1
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:14,800
Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

2
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,320
Speaker 2: I this guttural scream came out of me, and I

3
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,079
Speaker 2: was like, it wasn't even like a scream, like like

4
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,800
Speaker 2: sexy scream, like running in a horror film. It was

5
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:30,560
Speaker 2: beast like. It wasn't pretty at all. I would love

6
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 2: to have seen what my face looked like. I'm sure

7
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:32,839
Speaker 2: it was all contorted.

8
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:38,120
Speaker 3: And I was like, fuck, cute, wow.

9
00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:42,960
Speaker 2: And I took my most prized possession. In that moment.

10
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,080
Speaker 3: My baked potato was loaded to perfection.

11
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:51,760
Speaker 2: And I smashed it on the ground. I've never seen

12
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,520
Speaker 2: a baked potato fly like that. Let me just say.

13
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:59,440
Speaker 2: It was to wall potato. It was on the floor,

14
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,640
Speaker 2: it was on the oven, it was it was everywhere.

15
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, noe to oneself. Later tonight, on

16
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,880
Speaker 2: your ambien, you will come out here and you will

17
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,959
Speaker 2: lick this all up and eat it properly. Anyway back

18
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:18,839
Speaker 2: to the story. And then I I was like, oh shit,

19
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,479
Speaker 2: that was too far. Look what I just did. I'm dude,

20
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:29,200
Speaker 2: eat the kitchen. Oh. So I then went and locked

21
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:33,560
Speaker 2: myself in our bedroom. Our bedroom, me and the kids,

22
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,440
Speaker 2: Christina and I didn't sleep together for like three years,

23
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,120
Speaker 2: different bedrooms.

24
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, his choice.

25
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:46,560
Speaker 2: Like he gave an interview saying he stopped sleeping in

26
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:52,640
Speaker 2: the bed because of a pig. That is not true.

27
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,480
Speaker 2: There was a pig in the bed. But the pig

28
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:59,800
Speaker 2: was in the bed. In two thousand and seventeen, when

29
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,120
Speaker 2: I was pregnant, we had a baby pig. And that

30
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:07,800
Speaker 2: baby pig they told me that it needs to be

31
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 2: in a bed. I was just following orders that it

32
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,160
Speaker 2: was used to snuggling and it needed that for a

33
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,720
Speaker 2: few nights. But then when it peed between us in

34
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 2: the bed, he was like, the pig's leaving the bed,

35
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,440
Speaker 2: and I was like understood, and that was it. That

36
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 2: was the only night the pig was in the bed.

37
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:29,799
Speaker 2: And anyway, yeah, that pig. Jenny took that pig when

38
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 2: I lived on her farm for many years. But anyway,

39
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,639
Speaker 2: I never had like the animals and kids didn't come

40
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 2: between us and the bed.

41
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,000
Speaker 3: He would always say, it's because I slept with.

42
00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:46,040
Speaker 2: The TV on. But it's like I think I had

43
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,960
Speaker 2: the TV on for distraction, like to distract from my life,

44
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,360
Speaker 2: like I would just zone out and be entertained, which

45
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,960
Speaker 2: is what my dad said. That's what he always wanted

46
00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:02,440
Speaker 2: to do. Like people have hard days, hard work, hard lives,

47
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:07,560
Speaker 2: hard relationships, and it's all individual and when they get home,

48
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,280
Speaker 2: they just kind of want to zone out and be

49
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,960
Speaker 2: entertained and taken out of their world escape, isn't so

50
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,680
Speaker 2: that's what I was just creating for myself because guess what.

51
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,600
Speaker 2: It's funny he's no longer in my bed, no longer

52
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 2: in the marriage. Oh that's right, I filed for divorce. Okay,

53
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,160
Speaker 2: I'm getting used to this. I don't even sleep with

54
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,240
Speaker 2: the TV on anymore? Isn't that ironic?

55
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:31,800
Speaker 3: Just curious?

56
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,800
Speaker 1: When your dad passed, how did that impact you? I mean,

57
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:45,840
Speaker 1: how did that affect your life moving forward? Emotionally from

58
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,200
Speaker 1: a business standpoint? I mean, you're saying you use TV

59
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:55,800
Speaker 1: to distract yourself, and you're referencing your dad, So wondering

60
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,440
Speaker 1: if he was sort of in the back of your

61
00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:07,280
Speaker 1: mind during this moment or any moments consciously, or now

62
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,600
Speaker 1: as you have just filed for divorce.

63
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,560
Speaker 2: That's a really good question. I think I'm so used

64
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:23,200
Speaker 2: to repressing feelings. I used to tell Dean this all

65
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,960
Speaker 2: the time, Like once in a blue moon, if I

66
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,799
Speaker 2: would cry about something, I'd be like, I'm so sorry,

67
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,680
Speaker 2: and he'd be like, wait, why are you sorry. I

68
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,960
Speaker 2: was like, because crying is a sign of weakness, and

69
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 2: he was like, who told you that? I was like

70
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,000
Speaker 2: I had to think about it. Was like, no one

71
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,160
Speaker 2: told me that. It's just I've always been this way,

72
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,159
Speaker 2: like you don't cry. And I was like, oh, that's

73
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:47,200
Speaker 2: so weird. That is weird. Yeah, I still don't cry.

74
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,160
Speaker 1: But do you think that came from your dad?

75
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,680
Speaker 2: Yeah? I never saw my parents. Really, My parents never

76
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:59,920
Speaker 2: argued in front of us. They never yeah, talked about

77
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:06,920
Speaker 2: anything emotional. We you know, just talked about family stuff,

78
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:12,160
Speaker 2: talked about my dad's work, and I was all on board,

79
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,279
Speaker 2: like to talk about casting and doing but it's really

80
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:22,039
Speaker 2: all we talked about. Like he never like asked about

81
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,960
Speaker 2: like relationships or if I liked a boy or I

82
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,760
Speaker 2: remember one time at the dinner table, my uncle Danny

83
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 2: came into town and he's like I was in only

84
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,279
Speaker 2: twenties and he's like, so he's like, when are you

85
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:37,640
Speaker 2: gonna get married? You know, when you're gonna have kids?

86
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,800
Speaker 3: And my dad's like, don't ask her that. We don't

87
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:40,440
Speaker 3: talk about that.

88
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:46,360
Speaker 2: And I always thought, wait, why, Okay, yep, we don't

89
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,919
Speaker 2: talk about that. It was just like normal. But I

90
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,880
Speaker 2: don't know why, Like why didn't we talk about that?

91
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,160
Speaker 2: Why didn't he want to talk about my happiness and

92
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,160
Speaker 2: like what would happen to me? And personally, I don't know.

93
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,160
Speaker 2: Never got to ask.

94
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,800
Speaker 4: I have a question, Torry, and if you don't want

95
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:09,120
Speaker 4: to answer it, totally, yes, Lorrain in the front row. Okay,

96
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,520
Speaker 4: so you talk about how you had a fairy tale

97
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,159
Speaker 4: in your head? Yeah, what was Dean's? Do you think

98
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,000
Speaker 4: he had a fairy tale in his head? He was

99
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,159
Speaker 4: marrying the daughter of a Hollywood mogul. Do you think

100
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,120
Speaker 4: he had a vision of what that was going to

101
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,720
Speaker 4: look like? Was there a lifestyle he was expecting to list?

102
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,120
Speaker 2: That's interesting because I don't know the answer to that,

103
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,120
Speaker 2: because what I know is that, you know, he was

104
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:42,880
Speaker 2: a working actor. He had this great life in Toronto.

105
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,880
Speaker 2: He supported his wife and son. They owned houses. Like

106
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,120
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, you know it's this guy's

107
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:59,240
Speaker 2: you know, he's done a lot. I always felt like,

108
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,080
Speaker 2: I don't know, I always felt ashamed that maybe on

109
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,880
Speaker 2: some level, like by hooking up with me, he well,

110
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:16,120
Speaker 2: you know, they would start like, oh, mister Tory spelling Yeah,

111
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,120
Speaker 2: and I guess I've always held onto that, and sometimes

112
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,720
Speaker 2: when we fought, like that would come up and I

113
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,880
Speaker 2: just felt really sad because I didn't know the answer

114
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,080
Speaker 2: to that. I'll never know I was living it. It's

115
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,680
Speaker 2: just like on some level, Yeah, I guess he's just

116
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,640
Speaker 2: always attached to me.

117
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:41,120
Speaker 1: Sorry, So finish the story about the Instagram post and

118
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,600
Speaker 1: what sort of put the wheels in motion for you

119
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,120
Speaker 1: guys to officially separate.

120
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:54,960
Speaker 2: Ah. He was fired up and he came. We have

121
00:07:55,000 --> 00:08:00,520
Speaker 2: an out We had an outdoor. The Primary, very sweet

122
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:06,160
Speaker 2: had an outdoor entrance, so he was like banging on

123
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,239
Speaker 2: the door. I locked, which the Primaries off the kitchen,

124
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 2: so exited the kitchen went into my bedroom. Anyway, he

125
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,040
Speaker 2: came around the side because I hadn't thought about that

126
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,040
Speaker 2: and I hadn't locked those doors. So he came in

127
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:28,920
Speaker 2: and he was very very upset, and he said I

128
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 2: wanted divorce.

129
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:30,400
Speaker 3: This is over.

130
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:35,040
Speaker 2: And I said, okay, great, Okay. I mean he's threatening

131
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:40,520
Speaker 2: that a million times. I don't think I've ever threatened that,

132
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,360
Speaker 2: like ever, and there were times where I desperately wanted it,

133
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,600
Speaker 2: but like, I would never throw that in someone's face

134
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,880
Speaker 2: if I didn't actually mean it and so anyway, because

135
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:56,160
Speaker 2: words like I don't know, people forget feelings, but you'd

136
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,439
Speaker 2: always remember words.

137
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:02,960
Speaker 1: And so when he threatened it and you said fine,

138
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,400
Speaker 1: were you at the point where you were ready or.

139
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,440
Speaker 3: Was this to you just another fight where that was thrown?

140
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:16,120
Speaker 2: Ugh, that was another fight. It's just another Friday night. Yeah,

141
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,600
Speaker 2: sure did, because I didn't have the balls sleave, like,

142
00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:26,400
Speaker 2: you know, why do you have to have balls sleave? Anyway,

143
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,600
Speaker 2: all of a sudden it was on Instagram, and it

144
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,360
Speaker 2: was one of those like weird when you know, two

145
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:41,720
Speaker 2: celebrities kind of a publicist crafts a joint statement and

146
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,840
Speaker 2: you asked for privacy and you both posted, but he

147
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,719
Speaker 2: was the only one posting it, but it read as

148
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,920
Speaker 2: if it was coming from both of us, which I

149
00:09:51,040 --> 00:10:01,080
Speaker 2: was like, whoa. My daughter found it first and said, mom,

150
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:07,080
Speaker 2: dad just posted on social media. That's you guys are

151
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:13,760
Speaker 2: getting a divorce. And I said what And then I

152
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:21,480
Speaker 2: looked at it and it was I'm not kidding you, guys.

153
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:28,319
Speaker 2: I felt like this giant rock had been lifted off

154
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:33,240
Speaker 2: my chest. I could breathe deeply, and I was like.

155
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,079
Speaker 5: Oh my god, he said it.

156
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:42,319
Speaker 2: He said it, So now I'm free, like everything has

157
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:47,160
Speaker 2: started and this I couldn't do it, and he did it,

158
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,520
Speaker 2: and now I can move on.

159
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,080
Speaker 3: He's put it out there, let's go.

160
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:55,040
Speaker 2: Yes, I needed this, you know, like I couldn't do

161
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:59,800
Speaker 2: it myself, so I thought, you know, And then.

162
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,760
Speaker 3: A beat after that, Estella started.

163
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 2: Crying and she said, no, mom, you're acting like this

164
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:11,160
Speaker 2: is a good thing. And I was like, no, no, no,

165
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 2: but I'm just saying and she's like, do you know

166
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,560
Speaker 2: how embarrassing my friends have to read this? And then

167
00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:22,640
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I felt so shamed again.

168
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,960
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, oh no, I didn't think

169
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:33,400
Speaker 2: of it that way. I was just like I'm free, yeah, okay,

170
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,800
Speaker 2: and he's and she was like he needs to take

171
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,600
Speaker 2: this down and I was like yeah, yeah, okay, yep.

172
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,280
Speaker 2: So you know, he was in his bedroom, we were

173
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,400
Speaker 2: in ours. I called him, he wouldn't pick up. I

174
00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:50,520
Speaker 2: texted him, he wouldn't pick up. Stella texted him and

175
00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:53,840
Speaker 2: he was like he was still you know, at that point,

176
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,920
Speaker 2: he was in the height of his addiction, so he

177
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,800
Speaker 2: wasn't understanding and clearly what she was asking and what

178
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,520
Speaker 2: was happening to everyone around him at that moment. So

179
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,480
Speaker 2: he was like, you don't understand. It's been a long

180
00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:13,319
Speaker 2: time coming. You know, Mom and I are going to

181
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,079
Speaker 2: co parent everything. And she's like, she literally said, Dad,

182
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,920
Speaker 2: you're not understanding. It's not about that. You guys can

183
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,240
Speaker 2: get a divorce, you should, but you just put it

184
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,960
Speaker 2: out there publicly before we've dealt with it, Like that

185
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:35,320
Speaker 2: shouldn't be the case anyway, you know, you know what happens,

186
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,280
Speaker 2: like as soon as it's out there, one person takes

187
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:41,840
Speaker 2: one screenshot and it doesn't matter if you delete it.

188
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:47,480
Speaker 2: It's permanent. So no, but he did delete it at

189
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:52,760
Speaker 2: eleven am on Saturday morning. That was a rough night

190
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:58,360
Speaker 2: with the kids. Yeah, he deleted it, but it was

191
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,959
Speaker 2: out there everywhere, every where. And what made it worse

192
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:06,240
Speaker 2: is I didn't comment, like so it was like I

193
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:11,880
Speaker 2: hadn't It's like I didn't exist, you know, like I

194
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:16,320
Speaker 2: had my story, the kids had their story. He needed help,

195
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,440
Speaker 2: But yeah, I had to just.

196
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:28,800
Speaker 6: Watch the stories trickle out of what was happening, and

197
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,600
Speaker 6: then people following and saying he took it down, you know,

198
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:36,280
Speaker 6: obviously prompted by spelling, like and he's taken it down now,

199
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:37,200
Speaker 6: So what's going on?

200
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 2: Are they not going a divorce?

201
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:39,120
Speaker 3: Was it a fight?

202
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,040
Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, please, let us get

203
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,800
Speaker 2: a divorce. If it was up to me, he wouldn't

204
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,880
Speaker 2: have taken it down, but it hurt the kids, so

205
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:47,840
Speaker 2: they wanted it down.

206
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:59,199
Speaker 5: But yeah, so.

207
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:04,800
Speaker 1: What happened next that next day? Like when did he

208
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:05,840
Speaker 1: move out?

209
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,920
Speaker 2: We took it down on Saturday. Sunday was Father's Day.

210
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:16,960
Speaker 2: I pulled it together enough to make.

211
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:17,960
Speaker 3: A charcouterie board.

212
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,400
Speaker 2: It was a really good one too. We all had that.

213
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:30,960
Speaker 2: We played a game of clue with Dean. We did

214
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,680
Speaker 2: what we usually did, which is the same thing we

215
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,000
Speaker 2: did growing up in my house. We didn't talk about emotions,

216
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,720
Speaker 2: just went on as if nothing happened. Everyone pretend nothing happened.

217
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:46,920
Speaker 2: Here we go, put her on a happy face. Yeah,

218
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,880
Speaker 2: and then, you know, at the same time, we were

219
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,000
Speaker 2: dealing with mold in our house and we had to

220
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,120
Speaker 2: get out of that house anyway.

221
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,920
Speaker 3: So we left. We left.

222
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,000
Speaker 2: The kids and I left and we never went back.

223
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:13,160
Speaker 2: That was on June eighteen nineteen, that Monday morning. Yeah,

224
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,280
Speaker 2: we never went back. He stayed take care of the

225
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,880
Speaker 2: animals until he finished moving out of that house, and

226
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:26,160
Speaker 2: then he I helped find a rehab for him to

227
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:37,520
Speaker 2: go to, and he went and he was there one month,

228
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:44,040
Speaker 2: oh yeah, one or two months, and then he went

229
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 2: to sober living. Anyway, he's been sober since June twenty

230
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:59,800
Speaker 2: twenty three, and I'm very proud of him. And we've

231
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:04,560
Speaker 2: been down this road before, no one really publicly now

232
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 2: was like a few times. And I hope for him

233
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 2: and for the kids that it sticks. I really do.

234
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 1: Given how much time has passed between that fateful night

235
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:25,200
Speaker 1: when he posted the Instagram post and now, I think

236
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 1: a lot of people thought this is never going to happen.

237
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,280
Speaker 1: They're not actually going to get divorced.

238
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:37,440
Speaker 2: And people have been writing our story and the outcome

239
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:42,680
Speaker 2: of our marriage since we got married. They literally were like,

240
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 2: it won't last six months. Then I had something to prove,

241
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,960
Speaker 2: you know, go big or get home, screw you. I'll

242
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:58,520
Speaker 2: make it last eighteen painful years. I like even numbers.

243
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 2: I'm glad it ended on an eight. Yeah, so.

244
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, they had.

245
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,400
Speaker 2: I mean you could pull up fifty million tabloids that say,

246
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 2: like Tori Spelling, d McDermott divorcing, and this was like

247
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,120
Speaker 2: two years, three years into our marriage. They've been writing

248
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 2: those stories since then.

249
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 3: And it's just like.

250
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,240
Speaker 2: Life imitating art, Like I don't know, maybe finally took

251
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,119
Speaker 2: a page and listened, like, shit, if everyone thinks we

252
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:36,040
Speaker 2: should get divorced, maybe we should, they were correct.

253
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:41,119
Speaker 1: Curious, now that he's sober, like through this process, have

254
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:45,240
Speaker 1: you reconsidered I mean, obviously you filed for divorce today,

255
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 1: so you didn't. But curious if along these months you

256
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 1: rethought the decision when you saw he was doing so well.

257
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I honestly had spent time taking care of

258
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 2: the kids and focusing on them, and they weren't ready

259
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,440
Speaker 2: to see their dad. And I went to see him

260
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:13,920
Speaker 2: once when he was in rehab and we were with

261
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:20,679
Speaker 2: therapists and it got painful and argumentative.

262
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 3: It was a lot.

263
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 2: It was a lot, and I didn't feel like he

264
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 2: was doing well, like there was still a lot of

265
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:36,399
Speaker 2: anger and aggression, and so I didn't go back. And

266
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 2: I know that hurt him a lot. He felt like

267
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,080
Speaker 2: we abandoned him when he was going through that process.

268
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,280
Speaker 2: But I had to do what was right for the kids,

269
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:52,680
Speaker 2: and I, you know, we just had to get through

270
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 2: and do what was right for them at the time.

271
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,480
Speaker 2: And you know, I do.

272
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 3: He says, like, oh, I felt like you guys.

273
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,439
Speaker 2: Didn't check in on my progress and didn't and I

274
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 2: was like, you know what I was told by so

275
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 2: many people that have been with addicts, and that sometimes

276
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,120
Speaker 2: you go into a place for nine months and you're

277
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,400
Speaker 2: not allowed to contact your spouse or your family and

278
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:20,680
Speaker 2: you just have to do your work. And so it

279
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 2: wasn't that I wasn't checking in. I was letting you

280
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:30,440
Speaker 2: do what you need to do. And I wasn't consciously like, oh,

281
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,919
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do this like I just I

282
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 2: was in the moment, going with five kids and their

283
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 2: emotions which were all over the place, while you know,

284
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:48,159
Speaker 2: simultaneously being put all over the press that I was

285
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 2: homeless and like living in an RV, and just it

286
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,199
Speaker 2: was like there was such other Matt. You know, we

287
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,439
Speaker 2: had an airbnb like next door to a drug who

288
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,439
Speaker 2: knew that until the morning when they're like, uh, you

289
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 2: need to vacate And the police showed up in the

290
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,920
Speaker 2: swat and like there's an armed guy next door, and

291
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 2: it's like.

292
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 3: What that with a hostage?

293
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 2: We're like cool, Yeah, I thought it was a little

294
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 2: too quiet over there. Glad I didn't ever go over

295
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 2: and knock on the door for sugar. Don't know what

296
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 2: I would have gotten, but it's yeah, like our lives

297
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 2: didn't stop. My life never stops. There's always something. So

298
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 2: I had to just focus and oh, have I reconsidered.

299
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. There's moments where I'm like, should

300
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 2: I have stayed? What? What are the long term ramifications

301
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 2: on the children of staying in a marriage where they

302
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 2: have a family, they're in the same house, it's all intact,

303
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 2: you move fluidly, but there's so much unhappiness and so

304
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 2: much anger. At what point is it worth it to

305
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 2: have to have them go through that process where they're

306
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 2: separated and they go see different parents And I don't know,

307
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 2: Like I didn't know the answer to that till I

308
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 2: was in it. And and there's still times where I'm like, oh,

309
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 2: you know, because we do now have like family dinners

310
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:37,640
Speaker 2: with Dean and his girlfriend. I didn't mean to say

311
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: it like that. It's just it's it's I would like

312
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 2: her a lot. I like Lily a lot. It's not that,

313
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 2: it's just, you know, it's different, right, It's just you know, Sorry.

314
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 2: I laugh when I get nervous. I make jokes when

315
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 2: I'm nervous. So I don't know how to process it.

316
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: Dean is a very good looking man that has never changed.

317
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 2: I think it just there was so much resentment built

318
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: up that I couldn't go back to that, which goes

319
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 2: to my theory. Now, I don't know if I believe

320
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 2: that everyone should end up with the person they have

321
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 2: kids with. I just don't know if it's ultimately possible.

322
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 2: I think while that is, you're human to create and

323
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,399
Speaker 2: it comes out of love. Obviously you have to have

324
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 2: so much love to create and keep creating the family.

325
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 2: But it breaks a relationship. And I'm amazed when people

326
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 2: like now now that I'm hey, guys, I'm getting divorce.

327
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 2: Uh see, every time it gets easier and people are like,

328
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 2: I've been married fifty years, of kids, grandkids, I'm like, wow, Like,

329
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 2: I don't know how I think ye, I don't know.

330
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 2: It's my belief. Now we have like two soulmates or

331
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 2: two partners that we're supposed to have, one for that

332
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: chapter and one for our chapter where it becomes about us.

333
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 2: It's funny it goes from about us to about others

334
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:21,399
Speaker 2: to back to being about us again. And yeah, like

335
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 2: any partner I have now, I'm sure I'll look at

336
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 2: them if they've had kids and be like, wow, I

337
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 2: couldn't have had kids with you, Like it would have

338
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 2: just like ruined what we have. It's challenging.

339
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 1: So what are you thinking about for this next chapter?

340
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 1: I mean, the divorce is just happening now, but you

341
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,919
Speaker 1: must have given some thought to will you date again?

342
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 1: Could you ever see yourself getting married again?

343
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 2: Oh? Love? Planning a wedding? Jayla? Did it? How many times?

344
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: Four times? There you go? Sure?

345
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 3: Elizabeth Taylor?

346
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 2: How many times? Eight? Sure? Why not?

347
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: That's not your priority right now?

348
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 2: Should I make it my priority?

349
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:29,880
Speaker 1: I don't think so much.

350
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 3: You know what? I hate you?

351
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: Sorry you say this all the time. I'm talking to

352
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 2: Ruthan right now. Be with yourself. Be happy with yourself.

353
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 2: I don't want to be with myself. I don't know.

354
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: And people are like, wait, this is a lot. You

355
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 2: should be happy with yourself alone. I haven't been alone,

356
00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 2: like I like, honestly, like I still don't poople, like

357
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 2: bo still stands there and stares and talks to me

358
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 2: like while I'm pooping, Like it's just like I don't know.

359
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:14,239
Speaker 2: I haven't pooped peede alone in eighteen years. Yeah, vers

360
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 2: it was dean and it was kids. Like, I don't know.

361
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 2: I think I functioned better with people. Is that codependent?

362
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 3: Yes? Cool?

363
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 2: Redefine it. Oh, and I have one friend he's a

364
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 2: recovering attitude, so he too, I said, like it's me.

365
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 2: But because my husband is ex husband, wait, I can

366
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 2: call him my ex husband now a strange let's fun

367
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 2: say strange husband. I still say babe. I always called

368
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 2: him babe. Like I say babe in front of his girlfriend,

369
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what am I supposed to call him dean?

370
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 2: Like I have not called him dean in eighteen years,

371
00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 2: Like it's so weird. I guess when I get a

372
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 2: boyfriend or someone else that I call babe, I guess

373
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 2: I'll stop calling him babe. I hope it's going to

374
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 2: be amicable. We're co parenting very well right now, like yeah,

375
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 2: you know, like the kids are seeing him again and

376
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 2: they're happy with his progress and the work he's done

377
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 2: on himself, and they're proud of him, and we like

378
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 2: his girlfriend, and we all co parent together and live

379
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 2: in the dream. I don't know.

380
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, you hope it works out like that.

381
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: You always hope that. I don't know. I don't know

382
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 2: what's going to happen now, because now it's kind of

383
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: out of our hands and it's going to be with

384
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 2: lawyers and courts, and I think they're not quite always

385
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 2: used to things not getting messy with celebrities, So I

386
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't think either of us wanted to

387
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:12,120
Speaker 2: get messy. Life's messy. I don't know, probably