Speaker 1: Start Data. Start up. Brooklyn Boys, Start up, Brooklyn Boys,
Speaker 1: Start Data. They're making noise Data Dot Episode one six.
Speaker 1: This is the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Are you recording? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm recording you Dick Wad Brody's being a smartass because
Speaker 1: we had a false start. I wasn't recording at first,
Speaker 1: and we got into our whole wind up and now
Speaker 1: I'm recording. Okay, so yeah, this is being heard by all.
Speaker 1: But you ruined it because you said are you recording?
Speaker 1: You didn't have to acknowledge it. No one knew, yeah,
Speaker 1: except we had some really good banter. And then you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we gotta start over. I remember what I said. You
Speaker 1: cost our listeners podcast gold. Please let's not talk about
Speaker 1: what costs the listeners what and who's lying through their
Speaker 1: teeth that last week, how you kept me, how you
Speaker 1: kept me at bay for like ten hours because you
Speaker 1: had personal things to do around the house, and then
Speaker 1: you went online and lie to everybody. All the slices
Speaker 1: say that is my fault. No I didn't. It was
Speaker 1: partially your fault. Yes it was, and I'll explain. So
Speaker 1: last week I told you I wanted a podcast on Friday,
Speaker 1: and you said no, let's do Saturday, I said, I
Speaker 1: have direct TV coming between twelve and four. I said,
Speaker 1: but I'll if we start the podcast before they get there, then,
Speaker 1: because you know they're gonna twelve to four means they're
Speaker 1: gonna show up at two. I said, let's start recording
Speaker 1: and then when they show up, we'll take a pause. Well,
Speaker 1: the guys showed up. By the time you and I
Speaker 1: were both ready, the guy was there, no, no, By
Speaker 1: the time he was gone and you were ready to
Speaker 1: the podcast, it was seven o'clock. Yeah, but we did. Okay,
Speaker 1: it was late, okay. And then by the time I
Speaker 1: was done, I had already had a full day, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I fell asleep before it could upload. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the podcast was done, you know, and then whatever,
Speaker 1: it doesn't listen. Let's not pick her. Let's not get
Speaker 1: off on the wrong foot. I'm in a good mood.
Speaker 1: I wasn't a good mood. Okay, all right, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I just I was in a good mood too. But
Speaker 1: you screwed me again. How did I screw you? Okay?
Speaker 1: So I was ready like twenty minutes ago, I said,
Speaker 1: scared you were talking about this episode? Now, yeah, this
Speaker 1: episode we can talk about last week. So you didn't
Speaker 1: post the podcast. We did the podcast, we did it late.
Speaker 1: I just I just mentioned what fell asleep. Hey, we're
Speaker 1: moving on to this week. Alright, So this week's episode.
Speaker 1: This week, you screwed me because I was ready to
Speaker 1: go like twenty minutes ago, and you said, oh, what's
Speaker 1: the what's twenty minutes between friends? Okay, well I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what it is. Just like twenty minutes could be
Speaker 1: a lifetime. So I said, okay, fine, you said I
Speaker 1: gotta do something right now. Uh it's can we talk
Speaker 1: about were gonna talk about later? What you were doing
Speaker 1: about it? Right now? Ahead? Okay, you said, I gotta
Speaker 1: do something really nice with my girlfriend. I gotta order something,
Speaker 1: give me twenty I hadn't order flowers for my girlfriend
Speaker 1: because because I was looking. Okay, okay, if if you
Speaker 1: must know that, And by the way, it's five o'clock
Speaker 1: in the evening, Okay, after work today, after the show,
Speaker 1: I had to go and go to a rest restaurant
Speaker 1: and gotta go to a shopping No no, no, no
Speaker 1: no no. I had to go and get groceries and
Speaker 1: load up my refrigerator and freezer. I do the one
Speaker 1: shot deal. You had to go a long time. Did
Speaker 1: you say refrigerator, fridge? Okay, my refrigerator, my fridge, whatever,
Speaker 1: my fridge and freezer. No, no, you didn't say refrigerator
Speaker 1: or a fridge. You said refrigerator. I mean, if I did,
Speaker 1: it was an accident. I know better. Come on anyway,
Speaker 1: So that took a lot of time. I get home
Speaker 1: sitting around you hit me up, boom, let's do a podcast,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, ship, I still have to order
Speaker 1: these flowers. So it took me twenty minutes. What the
Speaker 1: hell could have transpired in twenty minutes that I ordered
Speaker 1: flowers for my girlfriend for her birthday? What part did
Speaker 1: I Let's back up a second. You get off work
Speaker 1: at eleven o'clock East Coast time, right, and you get home.
Speaker 1: It's about twenty minutes to get to your house on
Speaker 1: the office. I'll give you ten minutes to well, no,
Speaker 1: five minutes to walk to the coon. So new nude
Speaker 1: is when I went out to to the grocery store
Speaker 1: and it took you five hours? Did I miss something
Speaker 1: in that story? You missed the fact that my sister
Speaker 1: is like, hey, I need pampers for Nico a size
Speaker 1: five pampers swaddlers size five? Can you get them from me?
Speaker 1: And and my mother was like, Hey, you know, could
Speaker 1: you get something for me too? We need paper towels,
Speaker 1: we need toilet paper, we need all that stuff. You're
Speaker 1: not seeing your mother in three months? While you shopping
Speaker 1: far because I'm gonna see her tomorrow, will drive by.
Speaker 1: Apparently stores in Brooklyn have been ransacked beyond recognition. But
Speaker 1: that was like that was the case before the pandemic.
Speaker 1: That's just Brooklyn, that's Brooklyn. So I ended up I
Speaker 1: ended up going to do my shopping in my travels,
Speaker 1: and I realized where I went to go shopping they
Speaker 1: had none of the above. So I went to the
Speaker 1: mainstays in Jersey City, Target, Staples. Believe it or not,
Speaker 1: you can get paper towels at Staples. There's a little
Speaker 1: hint for you, and some cleaners and supplies and things
Speaker 1: that a hint. Well, I mean a lot of people
Speaker 1: don't think of Staples to go for toilet paper. How
Speaker 1: are you? I got you? It's a tip. I got you. Sorry,
Speaker 1: that's a little pro tip if you're cleaning supplies, the
Speaker 1: wet wipes and the lysoul chlorox wipes whatever. Those stores
Speaker 1: like Office Depot and Staples have those things in bulk,
Speaker 1: and and most of the time they're sold out at
Speaker 1: the grocery stores. Now I get another incredible tip from
Speaker 1: the Brooklyn Boys podcast, and it's and that's a good tip.
Speaker 1: So so the point of this is this, after I
Speaker 1: did my grocery shopping, I ran home to put everything
Speaker 1: in the refrigerator. Refrigerator and freezer if you must, and
Speaker 1: then I ran back out because I can't disappoint my
Speaker 1: family and this is the only opportunity I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to go get them their ship. So we can we
Speaker 1: just make sure the audience knows you weren't actually doing
Speaker 1: any running. Yeah, okay, perfect. So I ended up I
Speaker 1: ended up going to I went to I went to
Speaker 1: uh Staples, I went to Target, went the Staples. You
Speaker 1: went the Staples, and you've got some staples that you needed. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got you some some items, some staple items. I
Speaker 1: went to I got I got the cleaning. I check
Speaker 1: it off the list. I bought them paper napkins in bulk.
Speaker 1: I bought them paper plates in bulk. That's what they wanted.
Speaker 1: I'm pulling off stuff off the list left and right,
Speaker 1: paper towels, I got Charman, I got it all. I
Speaker 1: got everything except the damn Pampers. I don't know what
Speaker 1: the fuck is going on, but my sister texts me back,
Speaker 1: Oh no, I mean Pampers swaddlers in a size five. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why can't you have the Pampers air dry
Speaker 1: size five? I mean Target has them in bulk. She
Speaker 1: goes the air dry is not as good. She's I
Speaker 1: need the swaddlers. So I'm sitting there, Brody, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: why what's this? They have cases of sizes one to three, four, six,
Speaker 1: and seven, I said, but there's no five. So I leave.
Speaker 1: I leave Target, and I'm like, I gotta get it.
Speaker 1: You know, you buy it that. You buy her the
Speaker 1: six and you tell her to duct tape it. I
Speaker 1: can't do that, you know, want ship balls fallen out
Speaker 1: of the side of the kids diaper. Hey listen, it's
Speaker 1: the pandemic. We all gotta make sacrifices. So I then
Speaker 1: I go. Then I go to Morton Williams and shop
Speaker 1: right looking for this dude, same thing. They have every
Speaker 1: size one to six, no fives. I like, what is
Speaker 1: happening here? Obviously they didn't have that at staples or
Speaker 1: office depots, so I just skipped that for their staples
Speaker 1: would be a good idea, just staple the diaper on
Speaker 1: the brody. I finally found them at at the Walgreens,
Speaker 1: but they were the small packages you would have like
Speaker 1: had a coronary because I had to buy, you know,
Speaker 1: the smaller packages, and so you get less diapers per
Speaker 1: you know dollar. You know, it's like right, because I
Speaker 1: couldn't buy it and find the economy pack. But I
Speaker 1: found the size five swaddlers that she wanted, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I started buying them up off the shelf. What the hell?
Speaker 1: Who what's the size five? Why is it? And why
Speaker 1: is there a run on size five diapers? And in
Speaker 1: it's got to be Pampers brand too, because I'm like
Speaker 1: arguing with my sister in the middle of the target.
Speaker 1: They got Huggies and Loves in the size five. She goes,
Speaker 1: you don't understand they're not as good. No Huggies, no Loves.
Speaker 1: I need Pampers and and and and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: what about Pampers Air Dry And She's screaming at me,
Speaker 1: right thing, Yeah, they're not as good. What Okay, Brodie,
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about pampers. You're talking about the
Speaker 1: guy who's never I've never had a shot for Pampers
Speaker 1: in my life. No, I know, what's the different audience?
Speaker 1: Our audience knows that you clearly don't know anything about
Speaker 1: pets or kids. Everybody. So what what what is so
Speaker 1: great about the swaddlers, the swadlers, toddlers, toddler, Yes, they
Speaker 1: fit differently. Certain kids are shaped differently. So when you
Speaker 1: find when you find the diaper that fits you, that
Speaker 1: fits the kid perfectly, that it's comfortable, easy to remo, move,
Speaker 1: easy to get on, that you like, you go with
Speaker 1: that one, all right, And you're trying, and you're trying
Speaker 1: to interest me in the diapers where the ship flies
Speaker 1: out of the side and get her a six whatever. Man,
Speaker 1: we gotta make sacrifices. But listen, right, but listen, here's
Speaker 1: my my question. So anyway, I think that almost me hours. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's why it was five o'clock, all right, So I
Speaker 1: think the air dry thing is has come out since
Speaker 1: my kids were in diapers. I don't nothing with the
Speaker 1: air dry now. I'm sure that it means don't tweet
Speaker 1: me I'm sure it means something like it'll dry from
Speaker 1: the kid wearing it, he won't sit in his own pea,
Speaker 1: or she won't sit there on pea. But when you
Speaker 1: first said it, I thought, do you have to hang
Speaker 1: the diapers up like on a clothes line, let them
Speaker 1: air dry so the kid can wear him again? Like
Speaker 1: that's the name a Yeah, google that later again, don't
Speaker 1: tweet me. I will look it up later. That's that's
Speaker 1: the image that got in my head first, was that
Speaker 1: you have to you have to air dry them and
Speaker 1: hang them up like to reuse them, like when you
Speaker 1: get cheap wash them out. Maybe No, that's not it.
Speaker 1: That's absolutely dry channels. You know they're called baby dry
Speaker 1: pampers baby dry with air dry channels. Oh, that's totally different. Now,
Speaker 1: air dry channels. That makes sense to me. That's what
Speaker 1: that's like Maxi pads with wings. But you know it,
Speaker 1: and I know the wings of the wrap around the panties.
Speaker 1: I get. I don't. I'm just joking. I'm just joking.
Speaker 1: So okay, So now you're telling me it's your nephew's fault,
Speaker 1: your sister's fault, and your fault for what happened. To me, well,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. I can't possibly disappoint them. I
Speaker 1: gotta get her pampers. Okay, but you're gonna be in
Speaker 1: Brooklyn tomorrow and I'm gonna yeah. All right. Well, here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Had we done the podcast when I was ready,
Speaker 1: I would be free and clear, enjoying my weekend. But
Speaker 1: because you said, oh, give me twenty minutes so you
Speaker 1: could be romantic with your girl friend, I went upstairs
Speaker 1: and got into an argument with one of my family
Speaker 1: members that I wouldn't have gotten into had I not
Speaker 1: been upstairs. So I'm blaming you. You're blaming me for
Speaker 1: a fight you had in your house. That's correct. That's
Speaker 1: just as asinine as you blaming me or my or
Speaker 1: my nephew because I he had it. He ships his
Speaker 1: diapers and I had to buy papers. You know what,
Speaker 1: if he just wore the Android channels, my life would
Speaker 1: be better. That's not that's correct. How I responsible? First
Speaker 1: of all, what what could you have possibly thought about
Speaker 1: in the twenty minutes span. It doesn't matter what I
Speaker 1: was fighting about. The point is I was in Brooklyn
Speaker 1: boys mode, where I'm always right, and that cost me
Speaker 1: dearly cost me oh big setback. Yeah, and it's your
Speaker 1: Now you're in the doghouse. Yes, And I'm gonna blame
Speaker 1: you when I go back upstairs after this podcast and
Speaker 1: say listen, it's Scary's fault. Here's why, and then uh
Speaker 1: and then hope for forgiveness for the rest of you.
Speaker 1: Had had we been doing the podcast, you would never
Speaker 1: have gotten into that fight. That's right, that's right. Had
Speaker 1: what are you gone to the police, this would never happened.
Speaker 1: That's correct. So ultimately I have to blame you because
Speaker 1: it's chain of events. Just like I wouldn't have gotten
Speaker 1: that that ticket for the stop sign had Nate not
Speaker 1: distracted me in the parking garage, I would not have
Speaker 1: gotten that that pulled over by the police for texting
Speaker 1: while driving, which I wasn't if you didn't incestanly keep
Speaker 1: texting me. See, everything is somebody else's fault. Now you understand? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh sure you sure you were a lawyer. I we've
Speaker 1: covered this. I was. I was hoping to be. By
Speaker 1: the way, speaking of deflection, it's not really deflection. But um,
Speaker 1: you said I don't sound any differently. Now now you
Speaker 1: clearly sound differently. Okay, so I know you spent ten
Speaker 1: thousand dollars on your home radio system that you have there.
Speaker 1: Every time we talk about it, it keeps going up.
Speaker 1: Why it was twelve thousand last week, it's twelve this week.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about anyway. So I
Speaker 1: bought the fort A Snowball microphone and now it took
Speaker 1: it took oh, it took four weeks because of a
Speaker 1: pan pandemic amnia or pandemonia um to get this attachable arms. No,
Speaker 1: that's detachable king missile. Uh No, this clips onto the
Speaker 1: table and it gives me a microphone arm that brings
Speaker 1: the microphone closer to my face. And it came with
Speaker 1: the free microphone cover, sponge cover and a spit screen
Speaker 1: to put in front of it. Uh. So I feel
Speaker 1: like it's more professional now. Plus it's closer to my
Speaker 1: face so I don't have to keep leaning over down
Speaker 1: to the microphone on the table had little legs, and
Speaker 1: I feel I feel sound better. Well you know what
Speaker 1: this week or actually, uh, since I think week three
Speaker 1: or four of the pandemic, I have been buying things
Speaker 1: to make my pandemic life better. And they show up
Speaker 1: whenever they show up. Because you know to day I
Speaker 1: Amazon Prime isn't two day Amazon Prime anymore. And some
Speaker 1: of the things I've ordered it from China and it
Speaker 1: takes forever. So I'm every day I get like surprise
Speaker 1: box on the front step, which I wiped down, and I,
Speaker 1: you know, I leave it on the porch for a
Speaker 1: while or whatever. I'm all the safety precautions. So yesterday
Speaker 1: I got the electric hair clippers that I ordered three
Speaker 1: weeks ago, knowing, knowing I would eventually desperately need a haircut.
Speaker 1: And last night, for the first time ever in my life,
Speaker 1: I gave myself a hair cut with these hair trimmers,
Speaker 1: because in when I go for a haircut, they just
Speaker 1: they buzzed the sides, right, you know, they don't buzz them.
Speaker 1: I don't have a crew cut, but they shave them
Speaker 1: down to it. I think it's a four setting, which
Speaker 1: amounts to let's say, oh, well you go. I know,
Speaker 1: I do a four and I think that's like, uh
Speaker 1: twelve millimeters approximately, And so I got the set up
Speaker 1: that has you know, different attachments, and one of them
Speaker 1: I think is a thirteen millimeter, so it's close enough,
Speaker 1: and I just buzzed. I buzzed the poofs on the side.
Speaker 1: And now I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Oh good
Speaker 1: for you, man. Yeah, I mean I wore at I
Speaker 1: wore my Mets hat all night because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm unsure how it came out. But today, post shower,
Speaker 1: it looks better. It looks better, So kudos to me.
Speaker 1: And I gave my very jealous because my hair is
Speaker 1: out of control everywhere I got. The way I gave
Speaker 1: my something out of my nose, hair coming out of
Speaker 1: my ears, it's disgusting. I and and and and by
Speaker 1: the way, I am not about to give myself a
Speaker 1: hair cut because I know that I'll funk this ship up.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sure. Well. By the way, I gave myself
Speaker 1: a five dollar tip, so just letting you know that's how.
Speaker 1: That's a five tips I've sort of, I mean, I
Speaker 1: paid nothing, so five dollars is pure, pure profit. It's
Speaker 1: a hundred percent tip. It's more than a hundred percent
Speaker 1: because it was nothing and I gave it. I gave
Speaker 1: myself a lot. I'm a big tipper, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But yeah, why won't you buy clippers or nose tremor
Speaker 1: or something and clinging I have a nose hair trimmer.
Speaker 1: I have to use it. The problem is my nose
Speaker 1: hair trimmer should be from my nose. I don't want
Speaker 1: it in my I don't want the same apparatus in
Speaker 1: my nose and then put it in my ears. That's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Why it's well, then you should do your ears first. No,
Speaker 1: then you gotta smell your ear. I mean, it's all right,
Speaker 1: flip a coin, it's it's what's the lesser of two evils? Well?
Speaker 1: Would you would you rather? Would you rather have the
Speaker 1: nose here trimmer in your nose first to trim your
Speaker 1: nose hairs and then throw it in your ear, or
Speaker 1: put in your ear first, and then put in your nose,
Speaker 1: and you don't want to smell your ear. I would
Speaker 1: definitely go nose first, because your ears can't smell your nose.
Speaker 1: But then when you put it in your ears, you're
Speaker 1: you're taking whatever remucus in your nose and you're inserting
Speaker 1: it into your ear. It just sounds really, really filthy.
Speaker 1: I don't know if separate, Yeah, you know, I feel
Speaker 1: like there should be a way where you could rinse
Speaker 1: it off in the sink and wipe it with a cloth.
Speaker 1: Oh wait a minute, you can. Yeah, but no, you
Speaker 1: want to sterilize that ship. I'd rather wash it with
Speaker 1: soap and water. Okay, you don't need to sterilize it,
Speaker 1: so just wash it with soap and water. Then then
Speaker 1: do your nose on Monday and do your ears on Tuesday.
Speaker 1: This doesn't seem that complicated. I mean, people are making
Speaker 1: sacrifices in the pandemic and you can't figure out how
Speaker 1: to shave your ear hair. I mean, rather have two
Speaker 1: separate ones. Okay, now you have from my ears. Okay,
Speaker 1: now you have a sprouts coming out of your ears. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it looks like you got a corn field. You can
Speaker 1: see it on zoom. The hair is coming out of
Speaker 1: your ears. At that point you need to suck it
Speaker 1: up literally. And by the way, they can't come up
Speaker 1: with a better way, like a mini razor. I feel
Speaker 1: like a little a little a little handle mini razor.
Speaker 1: They should be able to put in your nose and
Speaker 1: shave up in your nose flat. I can't get there.
Speaker 1: I can't believe the best way to zap your nose
Speaker 1: is with an electrocution machine on a on a metal
Speaker 1: tip that goes and stings you and I know if
Speaker 1: you buy the better ones, it doesn't sting as much.
Speaker 1: I just feel like, so, isn't it really just like
Speaker 1: a metal blade spinning around the round underneath the filter
Speaker 1: of it? You know, yes, and the better ones don't
Speaker 1: pull as much, But you still can't get against the sides.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you're only getting like what's flying around in in
Speaker 1: in nose space hashtag no space, because you you can rice.
Speaker 1: You can hope that the ones on the side are
Speaker 1: long enough that if you angle the nose tremmor properly,
Speaker 1: you can maybe get it to like fall in and
Speaker 1: and shut and cut it down short. But then you
Speaker 1: get look, you get no stubble hashtag no stubble, and
Speaker 1: then you you can't, like, if you go to sneeze
Speaker 1: or like blow your nose, you're pushing the stubble into
Speaker 1: the other side of your nose and it hurts. There's
Speaker 1: no good way. The ear canal and the nostril have
Speaker 1: a lot of curves to them, and there's really nothing
Speaker 1: that's perfectly made for it. I mean, they tried to
Speaker 1: give you that rounded one, That's what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: why can't they pe a little attachment on a stick?
Speaker 1: Like a little razor, a little little gilette razor, like
Speaker 1: a little selfie, like a little like a little like
Speaker 1: a lawnmower, like a little and you just stick it
Speaker 1: up in your nose and you shave with like two blades,
Speaker 1: and you get and you get the sides. Do you
Speaker 1: get the size? Now? I would say to you, why
Speaker 1: do we have nose hair? I know that there's nose
Speaker 1: hair to catch follicles in the air, which turned into boogies, right,
Speaker 1: the boogers, little snots. They turn into the boogers because
Speaker 1: it's the dirt that your your your nostrils filtered, right,
Speaker 1: I get that, But they're annoying and they grow too long.
Speaker 1: So who designed that? Right? Like? Who created man to
Speaker 1: have the nose hairs grow down and out? What's that about?
Speaker 1: Right now? I know if you have a yard, if
Speaker 1: we were living in caves which were close to the
Speaker 1: way the pandemics going, then the hair from your nose
Speaker 1: would just interact with the nose on your face and
Speaker 1: you would never notice it. I get that, But somebody
Speaker 1: should have thought ahead. Somebody should have should have been
Speaker 1: in the in the planning meeting and said that nose
Speaker 1: hair's gross Man, that's not good. I'm excited that I
Speaker 1: still get nose hair because that means that hair continues
Speaker 1: to grow on my body and especially there's no correlation
Speaker 1: between your hair on your head and your nose. Is
Speaker 1: that you think that makes you manly and young? You
Speaker 1: don't think old guys have the longest nose hair on
Speaker 1: the planet when this is becoming an old guy conversation. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm saying it doesn't make any sense what you said.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, hey, hey, baby, what if to grow
Speaker 1: hair to grow hair? Okay, but that would that be
Speaker 1: in your Tinder profile? Ladies, I'm young and virile enough.
Speaker 1: I still grow nose hair. Is that a plus nose hair? Like?
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be great if you went through manopause and
Speaker 1: you stopped growing nose hair. Wouldn't that be better? I mean,
Speaker 1: it would give us all a break, right right, Like, Oh,
Speaker 1: your unwanted hair is not growing. Maybe I should near
Speaker 1: my nose. I wonder if anybody's ever putting air in
Speaker 1: their nose. Oh, I'm sure people are putting air everywhere.
Speaker 1: Do you think people? Do you think there's someone out
Speaker 1: there who paid for nose hair lazing? You know what
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put it past people. I bet if you
Speaker 1: google that you'll find it or your hair your hair lazy?
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, Oh got absolutely. Celebrity men, you know they're
Speaker 1: waxing their ears. They probably well porn stars, they wax
Speaker 1: their assholes. Yeah, I would imagine they do. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: shock you, No, I just because because they literally knew that. Guys.
Speaker 1: Apparently there's a thing people. There's a name for it too.
Speaker 1: Yet it's called waxing your asshole. No, no, there's a name.
Speaker 1: There's a scientific word for it. It's called getting a
Speaker 1: brazenis brezoni ant waxing? No, there's there's anyway whatever the
Speaker 1: the caseth do you remember? Do you remember? I was
Speaker 1: about five years ago. We had a sponsor, no need
Speaker 1: to mention the name. We had a spa, spa sponsor,
Speaker 1: a spa and sir, and they invited all the guys
Speaker 1: from the Morning show to come to this really nice
Speaker 1: uh spa in New Jersey and get a free treatment
Speaker 1: like come get massages or Matt and Manny petties. Because
Speaker 1: they wanted us to be to know about the spa
Speaker 1: and to talk about it locally on our New York
Speaker 1: radio station. And so for the week leading up to it. Um.
Speaker 1: I think Nate gathered the emails from us as to
Speaker 1: what we wanted. Were like, what kind of massage do
Speaker 1: you want? You want to get a Manny petty? You know,
Speaker 1: you want to get your eyebrows done. Whatever. You were
Speaker 1: able to get two things, and so Greg T the
Speaker 1: Jersey Kid, he kept joking. I thought about, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get my ass bleached. I'm gonna get my ass bleached.
Speaker 1: And we're like, hey, T, we're just going to these people.
Speaker 1: We don't know, we're not paying for the treatment. We're
Speaker 1: just going to get a half hour massage, get a
Speaker 1: manny petty, get a tour of the place, and then
Speaker 1: be able to talk about it intelligently on the air. Dude,
Speaker 1: I'm getting it. They're doing it for free. I've always
Speaker 1: wanted to just want to lighten the color of the skin.
Speaker 1: That's all he wanted to do, right which who's looking
Speaker 1: back there? Who's looking so you're telling me your wife's looking. Listen.
Speaker 1: You didn't want it to look like if you look
Speaker 1: like a a crush section of the peach. He didn't
Speaker 1: want it to look like a pit. Okay, look if
Speaker 1: if your wife is going back there. She's already made
Speaker 1: the mental jump not to care what color it is,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like, if she's going
Speaker 1: if she's doing that for you, then then her least
Speaker 1: concern is the shade. And she's like, hey, I see corn,
Speaker 1: I see cornback here. I don't care, but you're you're
Speaker 1: a little dark brown for me, shade wise on your flesh.
Speaker 1: And I can't go back here unless your pal is
Speaker 1: a ghost. Okay, But if then why is it so popular?
Speaker 1: I mean there, if you google it anal bleaching, you'll
Speaker 1: see dozens and dozens of people trying to do the
Speaker 1: procedure for you. They're chomping at the bit. I'm going
Speaker 1: to answer that, and you use the word chomp during
Speaker 1: your procedure like this, by the way, scary, Just so
Speaker 1: you know a little lesson that everyone can take home.
Speaker 1: They're gonna people are gonna say they didn't know it
Speaker 1: until today, untill they were today years old. It's not
Speaker 1: chomping at the bit. It's champing at the bit. C
Speaker 1: h a MP it is. Yeah, Well I was today
Speaker 1: years old when I found that out. That's what I thought.
Speaker 1: I thought it was chomping at the bit. No, it's
Speaker 1: it's uh well, and now where does champing come from?
Speaker 1: So so champing at the bit has to do m men.
Speaker 1: Read the definition from Grammarous on the difference, I'd rather
Speaker 1: go talk about anal bleaching and go back to get
Speaker 1: hold on champing at the bit. Now you got me wondering.
Speaker 1: One definition of bit is a metal mouthpiece used for
Speaker 1: controlling a horse. It's the bar across the horse that
Speaker 1: has roped on both sides, right, and the horse chomps
Speaker 1: at that bit right. So the tendency of some horses
Speaker 1: to chew on it when they're in patient or eager
Speaker 1: before the start of the race, it's called champing at
Speaker 1: the bit. Chomping at the bit. Some people consider this
Speaker 1: spelling wrong, but chomp can also mean to bite or
Speaker 1: cho moistly, though chomp things are often eaten. The phrase
Speaker 1: comes from the sport of King's horse race. That's right,
Speaker 1: you're not a bit, as part of the apparatus goes
Speaker 1: into the horse's mouth, connects to the bridle and reins.
Speaker 1: Horse can be controlled that way, directed by the jockey.
Speaker 1: That's correct, they chomped the bit. Nope, according to dictionary,
Speaker 1: means you're eating something. It just says it's a no,
Speaker 1: it just says it that it is. Uh, it is
Speaker 1: just another form of it. It's somehow morphed into it. Champing, chomping,
Speaker 1: from champing to chomping. Okay, so again chomping is not
Speaker 1: originally correct. If it's one of those things like they
Speaker 1: put ain't in the dictionary next to ginormous, I can't
Speaker 1: be responsible for that. I'm just telling you. The taint
Speaker 1: is next to the next to the dictionary. It's next
Speaker 1: de tangees, next to the dictionary, it's next to the
Speaker 1: it's it's next to the dick. That's right. So back
Speaker 1: to anal bleaching a sentence. I never thought I would say,
Speaker 1: by the way, I do think I will say that
Speaker 1: if if, if it has so many people with so
Speaker 1: many options trying to do it, it must be more
Speaker 1: popular than we care to admit. So what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1: What I'm gonna say is for women, I could almost
Speaker 1: understand women doing it. I'll tell you why. In in
Speaker 1: a in very common sexual positions, the man will see
Speaker 1: that part of a woman, right, Okay, but they're in
Speaker 1: gay relationships. The same thing for men. But the jersey
Speaker 1: kid is not gay. And so there's only one position
Speaker 1: I can think of where his wife would see it,
Speaker 1: and that is if they were doing the position with
Speaker 1: a number and she was on the bottom looking up.
Speaker 1: And again I would just close my eyes if I'm her.
Speaker 1: But again, the shade shouldn't be the issue in that
Speaker 1: scenario anyway. So back to the story. Um, so we
Speaker 1: walk in and they high nice to meet you. Where
Speaker 1: they were like, We're so happy to have you, and uh,
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, this is let's say Jean, she will
Speaker 1: be doing the massages, and this is Stephanie, she's the manicurist,
Speaker 1: and tells out which one of you guys is gonna
Speaker 1: bleach my asshole? He said that you were there, you
Speaker 1: were there. I'm telling a story. You were there, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't help my story, yeah, he said. And then
Speaker 1: Nate was like, and block a lot of that out,
Speaker 1: you realize that. Then Nate hit him in the arm
Speaker 1: and said, dude, shut up. He's like, what, I just
Speaker 1: want to introduce myself. He goes, how rude would it
Speaker 1: be if I didn't introduce myself to the woman who
Speaker 1: was gonna bleach my asshole? Not now, who's rude? So,
Speaker 1: my god, so yeah, he thought he was being extra
Speaker 1: polite by by introducing himself and getting to know the person.
Speaker 1: He's like, it was it would be more wrong if
Speaker 1: I didn't know the person I expected him to do that.
Speaker 1: How rude is that? So, yeah, your buddy, So was
Speaker 1: that even a possibility of that having you know, was
Speaker 1: that on the menu of service? I think it was
Speaker 1: on the menu like whitening. But but but there's like
Speaker 1: your teeth, right, there's a yeah, they're crusted, the crusted
Speaker 1: white strips. So, uh, I can understand if you said, hey,
Speaker 1: listen to the manager, listen, I would really like them,
Speaker 1: you know, the the lightning done, the whitening whatever, But
Speaker 1: don't yell out, hey, who's gonna bleach my asshole? I
Speaker 1: just I think that's a bit. And plus, when you're
Speaker 1: getting the thing for free, do you write like do
Speaker 1: you really want to have them, like as a favor,
Speaker 1: Like they're trying to get trying to introduce you to
Speaker 1: the service and that, and like you go for the
Speaker 1: one thing on the menu that is taboo. And if
Speaker 1: I remember correctly, he didn't tip. He's like, why would
Speaker 1: I tip? This was all free? I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you had this poor woman do that. I can't. Oh.
Speaker 1: And for the record, I remember I had an appearance.
Speaker 1: I was not there. I was not Oh that was
Speaker 1: one of your Okay, so you wasn't there that day.
Speaker 1: I would have remembered this. How I have forgotten that
Speaker 1: an opening line. So so let's let's recap. Now. Your
Speaker 1: appearances have kept you away from Who's Gonna Bleach My asshole?
Speaker 1: And and the weird all Yankee vic in studio interview.
Speaker 1: We never told that story, Yeah we have. You weren't there,
Speaker 1: we all uh oh, and you also missed the shoe buying.
Speaker 1: You weren't there when Elvis took us to um Saxforth
Speaker 1: Avenue to buy uh almost thousand dollars shoes for everyone
Speaker 1: on the show. I missed out on that. I never
Speaker 1: got my pair. Yeah, and you still you wanted it.
Speaker 1: You were like, oh, and I never got my anal bleaching. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but but but you thought Elvis would buy you the
Speaker 1: shoes retro actively. But he only bought them because it
Speaker 1: was a bonding experience for the men on the show.
Speaker 1: And you chose not to buy them because not to
Speaker 1: go because you had this appearance you had to go
Speaker 1: to I get that. But then you're like, well this,
Speaker 1: you still own me a pair of shoes, and he
Speaker 1: was like, no, the shoes were part of the experience
Speaker 1: and you felt you you felt you should still get
Speaker 1: the shoes. Well, yeah that was then. That was like
Speaker 1: five years ago. Yeah it was. I still have those.
Speaker 1: I still those shoes. They still look good. Have you
Speaker 1: warned them, Well, I think I talked about this on
Speaker 1: the podcast. I've warned them. I think four times I
Speaker 1: wore them to a function, wedding or something where I
Speaker 1: brought them with me and put them on when I
Speaker 1: got there. I wore them on two different cruises because
Speaker 1: the carpets are the hallways are carpeted, and it's indoors
Speaker 1: and it's you know, not gonna get scuffed too badly.
Speaker 1: And I think I wore them out to a reunion
Speaker 1: of my high school buddies where I put them on
Speaker 1: in the car getting out of the call are, and
Speaker 1: then I put took them off once I got back
Speaker 1: in the car. But I wanted them to think I
Speaker 1: was wearing eight hundred all of shoes normally so and
Speaker 1: now someone in South Dakota is wearing them. Thank you, No, no,
Speaker 1: no way, no, because God forbid Elvis ever said hey,
Speaker 1: everybody where those yeah, well yeah you know, and I
Speaker 1: would be like, I don't have them anymore. No, I
Speaker 1: could never know. Plus I would never sell them, like
Speaker 1: I love these shoes, love them, Okay, I just don't
Speaker 1: feel comfortable wearing them. Picture it didn't happen. Let me
Speaker 1: see it. I'll send you picks. They're they're I think
Speaker 1: you No, I have them, and I still have the
Speaker 1: I still have the shoe bags they came in. Sorry,
Speaker 1: run get your fanciest patter of shoes from the closet
Speaker 1: and photograph and send it. Yeah. Hey, um, we're gonna
Speaker 1: let's take a break here. We'll be right back after
Speaker 1: this with B and Scary. All right. Well that was
Speaker 1: actually longer of a break then you think, because it
Speaker 1: was only about a minute in podcast time, It was
Speaker 1: actually three hours in our time, right because I said
Speaker 1: I gotta go and we went to commercial. What I
Speaker 1: had to go do was I had to go pick
Speaker 1: up my order p F. Chang's China Bistro and uh,
Speaker 1: because I ordered it like two o'clock for six o'clock
Speaker 1: and I had to leave, and I said I may
Speaker 1: have to leave and I realized. My wife texted me,
Speaker 1: she's like, you gotta leave. So I left, and here
Speaker 1: we are three hours later, continuing the podcast. In fact,
Speaker 1: I don't think we've ever done this before. No, And
Speaker 1: and the reason why it's three hours is that, of
Speaker 1: course there was a problem. So there's always a fucking
Speaker 1: problem with you, all right, So let me tell you
Speaker 1: what happened. So I ordered them. I'll tell you what
Speaker 1: I ordered. I ordered two orders the Mongolian beef no vegetables,
Speaker 1: of course, a wanton soup, no vegetables, chicken fried rice
Speaker 1: no vegetables, and uh let us wraps. They were fine.
Speaker 1: And then I ordered an item that isn't on the
Speaker 1: menu anymore, but it's always been my favorite and if
Speaker 1: you ask for it, they'll make it now. I don't
Speaker 1: know why they don't have it on the menu, but
Speaker 1: every stroll will make it for you. The problem is
Speaker 1: now you have to order on the app right or
Speaker 1: through door dash or whatever, and you can't order something
Speaker 1: that isn't on the menu. Can you leave it in
Speaker 1: the special instructions? No, because if they don't see it,
Speaker 1: they won't ring that up as a dish, right. I'm
Speaker 1: so so I had so I called, so I called
Speaker 1: in the order and I spoke to I want to say,
Speaker 1: the guy's name is Mike, very nice guy. So I
Speaker 1: give him the order and I say, oh, and lastly,
Speaker 1: I know it's not on the menu, but I want
Speaker 1: a combo double pan fried noodles which has like a
Speaker 1: brown sauce and then chicken, beef and shrimp. Right, And
Speaker 1: if you order it, they know you. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this guy knows this stuff because it's it's one of
Speaker 1: those hidden items that that was the way for a
Speaker 1: guy who won't go eat it Adam's pizza. You eat
Speaker 1: a PF PF chans Channa bistro and order from a
Speaker 1: guy named Mike. Hold on a second. Now, First of all,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna respond to that. You're right, um, I mean,
Speaker 1: hold on, you're eating Mike's food, Mike from from China,
Speaker 1: okay in two thousand. But but you won't eat Adam
Speaker 1: And we've had the pizza conversation. If you don't know
Speaker 1: what we're talking about, you're not listening in order. Shame
Speaker 1: on you go back and listen to I will address
Speaker 1: that because it's a good question. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1: So we have an intercom system here through Google home
Speaker 1: at you know, at the house, because my kids are
Speaker 1: two floors up, and so I googled my daughter and
Speaker 1: she so she googled into calms us and said, hey,
Speaker 1: can I get French fries? And I said, so I
Speaker 1: I in tocom back and I said, well, you can
Speaker 1: have French fries, but it's four o'clock. Don't forget we're
Speaker 1: having Chinese food. And she into calm back down and
Speaker 1: she said, how dare you It's not Chinese food, Dad,
Speaker 1: it's p F Chang's. So my family is well trained
Speaker 1: and their connoisseurs. But here's what I'll say to you.
Speaker 1: The difference between Stacy's pizza is that Stacy is an
Speaker 1: Italian most likely and shouldn't be making pizza with her recipe.
Speaker 1: P F Chang's is a corporate recipe based on somewhat
Speaker 1: Asian recipes. But I will say p F Chang's is
Speaker 1: not what I would consider Chinese food. It is Chinese
Speaker 1: style food in the same way that Taco Bell and
Speaker 1: Jose Tejas are Mexican food. Their text Max, So let's
Speaker 1: call p F Chang's text Chinese. Okay? So all right?
Speaker 1: So I so I order from Mike, and I order everything.
Speaker 1: You know the way I order. You know me rose
Speaker 1: polam in ventuals. So I know what I order, I
Speaker 1: know how you ordered it. So I go on, Um,
Speaker 1: you have to wait outside, so they ask you on
Speaker 1: the phone what's your name and what what does your
Speaker 1: car look like? Because they come out to the car
Speaker 1: when they see your car, and they bring you your food.
Speaker 1: So I'm driving the third car that I got from
Speaker 1: my daughter, and I say, I'm in an electric blue
Speaker 1: Ford Fusion. So he says to me, got it alexis
Speaker 1: blue Ford Fusion. So I said no, No, I didn't
Speaker 1: say alexis blue, I said. So, I said, Mike, what's
Speaker 1: alexis blue Ford Fusion? So he says, I assume it's
Speaker 1: a blue Lexus, uh and Ford Fusions the model. I said, dude,
Speaker 1: you don't know any about cars. Alexis doesn't make Fords,
Speaker 1: that doesn't. I said, it's an electric blue for your
Speaker 1: problem from right from there? Right? So I said right,
Speaker 1: So I said it was coming. I I knew it
Speaker 1: was coming. So I said, you know, the real end
Speaker 1: was coming, and that was free dessert like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: it wasn't a good omen so I said no. I said, no, Mike,
Speaker 1: it's an electric blue Ford Fusion. It's a Ford Fusion
Speaker 1: that's electric blue. He says, oh, I don't need to
Speaker 1: know that it's a hybrid. I just need to know
Speaker 1: that it's blue. I said, Mike, it's not an electric car.
Speaker 1: The color is electric blue. Let's just say it's a
Speaker 1: metallic blue. It's a very bright, metallic blue. You won't
Speaker 1: be able to miss it. Mike. He's okay. So I
Speaker 1: get there and some guy comes to the car. And
Speaker 1: now listen, I know there's a pandemic, so I'm willing
Speaker 1: to make certain exceptions. I wait a little longer. It's
Speaker 1: not a problem. I'm not upset. In no part of
Speaker 1: this story am I upset. I just want to get
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put that out there, so you know. He
Speaker 1: comes out. The guy comes to the car with the
Speaker 1: mask and the gloves and and he he says, what
Speaker 1: are you here to pick up? And I said, I'm
Speaker 1: here to pick up for David. This is a Ford Fusion.
Speaker 1: So I give him my credit odd and and I
Speaker 1: had a gift card for twenty five dollars. And he
Speaker 1: goes inside. I see him walk in and when in
Speaker 1: twenty seconds he walks back out and he says, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: we have a couple of David's. What's your last name?
Speaker 1: So I said, it's on the credit card you're holding,
Speaker 1: and he looks at me and he goes, all right,
Speaker 1: so again, okay, so red flag right there, red flag
Speaker 1: right there. He came back out. So they bring the
Speaker 1: food out, and I have to say, very professional packing.
Speaker 1: The food bags have one handle and the opening of
Speaker 1: the bag is melted shut. They must have like a
Speaker 1: clamp sealer that melts the plastic bag so it's sealed,
Speaker 1: so no one can touch the food once it's in
Speaker 1: the bag, so I can't open it to check it.
Speaker 1: But it's good. It's germ free this way, so I'm
Speaker 1: fine with that. I get home, I take out all
Speaker 1: the food, and my wife and I are unpacking the food.
Speaker 1: My kids are upstairs. They're not coming down yet there
Speaker 1: once they in a shower or whatever. That's an important
Speaker 1: part of the story. So I laid all the food
Speaker 1: on the table and I go to open my pan
Speaker 1: fire noodles, my favorite, and it's plain lomaine. I go,
Speaker 1: I said, what what the hell is this? I want
Speaker 1: to double pan fried noodles, which is a brown sauce
Speaker 1: and and and chicken beef and and shrimp and what
Speaker 1: is this? So I saw God, I gotta go back now.
Speaker 1: Now keep in mind, I lived twenty five minutes away
Speaker 1: from the mall where the p F Chang's is. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't live close, but that's my dinner. So I
Speaker 1: called back and I speak to a girl named Elsa. Uh,
Speaker 1: by the way, I had a nice conversation about Elsa.
Speaker 1: Everyone makes fun of her name. She hates the movie.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, oh hey, I like she said. She waits
Speaker 1: tables and every night the people at the end and
Speaker 1: she'll say, can we get you anything else? And they'll go, yeah,
Speaker 1: we have a question and want and they do you
Speaker 1: want to build the snow right right? So she hates
Speaker 1: her name. I told her she should just change her name,
Speaker 1: like she'd call herself Elsie or something. Yeah, have you
Speaker 1: seen Frozen? People ask her if she's seen Frozen at
Speaker 1: this point, like have you seen the movie Frozen? Like
Speaker 1: she wants to kill herself over the name, and you
Speaker 1: think she hasn't seen the movie anyway. So Elsie says,
Speaker 1: no problem, I'm so sorry, you know what we're We're
Speaker 1: we're very busy tonight. I feel terrible. If you come back,
Speaker 1: we'll make it right away. So I said, well, you
Speaker 1: know what, Look it's a twenty five minute ride. I'll
Speaker 1: come back. But here's the problem with pan fried noodles
Speaker 1: in my house. One of my kids likes him, and
Speaker 1: one of my kids loves them of my three kids.
Speaker 1: So I know if I get Pan Fight noodles, there's
Speaker 1: never gonna be enough. I said, you know what, I
Speaker 1: would be okay if you could give me a second
Speaker 1: pan fire noodles, no vegetables for my trouble. She's, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, not a problem, Consider it done. Okay.
Speaker 1: I hang up, and as I'm leaving, my wife says,
Speaker 1: you didn't have to steal it out of the fridge.
Speaker 1: Shut up, man, I didn't steal it. She she gave
Speaker 1: it me. No problem anyway. So my wife opens up
Speaker 1: the fried rice and there's vegetables in the fried rice.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, crap, all right, I'll call Elsie back
Speaker 1: from the car. Not a problem. So I get in
Speaker 1: the car. I called back, trying to be of changs,
Speaker 1: and it's else again. I said, hey, uh, this is
Speaker 1: David again. Hey, yeah, we'll have that food for you
Speaker 1: right away. Don't worry, I said, nope. Uh, I hate
Speaker 1: to even mention this, but the chicken fried rice, Um,
Speaker 1: it has vegetables in it. I ordered would have vegetables.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you want me to stop
Speaker 1: and turn around and bring it back. Um, because because
Speaker 1: oh remind me of Chinese food restaurant I to tell
Speaker 1: you about. I said, you want me to bring it back? No,
Speaker 1: it's fine, we trust you. We'll have a fried rice
Speaker 1: ready for you with the with the pan the two
Speaker 1: pan fire noodles. No vegetables, No vegetables, got it? Okay?
Speaker 1: So I'm driving ten minutes goes by and my daughter
Speaker 1: texted me they didn't put any fortune cookies or fruit
Speaker 1: in with the bag. That's the favorite part of the
Speaker 1: meal at the end, to get the fortune cookies and
Speaker 1: the fruit. So I called back and Elsi's is high
Speaker 1: p F Chang's Elsa, yeah, David again, Um, one more
Speaker 1: thing I didn't get. No, she couldn't have been nice
Speaker 1: nicer telling you else's no. No, I saw her, I
Speaker 1: met her. I'll tell you the story. She's like, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. I said, I'll put extra fortune cookies in
Speaker 1: not a problem, whatever you need, no problem, Okay. So
Speaker 1: I don't know about ten minutes more. I'm five minutes away.
Speaker 1: My wife sends me a screenshot of the soup and
Speaker 1: the vegetables in the soup. Now I ordered wanton soup
Speaker 1: and vegetables, so it's got spinach and mushrooms. And now
Speaker 1: the spinach changes the flavor of the soup dramatically. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't eat the soup my kids, right,
Speaker 1: my kids aren't gonna It's worse than dill. So my
Speaker 1: kids aren't gonna eat the soup. So I text back, Hi, Pfan,
Speaker 1: I said, Elsa, at this point, you should just answer
Speaker 1: the phone. High up, David, it's Elsa. At this I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. So on the fourth phone call, she's laughing.
Speaker 1: She's I am so sorry, I said, says I will
Speaker 1: get you the soup. I'll get you all your food
Speaker 1: change tonight. Hey, sounds like you should shut up. Let
Speaker 1: me finish my story. Sound I know where this is going.
Speaker 1: All roads lead to free dessert. Have we not learned
Speaker 1: anything off this podcast? But what we've learned is I
Speaker 1: normally have to fight with the manager. So well, yeah,
Speaker 1: well know because right now you mean, I hear your
Speaker 1: voice is so even keel yea, so far it's a
Speaker 1: friendly conversations. Okay, well no no. So I get there
Speaker 1: and Elsa comes out to my car and says, Hi,
Speaker 1: are you David. Yep, I am so sorry. We're doing
Speaker 1: our best. I feel awful. We messed up so much
Speaker 1: of your food. She said, look, um, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: see if I can know you know what it was.
Speaker 1: I called first. I called to tell her I was
Speaker 1: pulling up, and when I had her on the phone,
Speaker 1: she says, I'm gonna see if I get the manager,
Speaker 1: because you should speak to the manager. You've had four problems.
Speaker 1: I feel terrible. Talk to the manager. I said, I'm
Speaker 1: good if you're giving me the food and the free
Speaker 1: pan for noodles. I don't need to speak to the manager.
Speaker 1: Noe's in your head. So she says, you should absolutely
Speaker 1: speak to the manager. It was like my birthday. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, I'm not asking to speak to the manager. Nope,
Speaker 1: you should speak to the manager. So I'm on hold.
Speaker 1: She comes out and she says, the manager is really busy.
Speaker 1: She feels terrible, but if you'd like you can call tomorrow.
Speaker 1: The general manager will be here and he would love
Speaker 1: to hear what what what happened, because we're doing our best,
Speaker 1: and if you want to tell him what happened, i'd
Speaker 1: be great, she said. But I feel terrible. I said, Elsa,
Speaker 1: you have been the most polite, apologetic employee that I've
Speaker 1: experienced in years. If I call the store tomorrow, it's
Speaker 1: only to tell the general manager how great you are.
Speaker 1: And she says, oh my god, I'm she was blushing. Wow,
Speaker 1: it's a love fest. I could not have been more
Speaker 1: happy with Elsa. All right, Um, so a guy comes
Speaker 1: out with my food because the first wave of food
Speaker 1: comes out watching the Titanic, you know, the damn ship,
Speaker 1: saying yeah, okay, all right, but you should have my
Speaker 1: music ready anyway. Uh so scary, scary, scary, have the
Speaker 1: music ready? So okay. So so the guy comes out
Speaker 1: with the pan fire noodles and the rice and says
Speaker 1: the soup will be out in a minute. Elsa brings
Speaker 1: the soup out in a small bag and she says, again,
Speaker 1: I can't be any sorrier. You're so nice about this.
Speaker 1: She said, listen, we have your name. We're gonna give
Speaker 1: you a full credit for your meal. I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: the GM take care of it tomorrow. The foods on us.
Speaker 1: So I said, well, okay, um, but I paid with
Speaker 1: the twenty five dollar credit A gift card also not
Speaker 1: a problem. Will credit the card back as well, so
Speaker 1: I said. So, I said, well that's very nice. How
Speaker 1: are you getting the card to me? She just swing
Speaker 1: by tomorrow. So I said, I gotta swing by tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I gotta come back here. I said, can you mail it? No,
Speaker 1: we can't mail it. I said, okay, well if I
Speaker 1: come tomorrow, can you give me like a fifty dollar
Speaker 1: gift card? And she says absolutely. So, so I got
Speaker 1: the free meal, the extra the AFTRAC you have card,
Speaker 1: no problem. So I'm I'm I'm rolling hold on a second.
Speaker 1: Why you do a fifty gift card you already got
Speaker 1: your free hold on? Because I have to go back
Speaker 1: again and it's a twenty five minute trip, so that's
Speaker 1: a lot of gas in my time. I's got a
Speaker 1: dollar a dollar a mile or dollar. Keep in mind,
Speaker 1: food cost is in the food industry, right, so giving
Speaker 1: me an extra trying to get a fifty dollar gift
Speaker 1: card off for because of the inconvenient to come back
Speaker 1: tomorrow to get your gift card. Right, and it's only
Speaker 1: costing them six dollars because the food cost is in
Speaker 1: the middle of the pandemic. Hold On, at some point,
Speaker 1: you just cut your loss. Hold on, like you know what,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, I'll come back tomorrow. Hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on. Yes, you're you're you're partially right. So I
Speaker 1: said it kind of jokingly and she's like, no, absolutely.
Speaker 1: I said it, like, well, if you come back and
Speaker 1: you double it. She saw I was kind of joking
Speaker 1: and she was like, nope, you're right. Well we'll do
Speaker 1: that for you. Great, Okay. So I get home. I
Speaker 1: get the pan fried noodles and look great, the fried
Speaker 1: rice perfect. And I opened the soup and the soup
Speaker 1: has vegetables in it. Again. I mean, I went back twice.
Speaker 1: They made a special trip for me and made everything
Speaker 1: again a second time, comped my meal, gave me the discount,
Speaker 1: and then after all that, the soup has vegetables in
Speaker 1: it again. Twist. There's a plot twist. But here's what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do, scary. I am not gonna call and
Speaker 1: ask for anything for the soup. So I'm good. But
Speaker 1: tomorrow you're gonna go back. You're gonna get you fifty
Speaker 1: dollars and then you're gonna complain about No, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I won't mention the soup. I will not now. No,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna know you way too well. No, I'm okay.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna mention how great also was. And I might
Speaker 1: mention the soup in an off handed way, but not
Speaker 1: because I want anything. I will not take a penny more,
Speaker 1: I promise, but I want you like stolen at this point,
Speaker 1: At this point, it's embarrassing. No, it's not. It's not
Speaker 1: because listen, you've taken a lot from that scary but
Speaker 1: you got it all for free. How much did you?
Speaker 1: How much money came out of your pocket for your
Speaker 1: entire dinner tonight? I gave them a twy dollar tip,
Speaker 1: So the twy the tip they keep doesn't count. Well,
Speaker 1: that's out of my pocket anyway, I want your Oh
Speaker 1: I want it counts? No, no, no, no, it only counts.
Speaker 1: You asked me how much, how much out of pocket?
Speaker 1: I was okay, So the hundred dollar tip that I
Speaker 1: know for nope, nope, nope, count I know even I
Speaker 1: didn't got right there because twisting my It was for free,
Speaker 1: not not what I said. You seem to have not
Speaker 1: counted that discount. Scary. You asked me how much money
Speaker 1: came out of my pocket tonight, And I'm only pointing
Speaker 1: out as a way to remind people to overtip these days,
Speaker 1: because these people are working very hard for counts for something. Nope,
Speaker 1: it only counts to answer your question. It doesn't count
Speaker 1: towards what I spent on. You asked me a question,
Speaker 1: you said, how much money? For the record, I paid
Speaker 1: a hundred dollar tip on that steak dinner that came
Speaker 1: out of my pocket. Okay, scared, let's not People don't
Speaker 1: want to hear the steak dinner thing until you give
Speaker 1: me you buy me a steak anyway. I want your
Speaker 1: opinion on this. For Chinese food, when when I said
Speaker 1: to the girl Elsa, do you want the fried rice back?
Speaker 1: She said, don't be ridiculous. We couldn't take it back anyway.
Speaker 1: It's a pandemic. We couldn't take the bull back into
Speaker 1: the building, like I just wanted to ask. On Wednesday.
Speaker 1: On Wednesday went off and I went for Chinese food.
Speaker 1: I haven't had Chinese food and in a month and
Speaker 1: a half. So I'm on, but you're willing to eat
Speaker 1: it from a guy named Mike and a woman named Elsa.
Speaker 1: Next time I get a hold on. Mike and Elsa
Speaker 1: weren't making the food, and Mike and Elson didn't create
Speaker 1: the recipe. But I went for authentic Chinese food on
Speaker 1: Wednesday by myself. I ordered it from a place I
Speaker 1: always order from. Now what do I order? If I'm
Speaker 1: ordering lomaine scary no vegetables? No, what's the whole? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, do you not listen to this podcast? People
Speaker 1: are screaming at you right now. Roast pork, roast pork
Speaker 1: loamin pork, yeah, right right, And it's one word rose
Speaker 1: poklomaino vegetables right, Okay, So I wanted two things. I
Speaker 1: ordered pork dumplings and I ordered roast pork loamine no vegetables.
Speaker 1: Now this place, I love this place, but every once
Speaker 1: in a while they make a mistake, not a problem.
Speaker 1: So I wait outside and there's a table outside, okay,
Speaker 1: And they said, there's a table outside. We'll put a
Speaker 1: will write your name on the brown paper bag so
Speaker 1: you'll see it and you'll just come get it. We
Speaker 1: don't interact, not a problem. So I'm sitting the nose
Speaker 1: of my car is right up against the staircase that
Speaker 1: you go up to the table, because that it was
Speaker 1: an old diner that's been converted to a Chinese restaurant.
Speaker 1: She's now old diners have a staircase or ramp that
Speaker 1: this is the staircase. And on the top of the
Speaker 1: staircase is a little patio area, like a little flat
Speaker 1: area where they have like a little a bridge table
Speaker 1: set up, and it's like two or three bags up there.
Speaker 1: While I'm waiting, a guy gets out of his car
Speaker 1: with a mask and gloves. He goes and gets his food. Okay,
Speaker 1: at this point on the table there are two giant
Speaker 1: bags and a little bag. Now they're not mine because
Speaker 1: I just ordered. Right, a woman walks up. She's the
Speaker 1: third customer that I've seen, no mask, no gloves, and
Speaker 1: she starts touching every bag and looking in every bag
Speaker 1: to see which one is hers, even though from my
Speaker 1: car I can see that right right, So so I
Speaker 1: blow my whole worn. Now I'm I'm sitting in my
Speaker 1: car with my with my mask and my goggles on
Speaker 1: because I know any minute now they're about to bring
Speaker 1: my food out. So I'm ready, right, So I blow
Speaker 1: the horn. She looks and turns to me, like, what
Speaker 1: are you blow on the horn at? So I look
Speaker 1: at her and I point to my mask and my
Speaker 1: right and I look at her and I go and
Speaker 1: I yelled at the window. The names are on the bag.
Speaker 1: Stop touching everybody's food. And she's like, she looks at
Speaker 1: me with that f you face, but doesn't say anything.
Speaker 1: And so she finds her bag. Now, wouldn't you know
Speaker 1: it's scary. It was the tiniest bag she ordered, like
Speaker 1: one thing in a little plastic bag, but she had
Speaker 1: to touch all of the large bags to see which
Speaker 1: bag was hers, giant bags of like seventy dollars worth
Speaker 1: the food. Common sense? You you know you ordered one thing.
Speaker 1: You know your bag is going to be small. It's
Speaker 1: impossible for your ship to be in the bigger bags.
Speaker 1: So so she gets the bag of would and she
Speaker 1: gives me a look like me right, So, first of all,
Speaker 1: fuck you Chinese food, Francis, I'm throwing that out there,
Speaker 1: so my food. I see the bag that looks like
Speaker 1: the size of a bag that would be mine, and
Speaker 1: I can see my name is on it. So I
Speaker 1: go and get my bag and I walk into my
Speaker 1: car and I checked the food. I want to make
Speaker 1: sure the orders right. It's only dumplings and the lomain.
Speaker 1: I opened the lomain and it's fresh pork lomain. It's fresh.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know the difference, but it's
Speaker 1: like sliced gray pork. It's not red. It's not I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's okay, but it's not that roast pork. You
Speaker 1: gotta love roast pork. I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: I know the difference the red roast pork. Plus, if
Speaker 1: you're following the news, they're shutting down pork factories all
Speaker 1: across the country and they're talking about how might be
Speaker 1: a pork shortage. So I want my roast pork loamin
Speaker 1: now before there's a shortage, which is why I was
Speaker 1: at the Chinese restaurant on Wednesday. I gotta get my
Speaker 1: roast pork. So I call inside and I say, hey,
Speaker 1: this is David. I just ordered. Oh yeah, they know me.
Speaker 1: I said, I got fresh pork instead of roast pork.
Speaker 1: So she well, I ordered their all time. So she says,
Speaker 1: you ordered fresh pork. I said you know, Um I didn't,
Speaker 1: because I know in my entire life, I ordered roast pork,
Speaker 1: lomaino vegetables. And if you ask Christine who works there,
Speaker 1: that's her name, or I'm assuming that's maybe her name.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but that's her name. And uh, I said,
Speaker 1: Christine knows I ordered everything, no vegetables, roast porks. She knows.
Speaker 1: This is another woman I don't never never saw it before.
Speaker 1: So she's I'll get you another right away. Not a problem.
Speaker 1: So if you've got the fresh pork lomain in the
Speaker 1: car and you hadn't eaten all day, you might you
Speaker 1: might pick it right because it's going in the garbage.
Speaker 1: That's fair, right, So I have a little lomaine, I
Speaker 1: have a couple of pieces of fresh pork because it's
Speaker 1: going in the garbage. And you know what, it's not bad,
Speaker 1: but it's not roast pork. But now I'm not starving
Speaker 1: because I had to wait in a ten minutes now
Speaker 1: for my food and my wife's waiting for me to
Speaker 1: come home with uh with other stuff at the groceries
Speaker 1: I got. So she comes out and and she hands
Speaker 1: me the food. She goes, give me, give me give
Speaker 1: me lomaine. So I said, you take in a back, Yes,
Speaker 1: I go. Aren't you gonna throw it out? Can I
Speaker 1: keep it? What are you doing with it? Oh? We
Speaker 1: take it back? What are you gonna do with it?
Speaker 1: What are you gonna do with it? First of all,
Speaker 1: even if I didn't right, even if if even if
Speaker 1: I didn't eat from it, you you can't serve it
Speaker 1: to somebody else. Even if these times were certain times,
Speaker 1: he still wouldn't be able to do anything in these
Speaker 1: difficult times. If they were non difficult, you can't do
Speaker 1: anything with it. Now, I'd be curious to see where
Speaker 1: their food went. Right. Now, here's what I'll say. When
Speaker 1: you order delivery. Sometimes when you call them to have
Speaker 1: the driver bring you another one, they want you to
Speaker 1: give back the old one because they don't want you
Speaker 1: to try to scam them that you want like double right,
Speaker 1: They and the driver brings it back so that they
Speaker 1: can show the boss I got the old one. It
Speaker 1: wasn't a scam, right. But she works there. She's an
Speaker 1: older woman. She sees clearly I've got fresh pork. She
Speaker 1: knows I ordered roast pork. She needs to take it back,
Speaker 1: so I don't keep it, and now I'm wondering what
Speaker 1: they did with it. Now I'm kind of schemed out
Speaker 1: about it. Now, I'm like, what are they doing with
Speaker 1: its favorite Chinese food place right there? It's my third favorite?
Speaker 1: But they're still open during the pandemic? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: China China pandemic is closed in the food court in
Speaker 1: the mall, so you can't go there anyway. China pandemic express. Yeah, pandemic, right,
Speaker 1: that's what that's That's what I was saying, China pandemic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so how about that? So p F Chang's, Oh keep it,
Speaker 1: don't work? About that? How about that? And then the
Speaker 1: Chinese food places like oh uh? Got out that back.
Speaker 1: By the way, you can never ever yell at me
Speaker 1: for talking for ten minutes again like you did in
Speaker 1: the last two podcasts. Now that's fair. Wait last podcast,
Speaker 1: I didn't do that. And by the way, Elvis, Elvis
Speaker 1: yelled at you yesterday on the show this morning because
Speaker 1: because you ask him a question and answer it and
Speaker 1: then keep talking what you always do. Because I was
Speaker 1: looking for an opinion that opinion based questions. I'm allowed
Speaker 1: to give my opinion as you go. Right, you ask
Speaker 1: a question, you impart your opinion and then you you
Speaker 1: bring it to everybody else. Right, But the people who
Speaker 1: are asked wholes, they called them. Asked wholes is when
Speaker 1: you ask a question and you answer it, but it's
Speaker 1: a factual question, like something that has an answer to it,
Speaker 1: Like I knew the answer to that, so I answered
Speaker 1: my own question. But when you ask a question it's
Speaker 1: opinion based. You can give your opinion, you're still looking
Speaker 1: for everyone else's opinion. You're a big difference. That is
Speaker 1: not an asshole. So I'm not an asshole. You're not
Speaker 1: more of Yeah, you're not an ask cale. But Elvis
Speaker 1: pointed out you went off for like seven minutes, right,
Speaker 1: you answered, so you never so much time. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying on the Big Show, No, no, no, absolutely,
Speaker 1: you deserve air time. Uh well I wasn't saying that either.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like I don't you're you're making it
Speaker 1: sound like I talked for ten minutes. No, no, no not.
Speaker 1: That's why we have this part. That's why this podcast
Speaker 1: even exists. Right, so we can just sit here and
Speaker 1: ramble about Chinese food. Right, Okay, we got a couple
Speaker 1: of wet We got a couple of a break. All right,
Speaker 1: we'll right back. I'm not going for dinner again. You
Speaker 1: want to get a true minute. That was a true minute,
Speaker 1: right there, there's been. You want to play the sound
Speaker 1: stuff and then we'll talk about the thing you said
Speaker 1: on the air that has been that what Okay, we
Speaker 1: have some sound we should play. I can play the
Speaker 1: two songs that I produced, the new ones, and then
Speaker 1: I gotta call you on the carpet literally for something
Speaker 1: you said on the air that Uh, first of all,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you did it, and I can't believe
Speaker 1: you said it on the radio. So okay, well all right,
Speaker 1: let's oh now we're out of time because you don't
Speaker 1: want to talk about it. Okay, I don't want to
Speaker 1: dress this, okay. So by the time you no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about. Take the word yourself.
Speaker 1: The word yourself is in the subject matter. Well just no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be honest, no no, no, okay, let's
Speaker 1: gets try to suck their own dick. Hear that. Guys,
Speaker 1: we all did that at one point, your kids, We
Speaker 1: all have when we were kids. Someone somewhere along the way,
Speaker 1: you definitely tried it. But that's another story, and I
Speaker 1: firmly stand behind that. I said that on the air,
Speaker 1: and I didn't say it like that because we're not
Speaker 1: allowed to. But that's why these podcasts are cool, because
Speaker 1: we could say whatever the funk we want and however
Speaker 1: we want. But anyway, but that's another that's for later. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get to some sound and then we'll address this.
Speaker 1: Because you're bullshitting me. How am I bullshitting you? I
Speaker 1: haven't said a word. You're bullshitting me. If you're bullshitting
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, hold, I don't want to have
Speaker 1: this conversation till the end. You shut up. How can
Speaker 1: I follow that? How can I play soundclips? Because now
Speaker 1: people are like, I don't want to soundclips. I want
Speaker 1: to hear the story. All right, you just sabotaged. You
Speaker 1: just completely complete sabotage. I love them. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I didn't talk about the Beastie Boys story. I don't
Speaker 1: give you my review. Speaking to Sabbotha. By the way,
Speaker 1: there's a band that I loved, uh it's a long
Speaker 1: time ago, called Sabotage. I love them now. A little
Speaker 1: known fact about Sabotage. They were a hair metal band
Speaker 1: late eighties earlier mid eighties, late eighties. But they were
Speaker 1: also very um a lot of instrumentation. They played the
Speaker 1: piano that orchestras occasionally in their sound. They did rock
Speaker 1: opera CDs with the whole CD was a big piece
Speaker 1: of production. Anyway, that members of that band went on
Speaker 1: to become Trans Siberian Orchestra's right, right, So sometimes when
Speaker 1: I instrumental, it's actually right. So a couple of the
Speaker 1: guys from Trans Siberian were guys who are founding members
Speaker 1: or important members of Sabotage with a V. So, because
Speaker 1: I like that band so much, sometimes when I'm saying
Speaker 1: the word sabotage, I sometimes say sabotage with a V.
Speaker 1: And then I have to remember the Beastie Boys song
Speaker 1: is sabotage and then helps me remember to say the word.
Speaker 1: So although I'm a word tsar normally, uh, sometimes I
Speaker 1: sabotage and hope nobody notices it. Okay, go back and
Speaker 1: listen to um, what's what album? Is it Hailed to
Speaker 1: the King? Maybe no, it's a rock opera. It's Sabotage.
Speaker 1: Sabotage had an album was it was fantastic anyway, red
Speaker 1: album cover. Now we're talking about Christie Todd Whitman from
Speaker 1: last week. Okay, so last week Christie Todd Whitman, uh
Speaker 1: was talking about how the pandemic across the state lines
Speaker 1: and I played it last week and she said the
Speaker 1: wrong thing twice. Play the clip of last week, how
Speaker 1: we reopen and how we do this because this coronavirus
Speaker 1: doesn't care about your political boundaries. They could care less
Speaker 1: about They could care less about one state or the other,
Speaker 1: and people travel between them, so it really is. Okay.
Speaker 1: So Christie Tard Whitman, as you remember from last week
Speaker 1: as you listen to order, she used to be the
Speaker 1: governor of New Jersey. Okay, so she said the virus
Speaker 1: doesn't care about boundaries and then said it could care less,
Speaker 1: it could care less twice when we all know it's
Speaker 1: I couldn't care less. Okay, fair enough. So you know politicians,
Speaker 1: when they get a catchphrase, they think like they have
Speaker 1: the greatest sentence ever. Here she is again yesterday on
Speaker 1: a talk show. You know, mother nature and these kinds
Speaker 1: of diseases don't respect any kind of boundary. They could
Speaker 1: care less about political boundaries. They care care less about
Speaker 1: your wealth somebody should really have a conversation with her.
Speaker 1: So not only did she say the exact same sentence
Speaker 1: pretty much about geopolitical boundaries, she's she doubled it again.
Speaker 1: She doubled it police. By the way, the back of
Speaker 1: my p F Chang's gift card had a number like
Speaker 1: a gift card number, and then it said pin and
Speaker 1: a hashtag next to it. It actually said pin number.
Speaker 1: If you guys don't know hashtag. The hashtag symbol also
Speaker 1: means numbers. No, people don't use it for anymore. Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Christie woman, what else did I give you? We
Speaker 1: have a couple of surprise clips here? Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: not heard okay, but there was no other sound bites.
Speaker 1: That was only sound okay time, I mean we we
Speaker 1: we were talking to about heroes and non heroes, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: So I have two songs and I have two clips.
Speaker 1: Do you want the surprise clips first? And let's go
Speaker 1: for the surprise clips? Okay, I've been waiting all day,
Speaker 1: all right, So I will explain to you what the
Speaker 1: clip is, but I want you to play the clip
Speaker 1: number two first. I don't know which one is which
Speaker 1: they are labeled It says once says scary surprise. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my road Caster pro doesn't have them. They just it
Speaker 1: cuts everything off. You suck. It's a surprise clip. It
Speaker 1: could be clip for all I know. Okay, but it
Speaker 1: says scary surprise clip. Nope, surprise clip and surprise clip.
Speaker 1: It says all right, we'll take a guess. All right,
Speaker 1: go ahead, batting clean up the third baseman, number twelve,
Speaker 1: David Brody. Oh my god, that's the new mess announcer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that that the men announcer. So Colin Cosal, who
Speaker 1: is the grandson of Howard Cosell. One of the greatest
Speaker 1: American sports casts of all time is how for Monday
Speaker 1: Night Football on Avies Right. If you've ever watched seventies
Speaker 1: football or Muhammad Ali fights, he was the voice of
Speaker 1: American sports in the seventies. He was on The Odd
Speaker 1: Couple as a guest star. Anyway, that's his nephew. His
Speaker 1: grandson listened to the podcast, so his grandson. I believe
Speaker 1: it's his grandson. If it's his nephew, I apologize, but
Speaker 1: believe it's his grandson. And uh is the p A announcer,
Speaker 1: the public address announcer for City Field with the Mets play,
Speaker 1: so he's the one who goes battering seventh and he
Speaker 1: does like when the players come up with walk up music,
Speaker 1: he's the guy who announces them. So right, So we
Speaker 1: did a story on the Morning Show that I gave
Speaker 1: Elvis for the for the New York News that we
Speaker 1: do in the Bonus hour, but just for you a
Speaker 1: hundred that while there's no baseball, he's doing walk up
Speaker 1: intros for kids, first responders, anyone who asks him. But
Speaker 1: he but he's he's doing them for everything. That's awesome
Speaker 1: him and and he said first responders are playing them
Speaker 1: as their ring tones and it cheers them up at work.
Speaker 1: So I tweeted him and I said, hey, man, we're
Speaker 1: doing the story tomorrow on the Morning Show. You should
Speaker 1: tune in. We're gonna talk about you. I'm a big
Speaker 1: Mets fan. I haven't met him yet because I was
Speaker 1: good I was good friends with his predecessor, Alex Anthony,
Speaker 1: and he's the new guy. I haven't met him yet,
Speaker 1: but you know you and I you and I know
Speaker 1: Veto and all the people in the Mets organization who
Speaker 1: handled the scoreboard and all the all the audio and
Speaker 1: music in the game. But I haven't met this guy yet, Colin.
Speaker 1: So I said, hey, just tune into the show. So
Speaker 1: he tweets me back and he says, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I grew up listening to you guys. I love you guys.
Speaker 1: I'm so honored that you reached out. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to hear it. Anyway, So he asked me what I wanted,
Speaker 1: and he said, I want to do one for you,
Speaker 1: and he banged it out, and so I got one
Speaker 1: for the show for Elvis, which we played on the air. Yeah. Right,
Speaker 1: And then I wrote something for him to do and
Speaker 1: this is another clip he did. Play it now about
Speaker 1: it trying his best to play right field and the
Speaker 1: reason the National League wants the d H number five
Speaker 1: scary joes, that's awesome. What am I batting there? Uh?
Speaker 1: You're you're I don't know, I don't whatever. He said,
Speaker 1: it was bad, all right, Well listen and you're batting
Speaker 1: clean up. You're adding clean up. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you tried to brody scary me and back before me.
Speaker 1: You bastard. No, no, no, no no, you're the number
Speaker 1: three hitter. You're a you're a you're a gotta be
Speaker 1: left your lefty. I'm righty. So the point is you're
Speaker 1: terrible in right field. So I wrote the joke about
Speaker 1: trying to play right field. But how great is that intro?
Speaker 1: That is awesome. I love that. That's a nice surprise.
Speaker 1: Now I have a surprise for you. Now hold on.
Speaker 1: You can put any Beastie Boys music or whatever you
Speaker 1: want under that. You can put any music you want. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you could also edit out the part about not playing
Speaker 1: being the d H whatever. You can chop that up.
Speaker 1: You have a surprise for me, Yes, I do you.
Speaker 1: You watching a Too Hot to Handle on Netflix. It's
Speaker 1: one of the top three most downloaded shows. Uh no,
Speaker 1: you may not be. That's not my style. I'm watching
Speaker 1: the Michael Jordan's show. One of the stars in that
Speaker 1: show is this girl from Ireland, Nicole O'Brien. Anyway, she
Speaker 1: has a cameo and I figured half for thirty dollars,
Speaker 1: it's worth every penny, so I had her do a
Speaker 1: message for us. This is a video message, but here's
Speaker 1: the audio portion. I'll try to visit you in NYC.
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, it's Nicole O'Brien of Netflix is Too Hot
Speaker 1: to Handle and you're listening to the Brooklyn Boys podcast.
Speaker 1: With Scary and Brody the okay, you like that. What's
Speaker 1: the point about the beginning where she's a'll visit you
Speaker 1: in New York? Did you edit? Oh? Yeah, she was
Speaker 1: telling She was saying that she's gonna visit us when
Speaker 1: she's when she's here, I don't want to see her now.
Speaker 1: She said, your name for ust it's Brodyan Scary. You
Speaker 1: spent thirty dollars scary. How much do you charge for
Speaker 1: your cameos? Right? You charge more than her? And I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be excited that she did an I d
Speaker 1: for us? Did you get and do something nice that
Speaker 1: was fine? Did you get Atison right podcast? Did you
Speaker 1: get Atison right from TikTok to do it for you? No,
Speaker 1: but that would be a get Let me tell you.
Speaker 1: We have some more saying, okay, you have a couple
Speaker 1: of songs you want to play because I know that well, Well, dude,
Speaker 1: every five minutes, I get a notification about Kim John
Speaker 1: Kim Jong. Yeah, so Kim Jong. Yeah, we don't know.
Speaker 1: At this point, I don't know when you're listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast. So if you're listening in July and he's alive,
Speaker 1: don't tweet us. But at the moment when I wrote this,
Speaker 1: we did not know what his status was. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to tell you there's one or two lines I'm
Speaker 1: not happy with as far as the mix. There's one
Speaker 1: in the line about China and Japan. Whatever. Here's the
Speaker 1: song I wrote, and I apologize you have any questions
Speaker 1: with the lyrics, I'll tell you what it was. But um,
Speaker 1: I didn't have time to have the single redo it.
Speaker 1: But anyway, here it is, hit it. This is my
Speaker 1: bon chon Jovi. We have not Kim tell those face
Speaker 1: for days April plug surgery. Now there's no news either
Speaker 1: way Japan and jealousy that he's dead. All run the
Speaker 1: break until with no for Shore who was should with?
Speaker 1: Think where's the surgeon? If he's smarty, you'll go and hide.
Speaker 1: It's Kim John Jam Joe dead, all Lave? Is he dead?
Speaker 1: All lad? That's great? Thank you, brilliant. Now the same
Speaker 1: guy who's sang that for me sang the next thing
Speaker 1: you're gonna hear. But I want to read a text
Speaker 1: message first and again, can't stress enough. People are doing
Speaker 1: a great job out there, uh delivering food and um,
Speaker 1: you know, working jobs that are important to the economy.
Speaker 1: Truck drivers are risking their lives delivering love you guys,
Speaker 1: but um and and what they do may be heroic.
Speaker 1: It may be, but as far as heroes, people for
Speaker 1: the most part are saying that the medical professionals are
Speaker 1: the heroes out there because they're basically sticking their face
Speaker 1: in people's faces who have viruses, trying to keep them alive,
Speaker 1: trying to comfort them. Uh And So the people who
Speaker 1: have been asking for shoutouts, some of them have gotten
Speaker 1: more and more. You've gotta be kidding me, Like the
Speaker 1: guy at the water treatment plant, the guy at to
Speaker 1: car dealership, Like at some point, right, so we got
Speaker 1: this text message and I could be wrong or this
Speaker 1: guy could be I don't know. He says tons of
Speaker 1: respect and appreciation to medical personnel and first responders. However,
Speaker 1: so many of these award categories uh and and compliments
Speaker 1: wouldn't be possible without the Internet. How about a shout
Speaker 1: out to the heroes and communications the lineman out here
Speaker 1: making the show and everyone's netflix possible. And porn now,
Speaker 1: I give you the porn thing, but scary, what would
Speaker 1: you say in the grand scheme of things people keeping
Speaker 1: the Internet going? Uh? Making sure that your connection works.
Speaker 1: Would you say they're heroes or would you say, hey, man,
Speaker 1: thanks nice job. I would just say hey, thanks, thanks
Speaker 1: for doing what you're doing. Keep on, keep on doing
Speaker 1: it well. I wrote a little song for you. Here
Speaker 1: it goes. You are not hero baby, You are just
Speaker 1: doing a job. You are not. No thing about your
Speaker 1: job has changed. Some of us just need the thing. Weary,
Speaker 1: I'm tearing up, you're gonna cry. Well, what about straight
Speaker 1: date on the phone the other day from you know
Speaker 1: on during the Big Show, trying to talk to this
Speaker 1: lady off the ledge because she was arguing that we
Speaker 1: refuse to say thank you to the kids, the kids
Speaker 1: going through homeschooling heroes, that they're heroes, they are heroes.
Speaker 1: And Nate was just trying to let get this woman
Speaker 1: off the phone because she insisted that she gets on
Speaker 1: the air and Elvis acknowledges that the kids are heroes. Well,
Speaker 1: you know what, kids, you are not a hero baby.
Speaker 1: You are just doing your job as a kid learning
Speaker 1: being homeschooled. I can only speak for firsthand experience. My
Speaker 1: kids are loving the home school thing. They don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about what they're wearing, they eat whatever they
Speaker 1: want because we have the food they want in the house.
Speaker 1: They run to the bathroom when they want, They're on
Speaker 1: TikTok during class if they want, they're having a You know,
Speaker 1: it's boring for them, some of it, But I wouldn't
Speaker 1: call it heroic. I just think again that words being
Speaker 1: thrown around, thrown around. Ah, what's this clip about four
Speaker 1: or sixteen? You play this one? Oh? Um? Yeah, let
Speaker 1: me let um. Okay, So this is I believe this
Speaker 1: is a doctor Gupta on CNN. He's one of these gods. No, no,
Speaker 1: I think it's a different Yeah, Sanja Gupta. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it's Gupta anyway. So you know how sometimes like people
Speaker 1: will talk like conference room speak, like hey, put a
Speaker 1: pin and that will circle back to it. Uh. I
Speaker 1: hate that right, So in one sentence, I want you
Speaker 1: to listen to all the words he used instead of
Speaker 1: normal words. Go ahead, undertaking. We need modern tech to
Speaker 1: help us, and that tech exists. We just need to
Speaker 1: package it in a way let's user friendly. And I'm
Speaker 1: harden to hear the innovation is happening. We just need
Speaker 1: to really marshal that. We need the federal response to
Speaker 1: amplify it. Okay, so he wants to package it. It's tech.
Speaker 1: He wants us to marshal it and package it. What
Speaker 1: does it even mean? Well, listen to it again, listen
Speaker 1: to all the spin he's putting on this. I think
Speaker 1: what he's trying to say is we need to we
Speaker 1: need to use it, we need to make more of it,
Speaker 1: and uh, we need to get people motivated to make it.
Speaker 1: But whatever you're taking, we need modern tech to help us,
Speaker 1: and that tech exists. We just need to package it
Speaker 1: in a way let's user friendly. And I'm hardened to
Speaker 1: hear that innovation is happening. We just need to really
Speaker 1: marshal that. We need the federal response to amplify it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so he's heartened. He can't just be happy. He's heartened,
Speaker 1: and he wants to He wants it marshaled and he
Speaker 1: wants it packaged. Yeah, just say it's just talk, man,
Speaker 1: Just just say you want the federal govern to freaking
Speaker 1: get No, he's gotta watch his words. So I listen.
Speaker 1: I had to back that one up. I'm like, wait
Speaker 1: a minute, you're gonna back that ass up. Speaking of words,
Speaker 1: I told you about my friend who constantly texts me
Speaker 1: the wrong Your and every once in a while he
Speaker 1: says I could care less, and I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: have it in me to say and correct him because
Speaker 1: we don't have that kind of relationship. So this week
Speaker 1: in a conversation, he said, irregardless of that, I can't scary. Yeah, irregardless.
Speaker 1: That's bad. The word is regardless. You don't need to
Speaker 1: add an error. Yeah, it already has that built into
Speaker 1: the regardless part. And I almost broke. I almost was like,
Speaker 1: I'm trapped in my house and you're saying it regardless.
Speaker 1: I mean, how much more can I take? We also
Speaker 1: have one one email that I just want to get
Speaker 1: to here that you may want to comment on here.
Speaker 1: This is interesting, last one on while you were doing that,
Speaker 1: I want to make sure there's nothing, no screenshots that
Speaker 1: have to be read today, So go ahead. I have
Speaker 1: a couple. Well, well, this was from a person who
Speaker 1: doesn't want their name on the podcast. Oh so this
Speaker 1: is the first time you haven't actually said the name right,
Speaker 1: although the name is printed at the top of the
Speaker 1: damn email. Please don't use my name. Started zero Slice
Speaker 1: for Life working hard on the front lines during COVID
Speaker 1: enjoying the podcast for a nice escape, Um, I can
Speaker 1: what is this saying? Oh boy, First of all, they're
Speaker 1: disappointing you that you did not push back on the
Speaker 1: bat hatred. They're upset that I'm upset that the fruit
Speaker 1: bat is on the American Quarter for the year. For
Speaker 1: some background, I work for an environmental agency and bats
Speaker 1: are fantastic animals that are in big trouble right now.
Speaker 1: Their population numbers are drastically reducing here in North America
Speaker 1: due to what is called white nose syndrome. Not going
Speaker 1: into go if that sounds racist right there, Yeah, white
Speaker 1: nose because here comes, here comes. It's destroying their population numbers,
Speaker 1: and the disease is not a threat to humans. We
Speaker 1: have been getting calls at my agency from people wanting
Speaker 1: to kill bats when they see them, just for existing
Speaker 1: bat's species here in the Northeast mostly eat insects, with
Speaker 1: one little brown bat capable of eating a thousand mosquitoes
Speaker 1: and arrow an hour. Fruit bats and nectar eating bats
Speaker 1: that scary was so horrified by pollinate an incredible amount
Speaker 1: of plants and crops, crops such as mangoes, bananas, blew agave,
Speaker 1: and countless others. If you're horrified by bats, stop drinking
Speaker 1: tequila because without bats, tequila would not exist. Comes from
Speaker 1: the agave plant. I understand it's a tough time, but
Speaker 1: just as we should not hate monkeys and chimps because
Speaker 1: of the AIDS crisis or vilified cows when mad cow
Speaker 1: disease was a threat, we should not blame bats for
Speaker 1: COVID nineteen. That's already have had a bad rap. So hate,
Speaker 1: so hate. Hearing some of my favorite podcasts pile on
Speaker 1: the hate. Anyway, stays safe and hope the snowflake jingle
Speaker 1: doesn't play in your head when you read this. Oh
Speaker 1: it's not. It's not gonna gonna play in my head.
Speaker 1: Scary play it. You're a slice for life. But come
Speaker 1: on now, come on now, please crazy, Okay, now listen
Speaker 1: here because she just slice for life. I don't want
Speaker 1: to who I said she you're being a snowflake. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't want to say she's a she. My apologies
Speaker 1: to marry Ane, to Tufo uh in Long Island. You know, listen, No, no,
Speaker 1: we have love and respect for everybody, but some times no, no,
Speaker 1: I look, she loves bats. I get it. She's batshit crazy.
Speaker 1: I get it. She's not bat crazy. She doesn't want
Speaker 1: me to be batchy easy because I'm giving a giving
Speaker 1: bats a bad name. By the way, I have to
Speaker 1: write there for next week. You ye, bats a bad
Speaker 1: even Listen, she may have bats in her belfry for
Speaker 1: all I know. Uh, nobody was saying kill bats. We
Speaker 1: just said having a bat on a coin. It's not
Speaker 1: good timing considering that possibly this may have started from
Speaker 1: someone in a wet market eating an infected bat. That's
Speaker 1: not the bat's fault. But you know what, bees are
Speaker 1: very popular? Am I right? Am I wrong? Be's a
Speaker 1: popularlar and not popular. They're important, They're important to humanity.
Speaker 1: They they they pollinated flowers. I get it. Yes, Okay,
Speaker 1: they're cute. Uh great, But if one's on your kitchen table,
Speaker 1: you might try to kill it. If there's a whole
Speaker 1: nest in your house, you might try to kill it.
Speaker 1: So they serve a purpose, you know, well, serves a
Speaker 1: purpose shock server purpose. But if I see one in
Speaker 1: the ocean, I'm gonna try to kill it if it's
Speaker 1: trying to kill me. Now, I'm not going shock hunting.
Speaker 1: But I could say I hate shots and I'm not,
Speaker 1: so I'm not trying to take a bat to a bat, Right,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to point out that it is the
Speaker 1: timing is is inconvenient, and it's a terrible coincidence. Of
Speaker 1: course everybody's favorite. It's coincidence. It's coincidence. Oh but I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not bat hating, I'm not bat shaming. No,
Speaker 1: you're not bad, Sam, I'm not trying to tell people.
Speaker 1: And by the way, people are predisposed to do what
Speaker 1: they're gonna do to whoever, whenever, whatever. No people are
Speaker 1: going out on a podcast to say anything about anything.
Speaker 1: For you to take action on something that you're predisposed
Speaker 1: to take action on whatever you And again I'm not
Speaker 1: saying anyone as a back killer listening to this podcast,
Speaker 1: but but me having an opinion about the ill timing
Speaker 1: American quarter bat tale pandemic that was potentially started by
Speaker 1: a bat is just something that is it had to
Speaker 1: be addressed. But isn't ill timing. A Beastie Boys album
Speaker 1: license failed timing is another? Yeah, play the snow flake
Speaker 1: jingle out of Love? All right, speaking of irony and coincidence,
Speaker 1: are done with that. I don't know. She may not
Speaker 1: listen to us anymore. So I was watching the news,
Speaker 1: and the reporter was doing a story, and she said,
Speaker 1: a hundred year old man died from coronavirus. Very sad.
Speaker 1: A hundred years ago. He had he had a twin,
Speaker 1: and the twin died of the Spanish flute. And a
Speaker 1: Spanish flu was nineteen eighteen, unless you listen to the
Speaker 1: president who confuses it with the movie nineteen seventeen and
Speaker 1: keeps saying nineteen seventeen. Uh. And the reporter says, wow,
Speaker 1: isn't that ironic. No, it's not ironic. It's a shitty
Speaker 1: coincidence that his twin brother died in eighteen uh from
Speaker 1: from coronavirus, and he's dying in in from Uh. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that he died from the Spanish flu, which, by
Speaker 1: the way, has nothing to do with Spain. Uh. It
Speaker 1: wasn't from Spain. Go look that up, um, But it's
Speaker 1: it's it's not ironic that they both died. It's a
Speaker 1: shitty coincidence. Um. Speaking of the pandemic, I one one
Speaker 1: thing I want to read and then we can talk.
Speaker 1: We can talk about how next week we're gonna talk
Speaker 1: about how you tried to s your own d um.
Speaker 1: There's a you can look up New Belgium underscore a
Speaker 1: vl okay. I'm assuming that stands for Asheville. So there's
Speaker 1: a town called Asheville, which I think is in the South,
Speaker 1: and they have cans of beer called stay Home Beer,
Speaker 1: and it says stay Home on the can, which is
Speaker 1: a way to remind people to stay home and stay
Speaker 1: safe during quarantine. Right, here's what the caption of stay
Speaker 1: Home Beer is. Come and get it well at Barami
Speaker 1: Brewery Company and Archetype Brewering. Come Pity West, Asheville's location. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we're offering curbside pickup from twelve to eight. It's called
Speaker 1: stay Home. The beer is called stay Home and you're
Speaker 1: telling me I hit the music scary. It's telling me
Speaker 1: I have to come to the store and pick it
Speaker 1: up curbside. And yet it's called it's called stay Home beer.
Speaker 1: It's very name tells you what to do to encourage
Speaker 1: people to stay home. They've made a beer that forces
Speaker 1: you to go out and pick it up. It might
Speaker 1: as well be called don't wear a face mask beer.
Speaker 1: It might be called stand close to strangers all day beer?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Stay Home Beer? So f you
Speaker 1: Asheville and f you archetype Bahmi brewing companies in West Asheville.
Speaker 1: Because you're Asholes. Wow, the Ashles too, Yes, because when
Speaker 1: we were born in Brooklyn, DA Boys Brooklyn, Brooklyn, dah
Speaker 1: Boys Brock Brooklyn,