Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make a horrible decisions. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to she forgot the name of the show. Another
Speaker 1: episode of horrible decisions. I'm your girl, Mad d V
Speaker 1: A K stating a full core punks a k A debt,
Speaker 1: motherfucking Beach, and I'm sitting next to Hey, I'm sweezy,
Speaker 1: and we are joining also that girl, Well, I'm that bitch.
Speaker 1: You could be that girl. Um. And we are joined
Speaker 1: today by someone who has been on our podcast. I
Speaker 1: feel like at least once a year. You've been on
Speaker 1: here about three two times, three times, three times our
Speaker 1: live show, our live show, yes where we brought a
Speaker 1: pussy puppet. I've been to friends. So that's why I talk.
Speaker 1: My God, I'm done hearing about motherfucking France. We are
Speaker 1: joined today by Michelle Hope, who is a sexpert and
Speaker 1: everything else under the sun. And I would say and
Speaker 1: act to best a sexpert. I was gonna say, activists
Speaker 1: actually think that I think about It's good. I love that,
Speaker 1: not that I don't think of sex right, but like,
Speaker 1: if I had to pick something else right, activism would
Speaker 1: be it. You know, I say activism because you talked
Speaker 1: about sex. So like educationally, i'd be like, damn, bitch,
Speaker 1: this bit smart, Like the way we read about it,
Speaker 1: I don't. I mean I read Twitter. Yeah, sometimes and
Speaker 1: sometimes you can get good information from there. You know
Speaker 1: what else I don't really give credit to. You introduced
Speaker 1: me to old Bay. Really didn't. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if you realize that. I don't. I did not. We
Speaker 1: were at a party together and you saw him, you
Speaker 1: knew him, so you started talking to him and you
Speaker 1: were sucking lit as fuck. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: that's normal, Michelle. But so at first I thought Michelle
Speaker 1: was like flirting with him, but then also he had
Speaker 1: a friend there, and I was like, okay, so now
Speaker 1: it's this nigga that she's flirting. We also can't get
Speaker 1: the vibe because who does Michelle want to fuck? Probably
Speaker 1: both at the same dayn time. No, I'm just who knows?
Speaker 1: Who knows? That's but you know when you're just like
Speaker 1: which one is my home girl? On? So then I
Speaker 1: remember when he came back to get my number, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, are you and he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's like we who I've been knowing her for years? Why?
Speaker 1: I mean, did she like I was like, I don't know, nigga,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out where I fit in. And
Speaker 1: it's crazy because she has that connection to you. She
Speaker 1: actually went on a date with my man before he
Speaker 1: was my man. You slide. So we so we went
Speaker 1: and we uh we were protesting together and Harlem. We
Speaker 1: went out to a protest uh during all of the
Speaker 1: BLM movements and that was a beautiful one. Um in Harlem,
Speaker 1: and he came and picked me up and they they
Speaker 1: both like kind of was like I think I know
Speaker 1: that person years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a
Speaker 1: low one and uh literally then um, he was like,
Speaker 1: what's her name? And I started, I said, that's my friend.
Speaker 1: She does this. She was on Breakfast Club a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of times like she did this, So I'm sure
Speaker 1: you know of her. And then he was like, I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure. I met her a red rooster and we
Speaker 1: went on a date. I mean, I don't love two days,
Speaker 1: so that actually makes me feel better. Yeah, I do
Speaker 1: love a good date. I love a good date. I
Speaker 1: love a good free drink, a good meal. I mean,
Speaker 1: hold on, because I've taken man out and been like
Speaker 1: I got it. Wait, how often do you do that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I ain't nowt here bawling, shot Colin or nothing.
Speaker 1: But I mean I've been I've been a quick two
Speaker 1: put twenty or happy. What is that Applebee's? It's like
Speaker 1: one of them. That's the only time I'm paying. And
Speaker 1: I don't even eat there no more. So looking like
Speaker 1: I'm not bad, I can't. I was forced to eat
Speaker 1: it a fucking Friday, so I was stuck in an airport.
Speaker 1: They're so bad, not me because the lounge just closed,
Speaker 1: not me being a bitch. I wasn't a bit because
Speaker 1: I was already mad because it was a snow issue.
Speaker 1: I was sitting at that Friday's like I don't even
Speaker 1: eat her anymore, so I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: And she was like, bitch, do you want a burger
Speaker 1: and wings? So that's all we gotta eat you some wings.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't really fuck up Wayne. Nope, yes
Speaker 1: you can. I mean they could be so the only
Speaker 1: way you could suck them up is if you fucking
Speaker 1: do them boneless. Okay, I like them, are you kidding?
Speaker 1: Chicken sends at that time, the chicken their nugget. That's
Speaker 1: fine to be there. It's super child giving Vegan. It's
Speaker 1: because Morgan Morning Star or whatever that thing is. They're
Speaker 1: they're cut into dinosaur shapes. See anybody got time for that? Anyways,
Speaker 1: I wanted to start off, of course, a little light,
Speaker 1: um to get the jokes, because if you know Michelle,
Speaker 1: she's gonna come in with the facts today. So I
Speaker 1: just wanted to start it off light with mine spreakers.
Speaker 1: Bet you know ready, um so ice spreaker time, We're
Speaker 1: gonna do a quick flash run of would you rather? Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, um really feel free to jump in if
Speaker 1: maybe you disagree with her answer, Um, would you rather
Speaker 1: never use sex toys again? Or never use a microwave again?
Speaker 1: Get rid of the microwave? Okay? And I think I
Speaker 1: think that's easy, just because we all got of friars
Speaker 1: and ship Now. I'm gonna be honest. I haven't had
Speaker 1: a microwave in years. I gonna hold you. My apartment
Speaker 1: is always are so old, even my l a crib,
Speaker 1: even though it's a new building. Well, they don't come
Speaker 1: with them, but I've always had to buy microwave. And
Speaker 1: there's a place to put the microwave. No really, yeah,
Speaker 1: they don't most most apartments, some of them do before
Speaker 1: they do between New York now. But you barely get
Speaker 1: a door. You lucky if you have a wall to
Speaker 1: your bedroom. Actually a very fair point. Do you have
Speaker 1: any two bedrooms? I've looked at right like it's this
Speaker 1: the one toy be like, it's a flex It is
Speaker 1: a luxury, just not to have to walk up seven
Speaker 1: floors and there's an elevator door. I had the nerve
Speaker 1: before I lived here, I'll suck some dude on the
Speaker 1: fifth floor. And I was like, I'll never live like this, bitchy,
Speaker 1: we're just like that. The very next uh um, Okay,
Speaker 1: So the next one is would you rather have sex
Speaker 1: that only ever lasted three minutes or three hours? Do
Speaker 1: I get to use a vibrator three minutes? I would
Speaker 1: pick three minutes or three hours? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: What kind and every talking penetration? That mean dog? The
Speaker 1: same way I told her when when she when you
Speaker 1: give head, when you get head, that sex because it's
Speaker 1: oral sex. I want three hours, bro, But what if
Speaker 1: I'm a horny and I don't have that kind of time?
Speaker 1: Because when you gotta a little into your motherfucking cow
Speaker 1: rich of the microwaves like this, this is it and
Speaker 1: keep it pushing. Here's the thing. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: oh done? See what the quickies? I always want more
Speaker 1: when I go, like for the three hours, like a
Speaker 1: long night of fucking bitch. That kind of set me
Speaker 1: up good for the week, Like I'd be good. I mean,
Speaker 1: my pussy needs need a break too, but i'd be good.
Speaker 1: I'd be feeling great. But if that's all you can get, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is why I have loop on both sides of
Speaker 1: my bed. Oh baby, And no drying is happening. If
Speaker 1: I even feel like he's getting dry, you're gonna spit
Speaker 1: or you're gonna use the loop what it is? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Oh yeah, ain't no friction happening
Speaker 1: in here, baby, not the bad kind of No. Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll go to three hours. Um, last one? Would you
Speaker 1: rather never have? And this is for you and I
Speaker 1: really not not really feezy. We might have to add another,
Speaker 1: uh substance? Would you rather have? Would you rather never
Speaker 1: have another cocktail again? Or never receive oral set? Which
Speaker 1: I drink alcohol just because I get drunk fast doesn't
Speaker 1: mean I don't drink. I just drink less than you.
Speaker 1: I mean the kind of life I live. I guess
Speaker 1: oral sex is out the door. I hate to say.
Speaker 1: I'll get a toy that simulates it. There we go,
Speaker 1: you go get the rose. What's your thoughts on the rose?
Speaker 1: Have you used the rose? Um? I've used air pulse technology,
Speaker 1: which is recreated by um, but a pole technology. Woman,
Speaker 1: It's it's the sex thing is the rose. It's the
Speaker 1: same concept, right, Um, it's that kind of pulsating air
Speaker 1: kind of sucks in and it is great. But I
Speaker 1: do want to let people know. Oh here she go. Um,
Speaker 1: if you if you are pierced, you should not be
Speaker 1: using that toy at all. Wait why because the ring
Speaker 1: can get caught, It says it in the instructions. You
Speaker 1: don't read the instructions. Set even go hold You just
Speaker 1: look at me like, all right, we're I'm telling me
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on. I'm just trying to think of
Speaker 1: Mandy reading an instructions I read. No, no, no, I read,
Speaker 1: I read. You go into my room, saying Mandy opened
Speaker 1: the strap on and she's sitting in front of the
Speaker 1: nick and she goes, okay, start slowly. I'm first off, wait,
Speaker 1: wey sex toys don't give you instructions on how to
Speaker 1: use it. I don't think it would, right, it tells
Speaker 1: you where to place it wait inside of the other person.
Speaker 1: I mean, like for something like that, it would probably
Speaker 1: should I go get a sex toy from the other
Speaker 1: room to see what it was like. Look like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's one right here. Hold we have it. Great, We
Speaker 1: love a little resident and his sex toy and bam. Okay,
Speaker 1: so this don't say who's from because they ain't pay
Speaker 1: for this episode. Well not for this episode, but they've
Speaker 1: paid four episodes with us. All right, love honey. So
Speaker 1: by the way, I have used all of them. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, read the instruction gainners antal cat um. How
Speaker 1: do you use your plut plug? Cover the butt plug
Speaker 1: with water based anal lubricant, insert gently into the anus
Speaker 1: care and safety plenty of water base Hold on, let
Speaker 1: me see, I'm saying we can't give it as a gift.
Speaker 1: Now that still going to do? You know how many
Speaker 1: people have given lube and anal plug ship to like
Speaker 1: astro Glide has given us so much fucking lube. I'm like, nigga,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll ever need this much love
Speaker 1: in my lifetime. Like it's so much love like I
Speaker 1: never had too much loo when you have an orgy.
Speaker 1: This instruction the only thing I see. Oh wait, the
Speaker 1: bas the butt plug against her batteries, the bottom ship
Speaker 1: vibrate like I'm au be the plus and probes for
Speaker 1: every sensation. There's a slender taper tippy. Okay, maybe she's
Speaker 1: reading is fundamental. First of all, First off, I knew
Speaker 1: it all went into the asshole because it is the
Speaker 1: beginner's an't o kit, right, and then I just started
Speaker 1: with the small one and worked my way to funk up. Daddy,
Speaker 1: here you go. Yeah, see that came really good. I'm
Speaker 1: my account and calling me um all right, well um,
Speaker 1: now that you just gave me that I did not
Speaker 1: even know it really did all that. And that's all
Speaker 1: the toys. Toys, Yeah, cleaning instruction. I clean them, Um,
Speaker 1: good for you. I clean I do. I clean him
Speaker 1: every time. And my man has even gotten any better.
Speaker 1: He'll like collect all of them and put him in
Speaker 1: the sink. Right, so right, you feel men, Yes, and
Speaker 1: even the rag that I used to wipe up all
Speaker 1: the jes throw that thing up in there too, So
Speaker 1: I just in the same everything's in the sink. Everything's
Speaker 1: in the sink, and I can put stainless steel. Actually
Speaker 1: it is, mandy. I don't you don't give washing dishes
Speaker 1: when I feel like you wait a moment to wash dishes. Well,
Speaker 1: that's why he does it, because otherwise they still have
Speaker 1: you seen like your cereal bowl and your coffee mug.
Speaker 1: And also I don't eat in my room, so there's
Speaker 1: not no dishes in my room ever, not your room.
Speaker 1: I'm saying when they put he puts them in the sink. No,
Speaker 1: he puts them in my bathroom sink. I'm already here thinking,
Speaker 1: no thinking on my bathroom sink. I am not washing
Speaker 1: my dial dough because inshesh. Yeah, that's why I was thinking.
Speaker 1: So I have washing like I have cleaning foam, and
Speaker 1: then I'll lay them out like to dry before I
Speaker 1: put them back. But I have the cleaning foam and
Speaker 1: I just washed it with lukewarm water. Smart the smartest cookie,
Speaker 1: and I never have. I am not putting my dial
Speaker 1: dos in my motherfucking dishwasher. My dishwasher get hot, Bitch,
Speaker 1: I open it thing one time, bitch almost melted. All
Speaker 1: I know. Dishwashers got so hot. You know, this is
Speaker 1: my first time having a disition. Not only do you
Speaker 1: not get doors to your bedroom in New York? Definitely
Speaker 1: don't get it? Definitely one would you read the motherfucking
Speaker 1: they got a washing d know the fact that I
Speaker 1: have a dishwasher and washer and drawing My unit. Friends
Speaker 1: are like, bit, you made it, sure did? Off the
Speaker 1: island you came. Yeah, your house is beautiful. Thank you. Well,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get now into our vanilla ship. If you
Speaker 1: do not know, this is where we talk about sex
Speaker 1: in the news. Um. And again, if you don't know
Speaker 1: this woman's face by now, you may have seen her
Speaker 1: recently when she went viral. Um, I want to play it, okay,
Speaker 1: because I was gonna play the clubs. I don't. Do
Speaker 1: you think that we, if any of us different opinions,
Speaker 1: would agree or disagree with you. I think this was
Speaker 1: out of contact. Next, so I think once we get
Speaker 1: into the like minutia of it, you'll be like, oh,
Speaker 1: that actually makes sense. M That's That's what I'll say
Speaker 1: based on the clip. Did you agree with her or disagree?
Speaker 1: Absolutely disagree? Okay, okay, and I mainly but you agree
Speaker 1: I agree with her, So I disagreed simply off the
Speaker 1: basis that from the clip I saw, because no, I
Speaker 1: didn't want to us because now people don't know. Let's
Speaker 1: can we then? Can you play the clip? Yes? Man, okay,
Speaker 1: I are you trying to beat me up? Why are
Speaker 1: you trying to murder me? I want to be very
Speaker 1: very clear. The language by which we talk about sex
Speaker 1: and black communities is disturbing. We talked about often to
Speaker 1: beat it up, I'm gonna shoot up the club, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna murder the pussy. Why are we using violent language
Speaker 1: to describe and into the act. I don't know you
Speaker 1: so well known. She brought it. You brought it here
Speaker 1: today with not a new not Now we're gonna right
Speaker 1: all right, you know. So basically the context of this, uh,
Speaker 1: you were expressing how, um, I'm gonna beat the pussy up.
Speaker 1: We also just had another guest who said, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: fun the ship out of her. Um. We again, there's
Speaker 1: all these ways of how we talk about or or
Speaker 1: men specifically discuss how they're gonna beat our pussies up
Speaker 1: or murder our pussy and the things like that. You
Speaker 1: said that it is detrimental on how the black community
Speaker 1: uses words around sex. Now, you said you completely disagree.
Speaker 1: So I would love to hear why you disagree, and
Speaker 1: then I would love for you to do what you
Speaker 1: couldn't do on this show and deep dive further deep
Speaker 1: dive first, I guess, okay, yeah, So for me, we've
Speaker 1: had so many conversations where we talked about safe spaces
Speaker 1: and like what's a safe space to do things in?
Speaker 1: Or how like you know what I mean, like get
Speaker 1: your kinks off, which you know about. So that surprised
Speaker 1: me because all I could think of, like was why
Speaker 1: are we policing sex language? Right? Um, for me, I
Speaker 1: understand beating pussie up because I'm like, oh, because you
Speaker 1: say you're hitting it right, Like that's what I thought
Speaker 1: you pound it. But also, I don't think it's a
Speaker 1: learned trait that I like to have rough sex. I'm
Speaker 1: a super emo girl, Like I like the feeling of
Speaker 1: being grabbed on it like masculinity girls too, right, So
Speaker 1: like I like the hardness sometimes of a man and
Speaker 1: sex like obviously rough sex when I want to do
Speaker 1: something super intimate may not be my vibe, but no,
Speaker 1: like I don't think there's anything wrong with that language
Speaker 1: as long as it's consensual. There's where we get kind
Speaker 1: of dicey because what I was actually talking about didn't
Speaker 1: have shipped to do with what you choose to talk
Speaker 1: about in the bedroom. You want to have that language
Speaker 1: in the bedroom, that's not a problem. What I'm talking
Speaker 1: about is how in public spaces, how in our music,
Speaker 1: in our entertainment, we use that type of language. Maybe
Speaker 1: I don't want to have my pussy beat up. Maybe
Speaker 1: I do, but I don't want you to come up
Speaker 1: to me at the monthfucking grocery store and say, Beach,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to beat up that pussy. But even
Speaker 1: if we're talking about music, just playing Devil's Advocate here,
Speaker 1: there's a place where R and B. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, My a ntfire is lover, I think it
Speaker 1: don't be talking about beating the pussy up crazy when
Speaker 1: he does. He does, but also he'd be getting all
Speaker 1: super stentual, you know what I'm saying. So, like I
Speaker 1: feel like when it depends on the music I'm listening to.
Speaker 1: If I'm listening in the future, I expect him to
Speaker 1: talk like that. If I'm listening to the City Girls,
Speaker 1: I expected to talk like that. So if it's in music,
Speaker 1: shouldn't I don't know, And I guess I'm also that
Speaker 1: girl that doesn't really give a funk about guns, drugs
Speaker 1: and holes in music either, particularly because I listened to
Speaker 1: a lot of white trash music too, where they talk
Speaker 1: about some dumb crazy ship getting high. My favorite song
Speaker 1: what It's Like by ever Last they talked about getting high, smoke, crack,
Speaker 1: all kind of ship. But like not they know they're talking.
Speaker 1: It's a white it's a white thing. I didn't know, no, no, no, So,
Speaker 1: like I think the beat in the pussy up context,
Speaker 1: if it is in music, is it horrible? Like do
Speaker 1: we then have to take away everything? Because like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that kind of dialogue for that setting. But my
Speaker 1: thing is is why is that our only type of dialogue?
Speaker 1: I would say majority, I think we have normalized it
Speaker 1: in a way. And here's the bigger part. He literally
Speaker 1: just had a black man sit on the couch and
Speaker 1: he literally talked about sucking the ship out of someone,
Speaker 1: fucking like, and I said, you really want to suck
Speaker 1: the ship out of someone? When we uh, welly like
Speaker 1: when he was describing even sex with a woman everything,
Speaker 1: And I'll say, oh, really, fun ship, especially because I
Speaker 1: knew we were gonna have Michelle on. I was playing
Speaker 1: close attention to how he was explaining sex and interactions
Speaker 1: with women, and it was very like but you know
Speaker 1: you were there right, It was still very rough, But
Speaker 1: you know, did you not talk like that? Hold on me?
Speaker 1: But it's her length, which that she's choosing. One of
Speaker 1: the things I want to point out here is because
Speaker 1: a lot of people were like, first of all, I
Speaker 1: am a black woman. So to all the people who
Speaker 1: were like, who is this trans racial? Uh black passing woman?
Speaker 1: I am a black woman, it was disgusting. I was disgusted. Disgusted.
Speaker 1: We come in all shapes, Okay, I've just heard on
Speaker 1: the shape like I only beat up. Okay. And here's
Speaker 1: the thing. If you like rough sex, ship, who doesn't
Speaker 1: like rough sex? From time to time? I think what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about is in general conversations, we tend to
Speaker 1: only use violent language, even to the extent where other
Speaker 1: people have asked me to come on the podcast to
Speaker 1: discuss this very thing, and they themselves I felt like
Speaker 1: I was right, but they didn't have any other words
Speaker 1: besides beat it up. Wait wait wait, wait, elborate. They
Speaker 1: were talking about sex. They all the language people were
Speaker 1: using was beat it up, and like nobody here right,
Speaker 1: nobody was like, oh, well, you know we're having sex,
Speaker 1: or we're less likely to say I want to have
Speaker 1: intercourse than we are to say I'm gonna beat the pussy.
Speaker 1: So I did. I did want to scu Then since
Speaker 1: that is so violent and you're saying that a lot
Speaker 1: of people that that invited you onto their shows had
Speaker 1: no other usage of language, what are other ways than
Speaker 1: we as a community can express because I'm wait, wait,
Speaker 1: we should first say I'm gonna go back and forth
Speaker 1: many because if I got had really good sex last night,
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna say, which makes me feel like a
Speaker 1: total horn nowt Michelle, but she fucked dogshit out of me?
Speaker 1: What about you? What would you say? I don't probably
Speaker 1: say he sucked me real good or she sucked me
Speaker 1: real good. But yes, like man, we fucked all night,
Speaker 1: like we fucked you. See, this is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: This is why I'm bringing this up. But we don't
Speaker 1: have any other language. Now, I think there is a
Speaker 1: couple of things so that violent though beat Also, I
Speaker 1: should I do want to say this because this is
Speaker 1: the part that I don't think people understand, and I
Speaker 1: didn't get to talk about. You have to remember, I've
Speaker 1: worked in sex education for many years, and I've worked
Speaker 1: with young people children, and this is the language they're using.
Speaker 1: I actually had a middle school class tell me that
Speaker 1: the way that they get their first kiss is through
Speaker 1: play fighting, and one person wrestles the other one to
Speaker 1: the ground, and that is how it starts. So this
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying, people, we have to think beyond
Speaker 1: our own little universes to who else is hearing us,
Speaker 1: because oftentimes I'm not gonna younger people. And what you're
Speaker 1: saying to brings me back just uh thinking of uh,
Speaker 1: the playing hard to get, and I think that that
Speaker 1: starts really young and it's something that we're taught that
Speaker 1: we should do as women. However, it leads to those
Speaker 1: mixed signals with men. They just assume that they have
Speaker 1: to pursue more or push more, which then puts us
Speaker 1: into those uncomfortable situations when we really mean no, stay away.
Speaker 1: Like the playing hard to get creates those blurred lines.
Speaker 1: So I think that Michelle Den, what you're saying is
Speaker 1: knowing that this is trickling down to children and teenagers
Speaker 1: who are getting into those you know ages where they're
Speaker 1: gonna try sexual things. It's leaving to where it's gonna
Speaker 1: lead to maybe more people experiencing trauma. Right. Also, we
Speaker 1: don't have a good sex education system here, so it's
Speaker 1: like who who is actually giving them correct information. They're
Speaker 1: going on porn sites which are also violent, super super missogyny,
Speaker 1: and it's like patriarchal, this idea of women should be
Speaker 1: more demure and and that's not for black women. Historically.
Speaker 1: This is another thing that really people don't understand, even men,
Speaker 1: being Black men being so sexually uh like charged and
Speaker 1: these it comes from white supremacy, it comes from it
Speaker 1: comes from this idea that the black man and his
Speaker 1: big black dick are sex beasts, and they historically were
Speaker 1: looked at as the rapist. Therefore, the black women could
Speaker 1: never be raped because she is his counterpart, which oftentimes
Speaker 1: leads to further exploitation of black men and black women
Speaker 1: sexually since the beginning of motherfucking slavery. Now I agree
Speaker 1: with you on that front, but also it's hard for
Speaker 1: me in this context because where I while I know
Speaker 1: where you're coming from, I don't know if I could
Speaker 1: stop using that language myself. Because I think that I
Speaker 1: enjoy it. And she said, you can say because you're
Speaker 1: expressing something that you enjoy. But also, here's the other thing.
Speaker 1: Uh if a man does say that to his to
Speaker 1: his homeboy, right, But let's just say, even podcast talk,
Speaker 1: two niggas are talking about how they fun lson bitches
Speaker 1: last night, how they were beating pussy and they already know.
Speaker 1: Immediately look at these dudes like they're doing something wrong
Speaker 1: because they're talking about sex the same way that I am. Again,
Speaker 1: and this is also not pick me talk more than
Speaker 1: this is like Devil's advocate. Because I do have very
Speaker 1: intimate sex with my partner. Anyone in this room, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna start crying first. I am that girl. I love
Speaker 1: to be fuck slow kissed me and talked to me whatever.
Speaker 1: But depending on that moment, I don't know. And I
Speaker 1: think that when I'm having casual sex, I do like
Speaker 1: to talk about in that way because that's the sex
Speaker 1: I want. Right. So should we be looking at men
Speaker 1: like they're fucked up for talking like this amongst other men?
Speaker 1: Is it because it's making women look bad? Well, here's
Speaker 1: my thing. I think we just need to be more
Speaker 1: aware of our language I'm not saying you need to
Speaker 1: fully stop. I just asked the question. I just presented
Speaker 1: the question, why do we use this language? And we
Speaker 1: have discovered here that we don't have any other words?
Speaker 1: Are we we don't have any other words? And then
Speaker 1: people wanted to be like, well, white people say it,
Speaker 1: White people girls be like, uh, funck my brains out again.
Speaker 1: That is a woman choosing that language, and that's her consent. Whatever.
Speaker 1: I am not shaming anybody for the language that they
Speaker 1: use in the bedroom. I want to be very clear
Speaker 1: about that. I just posed the question to get us
Speaker 1: to think about it because and now I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you some statistics. According to the FBI, in t
Speaker 1: at least four black women and girls were murdered every
Speaker 1: single day. Additionally, for every Black woman who reports rape,
Speaker 1: at least fifteen do not one in four Black girls
Speaker 1: will be sexually abused before eighteen. One in five black
Speaker 1: women are survivors of way. Thirty percent of Black women
Speaker 1: experienced some form of contact sexual violence during a lifetime.
Speaker 1: Forty sixty percent of Black women report being subjected to
Speaker 1: coercive sexual content by the age of eighteen. Seventeen percent
Speaker 1: of black women experienced sexual violence other than rape by
Speaker 1: an intimate partner during their lifetime, and the statistics go
Speaker 1: on and on and on and on. So I only
Speaker 1: presented that question to get us to stop and think
Speaker 1: for a moment where does it come from? Because it
Speaker 1: is all rooted in patriarchy, and the roots of patriarchy
Speaker 1: is white supremacy. So what we have done is we
Speaker 1: have not explored our own internalized racism and how we
Speaker 1: have processed that, and now we are just spewing it
Speaker 1: back out onto our own communities, onto our the people
Speaker 1: we love. And and there is currently a lot out
Speaker 1: of hate for black women, like I know that there
Speaker 1: is a viral crypt talking about It's a wonderful day
Speaker 1: to be a black woman. No, the funk, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's hard as a motherfucker. You got podcasters out here
Speaker 1: talking about I don't ride the night train, blue, black,
Speaker 1: blue back. You know, it was very hard for me
Speaker 1: to watch about that clip. And I don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about the news, but if I could think of
Speaker 1: the most African looking face features, full lips, nose, skin tone,
Speaker 1: and that was the most self hating thing I've ever heard,
Speaker 1: and all I could think of when I watched it
Speaker 1: was right. Like the things that I hated about myself
Speaker 1: the most were the things that I wanted to change
Speaker 1: or would notice on other people. Right when I was
Speaker 1: growing up, hated my hair right. I couldn't understand like
Speaker 1: even people would ask me why you light skin, but
Speaker 1: your hair is rough like that. I hated it. When
Speaker 1: I was growing up, I was obsessed with hair or
Speaker 1: not understanding the length of hair and things like that.
Speaker 1: Took me a long time to love my hair and
Speaker 1: wear protective styles. All like to think is someone's either
Speaker 1: made front of your skin, your nose, your lips. Honestly,
Speaker 1: and this has nothing to do niggas are gorgeous to me,
Speaker 1: Black women, black men. That nigga's ugly not because of
Speaker 1: his nose or lips. It's just him, the language he uses,
Speaker 1: the way that he talks about any he's just so
Speaker 1: small minded. You're watching him like he's not that hot.
Speaker 1: I just think there's a lot of he's not even
Speaker 1: conventionally attractive for like anything you would expect from a
Speaker 1: Miami guy that over the top, change the way he dresses.
Speaker 1: If I didn't look at his face, he'd still be ugly.
Speaker 1: So to watch him talking about black women this way
Speaker 1: was just wild. And so I say that to say,
Speaker 1: like the self loathing thing, like, I do understand how
Speaker 1: that comes out. But in terms of bringing it back
Speaker 1: to that clip, everything that you said about, you know,
Speaker 1: black women being over sexualized in black men, I do
Speaker 1: agree with, and I think that that's something that we're
Speaker 1: all not super conscientious of. But I don't necessarily know
Speaker 1: if in the context of talking about sex violently, if
Speaker 1: I really think that we do it more than anyone else.
Speaker 1: I've seen the most disgusting, painful to watch violent sex
Speaker 1: from on white point sites. Absolutely, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: ghetto gaggers ship, especially the way that it does the colonizers.
Speaker 1: They are violent, and that's like it's bad. So I
Speaker 1: think sex in general has been super violent. But I
Speaker 1: don't know. I like, I like just the posing of
Speaker 1: the question to just think beyond what you've been taught
Speaker 1: and to try, if you can, to just remove it.
Speaker 1: In terms of I'm just saying, like I'm not even
Speaker 1: saying again, people kept saying, why is she policing me
Speaker 1: in the bedroom? I don't give a ship what you
Speaker 1: choose to say in the bedroom, because I know I'd
Speaker 1: be saying wild things, wild things, you know, all the things.
Speaker 1: Choke me, spank me whatever, right, pull my hair right.
Speaker 1: But I just think we have to be more conscious
Speaker 1: because there are a lot of and this happens in
Speaker 1: spaces where it goes viral and then young people are
Speaker 1: seeing and we're not providing them with any context, and
Speaker 1: we don't know our own history, we don't understand the
Speaker 1: VI and according to Florida, they trying to make it
Speaker 1: where the kids ain't never gonna learn about. You can't say,
Speaker 1: you can't say nothing you're gonna be able to do.
Speaker 1: Now they're doing this new thing called like transparency where
Speaker 1: they want teachers to turn in their syllabuses for approval
Speaker 1: from parents. It's it's out of control. But what people
Speaker 1: have to understand is this is going to continue to
Speaker 1: chip away at the right, the rights and opportunities for
Speaker 1: people of color. I wanted to uh move forward just
Speaker 1: so that we can get to talking sex. That was
Speaker 1: a good explanation though. That was a real watched that clipus.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people didn't. I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: they got me tripping sound ship bro man. Anyway, all right,
Speaker 1: so why are we that you was talking with the
Speaker 1: vagina tobit people also the ending an intimate act. You
Speaker 1: act a lot when you're talking, like you have a
Speaker 1: very like performing presence, and that's what made that clip
Speaker 1: so fun. I'm sorry that people said those things about you, though,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that it happens interne um. All right, So
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into our hord derve for this week,
Speaker 1: and we are giving you the hord Derve. So the
Speaker 1: horde Derve is our sex tip of the week. And
Speaker 1: I did want to. I did want you to. Really,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you got the puppet out. So you have
Speaker 1: a very funny meme on your page that says the
Speaker 1: clitterest is not a d J booth. Sorry it's not.
Speaker 1: So can you give some tips on interacting with the clip? Okay,
Speaker 1: so a couple of things. Um, First and foremost, the
Speaker 1: most important way to interact with the clip is to
Speaker 1: talk to it. Wait arth Well, first of all, when
Speaker 1: I say that, talk to the owner of the clip
Speaker 1: out like what are you like? Question? What are you like?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? What do you like? I like
Speaker 1: to be rebbed solved. I think my point is communication.
Speaker 1: I like, oh, look, two hands that seems this is
Speaker 1: a large but it is a big pussy. But you
Speaker 1: want to like just you know, remember oh, actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the because you're gonna sound because this is the
Speaker 1: So this is what the clip actually looks like. Right,
Speaker 1: this is your and all of the all we see
Speaker 1: is this little to any tiny piece right here. It's
Speaker 1: like the tip of the ice sperg. Okay, there's all
Speaker 1: this good stuff underneath, so we only see the tip
Speaker 1: and then this kind of sits in and under like
Speaker 1: the laby. Okay, So I think the first thing you
Speaker 1: should do is you want to get the blood flow
Speaker 1: to this region. So start with a massage on the
Speaker 1: inner thighs. Massage that kind of pubist mount, right. You
Speaker 1: don't want a massage that because that'll start that blood flow.
Speaker 1: Then once the blood flow happens, the clip willing gorge
Speaker 1: and natural the hood will kind of retract a little
Speaker 1: um and so then all right now here, and then
Speaker 1: I would say, like, you know, people want to just
Speaker 1: be like man like you want I know, right, you
Speaker 1: are really just caress and massage. By the way, By
Speaker 1: the way, guys, if y'all are just listening to the instruction,
Speaker 1: if you go on over to YouTube type and Horrible
Speaker 1: Decisions podcast. You can see an actual she has a
Speaker 1: whole vagina in her hand and letting you know how
Speaker 1: to engorge the clip. I of course see this is
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. The laby on aside, and don't forget
Speaker 1: about that paraneum honey, that space between the google um yeah,
Speaker 1: the gaunch, the gooch, the whatever. It's the pus, the
Speaker 1: hole and the anus. Yeah, so it's as but you
Speaker 1: really and remember please remember this is what I meant
Speaker 1: by d J booth. You know, turntables usually is pretty
Speaker 1: much manufactured. It's all they saying. They're all pretty much
Speaker 1: the same. I DJ alone, but I don't want someone
Speaker 1: to DJ. This is what I'm saying. You should ask
Speaker 1: me what I like? Know what you just you don't
Speaker 1: stumble in you guys who want you to know that.
Speaker 1: But I want you to take your time. I want
Speaker 1: you to talk to the person that owns the clitteress
Speaker 1: and ask them what they like, because what Mandy Light
Speaker 1: is it might not be what I like. And I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. The one thing that I've really um,
Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of and maybe because this is
Speaker 1: how I play with myself. I don't like a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure applied. And I've been with men who really
Speaker 1: like try to like put push my clip back in
Speaker 1: right and it don't. It's really hard. I get that.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I don't like a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1: Feel so much better to just be soft just more
Speaker 1: so much like a little more pressure. We have a
Speaker 1: lot of nerves. There is eight thousand and the clitterest.
Speaker 1: So you just want to make sure you're like you
Speaker 1: just kind of you don't talk to the owner, asked
Speaker 1: them what they like. Maybe even let's get real sexy.
Speaker 1: How about you show me how you with DJ yourself. Okay,
Speaker 1: so this is my favorite thing, my entire vagina. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'd like it to be touched. And I feel like
Speaker 1: men just like want to open my pussy and they
Speaker 1: just want to start like licking it or putting their
Speaker 1: fingers in it. Like dude, stop, take your fucking whole
Speaker 1: face or mouth or your hands and like get the blood.
Speaker 1: Especially if you got a beard, Oh my god, a
Speaker 1: little put you and you've got a big nose, put
Speaker 1: your nose in their motherfucker. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I wasn't getting fun of that last dude's nose. I
Speaker 1: was just saying, I think he hates his own nose.
Speaker 1: But what I would have done was put it right
Speaker 1: about that and ridden that not something to do with it,
Speaker 1: and I smell good, Get all of it in there
Speaker 1: and question. I have a question real quickly. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I've been with women before, whore I've been really shy
Speaker 1: about telling me what they'd like. Oh yeah, what is
Speaker 1: a good way to have them open up comfortably and
Speaker 1: with consent? Uh so, then you could help him out
Speaker 1: in the bedroom? Multiple choice? There is that you know
Speaker 1: that I really I will I want I won't list,
Speaker 1: which we talked about the last time I was here,
Speaker 1: as well as setting up a sex date. Um, so
Speaker 1: that's where you go on a date. You can review
Speaker 1: the will I will, I want I won't list. That's
Speaker 1: kind of intense. I will I'll email it to you.
Speaker 1: It's kind of intense because it has all the different sex.
Speaker 1: Where are you going to you go to get to
Speaker 1: your house, get a pizza and you know, a Bible,
Speaker 1: wine and just But the whole goal is to not
Speaker 1: actually have sex that night, because what happens is, remember
Speaker 1: your brain is the most important part. It gets you excited. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, you could do some texting and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: could we talk about what you like? There are some
Speaker 1: games where um, you would start a fantasy with one
Speaker 1: sentence and and then you fold that over, and then
Speaker 1: you give it to your partner and they write one
Speaker 1: sentence and then they fall that over and then another
Speaker 1: sentence and then you read all these acts. Like you know,
Speaker 1: the prompt would be like you're on a beach, now
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen? And then wheezy, you would write something
Speaker 1: down and then you would fold it and then Mandy,
Speaker 1: you know I love doing much. That's terrible, that sounds awful,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's really about creating opportunities to have conversations.
Speaker 1: You could also say, um, you know, babe, I I
Speaker 1: caught a glimpse of this porno the other day and
Speaker 1: I found myself really turned on. What do you born?
Speaker 1: I blame porn all the time, like, and just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you want to try this? These are ways to
Speaker 1: start opening up lines of communication, because that's what we're
Speaker 1: not doing because we're too busy out here talking about
Speaker 1: I want to beat up the plus mine. You guys
Speaker 1: only got three SIPs three words, it's like I want
Speaker 1: you to I was facing out so because I was
Speaker 1: really trying to think of like another word that I
Speaker 1: was used instead of like he sucked me hard and
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, like we made love. No, it was
Speaker 1: really intimat I want someone to valprehend my ass' what word?
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, like, how can we get more creative? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I don't get it. Well, they know I
Speaker 1: don't know what they just limited over here? Well no,
Speaker 1: but that would be my advice, just trying to make
Speaker 1: up make a time when you guys just talk about
Speaker 1: sex or your fantasies but don't actually have it, because
Speaker 1: then you get kind of hot inside and you're like
Speaker 1: if I can't even get it on, I love Uh
Speaker 1: that we kind of led right into the horrible decisions.
Speaker 1: So I hope that you guys have been taking notes. Um.
Speaker 1: I know we've talked about partners, but I literally wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about talking sex specifically with you, because, um,
Speaker 1: we do it around strangers, we do it with friends, sometimes,
Speaker 1: we do it with family, um, and of course we
Speaker 1: do it with partners. And I wanted to kind of
Speaker 1: all of us share and discuss some of the most
Speaker 1: uncomfortable sex conversations we've had with our friends, family and lovers,
Speaker 1: and kind of what even ed and hinted too was
Speaker 1: getting over the uncomfortable phase of just talking sex with
Speaker 1: those certain groups of people. Um So, I guess that's
Speaker 1: where we start with, like, do you guys, off the
Speaker 1: top of your head, have a scenario or story about
Speaker 1: just talking about sex with either a family member, a lover,
Speaker 1: or a friend. Um So, you know, my sex talk
Speaker 1: growing up was my mom's a lesbian, get yours first
Speaker 1: and get out many ship. So I mean that's work
Speaker 1: but very valid. And then I think when it comes
Speaker 1: to like friends, the most awkward is when it's like
Speaker 1: I'll get a text message and it's like, gir, I
Speaker 1: have this lump? Can you tell me what it is?
Speaker 1: It's like, no, Beach, I can't. I'm not a clinic.
Speaker 1: I used to do that to uh Dr Kim at
Speaker 1: least doctor No. But she called me and she was
Speaker 1: I think we had episode seventeen. She was on It's
Speaker 1: crazy Remember Numbers. But she calls me and she's like, Gila,
Speaker 1: I love you, Han, but like, you can't call me
Speaker 1: with your Regina staff all the time. He's like, just
Speaker 1: go to the doctor. And then when I found out
Speaker 1: it's a raise your bop and I spend three dollars. Bitch,
Speaker 1: I this is why we need our friends. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I think that's okay, But your friends don't have medical degrees.
Speaker 1: That's why let's do web MD together. Just look at
Speaker 1: this place. We actually at that point, you're pregnant, have AIDS,
Speaker 1: or you're about to die. Those are all of the
Speaker 1: way Those are all of the ways that web MD
Speaker 1: normally ends. Um it's weird because I I'm everyone's go
Speaker 1: to with sex for my friends, um, and I hate it.
Speaker 1: Like literally, I just walked my friend through having the
Speaker 1: conversation with with like the guy she's dating now, um
Speaker 1: because I talked about it with welly. But the guy
Speaker 1: that she's with knocked her period on. But that was
Speaker 1: his first time seeing period blood. So even he he
Speaker 1: made the unawkwardness like, uh, what is it called announcement?
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just gonna say announcement. But when he
Speaker 1: got into the shower, he was like, yeah, like your membranes.
Speaker 1: I saw your membranes. It was going down the drain,
Speaker 1: but I they were blood clot Yeah, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: definitely the lining and that was that was his first time.
Speaker 1: So she was like a membrane called membranes bro And
Speaker 1: I was like, might have had a sex sad class
Speaker 1: sometime and and so literally he's a uterine lining. Well
Speaker 1: he's been like he's really into fingers in the butt,
Speaker 1: but she's scared that when the finger comes out, there's
Speaker 1: gonna be shipped there. There probably will be. And so
Speaker 1: literally that's the conversation I had top where I was like,
Speaker 1: well you hadn't already seen membranes and blood clots and
Speaker 1: literally did that bad? If you're gonna do booty sex,
Speaker 1: you gotta know there's gonna be pooped there even had
Speaker 1: I said, there's some particles. So she said, so that's
Speaker 1: the conversation. And my advice to her was, will have
Speaker 1: this conversation with him. Well before sex, they all are
Speaker 1: just sucking, chilling or maybe not out all at lunch
Speaker 1: but maybe grabbing drinks. I said, bring up, hey, what
Speaker 1: would your how would you react if U ship just
Speaker 1: happened to be on your hand or situation? Right like,
Speaker 1: how would you you know, think about that? And so
Speaker 1: literally she's like, girl, we fell into the conversation, not
Speaker 1: having sex, and she was like she laughed because she
Speaker 1: was like, it was so much easier than I thought
Speaker 1: it would be. Yeah, but we just openly talked about
Speaker 1: the blood situation and then we brought it to a
Speaker 1: shitty situation and she was like, I was so shocked
Speaker 1: at how open he was to just talking about ship
Speaker 1: and blood. Well that's a good keeper. That's a keeper.
Speaker 1: A couple of things I think I do want to
Speaker 1: say is, first of all, practice in the mirror by
Speaker 1: yourself if you're worried practicing what talking a conversation? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like talking if you don't have a friend that you
Speaker 1: can trust, like you, Mandy or you. I sort of
Speaker 1: I thought you were saying practice, but she's saying talk
Speaker 1: to yourself in a mirror, Like, because I thought you're
Speaker 1: gonna say, see what comes out. Okay, that's not where
Speaker 1: it was. So I think that's you know, practice with
Speaker 1: your home girls, you know, and do some role play,
Speaker 1: not sexual roleplay, but having the conversation, because a lot
Speaker 1: of times it is easier than we think it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: A lot just we have this mental block. So if
Speaker 1: you totally but if you practice with a friend who
Speaker 1: gives you all the reactions like oh you nasty, how
Speaker 1: or whatever, then when you go and have it, it's
Speaker 1: not that bad. Also, I do want to say this,
Speaker 1: and I think this is important for us in this space.
Speaker 1: You have to set boundaries, right um, when it comes
Speaker 1: to your friends always asking you for advice, or even
Speaker 1: for me when I go on podcast, when people want
Speaker 1: to ask me about my personal sex life, I try
Speaker 1: very hard not to share, not because I'm approved, not
Speaker 1: because I'm not having sex, but more because I need
Speaker 1: a little bit of my own person Like I don't
Speaker 1: need you to know what I like and what I
Speaker 1: don't like. Because I like sex. I think sex is great.
Speaker 1: I love masturbation, I love being kinky. But how is
Speaker 1: me telling you my detailed sex life gonna help it?
Speaker 1: I really mean, we've helped a lot of people I
Speaker 1: know you have. I don't want to discredit. First of all,
Speaker 1: I'm not discrediting because I think this is your podcast
Speaker 1: and it's so beautiful that you're willing to and able
Speaker 1: to be so open. I've been doing this for so
Speaker 1: long and do it in so many different spaces that
Speaker 1: I really just try to hold back a little because
Speaker 1: sex is my whole life, like I want, I want
Speaker 1: something that is not for myself, like just for me
Speaker 1: and my lovers. Can I ask you, do you think
Speaker 1: that bringing comedy into sex in the bedroom helps? Because
Speaker 1: I think that the way we talk about sex it
Speaker 1: would be funny, this should be funny. Will not be
Speaker 1: telling back stories. I just I always laugh at it.
Speaker 1: So do you believe that that's a healthy approach as well?
Speaker 1: We have to understand that for a lot of us,
Speaker 1: we've experienced trauma around all of these things. And you know,
Speaker 1: while I think it's great that we give people advice
Speaker 1: and we're in this space and people trust us and
Speaker 1: tell us their stories and we are able to tell
Speaker 1: our stories, sometimes telling these stories can bring up trauma
Speaker 1: for ourselves. And then who do we run to? If
Speaker 1: if if the three of us, everybody else is looking
Speaker 1: at to like be great and have all the answers
Speaker 1: when we are breaking down, who can we go to?
Speaker 1: And I think that that's important to like recognize, And
Speaker 1: so I always encourage people like, you know, you can
Speaker 1: talk about these things if you want to. Um, I
Speaker 1: try to be polite when I'm like, I don't need
Speaker 1: to tell you, like what vibrator I pulled out this morning, right, um.
Speaker 1: But I try to just keep it some type of
Speaker 1: humor in it. I try to let people walk away
Speaker 1: feeling good, um, and feeling affirmed and knowing that they're normal.
Speaker 1: They're they're like sex is so different for everybody, and
Speaker 1: there is no there is no weird. There is no
Speaker 1: abnormal unless it's non consensual or and that's about it. Like,
Speaker 1: as long as what you're doing is consensual, I'm always
Speaker 1: here to give advice. Now I do privately judge, and
Speaker 1: then sometimes I'll judge in your face, like the Tickle episode.
Speaker 1: I don't think that Nigga is crazy weird, but I
Speaker 1: was like, that's weird for me. And I'll tell you why.
Speaker 1: There are certain types of sex out here, and I
Speaker 1: mean weird. And I say weird with pleasure because I
Speaker 1: love talking about some weird ship, whether it be the photographer,
Speaker 1: which you all always laugh at me saying because he
Speaker 1: is so normal, um, the A B D L, the
Speaker 1: diaper fetish like ship like that. Like when I hear
Speaker 1: about outlandish sex, I start to feel like, you know what, Damn,
Speaker 1: I'm vanilla. Should I even have this podcast? Because Nigga,
Speaker 1: I've never fucking whipped out of diaper. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, do I need to to have this degree?
Speaker 1: Like I love talking about those types of kinks that
Speaker 1: are all the way out there because that's really when
Speaker 1: you get to the nitty gritty of like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is like real sex talk. We're not just crafting the
Speaker 1: surface of am I gonna have a threesome? Is he
Speaker 1: gonna tie me up? Like? I love those conversations of
Speaker 1: like that super alternative sex life because even this podcast
Speaker 1: has made me feel like sex club and swinging because
Speaker 1: of your experiences, Like it's not that crazy I started,
Speaker 1: and it never has been. It's also not as sexy
Speaker 1: as you might think. I gotta take it. I gotta
Speaker 1: take it and stuff w thing. I brought my friend
Speaker 1: who is well, she's super vanilla. I took her there
Speaker 1: one night itself. You mean, well, no, we'll talk about um.
Speaker 1: But I took her there and she enjoyed it because
Speaker 1: she actually thought it was going to be a lot
Speaker 1: more uh animalistic, And she when I brought her there,
Speaker 1: she just looked and she was like all the men
Speaker 1: everything was so intimate way that the men were. You
Speaker 1: always talk about how great it is you said, it
Speaker 1: cannot be so sexy. That's what I want to hear.
Speaker 1: Why would you say something cannot be that Atlanta wasn't sexy.
Speaker 1: I've definitely talked tell me what you mean about sex
Speaker 1: club cannot be that sexy. I said, what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is they're not always as sexy as we imagine. Tell
Speaker 1: me what you mean, middle age, it's not. And I
Speaker 1: was sure they had Confederate flags and they trus We
Speaker 1: we romanticize this idea about how sexy it's gonna be
Speaker 1: and everybody's gonna be as good looking as me or
Speaker 1: better looking than me, and oftentimes it is not. It
Speaker 1: is a lot of bodily fluids, you know, Um, it's
Speaker 1: it's it can awkward moments. Think about sex in general,
Speaker 1: there's some awkward moments. So imagine doing it for funny people.
Speaker 1: I have both experiences, right, like when it comes to
Speaker 1: in a seb w um, you know, I got to
Speaker 1: experience it and people got to watch it on sex cells,
Speaker 1: like we got to take the camera through and see
Speaker 1: that people were hot there. But then I've also been
Speaker 1: to sex clubs where I was like not impressed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I mainly because of how I thought that people looked.
Speaker 1: And I don't feel bad for saying this because I
Speaker 1: don't care. I don't care. You are a person that
Speaker 1: thinks that you're not hot. You don't even want to
Speaker 1: go on a sex club where you think it's gonna
Speaker 1: be some ugly motherfucker's that. I mean, it's weird because,
Speaker 1: to be honest, like I've been in like those types
Speaker 1: of room and spaces um, and to me, I realized
Speaker 1: how much, especially with women I the type that I
Speaker 1: think I have when I'm in that space and I
Speaker 1: get a vibe, I realized how much energy is more
Speaker 1: important in those spaces. Um. Safety and just feeling free
Speaker 1: with someone goes far beyond looks. So if you're in
Speaker 1: the right space, like I've been with women that I
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't look at maybe walking down the street, but
Speaker 1: maybe because we just sat there and talked or petted
Speaker 1: each other, it went further than I think it normally
Speaker 1: would have went, Like walking in I've definitely I've had
Speaker 1: your vibe before. Oh I want to, I want to.
Speaker 1: I mean I've been to some other spaces that I
Speaker 1: was like, oh wow, that's very hot. Oh it's I
Speaker 1: gotta bring you to the spot for the for the
Speaker 1: most part, I'm not that sex clubs to the one,
Speaker 1: the one downstairs. Oh we'll talk, yes, the one downstairs. Wait,
Speaker 1: it's not you have sex and sex stuff. Tell us
Speaker 1: your sex club experience. I will not. All right, she
Speaker 1: just said, I don't think you know what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is I'm saying, share it. You will not one. I
Speaker 1: don't know what I do there too, because you know,
Speaker 1: I may go to be a vayer, I may go
Speaker 1: to participate. Um, but but that is a great example of,
Speaker 1: like I think, wanting to be able to have that
Speaker 1: experience and that moment to always relation whatever it was
Speaker 1: I did, whether it was impact play, whether it was flogging,
Speaker 1: whether it was being an a dominant position or a
Speaker 1: submissive position. I think that you know, for me, that's
Speaker 1: you know, those are memories I'll hold for myself when
Speaker 1: you talk about impact play, like, it's interesting because um,
Speaker 1: Mandy talked about experience where she got tied up in
Speaker 1: Orlando and it was super hot. Like that to me
Speaker 1: is still engaging in a sex club. But people will
Speaker 1: always say, like, do you fucking sex clubs? Things like that?
Speaker 1: Like I like, I think that we forget about the
Speaker 1: other things you could. If you go to a sex club,
Speaker 1: you are engaging in a sex club as a bowyer,
Speaker 1: even if you don't touch anybody. And I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. There's a lot of times, and
Speaker 1: me and my partner talked about it. He can count
Speaker 1: all less than a hand how many times he's actually
Speaker 1: even had sex or dealt with other people. Like when
Speaker 1: we go ay, we like watching. When I bring my friends,
Speaker 1: they like to watch. They don't too much like to
Speaker 1: engage unless they're with their partner. But there's massages, like
Speaker 1: I said, there's petting. When we was on Molly, which
Speaker 1: we was all just petting each other. It was just arms, shoulders, legs.
Speaker 1: No one had intercourse, no one even masturbated. It was
Speaker 1: all just petting and laying and cuddling. Um, Like I said,
Speaker 1: there's massaging there. And there are also a lot of
Speaker 1: the sex toys, so you have the flogging, the whipping,
Speaker 1: the spanking. I mean no, I've definitely had a you know,
Speaker 1: a good experience at end STUW. But overall, like I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe because I'm also picky too, I have
Speaker 1: like when I go through drafts of sex it's because
Speaker 1: I'm not key about dick, so I'm not shocked that
Speaker 1: I'll go to a place with thirty people and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: now if I could walk up to a bar and
Speaker 1: I'll find a nigga. The thing about the sex leave, though,
Speaker 1: and I would encourage anyone to try it out to
Speaker 1: go is just I think it's definitely a bucket listening
Speaker 1: to do. I would it's like one bucket less thing
Speaker 1: to do. And also like the pressure of having sex
Speaker 1: and people like thinking that you're not fucking doesn't really
Speaker 1: exist like you think it does. Right, Um, do we
Speaker 1: have a whole meal? Yes, we do. Help us Dr Michelle.
Speaker 1: So this one, of course is asking for tips. And
Speaker 1: since we talked about the clips, since we talked about
Speaker 1: talking sex, this uh involves masturbation. So good afternoon, Wheezy
Speaker 1: and Mandy. I hope this email finds you out. I'm
Speaker 1: a twenty year old woman. I feel like Wheezy is
Speaker 1: the older version of me besides the white boy face
Speaker 1: and touching other cred Maybe one day, though, I recommend
Speaker 1: that y'all get your genitals, especially if you have great
Speaker 1: orgasms already, And I do want your opinion on genitals. Um,
Speaker 1: it doesn't hurt, I promise, or maybe I'm unfazed by
Speaker 1: pain now, But none of that has anything to do
Speaker 1: with my question. I can sunk myself pretty well, if
Speaker 1: I must say so myself. But I am in search
Speaker 1: of new masturbating tips. I hear Wheezy got the activity
Speaker 1: down to a science. So any tips and tricks that
Speaker 1: are not commonly known best b EPs. And I gotta
Speaker 1: read this ps because it's crazy. I don't want to
Speaker 1: make y'all feel old, but y'all are close to my
Speaker 1: mother's age, and so sometimes listening to y'all is weird.
Speaker 1: Granted she had me at fourteen, but informative and all
Speaker 1: around great show. Just say your mama, hope, but it's okay.
Speaker 1: Well I'm gonna say nobody your mama. I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: it and shout up to your mama. Girl you Oh,
Speaker 1: it's not a bad thing if we say her mama, Ho,
Speaker 1: my mama ho wa wa yama. But I don't know
Speaker 1: that grandmama. What the fun? Why are you going? Everybody?
Speaker 1: Mama sho mama? Why? Girl? Weird? This okay? So let
Speaker 1: me because you know I'm away. We got to keep
Speaker 1: it but okay, so here's my thing. MAYA vice would
Speaker 1: be to start making masturbation a regular practice of self care.
Speaker 1: That's not a trick or a stick a dildo on
Speaker 1: the wall, But I think it's honoring yourself. Nice tip
Speaker 1: and honoring yourself and honoring that intimate time with yourself.
Speaker 1: That would be my That would be and light candles,
Speaker 1: make sure your space is clean, put on some music,
Speaker 1: and do a little meditation before and really start visualizing
Speaker 1: what kind of orgasms you want. And then also like
Speaker 1: what orgasms have a lot of energy, so use that
Speaker 1: energy to manifest thoughts that bring you a prosperity, prove
Speaker 1: prosperity or love or whatever you want. That's that would
Speaker 1: be my tip. I like that manifesting. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: we talked about a we interviewed. I forgot her name.
Speaker 1: Kristen's so lier maybe like she has a book which
Speaker 1: is slts in something or something. Anyway, I read the
Speaker 1: book like che We brought her on and she talked
Speaker 1: about sex magic and I do that ship all the day.
Speaker 1: I'm all for it. And I think that like when
Speaker 1: we almost take like trying to figure out the orgasm
Speaker 1: out of masturbation, like I can masturbate a long time
Speaker 1: just to enjoy touching myself, and I think that's what
Speaker 1: we all should do. Sometimes. That goal of and even
Speaker 1: during sex, that goal of orgasm is a scary fucking
Speaker 1: place because now you're putting pressure on yourself, like it's
Speaker 1: just too much. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's
Speaker 1: like an end and start date. You're just like, no,
Speaker 1: you should create it as something that is for you
Speaker 1: and really honor it as a ritual, ritual of self care.
Speaker 1: I like that answer. I do like that answer. No,
Speaker 1: I'm probably going to have one that girl, Okay, party here, Yes,
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that. Yeah, all right, well, Michelle, thank
Speaker 1: you so very much for joining us. And where can
Speaker 1: people find you? I mean you can find me obviously
Speaker 1: on the social media at MH Expert on everything um
Speaker 1: and then my website at mate or not at www
Speaker 1: dot mh s expert. Stay tuned. I have some cool
Speaker 1: things in the pipeline, so you always got something cool
Speaker 1: on the pipeline. Yeah, so yeah, thanks for coming and
Speaker 1: explaining fucking having sex with Ava Ginta nicely. Fucking It's fine.
Speaker 1: It's the beat it up part. We're trying to learn
Speaker 1: new words for okay, caressing, well fucking ship. I gotta
Speaker 1: learn how to say the need to learn some more words.
Speaker 1: You know, reading is fundamental, damn it. But that song
Speaker 1: I'm doing, Oh I'm sorry, that's definitely the song that
Speaker 1: came to mind from me. Too terrible and what was down?
Speaker 1: Beat it down? But no, not beating? Why are you
Speaker 1: beating it? It's be not the direction of beating. She
Speaker 1: went from beating it up to beat the down up.
Speaker 1: But I'd like to give the confusion in Michelle's face.
Speaker 1: You know it is what it is. Guys. We hope
Speaker 1: you learned UH some good things tips and practices from
Speaker 1: this week's episode. Make sure you stay tuned. We are
Speaker 1: going to drop you, guys a five minute bonus clip
Speaker 1: after this from our patreon, so if you're all caught
Speaker 1: up and want to hear more episodes, we do drop
Speaker 1: one episode every week on our patreon this patreon dot
Speaker 1: com back slash see that backslash horrible decision um. And
Speaker 1: then we also do once a month town halls, which
Speaker 1: are amazing. You get to join us on Zoom and
Speaker 1: we the this last month, UH did boost the Zoom account,
Speaker 1: so we now ship I think we had almost two
Speaker 1: hundred people in our last time, which was really really exciting,
Speaker 1: aside from the fact that someone started moaning and a
Speaker 1: dick was shown, and oh my god, this is why
Speaker 1: we have been trying to keep the ship down to
Speaker 1: the first time we go with the two hundred people,
Speaker 1: somebody show. I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm very
Speaker 1: involved in our Patreon community because we've had that ship
Speaker 1: almost I don't know, yes, I don't know any other
Speaker 1: podcast that I had this ship for five years, but
Speaker 1: we have. And when I tell you, I will find
Speaker 1: your email, I will hunt you down, track you down
Speaker 1: to Chinatown. Don't you ever put your dick on my
Speaker 1: screen on warranty that this nasty? It was yourself too,
Speaker 1: munch people. There were kids on that ship. People will
Speaker 1: put it on your fucking TV if you pulled your
Speaker 1: dick out. Yes we're talking about orgasms, but they know
Speaker 1: what they're gonna get. We didn't have to see that
Speaker 1: dusty dick okay, and it was dusty okay. Um. So yeah,
Speaker 1: make sure you join and support us. Also be sure
Speaker 1: to check out again. I am rebranding official box owner,
Speaker 1: So get your vitamins, get your work as a depositories
Speaker 1: and apple cider or gummies. Um. Again that's official box
Speaker 1: owner dot com um. And again Michelle, thank you so
Speaker 1: so so support local orgasms. Right wheel and guys, this
Speaker 1: has been yet another episode of four Decisions. Fight Me
Speaker 1: it's bonus, bitches, Welcome to another cinema episode. Alexa, shut
Speaker 1: your grass up, boom, that's how talk to her. I
Speaker 1: just got an election, God making me feel like the
Speaker 1: bitch is stalking me. Like I get worried about you.
Speaker 1: I've never that is my first Alexa. Really I don't
Speaker 1: like I have. Um it's weird because I have two
Speaker 1: in my house, a Syrian my bathroom, and then I
Speaker 1: got my man uh one for his car. But he's old,
Speaker 1: so he just feels like you don't want nobody watching him.
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, you're not a criminal. They That's
Speaker 1: how I just felt. But lambea scared me. Are about us?
Speaker 1: They just tell us the weather and play our tunes.
Speaker 1: That's all they do. Lamba made me unplug it. Um.
Speaker 1: I wanted to play some rent fires and fuck and
Speaker 1: I was like, Alexa played rent Fires and he was like,
Speaker 1: whoa wonderful that ship going on? Now you knew you
Speaker 1: was gonna activate her as bro Alexa stop, Alexa stop nothing, Alexa,
Speaker 1: turn it off you already. That's why he said he
Speaker 1: didn't want her around because they hear every thing. Okay.
Speaker 1: I said, fine, okay, I'll turn it off. He was like,
Speaker 1: played on your phone. So then I started playing it
Speaker 1: on my phone, but I chrome casted to the TV
Speaker 1: and then he was like, I thought your TV had internet.
Speaker 1: Why are you putting ship up on the TV now?
Speaker 1: And it's talking like I don't like this ship and
Speaker 1: I was like, Nigga, what the fuck, Mandy, He's not
Speaker 1: even that old, Like this is how you know, even
Speaker 1: in the system too long, Like it's crazy, it's fun
Speaker 1: to me. Um. Also update, I told Old Bay two
Speaker 1: weeks ago. You guys probably heard me say that Lambeau
Speaker 1: is gonna get me a car. I called Old Bay
Speaker 1: right after the episode. I was like, you know Kodak black,
Speaker 1: because that's what you call him. He said, yeah, what's up.
Speaker 1: I was like, they niver want to get me a
Speaker 1: car and pay my rent. He just was silent, and
Speaker 1: I was like what he said? Okay, Gila, what do
Speaker 1: you want me to say? I was like, I just
Speaker 1: want you to tell me whether you think that's crazy.
Speaker 1: His answer to that was saying, I know you're gonna
Speaker 1: do what you want to do regardless. That's that's what
Speaker 1: that response was giving. Do you want me to pick
Speaker 1: you up in a nice car when you visit l
Speaker 1: A your web bad? That's really what it is. That's
Speaker 1: really like the real question. So how did you respond
Speaker 1: to that? Like if he said what do you want
Speaker 1: me to say? Like, what what type of response did
Speaker 1: you expect him to that? I was like, you know
Speaker 1: what kind of car I wanted? That car is like
Speaker 1: two thousands a month, Like is that really gonna drive
Speaker 1: you crazy? And he was just like, it's what you
Speaker 1: want to do, Gila. So it's giving I can't tell
Speaker 1: you what you do, well, it's given that, but also
Speaker 1: I can't tell you what to do, which I appreciate.
Speaker 1: But I also feel like if he called me like
Speaker 1: and was like, this bitch wants to fucking buy X,
Speaker 1: Y and Z for me, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: you would have a fucking fit. Yeah I would, um,
Speaker 1: but you know I ain't gonna lie. I feel like
Speaker 1: the worst of it all was saying that I accidentally
Speaker 1: sucked him we're all like that was the real fucking
Speaker 1: embarrassing thing to call my wish to be honest, Mandy,
Speaker 1: he was so appreciative that I said it without like
Speaker 1: trying to bullshit around it when I came home, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And I feel like I would
Speaker 1: have been the same way. Like when I really thought
Speaker 1: about it, I thought that he was gonna be like, bitter,
Speaker 1: you out of your mind, But if he called me,
Speaker 1: was like, yo, I mean that's what I'm saying. Mistakes happened,
Speaker 1: But a nigga paying your rent and get you a car,
Speaker 1: that's more like a relationship, which is why I'm wanted
Speaker 1: because I don't want him to think he could just
Speaker 1: take the card of off beats bitch. If a nigga
Speaker 1: buys you a car your rent, he's not sucking. You
Speaker 1: would have condom ever, Okay, well that's who you can't
Speaker 1: do it, Damn. I wish I could just put the
Speaker 1: both of them like that, but um, you know, I
Speaker 1: mean it kind of sucks, but whatever. Anyway, Uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that conversation was a little bit uncomfortable, and I think
Speaker 1: that also Lambeau like doesn't really like understand obey because
Speaker 1: he doesn't really. I just don't think he gets it,
Speaker 1: Like I think he thinks this is some relationship off
Speaker 1: of TV, or like he thinks it's not like a
Speaker 1: real thing, Like he doesn't really maybe understand the openness
Speaker 1: because he's very like if you might, bitch, you can't
Speaker 1: fund me, aboudy type of naggin. But I'm having fun
Speaker 1: with him right now and I don't want it to end.
Speaker 1: So who knows they could blow up in my face.
Speaker 1: One of his baby mamas could fly here and kill me.
Speaker 1: There's also that that's a big opportunity for that happened
Speaker 1: as them host damn show. One of them what was
Speaker 1: I gonna say? Hit him up and was like this
Speaker 1: bitch talking about you on her podcast and started like
Speaker 1: blowing up. She was like, who the funk else got
Speaker 1: a lamba and NIGGD. So I mean there's always that
Speaker 1: um you know, who knows. Hopefully they don't come get
Speaker 1: both of us. Bitch, I were gonna take this the
Speaker 1: car model, I thought about her, it's nothing that happens
Speaker 1: with you. They ain't coming for us, which they're coming
Speaker 1: for you.