WEBVTT - Ep 257: The Cl*t is Not a DJ Booth (Ft. Michelle Hope) 0:00:02.520 --> 0:00:09.080 Guess what decision we're about to make a horrible decisions. Hey, guys, 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:14.640 welcome to she forgot the name of the show. Another 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.880 episode of horrible decisions. I'm your girl, Mad d V 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:20.960 A K stating a full core punks a k A debt, 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:25.040 motherfucking Beach, and I'm sitting next to Hey, I'm sweezy, 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:31.080 and we are joining also that girl, Well, I'm that bitch. 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:34.480 You could be that girl. Um. And we are joined 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:37.240 today by someone who has been on our podcast. I 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:39.120 feel like at least once a year. You've been on 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.239 here about three two times, three times, three times our 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.600 live show, our live show, yes where we brought a 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:48.519 pussy puppet. I've been to friends. So that's why I talk. 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:52.360 My God, I'm done hearing about motherfucking France. We are 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:57.160 joined today by Michelle Hope, who is a sexpert and 0:00:57.320 --> 0:00:59.600 everything else under the sun. And I would say and 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:02.280 act to best a sexpert. I was gonna say, activists 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:06.360 actually think that I think about It's good. I love that, 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.720 not that I don't think of sex right, but like, 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:12.600 if I had to pick something else right, activism would 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:14.680 be it. You know, I say activism because you talked 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:18.280 about sex. So like educationally, i'd be like, damn, bitch, 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:21.240 this bit smart, Like the way we read about it, 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:25.800 I don't. I mean I read Twitter. Yeah, sometimes and 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:28.040 sometimes you can get good information from there. You know 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:32.600 what else I don't really give credit to. You introduced 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:35.880 me to old Bay. Really didn't. I don't even know 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:38.120 if you realize that. I don't. I did not. We 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:41.600 were at a party together and you saw him, you 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:43.880 knew him, so you started talking to him and you 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.880 were sucking lit as fuck. And then I was like, 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:50.600 that's normal, Michelle. But so at first I thought Michelle 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:52.320 was like flirting with him, but then also he had 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.040 a friend there, and I was like, okay, so now 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.120 it's this nigga that she's flirting. We also can't get 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.360 the vibe because who does Michelle want to fuck? Probably 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:02.400 both at the same dayn time. No, I'm just who knows? 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:04.320 Who knows? That's but you know when you're just like 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:06.280 which one is my home girl? On? So then I 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:08.040 remember when he came back to get my number, I 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:11.600 was like, oh, are you and he was like, oh, 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:14.720 that's like we who I've been knowing her for years? Why? 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:17.160 I mean, did she like I was like, I don't know, nigga, 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:18.760 I'm trying to figure out where I fit in. And 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:21.400 it's crazy because she has that connection to you. She 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:23.239 actually went on a date with my man before he 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:27.880 was my man. You slide. So we so we went 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:31.200 and we uh we were protesting together and Harlem. We 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:33.400 went out to a protest uh during all of the 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:37.440 BLM movements and that was a beautiful one. Um in Harlem, 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:40.240 and he came and picked me up and they they 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:42.160 both like kind of was like I think I know 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:47.000 that person years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:53.880 low one and uh literally then um, he was like, 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.720 what's her name? And I started, I said, that's my friend. 0:02:56.919 --> 0:02:58.600 She does this. She was on Breakfast Club a whole 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:00.440 bunch of times like she did this, So I'm sure 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:02.040 you know of her. And then he was like, I'm 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:03.840 pretty sure. I met her a red rooster and we 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.760 went on a date. I mean, I don't love two days, 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.320 so that actually makes me feel better. Yeah, I do 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.400 love a good date. I love a good date. I 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:17.040 love a good free drink, a good meal. I mean, 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.000 hold on, because I've taken man out and been like 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:23.560 I got it. Wait, how often do you do that. 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:27.000 I mean, I ain't nowt here bawling, shot Colin or nothing. 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:28.960 But I mean I've been I've been a quick two 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:35.800 put twenty or happy. What is that Applebee's? It's like 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.760 one of them. That's the only time I'm paying. And 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:39.600 I don't even eat there no more. So looking like 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:42.360 I'm not bad, I can't. I was forced to eat 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:44.360 it a fucking Friday, so I was stuck in an airport. 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.840 They're so bad, not me because the lounge just closed, 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:50.360 not me being a bitch. I wasn't a bit because 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:52.040 I was already mad because it was a snow issue. 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:53.880 I was sitting at that Friday's like I don't even 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:55.240 eat her anymore, so I don't know what to do. 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:56.640 And she was like, bitch, do you want a burger 0:03:56.680 --> 0:03:59.000 and wings? So that's all we gotta eat you some wings. 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.240 I mean, you can't really fuck up Wayne. Nope, yes 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:04.160 you can. I mean they could be so the only 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:05.760 way you could suck them up is if you fucking 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.160 do them boneless. Okay, I like them, are you kidding? 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.560 Chicken sends at that time, the chicken their nugget. That's 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:19.920 fine to be there. It's super child giving Vegan. It's 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:24.920 because Morgan Morning Star or whatever that thing is. They're 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:28.640 they're cut into dinosaur shapes. See anybody got time for that? Anyways, 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:31.000 I wanted to start off, of course, a little light, 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:33.599 um to get the jokes, because if you know Michelle, 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:35.520 she's gonna come in with the facts today. So I 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:37.400 just wanted to start it off light with mine spreakers. 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:42.320 Bet you know ready, um so ice spreaker time, We're 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:45.360 gonna do a quick flash run of would you rather? Okay, 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.200 all right, um really feel free to jump in if 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:51.960 maybe you disagree with her answer, Um, would you rather 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:55.440 never use sex toys again? Or never use a microwave again? 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:58.440 Get rid of the microwave? Okay? And I think I 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.400 think that's easy, just because we all got of friars 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.200 and ship Now. I'm gonna be honest. I haven't had 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.200 a microwave in years. I gonna hold you. My apartment 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.200 is always are so old, even my l a crib, 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:09.520 even though it's a new building. Well, they don't come 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:11.120 with them, but I've always had to buy microwave. And 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:14.560 there's a place to put the microwave. No really, yeah, 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:21.160 they don't most most apartments, some of them do before 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.720 they do between New York now. But you barely get 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:25.480 a door. You lucky if you have a wall to 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:29.160 your bedroom. Actually a very fair point. Do you have 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:31.040 any two bedrooms? I've looked at right like it's this 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:32.880 the one toy be like, it's a flex It is 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.360 a luxury, just not to have to walk up seven 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:38.840 floors and there's an elevator door. I had the nerve 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:40.680 before I lived here, I'll suck some dude on the 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.760 fifth floor. And I was like, I'll never live like this, bitchy, 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:48.360 we're just like that. The very next uh um, Okay, 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:50.839 So the next one is would you rather have sex 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:54.880 that only ever lasted three minutes or three hours? Do 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:59.760 I get to use a vibrator three minutes? I would 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:01.800 pick three minutes or three hours? Are you kidding me? 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:07.320 What kind and every talking penetration? That mean dog? The 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.640 same way I told her when when she when you 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.960 give head, when you get head, that sex because it's 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:16.800 oral sex. I want three hours, bro, But what if 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:18.640 I'm a horny and I don't have that kind of time? 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:21.280 Because when you gotta a little into your motherfucking cow 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:24.440 rich of the microwaves like this, this is it and 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:26.280 keep it pushing. Here's the thing. No, no, no, no, 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:30.480 oh done? See what the quickies? I always want more 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.040 when I go, like for the three hours, like a 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:35.600 long night of fucking bitch. That kind of set me 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:38.640 up good for the week, Like I'd be good. I mean, 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.080 my pussy needs need a break too, but i'd be good. 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:45.200 I'd be feeling great. But if that's all you can get, no, no, no, no, 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:47.840 this is why I have loop on both sides of 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:51.000 my bed. Oh baby, And no drying is happening. If 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:53.200 I even feel like he's getting dry, you're gonna spit 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:55.200 or you're gonna use the loop what it is? You 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:58.359 know what I mean? Oh yeah, ain't no friction happening 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:01.839 in here, baby, not the bad kind of No. Okay, okay, okay, 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:05.560 I'll go to three hours. Um, last one? Would you 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:08.600 rather never have? And this is for you and I 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.840 really not not really feezy. We might have to add another, 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:16.400 uh substance? Would you rather have? Would you rather never 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.960 have another cocktail again? Or never receive oral set? Which 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:23.440 I drink alcohol just because I get drunk fast doesn't 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:26.040 mean I don't drink. I just drink less than you. 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:29.360 I mean the kind of life I live. I guess 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:31.960 oral sex is out the door. I hate to say. 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.800 I'll get a toy that simulates it. There we go, 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:37.160 you go get the rose. What's your thoughts on the rose? 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.400 Have you used the rose? Um? I've used air pulse technology, 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:47.800 which is recreated by um, but a pole technology. Woman, 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:50.120 It's it's the sex thing is the rose. It's the 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:53.320 same concept, right, Um, it's that kind of pulsating air 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:57.080 kind of sucks in and it is great. But I 0:07:57.160 --> 0:07:59.480 do want to let people know. Oh here she go. Um, 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:02.480 if you if you are pierced, you should not be 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.400 using that toy at all. Wait why because the ring 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:09.640 can get caught, It says it in the instructions. You 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:13.680 don't read the instructions. Set even go hold You just 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:17.080 look at me like, all right, we're I'm telling me 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:19.160 hold on, hold on. I'm just trying to think of 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:23.160 Mandy reading an instructions I read. No, no, no, I read, 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:26.200 I read. You go into my room, saying Mandy opened 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.520 the strap on and she's sitting in front of the 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:38.520 nick and she goes, okay, start slowly. I'm first off, wait, 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:41.920 wey sex toys don't give you instructions on how to 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:44.240 use it. I don't think it would, right, it tells 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:47.880 you where to place it wait inside of the other person. 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.319 I mean, like for something like that, it would probably 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:51.800 should I go get a sex toy from the other 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:53.400 room to see what it was like. Look like, oh, 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:57.520 there's one right here. Hold we have it. Great, We 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:01.600 love a little resident and his sex toy and bam. Okay, 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:04.800 so this don't say who's from because they ain't pay 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:06.880 for this episode. Well not for this episode, but they've 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:10.839 paid four episodes with us. All right, love honey. So 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:14.360 by the way, I have used all of them. Um, 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:19.960 but yeah, read the instruction gainners antal cat um. How 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.160 do you use your plut plug? Cover the butt plug 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:25.280 with water based anal lubricant, insert gently into the anus 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:29.320 care and safety plenty of water base Hold on, let 0:09:29.400 --> 0:09:33.040 me see, I'm saying we can't give it as a gift. 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:37.959 Now that still going to do? You know how many 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:40.240 people have given lube and anal plug ship to like 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.679 astro Glide has given us so much fucking lube. I'm like, nigga, 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:46.199 I don't know if I'll ever need this much love 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.319 in my lifetime. Like it's so much love like I 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:53.520 never had too much loo when you have an orgy. 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:57.319 This instruction the only thing I see. Oh wait, the 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:01.800 bas the butt plug against her batteries, the bottom ship 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.880 vibrate like I'm au be the plus and probes for 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:09.400 every sensation. There's a slender taper tippy. Okay, maybe she's 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:13.640 reading is fundamental. First of all, First off, I knew 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.120 it all went into the asshole because it is the 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:20.160 beginner's an't o kit, right, and then I just started 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:22.800 with the small one and worked my way to funk up. Daddy, 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:27.920 here you go. Yeah, see that came really good. I'm 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:31.880 my account and calling me um all right, well um, 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:33.839 now that you just gave me that I did not 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:36.200 even know it really did all that. And that's all 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:40.880 the toys. Toys, Yeah, cleaning instruction. I clean them, Um, 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:44.000 good for you. I clean I do. I clean him 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.480 every time. And my man has even gotten any better. 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:48.640 He'll like collect all of them and put him in 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:54.240 the sink. Right, so right, you feel men, Yes, and 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.480 even the rag that I used to wipe up all 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:59.000 the jes throw that thing up in there too, So 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:02.520 I just in the same everything's in the sink. Everything's 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:05.560 in the sink, and I can put stainless steel. Actually 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:10.200 it is, mandy. I don't you don't give washing dishes 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.720 when I feel like you wait a moment to wash dishes. Well, 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.920 that's why he does it, because otherwise they still have 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:19.000 you seen like your cereal bowl and your coffee mug. 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:21.360 And also I don't eat in my room, so there's 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.320 not no dishes in my room ever, not your room. 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.240 I'm saying when they put he puts them in the sink. No, 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:28.600 he puts them in my bathroom sink. I'm already here thinking, 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.800 no thinking on my bathroom sink. I am not washing 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:38.240 my dial dough because inshesh. Yeah, that's why I was thinking. 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:43.880 So I have washing like I have cleaning foam, and 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.400 then I'll lay them out like to dry before I 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:48.360 put them back. But I have the cleaning foam and 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:52.760 I just washed it with lukewarm water. Smart the smartest cookie, 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.640 and I never have. I am not putting my dial 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.600 dos in my motherfucking dishwasher. My dishwasher get hot, Bitch, 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:00.800 I open it thing one time, bitch almost melted. All 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.559 I know. Dishwashers got so hot. You know, this is 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:07.400 my first time having a disition. Not only do you 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.439 not get doors to your bedroom in New York? Definitely 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:14.120 don't get it? Definitely one would you read the motherfucking 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.959 they got a washing d know the fact that I 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:21.520 have a dishwasher and washer and drawing My unit. Friends 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:25.280 are like, bit, you made it, sure did? Off the 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:34.640 island you came. Yeah, your house is beautiful. Thank you. Well, 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:38.240 we're gonna get now into our vanilla ship. If you 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:40.600 do not know, this is where we talk about sex 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:43.360 in the news. Um. And again, if you don't know 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:45.560 this woman's face by now, you may have seen her 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:51.360 recently when she went viral. Um, I want to play it, okay, 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:53.000 because I was gonna play the clubs. I don't. Do 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:55.840 you think that we, if any of us different opinions, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:59.240 would agree or disagree with you. I think this was 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:01.679 out of contact. Next, so I think once we get 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:03.760 into the like minutia of it, you'll be like, oh, 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:07.319 that actually makes sense. M That's That's what I'll say 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.360 based on the clip. Did you agree with her or disagree? 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:17.200 Absolutely disagree? Okay, okay, and I mainly but you agree 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.839 I agree with her, So I disagreed simply off the 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:22.920 basis that from the clip I saw, because no, I 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.000 didn't want to us because now people don't know. Let's 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:29.400 can we then? Can you play the clip? Yes? Man, okay, 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:35.560 I are you trying to beat me up? Why are 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:39.199 you trying to murder me? I want to be very 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:43.280 very clear. The language by which we talk about sex 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:47.760 and black communities is disturbing. We talked about often to 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.480 beat it up, I'm gonna shoot up the club, I'm 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:54.400 gonna murder the pussy. Why are we using violent language 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:57.880 to describe and into the act. I don't know you 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.960 so well known. She brought it. You brought it here 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:17.840 today with not a new not Now we're gonna right 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:22.240 all right, you know. So basically the context of this, uh, 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:25.760 you were expressing how, um, I'm gonna beat the pussy up. 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:27.960 We also just had another guest who said, I'm gonna 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:31.640 fun the ship out of her. Um. We again, there's 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.720 all these ways of how we talk about or or 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:37.360 men specifically discuss how they're gonna beat our pussies up 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.760 or murder our pussy and the things like that. You 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.880 said that it is detrimental on how the black community 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:47.960 uses words around sex. Now, you said you completely disagree. 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:50.720 So I would love to hear why you disagree, and 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:52.440 then I would love for you to do what you 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.520 couldn't do on this show and deep dive further deep 0:14:55.560 --> 0:15:00.160 dive first, I guess, okay, yeah, So for me, we've 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.720 had so many conversations where we talked about safe spaces 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:04.560 and like what's a safe space to do things in? 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:06.000 Or how like you know what I mean, like get 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:09.360 your kinks off, which you know about. So that surprised 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.280 me because all I could think of, like was why 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:15.480 are we policing sex language? Right? Um, for me, I 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:17.920 understand beating pussie up because I'm like, oh, because you 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:19.920 say you're hitting it right, Like that's what I thought 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:25.040 you pound it. But also, I don't think it's a 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.600 learned trait that I like to have rough sex. I'm 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:30.680 a super emo girl, Like I like the feeling of 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.520 being grabbed on it like masculinity girls too, right, So 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:36.440 like I like the hardness sometimes of a man and 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.440 sex like obviously rough sex when I want to do 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:42.880 something super intimate may not be my vibe, but no, 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:45.240 like I don't think there's anything wrong with that language 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:48.960 as long as it's consensual. There's where we get kind 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:52.960 of dicey because what I was actually talking about didn't 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:54.640 have shipped to do with what you choose to talk 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.120 about in the bedroom. You want to have that language 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.640 in the bedroom, that's not a problem. What I'm talking 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.280 about is how in public spaces, how in our music, 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:07.360 in our entertainment, we use that type of language. Maybe 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:09.400 I don't want to have my pussy beat up. Maybe 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:11.040 I do, but I don't want you to come up 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:13.600 to me at the monthfucking grocery store and say, Beach, 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:15.320 I can't wait to beat up that pussy. But even 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.920 if we're talking about music, just playing Devil's Advocate here, 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.400 there's a place where R and B. You know what 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:24.480 I'm saying, My a ntfire is lover, I think it 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:26.720 don't be talking about beating the pussy up crazy when 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:28.920 he does. He does, but also he'd be getting all 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.920 super stentual, you know what I'm saying. So, like I 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:33.000 feel like when it depends on the music I'm listening to. 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:34.880 If I'm listening in the future, I expect him to 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:36.520 talk like that. If I'm listening to the City Girls, 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:39.960 I expected to talk like that. So if it's in music, 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:42.920 shouldn't I don't know, And I guess I'm also that 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:45.720 girl that doesn't really give a funk about guns, drugs 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:48.320 and holes in music either, particularly because I listened to 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.360 a lot of white trash music too, where they talk 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:53.080 about some dumb crazy ship getting high. My favorite song 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.280 what It's Like by ever Last they talked about getting high, smoke, crack, 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.960 all kind of ship. But like not they know they're talking. 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:05.720 It's a white it's a white thing. I didn't know, no, no, no, So, 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:08.400 like I think the beat in the pussy up context, 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:11.440 if it is in music, is it horrible? Like do 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:14.600 we then have to take away everything? Because like, yeah, 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.119 that's that kind of dialogue for that setting. But my 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:20.000 thing is is why is that our only type of dialogue? 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:25.000 I would say majority, I think we have normalized it 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:27.040 in a way. And here's the bigger part. He literally 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:28.720 just had a black man sit on the couch and 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.160 he literally talked about sucking the ship out of someone, 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.440 fucking like, and I said, you really want to suck 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:37.399 the ship out of someone? When we uh, welly like 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:40.800 when he was describing even sex with a woman everything, 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.119 And I'll say, oh, really, fun ship, especially because I 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:45.480 knew we were gonna have Michelle on. I was playing 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:48.760 close attention to how he was explaining sex and interactions 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:51.159 with women, and it was very like but you know 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.720 you were there right, It was still very rough, But 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:57.480 you know, did you not talk like that? Hold on me? 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:01.440 But it's her length, which that she's choosing. One of 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.280 the things I want to point out here is because 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:05.200 a lot of people were like, first of all, I 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:07.239 am a black woman. So to all the people who 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:11.520 were like, who is this trans racial? Uh black passing woman? 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:15.439 I am a black woman, it was disgusting. I was disgusted. Disgusted. 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:19.159 We come in all shapes, Okay, I've just heard on 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:21.680 the shape like I only beat up. Okay. And here's 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:24.439 the thing. If you like rough sex, ship, who doesn't 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:26.240 like rough sex? From time to time? I think what 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.720 I'm talking about is in general conversations, we tend to 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:32.800 only use violent language, even to the extent where other 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:34.720 people have asked me to come on the podcast to 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:38.040 discuss this very thing, and they themselves I felt like 0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:40.840 I was right, but they didn't have any other words 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:43.760 besides beat it up. Wait wait wait, wait, elborate. They 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.720 were talking about sex. They all the language people were 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:51.560 using was beat it up, and like nobody here right, 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:54.399 nobody was like, oh, well, you know we're having sex, 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:56.800 or we're less likely to say I want to have 0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:58.880 intercourse than we are to say I'm gonna beat the pussy. 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.080 So I did. I did want to scu Then since 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:02.919 that is so violent and you're saying that a lot 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:06.280 of people that that invited you onto their shows had 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.520 no other usage of language, what are other ways than 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:13.320 we as a community can express because I'm wait, wait, 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:15.640 we should first say I'm gonna go back and forth 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:18.879 many because if I got had really good sex last night, 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:20.840 I'm probably gonna say, which makes me feel like a 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:23.600 total horn nowt Michelle, but she fucked dogshit out of me? 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:27.440 What about you? What would you say? I don't probably 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:30.879 say he sucked me real good or she sucked me 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:34.600 real good. But yes, like man, we fucked all night, 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:38.280 like we fucked you. See, this is what I'm saying. 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:41.280 This is why I'm bringing this up. But we don't 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:43.600 have any other language. Now, I think there is a 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:48.119 couple of things so that violent though beat Also, I 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:50.359 should I do want to say this because this is 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:52.480 the part that I don't think people understand, and I 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:54.480 didn't get to talk about. You have to remember, I've 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:56.960 worked in sex education for many years, and I've worked 0:19:57.000 --> 0:20:01.440 with young people children, and this is the language they're using. 0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:04.320 I actually had a middle school class tell me that 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:07.120 the way that they get their first kiss is through 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:09.879 play fighting, and one person wrestles the other one to 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:13.240 the ground, and that is how it starts. So this 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:16.959 is what I'm saying, people, we have to think beyond 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:20.959 our own little universes to who else is hearing us, 0:20:21.440 --> 0:20:24.600 because oftentimes I'm not gonna younger people. And what you're 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:29.280 saying to brings me back just uh thinking of uh, 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:33.000 the playing hard to get, and I think that that 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:36.000 starts really young and it's something that we're taught that 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:38.640 we should do as women. However, it leads to those 0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:42.080 mixed signals with men. They just assume that they have 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:45.480 to pursue more or push more, which then puts us 0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:49.080 into those uncomfortable situations when we really mean no, stay away. 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:51.920 Like the playing hard to get creates those blurred lines. 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:53.879 So I think that Michelle Den, what you're saying is 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:57.880 knowing that this is trickling down to children and teenagers 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:01.600 who are getting into those you know ages where they're 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.960 gonna try sexual things. It's leaving to where it's gonna 0:21:05.040 --> 0:21:08.159 lead to maybe more people experiencing trauma. Right. Also, we 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:12.360 don't have a good sex education system here, so it's 0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:15.440 like who who is actually giving them correct information. They're 0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:19.640