WEBVTT - 'Miss' Spelling (Part 2)

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<v Speaker 1>Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I this guttural scream came out of me, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, it wasn't even like a scream, like like

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<v Speaker 2>sexy scream, like running in a horror film. It was

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<v Speaker 2>beast like. It wasn't pretty at all. I would love

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<v Speaker 2>to have seen what my face looked like. I'm sure

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<v Speaker 2>it was all contorted.

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<v Speaker 3>And I was like, fuck, cute, wow.

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<v Speaker 2>And I took my most prized possession. In that moment.

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<v Speaker 3>My baked potato was loaded to perfection.

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<v Speaker 2>And I smashed it on the ground. I've never seen

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<v Speaker 2>a baked potato fly like that. Let me just say.

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<v Speaker 2>It was to wall potato. It was on the floor,

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<v Speaker 2>it was on the oven, it was it was everywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, noe to oneself. Later tonight, on

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<v Speaker 2>your ambien, you will come out here and you will

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<v Speaker 2>lick this all up and eat it properly. Anyway back

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<v Speaker 2>to the story. And then I I was like, oh shit,

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<v Speaker 2>that was too far. Look what I just did. I'm dude,

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<v Speaker 2>eat the kitchen. Oh. So I then went and locked

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<v Speaker 2>myself in our bedroom. Our bedroom, me and the kids,

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<v Speaker 2>Christina and I didn't sleep together for like three years,

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<v Speaker 2>different bedrooms.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, his choice.

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<v Speaker 2>Like he gave an interview saying he stopped sleeping in

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<v Speaker 2>the bed because of a pig. That is not true.

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<v Speaker 2>There was a pig in the bed. But the pig

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<v Speaker 2>was in the bed. In two thousand and seventeen, when

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<v Speaker 2>I was pregnant, we had a baby pig. And that

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<v Speaker 2>baby pig they told me that it needs to be

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<v Speaker 2>in a bed. I was just following orders that it

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<v Speaker 2>was used to snuggling and it needed that for a

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<v Speaker 2>few nights. But then when it peed between us in

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<v Speaker 2>the bed, he was like, the pig's leaving the bed,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like understood, and that was it. That

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<v Speaker 2>was the only night the pig was in the bed.

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<v Speaker 2>And anyway, yeah, that pig. Jenny took that pig when

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<v Speaker 2>I lived on her farm for many years. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>I never had like the animals and kids didn't come

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<v Speaker 2>between us and the bed.

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<v Speaker 3>He would always say, it's because I slept with.

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<v Speaker 2>The TV on. But it's like I think I had

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<v Speaker 2>the TV on for distraction, like to distract from my life,

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<v Speaker 2>like I would just zone out and be entertained, which

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<v Speaker 2>is what my dad said. That's what he always wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to do. Like people have hard days, hard work, hard lives,

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<v Speaker 2>hard relationships, and it's all individual and when they get home,

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<v Speaker 2>they just kind of want to zone out and be

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<v Speaker 2>entertained and taken out of their world escape, isn't so

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<v Speaker 2>that's what I was just creating for myself because guess what.

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<v Speaker 2>It's funny he's no longer in my bed, no longer

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<v Speaker 2>in the marriage. Oh that's right, I filed for divorce. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm getting used to this. I don't even sleep with

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<v Speaker 2>the TV on anymore? Isn't that ironic?

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<v Speaker 3>Just curious?

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<v Speaker 1>When your dad passed, how did that impact you? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>how did that affect your life moving forward? Emotionally from

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<v Speaker 1>a business standpoint? I mean, you're saying you use TV

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<v Speaker 1>to distract yourself, and you're referencing your dad, So wondering

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<v Speaker 1>if he was sort of in the back of your

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<v Speaker 1>mind during this moment or any moments consciously, or now

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<v Speaker 1>as you have just filed for divorce.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a really good question. I think I'm so used

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<v Speaker 2>to repressing feelings. I used to tell Dean this all

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<v Speaker 2>the time, Like once in a blue moon, if I

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<v Speaker 2>would cry about something, I'd be like, I'm so sorry,

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<v Speaker 2>and he'd be like, wait, why are you sorry. I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, because crying is a sign of weakness, and

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<v Speaker 2>he was like, who told you that? I was like

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<v Speaker 2>I had to think about it. Was like, no one

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<v Speaker 2>told me that. It's just I've always been this way,

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<v Speaker 2>like you don't cry. And I was like, oh, that's

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<v Speaker 2>so weird. That is weird. Yeah, I still don't cry.

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<v Speaker 1>But do you think that came from your dad?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I never saw my parents. Really, My parents never

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<v Speaker 2>argued in front of us. They never yeah, talked about

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<v Speaker 2>anything emotional. We you know, just talked about family stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>talked about my dad's work, and I was all on board,

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<v Speaker 2>like to talk about casting and doing but it's really

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<v Speaker 2>all we talked about. Like he never like asked about

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<v Speaker 2>like relationships or if I liked a boy or I

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<v Speaker 2>remember one time at the dinner table, my uncle Danny

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<v Speaker 2>came into town and he's like I was in only

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<v Speaker 2>twenties and he's like, so he's like, when are you

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<v Speaker 2>gonna get married? You know, when you're gonna have kids?

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<v Speaker 3>And my dad's like, don't ask her that. We don't

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<v Speaker 3>talk about that.

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<v Speaker 2>And I always thought, wait, why, Okay, yep, we don't

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<v Speaker 2>talk about that. It was just like normal. But I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know why, Like why didn't we talk about that?

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<v Speaker 2>Why didn't he want to talk about my happiness and

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<v Speaker 2>like what would happen to me? And personally, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Never got to ask.

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<v Speaker 4>I have a question, Torry, and if you don't want

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<v Speaker 4>to answer it, totally, yes, Lorrain in the front row. Okay,

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<v Speaker 4>so you talk about how you had a fairy tale

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<v Speaker 4>in your head? Yeah, what was Dean's? Do you think

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<v Speaker 4>he had a fairy tale in his head? He was

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<v Speaker 4>marrying the daughter of a Hollywood mogul. Do you think

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<v Speaker 4>he had a vision of what that was going to

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<v Speaker 4>look like? Was there a lifestyle he was expecting to list?

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<v Speaker 2>That's interesting because I don't know the answer to that,

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<v Speaker 2>because what I know is that, you know, he was

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<v Speaker 2>a working actor. He had this great life in Toronto.

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<v Speaker 2>He supported his wife and son. They owned houses. Like

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, okay, you know it's this guy's

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<v Speaker 2>you know, he's done a lot. I always felt like,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I always felt ashamed that maybe on

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<v Speaker 2>some level, like by hooking up with me, he well,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, they would start like, oh, mister Tory spelling Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and I guess I've always held onto that, and sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>when we fought, like that would come up and I

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<v Speaker 2>just felt really sad because I didn't know the answer

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<v Speaker 2>to that. I'll never know I was living it. It's

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<v Speaker 2>just like on some level, Yeah, I guess he's just

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<v Speaker 2>always attached to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry, So finish the story about the Instagram post and

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<v Speaker 1>what sort of put the wheels in motion for you

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<v Speaker 1>guys to officially separate.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah. He was fired up and he came. We have

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<v Speaker 2>an out We had an outdoor. The Primary, very sweet

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<v Speaker 2>had an outdoor entrance, so he was like banging on

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<v Speaker 2>the door. I locked, which the Primaries off the kitchen,

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<v Speaker 2>so exited the kitchen went into my bedroom. Anyway, he

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<v Speaker 2>came around the side because I hadn't thought about that

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<v Speaker 2>and I hadn't locked those doors. So he came in

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<v Speaker 2>and he was very very upset, and he said I

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<v Speaker 2>wanted divorce.

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<v Speaker 3>This is over.

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<v Speaker 2>And I said, okay, great, Okay. I mean he's threatening

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<v Speaker 2>that a million times. I don't think I've ever threatened that,

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<v Speaker 2>like ever, and there were times where I desperately wanted it,

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<v Speaker 2>but like, I would never throw that in someone's face

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<v Speaker 2>if I didn't actually mean it and so anyway, because

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<v Speaker 2>words like I don't know, people forget feelings, but you'd

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<v Speaker 2>always remember words.

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<v Speaker 1>And so when he threatened it and you said fine,

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<v Speaker 1>were you at the point where you were ready or.

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<v Speaker 3>Was this to you just another fight where that was thrown?

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<v Speaker 2>Ugh, that was another fight. It's just another Friday night. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>sure did, because I didn't have the balls sleave, like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, why do you have to have balls sleave? Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>all of a sudden it was on Instagram, and it

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<v Speaker 2>was one of those like weird when you know, two

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<v Speaker 2>celebrities kind of a publicist crafts a joint statement and

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<v Speaker 2>you asked for privacy and you both posted, but he

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<v Speaker 2>was the only one posting it, but it read as

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<v Speaker 2>if it was coming from both of us, which I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, whoa. My daughter found it first and said, mom,

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<v Speaker 2>dad just posted on social media. That's you guys are

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<v Speaker 2>getting a divorce. And I said what And then I

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<v Speaker 2>looked at it and it was I'm not kidding you, guys.

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<v Speaker 2>I felt like this giant rock had been lifted off

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<v Speaker 2>my chest. I could breathe deeply, and I was like.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh my god, he said it.

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<v Speaker 2>He said it, So now I'm free, like everything has

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<v Speaker 2>started and this I couldn't do it, and he did it,

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<v Speaker 2>and now I can move on.

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<v Speaker 3>He's put it out there, let's go.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I needed this, you know, like I couldn't do

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<v Speaker 2>it myself, so I thought, you know, And then.

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<v Speaker 3>A beat after that, Estella started.

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<v Speaker 2>Crying and she said, no, mom, you're acting like this

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<v Speaker 2>is a good thing. And I was like, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm just saying and she's like, do you know

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<v Speaker 2>how embarrassing my friends have to read this? And then

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh my god, I felt so shamed again.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, oh, oh no, I didn't think

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<v Speaker 2>of it that way. I was just like I'm free, yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>and he's and she was like he needs to take

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<v Speaker 2>this down and I was like yeah, yeah, okay, yep.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, he was in his bedroom, we were

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<v Speaker 2>in ours. I called him, he wouldn't pick up. I

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<v Speaker 2>texted him, he wouldn't pick up. Stella texted him and

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<v Speaker 2>he was like he was still you know, at that point,

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<v Speaker 2>he was in the height of his addiction, so he

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't understanding and clearly what she was asking and what

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<v Speaker 2>was happening to everyone around him at that moment. So

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<v Speaker 2>he was like, you don't understand. It's been a long

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<v Speaker 2>time coming. You know, Mom and I are going to

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<v Speaker 2>co parent everything. And she's like, she literally said, Dad,

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<v Speaker 2>you're not understanding. It's not about that. You guys can

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<v Speaker 2>get a divorce, you should, but you just put it

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<v Speaker 2>out there publicly before we've dealt with it, Like that

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<v Speaker 2>shouldn't be the case anyway, you know, you know what happens,

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<v Speaker 2>like as soon as it's out there, one person takes

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<v Speaker 2>one screenshot and it doesn't matter if you delete it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's permanent. So no, but he did delete it at

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<v Speaker 2>eleven am on Saturday morning. That was a rough night

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<v Speaker 2>with the kids. Yeah, he deleted it, but it was

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<v Speaker 2>out there everywhere, every where. And what made it worse

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<v Speaker 2>is I didn't comment, like so it was like I

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<v Speaker 2>hadn't It's like I didn't exist, you know, like I

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<v Speaker 2>had my story, the kids had their story. He needed help,

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I had to just.

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<v Speaker 6>Watch the stories trickle out of what was happening, and

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<v Speaker 6>then people following and saying he took it down, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>obviously prompted by spelling, like and he's taken it down now,

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<v Speaker 6>So what's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>Are they not going a divorce?

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<v Speaker 3>Was it a fight?

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<v Speaker 2>And I was just like, oh, please, let us get

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<v Speaker 2>a divorce. If it was up to me, he wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>have taken it down, but it hurt the kids, so

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<v Speaker 2>they wanted it down.

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<v Speaker 5>But yeah, so.

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<v Speaker 1>What happened next that next day? Like when did he

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<v Speaker 1>move out?

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<v Speaker 2>We took it down on Saturday. Sunday was Father's Day.

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<v Speaker 2>I pulled it together enough to make.

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<v Speaker 3>A charcouterie board.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a really good one too. We all had that.

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<v Speaker 2>We played a game of clue with Dean. We did

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<v Speaker 2>what we usually did, which is the same thing we

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<v Speaker 2>did growing up in my house. We didn't talk about emotions,

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<v Speaker 2>just went on as if nothing happened. Everyone pretend nothing happened.

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<v Speaker 2>Here we go, put her on a happy face. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and then, you know, at the same time, we were

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<v Speaker 2>dealing with mold in our house and we had to

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<v Speaker 2>get out of that house anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>So we left. We left.

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<v Speaker 2>The kids and I left and we never went back.

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<v Speaker 2>That was on June eighteen nineteen, that Monday morning. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we never went back. He stayed take care of the

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<v Speaker 2>animals until he finished moving out of that house, and

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<v Speaker 2>then he I helped find a rehab for him to

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<v Speaker 2>go to, and he went and he was there one month,

0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:44.040
<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, one or two months, and then he went

0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:53.560
<v Speaker 2>to sober living. Anyway, he's been sober since June twenty

0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:59.800
<v Speaker 2>twenty three, and I'm very proud of him. And we've

0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:04.560
<v Speaker 2>been down this road before, no one really publicly now

0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:09.120
<v Speaker 2>was like a few times. And I hope for him

0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.440
<v Speaker 2>and for the kids that it sticks. I really do.

0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:20.880
<v Speaker 1>Given how much time has passed between that fateful night

0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:25.200
<v Speaker 1>when he posted the Instagram post and now, I think

0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people thought this is never going to happen.

0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:31.280
<v Speaker 1>They're not actually going to get divorced.

0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:37.440
<v Speaker 2>And people have been writing our story and the outcome

0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:42.680
<v Speaker 2>of our marriage since we got married. They literally were like,

0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:46.400
<v Speaker 2>it won't last six months. Then I had something to prove,

0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:50.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, go big or get home, screw you. I'll

0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:58.520
<v Speaker 2>make it last eighteen painful years. I like even numbers.

0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:03.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad it ended on an eight. Yeah, so.

0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:06.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they had.

0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:10.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean you could pull up fifty million tabloids that say,

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:15.119
<v Speaker 2>like Tori Spelling, d McDermott divorcing, and this was like

0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:19.120
<v Speaker 2>two years, three years into our marriage. They've been writing

0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:21.520
<v Speaker 2>those stories since then.

0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:22.760
<v Speaker 3>And it's just like.

0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.240
<v Speaker 2>Life imitating art, Like I don't know, maybe finally took

0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.119
<v Speaker 2>a page and listened, like, shit, if everyone thinks we

0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:36.040
<v Speaker 2>should get divorced, maybe we should, they were correct.

0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:41.119
<v Speaker 1>Curious, now that he's sober, like through this process, have

0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:45.240
<v Speaker 1>you reconsidered I mean, obviously you filed for divorce today,

0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:48.840
<v Speaker 1>so you didn't. But curious if along these months you

0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:55.480
<v Speaker 1>rethought the decision when you saw he was doing so well.

0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:01.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I honestly had spent time taking care of

0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:03.520
<v Speaker 2>the kids and focusing on them, and they weren't ready

0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:06.440
<v Speaker 2>to see their dad. And I went to see him

0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:13.920
<v Speaker 2>once when he was in rehab and we were with

0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:20.679
<v Speaker 2>therapists and it got painful and argumentative.

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:22.720
<v Speaker 3>It was a lot.

0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:28.840
<v Speaker 2>It was a lot, and I didn't feel like he

0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:31.879
<v Speaker 2>was doing well, like there was still a lot of

0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:36.399
<v Speaker 2>anger and aggression, and so I didn't go back. And

0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:39.240
<v Speaker 2>I know that hurt him a lot. He felt like

0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:43.080
<v Speaker 2>we abandoned him when he was going through that process.

0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.280
<v Speaker 2>But I had to do what was right for the kids,

0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:52.680
<v Speaker 2>and I, you know, we just had to get through

0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:54.920
<v Speaker 2>and do what was right for them at the time.

0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:58.480
<v Speaker 2>And you know, I do.

0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:01.800
<v Speaker 3>He says, like, oh, I felt like you guys.

0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:04.439
<v Speaker 2>Didn't check in on my progress and didn't and I

0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:06.280
<v Speaker 2>was like, you know what I was told by so

0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:10.920
<v Speaker 2>many people that have been with addicts, and that sometimes

0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:13.120
<v Speaker 2>you go into a place for nine months and you're

0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.400
<v Speaker 2>not allowed to contact your spouse or your family and

0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:20.680
<v Speaker 2>you just have to do your work. And so it

0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:24.520
<v Speaker 2>wasn't that I wasn't checking in. I was letting you

0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:30.440
<v Speaker 2>do what you need to do. And I wasn't consciously like, oh,

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.919
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to do this like I just I

0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:39.000
<v Speaker 2>was in the moment, going with five kids and their

0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:42.919
<v Speaker 2>emotions which were all over the place, while you know,

0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:48.159
<v Speaker 2>simultaneously being put all over the press that I was

0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:53.600
<v Speaker 2>homeless and like living in an RV, and just it

0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:57.199
<v Speaker 2>was like there was such other Matt. You know, we

0:19:57.280 --> 0:20:00.439
<v Speaker 2>had an airbnb like next door to a drug who

0:20:00.560 --> 0:20:03.439
<v Speaker 2>knew that until the morning when they're like, uh, you

0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:05.280
<v Speaker 2>need to vacate And the police showed up in the

0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:07.920
<v Speaker 2>swat and like there's an armed guy next door, and

0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:08.320
<v Speaker 2>it's like.

0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:09.720
<v Speaker 3>What that with a hostage?

0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:12.840
<v Speaker 2>We're like cool, Yeah, I thought it was a little

0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:16.640
<v Speaker 2>too quiet over there. Glad I didn't ever go over

0:20:16.680 --> 0:20:19.000
<v Speaker 2>and knock on the door for sugar. Don't know what

0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:25.280
<v Speaker 2>I would have gotten, but it's yeah, like our lives

0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:31.800
<v Speaker 2>didn't stop. My life never stops. There's always something. So

0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:36.840
<v Speaker 2>I had to just focus and oh, have I reconsidered.

0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:44.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna lie. There's moments where I'm like, should

0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:50.800
<v Speaker 2>I have stayed? What? What are the long term ramifications

0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:56.680
<v Speaker 2>on the children of staying in a marriage where they

0:20:57.400 --> 0:21:01.800
<v Speaker 2>have a family, they're in the same house, it's all intact,

0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:09.639
<v Speaker 2>you move fluidly, but there's so much unhappiness and so

0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:13.520
<v Speaker 2>much anger. At what point is it worth it to

0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:15.960
<v Speaker 2>have to have them go through that process where they're

0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:23.000
<v Speaker 2>separated and they go see different parents And I don't know,

0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:24.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I didn't know the answer to that till I

0:21:25.000 --> 0:21:30.000
<v Speaker 2>was in it. And and there's still times where I'm like, oh,

0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:33.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, because we do now have like family dinners

0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:37.640
<v Speaker 2>with Dean and his girlfriend. I didn't mean to say

0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:42.240
<v Speaker 2>it like that. It's just it's it's I would like

0:21:42.240 --> 0:21:44.800
<v Speaker 2>her a lot. I like Lily a lot. It's not that,

0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:50.160
<v Speaker 2>it's just, you know, it's different, right, It's just you know, Sorry.

0:21:50.359 --> 0:21:52.600
<v Speaker 2>I laugh when I get nervous. I make jokes when

0:21:52.600 --> 0:21:56.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm nervous. So I don't know how to process it.

0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:00.000
<v Speaker 2>Dean is a very good looking man that has never changed.

0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:04.399
<v Speaker 2>I think it just there was so much resentment built

0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:09.080
<v Speaker 2>up that I couldn't go back to that, which goes

0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:12.040
<v Speaker 2>to my theory. Now, I don't know if I believe

0:22:12.640 --> 0:22:19.439
<v Speaker 2>that everyone should end up with the person they have

0:22:19.520 --> 0:22:23.200
<v Speaker 2>kids with. I just don't know if it's ultimately possible.

0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:29.240
<v Speaker 2>I think while that is, you're human to create and

0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:31.399
<v Speaker 2>it comes out of love. Obviously you have to have

0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:34.320
<v Speaker 2>so much love to create and keep creating the family.

0:22:35.520 --> 0:22:40.440
<v Speaker 2>But it breaks a relationship. And I'm amazed when people

0:22:40.600 --> 0:22:45.400
<v Speaker 2>like now now that I'm hey, guys, I'm getting divorce.

0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:51.840
<v Speaker 2>Uh see, every time it gets easier and people are like,

0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:57.159
<v Speaker 2>I've been married fifty years, of kids, grandkids, I'm like, wow, Like,

0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:02.280
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how I think ye, I don't know.

0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:04.919
<v Speaker 2>It's my belief. Now we have like two soulmates or

0:23:04.960 --> 0:23:07.320
<v Speaker 2>two partners that we're supposed to have, one for that

0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:11.560
<v Speaker 2>chapter and one for our chapter where it becomes about us.

0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:14.320
<v Speaker 2>It's funny it goes from about us to about others

0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:21.399
<v Speaker 2>to back to being about us again. And yeah, like

0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:24.720
<v Speaker 2>any partner I have now, I'm sure I'll look at

0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:27.359
<v Speaker 2>them if they've had kids and be like, wow, I

0:23:27.359 --> 0:23:29.399
<v Speaker 2>couldn't have had kids with you, Like it would have

0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:34.520
<v Speaker 2>just like ruined what we have. It's challenging.

0:23:43.320 --> 0:23:45.760
<v Speaker 1>So what are you thinking about for this next chapter?

0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:51.439
<v Speaker 1>I mean, the divorce is just happening now, but you

0:23:51.520 --> 0:23:54.919
<v Speaker 1>must have given some thought to will you date again?

0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:57.920
<v Speaker 1>Could you ever see yourself getting married again?

0:23:59.200 --> 0:24:09.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Love? Planning a wedding? Jayla? Did it? How many times?

0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:14.680
<v Speaker 2>Four times? There you go? Sure?

0:24:14.920 --> 0:24:15.680
<v Speaker 3>Elizabeth Taylor?

0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:19.320
<v Speaker 2>How many times? Eight? Sure? Why not?

0:24:22.600 --> 0:24:24.359
<v Speaker 1>That's not your priority right now?

0:24:26.000 --> 0:24:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Should I make it my priority?

0:24:28.640 --> 0:24:29.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't think so much.

0:24:30.240 --> 0:24:32.480
<v Speaker 3>You know what? I hate you?

0:24:32.560 --> 0:24:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Sorry you say this all the time. I'm talking to

0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:43.280
<v Speaker 2>Ruthan right now. Be with yourself. Be happy with yourself.

0:24:44.400 --> 0:24:49.399
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be with myself. I don't know.

0:24:49.880 --> 0:24:51.520
<v Speaker 2>And people are like, wait, this is a lot. You

0:24:51.560 --> 0:24:54.760
<v Speaker 2>should be happy with yourself alone. I haven't been alone,

0:24:54.960 --> 0:25:00.399
<v Speaker 2>like I like, honestly, like I still don't poople, like

0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:03.080
<v Speaker 2>bo still stands there and stares and talks to me

0:25:03.200 --> 0:25:06.000
<v Speaker 2>like while I'm pooping, Like it's just like I don't know.

0:25:06.600 --> 0:25:14.239
<v Speaker 2>I haven't pooped peede alone in eighteen years. Yeah, vers

0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:20.359
<v Speaker 2>it was dean and it was kids. Like, I don't know.

0:25:20.800 --> 0:25:26.560
<v Speaker 2>I think I functioned better with people. Is that codependent?

0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:28.320
<v Speaker 3>Yes? Cool?

0:25:28.760 --> 0:25:33.280
<v Speaker 2>Redefine it. Oh, and I have one friend he's a

0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:36.639
<v Speaker 2>recovering attitude, so he too, I said, like it's me.

0:25:36.800 --> 0:25:40.359
<v Speaker 2>But because my husband is ex husband, wait, I can

0:25:40.400 --> 0:25:44.080
<v Speaker 2>call him my ex husband now a strange let's fun

0:25:44.160 --> 0:25:48.840
<v Speaker 2>say strange husband. I still say babe. I always called

0:25:48.920 --> 0:25:51.000
<v Speaker 2>him babe. Like I say babe in front of his girlfriend,

0:25:51.040 --> 0:25:53.600
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, what am I supposed to call him dean?

0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:56.159
<v Speaker 2>Like I have not called him dean in eighteen years,

0:25:56.160 --> 0:26:04.080
<v Speaker 2>Like it's so weird. I guess when I get a

0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:07.040
<v Speaker 2>boyfriend or someone else that I call babe, I guess

0:26:07.080 --> 0:26:10.480
<v Speaker 2>I'll stop calling him babe. I hope it's going to

0:26:10.520 --> 0:26:16.760
<v Speaker 2>be amicable. We're co parenting very well right now, like yeah,

0:26:17.520 --> 0:26:24.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, like the kids are seeing him again and

0:26:24.840 --> 0:26:27.960
<v Speaker 2>they're happy with his progress and the work he's done

0:26:28.000 --> 0:26:34.720
<v Speaker 2>on himself, and they're proud of him, and we like

0:26:34.800 --> 0:26:41.560
<v Speaker 2>his girlfriend, and we all co parent together and live

0:26:41.600 --> 0:26:43.000
<v Speaker 2>in the dream. I don't know.

0:26:43.080 --> 0:26:44.399
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you hope it works out like that.

0:26:44.480 --> 0:26:47.080
<v Speaker 2>You always hope that. I don't know. I don't know

0:26:47.119 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 2>what's going to happen now, because now it's kind of

0:26:49.320 --> 0:26:51.240
<v Speaker 2>out of our hands and it's going to be with

0:26:51.320 --> 0:26:56.800
<v Speaker 2>lawyers and courts, and I think they're not quite always

0:26:56.880 --> 0:27:03.480
<v Speaker 2>used to things not getting messy with celebrities, So I

0:27:03.520 --> 0:27:07.040
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I don't think either of us wanted to

0:27:07.040 --> 0:27:12.120
<v Speaker 2>get messy. Life's messy. I don't know, probably