high.
Speaker 3: Since you are so calm and chilling, you can go
Speaker 3: from zero to sixty depending on the situation on what's
Speaker 3: going on.
Speaker 2: How do you control those emotions?
Speaker 7: I try to be a good listener mostly.
Speaker 9: The most recent time I've had a conflict with a
Speaker 9: loved one was with my best friend and their girlfriend.
Speaker 9: I love her to that she is my best friend,
Speaker 9: but she has some very propagandic views sometimes, and me
Speaker 9: and one of our other friends were kind of getting
Speaker 9: into it with them, and we were drunk. We were
Speaker 9: all pretty drunk, so emotions were kind of crazy and
Speaker 9: I was just that was really worked up. But I
Speaker 9: spoke over their partner, and their partner told me that,
Speaker 9: and when I heard that, I was like, we don't
Speaker 9: speak over people. So that's like a big signal for
Speaker 9: me to take a step back and like kind of
Speaker 9: calm down and relax and then allow the conversation to
Speaker 9: either end or if I can't be calm, to just
Speaker 9: end the conversation and pick it up later or don't,
Speaker 9: depends on the nature of it.
Speaker 3: Plus, we know that we need to keep some conversations
Speaker 3: away from the tequila.
Speaker 7: Yes, absolutely, thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: To our two remaining contestants, you both think you're just
Speaker 1: so wonderful, so charming, so fun, so earnest.
Speaker 2: But there's something that we've been a little sneaky about.
Speaker 4: We did come clean from the get go that I
Speaker 4: am dating the main dater so's family show stays in
Speaker 4: the vamily. But there's one more thing that we have
Speaker 4: kept from y'all.
Speaker 2: Our main dater.
Speaker 1: Actually has been here listening since the absolute beginning. A Willita,
Speaker 1: you know, might have an idea of who she likes
Speaker 1: for our main dater, but we'll see if we all
Speaker 1: have a unanimous decision. So to both of you, ms,
Speaker 1: we're gonna ask you for a quick exit and will
Speaker 1: bring back our main contestant.
Speaker 7: Hi.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, will eat that. This is so hard,
Speaker 2: extremely hard. I love I really really like just amazing.
Speaker 3: But you know they're not far from each other and
Speaker 3: where they're at or how they think or how they
Speaker 3: handle situations. I think they're just amazing human beings are
Speaker 3: just really really sweet.
Speaker 2: We need to ask guys, yes, yes, Hi, Hello. To
Speaker 2: be honest, I would read both that's a possibility.
Speaker 6: So both have said things that really resonate with me
Speaker 6: in different ways. I'm with you, they're like, they're like
Speaker 6: also in how they answer. I'm very community oriented and
Speaker 6: that's the thing that.
Speaker 4: Draws me to both.
Speaker 2: Also, let me think about it for a minute or two.
Speaker 1: All right, beautiful, let's bring in the contestants. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: the jury has a verdict AA.
Speaker 3: All information given to Awlita, all desires of each one's heart,
Speaker 3: has to be taken into consideration. There's nothing that I
Speaker 3: want more in this world is to see everyone loving
Speaker 3: each other. We always say, also, we have to find
Speaker 3: that connection with our main data. But then again, you
Speaker 3: start thinking, well, what happens when those beautiful people that
Speaker 3: you have in front of you are as special as
Speaker 3: our main dat.
Speaker 2: How do you separate? How do you choose? There is
Speaker 2: no choosing, So for that reason and that reason alone,
Speaker 2: it is both of you who will as fuck.
Speaker 4: So congratulations to the both of you.
Speaker 1: Without any further ado an It meet chow Eaed and
Speaker 1: Saint meet Anni Hi Show.
Speaker 6: Eat Hi, saying I love very meal and seeing all
Speaker 6: of this, I had such a good time.
Speaker 2: It was hot.
Speaker 4: Yes an first impressions on show Eat and then.
Speaker 6: Saint, both of you have things in common when it
Speaker 6: comes to polyamory. I think I'm very community oriented and
Speaker 6: I see both of you like seeing it that way
Speaker 6: and in a very intentional way.
Speaker 4: So that was why I was like, I'm keeping them
Speaker 4: both show Weed.
Speaker 6: I really like resonated, especially in the GOFO with AA.
Speaker 6: How you like explain how you explore your relationships even
Speaker 6: with friends, like I have very deep intentional relationships with
Speaker 6: my friends, and I really connected with that.
Speaker 4: I was like, yes, like I don't know where this
Speaker 4: is going to, but I want to hang out with.
Speaker 6: That person for sure, and saying like your energy and
Speaker 6: the way you talked about spirituality and how you were
Speaker 6: very candid and honest of how you handled conflict and
Speaker 6: also being accountable and how you're like working through that really.
Speaker 4: Hit me in a good way. So yeah, keeping you both, Yeah,
Speaker 4: and if you all let me and with that show
Speaker 4: we eat. First impressions on an Oh my god, I
Speaker 4: feel like you're cute.
Speaker 5: That's the first first impression. I love this like bird
Speaker 5: in the sky vibe like you've been watching.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love what.
Speaker 5: You've named specifically for both me and st be community oriented.
Speaker 5: I don't know what y'all talked about, but I'm very spiritual,
Speaker 5: so I love to hear that named also when thinking
Speaker 5: about into mechinicians and community.
Speaker 7: So yeah, I'm into that.
Speaker 4: Saying what about you? First impressions on Ane.
Speaker 9: Beautiful, I'm gonna do what should we said about loving
Speaker 9: to hear what you pulled out of the conversation that
Speaker 9: I didn't hear and also from mine.
Speaker 7: So that's nice. Impsion A praise kink, so like hearing
Speaker 7: the compliments.
Speaker 4: Same, I also have a praise kink.
Speaker 7: Oh this is going wait what was that.
Speaker 4: Praise?
Speaker 6: We're gonna learn a lot to explain to you later.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna praise you to see if you also can
Speaker 6: feel it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, met us out there. I'll talk to you
Speaker 2: on the next show.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, now we're gonna send our contestants away
Speaker 1: for a little virtual dates.
Speaker 2: Just have fun, cuties, please have fun.
Speaker 7: Hell, hell you.
Speaker 4: I'm so glad to meet y'all.
Speaker 7: Glad to meet you too.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 6: I'm excited because I didn't know I was going to
Speaker 6: be so excited with you. Al bows, but like I
Speaker 6: was like, bonus points. Yes, how was it for y'all?
Speaker 7: I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I didn't exactly understand what I was getting into
Speaker 9: when I signed up. I was like, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 9: can't do Grandma, why not some of the experience.
Speaker 6: Your mom can please the fact that you thought you
Speaker 6: were gonna data really, it's it's so funny.
Speaker 9: I had a good time with other questions were really cute.
Speaker 9: I loved hearing all the other answers. I had a
Speaker 9: great time. How about you show weeks?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, this is really fun. I think it's fun
Speaker 5: on a meta level because I'm like, what is going on?
Speaker 5: Like what a strange like la thing to be so
Speaker 5: very cute in that way, very cute to like, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I love to hear about what people think about love
Speaker 5: about relationship. I also thought we would be dating Albabita, and.
Speaker 2: I was kind of excited.
Speaker 5: I'm excited for this too. I'm excited for both.
Speaker 8: So I'm.
Speaker 5: That and I just I keep thinking, like what a
Speaker 5: queer experience that, Like you are a partner like that? Yeah,
Speaker 5: I think it's Yeah, I love and she is connected,
Speaker 5: like not more than one or two degrees separated.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would love to meet y'all like in person
Speaker 6: if you're up to it individually, and also we could
Speaker 6: hang out like I think, Like, I was so excited
Speaker 6: because at the first I was like a little worried
Speaker 6: because I was like, you know, how do we make
Speaker 6: this cool but not weird? Like everybody everybody's gonna think
Speaker 6: it was weird. It's weird, but like in the niche
Speaker 6: of polyams. I'm like, I wanted to be fun, but
Speaker 6: I don't want it to be weird, which it wasn't
Speaker 6: weird at all. And I'm so excited that it was
Speaker 6: fine and fun and like comfortable for y'all.
Speaker 5: So, yeah, are you from La? Yeah?
Speaker 9: Originally I lived here about more than half my life now.
Speaker 9: I went to high school in the desert, though which
Speaker 9: is discussing.
Speaker 6: Okay, so it was so nice to meet you. I'm
Speaker 6: so excited, total pleasure. Yeah, and I hope we can
Speaker 6: connect more.
Speaker 4: Well wow wow wow. I hope those sweeties hit it off.
Speaker 1: Find us back here next week as Leanna and I
Speaker 1: make some more matches.
Speaker 4: Good work today, Ali.
Speaker 2: Oh, we did good. I like what I'm looking at.
Speaker 1: Date Miaori The First is a production from w V
Speaker 1: Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by me Vico Ortiz,
Speaker 1: joined by the fabulous Lena Montenegro Bait may AURALI the
Speaker 1: First is produced by Leo Clem, Nico Raguel, and Sophie
Speaker 1: Spencer Zavos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valder, Alma, Leo Clem,
Speaker 1: and Nico Raguel w V Sound. This episode was edited
Speaker 1: by Sean Tracy and Sophie Spencer Zavos and features original music.
Speaker 4: By Alva Morello and Gabe Lopez.
Speaker 1: Special thanks to our team of key at WV Entertainment.
Speaker 1: Special things Also to our hopeful romantics this week, I'm
Speaker 1: Saint Chandler and Show Wheat. Additional thanks to Assault and
Speaker 1: Line Media. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1: See you next week, and in the meantime, don't do
Speaker 1: anything Awalita wouldn't do.
Speaker 2: Just do it better. Okay, they see those