WEBVTT - Survivor's Guilt 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:04.120 and The Black Effect. 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:16.800 Oh Shit, be back on the air. 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:19.680 Welcome back to get another Canfully Reckless episode with your 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:20.120 girl Jess. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:21.120 Hilarious. What I be doing. 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:22.760 I be fixing mess and I'll be fixing it all 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:25.479 the time, and now not only on my podcast, which 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.960 drops every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast. Now, I 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:31.400 don't gotta say all that anyway, I do it on 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:33.919 Breakfast Club Now every Thursday. 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:34.440 So y'all can call up. 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:37.200 The number is one eight hundred and five eighty five, 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:41.519 one oh five one the j Infies line hit it up. 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.560 So anyway, the first story somebody sent me this long 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:50.920 ass excerpt this is. This is longer than a passage. Okay, 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:53.040 this is like a chapter of a book. And y'all 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:56.520 know pregnant jest do Now, I do all everything, So please, 0:00:56.560 --> 0:00:58.440 I'm gonna have one of my producers read from me 0:00:58.520 --> 0:00:59.800 and then I'll fix the mess. 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:01.360 Hey, Jess, I. 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:04.240 Need some on relationship advice, as in, how do you 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.040 get rid of someone who just won't let a relationship go. 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:10.360 I'm completely over the father of my children. We've been 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:13.480 together almost ten years and I was completely in love 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:15.759 with that man and thought he was my best friend 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:18.080 and soulmate. It must have been the sex because I 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:22.280 was completely digmatized. He played me damn near the entire relationship, 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:24.720 but I didn't find out until two years ago, and 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.959 it's been a complete mess. I suspected him cheating and 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:31.080 things fell off, but I never had proof or he 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:32.000 made it seem like. 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:32.760 I was crazy. 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:36.040 Two years ago, I was eight months pregnant and engaged 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:38.200 in him. I picked up his pants and his phone 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:42.520 fell out his pocket unlocked. It's like God was basically 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:44.960 telling me to see the truth. What was in the 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:48.120 phone was way more than I ever expected, and he 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:52.440 was complete slut, even fucking around with women I knew 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.200 and saying the money as gifts while not helping with 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.680 the household. To make it worse, he messed with women 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:01.080 at the apartment complex we've lived at, even our most 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:01.880 recent place. 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.240 I'm so over his lives and bullshit. 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:06.480 Last year, I was ready to get my own place, 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:08.560 but he guilt tripped me and said it was best 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:10.440 for the kids to stay together another year. 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:12.800 Well, this year has been hell. 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.400 He's so toxic and it still has drama with females 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.800 coming to my door tells me I'm making things up. 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.360 I can't deal with this. So recently I got my 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:25.040 own place without him knowing. The lease is almost up, 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:27.680 and I'm doing everything in my power to jumpstart this 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:30.480 man into finding a place to live or even rehome 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:33.440 him to another bitch for all I care, But he 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.679 refuses to accept it and still makes it seem like 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.360 we are going to be together. His family refuses to 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:40.280 help and even encourages. 0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:40.639 Him to stay with me. 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:42.520 I don't even know what to do to get rid 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:45.079 of this man because he literally needs me for everything 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:49.240 housing and transportation. Yes, he works, but rarely helps with 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:52.120 household bills. I don't want the father of my kids 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:53.840 on the street, and he still needs to watch the 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:56.120 kids while I work, But I also don't want him 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:58.440 laid up in my new apartment. Think he could say there, 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:01.040 we don't have family that can help with the kids, 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:02.440 so it's just us taking care of them. 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.280 So we were basically stuck with each other. Any advice 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:05.960 t'n be. 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:08.720 Homing my baby daddy, and so don't fill in the 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:11.880 blinks that you are not having sex at all and 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:13.720 there's no chance to ever getting back together. 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.280 Just big with everything. Y'all listen, I have but everything 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:20.320 before I jump into our story. I got everything big 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:22.960 for the first time, so it's gonna have my breath 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:26.160 like real oniony, but the cream cheese and it. 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:31.080 Is toasted with extra butter. Baby, thank you. That's all 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:35.720 I gotta say. Now. I do not like calling my 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:37.160 beautiful black woman clowns. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:39.960 But baby, i'd be lying if I say you as 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.960 in lying, you are a clown. And sometimes we have 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:44.840 to tell each other this so we can pick ourselves 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:48.120 up and dust ourselves off and try again. Why are 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:52.480 you worried about a man who don't give a damn 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:55.200 about your feelings at the end of the day, being 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:56.800 put out on a damn street. 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:58.400 Oh, because he the father of my children. 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:00.320 He didn't give a fuck that she was the mother 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:02.000 of his kids when he was cheating on your ass 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:04.040 for the past ten years. What you just found out 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:06.480 about two years ago, all because his phone was slipped 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:07.360 out the pocket. 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:08.440 And you washing his clothes. 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:13.400 What I believe if he ain't putting his hands on you, 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:15.400 if he ain't got no gun to your head, if 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:19.040 he is not holding your children hostage, if he ain't 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:20.800 doing none of this car. 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:22.800 You can leave his ass. Let him be on the 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:23.600 fucking streets. 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:26.279 Now, Listen, what he may do is go be with 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:28.359 somebody else for the convenience of it. Because he seems 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:30.600 to like being taken care of and his family raised 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:30.880 them wrong. 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:31.520 Don't give a fuck. 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:33.599 Wud nobody say they raise them wrong because they're still 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.719 encouraging his cheating ass to be with you. That's because 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:40.120 you're taking care of him. You're not responsible for your 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.800 children's father. You're responsible for the children just like he is. 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.880 Leave his ass. Talk about oh, and don't there's no 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.680 feeling the blanks. We're not sleeping together. We're not what 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:52.800 happens when you want to date the fuck because I 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.240 know he's still dating. He just probably ain't bringing the 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:58.279 bitches around you. And also, if you're able to take 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:00.400 care of him, then you should be able to take 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.200 care of getting a babysit up for your kids. 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:04.480 Why you gotta do anything? Look, I don't care. I 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:05.000 do not care. 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.880 I see mom's do it all the time, without their families, 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:12.719 without friend groups, without support groups, all that. Like we 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:15.720 do it women, We do it all. No discredit to men, 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:18.000 because every man out there not like that. And we 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:21.520 have a lot of heartworking dads. But women, come on, now, 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:24.720 we do this shit. You feel sorry for him, yourse 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:26.960 to have a soft spot for him. That's crazy. He 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:29.640 didn't have not one fucking soft spot for you. You can't 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:31.719 seem to shake them. You can't, girl, like I said, 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.640 unless he beaten your ass up and down the house, 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:37.240 or like I said, holding you hostage, gun to your head, 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:39.919 all that you can walk the fuck out of his 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:41.360 life period. 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:44.200 Get a restraining order. Oh but then he can't see 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:44.520 the kids. 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:46.520 He wasn't worrying about that when he was with Denise, 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:48.599 Vanessa and Rudy and Claire. 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:50.760 He wasn't thinking about none of that. 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:55.080 Girl. No, I think you have lost your everlast of mind. 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:59.400 And I'm sorry for all my aggression, but sweetie, you 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:02.440 can do better. And sometimes a lot of us women 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.680 need to be told that by other women who are 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.120 completely unbiased. Like I'm not your friend. I don't know you, 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.000 never saw you a day in my life. You know 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.800 what I'm saying, So I don't know you. This is 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:14.760 just like anonymous. You know, I'm hearing a story and 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:17.800 I'm telling another woman what she could do, what she 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:18.520 should do. 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.240 You know what I'm saying. You still love them? I 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:21.680 know you do. 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:23.760 You know I'm not saying that you are attracted so 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:25.680 on or you don't you know what I'm saying, because 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:29.120 all right, taking account me and my son's father, we 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:33.240 are way past intimacy. We're not, you know, attracted to 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.560 each other anymore. I haven't dated Rome since before our 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:38.560 baby turn one year old. Like that's just how that is, 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:40.480 you know. And I often say that we're like brother 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:43.279 and sister. So I would give Rome the shirt off 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:44.920 my back, yes I will, But I would not give 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:46.760 him a place to stay in my house because I 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:48.120 am in a relationship. 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:50.880 I'm moving forward. That's just that's a no. 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:50.960 No. 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:53.159 There are still boundaries. That's why I'm telling you this. 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:56.520 There are still boundaries that has to be set and 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:58.480 have to be put between you and your baby daddy. 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:00.360 What's wrong with him getting a fucking y'all? If he 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:03.039 ain't got no record with even niggas with records, fuck 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:06.080 a record. Even men with records are able to get jobs. 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.680 He got to start from somewhere. You cannot carry him 0:07:08.720 --> 0:07:10.840 as one of your kids. That's just not what it is. 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:13.560 That's not what it's supposed to be. But about what 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:16.720 I was saying about Rome, Me and Rome are close enough. Well, 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:18.240 I never want to see him on the street either, 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:19.560 but he can't come into my house. 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:21.360 He can't. 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.840 And a man, a real man, would never let himself 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:28.880 be on the fucking streets. You know, of course it's circumstantial. 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:31.440 But if this nigga got all the sense and all 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:33.720 the high mighty power to go cheat back to back 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:37.720 like that and sending money to other bitches, this nigga 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:40.680 was fucking with bitches and y'all complex where y'all live, 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:43.800 and you worried about him being thrown out on the streets? 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:48.280 Are you dumb? I'm sorry, Like, uh, we're not going 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:50.520 for that. Sometimes we need tough love as women, and 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.680 I'm here to give it. But I'm serious, like this man, 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.000 this is not what love is supposed to be. This 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.240 is not even what a friendship looks like. He don't 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.640 respect you, says, why the fuck you sending money that 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:04.080 you don't have or that you claim you don't have 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:05.800 when it comes to me putting your ass out on 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.360 other bitches to other bitches, like why what are we doing? 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:11.120 What are we doing here? His priorities is all fucked up. 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:13.200 It seemed like you were engaged to a kid. You 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:17.040 had babies by baby a baby mindset ass Nigga, we're 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:20.040 not doing that. We shouldn't do that in twenty twenty four. 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:22.200 We shouldn't have never been doing it, like we shouldn't 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:25.800 have been ever doing it. But it needs to stop now, 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.080 So you need to get back in touch with me 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:28.920 and update me. 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:29.560 Sorry. 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:31.360 Like I said, sorry for the tough love, but baby, 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:32.679 we need to give it to each other because I 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.199 would want somebody to talk to me like this if 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:38.280 I was, you know, stuck in a situation like this, 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:40.120 How the hell you stuck? No, that's some shit you 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:42.880 speaking over yourself. You ain't stuck with him. No, his 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:47.240 aad stuck. He's stuck in his own way, So get 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:49.760 out of your way and push his ads to the side. 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.600 Raise your kids, and when it's time for you to date, 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:53.800 you go date shit. 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:56.040 But check back in with me, boom. 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:58.800 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:08:58.840 --> 0:08:59.800 then we'll be right back. 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:02.160 Next story. 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:04.800 I'm gonna have Tailor read again because I got finished 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:05.800 the other hand of my bage wheel. 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.760 Hey, Jess, I just needed some advice about my job. 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.840 I feel like I'm very stuck, almost like I'm trapped 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:16.679 at this job. I'm a carrier, so I kind of 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.400 like FedEx or ups, but I'm actually an independent contractor, 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:22.959 so I own my own vehicle, but I don't make 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:24.760 my own hours or any of the cool stuff that 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.360 you actually get owning your business. And I have been 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.440 working here for almost three years. My uncles are the managers. 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:32.720 The job itself is not bad, but I can't take 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:37.600 all the arguments between the employees myself, included the vehicle issues, 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:41.680 which I'm responsible for. Because I'm an independent contractor, I 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:44.160 can never do any of my side stuff on a 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:47.240 consistent schedule basis because I never know when I'm going 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.280 to start in the day or when i will finish 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:52.280 in the day. So I actually have a YouTube channel 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:55.960 Tasha die Oh, But because I never know when I 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.200 will start or finish, I can't dedicate as much as 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:01.239 my time to my YouTube channel or my only fans. 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.000 It's very frustrating because I have so many ideas for 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.439 my YouTube channel and more than what I want to do. 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:09.480 But by the time I finish work, I'm very tired 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:12.520 because my job is very physical. Then on my days off, 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:14.319 I had to tend to my family and any other 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:16.800 things I couldn't get done during the week. And I 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.560 also believe that part of my feelings stem from me 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:22.320 knowing what I want to do and trying to take 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.720 the steps to do that, but not having very many 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:28.400 options because of where I live. I live in Rockford, Illinois, 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.679 so there's not much going on here, but I am 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:34.319 very interested in photography and videography. Also, I would like 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:36.560 to take my YouTube channel and kind of make it 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:39.840 a podcast, but there isn't very much business for that 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:42.200 sort of thing around here. I just want to know 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.319 if you had any advice that you could pass along 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:46.840 to me, maybe how I can get my foot in 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.280 the door. But also there's my job that I have now. 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:51.800 I'm just in a tough spot because I just I 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:53.920 get paid a lot of money. Well for me, it's 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.280 a lot of money. If I got paid hourly, I 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:59.120 would get paid between twenty three and twenty five dollars 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.680 an hour. I don't actually have any real skills, so 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.600 I can't just go somewhere and start out at that much. 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:07.120 So that's why I'm having such a tough time, because 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:09.480 I don't want to take a pay cut if I'm 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.199 not going to be doing something that is helping towards 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:13.280 my career goal. 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.680 So I like how she saw it talking about I'm 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:19.600 having all these problems, like with my job. 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.760 It's not working out for me, Like you know, I 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:27.199 feel like basically I'm a host to this job and 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:33.800 I don't have time for my only fans. What girl, Listen, 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.680 if I tell people all the time, if you're doing 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:39.120 something that don't bring you joy, if you're doing something 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:43.360 that doesn't seem passionate to you and it feels purposeless 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:47.880 and you're not happy and you can manage financially, do 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.040 what you want to do. It seems like you do 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:53.360 have a passion for, you know, talking to people with 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:56.599 communications so YouTube, being blogging and you said you have 0:11:56.640 --> 0:12:01.240 a podcast that you're starting and stuff like that. That girl, 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.160 I'm not one to tell people quit jobs, because as 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.720 hard as it is to get a goddamn job, and 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.120 you sit in me here complaining about one, it's just 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.880 ass backwards. However, if it's not bringing you joy in 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:17.439 your stress and every day you find your peace disturbed, girl, 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:22.600 quit the job and do what you are most passionate about. 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:26.200 I see a whole lot of people that stream, you know, 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.520 they're only fans and they make money off their YouTube 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:30.720 and all that. But building a platform, I'm telling you, baby, 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.480 it's not easy. So un let's Tasha dot Oh already 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.280 got a lot of subscribers. You will not be making 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:37.760 money like you was at your job. 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:40.120 I think. I don't know if you pray. 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:43.880 I don't know if you know if you are religious 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:45.840 in any fashion or whatever. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.160 But I'm a Christian woman, and I pray. 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:52.400 I pray every day every day of my life, you know, 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:55.600 and certain things I pray for When I'm confused about 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:58.000 certain things. I don't go to people for advice. That's 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.319 why I'm happy that y'all come to me. But I 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.480 don't go to people for advice because I don't like 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:03.439 for people to tell me what to day. 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:04.559 But go it. 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:09.040 So I pray. So just pray on it fast, like 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:12.360 do you know? That's my advice to you. You do 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:16.120 make good money, all right, So I say, give yourself 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:20.280 about another year there, stack your money, save it, you know, 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:21.600 pay your bills. That mean you're gonna have to cut 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:23.560 out all your extra expenses, you know, whether it's just 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.400 leisure or just for pleasure. Cut all of that shit out, 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:29.640 really grind, build that savings account up, and then you 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.160 can invest into your business. Or why not stay at 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:39.280 your job and use the money to invest into your 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.520 blog and invest into your cause. Listen, I'm telling you 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:46.720 you don't just gain a platform overnight. You need to invest. 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:49.240 You need to I'm talking about get videographers. That comes 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:52.839 with videographers and photographers and shit like you got to 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:55.440 stand out these days. That is a very competitive space 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:58.680 because who the hell don't got a podcast? Okay, Like 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:02.520 when I say, I'm so sick up everybody fucking having 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:06.440 a podcast, I ain't trying discourage you, but goddamn, what 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:07.520 do you be talking about on here? 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.880 But let me calm down. 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:14.920 I think you should use the money that you have 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:19.200 to invest in your business that you really want to develop, 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:21.280 that you really want to get off the ground, and 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:22.640 you want a catapult. 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:23.440 That's what you want to do. 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:26.720 But nothing happens overnight and you can't look at your 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:30.480 career or something that you want to do is microwavable, 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:31.640 that's so instant. 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:33.840 You're not gonna be able to do that. You can't. 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:37.920 I've been doing this shit for about not podcasting. I'm 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:42.880 talking about, you know, being in the social Like this 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:44.800 is my ninth year. Now you get what I'm saying. 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.240 I started this shit in twenty fourteen, so no, this 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:49.600 is my tenth year. Like I started this ship when 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:51.080 my son was two years old. 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:52.120 You get what I'm saying. 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:56.200 And I done went through so many hardships, you know, 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.520 like with trying to build a brand and marketing, it's 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:00.920 a lot to go into it and just having a 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:02.520 bunch of followers and a bunch of subscribers. 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:03.640 You gotta work at that shit. 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:06.280 That's why all those people that you see at the top, 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.760 they didn't just blow up last night, you know, like 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:13.280 ad Era, You remember Diarra and Ken they were doing 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.640 this shit like a long time ago. You know, some 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:19.080 of the biggest bloggers been in this shit for like 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:20.960 what six seven years plus. 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:23.400 So if you quit your job, you don't want them 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:24.040 my fucking money. 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.640 Now, you said that you like videography and photography, you 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:29.560 need to start offering your services. That's gonna get you 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.600 out there and start getting you booked and stuff like that. 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:33.960 You know, do you own a camera? Do you own 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:35.800 any equipment? That's why I'm saying That's why if you 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.800 don't you need that job, because that shit gets expensive 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.240 as well, cameras and like I said, lighting and all 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.240 that shit, and even taking short classes like you know, 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:46.560 like these seminars. Not all of them are scams, but 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:49.200 some of them actually do teach you shit, you know, 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:53.040 consultations or whatever. You know. My video guy does consultations. 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:56.240 I loos work on Instagram. He does all my edits 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:57.680 and that's the guy that you see that makes my 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:01.720 video magic, my visual magic on my page and stuff. 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:03.760 You really have to put yourself out there. But I 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.760 wouldn't leave my job just yet. I get it, but try. 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:07.120 Oh way. 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:09.800 If you're an independent contractor, what you should do is 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:11.440 you should be able to make your own schedule right 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:13.200 or you should be able to at least work for 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.480 these and take three for yourself to do your business. 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:18.520 How old are you did she say how old she was? 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:21.240 I'm guessing you're fairly young, but check back in with me. 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.640 You know, I think it'll be wrong for you to 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:25.920 walk away from your job now, especially since you make 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.760 good money, Especially if you don't have any kids or anything. 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:30.400 You really have nothing holding you back. 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.480 Stack your money and invest in yourself, so when you 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:37.320 finally leave your job, it can be for more than 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.160 just the reason of or I got my own blog, 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:42.920 I got No, I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a CEO of this, that, 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:45.040 and the other. I make my own business. I mean, 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:47.560 you know, I make my own money, and that'll be 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.680 your success story. I used my nine to five to 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:58.960 pay for my entrepreneurship period. All right, girl, So so 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.360 make sure you update me on your progress, you know, 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:02.800 just just let me know. But I do want to 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:05.280 know how old you are as well. It does sound 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.159 like you're fairly young, and that is the end of 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:07.800 that story, looks. 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:08.720 So we got one more. 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:11.000 Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good, 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:13.320 but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:14.520 If you love me, you'll listen. 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:18.520 Oh we got a voice note, Shaw, we got a 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:20.320 voice note. Okay, here y'alls. 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.399 Yeah. So my question was basically, being from Baltimore, I 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:25.960 wanted to know, like, as a first generation in college student, 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:27.520 I see a lot of myself and justin how she 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:29.560 was able to put both theom on the map. So 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.400 my question basically is how is just able to navigate 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:36.240 her success and enjoy it while not letting survivors get 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:38.960 to her, because coming out the city, it can feel like, Okay, 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:40.400 I'm the only one that made it out, and that's 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:41.640