WEBVTT - Vows and Voyages | Golden Hour 0:00:07.040 --> 0:00:10.600 Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.360 much for joining us. We are so excited to be back. 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:15.080 How are you doing Today's is this? 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:17.919 I'm doing fabulous at a house ful yesterday. 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:21.640 I'm telling you, you know you entertained more than anyone 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:25.360 I know. Well I'm home, Yeah, well this is true. 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:27.319 And when I'm home I just want to sit in 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:29.480 front of the TV and watch Netflix a needle point. 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:31.680 I don't know, I don't know. I want to. I'm 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:33.640 getting ready to travel again. Do you want to travel 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:34.000 some more? 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:37.559 I think I am. Actually yes, I'm going to be 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:41.360 traveling through September. It's been a great summer. Although I 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:44.120 hardly got to use the pool. I clean it. I 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.920 actually got in it this weekend with my granddaughter. But today, 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:49.760 of course, we're going to be answering more of our 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:52.880 fan questions and make sure you keep them coming because 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:55.520 we love this. You know what to do. Just go 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:59.440 to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:01.040 because that's what we're here for. 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:04.880 I mean, you gotta have questions. Susan and I have 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:09.560 been traveling. We took cruises, Susan's had her mister wonderful 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:13.520 visiting her. You know, I'm off to Canada. 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:16.640 I mean time Kathy in the United States. 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:19.720 You know, come on, people, you must have questions or 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:22.240 comments about this, and since you do, we want you 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:25.680 to send them all to us. It's very easy. You 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:29.319 can either dm us on Instagram a Bachelor Happy Hour, 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.920 or you can go to Bachelor nation dot com. Let's go. 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:32.640 You can do it. 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:36.000 Good. Yes, we look forward to it. Okay, time to 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:39.319 get into the episode, and we're going to start with 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:43.120 the question of the day. What advice do you have 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:46.960 two people that have been in a long term relationship 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:50.760 since they were very young and are starting to wonder 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:53.000 if they need to explore. 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:56.360 Can I tell you what the operative word in that 0:01:56.520 --> 0:02:01.320 question is relationship? Because you know, I was married out 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:06.320 of the cradle. You're a person, get the right person. 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:10.080 I was married. My birthday is May ninth, and I 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:14.040 was married May nineteenth, and I had my twentieth birthday, 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.320 so ten days after I turned twenty, I got married. 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:19.880 And I was married for almost forty six years. So 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:22.799 were there times in my life that I thought, oh 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:26.280 my god, I was so young to get married. Yes, 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:30.720 but I believed in my marriage and loved my husband. 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:31.920 So you know, I you. 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:35.840 Were very very fortunate. I was. Relationships that start out 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:38.359 and they think they're getting married after college. They made 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:41.960 it through college, and a lot of times they don't. 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:47.800 As they mature, they find their separate ways. Unfortunately, you 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:52.480 are very very lucky today's world. I don't think as 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.639 many that started very young making. 0:02:57.360 --> 0:02:59.639 Yeah, I mean, I guess I agree with that. I 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:03.239 sometimes it can be aged, sometimes it can be other circumstances. 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:07.560 But I do think with your advice to somebody young, 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:09.480 you know. 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.519 You're asked you and I've actually talked about. Isn't it 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.320 funny that you and I that's how well we know 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:18.640 each other. We've talked about some of these things. When 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:24.080 young people tell me that they're moving in together to me, 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:27.040 and I know I'm going to sound old. When they 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:32.519 move in together, theoretically they're sharing the bills, they're sharing experiences, 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:37.120 they're not dating other people. They're monogamous, or they've agreed 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:40.720 to not be monogamous, whatever it is. It's it's almost 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:44.560 like a committed marriage or a committed relationship. 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:45.200 Oh, it is. 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:46.320 It is right. 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:49.200 Some people like to try before they take. 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:52.920 Don't you think it's just as hard to get out 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:56.080 of that relationship as it is to get out of 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:56.800 a marriage. 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:02.040 I mean, probably yes, But a lot of people don't 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:04.800 agree with people living together before they get married. And 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:07.200 that's going back in time too. But I think it's 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:11.720 important that you see how they live while living together. 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.120 Some things might be deal breakers anybody. 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.800 I think it's I agree, Susan. But I guess what 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.840 I'm asking you is I was married, So I can't 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:22.880 answer this question. I don't think and you were married. 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:26.039 I don't think you lived with anyone. But if you're 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:28.920 living with someone and let's just say you've lived them 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.080 for a year and a half, I think it would 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:35.480 be almost as difficult to get your friends together and say, hey, 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:40.680 guess what, Johnny and I are splitting up. It's like 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.680 a breakup of a marriage. It's shooting a house. Who 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:44.520 gets the dog? 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:47.680 Yeah, that's a big one too. But what there is 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:52.240 do they need to explore? Are we going to advise 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:55.880 people that have only been with one person to explore 0:04:56.520 --> 0:05:00.800 before committing Yeah? I am, and you didn't. 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:02.960 I didn't. 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:04.679 Why do you feel that way? 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:09.120 Because I think you know hindsight's twenty twenty. I was 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:13.200 very lucky with Darryl. He was kind, he was a 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:14.320 smarty given. 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.119 But you're advising. 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:19.800 Because I just said because I was very lucky. I 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:24.000 think people mature and change so much in their twenties. 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:25.800 You know, I used to be I used to work 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.960 in the middle school, and I used to say, of 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.080 the fifth gradeers that were trying to figure out a 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:33.279 high school for their kids, I said, listen, the kids 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.880 you have in fifth grade, you're not even going to 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:38.680 recognize that kid in eighth grade, because that's how much 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:41.279 they change in middle school. It's the same thing I 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:45.159 feel about people they get into relationships in their twenties, 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:46.440 especially change. 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:48.799 Men mature later than women. 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.920 I think women change a lot too. They people, They 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:57.839 their career goals, their aspirations, their interests, their desire to travel, 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:01.720 the their desire to try on new personalities and new 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:05.599 ways of living. So much changes in the twenties. I 0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:07.760 don't think people know who they are really until they're 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:09.040 close to thirty. 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.679 But if they've already in a long term relationship since 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:18.080 they've been younger and starting to wonder if they need 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:22.880 their starting to wonder if somebody's starting to wonder if 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:27.080 she should explore more things prior to before this big 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:32.000 day comes that you say I do. Then if they're 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:35.560 already thinking that, I would think, yes. Oh, you know 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.600 how some people go to college, Kathy, and they were 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:41.400 together all through high school and they separate through college. 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:43.640 They'll see each other when they come home, but they're 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:47.400 allowed to date other people. That's, you know, exploring. I 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:50.479 don't know that I could have handled that, but that's 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:53.919 when you find out is he really the one? You know? 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:57.479 Yeah? I think you have to kiss a lot of frogs, 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.279 try it a lot outfits, you know, use any the 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:05.040 expression you want. I think it's very rare that someone 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.520 gets it right when they're twenty two years of age. 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:11.280 I think, you know, late twenties, twenty six, twenty seven, 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.040 twenty eight, you start to know who you are, but 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:15.200 not when you're twenty twenty one, twenty two. 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:19.080 And don't you agree, nowadays it is much later than 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:20.560 it was when we were young. 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:22.560 You know. And why do you think that is? 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:24.080 They're smarter? 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:24.400 Not? 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:28.440 Probably because they're education so expensive you can't afford you 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:31.480 got to pay. You're still at your mother's at thirty 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:32.840 like that. 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:36.160 I think that's partly it. I also think that people 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:41.480 have the resources to travel more, change jobs more. We're 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:45.080 just a much more mobile, more mobile society. You know, 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.280 you don't marry the guy from your hometown too much 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.600 anymore because you're out seeing the world. I think that 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:53.560 all of those things contribute to making a person not 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:54.520 necessarily ready. 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.160 My advice, I wouldn't want you to cheat on your man, 0:07:57.240 --> 0:08:01.320 but you should have had other relationships and you compare 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:04.640 how they make you feel, how happy you are with 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.720 this one or this one. Just like our show when 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:11.720 we did The Bachelor, how does that person feel when 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:14.120 they're with this one or they're with this one and 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:17.560 coming down to that big decision might be the hardest 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:18.680 thing they've ever had to do. 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:22.440 You know, it's funny you said that. You're absolutely right. 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:26.000 It's funny you just said that, Susan, because there's actually 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.920 it's sort of like an equal equation people in their 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:32.240 early years, you know, let's call it twenty to thirty. 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.520 I think should try on a lot of different relationships 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:37.520 and a lot of different experiences. And you know what 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:41.160 I think, when you're dating, let's call it fifty five 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:44.000 sixty and over the same thing. Don't jump into the 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:47.120 first relationship. If you're divorced or a widow or widower, 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:50.480 you know, try on, you've changed since you were in 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:53.680 that permanent relationship. Trying, I mean, that is the question 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:55.040 of the day. But it just made me think. 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.800 Of things that were so important to you might have 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:01.880 changed for sure. That's right, you know, that's right. 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.280 All right? Are you ready to get in some fan questions? Here? 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.280 Let's do it? All right, here we go. Here's the 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:11.320 first one. It's from anonymous ladies. I am so angry 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.480 right now. I don't know what to do. This past 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.640 weekend was my best friend's wedding, let's call her Amy. 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:21.160 As we were all standing there listening to Amy's vows, 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:24.280 there was not a dry eye in the place. It 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:29.600 was so beautiful. Her now husband, however, Yeah, it was 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:33.880 the most crude, horrid thing I've ever heard of, making 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:37.439 sex jokes, talking about how we'll still love her even 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:43.600 when she quote goes downhill, et cetera. No one laughed 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:47.160 except for the groom's dad. Everyone else did that very 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:52.360 uncomfortable laugh to fill the painful silence. Now she's married 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.720 and on her honeymoon. You guys know how weddings go. 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:58.400 She was so busy, we didn't have time to sit 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:01.439 and talk, so I have no idea how she feels. 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.760 Can I bring this up the next time I see her? 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:08.600 What do I do? I'm so angry for her. I've 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:11.880 never seen this kind of behavior in him. Thanks, ladies. 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:16.120 Well, first of all, I think she knew who she 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:19.720 was marrying. I mean, that wasn't the first time he 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:24.600 was sarcastic or crude or rude. And maybe she took 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:28.200 it funny. You know, he did say even when she 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.679 goes downhill that he'd still love her like that was 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.800 just his humor. I get it that the audience was 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:37.360 not in favor of this, except for his father, who 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:38.640 shares the same humor. 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.280 I guess, you know. 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:44.719 As far as bringing it up, I don't know. I 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:47.840 don't know. If she wants to talk about it, then fine, 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:49.000 you can let her know. 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:53.840 But Susan, wait, did you just hear that? What the 0:10:53.880 --> 0:11:01.880 world just cracked? Why? Because we agreed? Oh? I absolutely? 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.640 I couldn't agree with you more. Seriously, I'm so angry 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:07.840 for her, sweetheart, Anonymous, you don't get to be angry 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.400 for her for her hermit, it's not her, it's her 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:14.040 If she's not angry mazel toks. Let her live her life, 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:16.920 you live yours. Don't worry about it. You know, if 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:20.520 Susan's exactly right, if she brings it up and says, 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:24.400 what the hell was wrong with that guy? You could say, 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:27.040 I know, wasn't it terrible? You can pour each other 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:29.800 a big glass of wine and commiserate that she married 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:33.880 this fool who speaks crassly to his wife, his now wife. 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:40.080 I mean, obviously, if it were my friends, yeah, let's say, 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.240 were you okay with that? Like? I thought it was 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.400 funny because we know and love him, but. 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:47.640 Okay, if the world just got to say together, if 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:52.120 you had to say something and it's your best friend, no, 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.760 that was pretty funny, make light of it. 0:11:56.000 --> 0:12:01.679 I would say, Susan, if you got married and your 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:05.280 now husband made a really crass thing, you know what, 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:07.600 I'd be sitting This is the thing people think. 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:09.439 You know me, He wouldn't not because I would have 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:10.120 called him. 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:12.480 On it right then and there. You're right, But but 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:15.959 just just in you know, generically a friend, let's say 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:19.960 I would I probably would feel very sorry for my 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:23.280 friend for the embarrassment that I would feel. But you 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:26.680 know what that would be the embarrassment I'm feeling, not 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:30.559 necessarily the embarrassment she's feeling. And if everyone in the 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:34.559 room was embarrassed, so be it. The point is she's 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.240 now married. If she brings it up, if you, if 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:39.959 this happened to you or Nancy or Joan or anyone, 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.520 and they brought it up to me, then I shall say, 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.080 we talk about it, and I would take my lead 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:50.200 from them. If they were upset about it, you know, 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:50.800 then I. 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.319 Was asking us, do I bring it up? 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.640 No? You do not. Let's say it together, Susan. 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:01.560 No, No, stay in your own lane, in your own girl. 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:07.439 I love it how you do say something, or or 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:11.480 if your best friend says something really curious to see. 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.840 And even the bride's mother, like I would love to 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:16.760 know her thoughts. 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:17.560 Do you know what I mean? 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:19.880 Because she used to the guy too. 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.160 But when she comes back from her honeymoon, you know, 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:25.760 don't ask her about the sex and how many times 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:27.839 a day they had it. Wait for her to tell 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.000 you about the wedding, because if she was upset, she's 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:31.080 going to get down to it. 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:34.719 Definitely, definitely send us to d M. Please, I mean, 0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:37.040 even we want, don't do it on air. We're just curious. 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.200 Yeah we will. If you don't want us to report back, 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:41.680 we won't, but just we want to know for our 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:51.000 inquiring minds want to know. We do. 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:53.600 And thanks for writing into us. That was really a 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:57.000 good one. All right, we have one more, Kathy Anonymous 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:01.760 rights ladies. I need your help. My boyfriend cannot get 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:04.960 a good picture of me to save his life. What 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.720 do I do? I really don't want to sound like 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:10.199 a diva when I talk to him, but. 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:17.040 The picks he gets are policle. We have so many 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.200 trips lined up for the rest of the year and 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:21.040 I want those few picks. 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.480 How can I get him to do this for me 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:28.880 without sounding annoying? He has little to no social media presence, 0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:31.520 so he doesn't really get it. I'm not worried about 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.840 him judging me. I just feel a little weird bringing 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:38.640 this up. Lol. Thanks ladies, Well why do you feel 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:40.880 weird if he can't? What is he doing wrong with 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:44.760 the pictures? Like teach him, educate the man, or go 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:45.760 buy a selfie stick. 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:51.320 Okay, so you know what my answer to this is. 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:54.080 I knew that's where you're going to go. Because all 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:56.920 for those of you when Susan and I recently were 0:14:56.960 --> 0:15:00.920 on a cruise. You know, we're sitting there, I'm studying 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.760 the acropolist. Susan's turning her head the perfect way to 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:07.320 get the perfect picture, and you know, angling her body. Whatever. 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:14.320 Here's my answer, I think you are making a huge mistake. Girlfriend. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.200 Enjoy the time, live in the moment with your boyfriend. 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:22.840 Who cares if it's a perfect pick. Have the perfect 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.240 experience with your boyfriend. Those memories are going to live 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.240 in your heart and your mind a lot longer than 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:33.040 the perfect angle standing in front cupping the sunset. You 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:33.600 know what I mean? 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.560 I do, I do? But if she has a job 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:40.080 or something in her career that she needs these picks. 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.880 Befo, she don't say that. I think she's a social 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:48.040 media like so many people today who live their lives 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:52.640 are what they depict of themselves on social. 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.680 Seeing my social media pages, a lot of ugly picks 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:56.160 out there. 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.040 I know. But you on our recent trips and you 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.840 took a c upload of pictures. People would Susan will say, 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.920 take another one, take another one. I'd say take one 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:07.240 and I'm done, Like I just want to right, You're like, 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.440 how do I stand? But for one picture. I don't 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:14.320 need a hundred pictures. But I think it's everyone to themselves, 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:15.840 each to them change to their. 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:18.920 Own I not having the pictures. I hear what she's saying. 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:22.800 I do too, But I would encourage her to think 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:28.000 about enjoying the time with your boyfriend, making the memories 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.520 in person and lodging those in your brain. And I 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:34.120 know it's a thing now, everyone wants the perfect social 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:35.400 media pages and all that. 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.440 I just what she's saying. Okay, she feels a little 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:42.160 weird about bringing it up. Obviously it is something to her. 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:44.680 So what she needs from us. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.440 She needs to teach them. You're right, Yes, you sit 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.360 there like like Susan will say to me, don't. 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:52.720 Stand yourself in the square. You get the feet and 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:54.560 the head and center. 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:56.720 And then tilt the camera. This one, you tilt the 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:58.920 You know what. He here's one for you. If he 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:02.080 has an iPhone, he can take a class at the 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.320 local Apple store in using his iPhone there. And I 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:08.200 want a new Apple phone for this advertisement. But seriously, 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:11.800 you can take free classes at your at an Apple 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:13.800 store and they'll tell you how to make the most 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:16.960 of your iPhone and how to take the best pictures. 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.440 As you know, we had to film certain things. When 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:23.360 we do things and you get the new self it's 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:25.440 not just a selfie stick like back in the day. 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:27.919 There's so much out there. You set it up, you 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:31.160 get your pictures done, and then stop, get it over 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:33.480 with and then go enjoy your time with him. 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:37.320 Yeah, but I think I'm just making the point. Some 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:41.480 people prefer to have the perfect pictures, and I'd prefer 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.439 to have the perfect experience. That's all. And so, but 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:47.480 I hear you, Anonymous, and I think you need to 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.600 teach him. He can research it online, he can google it, 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:53.480 he can there's all kinds of ways to learn to 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:55.919 be a better picture taker. But if he's like me, 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:59.000 you know what he's going to say, Yeah, it's good enough. 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:01.920 And you know what, is it a deal breaker for you? Maybe? 0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:05.800 I hope not, No, I hope, But you know, the 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:09.280 best trips with your boyfriend. I hope you have the 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.440 best trips. I envy those trips coming up. 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.720 And Kathy, you know what, I you delete that one. 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.240 You're not going to put a bad one. You get it. 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:21.080 I mean, think about those things. She's wants a good picture. 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:24.120 I get it. I get it. But I'm just trying 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:25.640 to get her to enjoy the trips. 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:28.520 And I know, I know, but definitely to teach him 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:29.520 what he's doing wrong. 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.439 Yeah that's all. Yeah, let us know, have fun on 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:35.240 those trips. Send us photographs, send us you know, we 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:38.119 want to hear all about those trips. Okay, we're going 0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:42.080 to move into our Golden spotlight, where we just discuss 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:47.399 something that is affecting the Golden community. Today's Golden spotlight 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.520 is all about agism, something I know a lot about. 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.560 There are so many stereotypes and judgments that young people 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:59.399 knowingly and unknowingly throw at golden's. What are some of 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.000 those things that you pick up on? How do they 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:05.600 make you feel? How did you handle moments of agism now? 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.040 And what would you say to those that are ages? 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.320 I got to give one right off the bat. When 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:17.479 I was filming Bachelor in Paradise. Constantly the young ones 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.679 they were like, you know, go whatever with me. They're like, 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:24.320 be careful, you know, if the deck is wet, be careful. 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:26.400 Can I help you into the pool, Like get your 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:30.720 hands off me. Uh. You know, it was constant, like 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:33.040 we have to be careful of the older ones, you know. 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:37.919 Because I think that's a nice thing, though, because. 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:38.960 Why are they looking out, Susan. 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:41.119 Why because we're older. 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:44.480 That's agism. You look out for everyone's safe. 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:48.359 So you would prefer people not to the door for you. 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:52.400 No, that's different. That's no. One is chivalry when you 0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:57.040 if it. If the deck is slippery, and and you've 0:19:57.040 --> 0:20:00.479 got young ones and old ones getting on a boat okay, 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:04.080 or walking through the bar, and it's been raining, so 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:07.720 the deck around the pool is slippery, it's wet. If 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:12.720 you have people holding your arm, be careful, Susan, it's slippery. 0:20:13.080 --> 0:20:15.560 Oh thanks, And the twenty four year old is right 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:19.040 behind you walking, No one's offering her hand. 0:20:19.520 --> 0:20:22.280 That is age to appreciate it. 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:24.959 It's not a matter whether you appreciate it. It's agism. 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:29.400 It's treating you differently because of your age, but in. 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:31.320 A good way. 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:31.879 Not to me. 0:20:33.040 --> 0:20:36.320 Well, not everybody's as strong and as healthy as you are, 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:41.040 so you keep an open mind with most people. I 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:44.439 don't feel like i'm that that old yet, but I 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:49.320 know from my grandmother and her people, Yes I went 0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:51.960 out of my way to make sure they didn't trip 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:52.679 or fall or be. 0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:55.119 Okay, So give me some other stereotypes. What are some 0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:58.359 other stereotypes that you think of for older people? 0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:06.640 They don't know what's going on today because of social 0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:09.640 media and AI and so on something. 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:12.600 In other words, you're saying young people or people think 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:14.680 that older people don't know how to use social media 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:17.240 because they're old. 0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:19.280 And a lot of times we don't a lot of 0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:20.080 people don't. 0:21:20.560 --> 0:21:23.639 But it's ever okay. But the agism, let me just 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:29.640 be clear. Agism is when you make an assumption based 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:33.199