Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: I this guttural scream came out of me, and I
Speaker 2: was like, it wasn't even like a scream, like like
Speaker 2: sexy scream, like running in a horror film. It was
Speaker 2: beast like. It wasn't pretty at all. I would love
Speaker 2: to have seen what my face looked like. I'm sure
Speaker 2: it was all contorted.
Speaker 3: And I was like, fuck, cute, wow.
Speaker 2: And I took my most prized possession. In that moment.
Speaker 3: My baked potato was loaded to perfection.
Speaker 2: And I smashed it on the ground. I've never seen
Speaker 2: a baked potato fly like that. Let me just say.
Speaker 2: It was to wall potato. It was on the floor,
Speaker 2: it was on the oven, it was it was everywhere.
Speaker 2: And I was like, noe to oneself. Later tonight, on
Speaker 2: your ambien, you will come out here and you will
Speaker 2: lick this all up and eat it properly. Anyway back
Speaker 2: to the story. And then I I was like, oh shit,
Speaker 2: that was too far. Look what I just did. I'm dude,
Speaker 2: eat the kitchen. Oh. So I then went and locked
Speaker 2: myself in our bedroom. Our bedroom, me and the kids,
Speaker 2: Christina and I didn't sleep together for like three years,
Speaker 2: different bedrooms.
Speaker 3: Yeah, his choice.
Speaker 2: Like he gave an interview saying he stopped sleeping in
Speaker 2: the bed because of a pig. That is not true.
Speaker 2: There was a pig in the bed. But the pig
Speaker 2: was in the bed. In two thousand and seventeen, when
Speaker 2: I was pregnant, we had a baby pig. And that
Speaker 2: baby pig they told me that it needs to be
Speaker 2: in a bed. I was just following orders that it
Speaker 2: was used to snuggling and it needed that for a
Speaker 2: few nights. But then when it peed between us in
Speaker 2: the bed, he was like, the pig's leaving the bed,
Speaker 2: and I was like understood, and that was it. That
Speaker 2: was the only night the pig was in the bed.
Speaker 2: And anyway, yeah, that pig. Jenny took that pig when
Speaker 2: I lived on her farm for many years. But anyway,
Speaker 2: I never had like the animals and kids didn't come
Speaker 2: between us and the bed.
Speaker 3: He would always say, it's because I slept with.
Speaker 2: The TV on. But it's like I think I had
Speaker 2: the TV on for distraction, like to distract from my life,
Speaker 2: like I would just zone out and be entertained, which
Speaker 2: is what my dad said. That's what he always wanted
Speaker 2: to do. Like people have hard days, hard work, hard lives,
Speaker 2: hard relationships, and it's all individual and when they get home,
Speaker 2: they just kind of want to zone out and be
Speaker 2: entertained and taken out of their world escape, isn't so
Speaker 2: that's what I was just creating for myself because guess what.
Speaker 2: It's funny he's no longer in my bed, no longer
Speaker 2: in the marriage. Oh that's right, I filed for divorce. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm getting used to this. I don't even sleep with
Speaker 2: the TV on anymore? Isn't that ironic?
Speaker 3: Just curious?
Speaker 1: When your dad passed, how did that impact you? I mean,
Speaker 1: how did that affect your life moving forward? Emotionally from
Speaker 1: a business standpoint? I mean, you're saying you use TV
Speaker 1: to distract yourself, and you're referencing your dad, So wondering
Speaker 1: if he was sort of in the back of your
Speaker 1: mind during this moment or any moments consciously, or now
Speaker 1: as you have just filed for divorce.
Speaker 2: That's a really good question. I think I'm so used
Speaker 2: to repressing feelings. I used to tell Dean this all
Speaker 2: the time, Like once in a blue moon, if I
Speaker 2: would cry about something, I'd be like, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 2: and he'd be like, wait, why are you sorry. I
Speaker 2: was like, because crying is a sign of weakness, and
Speaker 2: he was like, who told you that? I was like
Speaker 2: I had to think about it. Was like, no one
Speaker 2: told me that. It's just I've always been this way,
Speaker 2: like you don't cry. And I was like, oh, that's
Speaker 2: so weird. That is weird. Yeah, I still don't cry.
Speaker 1: But do you think that came from your dad?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I never saw my parents. Really, My parents never
Speaker 2: argued in front of us. They never yeah, talked about
Speaker 2: anything emotional. We you know, just talked about family stuff,
Speaker 2: talked about my dad's work, and I was all on board,
Speaker 2: like to talk about casting and doing but it's really
Speaker 2: all we talked about. Like he never like asked about
Speaker 2: like relationships or if I liked a boy or I
Speaker 2: remember one time at the dinner table, my uncle Danny
Speaker 2: came into town and he's like I was in only
Speaker 2: twenties and he's like, so he's like, when are you
Speaker 2: gonna get married? You know, when you're gonna have kids?
Speaker 3: And my dad's like, don't ask her that. We don't
Speaker 3: talk about that.
Speaker 2: And I always thought, wait, why, Okay, yep, we don't
Speaker 2: talk about that. It was just like normal. But I
Speaker 2: don't know why, Like why didn't we talk about that?
Speaker 2: Why didn't he want to talk about my happiness and
Speaker 2: like what would happen to me? And personally, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Never got to ask.
Speaker 4: I have a question, Torry, and if you don't want
Speaker 4: to answer it, totally, yes, Lorrain in the front row. Okay,
Speaker 4: so you talk about how you had a fairy tale
Speaker 4: in your head? Yeah, what was Dean's? Do you think
Speaker 4: he had a fairy tale in his head? He was
Speaker 4: marrying the daughter of a Hollywood mogul. Do you think
Speaker 4: he had a vision of what that was going to
Speaker 4: look like? Was there a lifestyle he was expecting to list?
Speaker 2: That's interesting because I don't know the answer to that,
Speaker 2: because what I know is that, you know, he was
Speaker 2: a working actor. He had this great life in Toronto.
Speaker 2: He supported his wife and son. They owned houses. Like
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, you know it's this guy's
Speaker 2: you know, he's done a lot. I always felt like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, I always felt ashamed that maybe on
Speaker 2: some level, like by hooking up with me, he well,
Speaker 2: you know, they would start like, oh, mister Tory spelling Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I guess I've always held onto that, and sometimes
Speaker 2: when we fought, like that would come up and I
Speaker 2: just felt really sad because I didn't know the answer
Speaker 2: to that. I'll never know I was living it. It's
Speaker 2: just like on some level, Yeah, I guess he's just
Speaker 2: always attached to me.
Speaker 1: Sorry, So finish the story about the Instagram post and
Speaker 1: what sort of put the wheels in motion for you
Speaker 1: guys to officially separate.
Speaker 2: Ah. He was fired up and he came. We have
Speaker 2: an out We had an outdoor. The Primary, very sweet
Speaker 2: had an outdoor entrance, so he was like banging on
Speaker 2: the door. I locked, which the Primaries off the kitchen,
Speaker 2: so exited the kitchen went into my bedroom. Anyway, he
Speaker 2: came around the side because I hadn't thought about that
Speaker 2: and I hadn't locked those doors. So he came in
Speaker 2: and he was very very upset, and he said I
Speaker 2: wanted divorce.
Speaker 3: This is over.
Speaker 2: And I said, okay, great, Okay. I mean he's threatening
Speaker 2: that a million times. I don't think I've ever threatened that,
Speaker 2: like ever, and there were times where I desperately wanted it,
Speaker 2: but like, I would never throw that in someone's face
Speaker 2: if I didn't actually mean it and so anyway, because
Speaker 2: words like I don't know, people forget feelings, but you'd
Speaker 2: always remember words.
Speaker 1: And so when he threatened it and you said fine,
Speaker 1: were you at the point where you were ready or.
Speaker 3: Was this to you just another fight where that was thrown?
Speaker 2: Ugh, that was another fight. It's just another Friday night. Yeah,
Speaker 2: sure did, because I didn't have the balls sleave, like,
Speaker 2: you know, why do you have to have balls sleave? Anyway,
Speaker 2: all of a sudden it was on Instagram, and it
Speaker 2: was one of those like weird when you know, two
Speaker 2: celebrities kind of a publicist crafts a joint statement and
Speaker 2: you asked for privacy and you both posted, but he
Speaker 2: was the only one posting it, but it read as
Speaker 2: if it was coming from both of us, which I
Speaker 2: was like, whoa. My daughter found it first and said, mom,
Speaker 2: dad just posted on social media. That's you guys are
Speaker 2: getting a divorce. And I said what And then I
Speaker 2: looked at it and it was I'm not kidding you, guys.
Speaker 2: I felt like this giant rock had been lifted off
Speaker 2: my chest. I could breathe deeply, and I was like.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, he said it.
Speaker 2: He said it, So now I'm free, like everything has
Speaker 2: started and this I couldn't do it, and he did it,
Speaker 2: and now I can move on.
Speaker 3: He's put it out there, let's go.
Speaker 2: Yes, I needed this, you know, like I couldn't do
Speaker 2: it myself, so I thought, you know, And then.
Speaker 3: A beat after that, Estella started.
Speaker 2: Crying and she said, no, mom, you're acting like this
Speaker 2: is a good thing. And I was like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: but I'm just saying and she's like, do you know
Speaker 2: how embarrassing my friends have to read this? And then
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I felt so shamed again.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, oh no, I didn't think
Speaker 2: of it that way. I was just like I'm free, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: and he's and she was like he needs to take
Speaker 2: this down and I was like yeah, yeah, okay, yep.
Speaker 2: So you know, he was in his bedroom, we were
Speaker 2: in ours. I called him, he wouldn't pick up. I
Speaker 2: texted him, he wouldn't pick up. Stella texted him and
Speaker 2: he was like he was still you know, at that point,
Speaker 2: he was in the height of his addiction, so he
Speaker 2: wasn't understanding and clearly what she was asking and what
Speaker 2: was happening to everyone around him at that moment. So
Speaker 2: he was like, you don't understand. It's been a long
Speaker 2: time coming. You know, Mom and I are going to
Speaker 2: co parent everything. And she's like, she literally said, Dad,
Speaker 2: you're not understanding. It's not about that. You guys can
Speaker 2: get a divorce, you should, but you just put it
Speaker 2: out there publicly before we've dealt with it, Like that
Speaker 2: shouldn't be the case anyway, you know, you know what happens,
Speaker 2: like as soon as it's out there, one person takes
Speaker 2: one screenshot and it doesn't matter if you delete it.
Speaker 2: It's permanent. So no, but he did delete it at
Speaker 2: eleven am on Saturday morning. That was a rough night
Speaker 2: with the kids. Yeah, he deleted it, but it was
Speaker 2: out there everywhere, every where. And what made it worse
Speaker 2: is I didn't comment, like so it was like I
Speaker 2: hadn't It's like I didn't exist, you know, like I
Speaker 2: had my story, the kids had their story. He needed help,
Speaker 2: But yeah, I had to just.
Speaker 6: Watch the stories trickle out of what was happening, and
Speaker 6: then people following and saying he took it down, you know,
Speaker 6: obviously prompted by spelling, like and he's taken it down now,
Speaker 6: So what's going on?
Speaker 2: Are they not going a divorce?
Speaker 3: Was it a fight?
Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, please, let us get
Speaker 2: a divorce. If it was up to me, he wouldn't
Speaker 2: have taken it down, but it hurt the kids, so
Speaker 2: they wanted it down.
Speaker 5: But yeah, so.
Speaker 1: What happened next that next day? Like when did he
Speaker 1: move out?
Speaker 2: We took it down on Saturday. Sunday was Father's Day.
Speaker 2: I pulled it together enough to make.
Speaker 3: A charcouterie board.
Speaker 2: It was a really good one too. We all had that.
Speaker 2: We played a game of clue with Dean. We did
Speaker 2: what we usually did, which is the same thing we
Speaker 2: did growing up in my house. We didn't talk about emotions,
Speaker 2: just went on as if nothing happened. Everyone pretend nothing happened.
Speaker 2: Here we go, put her on a happy face. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then, you know, at the same time, we were
Speaker 2: dealing with mold in our house and we had to
Speaker 2: get out of that house anyway.
Speaker 3: So we left. We left.
Speaker 2: The kids and I left and we never went back.
Speaker 2: That was on June eighteen nineteen, that Monday morning. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we never went back. He stayed take care of the
Speaker 2: animals until he finished moving out of that house, and
Speaker 2: then he I helped find a rehab for him to
Speaker 2: go to, and he went and he was there one month,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, one or two months, and then he went
Speaker 2: to sober living. Anyway, he's been sober since June twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three, and I'm very proud of him. And we've
Speaker 2: been down this road before, no one really publicly now
Speaker 2: was like a few times. And I hope for him
Speaker 2: and for the kids that it sticks. I really do.
Speaker 1: Given how much time has passed between that fateful night
Speaker 1: when he posted the Instagram post and now, I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people thought this is never going to happen.
Speaker 1: They're not actually going to get divorced.
Speaker 2: And people have been writing our story and the outcome
Speaker 2: of our marriage since we got married. They literally were like,
Speaker 2: it won't last six months. Then I had something to prove,
Speaker 2: you know, go big or get home, screw you. I'll
Speaker 2: make it last eighteen painful years. I like even numbers.
Speaker 2: I'm glad it ended on an eight. Yeah, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they had.
Speaker 2: I mean you could pull up fifty million tabloids that say,
Speaker 2: like Tori Spelling, d McDermott divorcing, and this was like
Speaker 2: two years, three years into our marriage. They've been writing
Speaker 2: those stories since then.
Speaker 3: And it's just like.
Speaker 2: Life imitating art, Like I don't know, maybe finally took
Speaker 2: a page and listened, like, shit, if everyone thinks we
Speaker 2: should get divorced, maybe we should, they were correct.
Speaker 1: Curious, now that he's sober, like through this process, have
Speaker 1: you reconsidered I mean, obviously you filed for divorce today,
Speaker 1: so you didn't. But curious if along these months you
Speaker 1: rethought the decision when you saw he was doing so well.
Speaker 2: I mean, I honestly had spent time taking care of
Speaker 2: the kids and focusing on them, and they weren't ready
Speaker 2: to see their dad. And I went to see him
Speaker 2: once when he was in rehab and we were with
Speaker 2: therapists and it got painful and argumentative.
Speaker 3: It was a lot.
Speaker 2: It was a lot, and I didn't feel like he
Speaker 2: was doing well, like there was still a lot of
Speaker 2: anger and aggression, and so I didn't go back. And
Speaker 2: I know that hurt him a lot. He felt like
Speaker 2: we abandoned him when he was going through that process.
Speaker 2: But I had to do what was right for the kids,
Speaker 2: and I, you know, we just had to get through
Speaker 2: and do what was right for them at the time.
Speaker 2: And you know, I do.
Speaker 3: He says, like, oh, I felt like you guys.
Speaker 2: Didn't check in on my progress and didn't and I
Speaker 2: was like, you know what I was told by so
Speaker 2: many people that have been with addicts, and that sometimes
Speaker 2: you go into a place for nine months and you're
Speaker 2: not allowed to contact your spouse or your family and
Speaker 2: you just have to do your work. And so it
Speaker 2: wasn't that I wasn't checking in. I was letting you
Speaker 2: do what you need to do. And I wasn't consciously like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do this like I just I
Speaker 2: was in the moment, going with five kids and their
Speaker 2: emotions which were all over the place, while you know,
Speaker 2: simultaneously being put all over the press that I was
Speaker 2: homeless and like living in an RV, and just it
Speaker 2: was like there was such other Matt. You know, we
Speaker 2: had an airbnb like next door to a drug who
Speaker 2: knew that until the morning when they're like, uh, you
Speaker 2: need to vacate And the police showed up in the
Speaker 2: swat and like there's an armed guy next door, and
Speaker 2: it's like.
Speaker 3: What that with a hostage?
Speaker 2: We're like cool, Yeah, I thought it was a little
Speaker 2: too quiet over there. Glad I didn't ever go over
Speaker 2: and knock on the door for sugar. Don't know what
Speaker 2: I would have gotten, but it's yeah, like our lives
Speaker 2: didn't stop. My life never stops. There's always something. So
Speaker 2: I had to just focus and oh, have I reconsidered.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. There's moments where I'm like, should
Speaker 2: I have stayed? What? What are the long term ramifications
Speaker 2: on the children of staying in a marriage where they
Speaker 2: have a family, they're in the same house, it's all intact,
Speaker 2: you move fluidly, but there's so much unhappiness and so
Speaker 2: much anger. At what point is it worth it to
Speaker 2: have to have them go through that process where they're
Speaker 2: separated and they go see different parents And I don't know,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't know the answer to that till I
Speaker 2: was in it. And and there's still times where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, because we do now have like family dinners
Speaker 2: with Dean and his girlfriend. I didn't mean to say
Speaker 2: it like that. It's just it's it's I would like
Speaker 2: her a lot. I like Lily a lot. It's not that,
Speaker 2: it's just, you know, it's different, right, It's just you know, Sorry.
Speaker 2: I laugh when I get nervous. I make jokes when
Speaker 2: I'm nervous. So I don't know how to process it.
Speaker 2: Dean is a very good looking man that has never changed.
Speaker 2: I think it just there was so much resentment built
Speaker 2: up that I couldn't go back to that, which goes
Speaker 2: to my theory. Now, I don't know if I believe
Speaker 2: that everyone should end up with the person they have
Speaker 2: kids with. I just don't know if it's ultimately possible.
Speaker 2: I think while that is, you're human to create and
Speaker 2: it comes out of love. Obviously you have to have
Speaker 2: so much love to create and keep creating the family.
Speaker 2: But it breaks a relationship. And I'm amazed when people
Speaker 2: like now now that I'm hey, guys, I'm getting divorce.
Speaker 2: Uh see, every time it gets easier and people are like,
Speaker 2: I've been married fifty years, of kids, grandkids, I'm like, wow, Like,
Speaker 2: I don't know how I think ye, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's my belief. Now we have like two soulmates or
Speaker 2: two partners that we're supposed to have, one for that
Speaker 2: chapter and one for our chapter where it becomes about us.
Speaker 2: It's funny it goes from about us to about others
Speaker 2: to back to being about us again. And yeah, like
Speaker 2: any partner I have now, I'm sure I'll look at
Speaker 2: them if they've had kids and be like, wow, I
Speaker 2: couldn't have had kids with you, Like it would have
Speaker 2: just like ruined what we have. It's challenging.
Speaker 1: So what are you thinking about for this next chapter?
Speaker 1: I mean, the divorce is just happening now, but you
Speaker 1: must have given some thought to will you date again?
Speaker 1: Could you ever see yourself getting married again?
Speaker 2: Oh? Love? Planning a wedding? Jayla? Did it? How many times?
Speaker 2: Four times? There you go? Sure?
Speaker 3: Elizabeth Taylor?
Speaker 2: How many times? Eight? Sure? Why not?
Speaker 1: That's not your priority right now?
Speaker 2: Should I make it my priority?
Speaker 1: I don't think so much.
Speaker 3: You know what? I hate you?
Speaker 2: Sorry you say this all the time. I'm talking to
Speaker 2: Ruthan right now. Be with yourself. Be happy with yourself.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be with myself. I don't know.
Speaker 2: And people are like, wait, this is a lot. You
Speaker 2: should be happy with yourself alone. I haven't been alone,
Speaker 2: like I like, honestly, like I still don't poople, like
Speaker 2: bo still stands there and stares and talks to me
Speaker 2: like while I'm pooping, Like it's just like I don't know.
Speaker 2: I haven't pooped peede alone in eighteen years. Yeah, vers
Speaker 2: it was dean and it was kids. Like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I functioned better with people. Is that codependent?
Speaker 3: Yes? Cool?
Speaker 2: Redefine it. Oh, and I have one friend he's a
Speaker 2: recovering attitude, so he too, I said, like it's me.
Speaker 2: But because my husband is ex husband, wait, I can
Speaker 2: call him my ex husband now a strange let's fun
Speaker 2: say strange husband. I still say babe. I always called
Speaker 2: him babe. Like I say babe in front of his girlfriend,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what am I supposed to call him dean?
Speaker 2: Like I have not called him dean in eighteen years,
Speaker 2: Like it's so weird. I guess when I get a
Speaker 2: boyfriend or someone else that I call babe, I guess
Speaker 2: I'll stop calling him babe. I hope it's going to
Speaker 2: be amicable. We're co parenting very well right now, like yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, like the kids are seeing him again and
Speaker 2: they're happy with his progress and the work he's done
Speaker 2: on himself, and they're proud of him, and we like
Speaker 2: his girlfriend, and we all co parent together and live
Speaker 2: in the dream. I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you hope it works out like that.
Speaker 2: You always hope that. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 2: what's going to happen now, because now it's kind of
Speaker 2: out of our hands and it's going to be with
Speaker 2: lawyers and courts, and I think they're not quite always
Speaker 2: used to things not getting messy with celebrities, So I
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't think either of us wanted to
Speaker 2: get messy. Life's messy. I don't know, probably